Last week I was watching this show called "Adoption Stories" on TLC (cable channel)... It features (what else ?) documentary style emotion packed episodes about families of all types going through the process of adopting children that are often from countries outside the continental U.S.
The latest show I saw featured a white couple from Winipeg, Manitoba, Canada adopting a stunningly beautiful chocolate skinned little girl from a caribbean nation (who's name escapes me at the moment). As I watched the show I was torn by feelings of happiness for the couple as they were so thrilled and joyful about bringing this child into their lives, but on the other hand I felt badly that this sweet little one could not have been adopted by a black caribbean family. BUT isn't the best thing for the child to be adopted into a loving family and not be sent from one foster family to another never having a family to truly call her own ??? As I say, I'm very torn on this issue. I've also seen episodes of this show where white gay male couples have adopted black/native american/asian/latino-hispanic children. One thing that is always present in my mind is that, although white folks are allowed to adopt children of every ethnicity/nationality in the universe, you will never see so-called "minority" families being able to adopt a white child. Nevertheless, should these dear children suffer because of that double standard, lanquishing in foster care in need of a permanent family, or should they be sent to the first qualified, available, trustworthy, FBI backround checked, (and most important...) loving family regardless of the adopting family's race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/economic status etc. ???

Famblee, I'm very interested in reading your opinions !

Much Peace ~

Perhaps the main focus is on who can provide the most financial stability, most times it is whites in this position. However I notice too many Black families picking lighter/mixed children to adopt. I'm telling you, if I were to adopt, I'm getting the one girl/boy who looks the most like me&my mate, thus eliminating some identity complex, and so they won't feel more akward then they already do. Every child likes to look like their parents, adopted or not. All of this double standard in adopting is another way for whites to make Blacks over to their liking, since the children are Black, at least their mind can be that of a white, in their opinion. Besides they don't want to mess a "precious white childs' mind" by Black "influence". IMO

I don't know really.

Nobody wants to be in foster care, but having all-white parents living in a mostly white community can be detrimental in a society that lets you know you are black. But then again not enough black families are adopting like they should... it's a hard call.

And to me it would be difficult for all children, including those with special needs. In fact the latter might be worse, because not only are they black but they also have a disability. More negative/unwanted attention to be called to them if living in a white environment with white parents.

As far as other groups... it would be pretty much of the same problem unless one of the parents were black, which wouldn't make it a full cross-cultural adoption.

Thanks for sharing your view points Sistas Spicy Brown & KarmaShines

Last week I was watching this show called "Adoption Stories" on TLC (cable channel)... It features (what else ?) documentary style emotion packed episodes about families of all types going through the process of adopting children that are often from countries outside the continental U.S. The latest show I saw featured a white couple from Winipeg, Manitoba, Canada adopting a stunningly beautiful chocolate skinned little girl from a caribbean nation (who's name escapes me at the moment). As I watched the show I was torn by feelings of happiness for the couple as they were so thrilled and joyful about bringing this child into their lives, but on the other hand I felt badly that this sweet little one could not have been adopted by a black caribbean family. BUT isn't the best thing for the child to be adopted into a loving family and not be sent from one foster family to another never having a family to truly call her own ??? As I say, I'm very torn on this issue. I've also seen episodes of this show where white gay male couples have adopted black/native american/asian/latino-hispanic children. One thing that is always present in my mind is that, although white folks are allowed to adopt children of every ethnicity/nationality in the universe, you will never see so-called "minority" families being able to adopt a white child. Nevertheless, should these dear children suffer because of that double standard, lanquishing in foster care in need of a permanent family, or should they be sent to the first qualified, available, trustworthy, FBI backround checked, (and most important...) loving family regardless of the adopting family's race/ethnicity/sexual orientation/economic status etc. ???

Famblee, I'm very interested in reading your opinions !

Much Peace ~

There are positives and negatives to cross cultural adoptions. Actually there is just one positive: The foster care system is not a good environment for any child to grow up in. Therefore many can say that any home environment would be preferrable. However, the negatives of cross cultural adoptions are legion.

One thing that must be understood is that white children (particularly babies) are rare in the foster care system. For any prospective couple who is looking into adoption, a baby is the primary choice. Thus while most white couples want white children, they often seek non-white children because they are easier to get as babies.

White people who adopt non-white children usually do little to make aware of their original culture. Indeed they essentially try to turn them into "colored" white people (many times changing the child's name to a Eurocentric one). In the few exceptions where a white adoptive family does try to educate their non-white children about their true heritage, they can't do an adequate job because they aren't from that culture.

Non-white children who are raised in white households often have a false perception of the world. As a result they are often unprepared for cruel realities of society such as racism, because they haven't been adequately trained to prepare for it. I'd even go as far as to say many believe they are white, and have a crisis when they realize that they aren't.

Needless to say, I feel that children should be adopted by someone of their race when ever it is possible. When a couple adopts a child from another race, they need to be officially trained about that child's culture and the issues they might deal with growing up. A white couple adopting a child of "color" and trying to turn them white doesn't truly have respect for them in my opinion.

There are positives and negatives to cross cultural adoptions. Actually there is just one positive: The foster care system is not a good environment for any child to grow up in. Therefore many can say that any home environment would be preferrable. However, the negatives of cross cultural adoptions are legion.

One thing that must be understood is that white children (particularly babies) are rare in the foster care system. For any prospective couple who is looking into adoption, a baby is the primary choice. Thus while most white couples want white children, they often seek non-white children because they are easier to get as babies.

White people who adopt non-white children usually do little to make aware of their original culture. Indeed they essentially try to turn them into "colored" white people (many times changing the child's name to a Eurocentric one). In the few exceptions where a white adoptive family does try to educate their non-white children about their true heritage, they can't do an adequate job because they aren't from that culture.

Non-white children who are raised in white households often have a false perception of the world. As a result they are often unprepared for cruel realities of society such as racism, because they haven't been adequately trained to prepare for it. I'd even go as far as to say many believe they are white, and have a crisis when they realize that they aren't.

Needless to say, I feel that children should be adopted by someone of their race when ever it is possible. When a couple adopts a child from another race, they need to be officially trained about that child's culture and the issues they might deal with growing up. A white couple adopting a child of "color" and trying to turn them white doesn't truly have respect for them in my opinion.


I wholeheartedly agree with this comment. Excellent post.



Htp.u

There are positives and negatives to cross cultural adoptions. Actually there is just one positive: The foster care system is not a good environment for any child to grow up in. Therefore many can say that any home environment would be preferrable. However, the negatives of cross cultural adoptions are legion.

One thing that must be understood is that white children (particularly babies) are rare in the foster care system. For any prospective couple who is looking into adoption, a baby is the primary choice. Thus while most white couples want white children, they often seek non-white children because they are easier to get as babies.

White people who adopt non-white children usually do little to make aware of their original culture. Indeed they essentially try to turn them into "colored" white people (many times changing the child's name to a Eurocentric one). In the few exceptions where a white adoptive family does try to educate their non-white children about their true heritage, they can't do an adequate job because they aren't from that culture.

Non-white children who are raised in white households often have a false perception of the world. As a result they are often unprepared for cruel realities of society such as racism, because they haven't been adequately trained to prepare for it. I'd even go as far as to say many believe they are white, and have a crisis when they realize that they aren't.

Needless to say, I feel that children should be adopted by someone of their race when ever it is possible. When a couple adopts a child from another race, they need to be officially trained about that child's culture and the issues they might deal with growing up. A white couple adopting a child of "color" and trying to turn them white doesn't truly have respect for them in my opinion.

I"ve said this before when this subject came up.

We need to get involved in adoption. There are so many more black kids in the system than white. I would rather black people step up and start adopting more, but until that happens I'm not going to complain about white people adopting black children, since I would rather see that than them staying in the system.

I"ve said this before when this subject came up. We need to get involved in adoption. There are so many more black kids in the system than white. I would rather black people step up and start adopting more, but until that happens I'm not going to complain about white people adopting black children, since I would rather see that than them staying in the system.

On this we agree......

I wholeheartedly agree with this comment. Excellent post.

Thank you brother Sun of Ra!

I"ve said this before when this subject came up.

We need to get involved in adoption. There are so many more black kids in the system than white. I would rather black people step up and start adopting more, but until that happens I'm not going to complain about white people adopting black children, since I would rather see that than them staying in the system.

Sister Indya ... have you adopted any Black babies?

To all of you who are against cross cultural adoptions, have you adopted a Black baby?

:heart:

Destee

Sister Indya ... have you adopted any Black babies?

To all of you who are against cross cultural adoptions, have you adopted a Black baby?

:heart:

Destee

I have not adopted a black child (or any child), because I have 2 biological children which I'm working 3 jobs to provide for. However, adoption is definately something I would consider if I was financially able to take care of many children. When I see so many black children orphaned here (and in Africa) my heart goes out for them.

Sister Indya ... have you adopted any Black babies?

To all of you who are against cross cultural adoptions, have you adopted a Black baby?

:heart:

Destee

No Destee I haven't adopted.

I have 4 children of my own so adoption isn't in my financial future right now.

My mother was a foster parent for years though. I have been taking a serious look at doing this myself since there are so many kids out there who need help.

There are very few situations where a Black child should be subjected to the European insanity by growing up in their household. Under no circumstances should a Black household welcome, support, care-for or love a non-original child.

I have not adopted a black child (or any child), because I have 2 biological children which I'm working 3 jobs to provide for. However, adoption is definately something I would consider if I was financially able to take care of many children. When I see so many black children orphaned here (and in Africa) my heart goes out for them.

You obviously have a strong commitment to your family, and don't mind doing whatever it takes to provide for the family you chose to create. I wish every man had that mentality. :spin:

You obviously have a strong commitment to your family, and don't mind doing whatever it takes to provide for the family you chose to create. I wish every man had that mentality. :spin:

I'm following the example my father laid before me, and which both my parents instilled within.

The very idea that this question is posed goes to show you how much of our african value system we have lost or that has been taken away.

The very idea that this question is posed goes to show you how much of our african value system we have lost or that has been taken away.

Brutha Keita,

The fact that this question was posed reflects my interest in knowing other folk's opinions on a subject that affects black and other so called "minority" children in our communities...nothing more...nothing less. It in no way
reflects my african based value system...lost, taken, or otherwise. Why
not participate in this discussion in a constructive rather than critical manner ?

Brutha Keita,

The fact that this question was posed reflects my interest in knowing other folk's opinions on a subject that affects black and other so called "minority" children in our communities...nothing more...nothing less. It in no way
reflects my african based value system...lost, taken, or otherwise. Why
not participate in this discussion in a constructive rather than critical manner ?

I agree... though I am not sure whether Keita was referring to you directly or stating something in general.

Regardless, as long as there are black children in foster care (which unfortunately there are in large numbers), and as long as there are 'others' who are interested in adopting them, this will be an issue. And until blacks, (especially those that are ardently against 'others' adopting), take these children in... it will either be a life in foster care never feeling loved, (and still possibly having to live in a white home at some point in time), or being in the care of another race with some love from the parents but getting racist hell from society.

as long as there are black children in foster care (which unfortunately there are in large numbers), and as long as there are 'others' who are interested in adopting them, this will be an issue. And until blacks, (especially those that are ardently against 'others' adopting), take these children in... it will either be a life in foster care never feeling loved, (and still possibly having to live in a white home at some point in time), or being in the care of another race with some love from the parents but getting racist hell from society.

Talk about a double edged sword!

I agree... though I am not sure whether Keita was referring to you directly or stating something in general.

Regardless, as long as there are black children in foster care (which unfortunately there are in large numbers), and as long as there are 'others' who are interested in adopting them, this will be an issue. And until blacks, (especially those that are ardently against 'others' adopting), take these children in... it will either be a life in foster care never feeling loved, (and still possibly having to live in a white home at some point in time), or being in the care of another race with some love from the parents but getting racist hell from society.I agree. I don't think Keita's statement was intended to be a direct accusation. I personally am aware of the fact that Africans historically have banned together in efforts to raise villages of black youth. Even as recently as the 1970's, this tradition of black parents in the community taking on partial responsibilty, were adhered to. Only of recent decades, have we somewhat disconnected ourselves from this former commonality.

I personally am aware of the fact that Africans historically have banned together in efforts to raise villages of black youth. Even as recently as the 1970's, this tradition of black parents in the community taking on partial responsibilty, were adhered to. Only of recent decades, have we somewhat disconnected ourselves from this former commonality.

This is very true BlackKing, a similar disconnect has also lead to the reduction of the two parent family. There is definately a correlation between these two social-behavioral patterns.

This is very true BlackKing, a similar disconnect has also lead to the reduction of the two parent family. There is definately a correlation between these two social-behavioral patterns.I agree. I'm not 100% sure, but I believe prior to integration, the percentage of black households inclusive of black fathers was significantly higher. Since then, it seems that the African-American family's social behavior patterns have ethically decayed.

I agree. I'm not 100% sure, but I believe prior to integration, the percentage of black households inclusive of black fathers was significantly higher. Since then, it seems that the African-American family's social behavior patterns have ethically decayed.

If you aren't sure, then I'll confirm your belief. The percentage of black households with the fathers present was significantly higher before integration. This is yet one of many reasons why I've stated on numerous ocassions that integration has brought as many negatives as positives to black people. It is also one of the reason why I feel that hindsight being 20/20 the move towards integration was a mistake on the part of Black Civil Rights leaders. There is much more to my opinion than simply hating white folk.

If you aren't sure, then I'll confirm your belief. The percentage of black households with the fathers present was significantly higher before integration. This is yet one of many reasons why I've stated on numerous ocassions that integration has brought as many negatives as positives to black people. It is also one of the reason why I feel that hindsight being 20/20 the move towards integration was a mistake on the part of Black Civil Rights leaders. There is much more to my opinion than simply hating white folk.Although I may have reservations about stating that Civil Rights activsts mistakenly moved towards integration as a whole, I do agree with you that fatherless homes have indeed become casualties of that system. That cannot be refuted. This is why I agree with cross-cultural adoption only when it is a necessity.

Although I may have reservations about stating that Civil Rights activsts mistakenly moved towards integration as a whole, I do agree with you that fatherless homes have indeed become casualties of that system. That cannot be refuted. This is why I agree with cross-cultural adoption only when it is a necessity.

All black activist in the 1950s and 60s did not fight for integration, that is true. Many fought against the whole scale terrorism inflicted against black people in America. However enough did have this goal in mind that integration became the biggest achievement of the movement; and its most important victory in the eyes of many (black and white). As you well know, I feel that fight to end segregation was a pyrrhic victory for black Americans, because we ultimately have lost more as a community than some of us have gained individually. Indeed if for no other reason, the sacrifice of our family struture: From roughly 80% of black children being born into a two parent home prior to integration; to an estimated 70% of black children being born to a single parent home after integration, makes this move more trouble than it was worth.

From roughly 80% of black children being born into a two parent home prior to integration; to an estimated 70% of black children being born to a single parent home after integration, makes this move more trouble than it was worth.

Makes me think that "they" allowed us to integrate when the power of our unity becme so evident - soley to destroy us. These statistics clearly show that integration was an immense success for the enemy rather than for us

The very idea that this question is posed goes to show you how much of our african value system we have lost or that has been taken away.

Brutha Keita,

After reading other Brutha & Sistah's responses, I became aware that I
have probably misinterpreted your statement and for this I am humbly sorry.

Akilah :bowdown:

Makes me think that "they" allowed us to integrate when the power of our unity becme so evident - soley to destroy us. These statistics clearly show that integration was an immense success for the enemy rather than for us

That is an understatement sister!

I'm for it as long as the parents make sure to somehow connect and teach the child about their own culture, and to show them the differences that exist amongst races. Not to say that the parent needs to turn the child into a racist, but to open their eyes to reality and let them know what they're all about and what their people are and have been about.

Oh yeah, and of course the parents need to nurture the child as well.