Dear Sister Destee,

I'm interracially married (my husband is white). In view of your response to a recent poster who posted on the topic of interracial relationships in which you pointed out that IRs are not promoted here, I would like to know whether people like me are welcome here? If so, how you would suggest I handle my IR situation here because it's bound to come up. I would not want anyone to think I'm promoting anything, but neither is my relationship a secret. If not, I will promptly leave.

I do understand the sentiments of many posters to the site about IRs. I understand how they feel because for many years, I felt the same way. I have since come to realize that my marriage is neither a sin, shame, nor a crime.

Your site is wonderful, has awesome potential, and I have ideas to share (I am an activist), however, if you can foresee that my presence would be disruptive here, I will promptly leave. Please let me know.

Of course IRs are welcolm here. Your IR is not the issue at all on this site. However, at the same time, there may be post or threads that speak to or address the issues of white men, women or people in regard to our reality in terms of how we may see it, or what we are going through. The question becomes in light of this, "what is your level of sensitivity" when someone is speaking on the devilish deeds of white men and women individually or collectively?

Obviously no one here would want to or would try to speak on issues regarding IRs or some of the realities concerning them in terms of trying to make them work because that is not what we are about. Having said that, please allow me to welcome you to the site and I look forward to reading some of your post.

Dear Sister Destee,

I'm interracially married (my husband is white). In view of your response to a recent poster who posted on the topic of interracial relationships in which you pointed out that IRs are not promoted here, I would like to know whether people like me are welcome here? If so, how you would suggest I handle my IR situation here because it's bound to come up. I would not want anyone to think I'm promoting anything, but neither is my relationship a secret. If not, I will promptly leave.

I do understand the sentiments of many posters to the site about IRs. I understand how they feel because for many years, I felt the same way. I have since come to realize that my marriage is neither a sin, shame, nor a crime.

Your site is wonderful, has awesome potential, and I have ideas to share (I am an activist), however, if you can foresee that my presence would be disruptive here, I will promptly leave. Please let me know.

Sister Mayn ... hello and welcome ... :wave:

Knowing that you are at a site that promotes Black People loving each other, and not much else, and you're still interested in being here ... even after telling us you have a white husband ... then you are most certainly welcome.

I'm not able to tell you how to handle your IR, in the context of these discussions, or any other way. I have absolutely no experience in such. Perhaps doing what you always do, will work here too? Just know what kind of site we are, and don't be surprised (or hurt) when you read posts promoting and supporting Black Love ... and some even discouraging IR.

If you can deal with us, we can deal with you ... :love:

If in the course of being here, you find it too challenging, you may want to visit a site that promotes and embraces IR. I believe there are quite a few on the Internet, and you may be more comfortable there, as you will be surrounded by like-minded individuals.

I'm glad you like the site, and i look forward to all you have to share with us.

I hope i've answered your questions. If not, let me know.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee

Will see how nice everyone is once you see an IR thread and state your husband is white I know the real outcome...

Sister Mayn ... hello and welcome ... :wave:

Knowing that you are at a site that promotes Black People loving each other, and not much else, and you're still interested in being here ... even after telling us you have a white husband ... then you are most certainly welcome.

I'm not able to tell you how to handle your IR, in the context of these discussions, or any other way. I have absolutely no experience in such. Perhaps doing what you always do, will work here too? Just know what kind of site we are, and don't be surprised (or hurt) when you read posts promoting and supporting Black Love ... and some even discouraging IR.

If you can deal with us, we can deal with you ... :love:

If in the course of being here, you find it too challenging, you may want to visit a site that promotes and embraces IR. I believe there are quite a few on the Internet, and you may be more comfortable there, as you will be surrounded by like-minded individuals.

I'm glad you like the site, and i look forward to all you have to share with us.

I hope i've answered your questions. If not, let me know.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee

Sister Destee, thank you for your warm welcome!! I've really enjoyed my brief time here because y'all are talking about the issues that impact my life and the lives of my children and our folks. Whether a Black person is married to a white person or any other non-Black person, we are still Black. The same issues that hit you in the face every day hit me too.

I don't feel uncomfortable or hurt at all re talk about issues of white supremacy. It is a reality. My husband and I talk about it quite frequently.

So once again--Thank you.:luvv:

Sister Destee, thank you for your warm welcome!! I've really enjoyed my brief time here because y'all are talking about the issues that impact my life and the lives of my children and our folks. Whether a Black person is married to a white person or any other non-Black person, we are still Black. The same issues that hit you in the face every day hit me too.

I don't feel uncomfortable or hurt at all re talk about issues of white supremacy. It is a reality. My husband and I talk about it quite frequently.

So once again--Thank you.:luvv:

Sister Mayn ... you're very welcome.

Please continue to make yourself at home.

:heart:

Destee

Of course IRs are welcolm here. Your IR is not the issue at all on this site. However, at the same time, there may be post or threads that speak to or address the issues of white men, women or people in regard to our reality in terms of how we may see it, or what we are going through. The question becomes in light of this, "what is your level of sensitivity" when someone is speaking on the devilish deeds of white men and women individually or collectively?

Obviously no one here would want to or would try to speak on issues regarding IRs or some of the realities concerning them in terms of trying to make them work because that is not what we are about. Having said that, please allow me to welcome you to the site and I look forward to reading some of your post.

I thank you for your welcome!! I've read some of your views and agree with much of what I read.

White people have committed unspeakable crimes against Black people and continue to do so. Those are facts. I'm not sensitive about discussions about that at all. My husband however is an individual who did none of those things. He does reap some of the benefits of white privilege because he is white, however, there is nothing he can do to change that because he can't help who he is genetically.

I hope you can understand that I am much more than my interracial relationship. I'm a woman, a person in my own right and hope I can be treated as such here. My husband just happens to be my mate.

Will see how nice everyone is once you see an IR thread and state your husband is white I know the real outcome...

Wll, thank you for the "heads up."

The only reason I stated upfront my husband is white is because I wanted to find out whether it's against the rules here or might it cause disruptions. Sister Destee obviously doesn't feel that either is the case.

I think IRs get a bad reputation because "some" people in them are in them for the wrong reasons. That means also that some people are not. The reality is that a Black woman in a marriage with a white man are just a married couple--nothing more or less--and I hope that others will regard my marriage as they would any other one.

Wll, thank you for the "heads up."

The only reason I stated upfront my husband is white is because I wanted to find out whether it's against the rules here or might it cause disruptions. Sister Destee obviously doesn't feel that either is the case.

Sister Mayn ... you stated it upfront because you wanted to find out basically, how it would be received ... but i remember Sister Karmashines saying she invited you here, and had given you some jist of how you'd be received prior to coming. I can respect if you wanted to hear it from me, that's fine, but didn't you already have some insight regarding these things?

I didn't say it might not cause a disruption. Such has happened before. If it does, we'll deal with it accordingly.


I think IRs get a bad reputation because "some" people in them are in them for the wrong reasons. That means also that some people are not. The reality is that a Black woman in a marriage with a white man are just a married couple--nothing more or less--and I hope that others will regard my marriage as they would any other one.

Sister Mayn ... is there a way to recognize, without asking a person, if they're in an IR for the wrong reason or not? I mean, can't everyone say they're in it for the right reason, and we'd be obligated to take their word for it? I've never heard anyone in an IR, say they were in it for any other reason, than love.

I must say, i do not regard IR the same as i do Black / Black relationships. I just don't want you to set your expectations too high, though i'm sure some will agree with your assessment.

Sister Mayn ... tell me if you don't mind, why would you prefer a community such as ours, over one that embraces and promotes IR dating and marriage? I think if i were in such a union, i would want to be around people that thought fondly of my choices. I mean, you know, kinda gravitating naturally toward those that are most like you. Any insight on this would be much appreciated.

:heart:

Destee

Sister Mayn ... you stated it upfront because you wanted to find out basically, how it would be received ... but i remember Sister Karmashines saying she invited you here, and had given you some jist of how you'd be received prior to coming. I can respect if you wanted to hear it from me, that's fine, but didn't you already have some insight regarding these things?

I didn't say it might not cause a disruption. Such has happened before. If it does, we'll deal with it accordingly.




Sister Mayn ... is there a way to recognize, without asking a person, if they're in an IR for the wrong reason or not? I mean, can't everyone say they're in it for the right reason, and we'd be obligated to take their word for it? I've never heard anyone in an IR, say they were in it for any other reason, than love.

I must say, i do not regard IR the same as i do Black / Black relationships. I just don't want you to set your expectations too high, though i'm sure some will agree with your assessment.

Sister Mayn ... tell me if you don't mind, why would you prefer a community such as ours, over one that embraces and promotes IR dating and marriage? I think if i were in such a union, i would want to be around people that thought fondly of my choices. I mean, you know, kinda gravitating naturally toward those that are most like you. Any insight on this would be much appreciated.

:heart:

Destee

Yes, Sis Karmashines spoke to me about the possibility of some people not understanding my relationship, but you're the head here and in my experience, people tend to follow the head. Therefore, I believe in going directly to the head, though I've observed you're not an authoritarian.

There is no defintive way of determining whether people in IRs are in them for the right reason, but I make it a rule to not pay attention to what people say, but to watch what they do. For ex, if a Black man or woman proclaims they make it a practice to only date white or other non-Black, then to me that's obviously a red flag. Or I've met many Black people who make disparaging comments about Black people, cut whites a lot of slack and then make it a point to surround themselves with whites. Or I've been around Black men who love playing with their white girlfriend's hair or Black men who admit they love long straight hair or Black women who outright say they want to have a child by a non-Black man so that the child will have light skin. These are all obvious red flags to anyone, I would think.

Re your not seeing my BF-WM relationship the same as a BF-BM, relationship, I can understand that because I felt the same way. Having been in both types of relationships, 99% of the time, it's the same. I was looking for differences because I was raised down in the deep South (Alabama) and I experienced JIM CROW. I never learned to hate, but I've always been and still am very wary of white people, in general.

As to why I'm in this community vs one where there are many IRs, it's because I'm a Black woman. I go to a Black church. All of my friends and family members are Black. My children are Black. I look Black. I sound Black. I have a Black aesthetic. My culture is Black. Black people are MY people. I go through the same things other Black people go through on a day to day basis. I think Black about survival issues the way I think Black folks ought to be thinking. My destiny is intertwined with Black people. I know it may be difficult to understand that my interracial marriage is not the sum total of me, far from it. I'm not sure if that's what you're asking.

I don't know what Black people or others talk about on an IR board. Do they constantly talk about their IR relationship? That's not for me because as I said, I am much more than my IR relationship. I am multi-dimensional. I do many things. I don't define myself by my mate. If you were to ask me who I am, I could talk for days and not mention him.

So as far as I'm concerned, I am just like you. We are two Black women who care deeply for our people. I don't consider any other Black person any "Blacker" than I am in terms of our mindset on Black issues. As a matter of fact, my friends call me "Miss Black" because I'm always the one who moves Black issues to the forefront in any discussion. This is who I am and this is how I see myself.

Hope this helps you to see me more clearly.

Yes, Sis Karmashines spoke to me about the possibility of some people not understanding my relationship, but you're the head here and in my experience, people tend to follow the head. Therefore, I believe in going directly to the head, though I've observed you're not an authoritarian.

There is no defintive way of determining whether people in IRs are in them for the right reason, but I make it a rule to not pay attention to what people say, but to watch what they do. For ex, if a Black man or woman proclaims they make it a practice to only date white or other non-Black, then to me that's obviously a red flag. Or I've met many Black people who make disparaging comments about Black people, cut whites a lot of slack and then make it a point to surround themselves with whites. Or I've been around Black men who love playing with their white girlfriend's hair or Black men who admit they love long straight hair or Black women who outright say they want to have a child by a non-Black man so that the child will have light skin. These are all obvious red flags to anyone, I would think.

Re your not seeing my BF-WM relationship the same as a BF-BM, relationship, I can understand that because I felt the same way. Having been in both types of relationships, 99% of the time, it's the same. I was looking for differences because I was raised down in the deep South (Alabama) and I experienced JIM CROW. I never learned to hate, but I've always been and still am very wary of white people, in general.

As to why I'm in this community vs one where there are many IRs, it's because I'm a Black woman. I go to a Black church. All of my friends and family members are Black. My children are Black. I look Black. I sound Black. I have a Black aesthetic. My culture is Black. Black people are MY people. I go through the same things other Black people go through on a day to day basis. I think Black about survival issues the way I think Black folks ought to be thinking. My destiny is intertwined with Black people. I know it may be difficult to understand that my interracial marriage is not the sum total of me, far from it. I'm not sure if that's what you're asking.

I don't know what Black people or others talk about on an IR board. Do they constantly talk about their IR relationship? That's not for me because as I said, I am much more than my IR relationship. I am multi-dimensional. I do many things. I don't define myself by my mate. If you were to ask me who I am, I could talk for days and not mention him.

So as far as I'm concerned, I am just like you. We are two Black women who care deeply for our people. I don't consider any other Black person any "Blacker" than I am in terms of our mindset on Black issues. As a matter of fact, my friends call me "Miss Black" because I'm always the one who moves Black issues to the forefront in any discussion. This is who I am and this is how I see myself.

Hope this helps you to see me more clearly.

Sister Mayn ... thanks for your response. You say above that you are very wary of white people in general, yet you sleep with one, letting him inside your body. How do you reconcile this?

I'm sure your IR is not the sum total of you, but you walked in the door presenting it, rather than any other part of yourself. You have essentially defined your own self to us, by your IR, and now you're suggesting it's a negligible part of you. These are mixed messages.

I'm glad to read that you want more than IR discussions, as i have grown weary of them in general.

Again, thanks for your response.

:heart:

Destee

Sister Mayn ... thanks for your response. You say above that you are very wary of white people in general, yet you sleep with one, letting him inside your body. How do you reconcile this?

I'm sure your IR is not the sum total of you, but you walked in the door presenting it, rather than any other part of yourself. You have essentially defined your own self to us, by your IR, and now you're suggesting it's a negligible part of you. These are mixed messages.

I'm glad to read that you want more than IR discussions, as i have grown weary of them in general.

Again, thanks for your response.

:heart:




Destee

Sister Destee, I hate what the white system does to Black people. I hate the actions of a system. I don’t hate all the individuals in their group because I realize that all of them are not perpetrators. Since I don’t know all of the precise individuals among them perpetrating the system, I have generalized white people to all be a threat and been wary of them in general until individual ones of them prove they are not actual perpetrators or supportive of perpetrators.

My husband proved to my satisfaction by the losses he’s taken for his actions in support of promoting the interests of Black people, fighting on the right side of the issues that impact us, as well as by his continuing support of these interests, that he was not one of the perpetrators. People who promote my interests can become my friends. He became my friend as well as my husband.

I told you about my IR marriage because I’m not a duplicitous person. Since I knew there could be some objection to my participation in the community, I didn’t want my IR marriage to come out later on and have anyone accuse me of keeping it secret in order to be welcomed into your community. That would have been dishonest. Since I’m an activist, at some point down the road, it’s possible that some of us could conceivably meet and at that time, my spouse could be revealed and anger and distrust would be the result.

Hope this clarifies.

Hello Mayn,

As a "Black" man who is still struggling to find himself, I doubt that I could be your judge. I would welcome you, but I don't know if I could even call this my home yet. All I want to do is get to know and love my own people.

I thought it was awful honest and courageous to state the nature of your relationship upfront. Now, I want to state my take on this, the thing is that we are a mixed race people anyway. We are mixed with European, American Indian, etc. blood. It's just that we are one culture. We have entered a time in history where, we no longer have to worry so much about physical genocide. But it's that mental one that is killing us. The one where we can't see worth among members of our own culture.

Right now, we are in a war and we seem to be losing. We have "Black" folks who are ready to kill each other over a dollar. We have folks who write news columns and books denouncing our women, our children, and our men who can't seem to stay out of trouble. We have more and more "Black" people, who just can't seem to understand that we aren't exceptionally good or exceptionally bad. We are merely people responding to the treatment we have experiences for decades and centuries.

In this climate of self-hate to the extreme, more "Black" people join with "White" supremacy in comdemning our culture in every way, shape, and form. And I think we have gotten to the point where we have begun to fight back.

I can only hope and pray that in this fight, we don't become so narrowly focused that we dismiss "Black" folks who just happen to be in an IRR. As you said, behavior/beliefs will betray a person. That person may be in a IRR. But they also may not.

We need to focus on those who stand for African-American Culture. That is what this is all about.

Thanks for posting.

if it is hard and crusty like a rhinoceros you will be OK.
i have been around IR much of my life as my mother married a white man. i have had as many white women as black.

i have become quite afrocentric in my old age and i do not currently promote IR. see, the key word is promote.
i take people as i find them and work from that point. there may be some who go all rabid on U when they hear about your situation.

can U handle that?

Kamashimes has weathered some assaults and still seems to be in one piece. if you black at heart i welcome you.
no problem.

Mayn:

You've made your views on IRs well known, so I'm looking forward to your thoughts on black activism. Thus far your primary focus seems to be on getting the black community to be more accepting of those blacks who happen to be in IRs.....Looking forward to your proving me wrong!

Look, it's obvious this topic causes a lot of controversey HERE. Even if some of us don't like it doesn't mean that we have to be confronted all the time by other person's opinions that go against that.

Yes, it is obviously going to be emotional to some people... that is to be expected. Perhaps those who responded too emotionally at one point did so because they felt that they just wanted their OPINIONS argued and not the personal life. Would you really want to argue with someone that is saying "well, you're in an IR", or "you have a biracial child" as if that's the only reason why one might have that opinion? What if someone used that approach saying your spouse or child... wouldn't it be hard to resist that?

I did give an intro for Mayn and I told her here and in private how the site feels... I tried to do as much as I felt I could to let the board know peacefully that this member, who I felt had a lot to share is coming onboard. Some may call such a response too reactive or too emotional... but if I didn't disclose it at all then if it came out later, then it still might cause disruptive thoughts that just aren't contributing to the community. That is the feeling that I had when I disclosed mine. I was mad later because nobody said anything the first time, which made me think perspectives that might be common to that are free to be shared. So when it comes up again, when sometimes I only said it once, it's hard not to at least feel frustrated at what I feel I can say while still giving my opinion and respecting everyone's views. Y'all should know by now that I like to debate and it's hard to resist that, especially if people keep pressing me for my opinion where I would think my presence here should dictate where I might stand, which could be contradictory. Why are you going to argue with someone that might push your buttons the wrong way? Too much of that, when one feels they are trying to keep peace causes them to want to debate against anything talking about that, even if they didn't even initially care to begin with.

At least trust that if we're bold enough to go and STAY in a community and try to participate as peacefully as we can, we must feel for the objectives here, even if we aren't living entirely by it by other people's eyes. Really, my philosophy is if it's going to cause too many problems don't talk about it... as long as others don't talk about it too, then why would there be a problem? I know for me I don't need an outside opinion on EVERYTHING, but I do need it on a lot of things, especially issues I'm not as knowledgeable of, such as the spiritual and activist goals of the site. It is not worth missing the overall objective for IR, one subject that has been harped on to the bone.

I do know that some boards have threads dedicated to where members introduce themselves. Perhaps that is something Destee and the management can consider if it's not already in place. That would be a formally established place where if a member feels a little different, they can give their background in a way that is "quiet." They just state that although their position is different, they still respect the goals of the site.

With that being said, I want to talk about black issues. If someone wants to assume on relationship threads or whatever, that I'm talking IR just beause of my relationship, I can't help them... but if they do it in a way they may know will push my buttons just asking for a response, I will debate back respectfully. Please assume when talking about black issues, unless there are comments in the thread by other members, or a direct question to me, that I'm talking about black issues, along with Mayn, the member I referred. Basically, unless given a reason STATED IMPLICITLY by one of us, respond to us like you would any other member.

Hello Mayn,

As a "Black" man who is still struggling to find himself, I doubt that I could be your judge. I would welcome you, but I don't know if I could even call this my home yet. All I want to do is get to know and love my own people.

I thought it was awful honest and courageous to state the nature of your relationship upfront. Now, I want to state my take on this, the thing is that we are a mixed race people anyway. We are mixed with European, American Indian, etc. blood. It's just that we are one culture. We have entered a time in history where, we no longer have to worry so much about physical genocide. But it's that mental one that is killing us. The one where we can't see worth among members of our own culture.
Right now, we are in a war and we seem to be losing. We have "Black" folks who are ready to kill each other over a dollar. We have folks who write news columns and books denouncing our women, our children, and our men who can't seem to stay out of trouble. We have more and more "Black" people, who just can't seem to understand that we aren't exceptionally good or exceptionally bad. We are merely people responding to the treatment we have experiences for decades and centuries.
In this climate of self-hate to the extreme, more "Black" people join with "White" supremacy in comdemning our culture in every way, shape, and form. And I think we have gotten to the point where we have begun to fight back.

I can only hope and pray that in this fight, we don't become so narrowly focused that we dismiss "Black" folks who just happen to be in an IRR. As you said, behavior/beliefs will betray a person. That person may be in a IRR. But they also may not.

We need to focus on those who stand for African-American Culture. That is what this is all about.

Thanks for posting.

Honestly, there were points (bolded) you made here that floored me and my thoughts became incoherent. LOL--maybe, it's just too late for me to think straight. I dunno. So, at this time, I just want to thank you for responding. I would like the option of responding at a later time though to some of what you've said.

if it is hard and crusty like a rhinoceros you will be OK.
i have been around IR much of my life as my mother married a white man. i have had as many white women as black.

i have become quite afrocentric in my old age and i do not currently promote IR. see, the key word is promote.
i take people as i find them and work from that point. there may be some who go all rabid on U when they hear about your situation.

can U handle that?

Kamashimes has weathered some assaults and still seems to be in one piece. if you black at heart i welcome you.
no problem.

Thanks a lot for the welcome.

Whether I choose to "weather assaults" here that Sis Karmashines has survived will depend on whether I see the opportunity to achieve the goals that brought me here. I'm very goal-oriented. In any situation, if I begin to feel that I'm not meeting my goals, I begin to question my own involvement.

So time will tell.

Thanks a lot for the welcome.

Whether I choose to "weather assaults" here that Sis Karmashines has survived will depend on whether I see the opportunity to achieve the goals that brought me here. I'm very goal-oriented. In any situation, if I begin to feel that I'm not meeting my goals, I begin to question my own involvement.

So time will tell.


Of course you've never been quite clear about what those goals are...it would be nice to hear them....

Mayn:

You've made your views on IRs well known, so I'm looking forward to your thoughts on black activism. Thus far your primary focus seems to be on getting the black community to be more accepting of those blacks who happen to be in IRs.....Looking forward to your proving me wrong!

Notice that I've been asked about my IR views and this is why I responded. If no one asks me questions relating to my husband or IR, or if my IR situation is not relevant to the discussion as in the Beethoven thread, it wouldn't be brought up. At the same time, it's not a secret.

As to my activism, yes, I'm not only a talker--I'm a doer. As a matter of fact, I've grown tired of talking so much.

I presented 2 rather ambitious plans (major and minor)to Sis. Karmashines and one of them (a minor specialized one) to Bro. Isaiah. I contacted these two members because I saw their e-mail addresses in some of their posts and because they impressed me with their broadness. Both plans, however, take coordination and organization, and must be refined and customized. I have tested one of them (major one) on a small scale and it was successful. My goal is for either one or both of the plans to be implemented nationwide, however this would take a network of knowledgeable, resourceful, and committed people across the country. In scanning this board, I find many knowledgeable people here, but I don't know how committed they are. Time will tell.

I will not discuss the overall structure of these plans openly on the board because that would interfere with effectiveness. Also, I don't think it's wise to "put all of your business in the street."

Of course you've never been quite clear about what those goals are...it would be nice to hear them....

Patience Sis. I just got here. Folks are still trying to figure out whether they want me in the mix.

Also, I don't believe in putting blueprints on the internet. At such time when some of y'all and I feel comfortable about continuing our interaction, we will find a way to communicate in a less open manner.

As a matter of fact, my friends call me "Miss Black" because I'm always the one who moves Black issues to the forefront in any discussion. This is who I am and this is how I see myself.

Hope this helps you to see me more clearly.

This is "sadly humorous." With all due respect, I clearly see you as a walking oxy moron.

~I find it strange that while many publications abroad provide different lenses from which to view any given paradigm, the U.S. protects the PC, conservative, or whatever perspective that best benefits the ruling 1% at present (I'm speaking specifically of societal politricks, not the members here at this forum).

So, since the radical lens seems not to be an appendage of this particular camera, I humbly offer this:

Drawing the bull's eye around your arrow in attempts to substantiate your position does not make you accurate or precise.

I did give an intro for Mayn and I told her here and in private how the site feels... I tried to do as much as I felt I could to let the board know peacefully that this member, who I felt had a lot to share is coming onboard.

Y'all should know by now that I like to debate and it's hard to resist that, especially if people keep pressing me for my opinion where I would think my presence here should dictate where I might stand,

At least trust that if we're bold enough to go and STAY in a community and try to participate as peacefully as we can, we must feel for the objectives here,

With that being said, I want to talk about black issues. If someone wants to assume on relationship threads or whatever, that I'm talking IR just beause of my relationship, I can't help them...


Thank you for intro of me here. I hope it doesn't cause you more stress.

I'm not willing to engage in continuous debates about my personal life. This is why I wanted to take this opportunity to find out whether my presence would be disruptive before I interacted any more in this community.

Yes, my objectives are in sync with the site's objectives, but I'm not willing to use energy to fight to contribute because fighting is not a good use of my energy.

In relationship threads, if I mention my interaction with my significant other, there'll be little if any need to mention his race/group.

This is "sadly humorous." With all due respect, I clearly see you as a walking oxy moron.

~I find it strange that while many publications abroad provide different lenses from which to view any given paradigm, the U.S. protects the PC, conservative, or whatever perspective that best benefits the ruling 1% at present (I'm speaking specifically of societal politricks, not the members here at this forum).

So, since the radical lens seems not to be an appendage of this particular camera, I humbly offer this:

Drawing the bull's eye around your arrow in attempts to substantiate your position does not make you accurate or precise.

I didn't fully understand some of your comments but to what I think I understood, I'll just say that: there are rampant possibilities in life. That thought alone just makes me joyous to be alive and able to reach out and grab some of those possibilities. I love working with possibilities.

Unfortunately, many of us, focus only on the possibilities we've been taught to focus on. I struggle constantly to see more possibilities and to take advantage of them.

Notice that I've been asked about my IR views and this is why I responded. If no one asks me questions relating to my husband or IR, or if my IR situation is not relevant to the discussion as in the Beethoven thread, it wouldn't be brought up. At the same time, it's not a secret.

This is not true. You started this thread about your IR. No one asked you about it, and there was no relevant discussion currently taking place (in this thread). Yes, questions did come after you presented the topic, but you most certainly brought it up.


As to my activism, yes, I'm not only a talker--I'm a doer. As a matter of fact, I've grown tired of talking so much.

I presented 2 rather ambitious plans (major and minor)to Sis. Karmashines and one of them (a minor specialized one) to Bro. Isaiah. I contacted these two members because I saw their e-mail addresses in some of their posts and because they impressed me with their broadness.


I thought Sister Karmashines invited you here?

Now you say that you've been lurking around, noticed her and Brother Isaiah, and contacted them?

Which is it?


Both plans, however, take coordination and organization, and must be refined and customized. I have tested one of them (major one) on a small scale and it was successful. My goal is for either one or both of the plans to be implemented nationwide, however this would take a network of knowledgeable, resourceful, and committed people across the country. In scanning this board, I find many knowledgeable people here, but I don't know how committed they are. Time will tell.

I will not discuss the overall structure of these plans openly on the board because that would interfere with effectiveness. Also, I don't think it's wise to "put all of your business in the street."

Sister Mayn ... you have greatly under-estimated this community. We are not here for you to take notice of our greatness, and exploit it, in order to launch some secret plan of yours. I'm almost insulted. We don't even know you. It will take much more than a white husband and secret plan, to impress us.

In addition, we do everything out in the open. The fact that your plan requires private access to us, is reason for concern. If you can't put it on the table for all to see, we're not interested. Especially considering you are brand new here, giving nothing of substance, and expect us to get excited over some secret plan you have. This is foolishness at its best. I surely hope none in this Family would fall for such.


Patience Sis. I just got here. Folks are still trying to figure out whether they want me in the mix.

Also, I don't believe in putting blueprints on the internet. At such time when some of y'all and I feel comfortable about continuing our interaction, we will find a way to communicate in a less open manner.

I don't believe i want you in the mix. As i stated earlier, such discussions often prove disruptive to this community, because they are used as a means to keep our attention off of us, and onto others ... white people, or other people, that happen to sex Black people. This is disruptive because it takes us away from the goals of this site, and that is to focus on us, Black People. Notice how long we've been engaged in this discussion about you and your white man, that you initiated?

I realize each of us here, has an obligation to do our best to resist such attempts, but i have a greater obligation to insure that we have an environment that facilitates that. You make my job more difficult by bringing IR discussions here, thus making your presence / contribution, disruptive.

I really think its best that you go to an IR site, where you will find other Black people engaged in like behavior. You can then use their knowledge to launch your secret plan.

:heart:

Destee