My boyfriend's apartment is filthy! I admit, at times, my place can be slightly untidy, but his is disgusting. He makes excuses like he has such a hectic schedule, but when you have 7 layers of dirt on your carpet and ants in your bathroom which have now migrated to your bed, then "Houston, We have a problem!" I have tried to talk to him about this before and have even offered to help him clean it, but he is easily offended. Now, I anticipate this "weirdness" that will exist because if he has no interest in cleaning his place, then I have no interest in going to his place or even having him at mine... I mean, who wants foreign ants in their place. Yuck. Please Help.

Now that's nasty. Does he have roommates?

How about getting one of those carpet steamer services to shampoo the carpet in his place and not tell him about it. Leave a note that looks like it's from his landlord's maintenance person/department that says they did it.

But for real though, that is nasty.

I own a home by myself, and my crib stays so fresh and so clean, clean!

Yo man need to get his mind right.

Both of you are so right. He does need to get his mind right. I would feel embarassed to have someone in my space knowing that my surroundings also speak for me. We've been dating for 3 mos. now and he's a really good for dates, but a very sloppy housekeeper.

Both of you are so right. He does need to get his mind right. I would feel embarassed to have someone in my space knowing that my surroundings also speak for me. We've been dating for 3 mos. now and he's a really good for dates, but a very sloppy housekeeper.

Also girl a nasty house could mean a nasty *****!
I can understand a few dishes in the sink but dam ants in the bed!
He wouldn't get no booty let alone be with me.
Girl that's nasty, tell him mama said clean it up!!!!!!!!!!!:jam:

I can't stop laughing...:haha:

Let me stop..Whew! Every man falls somewhere between Felix Unger and Oscar Madison (The Odd Couple)...For those too young to remember it was a story to middle aged men that were room mates. One was a neat freak and the another one a slob. Anyway, no man will every have a woman's touch (well at least not a straight man) but men should at least be sanitary. As messy as things may get you must make time to clean up. Many times unfortunately this is a result of the type of upbringing a male child has. Quite often if male children are not given responsibilities such as house cleaning they never learn nor develop the initiative to do such. Also it is not good for parents to loose patience and do everything for the child. Men will grow up thinking everyone is suppose to do things for them. What you must realize is your man knows he's a slob and it's embarassing. His stubborn pride will not let him admit he needs help in this area... What you must do is take him by both hands, look him straight in the eyes and tell him you love him and you want to be with him and because of this you are willing to help him with this problem. Tell him it's not alright to live in filth be it will be alright if he let's you help him. If he is not willing to do this then tell him you can't come over and spend time with him nor will he be spending all his time with you over your house...The thing is you want him to open up to you and let you help him. In helping him you can't judge him or try to be his momma. Once he let's you into his world maybe you can come and help him on a regular schedule. In time what this will do is get him in the habit of cleaning and you won't have to help him anymore. Then if when you two get married he won't bring that disgusting habit to the marriage...Just remember to be gently and not judgemental because though he may not show it deep down he is truly ashamed of how he's living..


Peace......

Thank all of you for your wonderful responses. They reaffirmed what I already knew, and Radical Faith, you gave me some solid advice on what I need to do. Thank you!
Peace and Love!

yeah,who wants those foreign ants with thier broken english[smile]but seriously,how long have you been with this guy and isn't it a good thing you didn't elope with him?

I have tried to talk to him about this before and have even offered to help him clean it, but he is easily offended........
how can he be easily offended and not be offended by filth?
kick him to the curb and tell him why you did it.
move on.

I would be offended for leting a woman in a place like that
sound like your mate is just nasty and don't care which say
a lot , never too busy to clean up and keep your place you live clean
i'm with brother James , dump him it's indeed a problem yukkk!!!!!

Don't feel bad, The Specialist, I've seen folks wipe their dishes down with napkins, using no soap or water!! You need to make him clean it up......that is a serious health hazard..you can contract scabies. Yuck. He seems to have a mental block. Once his mind gets back right, all else will run smooth. Just guide him by showing an example of what cleanliness is.

Okay, this was tooooo funny. I am a neat freak so my husband and I have issues when it comes to cleaning house (he is a pack rat, and I believe if it aint got no purpose, get rid of it). But, if your honey has ants in his bed, then not only is that a nasty situation, but a little trifling too. Not to talk about your sweetie in a bad way, but just to let you know, this could be an indication of a future with this man.

My husband is by no means nasty, matter of fact he can clean better than most Woman I know, and he can mop the hell out of a tiled floor ( I hate mopping).

Just remember, you can learn a lot a persons habits and inconsistencies during the dating phase.

Just remember, you can learn a lot a persons habits and inconsistencies during the dating phase.True indeed. This is just one of the many RED FLAGS we ignore when we think with our :heart: and not our brain

Girl we haven't heard from you, you didn't get lost in there did you?
Look if his house is on wheels run that baby through a carwash:vball:
I'm joking with you, I hope everything is well:drums: