Okay, before people come jumping down my throat, let me explain the title of this thread. The title of this thread is the title of a three part commentary, I did on youtube, in repsonse to a video there. I purposely made the title incitful, because I knew that I would get more peoples attention. Anyways, I wanted to post my commentary as well as the video from the sister who sparked it all, and get some feedback. Now you will have to listen to all three videos in order to get the jist of what I am saying. If you only listen to one or two you will miss the point of my video and well you'll be posting messages like some angry retard on Youtube who didn't bother to listen to all the videos or he would have known that my commentary was not an attack on black men as much as it was to make a point that I could very well be angry bitter, hateful, and just let loose on brothers but I dont. Anyways the commentary touches on some personal stuff but, I felt it was something that had to be spoken on in order to help others see at least some of our black women collective perspective as well as personal experience which is hard to refute.

Link to my videos

There are three parts. Also there is a link to the video that sparked the commentary listed in video one and there is another video listed in video commentary 2. Both of these ladies have valid points, and I just wanted to let you all see thier videos to see why I felt the need to comment. Anyways I look forward to you comments. And hopefully, you understand what I am saying and what I am trying to get across.

Video that Sparked the Commentary - Black Women Under Attack
grHW2Z8iYEw

Sister IntelligentNoir's Response - I Have Every Reason to Hate Black Men...PART-1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exnfpkQxy_o
exnfpkQxy_o

Sister IntelligentNoir's Response - I Have Every Reason to Hate Black Men...PART-2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Obo2q7Ed5mE
Obo2q7Ed5mE

Sister IntelligentNoir's Response - I Have Every Reason to Hate Black Men...PART-3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGBRhOxuh7o
QGBRhOxuh7o

you become an adult when you figure out who to really hate.......and why


Okay, did you even listen to the videos? I'm asking because if you had, you wouldn't have posted that comment.:em3000: :SuN035:

Sister IntelligentNoir ... i tried to embed the videos here in the thread, so we could more easily follow the story ... but it says your videos can't be embedded ... :( ... no matter though ... i linked to them individually.

I hope i have the right video that sparked your response?

I also hope you don't mind that i edited your post (i only added the videos, didn't change any of your text).

Okay ... i'm gonna watch and listen now.

:heart:

Destee

Sister IntelligentNoir ... i tried to embed the videos here in the thread, so we could more easily follow the story ... but it says your videos can't be embedded ... :( ... no matter though ... i linked to them individually.

I hope i have the right video that sparked your response?

I also hope you don't mind that i edited your post (i only added the videos, didn't change any of your text).

Okay ... i'm gonna watch and listen now.

:heart:

Destee


Sorry sister Destee! I don't allow embedding because of the ignorant people on youtube. The racist, and women haters ect. Again sorry about that but yeah, that sisters video and the comments left for her as well as some nasty comments from black men on other videos where black women were trying to stir diologue are the reason I decided to speak up.

cause and effect...
both genders are slightly at fault in terms of what is going on today...
but white people are the cause of our current plight and they are currently enabling this continuing behavior...if it were not for the wack *** a&r's at these music labels...calling black women b's h's and t's would have never been in style like it is today...imho...

good response to the bitter sister...i hope she heals oneday...

one love
khasm

I'm just wondering if you guys understood the message of my video, becuase it seems to be going over the heads of a lot of people. I'm wondering was my message of holding on to and focusing on the positives over the negatives not clear?

speaking generally....
didn't list to all of the videos in there entirety...

for black people...
gender wars are useless
like a tiger thas toothless...

one love
khasm

speaking generally....
didn't list to all of the videos in there entirety...

for black people...
gender wars are useless
like a tiger thas toothless...

one love
khasm


Could you elaborate a little more as to what you mean by useless? Do you mean they're pointless? I'm confused, but thank you for taking the time to answer me.

ImHotep Sis IntelligentNoir!

I'm listening yet video's keeping skipping. It may be that I have too many windows open right now or something.

Yet...from what I HEAR you saying AND based on the title(s) themselves.

I can only say that your experiences "mirror" my own.

I too can comfortably provide "proof" of the many reason's to "hate black men" and like you suggest....the assault's I have experienced BE~gan with Male authority figures...Fathers, Grandfathers..

I can appreciate Khasm13 sentiments in that it is emotionally challenging to hold such discussions.

Bravo to YOU for BE~ginning the dialogue here!:love:
Just BE mindful...YOU are on emotionally dangerous territory...hence ..all. the wacky comments you RE~cieved on youtube.

People really "can't handle the TRUTH"....however....I would RE~phrase that to say....is not so much that they "can't handle"...rather...it is a major emotional challenge that many are not willing to engage in.

:hearts2:

ImHotep Sis IntelligentNoir!

I'm listening yet video's keeping skipping. It may be that I have too many windows open right now or something.

Yet...from what I HEAR you saying AND based on the title(s) themselves.

I can only say that your experiences "mirror" my own.

I too can comfortably provide "proof" of the many reason's to "hate black men" and like you suggest....the assault's I have experienced BE~gan with Male authority figures...Fathers, Grandfathers..

I can appreciate Khasm13 sentiments in that it is emotionally challenging to hold such discussions.

Bravo to YOU for BE~ginning the dialogue here!:love:
Just BE mindful...YOU are on emotionally dangerous territory...hence ..all. the wacky comments you RE~cieved on youtube.

People really "can't handle the TRUTH"....however....I would RE~phrase that to say....is not so much that they "can't handle"...rather...it is a major emotional challenge that many are not willing to engage in.

:hearts2:

Greetings! Yes! you are right, this is a emotionally charged topic. I guess when I revealed intimate secrets about myself and my life, and showed that despite it all I held on to the positive in my life and let it mold me, that others would relate. But I am finding that most are not listening to the videos in their entirety, taking bits and pieces that fit into what they "wanted" to find in what I had to say instead of hearing the videos and I mean"hear" not just click on them with preconcieved expectations of someone being negative. I do have one bright spot in it all. There was at least one brother who bothered to listen to the videos in their entirety. And he wrote to me in an email, that before he listened to my video he was about to make a video bashing black women, but then he "heard me" not just listened, but "heard me" and he was moved to not engage in the negativity. He even said he could learn from me. Imagine that!

But to tell the truth I could hear frustration in this brother, and I offered him what I could to calm his spirit. I know his pain, but we can not focus on the negatives. Negatives will keep us stationary. Negatives, if we "allow" them will stifle us, steal our hope and cause us to be blinded to the future. I see good things for my people, and all I want as a woman in the struggle with them is for them to see what I see.

I guess when I revealed intimate secrets about myself and my life, and showed that despite it all I held on to the positive in my life and let it mold me,that others would relate

Thing is I've learned, is that ppl have a difficult time dealing with the "intimate secrets" in their own lives and this makes it difficult for them to HEAR yours/ours. While they DO RELATE....they are unable to openly state because their defense mechanisms kick it and protect them from 'KNOWING SELF'...fully...mentally, physically and Spiritually.

I'm glad for the one brother who was BRAVE enough to challenge himself with Hearing YOU and in so Do~ing...He is able to Hear himself.


but we can not focus on the negatives. Negatives will keep us stationary. Negatives, if we "allow" them will stifle us, steal our hope and cause us to be blinded to the future.

And herein lies a major part of the problem impo...

"labelling" as "negative" when WE attempt to speak about things that hurt.

If WE label it as "negative" then...WE will only experience the "negative" of it.
Our experiences are our experiences...the positive's, negatives and indifferent one's period. No need to categorize, compartmentalize and assign worth/value.

I'm crystal clear about the power of words...how WE use them and How they either hurt or help US.

Bottom line for M.E., it is TIME TO FOCUS ON THE 'NEGATIVE'....cause by Ignoring or minimizing or marginalizing them has allowed them to continue to grow and fester........quietly

:hearts2:

And herein lies a major part of the problem impo...

"labelling" as "negative" when WE attempt to speak about things that hurt.

If WE label it as "negative" then...WE will only experience the "negative" of it.
Our experiences are our experiences...the positive's, negatives and indifferent one's period. No need to categorize, compartmentalize and assign worth/value.

I'm crystal clear about the power of words...how WE use them and How they either hurt or help US.

Bottom line for M.E., it is TIME TO FOCUS ON THE 'NEGATIVE'....cause by Ignoring or minimizing or marginalizing them has allowed them to continue to grow and fester........quietly

:hearts2:



You're right! These issues need to be discussed. I guess what I'm trying to say though, is that we're not "all" negative. There is more to black men, women, black people period then the negative, and I want us to not only focus on the bad, but the good too.

It appears the 3rd video is no longer available. Be that as it may, I will speak briefly on the first two.

Regardless of whether or not I received the message, the bottom line is Brothas and Sistahs need to create an environment that permits us to discuss our thoughts, feelings, and emotions face-to-face. Doing it via mass media is only good up to an extent. We are talking about rebuilding the Black Family here, and I truly believe it will take much more than internet/telecommunications. We need to find a way to dis-continue letting our busy lifestyles hinder us from coming together and making things happen! I will be the first to admit that I have an intense day-to-day schedule, but I will also admit that there is a way I can balance that with hearing my Sistahs out, to see how we can come together and resolve our difficulties. If you, Sistah Noir, or anyone else really want to see a change in the way we treat each other, you would be one to spear-head the effort to invoke this change.

MK

You're right! These issues need to be discussed. I guess what I'm trying to say though, is that we're not "all" negative. There is more to black men, women, black people period then the negative, and I want us to not only focus on the bad, but the good too.

True enough!

I sense it's important for Us..as WE attempt to hold these discussions, to BE clear about the purpose, menaing of terms we are using, BE willing to 'keep an open mind" and most importantly...ASK QUESTIONS of each other when WE run into intense emotional responses..

Seek first to overstand


:hearts2:

I'm a Black man BTW. I know the name 'twashing' has confused some people. Anyways. IntelligentNoir, I don't know what to tell you about your two kids and deadbeat husband. I'm pretty numb to the prejudice and condescension society throws at Black people (and I'm thinking men here). Being misunderstood and unseen sort of warps how we see our place and value in society. This isn't any excuse of your ex's behaviour, just a journey I guess. Also, I'd say that most Black men (including myself) don't know what love or trust is - not really.

I've had at least 4 or 5 Black lady friends (not girlfriends) that have said that they will never date another Black man again. And that makes me sad because those were my chances out the window ;-) But also, love and true intimacy just feels like a losing battle. Now, I have to admit that you look good... and you seem very mature. Why did he leave, or you two split, or whatever?

ps...
ppl have a difficult time dealing with the "intimate secrets" in their own lives and this makes it difficult for them to HEAR yours/ours

the bottom line is Brothas and Sistahs need to create an environment that permits us to discuss our thoughts, feelings, and emotions face-to-face.

Sooo agree with these 2 points.

I'm a Black man BTW. I know the name 'twashing' has confused some people. Anyways. IntelligentNoir, I don't know what to tell you about your two kids and deadbeat husband. I'm pretty numb to the prejudice and condescension society throws at Black people (and I'm thinking men here). Being misunderstood and unseen sort of warps how we see our place and value in society. This isn't any excuse of your ex's behaviour, just a journey I guess. Also, I'd say that most Black men (including myself) don't know what love or trust is - not really.

I've had at least 4 or 5 Black lady friends (not girlfriends) that have said that they will never date another Black man again. And that makes me sad because those were my chances out the window ;-) But also, love and true intimacy just feels like a losing battle. Now, I have to admit that you look good... and you seem very mature. Why did he leave, or you two split, or whatever?

ps...




Sooo agree with these 2 points.


Thank you for posting, but just to clarify, the woman in the video was not me, but her video was posted because it was what sparked my commentary. But now if you wanna holla at that sistah you know, I wouldn't get in the way. We can do a Destee styled love connection!:em19: :hearts2:

Oh snap!! Well I would say no to a girl like her.

But my points were actually addressed to your comments. I've seen a lot of fine women, Black and otherwise, swear off Black (and/or Carribbean) men entirely. You're right that we have to live life without the negatives from the past. But I think there's a lot more that needs to happen in the real world before that becomes a reality. I just don't have a resolution. And I don't know what to do at this point but live my life.

Could you elaborate a little more as to what you mean by useless? Do you mean they're pointless? I'm confused, but thank you for taking the time to answer me.

pointless in this country...
as black people we should lean towards peace not war...or at least attempt to...
gender wars as it relates to black people are doing nothing but continuing the work of rich self-righteous white people...yet in still we fall into that trap continually...my first post noted one cause...

i commend all that can look past the pain and hurt in their lives and still keep their eyes on the prize which is continuing to repair the damage that was done by our oppressors...it take a strong moral background and knowledge of self to stay strong amidst the raging storm of life in the u.s.

does the sister in the first video believe that she is the only one that had been slighted by the opposite sex? we all have stories...

one last statement...capitalism is the root of all evil with materialism as a co-signer...these two philosophies are widening the divide between bm and bw...with that said...i'm out!

one love
khasm

Gender wars are not going to help our people.

Both parties are at fault, but I believe one element missing from this conversation is the psychological disenfranchisement of black people.

When you couple, that with a bunch of other social ills, you have a hot mess.

We really need a love movement, and that movement must begin internally before it can manifest externally.

Peace Sister IntelligentNoir,

I listened to all three of your Youtube commentaries and then went back and listen to original video you were responding to.

Though you say, you have every reason to “hate Black men” but you actually don’t; I still find your tone and presentation (as far as the Youtube clip) rather spiteful and embittered. Even the fact that you believe you have ANY “reason to hate” Black men is sort of disconcerting, for I was always taught that the term “hate” is the most damning and dehumanizing term one could utter, and is probably the last emotional hurdle one crosses just short of calling for the death of someone (Now, I was taught this by a grandmother who I held in high esteem the same as you related to your grandfather).

Now I do believe you’re being sincere when you say “you really don’t” hate Black men, with that said, it’s hard to be convinced by the tone of your video, in which you condemn, castigated, and demean Black men throughout the video and then attempt to qualify your statements and soften your pugnacious attack by interjecting some rationale or redemptive adages.

It’s unfortunate that you have personalized your love for Black men by citing only the love and respect that you have for your grandfather, as you show your contempt and “reasons to hate Black men” by starting with your father and then spreading your disdain into a wide web of demonization of Black men. I have had many “not so wonderful” (to say the least) relationships with Black women that are part of my personal journey, which I choose not to “personalize”. I have no “reason” to hate Black women, regardless of any personal misfortunes along the way; for me, “hate” is a word not worth contemplating.

Any Black man who listens to your videos would think you’re carrying around a lot of “baggage” that you’ll unpack in every relationship that you will enter into. You need to really listen to yourself, and it would also be better to have a “heart to heart” conversation with your mother about your father, before you continue to condemn him all over the Internet. We shouldn’t do this to our mothers or fathers for any reason.

You are obviously an intelligent Black woman, yet (IMHO) I don’t see how, the way you presented these audio clips, a platform could be developed for more understanding, civility, and common ground between Black men and women (if you had that purpose in mind).

The Sister, who did the original video, Black Women Under Attack, is once again taking a personal situation and using it to attack all Black men.

I ask, outside of the buffoonery and misogyny found in some of the rap videos, where is this attack on Black women?

Oprah just had a show on the other day with Bill Cosby, and 90% of the problems cited in our community were an attack on Black men. Probably the majority of the novels and magazines published directed toward Black people’s readership are directed towards the interest and complaints of Black women. The most damaging image of a Black woman I’ve seen portrayed in the media in recent times, was when Halle Berry ALLOWED HERSELF to be screwed like an animal in a explicit sex scene by the white executioner of her husband (the movie, Monster’s Ball), and for this she was awarded an Oscar; and Black women said literally nothing about this publicly (except for Angela Bassett).

Are Black men merely to blame for it all, or are Black women arrogantly and hypocritically feeding their own demise, objectification, and misogyny? The South African activist Steven Biko once said, “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”

Black women are correct about many the things they assert from their personal situations and there are many of these issues in the general Black male population, it just that Black women are trying to exclude themselves from the issue. In an attempt to redeem their image over the decades, Black women have developed their own “urban myth” concerning their participation, or better yet, lack thereof as far as the destruction of the Black communities image and civility.

Also, I think there is a perception being created in the media and probably a lot of magazines geared towards Black women that there is a so-called “gender war”. This is a term I have heard used more by white patriarchal males and white feminist than I have heard used by our people. And I have never heard a Black man use such a phrase.

Let me say this in ending, Sisters need to understand, just as you would like to meet Brothers with some of the same redeeming personalities, attributes, and manliness as seen in your grandfathers, Brothers want to see the same redeeming personalities and Black womanhood we remembered exemplified by our grandmothers.


Peace

Though you say, you have every reason to “hate Black men” but you actually don’t; I still find your tone and presentation (as far as the Youtube clip) rather spiteful and embittered.


i really didn't want to state this as my reason for not listening to the audio clips in their entirety...but i did feel the same tone of which brother sun ship speaks...

one love
khasm

Quoting Sun Ship Post # 20
ASE! ASE! ASE!

I find nothing enlightening about dividing BM and BW by giving, for instance, BM something that they can brag about, in an effort to make BW "look bad," and vice-versa.

As I said in my previous post (if folk read it)...we need to [re]build a communication base between one another, with little to no involvement of other people.

MK

Peace Sister IntelligentNoir,

I listened to all three of your Youtube commentaries and then went back and listen to original video you were responding to.

Though you say, you have every reason to “hate Black men” but you actually don’t; I still find your tone and presentation (as far as the Youtube clip) rather spiteful and embittered. Even the fact that you believe you have ANY “reason to hate” Black men is sort of disconcerting, for I was always taught that the term “hate” is the most damning and dehumanizing term one could utter, and is probably the last emotional hurdle one crosses just short of calling for the death of someone (Now, I was taught this by a grandmother who I held in high esteem the same as you related to your grandfather).

Now I do believe you’re being sincere when you say “you really don’t” hate Black men, with that said, it’s hard to be convinced by the tone of your video, in which you condemn, castigated, and demean Black men throughout the video and then attempt to qualify your statements and soften your pugnacious attack by interjecting some rationale or redemptive adages.

It’s unfortunate that you have personalized your love for Black men by citing only the love and respect that you have for your grandfather, as you show your contempt and “reasons to hate Black men” by starting with your father and then spreading your disdain into a wide web of demonization of Black men. I have had many “not so wonderful” (to say the least) relationships with Black women that are part of my personal journey, which I choose not to “personalize”. I have no “reason” to hate Black women, regardless of any personal misfortunes along the way; for me, “hate” is a word not worth contemplating.

Any Black man who listens to your videos would think you’re carrying around a lot of “baggage” that you’ll unpack in every relationship that you will enter into. You need to really listen to yourself, and it would also be better to have a “heart to heart” conversation with your mother about your father, before you continue to condemn him all over the Internet. We shouldn’t do this to our mothers or fathers for any reason.

You are obviously an intelligent Black woman, yet (IMHO) I don’t see how, the way you presented these audio clips, a platform could be developed for more understanding, civility, and common ground between Black men and women (if you had that purpose in mind).

The Sister, who did the original video, Black Women Under Attack, is once again taking a personal situation and using it to attack all Black men.

I ask, outside of the buffoonery and misogyny found in some of the rap videos, where is this attack on Black women?

Oprah just had a show on the other day with Bill Cosby, and 90% of the problems cited in our community were an attack on Black men. Probably the majority of the novels and magazines published directed toward Black people’s readership are directed towards the interest and complaints of Black women. The most damaging image of a Black woman I’ve seen portrayed in the media in recent times, was when Halle Berry ALLOWED HERSELF to be screwed like an animal in a explicit sex scene by the white executioner of her husband (the movie, Monster’s Ball), and for this she was awarded an Oscar; and Black women said literally nothing about this publicly (except for Angela Bassett).

Are Black men merely to blame for it all, or are Black women arrogantly and hypocritically feeding their own demise, objectification, and misogyny? The South African activist Steven Biko once said, “The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.”

Black women are correct about many the things they assert from their personal situations and there are many of these issues in the general Black male population, it just that Black women are trying to exclude themselves from the issue. In an attempt to redeem their image over the decades, Black women have developed their own “urban myth” concerning their participation, or better yet, lack thereof as far as the destruction of the Black communities image and civility.

Also, I think there is a perception being created in the media and probably a lot of magazines geared towards Black women that there is a so-called “gender war”. This is a term I have heard used more by white patriarchal males and white feminist than I have heard used by our people. And I have never heard a Black man use such a phrase.

Let me say this in ending, Sisters need to understand, just as you would like to meet Brothers with some of the same redeeming personalities, attributes, and manliness as seen in your grandfathers, Brothers want to see the same redeeming personalities and Black womanhood we remembered exemplified by our grandmothers.


Peace

I'm sorry you feel that way but that does not negate the purpose of my video. If it made you or any black male feel uncomfortable, then I have done my job. Furthermore, my video was not simply a reply to her as it was a reply to her video and many others I have seen on the internet where black men have been spiteful, hateful, and demeaning towards black women in their comments. If I sounded angry, you're right, I was after having read some of the stuff posted about black women on that site. However, that does not lessen the fact, that this is as far as my anger goes. And yes, I maintain, I Have every reason to hate blacke men. Every reason, if I used the logic used against black women and lumped all black men together in one group based on my "personal experience" but I don't.

And as I stated before, I think both genders are to blame, but that video, at that time, was in response to the hostility directed towards black women. I also agree that black women have to share in the blame of the whore and ***** label. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see our hands in this. It only takes looking to Youtube and all the nakade, arse shaking, or just practically nakade black women who have posted videos period in comparison to other women of other nationalities. So yeah there are black women who contribute to the image that is put out about us and sisters say nothing. (I think I'll do a commentary on why black women are so silent about these sisters today)

As far as the media creating this image of a gender war. I have to disagree there. I don't read women's magazine, but I have seen forums dedicated to angry are black men who spend their days and night bashing black women for every little infringement. I have seen forums dedicated to loving men of other ethnicities while demonizing black men and have on more then one occasion come toe to toe with the sisters there about black men. I have seen on practically every video on Youtube, from the booty shaking whores, to the women talking about how to manage natural hair, black men coming on and attacking them and their characters and world war three breaking out over only the heavens knows what. And when I have approached these people to inquire as to the reasons why they behave like this, or feel this way. why they feel slander is the only way, what I stated in my videos is what is/was their answer. So no, it's not a figment of anyones imagination and choosing to pretend it is doesn't make it any more so.

Another thing let me get this out there, I didn't castigate, and demean black men. I castigated and demeaned black men with whom I'd had contact. Even if you don't like it, it's still "my" experience with black men. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, what I spoke about was the content of their character. It was just unfortunate that the men mentioned were/are black.

As far as my father , he was used to illustrate that despite popular belief the phenom of dead beat black dads is not just something found amongst the ranks of the "thugs". Nothing more nothing less.



Last, again, my post was to show that depsite "ALL"the negative black men I have had the misfortune of having in my life, I had a positive one. And his positivity was worth more then all the negativity that these black men introduced me to. And thanks to him my "grandfather" I am not one of the brother hating black women, and based on "my" life experience, I very well could choose to be. Anyone who gets more then that out of those videos, is getting what they"re "looking" for cause they're most certainly are not getting what I'm saying.

ASE! ASE! ASE!

I find nothing enlightening about dividing BM and BW by giving, for instance, BM something that they can brag about, in an effort to make BW "look bad," and vice-versa.

As I said in my previous post (if folk read it)...we need to [re]build a communication base between one another, with little to no involvement of other people.

MK


Do tell what there is to gloat about when I say that the neighborhood of my youth functioned like a war zone? Do tell? Because you know, eventhough I say it ws "black men" who went around terrorizing the neighborhoods filled with black women and children and elderly black people, when it is all said and done, the only thing people on the outside see is black people doing this period. They don't take the time to differenciate betwen the gender as to who does what. They could care less. So, be it male or female there is no glory to be gained in stating the sad facts for what they are.

Now how it is you came to the conclusion that anything of this nature could be used to massage the ego of someone is beyond me. And if a person uses something as horrible as this as a self esteem booster then they have some serious problems going on, because if anything situations of this nature tears self appreciation down.

Quoting IntelligentNoir Post # 24

You just proved my point all over again...I also see no joy in it. Nevertheless, I hope the point that we need to come together and share this between ourselves as a collective is well taken, understood, and applied.

MK

Hey Sis...

Hang tight...I have something upping for you!:juggle:

:hearts2:

Hey Sis...

Hang tight...I have something upping for you!:juggle:

:hearts2:


Invitation to Womans R.N.A. meeting (http://sistahvineblackflame.ning.com/video/video/show?id=1171010%3AVideo%3A2106)

:hearts2:

Invitation to Womans R.N.A. meeting (http://sistahvineblackflame.ning.com/video/video/show?id=1171010%3AVideo%3A2106)

:hearts2:


Thanks Sistah TTTC. I will check thing out.:qqb011:

I'm sorry you feel that way but that does not negate the purpose of my video. If it made you or any black male feel uncomfortable, then I have done my job. .
i was going to check them but seeing this, i think i'll take a pass.

Greetings! Yes! you are right, this is a emotionally charged topic. I guess when I revealed intimate secrets about myself and my life, and showed that despite it all I held on to the positive in my life and let it mold me, that others would relate. But I am finding that most are not listening to the videos in their entirety, taking bits and pieces that fit into what they "wanted" to find in what I had to say instead of hearing the videos and I mean"hear" not just click on them with preconcieved expectations of someone being negative. I do have one bright spot in it all. There was at least one brother who bothered to listen to the videos in their entirety. And he wrote to me in an email, that before he listened to my video he was about to make a video bashing black women, but then he "heard me" not just listened, but "heard me" and he was moved to not engage in the negativity. He even said he could learn from me. Imagine that!

But to tell the truth I could hear frustration in this brother, and I offered him what I could to calm his spirit. I know his pain, but we can not focus on the negatives. Negatives will keep us stationary. Negatives, if we "allow" them will stifle us, steal our hope and cause us to be blinded to the future. I see good things for my people, and all I want as a woman in the struggle with them is for them to see what I see.


:hammer: :SuN026: I have avoided this thread. And it is just as well. But here goes

1. Every man that has been dating for a while, has some deep scars to show for it.

2. We, however, did not make Phil Donahue and company multi-millionaires or Oprah a billionaire whining about it

3. Yall have been doggin us for decades. Please allow us a little turn about

4. Over 95% of all realtionships and marriages that brothers have are with sisters. So yall must be doing something right

5. The title of your thread sucks! And leaves you open for attack(s)

I'm sorry you feel that way but that does not negate the purpose of my video. If it made you or any black male feel uncomfortable, then I have done my job. Furthermore, my video was not simply a reply to her as it was a reply to her video and many others I have seen on the internet where black men have been spiteful, hateful, and demeaning towards black women in their comments. If I sounded angry, you're right, I was after having read some of the stuff posted about black women on that site. However, that does not lessen the fact, that this is as far as my anger goes. And yes, I maintain, I Have every reason to hate blacke men. Every reason, if I used the logic used against black women and lumped all black men together in one group based on my "personal experience" but I don't.

And as I stated before, I think both genders are to blame, but that video, at that time, was in response to the hostility directed towards black women. I also agree that black women have to share in the blame of the whore and ***** label. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see our hands in this. It only takes looking to Youtube and all the nakade, arse shaking, or just practically nakade black women who have posted videos period in comparison to other women of other nationalities. So yeah there are black women who contribute to the image that is put out about us and sisters say nothing. (I think I'll do a commentary on why black women are so silent about these sisters today)

As far as the media creating this image of a gender war. I have to disagree there. I don't read women's magazine, but I have seen forums dedicated to angry are black men who spend their days and night bashing black women for every little infringement. I have seen forums dedicated to loving men of other ethnicities while demonizing black men and have on more then one occasion come toe to toe with the sisters there about black men. I have seen on practically every video on Youtube, from the booty shaking whores, to the women talking about how to manage natural hair, black men coming on and attacking them and their characters and world war three breaking out over only the heavens knows what. And when I have approached these people to inquire as to the reasons why they behave like this, or feel this way. why they feel slander is the only way, what I stated in my videos is what is/was their answer. So no, it's not a figment of anyones imagination and choosing to pretend it is doesn't make it any more so.

Another thing let me get this out there, I didn't castigate, and demean black men. I castigated and demeaned black men with whom I'd had contact. Even if you don't like it, it's still "my" experience with black men. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, what I spoke about was the content of their character. It was just unfortunate that the men mentioned were/are black.

As far as my father , he was used to illustrate that despite popular belief the phenom of dead beat black dads is not just something found amongst the ranks of the "thugs". Nothing more nothing less.



Last, again, my post was to show that depsite "ALL"the negative black men I have had the misfortune of having in my life, I had a positive one. And his positivity was worth more then all the negativity that these black men introduced me to. And thanks to him my "grandfather" I am not one of the brother hating black women, and based on "my" life experience, I very well could choose to be. Anyone who gets more then that out of those videos, is getting what they"re "looking" for cause they're most certainly are not getting what I'm saying.

First of all, let me make myself clearer; I have the highest respect for your right to speak your “own” mind, and I am not discounting the personal pain or struggles you have had because of a non-existent relationship with your father, or your father’s side of the family. What becomes problematic is, when Black men and women have relationship issues, or when Black men have any particular issue, it’s viewed not as a mere personal problem, or struggle developed from certain conditions and causalities, nor are Black men problems seen in the broader context of social ills that beseech all American men, or other families in the Western world. There is always a tendency to see every Black man issue within our community as a wide spread pathology and engrained cultural ideology stereotypically unique to Black men without any further scrutiny or reasoning.

Sister, I would like to pickup where Brothers James left off, as he cited part of your response to my post, “If it made you or any black male feel uncomfortable, then I have done my job”. Well, if I gave you the impression that I was merely uncomfortable with your comments in your Youtube video, that was not the perspective I was trying relay. I’m more befuddled than uncomfortable; which makes me ask, with what you expressed in mind, why do you as a Black woman, feel that it’s a job-well-done to make any Black man anymore uncomfortable than he already is?

You also say, “…I could very well be angry bitter, hateful, and just let loose on brothers but I dont.” You speak as if you’re holding this axe or noose over the heads of all Black men. This statement reveals deep-seated unresolved emotions that make whatever other objectives you may have had with your presentation seem rather misconcieved. You act as if you’re doing Black men a favor by not being angry, bitter, or hateful. Though you want your Youtube audio/videos to represent something else, but when Black men feel something else other than that from your videos you dismiss their perspective. Communicating is not a one-way street, whereas you lay down a perspective, or complaint, and it suppose to be warmly received regardless of how you project or relay your feelings.

Though it’s wonderful your grandfather has given you so much hope and was able to uphold the virtues of Black manhood regardless of the struggles he has had to deal with as a Black man in America, even with that being the case, I’m sure that somewhere in your grandfathers long-life everything he attempted to do correctly, was not always perceived as virtuous. The man you knew growing-up had to overtime develop into the man you knew, and overcome many distorted social ills and values that could have possibly swayed him one way or another. And as I alluded to in an earlier post, for every extraordinary grandfather, there where extraordinary grandmothers, that had strong, loving, redeeming, and wonderfully unique personalities you don’t see in many Black women today.

Like I said, men like our (your) grandfathers, are only worthy of women like our grandmothers, and if Black women are not living up to the virtues that were found in many of our grandmothers than they have very little to complain about. For every Black man who “deserves your hatred”, there is a Black woman who happily equally complements, assists, and rewards this type of “bad Black man” behavior. Just look all over the Internet at the Black women who objectify and disrespect themselves, and all of them are not the typical “stereotypical” ideas we have of “some” of our sisters.

I’ll say it again, regardless of what we do, we have no right to HATE each other, this is just another example of the SELF HATE that has plagues Black people for generations. For to have a reason to hate a Black woman is to have a reason to hate our self, and to have a "reason" to hate a Black man is to have a reason to hate your self (including your grandfather).

Peace

First of all, let me make myself clearer; I have the highest respect for your right to speak your “own” mind, and I am not discounting the personal pain or struggles you have had because of a non-existent relationship with your father, or your father’s side of the family. What becomes problematic is, when Black men and women have relationship issues, or when Black men have any particular issue, it’s viewed not as a mere personal problem, or struggle developed from certain conditions and causalities, nor are Black men problems seen in the broader context of social ills that beseech all American men, or other families in the Western world. There is always a tendency to see every Black man issue within our community as a wide spread pathology and engrained cultural ideology stereotypically unique to Black men without any further scrutiny or reasoning.

Sister, I would like to pickup where Brothers James left off, as he cited part of your response to my post, “If it made you or any black male feel uncomfortable, then I have done my job”. Well, if I gave you the impression that I was merely uncomfortable with your comments in your Youtube video, that was not the perspective I was trying relay. I’m more befuddled than uncomfortable; which makes me ask, with what you expressed in mind, why do you as a Black woman, feel that it’s a job-well-done to make any Black man anymore uncomfortable than he already is?

You also say, “…I could very well be angry bitter, hateful, and just let loose on brothers but I dont.” You speak as if you’re holding this axe or noose over the heads of all Black men. This statement reveals deep-seated unresolved emotions that make whatever other objectives you may have had with your presentation seem rather misconcieved. You act as if you’re doing Black men a favor by not being angry, bitter, or hateful. Though you want your Youtube audio/videos to represent something else, but when Black men feel something else other than that from your videos you dismiss their perspective. Communicating is not a one-way street, whereas you lay down a perspective, or complaint, and it suppose to be warmly received regardless of how you project or relay your feelings.

Though it’s wonderful your grandfather has given you so much hope and was able to uphold the virtues of Black manhood regardless of the struggles he has had to deal with as a Black man in America, even with that being the case, I’m sure that somewhere in your grandfathers long-life everything he attempted to do correctly, was not always perceived as virtuous. The man you knew growing-up had to overtime develop into the man you knew, and overcome many distorted social ills and values that could have possibly swayed him one way or another. And as I alluded to in an earlier post, for every extraordinary grandfather, there where extraordinary grandmothers, that had strong, loving, redeeming, and wonderfully unique personalities you don’t see in many Black women today.

Like I said, men like our (your) grandfathers, are only worthy of women like our grandmothers, and if Black women are not living up to the virtues that were found in many of our grandmothers than they have very little to complain about. For every Black man who “deserves your hatred”, there is a Black woman who happily equally complements, assists, and rewards this type of “bad Black man” behavior. Just look all over the Internet at the Black women who objectify and disrespect themselves, and all of them are not the typical “stereotypical” ideas we have of “some” of our sisters.

I’ll say it again, regardless of what we do, we have no right to HATE each other, this is just another example of the SELF HATE that has plagues Black people for generations. For to have a reason to hate a Black woman is to have a reason to hate our self, and to have a "reason" to hate a Black man is to have a reason to hate your self (including your grandfather).

Peace

...okay:qqb013:

I hope healing and growing takes place in anyone, Black man or Black woman, who feels justified to hate our counterparts.

We are made for each other. We are not each other's enemies.

I hope this thread gives all of us some "cause for pause" and introspection.

Hmmmmmmm, I can't view the videos. It says it's been removed.


I am assuming that its because you didn't get the response that you hoped for. I REALLY wanted to see it, too.

But let me say this: "Hate" is a very strong word. Now, add, "Hate" pubilically, Its even stronger. Now, throw in "hate black" to us by us, regardles of gender. Then add more "hate black" as an generalization ??

What does that sound like ?? Who did that ?? And have we had enough hatred applied by others ?? Is it not a sad day when we apply more hatred amongst ourselves ??

You see the point ?? To "hate" our black men. Means to hate yourself. There is no reason or justification for hatred. More less black hatred. ( Regardless of gender) You just told the world that you hate your father, your brothers and your son. And wanted to make that Ok ??

Nawwwwwwww, My sister. If a brother does something to you, dislike HIM, or even THEM. Don't group us all together. Hatred is consuming to the person that applies and exercise it.

Have a good night.

[/B]

First of all, let me make myself clearer; I have the highest respect for your right to speak your “own” mind, and I am not discounting the personal pain or struggles you have had because of a non-existent relationship with your father, or your father’s side of the family. What becomes problematic is, when Black men and women have relationship issues, or when Black men have any particular issue, it’s viewed not as a mere personal problem, or struggle developed from certain conditions and causalities, nor are Black men problems seen in the broader context of social ills that beseech all American men, or other families in the Western world. There is always a tendency to see every Black man issue within our community as a wide spread pathology and engrained cultural ideology stereotypically unique to Black men without any further scrutiny or reasoning.

Sister, I would like to pickup where Brothers James left off, as he cited part of your response to my post, “If it made you or any black male feel uncomfortable, then I have done my job”. Well, if I gave you the impression that I was merely uncomfortable with your comments in your Youtube video, that was not the perspective I was trying relay. I’m more befuddled than uncomfortable; which makes me ask, with what you expressed in mind, why do you as a Black woman, feel that it’s a job-well-done to make any Black man anymore uncomfortable than he already is?

You also say, “…I could very well be angry bitter, hateful, and just let loose on brothers but I dont.” You speak as if you’re holding this axe or noose over the heads of all Black men. This statement reveals deep-seated unresolved emotions that make whatever other objectives you may have had with your presentation seem rather misconcieved. You act as if you’re doing Black men a favor by not being angry, bitter, or hateful. Though you want your Youtube audio/videos to represent something else, but when Black men feel something else other than that from your videos you dismiss their perspective. Communicating is not a one-way street, whereas you lay down a perspective, or complaint, and it suppose to be warmly received regardless of how you project or relay your feelings.

Though it’s wonderful your grandfather has given you so much hope and was able to uphold the virtues of Black manhood regardless of the struggles he has had to deal with as a Black man in America, even with that being the case, I’m sure that somewhere in your grandfathers long-life everything he attempted to do correctly, was not always perceived as virtuous. The man you knew growing-up had to overtime develop into the man you knew, and overcome many distorted social ills and values that could have possibly swayed him one way or another. And as I alluded to in an earlier post, for every extraordinary grandfather, there where extraordinary grandmothers, that had strong, loving, redeeming, and wonderfully unique personalities you don’t see in many Black women today.

Like I said, men like our (your) grandfathers, are only worthy of women like our grandmothers, and if Black women are not living up to the virtues that were found in many of our grandmothers than they have very little to complain about. For every Black man who “deserves your hatred”, there is a Black woman who happily equally complements, assists, and rewards this type of “bad Black man” behavior. Just look all over the Internet at the Black women who objectify and disrespect themselves, and all of them are not the typical “stereotypical” ideas we have of “some” of our sisters.

I’ll say it again, regardless of what we do, we have no right to HATE each other, this is just another example of the SELF HATE that has plagues Black people for generations. For to have a reason to hate a Black woman is to have a reason to hate our self, and to have a "reason" to hate a Black man is to have a reason to hate your self (including your grandfather).

Peace

wise words spoken brother sun ship....

one love
khasm

Sister IntelligentNoir, I tried to view the video on youtube but got a message saying that this video is private. Whad did I do wrong?

Black male bashing is at an all time high and it is being spearheaded by the Interracial dating crowd of radical black women at sites like dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com. Some of it is our fault but I believe media and online objectification of black women along with the promoting of bad relationships through the pimp and playa culture has contributed to the degradation of our relationships with each other. We gotta stand free and away from white negative influence and re establish tight and caring bonds with one another. Our women are slaughtering off our future generation to the beat of 440,000!!!! aborted babies a year. This is cause their is no value, only sex in our relationships. If we don't do better by ourselves , we will be doomed sooner than we may think!