Roxanne
10-16-2001, 07:46 AM
Friday, October 11
Hey You-
****, it's been Two months Two weeks and Two days....that's a lot of too much time, I've not come to you with my perils and basically, it's been same ****, different **** day! N T way today is different. Well, to night anywayz. As usual, I arose this morning to the all so, familiar realization of pressing the snooze bar one time too many; having yet again to pull my **** together just enough to perform that human life sacrafice, America calls going to work. I was so gotdamn happy to see 5:15p which was exactly the time I sat down at my second place of residency. You know, the bar stool at Adeline's Alley. God Bless Lady Adeline, whoever she is, was and moreso for her alley being right up mine! N T way, typical Friday night, right? Un unnnnh, gurl. See, I ordered my usual 3 in 1 round, a tequila gold straight up and two Kamakazees to make sure I get there quick. Well, I had me a designated driver, cuz when the bartender brought mine back, he said it was all paid for by the gentleman, who had excused himself to the restroom. Now, you know what I'm thinking, right? '****, just what I need, another dateless muthaf*&%a who is either too drunk to make it home to his wife and f*%k her or trying to get me too drunk so I just will free f*%k for a few drinks. Hell naw!' So, I just kissed my drinks up to the sky, giving hone to code3:section1 of the alcoholic manual....you know "Free **** always seems to taste better!" My favorite code I might add, and then dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnn! THERE HE WAS!
Darrence B. Freeman! At least, that's what he say his name is. He was standing there in plain slang, fine as sweet plum wine. Somebody turn me in on a warrant, mandatory life sentence, no need for nobody's parole. I'm IN LOVE!
:love: He's 38, six years my elder which is cool, a lil' on the dark side, which is perfect, since chocolate always been my favorite flavor. He was standing there, over 6ft, which you know is a requirement of all my men. Eyes and lips and smooooooooooth skin and ummm, uuuummmm, ummmmm is the words I can only use to decribe and oooooooohhhhhhh and aaaaaahhhhh, and yyyyyeeeeaaaahhhhh....for future reference.
N T way, we sat and talked and laughed and drank some **** up. :toast: All paid for by Mr.Freeman, if I might add. I was so happy to have finally met a man who ain't worried about limiting his expenditures 'cuz HE done had enough to drink. Which reallly means:
Translation 1: Time to hit her house, my house or the Holiday Inn
Or
Translation 2: ****, this b*tch is breaking me! She got to pay for her own drinks.
N T way, when he pulled out his wallet, think I didn't look? Asked him to see his driver's license . How else was I gonna see how fat the wallet was, how many credit cards, baby mommmas, or babies from baby momma's pictures...you know, the wallet is a man's diary! Tells it all! Surprisingly, all those good looks came with all that good legal tender he was sporting. He told me he worked for Nebrix ( whateva the hell that is). His position is a Compound Support Modifier ( whateva the hell that does). He said he was tranferred from some place in Wisconsin to California. He'd only been here for about 6 weeks and ain't seen ****. ****, if I knew they was raising them up like that in Wisconsin, a sistah would've been traveling there on vacation! I sure could get use to waking up early, skipping the snooze bar, anticipating looking at at him some more. Well, he definitely got him a tour guide, even if it's just my body he need guidance touring;)
I know, I know, I said after Curtis, that no good mutha.....I still read my journal entries spanning over one year, eight months of my wasted life with him. That bull**** moves me more on the toilet than Jet magazine. I think about how naive I was back then. Between him with his three kids ( children I'd say, but they act like goats, so kids is actually more precise) his three crazy *** baby mommas; either calling MY house, coming over trying to jump on him, so he could whup they ***** some more:argue: or serve him child support drama, cuz they knew he didn't have no job to get child support papers. Me, I'm steady working, sometimes overtime. Buying groceries, I got the return checks to prove I done bought, never having no food! 'Cept when they was back on the grocery list...nerve! Feeding and F*%king that fool for FREE! All along, I'm doing this **** 'cuz I feel sorry for his sorryass and he ain't doing nothin', but pulling out the sports section from the daily newspaper! Classifieds neatly, always in place, untouched. Eating-Sleeping-and Playing Married that Robbing Hood Muthaf*%ka . I only wish when he left me that his newest baby momma, #4, he would of taken that Clymydia, he left me, too:flame: . Men ain't ****! Sometimes I wanna tear those entries out and just wipe with them.
N T way, enough on reminiscing on decomposed dilemmas. Good bye and good riddins for Brother Curtis. I need my mind fertile for Darrence. Shoot, talking 'bout Curtis almost got my buzz down. ::cuss: But, that Mr. Freeman, that smile, um. That tailored classy suit, that was wearing him, um, um. That converstation I rarely enjoy these days witht the opposite sex or the gentlemanly escort in his midnight blue, Lexus sports coupe! to my raggedy *** bucket of a vehicle (that's alright though, Betty get me round!). Please oh please don't let him be the typical Mr. Wrong For Me and Please oh please let him be goood in bed!
-------------------Oh, OH. :uhoh: There I went. Knowing my sex card is invalid. Said I was gonna hold out for making love. Well, I'm sorry. A sistah can't help if I done already thought about how it would, should and could be. I deserve to be a bit anxious. I ain't had none, none worth documenting for about 9mos. You know that's good for me. Straight up, that's how I like my drinks and my men and I ain't even gonna front. I want him and I want him too be good! I listen to all that whoooride propaganda. All that "It ain't the vehicle, it's the driver". That ain't been proven to me yet! You remember when I use to date William.
Big Billy Boy! Let's just say, he was blessed with one of them 1970 loooooongated, big hard body vehicles. I guess his **** musta didn't come with no cruise control, no power steering. I would be sore for at least a week. 'Den here he come want to go driving on another joyride. At my door all pretty ebony shining with a full tank of gas. I had to trade him in quickly! I couldn't afford the damage! He was doing four/five much!
Then there was the, shall we say LESS fortunate. Lawerence, aka Little Larry. Well, one night he called and wanted to come by, drink a little wine, watch a little cable. You know, casual, usual Larry stuff. N T way, he always would be throwing me play about hooking up, but 'den you know we been knowing each other since, his momma use to press my hair in her kitchen. Him crackin' up when I got my ear burned from moving too much, you know we was more like brother and sister. To me anywayz. I valued the friendship more. Ain't too many friendships that last over 15-20 years. Plus, you know how it be different once you slept with a friend-NO MORE FRIEND. I never could understand that. Must be the Venus-Mars thang.
N T way, Larry was alll on me this night. We was creepin' way back into the good times. We was sippin' Merlot and laughing and the television was stuck on one of them video shows with just love songs-you know, Luther, and Will, and Sade. 'Den, before I knew it, wine glass #4. Now, I don't know if it was the music, Larry or the wine. But he started kissing me, and ooooooowwwwwhhhhhewwww chile, I was kissing him back! We was all goofy and silly. Like we was sneaking in our parents house. We knew neither one of us was a virgin. So one thang, led to another. A kiss here, a touch there, a stroke here, a suck there. Then clothes coming off everywhere:eek: !
Now, when Larry came out of them briefs, or what LITTLE of him came out of them briefs, I didn't know whether I should crack up laughing or ask him was there a problem! :jawdrop: He got jipped BIG-TIME! I chose laughing-casually of course. In fact I casually laughed all the time I was putting my **** back on. :nono: I told Larry, our friendship was way too cool and rare for me to be pissed off and him not to even bother proving me wrong. Any other man probably would have tripped and maybe, Larry did when he left. But he didn't show it. He just laughed, too. We still hella tight 'til this day-I'm glad, too. He all right. Found him a virgin and married her-they happy. I just keep praying she don't ever have nobody else, so homegirl can appriciate ALL of the man she got! Now.
****, I'm just jumping from one thang to the next, huh? I guess I am still buzzing from the drink. I am still hoping Mr. Freeman is Mr.Do Me Right instead of my familiar Mr. I'ma Do You, All right. I don't know if I'm begging or if this is prayer, but if it's begging, I ain't too proud and if it's prayer, then Amen.:heart:
Keep You Posted
Me
Hey You-
****, it's been Two months Two weeks and Two days....that's a lot of too much time, I've not come to you with my perils and basically, it's been same ****, different **** day! N T way today is different. Well, to night anywayz. As usual, I arose this morning to the all so, familiar realization of pressing the snooze bar one time too many; having yet again to pull my **** together just enough to perform that human life sacrafice, America calls going to work. I was so gotdamn happy to see 5:15p which was exactly the time I sat down at my second place of residency. You know, the bar stool at Adeline's Alley. God Bless Lady Adeline, whoever she is, was and moreso for her alley being right up mine! N T way, typical Friday night, right? Un unnnnh, gurl. See, I ordered my usual 3 in 1 round, a tequila gold straight up and two Kamakazees to make sure I get there quick. Well, I had me a designated driver, cuz when the bartender brought mine back, he said it was all paid for by the gentleman, who had excused himself to the restroom. Now, you know what I'm thinking, right? '****, just what I need, another dateless muthaf*&%a who is either too drunk to make it home to his wife and f*%k her or trying to get me too drunk so I just will free f*%k for a few drinks. Hell naw!' So, I just kissed my drinks up to the sky, giving hone to code3:section1 of the alcoholic manual....you know "Free **** always seems to taste better!" My favorite code I might add, and then dammmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnn! THERE HE WAS!
Darrence B. Freeman! At least, that's what he say his name is. He was standing there in plain slang, fine as sweet plum wine. Somebody turn me in on a warrant, mandatory life sentence, no need for nobody's parole. I'm IN LOVE!
:love: He's 38, six years my elder which is cool, a lil' on the dark side, which is perfect, since chocolate always been my favorite flavor. He was standing there, over 6ft, which you know is a requirement of all my men. Eyes and lips and smooooooooooth skin and ummm, uuuummmm, ummmmm is the words I can only use to decribe and oooooooohhhhhhh and aaaaaahhhhh, and yyyyyeeeeaaaahhhhh....for future reference.
N T way, we sat and talked and laughed and drank some **** up. :toast: All paid for by Mr.Freeman, if I might add. I was so happy to have finally met a man who ain't worried about limiting his expenditures 'cuz HE done had enough to drink. Which reallly means:
Translation 1: Time to hit her house, my house or the Holiday Inn
Or
Translation 2: ****, this b*tch is breaking me! She got to pay for her own drinks.
N T way, when he pulled out his wallet, think I didn't look? Asked him to see his driver's license . How else was I gonna see how fat the wallet was, how many credit cards, baby mommmas, or babies from baby momma's pictures...you know, the wallet is a man's diary! Tells it all! Surprisingly, all those good looks came with all that good legal tender he was sporting. He told me he worked for Nebrix ( whateva the hell that is). His position is a Compound Support Modifier ( whateva the hell that does). He said he was tranferred from some place in Wisconsin to California. He'd only been here for about 6 weeks and ain't seen ****. ****, if I knew they was raising them up like that in Wisconsin, a sistah would've been traveling there on vacation! I sure could get use to waking up early, skipping the snooze bar, anticipating looking at at him some more. Well, he definitely got him a tour guide, even if it's just my body he need guidance touring;)
I know, I know, I said after Curtis, that no good mutha.....I still read my journal entries spanning over one year, eight months of my wasted life with him. That bull**** moves me more on the toilet than Jet magazine. I think about how naive I was back then. Between him with his three kids ( children I'd say, but they act like goats, so kids is actually more precise) his three crazy *** baby mommas; either calling MY house, coming over trying to jump on him, so he could whup they ***** some more:argue: or serve him child support drama, cuz they knew he didn't have no job to get child support papers. Me, I'm steady working, sometimes overtime. Buying groceries, I got the return checks to prove I done bought, never having no food! 'Cept when they was back on the grocery list...nerve! Feeding and F*%king that fool for FREE! All along, I'm doing this **** 'cuz I feel sorry for his sorryass and he ain't doing nothin', but pulling out the sports section from the daily newspaper! Classifieds neatly, always in place, untouched. Eating-Sleeping-and Playing Married that Robbing Hood Muthaf*%ka . I only wish when he left me that his newest baby momma, #4, he would of taken that Clymydia, he left me, too:flame: . Men ain't ****! Sometimes I wanna tear those entries out and just wipe with them.
N T way, enough on reminiscing on decomposed dilemmas. Good bye and good riddins for Brother Curtis. I need my mind fertile for Darrence. Shoot, talking 'bout Curtis almost got my buzz down. ::cuss: But, that Mr. Freeman, that smile, um. That tailored classy suit, that was wearing him, um, um. That converstation I rarely enjoy these days witht the opposite sex or the gentlemanly escort in his midnight blue, Lexus sports coupe! to my raggedy *** bucket of a vehicle (that's alright though, Betty get me round!). Please oh please don't let him be the typical Mr. Wrong For Me and Please oh please let him be goood in bed!
-------------------Oh, OH. :uhoh: There I went. Knowing my sex card is invalid. Said I was gonna hold out for making love. Well, I'm sorry. A sistah can't help if I done already thought about how it would, should and could be. I deserve to be a bit anxious. I ain't had none, none worth documenting for about 9mos. You know that's good for me. Straight up, that's how I like my drinks and my men and I ain't even gonna front. I want him and I want him too be good! I listen to all that whoooride propaganda. All that "It ain't the vehicle, it's the driver". That ain't been proven to me yet! You remember when I use to date William.
Big Billy Boy! Let's just say, he was blessed with one of them 1970 loooooongated, big hard body vehicles. I guess his **** musta didn't come with no cruise control, no power steering. I would be sore for at least a week. 'Den here he come want to go driving on another joyride. At my door all pretty ebony shining with a full tank of gas. I had to trade him in quickly! I couldn't afford the damage! He was doing four/five much!
Then there was the, shall we say LESS fortunate. Lawerence, aka Little Larry. Well, one night he called and wanted to come by, drink a little wine, watch a little cable. You know, casual, usual Larry stuff. N T way, he always would be throwing me play about hooking up, but 'den you know we been knowing each other since, his momma use to press my hair in her kitchen. Him crackin' up when I got my ear burned from moving too much, you know we was more like brother and sister. To me anywayz. I valued the friendship more. Ain't too many friendships that last over 15-20 years. Plus, you know how it be different once you slept with a friend-NO MORE FRIEND. I never could understand that. Must be the Venus-Mars thang.
N T way, Larry was alll on me this night. We was creepin' way back into the good times. We was sippin' Merlot and laughing and the television was stuck on one of them video shows with just love songs-you know, Luther, and Will, and Sade. 'Den, before I knew it, wine glass #4. Now, I don't know if it was the music, Larry or the wine. But he started kissing me, and ooooooowwwwwhhhhhewwww chile, I was kissing him back! We was all goofy and silly. Like we was sneaking in our parents house. We knew neither one of us was a virgin. So one thang, led to another. A kiss here, a touch there, a stroke here, a suck there. Then clothes coming off everywhere:eek: !
Now, when Larry came out of them briefs, or what LITTLE of him came out of them briefs, I didn't know whether I should crack up laughing or ask him was there a problem! :jawdrop: He got jipped BIG-TIME! I chose laughing-casually of course. In fact I casually laughed all the time I was putting my **** back on. :nono: I told Larry, our friendship was way too cool and rare for me to be pissed off and him not to even bother proving me wrong. Any other man probably would have tripped and maybe, Larry did when he left. But he didn't show it. He just laughed, too. We still hella tight 'til this day-I'm glad, too. He all right. Found him a virgin and married her-they happy. I just keep praying she don't ever have nobody else, so homegirl can appriciate ALL of the man she got! Now.
****, I'm just jumping from one thang to the next, huh? I guess I am still buzzing from the drink. I am still hoping Mr. Freeman is Mr.Do Me Right instead of my familiar Mr. I'ma Do You, All right. I don't know if I'm begging or if this is prayer, but if it's begging, I ain't too proud and if it's prayer, then Amen.:heart:
Keep You Posted
Me