Hello Family,

I was just reading a post that Sister Foxi shared, and in it she said that many have wanted to leave this community. That is so true! Yall just do not know! And i wanted to add ... even i wanna leave sometimes!

I apologize if i've made it appear as though this is all a flowery bed of ease for me!

Oh my gosh! Sometimes, i wanna quit too ... but it doesn't seem to be in me.

So for those who wanna quit, who can quit, leave, whatever ... please put an extra measure in for me!

I don't usually share with the Family, the things i share with the Moderators, but i'm gonna do that now, because i think it's fitting.

The text below is something that all the Mods have read, but it can and should be applied to the Family at large. For whenever you are not happy in a place, no longer feeling good there, you should not subject yourself to that. I mean this with my whole heart. As much as i want everyone here, i want more for everyone here, to want to be here.

Well ... anyway ... here's the thread that the Mods have read ...

and please know ... that sometimes i wanna leave too!


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Hello Family,

My experience with online communities did not start with this one. I have been involved with the management of online communities since 1996. I started on AOL, moderating my own black entrepreneur chat for Black Voices.

I have always loved working with people, our people especially, and building community. In spite of this, i've had times when for whatever reason, the joy, desire, or ability ceased and i had to move on. During my first online management experience, with Black Voices, it was extremely hard to leave. I was blessed with the most wonderful "Forum Leader." Her name was (is) Bree and she made working for her and the community such a joy. I felt like she was my Sister/Mother/Friend all wrapped up in one. So, when it came time for me to leave, telling her was very difficult. I didn't want to put her in a bind or disappoint her in any way. I stayed as long as i could, but the time finally came when i had to tell her it was time for me to move on.

She was so sooo very wonderful !!!! She was so sweet and warm and fantastic! She gave me to know that she would be fine without me and all of my concern was for naught. She let me know that she wished me well and if ever there was anything she could do for me, all i had to do was ask. I learned so much from her. I learned how to be a Forum Leader, i learned how to embrace those who worked with me, and i learned how to let them go when that time presented itself. She taught me how to make our separation as enjoyable as our coming together. I love her still to this very day.

Moderating here or in any community can only be a joy and pleasure if you in fact, enjoy it and find it pleasurable. Otherwise, you hurt yourself, the community, and those you interact with. Moderators are leaders and if you aren't sure about being here, you can't lead properly. Building community comes from the heart, you have to want to do it, in order to do it well. So please, don't put yourself through the misery of staying, if that is not what you want to do. I will forever be grateful for what you have given and will never have any hard feelings or harsh words because you've decided to move on.

All of this to say Family, that there inevitably comes a time when, for whatever reason, we are not moved the same by what we do here. Our lives change, interests shift, we grow and must move on. Please know that you are always welcome to let me know if this is where you are and what you are experiencing. I promise to make your departure as beautiful, joyous, and positive as my dear darling Bree made mine, so many years ago.

I hope you all understand what i'm saying.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee

while sharing deep thoughts , Destee you took time and shared a gem
and gave life to many of us , what i mean by life is your warmth and embrace
took members under your wings like me and showed me how to Lead how to
understand and see things as a leader , there has been times where i had doubts
but you re-a-sured me with your humble leadership and it's no secret to many
who know me and your self how much my love is for DESTEE.COM don't get
me wrong i love you as well as a sista / Leader but I have this greater deeper
Love for this site i have learned a lot here and i have embraced many this one
place i aim to be and will be ...

going way back when we walked many miles and i saw many things take place
some was wonderful some was not so great and painful but my heart never really
let me come between what i love and where i want to be , I truely know what you
saying here but i have become somewhat like you if everyone leave this community
i'll be the one standing in the middle alone, this my net home i watch rise from a small
street to a full community , to depart i can't express but to stay i can .

I know someday my journey will end and another one will start but the vision i have
and what i see happening here have not let me look that far yet so here i remain
Destee you come to know me well and how i act and feel to a point we have shared
things and issues as a Leader you past that great Leadership down to me and it
took me some time to accept it but now that i have my sista you stuck with me
through a lot when you could have turn away and i HONOR you for holding on
understanding and doing what a leader do i learn a lot from that along now you are
stuck with me , my commitment and loyality to Destee.com is more then any
could know ....I have said in the past these same words but in heart i can't it's
where i want to be and i truely enjoy coming in to meet new people but i have this
wild thing for poetry and how can i depart my life with that .....I can't let go
won't let go so .........i am, i feel you Mother Queen, but as long as i'm beside you
for you and with you leaving is out the question .

most of all i'm most humbled and very happy for you teaching me what Leadership
is in a community and for all your very very hard workmenship to allow us all a place
to come / share / vent / express and even fuss / disagree but how far do we go
i hope not to extreme where we divide ourselves ......look for me years to come..
when my time come to depart i'll know this was a great journey under a great
understandable LEADER Name DESTEE.

I had to add this .....but i understand what you saying here.

let me add we all i believe have felt this way through dis-agreements
of selfish feeling issues and over words. some leave some look for
attention and some work it out most of all these are things that have
kept us as people divided , time we start sharing common solution to
problems and not debate every written word or statement but look to
add an solution for it with open mind and heart .

Destee Thank you for you ! continue to teach and share the leadership
because i'm still learning and want to learn knowledge & wisdom is the
key and goal being to this day a community leader i found knowledge
through you and now i have wisdom of it to share and teach the upcoming
without your leadership i would have been just another visitor here.


I LOVE THIS PLACE AND IT'S FOUNDER..............

Awwwwwwww MY $$RICH$$NESSSSSSSSS ... :love:

Reading this has brought tears to my eyes. Oh my gosh, and some smiles too ... you're so krazee ... lol ... oh boy ... we have gone through some things together, haven't we?!! Whew! Bless your sweet heart, talking about me putting up with you ... c'mon now Bruh ... you had to put up with me too! :) Thank You for not throwing in the towel the many times you may have wanted to! I really can't imagine this place without you. You know i've said many times, that because of you, i was able to focus on other things in the community because you were taking care of our most active area ... poetry! Now that we have this great Team up there, gosh, i rarely even look! I feel bad sometimes, not giving the poetry area any of my time, but gosh, yall run it like a well-oiled machine! Thank you so much for standing with me, through our roughest of times. Giving me to know that i have a friend for life. I am honored. Thank You $$RICH$$.

You know $$RICH$$, when you talk about leadership, we are all leaders ... every Member of this community. We all have the ability to guide and move this community in the direction we want it to go, by the way we interact with each other ... and i'm proud to say that all of us are learning how to be better leaders ... including me!

You have always said that you would be the last one standing with me ... that everyone else would be gone ... and it would be you and i ... just like in the beginning, remember those days when it would be 2 Members on the forum ... you and me ... :lol: ... or remember when there would be just one ... man ... God has blessed us immensely, with each other. Thank You MY $$RICH$$NESSSS! :love:

i love you

:heart:

Destee

We have probably all wanted to leave at one time or another. Feelings get hurt, misunderstandings happen. But there is a difference between wanting to leave, and actually leaving. Sometimes we just need a cooling off period, a time to reflect and think about the real reason(s) that we are here. And determining if those reasons are indeed valid any more.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Perhaps checking out a few other websites, to compare, would be wiser to do, than to just leave. We may just find that what we're looking for isn't really out there, no site is perfect. Or we may find a place that better suits us initially. But what happens when the "newness" wears off? You may be in store for even more disagreements than at the site you left, nothing is for certain.
When some threaten to leave, they mean it. With others, I think it's a last ditch effort at trying to be heard. To say that there is this problem, and you are trying to solve it, but haven't been able to. That you'd rather resolve the problem and stay, but can't solve it, as of yet. And there are times when you have to agree to disagree, if you want there to be peace...If indeed you want there to be peace.
I think you are correct Destee, if a place causes more pain than happiness, than yes, you should consider a new home. And hopefully that decision will be made because one has grown and changed, not because one no longer feels welcome. But definitely give it some thought and investigation first, before you cut all ties.

BESTFRIENDS indeed and yes how i remember the (all nighters) we shared
the long working hours here to build what is still a great community and yes
i know deep inside everyone here they are Leaders to move this community
to a higher point and we are coming along fine we shall and will reach that
peek ahead no matter what storm shift our way.

MOTHER QUEEN i will go through the fire with you and yes i said it long
ago and today i will be here when everyone else is gone

I truely hope thousands make me be wrong on that !
whenever you need me i'm here for you no matter what it is that's what
friends are for a friend indeed and i will protect where i live on the net

DESTEE.COM y'a heardddd me !

PEACE & HARMONY w/blessings to us all in our very own community

love you Destee by the way did you know i had a crush on you ! lol.....
let me stop before a war kick in round here and i have to ride airwave
in my B-52 HOOVERCRAFT BOMBER

We have probably all wanted to leave at one time or another. Feelings get hurt, misunderstandings happen. But there is a difference between wanting to leave, and actually leaving. Sometimes we just need a cooling off period, a time to reflect and think about the real reason(s) that we are here. And determining if those reasons are indeed valid any more.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Perhaps checking out a few other websites, to compare, would be wiser to do, than to just leave. We may just find that what we're looking for isn't really out there, no site is perfect. Or we may find a place that better suits us initially. But what happens when the "newness" wears off? You may be in store for even more disagreements than at the site you left, nothing is for certain.
When some threaten to leave, they mean it. With others, I think it's a last ditch effort at trying to be heard. To say that there is this problem, and you are trying to solve it, but haven't been able to. That you'd rather resolve the problem and stay, but can't solve it, as of yet. And there are times when you have to agree to disagree, if you want there to be peace...If indeed you want there to be peace.
I think you are correct Destee, if a place causes more pain than happiness, than yes, you should consider a new home. And hopefully that decision will be made because one has grown and changed, not because one no longer feels welcome. But definitely give it some thought and investigation first, before you cut all ties.

So true Sister Watz ... and good to be reading you! You should come down into the discussion areas more often, i've told you about the wisdom you have and how you should not deny us the blessing within you!

Yes, i think we have all probably wanted to leave! We are not the easiest folk to deal with, by any stretch of the imagination! But as difficult as we may be, i'd not want to be in the midst of any other! I Love Us!

You're right, there are no guarantees and the chances are great that we'll have to go through something, no matter where we are.

Sister Watz, i'm especially happy that you're still here! Do i have a story to tell on everyone or what?!!! ... :lol: ... ohhhhhh Sister ... but you know, we have had our share of ups and downs ... wondering if we could live together ... if we were really seeing eye to eye, understanding each other ... but you know what Sister Watz, even through those more trying times, you never gave up on this community. I think i've said this somewhere before, how no matter what, you gave your $10.00 a month to help this community remain alive. I know you're a single Mother and that money could go to something else, there's always something else a Momma needs to buy! But you sacrifice to help keep this community here ... right in the midst of the storms, you kept believing ... and we made it through!

I am honored Sister. Forever i'll be honored. Thank You!

:heart:

Destee

by the way did you know i had a crush on you !

MY $$RICH$$NESSS ... :eeek: ... oh my gosh !!!! ... why didn't you tell me ?!!!

Ohhhhhhhhhh $$RICH$$ ... uuhhhhh ... wait ... skuze me ... can you meet me in my office for a private Mod Meeting??? ... right away please???? ... :wink:

Oh My Goodness $$RICH$$ ... wait wait wait ... you said "had" ... like past tense ... like it's over now ??!!

just like me ... a day late and a dollar short ... :bye:

:heart:

Destee

we'll take this up over dinner and leave your pocketbook at home !
guess i'll hit that crush thread now .......... let's say have not had .

Hello Family,

I was just reading a post that Sister Foxi shared, and in it she said that many have wanted to leave this community. That is so true! Yall just do not know! And i wanted to add to that ... that even i wanna leave sometimes!

I apologize if i've made it appear as though this is all a flowery bed of ease for me!

Oh my gosh! Sometimes, i wanna quit too ... but it doesn't seem to be in me.

So for those who wanna quit, who can quit, leave, whatever ... please put an extra measure in for me!

I don't usually share with the Family, the things i share with the Moderators, but i'm gonna do that now, because i think it's fitting.

The text below is something that all the Mods have read, but it can and should be applied to the Family at large. For whenever you are not happy in a place, no longer feeling good there, you should not subject yourself to that. I mean this with my whole heart. As much as i want everyone here, i want more for everyone here, to want to be here.

Well ... anyway ... here's the thread that the Mods have read ...

and please know ... that sometimes i wanna leave too!

I apologize in advance if my post offends anyone...and it surely will...but I can only be who I am and keep it real for myself, not some crowd pleaser...



Destee

You and this post should stand as a MODEL of what black femininity should be.....

You are a lovely, intelligent, clean woman who knows how to carry herself and isn't afraid to let her sensative feminine side show through in the form of a little insecurity or vulnerability.

And that's ULTRA-ATTRACTIVE to black men like me.

Especially when you say "gosh".
It's good for our women to be a little corny.


That's how our women should be.

Not this macho sharp-tongued pain-inflicting attitude so many have adopted.

Infact...I've NEVER seen you carry yourself other than a lady even when you were obviously angry and had the power to.

When I read that post I felt like cuddling you like a baby and just sheltering you with protection, it brought out natural instincts inside me.

That's the way I want my sistaz to make me feel.

That's what I mean about wanting to be "needed".


Unfortunately, the older I get the more I'm comming to believe that your type and the opposite is inherent nature and not something that can be instilled, and it saddens me in a way that so many of our women have this rough arrogant nature about them.

I hope you have some daughters sis so atleast you can impart on them something of the woman that you are, because we're hurting for it in our community.






That's the part I wanted to address.
I didn't plan on posting any spirit-lifting "hang in there" Rocky IV speeches because I know you ain't going nowhere no time soon, quitting isn't in your nature.

You might EXPAND.....

I am not sure exactly what the hey is going on around here ( iam usually the last to know anyway..LOL)
but I have read a few of the post about leaving and not getting what they need
or being appauled by names used etc.
My comment is that sometime in life we must all move on and make changes in our lives.
Moving on should never be about negativetity but about positive growth for yourself.
If someone leaves because they are offended by something said or done then they are not prepared for life, because things will always be said and done that we may not like and may totally disagree with.
If it is time to leave for those I say farwell and good luck.
To those who are staying I say lets move on and continue to grow in strength,honesty and unity.

we'll take this up over dinner and leave your pocketbook at home !
guess i'll hit that crush thread now .......... let's say have not had .

MY $$RICH$$NESSSSSSS ... :love:

:heart:

Destee

I apologize in advance if my post offends anyone...and it surely will...but I can only be who I am and keep it real for myself, not some crowd pleaser...



Destee

You and this post should stand as a MODEL of what black femininity should be.....

You are a lovely, intelligent, clean woman who knows how to carry herself and isn't afraid to let her sensative feminine side show through in the form of a little insecurity or vulnerability.

And that's ULTRA-ATTRACTIVE to black men like me.

Especially when you say "gosh".
It's good for our women to be a little corny.


That's how our women should be.

Not this macho sharp-tongued pain-inflicting attitude so many have adopted.

Infact...I've NEVER seen you carry yourself other than a lady even when you were obviously angry and had the power to.

When I read that post I felt like cuddling you like a baby and just sheltering you with protection, it brought out natural instincts inside me.

That's the way I want my sistaz to make me feel.

That's what I mean about wanting to be "needed".


Unfortunately, the older I get the more I'm comming to believe that your type and the opposite is inherent nature and not something that can be instilled, and it saddens me in a way that so many of our women have this rough arrogant nature about them.

I hope you have some daughters sis so atleast you can impart on them something of the woman that you are, because we're hurting for it in our community.






That's the part I wanted to address.
I didn't plan on posting any spirit-lifting "hang in there" Rocky IV speeches because I know you ain't going nowhere no time soon, quitting isn't in your nature.

You might EXPAND.....

Brother Ralfa'il ... i sincerely appreciate the love, confidence, and compliments you've given me ... thank you ...

but you are so full of yourself !!!!! :puke:

what the hey are you talking about ... i'm ultra attractive to you ???!!!

i don't think you know what kind of woman you want, or how to recognize her if you see her!

you said the following:

I'm sorry....

But if you're a strong independant woman, I have no need for you.

uhhhh Brother Ralfa'il ... i am a strong independent woman! ... duhhhh !!!!

and you know what else ... i said gosh up there ... but i can say a whole bunch of other stuff too !!!! ... just because you've never seen me carry on any other way ... does not mean i never have!

you feel me ???

so ... while i appreciate the comments ... please recognize that you can't judge a book by its cover ... all of my Sisters are models of Black Femininity !!!! ... and let me say too ... that when a woman meets a man ... a man that moves and excites her ... she will often give up saying and doing a whole lotta things ... and start saying and doing brand new stuff ... as a result of that complimentary motivation! In addition, the very things you say you don't want in a woman, let the right woman bring those things ... and you'll be asking for extra servings of that stuff! :kiss:

uhhh ... did i say thank you for the compliments ... :wink:

Love You!

:heart:

Destee

I am not sure exactly what the hey is going on around here ( iam usually the last to know anyway..LOL)
but I have read a few of the post about leaving and not getting what they need
or being appauled by names used etc.
My comment is that sometime in life we must all move on and make changes in our lives.
Moving on should never be about negativetity but about positive growth for yourself.
If someone leaves because they are offended by something said or done then they are not prepared for life, because things will always be said and done that we may not like and may totally disagree with.
If it is time to leave for those I say farwell and good luck.
To those who are staying I say lets move on and continue to grow in strength,honesty and unity.

Yes Sister ... my point exactly ... let our comings and goings, be done in peace.

:heart:

Destee

I refer you to my husbands post entitled: "Degrees of Consciousness". I refer everyone to it because, it actually explains so much concerning this community and each and everyone of us here. Within the contents of his writing, we can see and understand where and why there are disagreements and energy displayed that may make us at times feel and think the way we may sometimes do.

Yes, we should all read it when we feel disressed, feel as if we can't take it no more or feel as if we're not understood. In the end we must look at ourselves as well as those around us.

Destee

Brother Ralfa'il ... i sincerely appreciate the love, confidence, and compliments you've given me ... thank you ...

but you are so full of yourself !!!!!

what the hey are you talking about ... i'm ultra attractive to you ???!!!

i don't think you know what kind of woman you want, or how to recognize her if you see her!

you said the following:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralfa'il
I'm sorry....

But if you're a strong independant woman, I have no need for you.



uhhhh Brother Ralfa'il ... i am a strong independent woman! ... duhhhh !!!!
First of all, what I found ultra-attractive was that you allowed some of your heart to open up and admit that you sometimes get discouraged and disheartened.

You admit that you have your weak moment, and I like it when women show a soft side.


Thanx for your response sis, but I'd like to respectfully disagree that you are a strong and independant woman.

That's not saying that you are a wimp or a pushover, but just fitting within your nature.

You are an intelligent and industrious woman mature of mind but that doesn't necessarily make you strong and independant in the common definition of the term. You obviously need love and support from others to keep going.

Look what you gave us of yourself:

"I was blessed with the most wonderful "Forum Leader." Her name was (is) Bree and she made working for her and the community such a joy. I felt like she was my Sister/Mother/Friend all wrapped up in one. So, when it came time for me to leave, telling her was very difficult. I didn't want to put her in a bind or disappoint her in any way. I stayed as long as i could, but the time finally came when i had to tell her it was time for me to move on."

Most strong hard-core independant men and women are so focused on building a career and climbing socially and financially that they could care less about leaving a person they've worked with. It's just anothe stepping stone as far as they're concerned.

They wouldn't have been so emotional and careful to please a friend in this manner regardless of what that friend did for them; trust me...I've met plenty of cold callous independant people.



and you know what else ... i said gosh up there ... but i can say a whole bunch of other stuff too !!!! ... just because you've never seen me carry on any other way ... does not mean i never have!

you feel me ???
Oh...I should "step back" because I don't KNOW you like that?

Come on sis....sure you could have used other words and be stone cold, but you haven't because it's not what you want to do.
Again, it's not in your nature to behave that way and that's what I mean.
You are mindful of your behavior and speech, and that's what we need.



so ... while i appreciate the comments ... please recognize that you can't judge a book by its cover ... all of my Sisters are models of Black Femininity !!!!
How can you say ALL sisters are models of black femininity?

I appreciate the love you have for all black people but I bet everyday driving you see women of ALL races that you wouldn't be caught dead dressing and behaving like.
That doesn't give anyone an automatic right to disrespect them or even condemn them. But as a young prospective black man, don't I have a right to expect more from my young women in general?
Shouldn't I want the best that I can get from them in behavior and ettiquette?




... and let me say too ... that when a woman meets a man ... a man that moves and excites her ... she will often give up saying and doing a whole lotta things ... and start saying and doing brand new stuff ... as a result of that complimentary motivation! In addition, the very things you say you don't want in a woman, let the right woman bring those things ... and you'll be asking for extra servings of that stuff!

uhhh ... did i say thank you for the compliments ...

Love You!
You're right...I've met plenty of women who had so many wonderful positives that I chose to overlook thier negatives. Nobody's perfect, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for perfection.

I love you too my caring, open-hearted, dependant on a loving family...sista.





...how she gonna sit up there and tell me who I'm attracted to?

lol Brother Ralfa'il ... * sigh * ... how did i know you'd not just say ... "Okay Destee, Thank You!"

We are all dependent to some degree upon others, so if i am not an independent woman because of my dependency on other people, then neither are you an independent man ... there are no independent people ... for there are some aspects of life, that requires all of us to depend on someone, sometime.

In regard to all Black Females being a reflection of Black Femininity ... how can they not be ??? ... the term "Black Female" says it all ... now you may not like all that you see, that encompasses "Black Femininity" but it all counts toward the whole.

Just because i didn't / don't type any cuss words ... i know how, and enjoy using such language when the opportunity presents itself! :) All you gotta do is come into voice chat (http://destee.com/chat), and catch me just right ... and your whole perception of me may change! :wink:

I was gonna invite you to come in now, but we were just in there and it kicked us out ... i'm not sure what's wrong with it, but it's not letting us back in right now. Hopefully it will be back up soon ... www.destee.com/chat

lol @ the whisper ... you're so krazee ... i enjoy you ... weird huh ??

:heart:

Destee

our voice chat is back up ... www.destee.com/chat

Just because i didn't / don't type any cuss words ... i know how, and enjoy using such language when the opportunity presents itself! :) All you gotta do is come into voice chat (http://destee.com/chat), and catch me just right ... and your whole perception of me may change! :wink:

I was gonna invite you to come in now, but we were just in there and it kicked us out ... i'm not sure what's wrong with it, but it's not letting us back in right now. Hopefully it will be back up soon ... www.destee.com/chat

Ralfa'il:

If you read between the lines sister Destee is inviting you into voicechat, so she can cuss you out!

Ralfa'il:

If you read between the lines sister Destee is inviting you into voicechat, so she can cuss you out!

lol Pan ... ssshhhhhhh ... you're gonna have him scared to come in !!! :)

:heart:

Destee

Ralfa'il:

If you read between the lines sister Destee is inviting you into voicechat, so she can cuss you out!


:lol: :lol: :lol:.....

:lol: :lol: :lol:.....

I'm surprised that went so long without being noticed!

Pan ... i didn't miss it ... see (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=335226&postcount=19) ... :)

:heart:

Destee

I don't understand why my statements were moved to a closed thread......

I had posed some statements and questions that I sincerely wanted to be addressed....Does this mean that my statements were not worthy of response, or dialogue on the matter?

If that is the case, then I am all the more saddened by this, on top of the situation.

You'll hear no further from me on this matter then.

PEACE

You'll hear no further from me on this matter then.

Thank you.

:heart:

Destee

Pan ... i didn't miss it ... see (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=335226&postcount=19) ... :)

:heart:

Destee

Oh yea...it seems I missed your response!

I don't understand why my statements were moved to a closed thread......

I had posed some statements and questions that I sincerely wanted to be addressed....Does this mean that my statements were not worthy of response, or dialog on the matter?

If that is the case, then I am all the more saddened by this, on top of the situation.

You'll hear no further from me on this matter then.

PEACE
i never got in the game because i never could figure out what the fight was about in the first place.
maybe it is time to move on.
in the future, i hope there will be discussion that i can understand.
this episode is both painful and perplexing to me.

i never got in the game because i never could figure out what the fight was about in the first place. maybe it is time to move on.
in the future, i hope there will be discussion that i can understand.
this episode is both painful and perplexing to me.

I wouldn't say it was painful as much as I would describe it as disappointing. However, I am in full agreement that this entire episode (across 3 threads) was quite perplexing!

i never got in the game because i never could figure out what the fight was about in the first place.
maybe it is time to move on.
in the future, i hope there will be discussion that i can understand.
this episode is both painful and perplexing to me.

Brother Elder, I will say that alot of this was blown out of proportion, because of the many individuals that threw themselves into the mix.

One of the issues that I have with this site, is that everything becomes a public spectacle, since certain issues cannot be resolved in private, unless you are a paying member.

Nonetheless, I think you are already aware of much of the situation--at least the crux of what caused key individuals to react the way they have.

However, beyond what I'd stated in the closed thread (please read that if you haven't already), I can explain it more in detail to you via e-mail at a later date, if you so wish.

PEACE

One of the issues that I have with this site ...

Brother SAMURAI ... with all due respect, you will not be allowed to go on and on about all the issues you have with this site. There is only so much of this i'm going to stand.

If you don't like it here, leave ... because you will not be allowed to tear us down, in our own house.

:heart:

Destee

Brother SAMURAI ... with all due respect, you will not be allowed to go on and on about all the issues you have with this site. There is only so much of this i'm going to stand.

If you don't like it here, leave ... because you will not be allowed to tear us down, in our own house.

:heart:

Destee

With all due respect sistah, I don't think Samurai is trying to tear us down at all. It looks like he's just trying to get some questions answered.

With all due respect sistah, I don't think Samurai is trying to tear us down at all. It looks like he's just trying to get some questions answered.

Brother Sekhemu ... with all due respect to you ... i've answered all the questions i'm gonna answer regarding this.

:heart:

Destee

Brother Sekhemu ... with all due respect to you ... i've answered all the questions i'm gonna answer regarding this.

:heart:

Destee


Alright, I hear ya'

Brother SAMURAI ... with all due respect, you will not be allowed to go on and on about all the issues you have with this site. There is only so much of this i'm going to stand.

This not only proves my point, but it leaves me confused about what precisely "this" is. The brother quoted me, and in response, I made a casual statement, nothing more. He and I have always had a good, civil dialogue, regardless if whether he and I always agree.

But fair enough, your point is heeded.

Speaking of which:

If you don't like it here, leave ... because you will not be allowed to tear us down, in our own house.

:heart:

Destee

I don't know who "US" and "OUR" is, as I have only taken issue with key individuals (whom do not an entire site make).

However, this is the second or third time in as many days that you've made this statement, indicating to me that--unless I am wrong--my presence is no longer welcomed.

This disappoints me, not because of the sentiment, but rather because that's all that you can bring yourself to reply with, despite the request made for open dialogue.

However, again your point is heeded.

PEACE

With all due respect sistah, I don't think Samurai is trying to tear us down at all. It looks like he's just trying to get some questions answered.


True indeed. But I'll cease and desist.

PEACE

Well let me be the first( I think) to say, Samurai, I hope you don't choose to leave the site brotha, speaking for myself, your knowledge, insight and wisdom will be sorely missed.

Ase

However, this is the second or third time in as many days that you've made this statement, indicating to me that--unless I am wrong--my presence is no longer welcomed.

Brother SAMURAI ... my having to repeatedly tell you the same thing, is an indication that you are breaking our peace ... forum rule # 1 (http://destee.com/rules) ... not that you are no longer welcome.

Unfortunately, continuing to break our peace ultimately means you're not welcome here.

So ... if there is not a change, i guess you're right ... sorta.

:heart:

Destee

Brother SAMURAI ... my having to repeatedly tell you the same thing, is an indication that you are breaking our peace ... forum rule # 1 (http://destee.com/rules) ... not that you are no longer welcome.

Unfortunately, continuing to break our peace ultimately means you're not welcome here.

So ... if there is not a change, i guess you're right ... sorta.

:heart:

Destee


From the looks of it, it appears that he decided to leave.

why don't we all move on to the next issue?

Destee

PanAfrica said: If you read between the lines sister Destee is inviting you into voicechat, so she can cuss you out!
Ahhh....tryna set a brutha up huh!!!



Sek

With all due respect sistah, I don't think Samurai is trying to tear us down at all. It looks like he's just trying to get some questions answered.
Man, you can't come to another person's site and harrass them or make them answer your questions, that not only shows disrespect but a lack of common sense.

What was the brutha thinking?

Anyway, if the he's really gone...I'd like to use that as an opportunity for us to patch things up.
I'm offering an olive-branch to you...again....will you accept?

I'd rather see Samurai stay on board so we can work things out.

James

can't we all just get along?
I'd rather see Samurai stay on board so we can work things out.
Well hell....you didn't mind seeing ME go a few weeks ago!!!!


But personally, I don't care to see the brutha leave either.

Unlike how him and some others feel about me, I don't necessarily desire to see anyone go or leave the community. As long as I have the ability to log on and off no one can bother me that much.

:flowers: :hearts4: Don't quit. You do an outstanding job. We need this website. We love you. Joy comes in the morning....

:flowers: :hearts4: Don't quit. You do an outstanding job. We need this website. We love you. Joy comes in the morning....

Brother Radical ... don't worry, i'll be here to the end ... i don't have the luxury of quitting.

Thanks for the love and encouragement Brother ... :love:

:heart:

Destee

PEACE TO ALL:

Earlier in this train of discussions, I used the analogy of America.

People often ask me, that if I have such grievances with this country, why do I continue to stay....

I tell them (from my rationalized mind) that it is not for the love of country that I do so, but because of the special people I've come to grow fond of and garner a great respect for--and only hoping that I have the honor of the mutual sentiment from them as well.

There are some very special people on this site, and leaving immediately would only miminalize my opportunities to connect with these individuals on a more personal level.

Thus, for the time being, I'm here, which will include, just as with America, abiding by any and all the "laws of the land"............


Even if I may not agree with them.

Now if you'll all excuse me, destiny awaits............



*presses button on Light Sabre--FZZSSHHHH.......*

Destee


Ahhh....tryna set a brutha up huh!!!



Sek


Man, you can't come to another person's site and harrass them or make them answer your questions, that not only shows disrespect but a lack of common sense.

What was the brutha thinking?

Anyway, if the he's really gone...I'd like to use that as an opportunity for us to patch things up.
I'm offering an olive-branch to you...again....will you accept?


I appreciate the gesture, but I'm gonna use a wait and see approach on this one.

I appreciate the gesture, but I'm gonna use a wait and see approach on this one.

"Such a wise and powerful Jedi you will become......"

"Such a wise and powerful Jedi you will become......"


Thank you brotha!

yes, we will have a new era of constructive engagement and progress.

kuumbaya!

:grouphug: :grouphug:

PEACE TO ALL:

Earlier in this train of discussions, I used the analogy of America.

People often ask me, that if I have such grievances with this country, why do I continue to stay....

I tell them (from my rationalized mind) that it is not for the love of country that I do so, but because of the special people I've come to grow fond of and garner a great respect for--and only hoping that I have the honor of the mutual sentiment from them as well.

There are some very special people on this site, and leaving immediately would only miminalize my opportunities to connect with these individuals on a more personal level.

Thus, for the time being, I'm here, which will include, just as with America, abiding by any and all the "laws of the land"............


Even if I may not agree with them.

Now if you'll all excuse me, destiny awaits............



*presses button on Light Sabre--FZZSSHHHH.......*

"Such a wise and powerful Jedi you will become......"

Brother SAMURAI ... it is nice that you've decided to stay and agree to the "laws of this land." But i must caution you that my patience has grown thin. I have spent quite a bit of time asking you to respect the peace we have here, and i won't continue doing it.

The reason i mention this is because of the comment you shared with Brother Sekhemu above. That discussion had nothing to do with you. Brother Ralfa'il offered Brother Sekhemu an olive branch, and he declined it. That really was the end of it ... but not for you.

You had to "jump in it" ... could not resist the opportunity it seems, to further demonstrate your dislike of this Brother. I'm glad Brother Ralfa'il didn't respond to it, which could have easily been more of the same we've experienced from both of you. I'm tired of it. The little jabs, attacks, insuations, drama, disruption ... i'm tired of it.

In a normal situation, the above would not warrant any comment from me ... but given all the disruption we've experienced as a result of your dislike for each other (or perhaps you him, or him you) ... this could not be ignored.

Brother SAMURAI ... i do want you with us ... but not at any cost.

I will not be posting to you again in this manner. The next time i see something that i feel is meant to break our peace (such as the above), you will be banned (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31792), with no fanfare.

I just don't want it to come as a surprise to you or anyone.

:heart:

Destee

Destee, I just came by to tell you i love you girl.....cuz it seems like you are going thru a lot of drama.


I come down to the forums from time to time to type quick little sentences nowadays(in the past, i sat back and discussed) But no matter how much i may have disagreed with the things that have been done in the past, i still wanted to let you know that i appricate what you do here

:heart:

SwtT

Brother SAMURAI ... it is nice that you've decided to stay and agree to the "laws of this land." But i must caution you that my patience has grown thin. I have spent quite a bit of time asking you to respect the peace we have here, and i won't continue doing it.

The reason i mention this is because of the comment you shared with Brother Sekhemu above. That discussion had nothing to do with you. Brother Ralfa'il offered Brother Sekhemu an olive branch, and he declined it. That really was the end of it ... but not for you.

You had to "jump in it" ... could not resist the opportunity it seems, to further demonstrate your dislike of this Brother. I'm glad Brother Ralfa'il didn't respond to it, which could have easily been more of the same we've experienced from both of you. I'm tired of it. The little jabs, attacks, insuations, drama, disruption ... i'm tired of it.

In a normal situation, the above would not warrant any comment from me ... but given all the disruption we've experienced as a result of your dislike for each other (or perhaps you him, or him you) ... this could not be ignored.

Brother SAMURAI ... i do want you with us ... but not at any cost.

I will not be posting to you again in this manner. The next time i see something that i feel is meant to break our peace, you will be banned (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31792), with no fanfare.

I just don't want it to come as a surprise to you or anyone.

:heart:

Destee


In all fairness to me, I neither declined or accepted the olive branch, I simply said that I'll wait and see before I make a decision.

Destee, I just came by to tell you i love you girl.....cuz it seems like you are going thru a lot of drama.


I come down to the forums from time to time to type quick little sentences nowadays(in the past, i sat back and discussed) But no matter how much i may have disagreed with the things that have been done in the past, i still wanted to let you know that i appricate what you do here

:heart:

SwtT

Thank you Sister SwtT ... :love:

We've been together awhile Sister, had our share of disagreements ... but we are still together! God is Good. That is really the important part, that we get over the mountains and through the valleys, so we can sit back and smile at the challenges of our journey we overcame together!

Thank you Sister, for not giving up on us ... for continuing to share your peace and love!

It's a blessing to have you here.

:heart:

Destee

In all fairness to me, I neither declined or accepted the olive branch, I simply said that I'll wait and see before I make a decision.

My apology Brother Sekhemu ... but if i offered someone an olive branch and they told me, what you told him ... i'd consider it rejected.

:heart:

Destee

My apology Brother Sekhemu ... but if i offered someone an olive branch and they told me, what you told him ... i'd consider it rejected.

:heart:

Destee

Sometimes we need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, just because someone offers you an olive branch doesn't mean the peace won't be broken.

Although I can respect your decision to admonish Samuarai for his remarks, his point was that he saw I made a wise decision before jumping the gun. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the peace has been broken before.

Sometimes we need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, just because someone offers you an olive branch doesn't mean the peace won't be broken.

Although I can respect your decision to admonish Samuarai for his remarks, his point was that he saw I made a wise decision before jumping the gun. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the peace has been broken before.

Brother Sekhemu ... you are free to accept, decline, or stay somewhere in the middle ... regarding any and all olive branches offered to you ... you don't have to justify your response to me.

Yes, our peace has been broken a few times over these many years, but it has not been allowed to remain broken, or be continuously broken by the same Member(s).

:heart:

Destee

Brother SAMURAI ... it is nice that you've decided to stay and agree to the "laws of this land." But i must caution you that my patience has grown thin. I have spent quite a bit of time asking you to respect the peace we have here, and i won't continue doing it.

The reason i mention this is because of the comment you shared with Brother Sekhemu above. That discussion had nothing to do with you. Brother Ralfa'il offered Brother Sekhemu an olive branch, and he declined it. That really was the end of it ... but not for you.

You had to "jump in it" ... could not resist the opportunity it seems, to further demonstrate your dislike of this Brother. I'm glad Brother Ralfa'il didn't respond to it, which could have easily been more of the same we've experienced from both of you. I'm tired of it. The little jabs, attacks, insuations, drama, disruption ... i'm tired of it.

In a normal situation, the above would not warrant any comment from me ... but given all the disruption we've experienced as a result of your dislike for each other (or perhaps you him, or him you) ... this could not be ignored.

Brother SAMURAI ... i do want you with us ... but not at any cost.

I will not be posting to you again in this manner. The next time i see something that i feel is meant to break our peace (such as the above), you will be banned (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=31792), with no fanfare.

I just don't want it to come as a surprise to you or anyone.

:heart:

Destee

DESTEE, it seems that you've come to the point of looking for reasons to do something, and reading far too much into something that really wasn't that serious.

I made the JEDI statement, in light of my statement just before it. In addition, my statement to SEK was out of the respect that he'd given me previously in this thread. It had nothing necessarily to do with any agreement between him and the other brother.

Also, SEK and I had a brief convo about STAR WARS in days past in another thread, so it was more of an inside joke, than anything else.

Also, I'd watched STAR WARS Episode 3 just last night/early this morning, so it was fresh on my mind.

Is there no room for levity around here anymore? :(

Somethings can be easily explained if just asked, without waving the discipline paddle around.

PEACE

Brother Sekhemu ... you are free to accept, decline, or stay somewhere in the middle ... regarding any and all olive branches offered to you ... you don't have to justify your response to me.

Yes, our peace has been broken a few times over these many years, but it has not been allowed to remain broken, or be continuously broken by the same Member(s).

:heart:

Destee


Glad to hear that, because there's a member in the religious/spiritual forum calling members bi%*hes and other words out of their names right this very moment.

Glad to hear that, because there's a member in the religious/spiritual forum calling members bi%*hes and other words out of their names right this very moment.

Brother Sekhemu ... who is the Member? Please share a link to that post / thread.

:heart:

Destee

Here is the thread:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34300&page=2

PEACE

Here is the thread:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34300&page=2

PEACE

Samurai, you don't win these fights with women, brother... You need to move on from this drama, so we can build something of value for our children... Drama is what stops African people from using our resources properly... We're to busy with the he-say, she-said to do anything serious...

Peace!
Isaiah

Samurai, you don't win these fights with women, brother... You need to move on from this drama, so we can build something of value for our children... Drama is what stops African people from using our resources properly... We're to busy with the he-say, she-said to do anything serious...

Peace!
Isaiah

I agree. I'm very saddened by the breakdown in communication. :(

PEACE

DESTEE, it seems that you've come to the point of looking for reasons to do something, and reading far too much into something that really wasn't that serious.

I made the JEDI statement, in light of my statement just before it. In addition, my statement to SEK was out of the respect that he'd given me previously in this thread. It had nothing necessarily to do with any agreement between him and the other brother.

Also, SEK and I had a brief convo about STAR WARS in days past in another thread, so it was more of an inside joke, than anything else.

Also, I'd watched STAR WARS Episode 3 just last night/early this morning, so it was fresh on my mind.

Is there no room for levity around here anymore? :(

Somethings can be easily explained if just asked, without waving the discipline paddle around.

PEACE

Brother SAMURAI ... while you say you were referencing something else, when speaking to Brother Sekhemu ... you clearly quoted him on the following:


I appreciate the gesture, but I'm gonna use a wait and see approach on this one.

"Such a wise and powerful Jedi you will become......"

Now, i guess you expect me to know that your mind was somewhere other than what your words indicated?!

I have invested all the time i'm going to, in trying to get you to help maintain our peace. From this point on, i will be going with what i think ... because i can do that ... and this is to caution you, that if it looks to me as though you are continuing to bring this disruptive Spirit to our community ... you will be banned.

:heart:

Destee

Samurai, you don't win these fights with women, brother...

Brother Isaiah ... so it's a woman thing now?!

I'm glad you know it's a fight you can't win.

:heart:

Destee

DESTEE, it seems that you've come to the point of looking for reasons to do something, and reading far too much into something that really wasn't that serious.

I made the JEDI statement, in light of my statement just before it. In addition, my statement to SEK was out of the respect that he'd given me previously in this thread. It had nothing necessarily to do with any agreement between him and the other brother.

Also, SEK and I had a brief convo about STAR WARS in days past in another thread, so it was more of an inside joke, than anything else.

Also, I'd watched STAR WARS Episode 3 just last night/early this morning, so it was fresh on my mind.

Is there no room for levity around here anymore? :(

Somethings can be easily explained if just asked, without waving the discipline paddle around.

PEACE
cut it out. stop. chill.
every body.

i said can't we all just get along.
am i speaking Greek or some esoteric language?
it any one had used the block function as i suggested you wouldn't be in this situation.
i get the impression that you brothers are not even trying.

one more time, explain why such highly read and knowledgeable black men have such a problem getting along?
i have asked this question ten times now without a highly educated and knowledgeable reply from anyone.
never mind, don't answer, just think about it.

Brother SAMURAI ... while you say you were referencing something else, when speaking to Brother Sekhemu ... you clearly quoted him on the following:

I quote any and everybody on message boards, that I'm directly speaking to.

For example, ISAIAH quoted me when he was speaking to me:

Quote:
Originally Posted by SAMURAI36
Here is the thread:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34300&page=2

PEACE



Samurai, you don't win these fights with women, brother... You need to move on from this drama, so we can build something of value for our children... Drama is what stops African people from using our resources properly... We're to busy with the he-say, she-said to do anything serious...

Peace!
Isaiah

As you can see, he quoted me about my post regarding the thread in which I supplied, but his message to me had nothing necessarily to do with that.

Prior to you posting in that thread, that thread had no women in it. So who/what was he talking about?

Now, i guess you expect me to know that your mind was somewhere other than what your words indicated?!

No, I would expect you to at least try to do what I've been asking you several times over, for the past couple of days to do: which is ASK me what my thoughts are.

I ask you several times for dialogue, and you instead give me the cold shoulder, and then put me on blast. :flamet:

You ignore me, until you feel the need to remind me that you would like ban me.

I'm only curious; why are channels for dialogue closed with you? :confused:

I have invested all the time i'm going to, in trying to get you to help maintain our peace. From this point on, i will be going with what i think ... because i can do that ...

It's really unfortunate that you would feel that way.

and this is to caution you, that if it looks to me as though you are continuing to bring this disruptive Spirit to our community ... you will be banned.
:heart:

Destee

With all due respect, you've said this already, and I've heard you the first few times that you said it.

You don't need to remind me that you are going to do something that is apparently already in your heart to do.

All I've continuously asked for from you is open discussion, something that you appear unwilling to bestowe.

So fair enough. Thy will be done.

PEACE

Wow, people really aren't listening. :(

I'm really very sorry, brother Elder.

But I'm guessing I won't be here much longer, one way or another.

PEACE

Wow, people really aren't listening. :(

I'm really very sorry, brother Elder.

But I'm guessing I won't be here much longer, one way or another.

PEACE
try to stop kicking Destee in the shins.
it works for me.

Thy will be done.

Thank You.

:heart:

Destee

Alright now,

Destee, James, Samurai, Isaiah, Ralf, all of us, let's drop it :wave: . Somebody close the thread if need be. Sometimes when people can't or won't see eye to eye, it's best to let it ride.

((scratches head))

OK????

I just log off for a few hours just to grab something to eat, come back home, take a shower....and when I log back on I find everybody banned!


After reading through the thread, I can see why "you know who" was banned, but what happened with Issa and Sek?

Never mind, I saw why in the other thread.

It appears that a spirit of madness must have landed over the religious section and all hell broke loose.




Destee

Thanx for noticing that the brother basically rejected my offer of peace sis....

I didn't think anyone noticed.

Regardless of what anyone thinks, I truly was serious about my offer.