Can AAs Afford “Me First” Atttitude?

If AAs continue going downhill, we won’t be able to get back up the hill. Duh!! I’m sure we know that. Most AAs I meet complain, just as we do on here, about the sad state of things, but very few would be willing to give up the “Me First” selfish attitude. Most of us want what we want when and how we want it and we just keep blaming others for our downhill slide.

Obviously, we have to do something radically different if we are to remain intact as a group.
So I’m asking what RADICAL changes in your life or lifestyle are you willing to make in order for us to stand tall?

For Ex.
Would you be willing to pool your money, energy, knowledge, time, etc. with other entrepreneurs to:

Start a business? Buy land and learn how to farm? Buy a building and live in with people you haven’t known that long?

Would you be willing to move to another part of the country if you could hook up with other progressive Black people who were doing one of the above?

Go into therapy if your “issues” are keeping you stuck in a rut.

Marry a man or woman you didn’t love if it meant you could have a better life and lifestyle for you and your children?

Or what else would you be willing to do to start us moving up the hill?

In my opinion AAs need to develop a more communal attitude or risk extinction. A brief look at the state of our community: The majority of children being born out of wedlock to broken homes; the majority of marriages ending in divorce; an increasing number of people dating, mating, and marrying outside of the race; an increasing number of people engaging in homosexual behaviors; the majority of people in the community living in poverty with little assets; it is apparent that the “me first” attitude has been cancerous for our people. We can not remain in tact or become prosperous under our current circumstances or with the current social-behavior trends as acceptable norms. As far as what I’m willing to do? I’m in the process of forming an institution that will help restore the black family (just looking for funding now). I also have a handful of projects which concentrate on promoting black fatherhood and black love. The suggestions that you’ve provided: buying land, building, learning about farming, and moving to take advantage of better opportunities are all essential tactics as well.

a "me first" or selfish attitude will not help us right now.
i do believe we need to be more focused on the interests of black people world wide.
the first major step toward that would be the act of educating ourselves on the condition and situation.
it may mean humbling ourselves to admit that we do not have all the answers and need to work collectively.
it may even mean listening to elders who know a little bit about life.

for me personally, i have begun to study the Metu Neter and learn some of the spiritual life.

In my opinion AAs need to develop a more communal attitude or risk extinction. A brief look at the state of our community: The majority of children being born out of wedlock to broken homes; the majority of marriages ending in divorce; an increasing number of people dating, mating, and marrying outside of the race; an increasing number of people engaging in homosexual behaviors; the majority of people in the community living in poverty with little assets; it is apparent that the “me first” attitude has been cancerous for our people. We can not remain in tact or become prosperous under our current circumstances or with the current social-behavior trends as acceptable norms. As far as what I’m willing to do? I’m in the process of forming an institution that will help restore the black family (just looking for funding now). I also have a handful of projects which concentrate on promoting black fatherhood and black love. The suggestions that you’ve provided: buying land, building, learning about farming, and moving to take advantage of better opportunities are all essential tactics as well.


The institution that you're forming is great stuff!

But this is what ticks me totally off with our people, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SEEK FUNDING; WE SHOULD STANDING IN LINE TO GIVE YOU CHECKS!

If we're not able to do things ourselves for one reason or another, we should support those of us who do and if we did that, new everythings would be mushrooming in our communities.

If we're not going to support our institutions, it's already over with and some of us just don't know it yet. This is why despite anything else I may espouse on here, I ALWAYS do my best to support Blacks who take the initiative to try to start things, even if I don't always agree with every little thing they say or do. This is because I know that when they do positive things, they're helping me to get back up that hill.

a "me first" or selfish attitude will not help us right now.
i do believe we need to be more focused on the interests of black people world wide.
the first major step toward that would be the act of educating ourselves on the condition and situation.
it may mean humbling ourselves to admit that we do not have all the answers and need to work collectively.
it may even mean listening to elders who know a little bit about life.

for me personally, i have begun to study the Metu Neter and learn some of the spiritual life.


Yes, I think that spiritual development is definitely where it all begins. If a person's spirit is not healthy or if it's malnourished, I don't think they will ever find satisfaction or peace in life.

Isn't it just beyond words that we were all given this wonderful thing called a spirit and then it became poisoned by all the toxins around us! Umph!!

I don't study the Metu Neter, but I stay attuned to my spirit and work to root out the toxins and develop it more and more everyday.

[quote=Riada]Can AAs Afford “Me First” Atttitude?

If AAs continue going downhill, we won’t be able to get back up the hill. Duh!! I’m sure we know that. Most AAs I meet complain, just as we do on here, about the sad state of things, but very few would be willing to give up the “Me First” selfish attitude. Most of us want what we want when and how we want it and we just keep blaming others for our downhill slide.

Sister Riada, I think I know what you mean by your statement about us putting "me first", but may I suggest that sometimes putting yourself first may not ALWAYS be a negative thing, particularly when doing so is for self-preservation purposes. Oftentimes, Black people put others before themselves, even if it harms them in the end. Many of us are taught to "serve" others' needs before our own and as a result, we have lost the knowledge about what is required to take care of ourselves.

But I agree with you that, being "selfish" to the degree that we care nothing for or about others will not help us as a community.

Obviously, we have to do something radically different if we are to remain intact as a group.
So I’m asking what RADICAL changes in your life or lifestyle are you willing to make in order for us to stand tall?

For Ex.
Would you be willing to pool your money, energy, knowledge, time, etc. with other entrepreneurs to:

Start a business? Done this.

Buy land and learn how to farm? Done this.

Buy a building and live in with people you haven’t known that long? Developing this idea.

Would you be willing to move to another part of the country if you could hook up with other progressive Black people who were doing one of the above?

Possibly, but would first want to consider the needs of my elder mother who lives with me before I uproot her to another location.

Go into therapy if your “issues” are keeping you stuck in a rut. Done this.
Marry a man or woman you didn’t love if it meant you could have a better life and lifestyle for you and your children?

Not sure about this one at this stage of my life. My preference now is for the deeper emotional attachment to a Black man. That's what my soul yearns for these days.

Or what else would you be willing to do to start us moving up the hill?

I'm willing to share whatever knowledge I may have based on my personal experiences and to emotionally support my brothers and sisters who are seeking a better way of life. I am a financial contributor to Destee.com which, in my view, demonstrates that I am willing to share my blessings with our community to help build and develop positive resources.
Queenie :heart:

a "me first" or selfish attitude will not help us right now.
i do believe we need to be more focused on the interests of black people world wide.
the first major step toward that would be the act of educating ourselves on the condition and situation.
it may mean humbling ourselves to admit that we do not have all the answers and need to work collectively.
it may even mean listening to elders who know a little bit about life.

for me personally, i have begun to study the Metu Neter and learn some of the spiritual life.

Brother James,

What is Metu Neter?

Queenie :heart:

[quote=Riada]Can AAs Afford “Me First” Atttitude?

If AAs continue going downhill, we won’t be able to get back up the hill. Duh!! I’m sure we know that. Most AAs I meet complain, just as we do on here, about the sad state of things, but very few would be willing to give up the “Me First” selfish attitude. Most of us want what we want when and how we want it and we just keep blaming others for our downhill slide.

Sister Riada, I think I know what you mean by your statement about us putting "me first", but may I suggest that sometimes putting yourself first may not ALWAYS be a negative thing, particularly when doing so is for self-preservation purposes. Oftentimes, Black people put others before themselves, even if it harms them in the end. Many of us are taught to "serve" others' needs before our own and as a result, we have lost the knowledge about what is required to take care of ourselves.

But I agree with you that, being "selfish" to the degree that we care nothing for or about others will not help us as a community.

Obviously, we have to do something radically different if we are to remain intact as a group.
So I’m asking what RADICAL changes in your life or lifestyle are you willing to make in order for us to stand tall?

For Ex.
Would you be willing to pool your money, energy, knowledge, time, etc. with other entrepreneurs to:

Start a business? Done this.

Buy land and learn how to farm? Done this.

Buy a building and live in with people you haven’t known that long? Developing this idea.

Would you be willing to move to another part of the country if you could hook up with other progressive Black people who were doing one of the above?

Possibly, but would first want to consider the needs of my elder mother who lives with me before I uproot her to another location.

Go into therapy if your “issues” are keeping you stuck in a rut. Done this.
Marry a man or woman you didn’t love if it meant you could have a better life and lifestyle for you and your children?

Not sure about this one at this stage of my life. My preference now is for the deeper emotional attachment to a Black man. That's what my soul yearns for these days.

Or what else would you be willing to do to start us moving up the hill?

I'm willing to share whatever knowledge I may have based on my personal experiences and to emotionally support my brothers and sisters who are seeking a better way of life. I am a financial contributor to Destee.com which, in my view, demonstrates that I am willing to share my blessings with our community to help build and develop positive resources.
Queenie :heart:

Yes, Sis. I do mean "Me First" in terms of being selfish. And yes, indeed, Self-Preservation must be the top priority. Of course, many of us don't realize when we're putting the interests of others first.

It's so wonderful that you've been able to make all of the radical moves that you've made. You seem to be the type of person who is so open and receptive to new ideas and new ways. You're truly inspiring!

I'm constantly working on this or that too. I just wear my po' self out sometimes. LOL!

Can AAs Afford “Me First” Atttitude?

If AAs continue going downhill, we won’t be able to get back up the hill. Duh!! I’m sure we know that. Most AAs I meet complain, just as we do on here, about the sad state of things, but very few would be willing to give up the “Me First” selfish attitude. Most of us want what we want when and how we want it and we just keep blaming others for our downhill slide.

Obviously, we have to do something radically different if we are to remain intact as a group.
So I’m asking what RADICAL changes in your life or lifestyle are you willing to make in order for us to stand tall?

For Ex.
Would you be willing to pool your money, energy, knowledge, time, etc. with other entrepreneurs to:

Start a business? Buy land and learn how to farm? Buy a building and live in with people you haven’t known that long?

Would you be willing to move to another part of the country if you could hook up with other progressive Black people who were doing one of the above?

Go into therapy if your “issues” are keeping you stuck in a rut.

Marry a man or woman you didn’t love if it meant you could have a better life and lifestyle for you and your children?

Or what else would you be willing to do to start us moving up the hill?


Well, the "me first" attitude I see that is the most harmful is not being able to unify to accomplish self-empowerment goals or even destroying the efforts of others, whether by directly disparaging them or worse. WEB Dubois getting Marcus Garvey deported is the best example. I don't think one should be obligated to support a person or organization that does not jive with their interests, but it's wrong to destroy them.

I believe most blacks want better for their communities, but don't know how to get to the next level. The next level requires work and sacrifice, not to mention a sense of vision.

For those who have the vision, successful implementation requires working with others who share similar views of black empowerment OR the ability to accept that "me first" for one in an organization may not be in agreement to one's own "me first." This needs to be established clearly at the outset, so the chances of things crumbling because of strife within the organization lessens. It also lessens the feeling some may have that they must constantly prove themselves. The main thing to remember in the latter scenario is that the person is there willing to share their time, talents and energy to meet the goals of the organization that they feel need to be met.

With that being said, let me answer your answer your questions from my perspective:
1) Start a business?

Definitely! I am currently doing entreprenureship online and plan on moving it offline once I learn the ins and outs of marketing on top of getting success.

2) Buy land and learn how to farm?

Yes, if I could afford it.


3) Buy a building and live in with people you haven’t known that long?

No, I don't think that's necessary for black empowerment. I do think though it's important to help out friends in need, but I don't necessarily think it's "me first" to want to establish a sense of trust with those you let into your home around your kids.

4) Would you be willing to move to another part of the country if you could hook up with other progressive Black people who were doing one of the above?

Don't think it's necessary.

5) Go into therapy if your “issues” are keeping you stuck in a rut.

Well, if I'm honest enough to admit I have issues, perhaps I'm already doing the therapy. :) But generally yes, if the issues were keeping me from doing what I felt I needed to do.

6) Marry a man or woman you didn’t love if it meant you could have a better life and lifestyle for you and your children?

Don't think it's necessary. I actually think marrying a person that you don't love, that goes against your political goals, etc. is not healthy for you or your future kids. I'd rather be single if it meant going to a person I didn't love. Nuclear family is obviously the best choice, but for those instances where a person couldn't find that right person, it is still possible to raise a healthy child, so long as they have appropriate role-models of the gender of the parent that is 'missing.'

Well, the "me first" attitude I see that is the most harmful is not being able to unify to accomplish self-empowerment goals or even destroying the efforts of others, whether by directly disparaging them or worse. WEB Dubois getting Marcus Garvey deported is the best example. I don't think one should be obligated to support a person or organization that does not jive with their interests, but it's wrong to destroy them.

I believe most blacks want better for their communities, but don't know how to get to the next level. The next level requires work and sacrifice, not to mention a sense of vision.

For those who have the vision, successful implementation requires working with others who share similar views of black empowerment OR the ability to accept that "me first" for one in an organization may not be in agreement to one's own "me first." This needs to be established clearly at the outset, so the chances of things crumbling because of strife within the organization lessens.

With that being said, let me answer your answer your questions from my perspective:
Start a business? Definitely! I am currently doing entreprenureship online and plan on moving it offline once I learn the ins and outs of marketing on top of getting success.

Buy land and learn how to farm? Yes, if I could afford it.


Buy a building and live in with people you haven’t known that long?

No, I don't think that's necessary for black empowerment. I do think though it's important to help out friends in need, but I don't necessarily think it's "me first" to want to establish a sense of trust with those you let into your home around your kids.

Would you be willing to move to another part of the country if you could hook up with other progressive Black people who were doing one of the above?

Don't think it's necessary.

Go into therapy if your “issues” are keeping you stuck in a rut.
Well, if I'm honest enough to admit I have issues, perhaps I'm already doing the therapy. :) But generally yes, if the issues were keeping me from doing what I felt I needed to do.

Marry a man or woman you didn’t love if it meant you could have a better life and lifestyle for you and your children?

Don't think it's necessary. I actually think marrying a person that you don't love, that goes against your political goals, etc. is not healthy for you or your future kids. I'd rather be single if it meant going to a person I didn't love. Nuclear family is obviously the best choice, but for those instances where a person couldn't find that right person, it is still possible to raise a healthy child, so long as they have appropriate role-models of the gender of the parent that is 'missing.'

Great points, Sis.

Yes, why is it that some of us try to destroy each other simply because we disagree? Whew! That's an important thread in itself. That would require a LOT of self-examination!

I feel too we ought to be able to work inside of a Black organization even if we don't agree 100% with that organization's goals and put our "me first" aside if we're beneffiting indirectly. This is why most of our organizations are dying for lack of support. As I've said before, instead of searching for what we have in common, we tend to search for and focus on what's different about us.

It's great that you're an entrepreneur. Good luck with that!

The reason why I threw in the money and romance questions is because money and romance/sex rule the world. Many of us have been taught to spend our money in ways that don't benefit us and we've been conditioned to look at love, sex, and marriage in ways that don't benefit us.

So, if most AAs don't start looking at life radically different in those two areas alone, getting up the hill for many of us will be like getting the camel through the needle's eye.

Great points, Sis.

Yes, why is it that some of us try to destroy each other simply because we disagree? Whew! That's an important thread in itself. That would require a LOT of self-examination!

I feel too we ought to be able to work inside of a Black organization even if we don't agree 100% with that organization's goals and put our "me first" aside if we're beneffiting indirectly. This is why most of our organizations are dying for lack of support. As I've said before, instead of searching for what we have in common, we tend to search for and focus on what's different about us.

It's great that you're an entrepreneur. Good luck with that!

The reason why I threw in the money and romance questions is because money and romance/sex rule the world. Many of us have been taught to spend our money in ways that don't benefit us and we've been conditioned to look at love, sex, and marriage in ways that don't benefit us.

So, if most AAs don't start looking at life radically different in those two areas alone, getting up the hill for many of us will be like getting the camel through the needle's eye.


Wow. Good points. The only thing I could add is the working within the organization... generally I agree, but things must be peaceful enough to allow the individual to participate. Otherwise, an organization must actively pursue those that fit better with their mindsets.

For example, I don't agree with conservatism or Christianity. Most likely, I wouldn't join anything promoting that but I wouldn't destroy their efforts either. And if a conservative or Christian became a part of anything I formed, I would concentrate more on what they're doing than the things that I don't agree with. Individual lifestyles, political choices, etc. are not as much of a concern for what I feel, (in my view of course), needs to be done. In fact, I'd be willing to hear about their viewpoints even in the midst of disagreeing... just as long as I feel they're not trying to 'force' me to convert and/or trying to discredit me because of my beliefs.

But anyway, that's why I say one's "me first" might be different to another.

let me say something about black on black partnership[it ain't gonna work for most of us]some of you will get mad at me but it's true,i've had enough experiences with fellow blacks to know better..two small examples[last year my wife and i had some watches to be repaired so we went to the[brother]at the mall,well we stood there for a good ten minutes while the good brother talked on his cell phone[and before you ask,yes he looked right at us and kept on talking]so we went to the[indian]further up and he helped us right away..i once went to a black owned corner store to get some change for the bus[i was gonna make a small purchase for change,but the[brother]wouldn't do it.we need to learn how to do business with each other before we can ever think about being a nation unto ourselves[in my dealing with our people i've had very few positives-sad to say].

let me say something about black on black partnership[it ain't gonna work for most of us]some of you will get mad at me but it's true,i've had enough experiences with fellow blacks to know better..two small examples[last year my wife and i had some watches to be repaired so we went to the[brother]at the mall,well we stood there for a good ten minutes while the good brother talked on his cell phone[and before you ask,yes he looked right at us and kept on talking]so we went to the[indian]further up and he helped us right away..i once went to a black owned corner store to get some change for the bus[i was gonna make a small purchase for change,but the[brother]wouldn't do it.we need to learn how to do business with each other before we can ever think about being a nation unto ourselves[in my dealing with our people i've had very few positives-sad to say].

Well, this is an example of how "me first" can differ among individuals.

Honestly, I would not support any business that is giving bad service. The black business owner in your example was putting a "me first" attitude by not tending to your needs as a customer, which is just bad business sense. This is outside of anything political.

However, I think for you you still went against "me first" because you could've gone to the Indian store or a white store period, without considering the black one. You gave him a chance and he gave bad customer service. As far as I'm concerned he didn't do his part. But to each their own.

Can AAs Afford “Me First” Atttitude?

Yes why not. But the reality is that AAs are not "Me First". Its the ruthless white man that is "Me First." We get the end results of the ruthless white mans efforts. As a fool, fortunate for me I want to know what it takes to run today's society and keep people content. It goes beyond the limited teaching experience our collective schools offer.

an analogy would be

If AA are willing to see how the cow goes from the peace of the field and steered against its will to be slaughtered by a meat house. Here the screams of the cow and having its blood run over your arms and body while cutting the carcass off. Drain the blood from the flesh meat. Cut it up into different proportions. Then sell it to a demanding network of dealers even when you did a horrible job in the slaughterhouse.

Finally give it too the end consumer who only knows it by the name "beef" does not "see or hear" a living cow or cattle was sacrificed to provide meat on the table.

Not against meat eaters or detering you from it but alot of work is involved and we should not shy away from how it occurs.

The ruthless white man knows what is involved with being "Me First" and has his cutting knives and tools to get the job done for "His" benefit. Are we ready to do the same. Ready to cast away what you believe (peace told by experts who expect you to consume the end results of someone else's WORK) to justify the end. That to me is "Me First".

let me say something about black on black partnership[it ain't gonna work for most of us]some of you will get mad at me but it's true,i've had enough experiences with fellow blacks to know better..two small examples[last year my wife and i had some watches to be repaired so we went to the[brother]at the mall,well we stood there for a good ten minutes while the good brother talked on his cell phone[and before you ask,yes he looked right at us and kept on talking]so we went to the[indian]further up and he helped us right away..i once went to a black owned corner store to get some change for the bus[i was gonna make a small purchase for change,but the[brother]wouldn't do it.we need to learn how to do business with each other before we can ever think about being a nation unto ourselves[in my dealing with our people i've had very few positives-sad to say].


I know how you feel. There's no excuse for that.

I do feel it's necessary to try to find the "right" Black people to form partnerships with. Sometimes it's so much harder or not even possible to do certain things if we don't team up with others.

I always try to find others who have my value system. I have had some successful partnerships because we do a lot of talking upfront to let the other person know exactly what's expected in order to avoid disputes, disappointment and failure. This is very important when it comes to us, I think, and this has always worked for me.

It would be nice if people who respond to the topic not only offer their opinions about it, but also not forget to respond to the questions that Sister Riada put together.

Thanks,
Queenie :heart:

Brother James,

What is Metu Neter?

Queenie :heart:
the Metu Neter is a khamitic (ancient egyptian) spiritual system and oracle.
the book can be found in many black book stores and vendors.

Thanks, Brother James.

I will look into that.

Queenie :spinstar: