Why is it that SOME Black parents like to (or at least used to) opt for extension cords, iron cords, and other harsh weapons when handling the youngins. Is this not a slavery flashback. Sure an open-handed swat on the buttocks may serve the most stubborn kids right, but are weapons of mass crying and sniffling necessary? Back in 1999 I witnessed a Black mother swat her child with a fly-swatter, in a Toys 'R' Us parking lot. Somebody obviously called 911, the Police took her kids to a Children's Receiving Home, and they did a thorough body check on the child. How would you've all reacted to this situation? 15-20 years later I still have a marking or two from them double lined 'stension cords!!

I agree with only spanking with a belt or a hand on the bottom.

I think each state law varies on whether or not a parent/guardian can legally use a foreign object for corporal pun.

I know Dr. Leary (post slave traumatic syndrome) puts forth that this practice is a vestige of our enslavement period, I am curious from our learned brothers and sisters to know if this a practice that goes on in a) present day Africa b) in Africa before their colonial enslavement c) during ancient times.....if anyone knows please share

I know Dr. Leary (post slave traumatic syndrome) puts forth that this practice is a vestige of our enslavement period, I am curious from our learned brothers and sisters to know if this a practice that goes on in a) present day Africa b) in Africa before their colonial enslavement c) during ancient times.....if anyone knows please share

Well, I've personally seen Nigerian parents here and in Africa beat their children and those kids get a beatdown. The parents sometimes slap or else hit with hands, fists, belts, paddles, switches, and so on. Those parents don't play!! They don't always beat the children though. It has to be something serious like disrespect, disobedience, lying, stealing, or a serious flouting of their customs. Eye-rolling, teeth-sucking, and arguing back or raising voice at parents are examples of disrespectfulbehaviors that might get a typical Nigerian child a beatdown.

Many Nigerian parents consider AA parents to be very soft on our children here and believe this is why some kids here are out of control. They do worry about white or Black people here calling the police on them for disciplining their children and often talk about this topic at gatherings.

hmmmmmmm This is touchy for me!
As a child if my mother would buy nice barretts and I'd lose them while playing she would whoop me with a belt
I've been hit with gym jumpropes naked and you know that does not feel good,thrown down the stairs,chokes and pushed forcefully into another room, just about everything.Now sometimes parents can take it to the extreme!Never ever would I take an extension chord,the same thing that plugs into a wall and has electrical currents going through it to whoop my beautiful creation,God's gift to me, my daughter.How can you look in the face of your child with marks and bruises and bleeding,welts and the emotional pain you will cause them later in life and actucally say you love them!
Yes, I spank my baby, but not often because I set rules and boudaries and my bark is that of a man. I don't play!
Trust she has tried me and my hand is quicker than her attitude so before she finishes I end it! It's a difference between discipline and abuse!
Now a hand on that ***** is sufficient! When they get older liike 15 and they want to act grown it's time to rumble!:garbage:

hmmmmmmm This is touchy for me!
As a child if my mother would buy nice barretts and I'd lose them while playing she would whoop me with a belt
I've been hit with gym jumpropes naked and you know that does not feel good,thrown down the stairs,chokes and pushed forcefully into another room, just about everything.Now sometimes parents can take it to the extreme!Never ever would I take an extension chord,the same thing that plugs into a wall and has electrical currents going through it to whoop my beautiful creation,God's gift to me, my daughter.How can you look in the face of your child with marks and bruises and bleeding,welts and the emotional pain you will cause them later in life and actucally say you love them!
Yes, I spank my baby, but not often because I set rules and boudaries and my bark is that of a man. I don't play!
Trust she has tried me and my hand is quicker than her attitude so before she finishes I end it! It's a difference between discipline and abuse!
Now a hand on that ***** is sufficient! When they get older liike 15 and they want to act grown it's time to rumble!:garbage:


I agree there's a big difference between discipline and abuse. If a child is getting bruised as a result of the 'punishment' the parent needs to check themselves.

Most children aren't purposefully trying to be rebellious, particularly those who get the attention they need all along. And there are some stages such as toddlerhood and teenagehood where the child's physical and emotional development make them more likely to rebel. Indeed, I think some like to take their hostilities out on children because they have the 'power' to do so, moreso than the kid actually deserving such extreme forms of abuse.

It is true too that other cultures are more harsh on physical discipline than especially White/western ones. However, doesn't mean it should be condoned, even if the kids appear better behaved than ours. Many American Blacks approve of physical discipline yet, SOME of us still have problems when we grow up... these problems most of the board are fully aware of, so I'm not going to repeat them. Other cultures might have factors besides discipline that encourages a more well-rounded individual; initiation rites, mother, fathers or some other closely-related family member that is able to watch the child closely, more unity within the community, etc.

Some of them little bad ***** kids.....you NEED something strong and tough like a broom-handle or extention cord to correct them.


When I was 8 and 9 tearing up everything I got my hands on, if my mother threatened to spank me with her hand like on television, I would have just laughed....waiting for the punch line.

Spanking me on the bottom...shhh...
You might as well just pat me on the back and say: :wave: Good job son...keep fvcking up!



Black kids are tougher than white kids, not faded easily.
We learned that early in life.


Back on my block, parents needed TWO sticks to beat their children.
One to break on them and get their attention.....and the other one to actually do the punishing.

Parents were always chasing thier kids up the street with belts, switches, bike-gear chains, and stick.


I remember I was over my friends crib and he kept messing with his mother while she was on the phone and she threw a show at him....he threw it back...lol.
She wrapped the phone cord around her hand and threw the phone at him popping him in the head and it bounced back in her hand....lol....and she finished her conversation.

It took that joker 5 minutes with his mouth open before any sound came out....lol.

Some of them little bad ***** kids.....you NEED something strong and tough like a broom-handle or extention cord to correct them.

I'm not disagreeing, I'm just conflicted about this as a teacher and parent who sees alot of children who bring the same type of "correction" to their outside dealings in school and the streets. So when they are faced with conflict or disagreement with another their first reaction is to go straight to "Ima punch you in the face" or something more extreme violent reaction instead of some conversational finese to compromise and leave the situation where both parties feel they have saved face....I have always wondered if that behavior is somehow learned by what we do and how we react to them at home....I have called parents about their child fighting in school, only to have them come in and beat the h**l out of the child....

Probably the most EFFECTIVE method is for parents to practice what they preach. I don't know if corporal punishment preceeded slavery and colonialism, but I'd like to think that pointless "philosophy" of 'Do as I say, Not as I Do" didn't.

Probably the most EFFECTIVE method is for parents to practice what they preach. I don't know if corporal punishment preceeded slavery and colonialism, but I'd like to think that pointless "philosophy" of 'Do as I say, Not as I Do" didn't.

Good point. I agree.

blaklioness....ITA

[QUOTE=Dual Karnayn]
Spanking me on the bottom...shhh...
You might as well just pat me on the back and say: :wave: Good job son...keep fvcking up!






I'm sorry I laughed outloud with this!

me, myself.......I don't spank my son, I make him workout..Push-ups & situps which serves a double purpose!!

I think black children have enough to contend with in terms of racism etc without having to endure spankings or beatings at home.

I disagree with spanking children - period. Research shows it causes depression in adulthood, it doesn't improve a child's behavior, and it teaches children that violence is acceptable.

Being the person I am, and the person that God made me to be, if I gave my FULL thoughts on this matter, it would be enough for me to write another book.

First of all:

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Proverbs 23:13

Aside from these proverbs, let me mention this: How you live through your childhood, will determine how your children live through their childhood. Even how you live AFTER the child is born will determine how they child turns out to be. Keep in mind that your child will only do what you do. They do not know what it means to "do as I say, not as I do." Essentially, children will mimic what you do. You can say that all you want, but until you change, they won't change. If you live a disrespectful, rebellious childhood, your children will live a disrespectful, rebellious childhood. From the moment they can listen, they need to be taught that you (their parents) love them, and you don't want them living the same hard life that you lived. You don't want them to go through the SAME pains and struggles you went through.

Lastly, evil spirits are everywhere. The easiest people to be attacked by these evil spirits are children, because they are immature, and they are ignorant of the evil spirits. Some are sexual, gambling, just plain disobedient, and so forth. If you do not want your children affected by them, get them out of your home! In addition, know where they are AT ALL TIMES! You can raise them well and send them to school well-mannered, but then they will find themselves around the wrong people, and begin to act like the people they are around. You are who you hang out with.

If you trained them up in the way they should go, and disciplined them well enough to not only have respect for you, but others as well, you won't have to worry about them acting up to the point where they need a beating. The 'folly (foolishness)' in them is already driven out, because you laid the rod of discipline down on them, and they learned to never be foolish again, especially in your presence. After this, you end up with a mature child, who will do nothing more or less than make you proud.

I cannot stand parents who teach their children NEVER to disrespect them, but it is okay to disrespect other people. They swear at their children all to often, but then the child goes to school, and begins swearing at their classmates. The parents hear about it, and act as if they would not know why the child is swearing out of control. This is true with many families, black and white. You are smoking cigarettes, but then when your child is caught in the boy's restroom smoking them, you are shocked?! Are you kidding me? Like I said, children will mimic what you do, because they think it is right.

CD

Not only will I spank my own kids.

If you leave some over my house I'll whip thier a$$es too!


My cousin......who has no husband by the way....is big on that psychological "time out" crap and her kids run over her like a sale at FootLocker.

She left two of her sons over my house one time and I told them not to mess with something and they busted out with that "you ain't none of my daddy" jive.

Little rug rats!

I tore one of them up and started to throw the other out the window.
Had that joker up like Micheal Jackson...lol.


She found out and ain't left them over my house since.


But guess what, whenever I see them now they can't get enough of me and love me more than they love thier own fathers from that ONE time I put the fear of God and authority in them.

Children need and want discipline.

Dual I have a friend like that too!
Her 5yr old calls her fat and the father doody head!
And this christmas the baby was suppose to take a nap and she said i'll knock this christmas tree over! My friend was like no go take a nap!

She would have been a tree ornament!:garbage:

Well, I've personally seen Nigerian parents here and in Africa beat their children and those kids get a beatdown. The parents sometimes slap or else hit with hands, fists, belts, paddles, switches, and so on. Those parents don't play!! They don't always beat the children though. It has to be something serious like disrespect, disobedience, lying, stealing, or a serious flouting of their customs. Eye-rolling, teeth-sucking, and arguing back or raising voice at parents are examples of disrespectfulbehaviors that might get a typical Nigerian child a beatdown.

Many Nigerian parents consider AA parents to be very soft on our children here and believe this is why some kids here are out of control. They do worry about white or Black people here calling the police on them for disciplining their children and often talk about this topic at gatherings.


I agree with everything you have said above.
AA parents are indeed soft on their children and i do support spanking Black children instantly when they go out of the line. It's been part of our culture and tradition.
I have been spanked lots of times as a kid growing up. And im glad my daddy did it b-cos now i do know my left and right. What to do and what not do to even though i still need his guidance.
Black children have to respect elders or people older than them and spankig helps in doing that.
Talking of respect, Black children have to be taught how to respect.
I don't talk back at my mom, yell or shout at her when i do wrong. I just bow my head down and listen to her till she is done. Then i say sorry and promise never to do wrong again. I don't call people older than me or elders by their first names. (AA children do. )It's disrepect.
That's what i was taught. Spanking helped.

This also goes to Black Parents, spank your children from time to time. Don't do this to let them fear you, but know wrong from good, do things at the right time, respect and above all Know their left and right.
But you should never forget this " use the left hand to beat/spank a child, and use the right hand to support him/her"

I agree with everything you have said above.
AA parents are indeed soft on their children and i do support spanking Black children instantly when they go out of the line. It's been part of our culture and tradition.
I have been spanked lots of times as a kid growing up. And im glad my daddy did it becos now i do know my left and right. What to do and what not do to even though i still need his guidance.
Black children have to respect elders or people older than them and spankig helps in doing that.
Talking of respect, Black children have to be taught how to respect.
I don't talk back at my mom, yell or shout at her when i do wrong. I just bow my head down and listen to her till she is done. Then i say sorry and promise never to do wrong again. I don't call people older than me or elders by their first names. (AA children do. )It's disrepect.
That's what i was taught. Spanking helped.

This also goes to Black Parents, spank your children from time to time. Don't do this to let them fear you, but know wrong from good, do things at the right time, respect and above all Know their left and right.
But you should never forget this " use the left hand to beat/spank a child, and use the right hand to support him/her"


Bro. Ibrahim, I'm glad you spoke about this, since you are a continental African and know African culture. There are some prominent African Americans (like author Michael Eric Dyson) who are on the lecture circuit claiming that the reason why AAs believe in beating their children is because they're copying violent, hating behavior that the white slavemaster did to our ancestors here. They don't realize that Africans in Africa beat their children and have been disciplining them like that for thousands of years.

Many AAs are believing this claim and some no longer whip their children. Also, there is this other notion that whipping children teaches them to be violent when they grow up. IMO, that's another claim that is ridiculous, but I don't even try to argue with some of my folks here about that one either.

I was whipped when I was a child and I'm happy for it. It didn't make me violent at all. As I said before, some of the Africans I know here are afraid to whip their children in the U.S. because some of them believe that their white and Black neighbors will report them to the police. So they are unable to spank or slap the child as soon as the child disobeys or does something disrespectful which is when it's most effective.

There was a mother from Sierra Leone whose son had misbehaved one day at the community center where I volunteer. Well, as soon as the counselor told her this, she jumped out of her car and started punching her son on the head and slapping his face. I knew that one of the other Americans who witnessed this was about to run inside and call the police on her, so I had to stop her from disciplining her own child. LOL!! I told her to wait until she got home.

This got to be a joke, right? There's an old saying; "I bought you into this world, I will take you out of it." Where do you think that originated from and why was it only found in black families?

My mother and Grandmother meant every word of that, and as a child I knew they meant it. Before I even thought of doing some bull--- the first thing that came to my mind and out my mouth was; :hell no! my mother will kill my @ss! So even though I was away from home, my mother was deep inside my thought process when it came to certain things I would do and not do.

Now, lets get to the other part. That saying came out of Africa. The moral standards and social values of our African societies at one time was such that, "you grew up from the cradle knowing what was what. If by chance a mother had a wayward child who insisted on violating the values of that society...where could he or she go?

The values in that society were basically the same all over in terms of "respect, honor, values and pride. If by chance a child was contrary, it wasn't like he could go somewhere else. The first thing the people asked from another village was; "why are you not with your own people?" To not be able to live by, respect, honor and uphold the structure of your own people meant that you could not uphold it elsewhere.

As such, a mother would after a child was exiled, try and get her child in order. If this was not possible, she would take their life. In essence she was looked upon and felt within herself that she had produced something unworthy from her womb. Before she would live with that type of disgrace and dishonor as a woman, a mother and as a member of her group, she would go out and hunt that child down and literally take the childs life.

Now, lets be clear on something. Imagine if we were like that again. How many of our children would be gang banging, stealing, drug dealing and everything else? It's something to think about, because before there was 911 or somebody could call into dyfus on a parent in the past, children grew up differently. Before we could call the "white man" on our parents, our parents were the next thing to God and every child knew it.

Now we are so permissive, so soft, so...can we talk about it...so, "I'm not hitting my children", so scared of our children that in essence we have forgotten and given up our parental rights, respect and dignity to social standards implemented and dictated by a people who historically never knew what being a parent was.

My wife scares me at times. She is from that old school and I know that if the cause is right, "she will take our daughter out in a new york minute". More than that, our daughter knows it as well. Needless to say, we d@mn sure have very little problems with her. The message was made, it was hammered on her @ss and it stays in her mind subconsciously. Love and respect must be balanced, and home rules are home rules. A child is a child and a parent is supposed to be a parent and that child's best friend. At the same time, it's a two way street and the child must know this.

Here is another kind of hidden reason why some AA mothers don’t want to spank or discipline their children. Some of the mothers see their children as their “best friends”or their EVERYTHING. Their children become the only other human beings in the world who love them and the only people they can love without possibly getting heartbroken or used. The mothers’ attitude is that “It’s me and my kids against the world.” Their children become their companions, their confidantes, the only people they can depend on, their supporter in times of need and sometimes their protectors.

This is the reality for lots of Black mothers these days. Under these circumstances, it’s very difficult to spank or discipline your 8-year old if the child is the one who comforted you last night when you were depressed or crying. These mothers tend to believe anything their child tells them and they usually will almost always take the child’s side in any conflict between the school or community center and the child. Children, being children, can easily manipulate a mother in this setup.

This is also the reason why some of these mothers will buy expensive things for these children that they can’t afford and sometime try to dress like their child with the same hairstyle, sneakers, jacket and so on. These mothers often get a major attitude when you even try to suggest to them that they need to set limits or discipline their children.

I guess I have experienced things differently.

Most African Americans I know do spank their kids.. it has been my observation from people around me that blacks are more open to that than whites. I think the bad behavior from SOME black children are due to other factors.

Bro. Ibrahim, I'm glad you spoke about this, since you are a continental African and know African culture. There are some prominent African Americans (like author Michael Eric Dyson) who are on the lecture circuit claiming that the reason why AAs believe in beating their children is because they're copying violent, hating behavior that the white slavemaster did to our ancestors here. They don't realize that Africans in Africa beat their children and have been disciplining them like that for thousands of years.

Many AAs are believing this claim and some no longer whip their children. Also, there is this other notion that whipping children teaches them to be violent when they grow up. IMO, that's another claim that is ridiculous, but I don't even try to argue with some of my folks here about that one either.

I was whipped when I was a child and I'm happy for it. It didn't make me violent at all. As I said before, some of the Africans I know here are afraid to whip their children in the U.S. because some of them believe that their white and Black neighbors will report them to the police. So they are unable to spank or slap the child as soon as the child disobeys or does something disrespectful which is when it's most effective.

There was a mother from Sierra Leone whose son had misbehaved one day at the community center where I volunteer. Well, as soon as the counselor told her this, she jumped out of her car and started punching her son on the head and slapping his face. I knew that one of the other Americans who witnessed this was about to run inside and call the police on her, so I had to stop her from disciplining her own child. LOL!! I told her to wait until she got home.


Like our ancestors said. "use the left hand to spank a child and use the right hand to support him/her"

This got to be a joke, right? There's an old saying; "I bought you into this world, I will take you out of it." Where do you think that originated from and why was it only found in black families?

My mother and Grandmother meant every word of that, and as a child I knew they meant it. Before I even thought of doing some bull--- the first thing that came to my mind and out my mouth was; :hell no! my mother will kill my @ss! So even though I was away from home, my mother was deep inside my thought process when it came to certain things I would do and not do.

Now, lets get to the other part. That saying came out of Africa. The moral standards and social values of our African societies at one time was such that, "you grew up from the cradle knowing what was what. If by chance a mother had a wayward child who insisted on violating the values of that society...where could he or she go?

The values in that society were basically the same all over in terms of "respect, honor, values and pride. If by chance a child was contrary, it wasn't like he could go somewhere else. The first thing the people asked from another village was; "why are you not with your own people?" To not be able to live by, respect, honor and uphold the structure of your own people meant that you could not uphold it elsewhere.

As such, a mother would after a child was exiled, try and get her child in order. If this was not possible, she would take their life. In essence she was looked upon and felt within herself that she had produced something unworthy from her womb. Before she would live with that type of disgrace and dishonor as a woman, a mother and as a member of her group, she would go out and hunt that child down and literally take the childs life.

Now, lets be clear on something. Imagine if we were like that again. How many of our children would be gang banging, stealing, drug dealing and everything else? It's something to think about, because before there was 911 or somebody could call into dyfus on a parent in the past, children grew up differently. Before we could call the "white man" on our parents, our parents were the next thing to God and every child knew it.

Now we are so permissive, so soft, so...can we talk about it...so, "I'm not hitting my children", so scared of our children that in essence we have forgotten and given up our parental rights, respect and dignity to social standards implemented and dictated by a people who historically never knew what being a parent was.

My wife scares me at times. She is from that old school and I know that if the cause is right, "she will take our daughter out in a new york minute". More than that, our daughter knows it as well. Needless to say, we d@mn sure have very little problems with her. The message was made, it was hammered on her @ss and it stays in her mind subconsciously. Love and respect must be balanced, and home rules are home rules. A child is a child and a parent is supposed to be a parent and that child's best friend. At the same time, it's a two way street and the child must know this.


No it is not a joke, according to law if you physically swat your children with a foreign object, or with a closed hand, or leave the slightest mark on them you can be sent to prison for child abuse*. I'm not going to beat the #ell out of my daughter, and get locked up in the name of militance!! If my daughter touches a hot stove after being told/warned not to do so, then her burn is her punishment/lesson learned. If she runs out into the street without looking, and wasn't hurt, then she will receive a spanking on her buttocks, and be put on a time out. Children need to be disciplined according to how society will punish them if they break a law....(age permitting). If not, I believe they will enter the real world thinking hitting is the only answer.
Being that my 8 year old has a minor learning disability, I have to show her a little more mercy. I do agree with you and your wife being stern with your child/ren, but once a child gets used to all the ***** whoopings, what comes next? Will they take you serious? I believe spanking should be the last resort.

i was beaten as a child.. yall kno the diff.:fight:
i now observe a 6 y/o sibling of mine never haven been whooped.. go crazy... the stuff she does woulda had dat belt on my hide n i woulndt sit 4 hours.