Should you or should you not
sleep with your ex after the
relationship is over?? Some feel
after being with one person for
so long it's hard to move on.
Please give me some feedback
and let me know what you think.

I feel your question only to well.

My opinion on this topic is

It would be great if the answer to your question could be simple, but it's not, at least not from my perspective. There are so many issues to be address in a "just kicking it" relationship with a past lover.

Are there other persons involved?(wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend)

Is there an understanding between BOTH parties, that we just kicking it?

Are there children involved that would be witnessing this behavior?

Is this a unconscious last chance/act of hope to regain the love of your lover?

Finally, Ask yourself, how you feel after you have sex? Is it a good feeling, not physically, but mentally and in your heart?

Speaking with some expericence...It only prolongs the funeral and mourning process which slows the recovery of a failed relationship.

Sometimes we hold on to what's comfortable in the sense of being familiar. In some cases it's unwholesome and some receive emotional wounds.

I think this is a good topic. I'm surprised more people haven't posted to it......I would think many who have been in relationships that ended, has looked down this road or even crossed it.

Madd Sistahly Love:heart:
CCBSKYN

Sexe1, I'm a little confused here, what kind of relationship did
you or do you have. If the relationship is over, then it's over.
No more hoochie koochie.

Who's foolin who. Yes! It's hard to move on after much time invested. some people never move very far. But you must do
what is best for you, after you ( DECIDE) what it is you want to do. Thinking of you.

some do have sex after a break up
but at the same time u shouldn't
coz once its ova then its ova !
let go walk away we all know life just not
that easy and we find some men going back
to her for relations but she also willingly open
to is offer..........the answer u seek is within
u only what u feel and ya heart say even sometime
our heart be wrong!

Well I say go by UR heart, I have not gone back after a break-up, but if I want 2 I will no matter how anyone thinks, it's my life so I do what makes me happy. Well I have been happy thus far, but I will not say I would neva do it. If we left as friends and the luv was that awsome, I would stay until I found another. Because if we did it again Or not seeing him with someone else would be the same, meaning I would have the same feelings about him whether we slept togehter or not. Breaking -up is so hard 2 do:confused:

indeed it is but sometime it's for da best
ya heart and feelings will guide ya feet
so i'm told !

You are totally correct, I feel it is up to your heart and most of all guidance form the Lord. I believe there is someone for everyone in the world and your heart will guide you to your love. A God given lover is the best lover of all times.

yes ........surely god has his way to mate two whom hold pure
love in heart

Some geographical locations makes it very difficult to find your love , I must admit. Cali. is full of drama along with a fast life. Mates must be really strong to survive here, there is so much temptation on both sides. I guess anywhere for that matter, but ususally I have seen couples who move to Cali.'s fast life style, they soon break up if they are not use to California. It seems to be a fast life some are not use to. You meet celeb's a lot any way the life style warrants terrible temtpations.

a "piner". Oh, this sustuh could sang the blues.... After a break up I was a mess. Very vulnerable to the slightest hint of a reconciliation. I found in order to be strong and move on, developing an "attitude", or being angry helped me. This was and is something I noticed about myself during those dating years. If my heart was broken very badly, you could knock me over with a feather and get me to do anything to ease the pain and heartache. But if I thought about the wrongs and the humiliation, and got angry enough, there was NO going back. I developed a little pride about myself, even though it might have been false. It helped.

It helps to this day.

I believe if you are in a loving, long-term, committed relationship when things go wrong; this kind is worthy of working things through to resolution. There's probably more at stake. There should be.

If you've been in an up and down, off and on, sometimes friends, sometimes lovers, and in essence unfulfilling nowhere relationship when things finally snap.... cut and run. Playing around with that sex thang only keeps you in it, complete with the same old emotional baggage, for no good reason. No matter what label you place on your "thing" with this "ex".... it's never good to sex the ex. Only one of you will move on...and it's usually the male who can find someone new, and continue to "do" you, too. Cain't no woman tell me that in her heart of hearts, she's going to remain "cool" with that arrangement.

Let it go.

My humble opinion.

a

PS Abisha...I've lived in Cali for many years; I've heard this same thing you're saying about how hard it is to maintain out here....perhaps I'm not vulnerable because I already know it's plastic...:)

How well I know about that "grow up" point. :) Kemet, well said.

a

I love life too much too cheat on the I love, I know it may sound crazy but if my lover cheats ( I hope he would not) but my grandmother always told me 2 wrongs can not make a right. When your married if you want to keep it together, I say pray and not get jealous of the other woman if there is one, but to go about your own life, go to school buy your home take care of the children and if you find your self together( praise the Lord!!) I don't beleive in restraints it's too much like a prison, I don't beleive in checking up on a man either , if I don't trust him I won't be with him. Love is a crazy thing to explain and the wrong moves can get you away from the love that was intended for your life.:devil: Paranoia and checking on your mate only lets them know (hey I don't trust you) sometimes that will make a person feel like a prisoner and want to escape, but total trust in your mate will make them feel like what do I have to escape from?:angel: Unconditional love will keep it together with lots of prayer!

This is a very good question to discuss and it's answer is according to who you ask. However, if we consult God, we will find that He is totally against fornication and adultery. So sexing yo ex is definitely out of the question if you're asking Him. You can pray all you want too, but He will not give you an answer contrary to His word :nono: just to make you FEEL good.

And in my humble opinion...I can't think of anyone who can give better advice than what God has already given on this heavily practiced sin.

1Co 7:2 -
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

I have known people to break up after 10 years and end up back together for life. I think it depends on the individual and what that individual needs in their life at that time. I am not saying be selfish, but if you feel you need your X as a freind or more , you never know that special someone just may be you r X

yeah! in some cases yet sometime ya X can be yo mightmare
or stop u from movin on .........just a set back but i know of a
few that made it work after a break up.

Some people go to relatives and counselors and preachers, Honestly I say go to God and it depends on the feelings you have about the sittuation inside of you. Know one else can feel the feelings you felt when invovled with your X, therefore they can not adequatley tell you what to do, all others can do is alert yu of what happend in thier life or you can see what happened to someone els's life. no matter how similar the situations may seem your life is you r own and your experiences are unique, you have unique circumstances. A relation is not like an illiness that a doctor can diagnose, Or there is no set instructions , like if you do this that will happen, nothing is for sure but God. I say go by the feeling you get inside.:kiss: I agree with yoiu $$RICH$$

I have a couple of friends whose marriage is better...after the SECOND go round. :spin: Re marriage can certainly be a better thang.
That's a lot better than fornicating.
God is definitely the best advice giver. I never go to counselors or preachers either (not sayin' it's a bad ideal though for some). His word is so awesome, that I don't even go by what's in my heart if it's contrary to what's written in His word. The heart can be a deceitful thing sometimes,
(Jeremiah 17:9...the heart is deceitful above all things...) especially when it comes to relationships. I have been guilty in of ignoring God's word concerning the way I handled or behaved in past relationships and paid dearly for it. :bawling:

Proverbs 3
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. :)


So when it comes down to it. The choice is ours as are the consequences. With all the things that we all have to deal with in our own lives, we should NEVER judge anyone according to their decisions, but instead examine ourselves and continue to be a loving friend to those in need of one. Life is hard enuff...ain't it. :)

da truth of da matter is ask GOD and truely ya answer will come
to thought i think Joyce showed da reality of it ....
some thing we just can't answer but GOD knows all

Originally posted by sexe1
Should you or should you not
sleep with your ex after the
relationship is over?? Some feel
after being with one person for
so long it's hard to move on.
Please give me some feedback
and let me know what you think.


If your "sleeping" with the other party, than the relationship isn't over. Period.

Why would anyone want to be considered a "booty call?"

If ur sleepin with ur ex, then that whole situation explains why u broke up in the first place. In doing that, it means that u want thier body more than u want thier mind, like u dont wanna be together if ur not in bed.