Sisters and Brothers of Destee.Com

This is my final day of being at destee.com,I'm appalled at something here that has happened recently,and was the icing on the cake of other things that have gone on here. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I will not return,will not support this so called site that is supposed to uplift the family..the black race..I would state the stuff here but I'm not going to.
It was nice while it lasted. I hope you guys see the truth one day. Peace.
Samurai,Issael...you can email me. nappilyeverafterwithu@yahoo.com. Please Keep in touch with me, I would greatly appreciate it.

PEACE NISA:

I don't know that you will read this before your departure, but I will post it here anyway, as well as forwarding it to the e-mail address you were so kind to leave me/us.

I am so sorry that the things that you mention here (that I have noticed, along with others as well) have taken place.

But I admire your strength of resolve with regards to the matter. You've done what only a Black woman can:

Your leaving serves as an eye-opener for me, to the degree that I'm forced to evaluate my presence here, and the good it does, in the face of a SAVAGE that is allowed to run rampant.

I only hope that it does the very same for others here.

This is apparently the end of our time together here on DESTEE, but please know that this will not be the end of our acquaintance overall. You will know me, and I will know you for some time to come, Divine Willing.

In the meantime, you know where you can find an on-line home:

http://cradle2dagrave.proboards36.com

PEACE

Why go through such lengths to post that you are about to leave yet not specify the events that lead you in making that decision?

The only way for Destee.com to improve itself is for members to let the mods know where they felt it has gone wrong.

Wow, Nisa, what happened that would make you so upset??? This makes me somewhat upset, and I don't even know what happened!!! I am not happy with your decision to up and step off, and not tell us what is the matter... We have to place more faith in one another, and be patient with one another when things are said or done that hurt us, but are not life and death... I am just being honest... I do not accept your leaving without explaining what happened, and I say that because you are a GREAT sister, and a GREAT contributor to this board, and will be sorely missed... We cannot allow you to leave without a serious fight to keep you among us, know what I'm saying???
Now, come on back, and let's please try to work stuff out...


Peace!
Isaiah

Speaking on NISA's behalf:

The issues that she speaks of are ones that have been taking place for quite sometime.

One need only browse the forum in the most casual manner, and see the issues that take place. The moderators know about it, because they have addressed in numerous times as well, along with a couple of our Elders here.

It's ironic to me, that this event of our Beloved Sister leaving, was the culmination of the topic of "what is offensive".

I mayhaps address this specifically in the thread in which it began, but it seems to me that people are owed apologies around here, but are yet to receive them.

I am sorry that this wonderful Queen feels ostracized from here (and justifiably so).

PEACE

PEACE NISA:

I don't know that you will read this before your departure, but I will post it here anyway, as well as forwarding it to the e-mail address you were so kind to leave me/us.

I am so sorry that the things that you mention here (that I have noticed, along with others as well) have taken place.

But I admire your strength of resolve with regards to the matter. You've done what only a Black woman can:

Your leaving serves as an eye-opener for me, to the degree that I'm forced to evaluate my presence here, and the good it does, in the face of a SAVAGE that is allowed to run rampant.

I only hope that it does the very same for others here.

This is apparently the end of our time together here on DESTEE, but please know that this will not be the end of our acquaintance overall. You will know me, and I will know you for some time to come, Divine Willing.

In the meantime, you know where you can find an on-line home:

http://cradle2dagrave.proboards36.com

PEACE

Brother Samurai, no one here is a savage... I defended your right to critque Dr. King... I don't defend no one's right to call family members SAVAGE... That's uncalled for... We get into disagreements with one another, but no one is a SAVAGE up in here...

Peace!
Isaiah

PEACE ISAIAH:

Brother Samurai, no one here is a savage... I defended your right to critque Dr. King... I don't defend no one's right to call family members SAVAGE... That's uncalled for... We get into disagreements with one another, but no one is a SAVAGE up in here...

Peace!
Isaiah

I think the issue of who/what a savage is, needs to come into scrutiny before such a declaration can be made on your part.

Take it as you will, but sans NISA keeping her silence, it is the savage actions and statements of one individual that has brought her to her departure.

People say that they want explanations, yet are not comfortable with what they here.

I'm beginning to see through the irony of why this issue is as of yet unsolved.

Everything can be solved! This place is not perfect, yet it’s one place for Black people to care about one another. I said many things on here Brothers and Sisters can be mad about... I am quite aggressive at times, yet no one reject me. Sister Nisa stay! We need you here... don’t leave.

From the little bit I know you I dont want you to leave Nisa, youre pretty smart

The main problem that has arisen, is Destee not being offended by being called a negress. I won't support a site or someone who is not offended by it..if we are supposed to be uplifting our people. I've brought up other issues as far as moderation to her,and it was not addressed.She wants 10 dollars a month,but how can you be a negress and pro black. I won't support it. There is other factors involved,if you keep your eyes open. I'm sickened by it, I've wanted to end my membership before,and I came back...this is enough.
I can find a site where there intentions match their mindset.

Everything can be solved! This place is not perfect, yet it’s one place for Black people to care about one another. I said many things on here Brothers and Sisters can be mad about... I am quite aggressive at times, yet no one reject me. Sister Nisa stay! We need you here... don’t leave.


I know its not perfect, but im fed up..you can email me if you like.

Well I guess you could not get a goodbye letter since you aint a premium member.

The main problem that has arisen, is Destee not being offended by being called a negress. I won't support a site or someone who is not offended by it..if we are supposed to be uplifting our people. I've brought up other issues as far as moderation to her,and it was not addressed.She wants 10 dollars a month,but how can you be a negress and pro black. I won't support it. There is other factors involved,if you keep your eyes open. I'm sickened by it, I've wanted to end my membership before,and I came back...this is enough.
I can find a site where there intentions match their mindset.

Whether NISA stays or not, I would still like to see this issue addressed.

Please stay tuned for my upcoming post in the appropriate thread.

PEACE

Sister Nisa,

It’s Sister Destee choice to like to be called a 'negress' (if it's the case) not yours! It doesn’t change the fact she deserves respect because she is in service of Black people! It’s her choice not yours!

Speaking on NISA's behalf:

The issues that she speaks of are ones that have been taking place for quite sometime.

One need only browse the forum in the most casual manner, and see the issues that take place. The moderators know about it, because they have addressed in numerous times as well, along with a couple of our Elders here.

It's ironic to me, that this event of our Beloved Sister leaving, was the culmination of the topic of "what is offensive".

I mayhaps address this specifically in the thread in which it began, but it seems to me that people are owed apologies around here, but are yet to receive them.

I am sorry that this wonderful Queen feels ostracized from here (and justifiably so).

PEACE
Alright, brother, I guess this stuff will all come out in the wash... I am not familiar with this thread, nor the "savage" things that were said to our sister, but she knows I would certainly have addressed the perpetrator myself if I thought they crossed a line...

I realize that some folks who come up in here are perverted and sick, but most of us are just good people wanting to communicate with good people - Good African people... Destee should not always have to call idiots to task if we police them ourselves... Too many people are posting here for her to read each and every last post... BTW, don't we have a function to block off knuckleheads whom we do not want to read??? Is that not an option for our sister???

Peace!
Isaiah

Also where is the business site...if Destee owns a business...I mean I would think it would help her if she posted it...Im not for supporting someone else...if they aren't honest. I question if i'm providing income or supporting a site...
The moderation...brothers..no offense to you..get away with alot of stuff..that if the sisters said..they would be banned...seems like trying to get approval from men...the desperation is rediculous...

I'm not afraid to speak the truth.

Whether NISA stays or not, I would still like to see this issue addressed.

Please stay tuned for my upcoming post in the appropriate thread.

PEACE

Whaaaaa??? What the hell is happening, here??? First it is about SAVAGE individuals, now Destee's choice to call herself a Negress - which I cannot believe she would say that knowing the meaning of that word... Oh, my, I am getting a headache, now... I got's to leave for home now... Hope this thing doesn't blow off the hook without us finding some resolution...

Peace!
Isaiah

Yes, Sister Nisa I can email you! I’ve been trying to become a premium member but I am unable to! The subscription pages are not working on my computer. Don’t give up the fight Sister. Black woman be strong!

It's not her choice..that bothers me..its how the h e l l can you be problack and ...not have a problem with being called a negress...thats so **** contradictory i could scream.

I am very surprised that after all the enjoyment that we have had on this site, it has to cool down like this. After all that we have learned from each other, WHO mentioned that it is necessary to leave somewhere without saying why?

I was planning on celebrating my 1st year Anniversary as a Destee Family Member, but this thread has taken my attention over that.

Nisa:

You are a very good person. I am not lying by saying that, because the Devil is the liar; I play no part in that. As a good person, I would think that you would be able to work your problems out with US; YOU HAVE BEEN HERE FOR ABOUT A YEAR! After all this time, this is how you felt?

I hope you do not mind, but I will SURELY e-mail you the rest.

CD

I am very surprised that after all the enjoyment that we have had on this site, it has to cool down like this. After all that we have learned from each other, WHO mentioned that it is necessary to leave somewhere without saying why?

I was planning on celebrating my 1st year Anniversary as a Destee Family Member, but this thread has taken my attention over that.

Nisa:

You are a very good person. I am not lying by saying that, because the Devil is the liar; I play no part in that. As a good person, I would think that you would be able to work your problems out with US; YOU HAVE BEEN HERE FOR ABOUT A YEAR! After all this time, this is how you felt?

I hope you do not mind, but I will SURELY e-mail you the rest.

CD


I know i have been here for about a year, and ive kept trying to deal with it.But the truth has come to light..and will follow that light...

It's not her choice..that bothers me..its how the h e l l can you be problack and ...not have a problem with being called a negress...thats so **** contradictory i could scream.

..........You can be offended by something and NOT post your thoughts on the Internet!

By the way, no matter where you go, the Demons will follow you! (Internet insultors)

CD

..........You can be offended by something and NOT post your thoughts on the Internet!

By the way, no matter where you go, the Demons will follow you! (Internet insultors)

CD
Well i needed to say it..plus lol..you know what nevermind..yall will see what happens

Well i needed to say it..plus lol..you know what nevermind..yall will see what happens

What happens here at Destee happens JUST as worse on other sites. If you are not coming back, we REALLY need to stay in touch!

We want to work with you Nisa! Taking off without clearly letting us know what really hurt you will not solve any problems.

CD

To all those curious, please see the thread directly below this one.

What happens here at Destee happens JUST as worse on other sites. If you are not coming back, we REALLY need to stay in touch!

We want to work with you Nisa! Taking off without clearly letting us know what really hurt you will not solve any problems.

CD


No it's not. Do you have yahoo?

No it's not. Do you have yahoo?

My Yahoo! E-Mail is:

cedricdenson@yahoo.com

Keep in touch....IF you are not leaving.

CD

i use Negro all the time.
am i now insulting people?

this sounds too deep for me.
i tried to read the other thread and got a headache.

as far as i know Negro means black and Negress means a female black.
how is that an insult?

it sounds so silly, what am i missing?

On the internet, we have to deal with all types of ideas and personalities.

Nisa

I can't speak for Destee and whether or not she accepts being called a "negress" but would you abandon the black community because many of our people call themselves "n*gg*"?

Sis, you can't just let one particular thing piss you off and make you run away from the community. How would you ever be able to get along with our people enough to help build with them?

I don't like calling people African-American, because I DO NOT like being referred to as African-American.

Furthermore, I do not like it when people refer to each other as African-Americans, but I do not walk away from them and never speak to them again because of that. If Destee does not mind it, despite what I think, I must respect her.

CD

i use Negro all the time.
am i now insulting people?

this sounds too deep for me.
i tried to read the other thread and got a headache.

as far as i know Negro means black and Negress means a female black.
how is that an insult?

it sounds so silly, what am i missing?
I agree with you on this one. Words are words, and usually nothing else. It's the actions that really count.

nisa is upset because ralfa'il called destee a negress?
is she actually mad at ralfa'il?

BTW - Ralfa'il, for one human being you start more fights and disputes than anyone i have ever seen in my life.
are you really intent on tearing this place apart?
i'm not mad at you but i do like this place and i hate to see it rocked with spasms all the time.
being the great man that you are, surely you must take notice of all the trouble that you generate?
are you ever going to make a contribution?

i think nisa has handled herself in an immature manner.
i just spent a half hour figuring out what she was so offended by.

it's beginning to seem as though negroes just can not get along with each other.
no one is willing to bend to the common good.

James

nisa is upset because ralfa'il called destee a negress?
is she actually mad at ralfa'il?
Well since Destee said she didn't see anything wrong with the word negro I jokingly asked her would she mind being called a "fiiiiiine negress".

But her and Nisa had tussled with that before I even entered the picture.

But after my post Sam jumped in and both of them started pushing it....

and pushing it.....

and pushing it.....

And starting threads on it...

and just wouldn't let it go.


Look at this:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34832&page=4&pp=10

Before I even entered the picture she was going on about it with Destee.




BTW - Ralfa'il, for one human being you start more fights and disputes than anyone i have ever seen in my life.
are you really intent on tearing this place apart?
i'm not mad at you but i do like this place and i hate to see it rocked with spasms all the time.
being the great man that you are, surely you must take notice of all the trouble that you generate?
are you ever going to make a contribution?
Hey bro, I just give my opinions...

There are a million different beliefs in the black community and we have to learn to work with them.

If you notice in all of the conflicts I've been in, I almost never start them.

I'm always having to defend my beliefs against those who refuse to acknowledge or accept them.

But most of it started with Sam and since he's so more articulate than I he can convince people, especially when their views are opposite of mine in the first place.



i think nisa has handled herself in an immature manner.
i just spent a half hour figuring out what she was so offended by.

it's beginning to seem as though negroes just can not get along with each other.
no one is willing to bend to the common good.
Well, like I said if she's so angry about the somebody using the word "negress" then she should be stark raving mad at us calling eachother n*ggga all day long up and down the street.

Destee is a saint.
i am not.

i am calling ALL of you out. ALL of you.
do you want a site or not?

i am getting tired of baby sitting a bunch of grown assed people.
do you want to be here or not?
all of you, go back and read the rules.

a real man stands up and takes responsibility.
now who is willing to say what THEIR responsibility has been?
i'm listening!

if you can't stand each other just use the block function on the profile.

Well I guess you could not get a goodbye letter since you aint a premium member.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

i use Negro all the time.
am i now insulting people?

this sounds too deep for me.
i tried to read the other thread and got a headache.

as far as i know Negro means black and Negress means a female black.
how is that an insult?

it sounds so silly, what am i missing?


==============

I think later we should all attack the United Negro College Fund for using that name..

"Negro" generally is considered acceptable in only a historical context or in the name of older organizations, as in the United Negro College Fund, and is in more common use among those born before the post World War II baby boom.

Your right James.. but Negress includes sexism.
Someone said it wasn't used as much any more.. they were correct.

Noun: Negress neegris
A Black woman or girl
Type of: Black, Black person, Negro, Negroid

================

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negress

A specifically female form of the word—negress—was sometimes used; but, like another gender-specific word "Jewess", it has all but completely fallen from use. Both are considered racist and sexist.


================

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexism

Sexism is discrimination against people based on their sex rather than their individual merits.

Sexism can refer to three subtly different beliefs or attitudes:

The belief that one sex is superior to the other.
The belief that men and women are very different and that this should be strongly reflected in society, language, the right to have sex, and the law.
It can also refer to simple hatred of men (misandry) or women (misogyny).




Encyclopedia: Negress

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Money.. we gonna take your :lol: :lol: :lol: smilie away... :lol: :lol: :lol:

I don’t understand. In the midst of all this, I see so many superiority complexes, I don’t know what to do with myself. Everyone is so quick to judge, when we must remember that these are only opinions. We talk of trying to do better for ourselves, yet we can barely tolerate the thoughts and opinions of those among us here at Destee. There is a difference between correcting someone, and calling them out on their thoughts, or information that they’ve decided to share. I agree, we are a frustrating people and sometimes we can become intolerable. In which case, we should take a break and come back. It’s ok to give an opinion, but becomes unfair when you claim it is wrong. An opinion is a sharing of personal thought and experience. I can understand Destee’s and Nisa’s viewpoints, but it became unfair; wrong even for Nisa to challenge Destee’s personal thought with a threat/promise to leave. Is that really fair? I can also understand Nisa’s sentiments about Destee being problack but support something Nisa and a few others finds degrading to our race. Does Destee really have to apologize for the way she feels to appease someone else? One reason I don’t post is because I’m afraid of scrutiny from those that claim to be more intelligent then the average person. I am not disputing whether they are/are not intelligent, nor do I feel myself ignorant, but it shouldn’t prevent me from sharing myself with the destee community. We continually try to weed out the intellectual from the ignorant. I notice that in many threads. All we do is judge each other. I’m open to all forms of opinion because it’s up to me to except them or not. If I don’t, I won’t dispute it. I’ll just go on my merry little way and be satisfied with what I know to be true to/for me.

The main problem that has arisen, is Destee not being offended by being called a negress. I won't support a site or someone who is not offended by it..if we are supposed to be uplifting our people. I've brought up other issues as far as moderation to her,and it was not addressed.She wants 10 dollars a month,but how can you be a negress and pro black. I won't support it. There is other factors involved,if you keep your eyes open. I'm sickened by it, I've wanted to end my membership before,and I came back...this is enough.
I can find a site where there intentions match their mindset.
thats why your leaving. It sucks that your leaving but goodbye man you taught me a lot of stuff you and Cedric Denson. P.E.A.C.E and I dont have to pay im not a paying member man

I don’t understand. In the midst of all this, I see so many superiority complexes, I don’t know what to do with myself. Everyone is so quick to judge, when we must remember that these are only opinions. We talk of trying to do better for ourselves, yet we can barely tolerate the thoughts and opinions of those among us here at Destee. There is a difference between correcting someone, and calling them out on their thoughts, or information that they’ve decided to share. I agree, we are a frustrating people and sometimes we can become intolerable. In which case, we should take a break and come back. It’s ok to give an opinion, but becomes unfair when you claim it is wrong. An opinion is a sharing of personal thought and experience. I can understand Destee’s and Nisa’s viewpoints, but it became unfair; wrong even for Nisa to challenge Destee’s personal thought with a threat/promise to leave. Is that really fair? I can also understand Nisa’s sentiments about Destee being problack but support something Nisa and a few others finds degrading to our race. Does Destee really have to apologize for the way she feels to appease someone else? One reason I don’t post is because I’m afraid of scrutiny from those that claim to be more intelligent then the average person. I am not disputing whether they are/are not intelligent, nor do I feel myself ignorant, but it shouldn’t prevent me from sharing myself with the destee community. We continually try to weed out the intellectual from the ignorant. I notice that in many threads. All we do is judge each other. I’m open to all forms of opinion because it’s up to me to except them or not. If I don’t, I won’t dispute it. I’ll just go on my merry little way and be satisfied with what I know to be true to/for me.

That was well put and I couldn't agree more. When I first discovered this site I was so excite and spent more time than I really should have (I had other things that I really should've been taking care of) logging in. Now I only log in a couple times a week, if that. A lot of people seem to forget that we're all entitled to our opinions and take things to the extreme when they disagree. A lot of threads end up sounding very much like arguments than friendly debates. It makes me think that it's a good thing we're only on the computer because face to face a fist fight would probably erupt. Sometime I just want to say "Lighten up, ya'll!"

Are you happy the frog got back his log

[QUOTE=Froggy1]thats why your leaving. It sucks that your leaving but goodbye man you taught me a lot of stuff you and Cedric Denson. P.E.A.C.E and I dont have to pay im not a paying member man[/QUOTE

Perhaps, you need to hat up, with your instigating self... We don't need you feeding the drama up in here... Don't chase a contributor away while bragging about your not contributing a red nickel, or any kinda common sense... whew!

Peace!
Isaiah

..........I’m afraid of scrutiny from those that claim to be more intelligent then the average person............
after this thread you should not have to worry about that.
if we are so smart, why can't we get along?

people, do you want to have a site or not?
every one has said what the other guy does wrong, i'm still waiting to hear someone take responsibility for their OWN stuff.

Hello Family,

I am surprised and disappointed at all of this.

Brother BioRhythm said the following:


we should not let the dispute of a mere word seperate us and slow the ascension of our people.

Simply amazing, all of this over one word.

There are quite a few posts in this thread, and i won't be responding to each one. I'm really not interested in replying to any of this, as i've said most everything i have to say, and i stand by those words ... but since it's all been brought to head here, and has the Family in a tizzy ... i'll try to make some sense of it.

First, let me thank Brother Ralfa'il for directing you all to the posts / threads that got this all started ... i just didn't have the wherewithal to address it, when this first got started. As he said, this whole "negroe" talk started with Sister Nisa (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=326712&postcount=24) requesting that the word "Negroe" be added to the banned word list. I did not agree with her then, and i do not agree with her now.

It seems there is some concern, by Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI, that i was not offended by Brother Ralfa'il's comments (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=334250&postcount=41) ... yet they go on to offend me themselves. Yes, i am offended at what Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI have outright said and implied.

I'm not sure what exactly this is all rooted in, surely it can't be about a word.

Sister Nisa said the following, in response to my not changing my opinion, to match hers:


Okayee..welp...that bothers me that it doesnt bother you..welp to each its own..i'll stay on my side of the fence..and move on to a different site. I cant see myself being involved on a site better yet monetarily support a site,where the administrator isn't bothered by being called a negress..but at the same time wants to uplift her people..thats just plain backwards.

I responded that we would miss her, and God Bless. Brother SAMURAI took offense to that! Suggesting that i should have done or said something more. Family, i'm really shaking my head at all of this, i can't believe i'm having to explain every move i make ... *sigh* ... but if it will make things more clear, no matter how tired i am ... i will do this.

For the record, this is not the first time (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33725) that Sister Nisa has threatened to leave us. At that time, i tried to encourage her to remain, and it obviously worked. Perhaps not what i said, but what someone else said ... i don't know ... i do know she didn't leave.

I'm not especially moved by folk saying they're gonna leave this community. I've been here since day one, and there are more threads than i can count, of folk posting about how they're gonna leave and never come back and they never leave, or return soon after they leave, or under some other name(s) ... lurking around because this is really where they want to be. If they're not still here, wherever they are, we're the topic. It just does not move me, alarm me, or make me go into alert mode. The same way folk walk into this community, they are free to walk out. I cannot spend lots of time trying to convince someone that this is where they need to be. I won't do that. There are enough folk here, that want to be here, for me to concern myself with. I just don't have the energy to put into convincing folk that they need to be here ... for that may not be the truth ... this may be the last place they need to be ... and if that's what they think, i will honor it.

I wished her and everyone who leaves us well. She is no exception ... and for the record ... even Premium Members don't get goodbye letters from me.

Brother SAMURAI ... you too have mentioned your dissatisfaction with this community, and all i can suggest is that you go where your Spirit leads you. I have said a zillion times, we never claimed to be all things to all people. If we're not what you want, please don't stay. These threats of leaving are ridiculous and i've never really understood them. Why do people do this? Threaten to leave for days and days and days, yet never do it? Is this some effort to gain attention (if so, i guess it works)? Is there where we are suppose to step in and beg you to stay? If you want to leave, just leave. I have never understood the parade folk try to make out of such decisions.

Anyway ... like i said, i'm not sure what this is rooted in.

Sister Nisa made some accusations toward me, that i found quite offensive (ironic since she claims to be concerned about me being offended):

I've brought up other issues as far as moderation to her,and it was not addressed.

This is absolutely not true, and i challenge you Sister Nisa to present the issue you brought to me, that i did not address.


She wants 10 dollars a month,but how can you be a negress and pro black. I won't support it.

Also where is the business site...if Destee owns a business...I mean I would think it would help her if she posted it...Im not for supporting someone else...if they aren't honest.

I question if i'm providing income or supporting a site...

The moderation...brothers..no offense to you..get away with alot of stuff..that if the sisters said..they would be banned...seems like trying to get approval from men...the desperation is rediculous...

The above posts really puzzle me, because Sister Nisa, you have never given a dime to help support this community. Not one! What are you talking about?! You have been here for almost a year, taking full advantage of all that we offer, never paying a dime and no one ever making you feel uncomfortable because you don't. We have even given you (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=316002&postcount=17), and others, the opportunity to win Premium Memberships! We give Premium Memberships away! I happen to know that there is a Brother here who paid for you to have a Premium Membership, out of his own pocket! And you come and post this foolishness about me, and the character and integrity of this community and what we're doing here!?! How dare you?!

I have stood up for you, both publicly and privately. I have defended you at every turn. And all the time you have these kind of thoughts about me? Sister, while you are worrying about someone else offending me ... please know that it is you who has offended me!

Brother SAMURAI ... since you have jumped all in this, claiming to know what's going on ... let me let you know, that you do not know! You go on and on about Brother Ralfa'il, but i have spent quite a bit of time trying to correct your behavior in this community ... not just Brother Ralfa'il's. You have offended me because you are talking about me, and this community while not knowing every particular interaction that has taken place between Sister Nisa and i. You can't know, because i don't know ... and i was present at every word exchanged between Sister Nisa and myself since she joined this community! How can you know what i don't know, and i was there?!!! You're doing too much Brother.

I really feel like closing this thread, but i won't.

I'll probably not respond to it anymore, 'cause i'm tired.

Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI ... i wish you both well ... wherever you decide to spend your time.

Much Love and Peace Family.

:heart:

Destee

small things as this what makes us continue to struggle
for all whom question destee.com it's one of the lifting places
we have and can be open and our selves as people we will face
all kind of things cross the net yet we also know how to not feed
into drama which seemly we can't help , it's not a part of us , we
debate and fight as people on many issues before we give a thought
of what the next person is trying to say surely destee can handle her
own so many of us just won't come to terms to unify self but everyone
has that right and choice .

for those whom are departing our home i like to wish you well & may we meet
again .

Money.. we gonna take your :lol: :lol: :lol: smilie away... :lol: :lol: :lol:

They've already done that one time, bruh. Hell, I have my rights. I paid for Premium Membership. :D :lol:

And, btw, you know darn well that was funny as heck. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Shooo, if I leave, I want my complementary goodbye letter. :D

I don’t understand. In the midst of all this, I see so many superiority complexes, I don’t know what to do with myself. Everyone is so quick to judge, when we must remember that these are only opinions. We talk of trying to do better for ourselves, yet we can barely tolerate the thoughts and opinions of those among us here at Destee. There is a difference between correcting someone, and calling them out on their thoughts, or information that they’ve decided to share. I agree, we are a frustrating people and sometimes we can become intolerable. In which case, we should take a break and come back. It’s ok to give an opinion, but becomes unfair when you claim it is wrong. An opinion is a sharing of personal thought and experience. I can understand Destee’s and Nisa’s viewpoints, but it became unfair; wrong even for Nisa to challenge Destee’s personal thought with a threat/promise to leave. Is that really fair? I can also understand Nisa’s sentiments about Destee being problack but support something Nisa and a few others finds degrading to our race. Does Destee really have to apologize for the way she feels to appease someone else? One reason I don’t post is because I’m afraid of scrutiny from those that claim to be more intelligent then the average person. I am not disputing whether they are/are not intelligent, nor do I feel myself ignorant, but it shouldn’t prevent me from sharing myself with the destee community. We continually try to weed out the intellectual from the ignorant. I notice that in many threads. All we do is judge each other. I’m open to all forms of opinion because it’s up to me to except them or not. If I don’t, I won’t dispute it. I’ll just go on my merry little way and be satisfied with what I know to be true to/for me.

Well said...and may GOD bless you and your decendents. :grouphug:

Hello Family,

I am surprised and disappointed at all of this.

Brother BioRhythm said the following:




Simply amazing, all of this over one word.

There are quite a few posts in this thread, and i won't be responding to each one. I'm really not interested in replying to any of this, as i've said most everything i have to say, and i stand by those words ... but since it's all been brought to head here, and has the Family in a tizzy ... i'll try to make some sense of it.

First, let me thank Brother Ralfa'il for directing you all to the posts / threads that got this all started ... i just didn't have the wherewithal to address it, when this first got started. As he said, this whole "negroe" talk started with Sister Nisa (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=326712&postcount=24) requesting that the word "Negroe" be added to the banned word list. I did not agree with her then, and i do not agree with her now.

It seems there is some concern, by Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI, that i was not offended by Brother Ralfa'il's comments (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=334250&postcount=41) ... yet they go on to offend me themselves. Yes, i am offended at what Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI have outright said and implied.

I'm not sure what exactly this is all rooted in, surely it can't be about a word.

Sister Nisa said the following, in response to my not changing my opinion, to match hers:




I responded that we would miss her, and God Bless. Brother SAMURAI took offense to that! Suggesting that i should have done or said something more. Family, i'm really shaking my head at all of this, i can't believe i'm having to explain every move i make ... *sigh* ... but if it will make things more clear, no matter how tired i am ... i will do this.

For the record, this is not the first time (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33725) that Sister Nisa has threatened to leave us. At that time, i tried to encourage her to remain, and it obviously worked. Perhaps not what i said, but what someone else said ... i don't know ... i do know she didn't leave.

I'm not especially moved by folk saying they're gonna leave this community. I've been here since day one, and there are more threads than i can count, of folk posting about how they're gonna leave and never come back and they never leave, or return soon after they leave, or under some other name(s) ... lurking around because this is really where they want to be. If they're not still here, wherever they are, we're the topic. It just does not move me, alarm me, or make me go into alert mode. The same way folk walk into this community, they are free to walk out. I cannot spend lots of time trying to convince someone that this is where they need to be. I won't do that. There are enough folk here, that want to be here, for me to concern myself with. I just don't have the energy to put into convincing folk that they need to be here ... for that may not be the truth ... this may be the last place they need to be ... and if that's what they think, i will honor it.

I wished her and everyone who leaves us well. She is no exception ... and for the record ... even Premium Members don't get goodbye letters from me.

Brother SAMURAI ... you too have mentioned your dissatisfaction with this community, and all i can suggest is that you go where your Spirit leads you. I have said a zillion times, we never claimed to be all things to all people. If we're not what you want, please don't stay. These threats of leaving are ridiculous and i've never really understood them. Why do people do this? Threaten to leave for days and days and days, yet never do it? Is this some effort to gain attention (if so, i guess it works)? Is there where we are suppose to step in and beg you to stay? If you want to leave, just leave. I have never understood the parade folk try to make out of such decisions.

Anyway ... like i said, i'm not sure what this is rooted in.

Sister Nisa made some accusations toward me, that i found quite offensive (ironic since she claims to be concerned about me being offended):



This is absolutely not true, and i challenge you Sister Nisa to present the issue you brought to me, that i did not address.










The above posts really puzzle me, because Sister Nisa, you have never given a dime to help support this community. Not one! What are you talking about?! You have been here for almost a year, taking full advantage of all that we offer, never paying a dime and no one ever making you feel uncomfortable because you don't. We have even given you (http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=316002&postcount=17), and others, the opportunity to win Premium Memberships! We give Premium Memberships away! I happen to know that there is a Brother here who paid for you to have a Premium Membership, out of his own pocket! And you come and post this foolishness about me, and the character and integrity of this community and what we're doing here!?! How dare you?!

I have stood up for you, both publicly and privately. I have defended you at every turn. And all the time you have these kind of thoughts about me? Sister, while you are worrying about someone else offending me ... please know that it is you who has offended me!

Brother SAMURAI ... since you have jumped all in this, claiming to know what's going on ... let me let you know, that you do not know! You go on and on about Brother Ralfa'il, but i have spent quite a bit of time trying to correct your behavior in this community ... not just Brother Ralfa'il's. You have offended me because you are talking about me, and this community while not knowing every particular interaction that has taken place between Sister Nisa and i. You can't know, because i don't know ... and i was present at every word exchanged between Sister Nisa and myself since she joined this community! How can you know what i don't know, and i was there?!!! You're doing too much Brother.

I really feel like closing this thread, but i won't.

I'll probably not respond to it anymore, 'cause i'm tired.

Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI ... i wish you both well ... wherever you decide to spend your time.

Much Love and Peace Family.

:heart:

Destee

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Glad that you responded, Destee, and you sho did bring major CLARITY(for EMPHASIS, brother Samurai)in doing so... You should close this bad boy down, because you deserve the last word on this B.S. drama...

I peeped that there was somethin' else goin' on behind the curtains on this riff, and that has been substantiated... I'm movin' on to higher ground, away from this bayou swamp with the snakes all up in it...

Peace!
Isaiah

small things as this what makes us continue to struggle
for all whom question destee.com it's one of the lifting places
we have and can be open and our selves as people we will face
all kind of things cross the net yet we also know how to not feed
into drama which seemly we can't help , it's not a part of us , we
debate and fight as people on many issues before we give a thought
of what the next person is trying to say surely destee can handle her
own so many of us just won't come to terms to unify self but everyone
has that right and choice .

for those whom are departing our home i like to wish you well & may we meet
again .

AMEN RA. :D

Brother SAMURAI ... since you have jumped all in this, claiming to know what's going on ... let me let you know, that you do not know! You go on and on about Brother Ralfa'il, but i have spent quite a bit of time trying to correct your behavior in this community ... not just Brother Ralfa'il's. You have offended me because you are talking about me, and this community while not knowing every particular interaction that has taken place between Sister Nisa and i. You can't know, because i don't know ... and i was present at every word exchanged between Sister Nisa and myself since she joined this community! How can you know what i don't know, and i was there?!!! You're doing too much Brother.

I really feel like closing this thread, but i won't.

I'll probably not respond to it anymore, 'cause i'm tired.

Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI ... i wish you both well ... wherever you decide to spend your time.

Much Love and Peace Family.

:heart:

Destee



Now, I had to post to this. This was TOO funny. I'm still laughing. However, I do realize that this is a serious matter.However, I do have the right to laugh and I had to. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Naw, let me shut up before I get chump off too by Destee. For real though, I would like to congratulate Destee on how she handled that. I would have chumped him off too but with a lot more different words. It would have been, "Beep" and you "beep" and if you ever show you "beep". LOL. There have been a lot of people who have wanted to leave. I, myself, was once a person who wanted to leave. It wasn't all that deep with me though. I just was mad cuz wasn't no one posting to my stuff. But after a lot of talk and stuff from Destee and a number of other people I decided to stay becuz they let me know that it didn't matter. So, I have to stand by her side saying that she has convince a lot of people to stay her. But it comes to a point where people get tired. There are over 100 people here everytime I come here. Do you want her to convince all the people who decide to go away to stay? I think not. This whole thing was stupid. No, I won't say stupid because I don't won't to hurt anyone, especially not Nisa becuz that was my ro' dawg, but I will say that it was not cost for. Either way, Destee will still have her oppion and Nisa will have hers. BLAM!! As simple as that. That won't change either way. I still say it was funny though. I know somebody gotta to feel the same way. But let me stop, THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER HERE! WHO CARES IF SOMEONE GOT CHUMPED OFF WE MUST ALL BE ADULTS AND STOP ACTIN' LIKE CHILDREN! :nono:I KEEP TELLIN' YA'LL MUST I BE THE ONLY SANE PERSON AROUND HERE?? :nono:

I'm wondering if there is an agent provoking so much dissent here!

I'm wondering if there is an agent provoking so much dissent here!Why not? A group of Africans trying to get together to come to some sort of grip with the mess? Why wouldn't such an "agent provocateur" have some fun up in here?

I mean; it's not like it has never happened before, eh? And how is the BPP doing these days?

Nisa you can't leave! You droppin knowledge on the young frog

I'm wondering if there is an agent provoking so much dissent here!
apparently, it doesn't take much to start it.
why are we so quick to fight each other?
that is on us.

i don't notice anyone fighting the enemy.

My people, I still say that no matter what happens, yall are all I have.

I'm new to the site so my opnion isn't rooted in experience. But let me say that Destee is a moderator....mo-der-ra-tor. Her job here is to moderate. And she has been doing a hell of a job of bending over backwards trying to moderate. Destee should be able to decide what offends her without anyone else being offended by her choice. But remember, she is a moderator. It would make sense that she would try not to be offended by Ralfa'il's comment because she tries so hard to keep peace here. Destee I feel so sorry for you. I watch you work so hard so appease 100 different people and now they're mad because you don't engage in ***-for-tat arguements with a member. Nisa you are dead wrong for treating Destee like that. Your job is different from Destee's job. Destee is doing the best she can trying to keep the focus on the big picture. THE BIG PICTURE. Too many of us lose focus on the big picture. How do we heal wounds that are 700 years old? How can we learn to love ourselves properly? How do we begin to grow the belief that we don't need no white people assistance to reach our goals. How do we rebound from being victimized by the greatest crime in human history, and yet shed the victim mentality.

I've only been here a short time but I refuse to hide that fact that Rafla"il and Samurai seem to lose focus about the primary purpose of the site. Actually they both make many excellent posts and seem to be very knowledgable. But in my opinion you two guys let ego control you sometimes. I think that since both of you guys seem to be very smart, you sometimes take other opnions as an intellectual challenge that you have to defend against. Relax playa'. I see a lot of good from both of you. Let that goodness speak for itself.

Sunday morning I am graduating from DePaul University with a BS in Computer Science. One of the things I learned about the internet is that the net provides anonymity. It is well known that this anonymity causes people to do and say things on the internet that they might not otherwise do or say. Try to become self-aware to insure that when you say things you are not letting some exaggerated version of yourself loose on the net because you can do so anonymously.

If I have offended anyone I apologize in advance. That was not my intent.

Umoja Sasa
Malik

My people, I still say that no matter what happens, yall are all I have.

I'm new to the site so my opnion isn't rooted in experience. But let me say that Destee is a moderator....mo-der-ra-tor. Her job here is to moderate. And she has been doing a hell of a job of bending over backwards trying to moderate. Destee should be able to decide what offends her without anyone else being offended by her choice. But remember, she is a moderator. It would make sense that she would try not to be offended by Ralfa'il's comment because she tries so hard to keep peace here. Destee I feel so sorry for you. I watch you work so hard so appease 100 different people and now they're mad because you don't engage in ***-for-tat arguements with a member. Nisa you are dead wrong for treating Destee like that. Your job is different from Destee's job. Destee is doing the best she can trying to keep the focus on the big picture. THE BIG PICTURE. Too many of us lose focus on the big picture. How do we heal wounds that are 700 years old? How can we learn to love ourselves properly? How do we begin to grow the belief that we don't need no white people assistance to reach our goals. How do we rebound from being victimized by the greatest crime in human history, and yet shed the victim mentality.

I've only been here a short time but I refuse to hide that fact that Rafla"il and Samurai seem to lose focus about the primary purpose of the site. Actually they both make many excellent posts and seem to be very knowledgable. But in my opinion you two guys let ego control you sometimes. I think that since both of you guys seem to be very smart, you sometimes take other opnions as an intellectual challenge that you have to defend against. Relax playa'. I see a lot of good from both of you. Let that goodness speak for itself.

Sunday morning I am graduating from DePaul University with a BS in Computer Science. One of the things I learned about the internet is that the net provides anonymity. It is well known that this anonymity causes people to do and say things on the internet that they might not otherwise do or say. Try to become self-aware to insure that when you say things you are not letting some exaggerated version of yourself loose on the net because you can do so anonymously.

If I have offended anyone I apologize in advance. That was not my intent.

Umoja Sasa
Malik


Congratulations on getting your degree Brotha!

My people, I still say that no matter what happens, yall are all I have.

I'm new to the site so my opnion isn't rooted in experience. But let me say that Destee is a moderator....mo-der-ra-tor. Her job here is to moderate. And she has been doing a hell of a job of bending over backwards trying to moderate. Destee should be able to decide what offends her without anyone else being offended by her choice. But remember, she is a moderator. It would make sense that she would try not to be offended by Ralfa'il's comment because she tries so hard to keep peace here. Destee I feel so sorry for you. I watch you work so hard so appease 100 different people and now they're mad because you don't engage in ***-for-tat arguements with a member. Nisa you are dead wrong for treating Destee like that. Your job is different from Destee's job. Destee is doing the best she can trying to keep the focus on the big picture. THE BIG PICTURE. Too many of us lose focus on the big picture. How do we heal wounds that are 700 years old? How can we learn to love ourselves properly? How do we begin to grow the belief that we don't need no white people assistance to reach our goals. How do we rebound from being victimized by the greatest crime in human history, and yet shed the victim mentality.

I've only been here a short time but I refuse to hide that fact that Rafla"il and Samurai seem to lose focus about the primary purpose of the site. Actually they both make many excellent posts and seem to be very knowledgable. But in my opinion you two guys let ego control you sometimes. I think that since both of you guys seem to be very smart, you sometimes take other opnions as an intellectual challenge that you have to defend against. Relax playa'. I see a lot of good from both of you. Let that goodness speak for itself.

Sunday morning I am graduating from DePaul University with a BS in Computer Science. One of the things I learned about the internet is that the net provides anonymity. It is well known that this anonymity causes people to do and say things on the internet that they might not otherwise do or say. Try to become self-aware to insure that when you say things you are not letting some exaggerated version of yourself loose on the net because you can do so anonymously.

If I have offended anyone I apologize in advance. That was not my intent.

Umoja Sasa
Malik

Thank you for this message brother Malik. It was quite timely and appropriate. Much of what you said was a mirror of my thoughts on this thread, and the negative thoughts expressed within. Your presence here is a blessing!

Malik

Peace

I'm new to the site so my opnion isn't rooted in experience. But let me say that Destee is a moderator....mo-der-ra-tor. Her job here is to moderate. And she has been doing a hell of a job of bending over backwards trying to moderate. Destee should be able to decide what offends her without anyone else being offended by her choice. But remember, she is a moderator. It would make sense that she would try not to be offended by Ralfa'il's comment because she tries so hard to keep peace here. Destee I feel so sorry for you. I watch you work so hard so appease 100 different people and now they're mad because you don't engage in ***-for-tat arguements with a member. Nisa you are dead wrong for treating Destee like that. Your job is different from Destee's job. Destee is doing the best she can trying to keep the focus on the big picture. THE BIG PICTURE. Too many of us lose focus on the big picture. How do we heal wounds that are 700 years old? How can we learn to love ourselves properly? How do we begin to grow the belief that we don't need no white people assistance to reach our goals. How do we rebound from being victimized by the greatest crime in human history, and yet shed the victim mentality.
I'm still trying to figure out how I managed to be centered in the conflict when they had been going rounds about the word negro before I even enter the picture:


http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34832&page=3&pp=10


I agree with you, Destee has a right to accept and reject whatever she wants, I know I wouldn't appreciate anybody trying to check me on MY site.

That's just plain common sense.


I've only been here a short time but I refuse to hide that fact that Rafla"il and Samurai seem to lose focus about the primary purpose of the site. Actually they both make many excellent posts and seem to be very knowledgable. But in my opinion you two guys let ego control you sometimes. I think that since both of you guys seem to be very smart, you sometimes take other opnions as an intellectual challenge that you have to defend against. Relax playa'. I see a lot of good from both of you. Let that goodness speak for itself.
I suspect it was the conflict between Sam and I that influenced him to fan the flames that had already existed in my direction and make a bigger issue out of it then it should have been. But Nisa is a grown woman and responsible for her own behavior and shouldn't have allowed one disagreement to make her run off and leave.



If I have offended anyone I apologize in advance. That was not my intent.
You haven't offended, just great observation skills....

Our people have to learn to get along with different and often conflicting idealogy instead of packing us all in one little neat box.

My great aunts and older relatives still use the word "colored" in refering to black people, but I don't fall out with them over it.

apparently, it doesn't take much to start it.
that is on us.
why are we so quick to fight each other?

i don't notice anyone fighting the enemy.


True, and sometimes the enemy is US!

Our people have to learn to get along with different and often conflicting idealogy instead of packing us all in one little neat box.



Certainly. However, a person committed to knowledge of self and the uplifting of the Black race can't accept anything that is self destructive, has traces of self hate or is laced with mentacide.

I've only been here a short time but I refuse to hide that fact that Rafla"il and Samurai seem to lose focus about the primary purpose of the site. Actually they both make many excellent posts and seem to be very knowledgeable. But in my opinion you two guys let ego control you sometimes. I think that since both of you guys seem to be very smart, you sometimes take other opinions as an intellectual challenge that you have to defend against. Relax playa'. I see a lot of good from both of you. Let that goodness speak for itself.

Rafla"il and Samurai have to decide if they want to harm the site or not.
do they want to keep a running battle going from thread to thread at the cost of disturbing every one.
what is most important to them?
i'm beginning to suspect that they really enjoy fighting more than anything else.
it is a choice.
they could block each other and not have to see or react to each other.
they chose to continue fighting no matter what the cost.

i am still waiting for a man to step forward and accept his own responsibility and then correct himself.

a person committed to knowledge of self and the uplifting of the Black race can't accept anything that is self destructive, has traces of self hate or is laced with mentacide.

if you are so smart show us how to stop fighting here.

However, a person committed to knowledge of self and the uplifting of the Black race can't accept anything that is self destructive, has traces of self hate or is laced with mentacide.

if you are so smart show us how to stop fighting here.

thats why your leaving. It sucks that your leaving but goodbye man you taught me a lot of stuff you and Cedric Denson. P.E.A.C.E and I dont have to pay im not a paying member man

I appreciate that Froggy. However, take note that I am not leaving; actually, I will be here for quite a while. We learn from each other, so don't think that you have not taught me anything. Be proud and stand strong brotha.

As I think about this, it becomes tougher for me to believe what is going on. One thing that I have learned is that people want and hope to believe a lie, so that they do not have to face the truth. One truth is that we will never be accepted by everyone. When people cannot accept that, arguments come up. By the way, let me mention that if you DO believe that we can all accept each other, I have no problem with your belief.

The first thing that came to mind when I read this thread with Nisa saying that she was going to leave, was someone is going to walk out right after her. I would like to think that not anyone does so, but I will not be surprised if it happens.

I always said and believed that the Devil's strongest capability was the ability to divide and conquer. It seems that he has succeeded in this case. I have also always been a pro-active thinker - meaning that I choose to learn from the situation, find a way not to put myself in that situation, and move on. So much for labeling and giving titles: Now labeling and titling has prompted one of our good sistahs to leave such a good family.

CD

Hotep

We all deserve to know all there is to know about every thing that is.
When We grow pass the level of I and Me and into the Supernatural Level of understanding the We and Us, "We" will have arrived at that place we should be and "Not" ware we are today.

This matter has moved beyound just a personal issue when every one can read and wonder what happened here?
It is only fair to "All" to be allowed to know and Learn form this experience so that we may continue to Grow to ware we Must Be and Not ware we are today.

Why will a true Brother or Sister leave the inocent in such a way with out explination to why??? "You have the Great Opportunity to teach "Us", please do that, Help "Us" to Understand so that we can Correct Ourself and not Fall to our Silly mistakes.

Ase`

hello...(um its a concernedsister Libby here i have not been around lot )


i wanted to say sumthing ..

i hope everything is already in peace with everyone here and all of you
god knows our hearts and what is realy going on in youre soul..(forgive )..


Nomather where you go where you will be....
People can always say sumthing or do sumthing ..
that will hurt someones feelings....
eacother feeling

the devil will always use people in orther to destroy sumthing beautifull...


he will use old words new words...to hurt


but rise above it.....
stay i the love ....

that is the only thing that can heal and give us peace..


if there is a lie ....if there is no justice...

give youre case to god...


you may speak...


speak out...


but let it be words of the lord ..

trough the spirrit Of the highest ..Alpha Omega...

.
Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome
.
:teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach: :teach:
.

WHAT: Consciousness Raising Online Class !!!

TOPIC: Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35045)

WHO: All of Us!

WHEN: Sunday, June 12, 2005 !!!

TIME: 3 pm ET - 4 pm ET

WHERE: Our Voice Chat Room - destee.com/chat (http://destee.com/chat)

HOW: Brother OldSoul will Lead Us!

WHY: Cause we're Blessed like that! ... :teach:


Join Us Sunday 3 pm ET @ destee.com/chat (http://destee.com/chat)


:heart:

Destee

ps ... this thread is closed.

I don't know that this is the appropriate thread within which to respond to this, but I nonetheless feel the need to respond, out of virtue of the fact that the original thread was closed, before I'd had the opportunity to respond to statements (and what I feel were accusations) leveled directly towards me.

If my response here is deemed inappropriate, I'm sure they will be redirected to their proper place, if there is indeed a place for them.

Striving forward......

PEACE DESTEE:

Hello Family,

I am surprised and disappointed at all of this.

Brother BioRhythm said the following:



Quote:
Originally Posted by BioRhythm
we should not let the dispute of a mere word seperate us and slow the ascension of our people.



Simply amazing, all of this over one word.

If you, like others here, are under the impression that all of this is the result of "one word", then you are gravely mistaken, and are also not in-tune with the goings-on of your site.........If for no other reason than the fact that both I and NISA had told you as much more than once since this issue had arisen.

As NISA so eloquently put it, this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

There are quite a few posts in this thread, and i won't be responding to each one. I'm really not interested in replying to any of this, as i've said most everything i have to say, and i stand by those words ... but since it's all been brought to head here, and has the Family in a tizzy ... i'll try to make some sense of it.

This perspective saddens me, especially as someone who runs my own sight myself. I feel it's my duty to make myself accessible to my patrons, in both word, deed, and presence as much as possible--both on and off the site in which I facilitate.

I frequent numerous other sites as well, in addition to this one and my own; some sites I have a large presence, others I choose only to minimally participate (mostly lurk), yet I learn from all of them.

Mainly how to conduct myself as a site administrator, as well as a member.

I'm not going to accuse you of doing poorly at your job of doing this (nor have I done so thus far), but as you indicated in your "FAULTS" thread, we all have things that could be worked on, including how we carry ourselves on this site.

First, let me thank Brother Ralfa'il for directing you all to the posts / threads that got this all started ... i just didn't have the wherewithal to address it, when this first got started. As he said, this whole "negroe" talk started with Sister Nisa requesting that the word "Negroe" be added to the banned word list. I did not agree with her then, and i do not agree with her now.

It's funny that you would thank this individual for any endeavors that he undertakes, with regards to this site, when several people will attest to the fact that he has been at the very crux of its problems as of late.

And herein

It seems there is some concern, by Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI, that i was not offended by Brother Ralfa'il's comments ... yet they go on to offend me themselves. Yes, i am offended at what Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI have outright said and implied.

In all honesty, I don't think that you've a proper understanding of most of what I'd said, let alone "implied" (for the record, I have yet to make any such implications. My last post directed towards you consisted mostly of questions and observations. No implications whatsoever where involved).

And it is with this continued lack of understanding that you comment with here, instead of asking for clarifications for whatever "implications" you thought I'd made.........

Taking it even further to be "offended" by such a lack of understanding--which I find ironic, from a person who'd just previously stated:

"Most things do not offend me."

Why then, would this instance become the exception?

I'm not sure what exactly this is all rooted in, surely it can't be about a word.

And here, you question what is the crux of the issue......Either you know where the issue lies, or you don't.

Do you actually know? And if not, where is the thread or post in which you had explicitly asked for this clarification?

Sister Nisa said the following, in response to my not changing my opinion, to match hers:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisa
Okayee..welp...that bothers me that it doesnt bother you..welp to each its own..i'll stay on my side of the fence..and move on to a different site. I cant see myself being involved on a site better yet monetarily support a site,where the administrator isn't bothered by being called a negress..but at the same time wants to uplift her people..thats just plain backwards.

NISA had also stated other things as well, that serve as allusions to what she (and I, as well as others) see/saw as the core of the issue.

However, no where do I see these statements of hers (and mine) addressed.

I responded that we would miss her, and God Bless. Brother SAMURAI took offense to that! Suggesting that i should have done or said something more. Family, i'm really shaking my head at all of this, i can't believe i'm having to explain every move i make ... *sigh* ... but if it will make things more clear, no matter how tired i am ... i will do this.

And yet again, not once was the request made, for clarification of my statements.

For the record, that's not by far, what I had "taken offense to".

For the record, this is not the first time that Sister Nisa has threatened to leave us. At that time, i tried to encourage her to remain, and it obviously worked. Perhaps not what i said, but what someone else said ... i don't know ... i do know she didn't leave.

I'm not especially moved by folk saying they're gonna leave this community. I've been here since day one, and there are more threads than i can count, of folk posting about how they're gonna leave and never come back and they never leave, or return soon after they leave, or under some other name(s) ... lurking around because this is really where they want to be. If they're not still here, wherever they are, we're the topic. It just does not move me, alarm me, or make me go into alert mode. The same way folk walk into this community, they are free to walk out. I cannot spend lots of time trying to convince someone that this is where they need to be. I won't do that. There are enough folk here, that want to be here, for me to concern myself with. I just don't have the energy to put into convincing folk that they need to be here ... for that may not be the truth ... this may be the last place they need to be ... and if that's what they think, i will honor it.

Whether I agree with this rather laissez-faire approach to running your site is really of no issue........What is however, is the fact that fairness should be the decree of the day in any and all instances.

Perhaps I alone am privy to the irony of the fact that NISA had in her avatar, the picture of the King holding the CROOK and the FLAIL.......

The ruler's responsibility is to lovingly guide the people with one hand (the CROOK), while sternly admonishing them with the other (the FLAIL).

Over the course of the weekend, when I allowed my thoughts to drift to this site, I was reminded of RALF's statements in another thread, as to whether MATRIARCHY works, especially in this instance........The irony of such, is that the very system he rejects, is the one that he uses to his advantage here--go figure. :rolleyes:

I wished her and everyone who leaves us well. She is no exception ... and for the record ... even Premium Members don't get goodbye letters from me.

I would sincerely request that you take the time to re-read the host of threads that involve this issue, and do so with a more open mind. You're missing the entire point, from our (re: mine, NISA's and others) perspective.

Brother SAMURAI ... you too have mentioned your dissatisfaction with this community, and all i can suggest is that you go where your Spirit leads you. I have said a zillion times, we never claimed to be all things to all people. If we're not what you want, please don't stay. These threats of leaving are ridiculous and i've never really understood them. Why do people do this? Threaten to leave for days and days and days, yet never do it? Is this some effort to gain attention (if so, i guess it works)? Is there where we are suppose to step in and beg you to stay? If you want to leave, just leave. I have never understood the parade folk try to make out of such decisions.


This sounds like the idioms that pro-American people often spew at those not satisfied with the system.

This "love it or leave it" perspective is as "ridiculous" as the notion that I as a member (where Premium or otherwise) have no right to voice my perspective about the goings-on here.

It's amazing how the enigma that is the human presence, sees no problem with accepting all of the credit, yet none of the blame.

If I and everyone else here, were to simply and perpetually shower you with accolades, of how wonderful you are handling things, how would you respond?

Would you play the part of the proverbial pageant queen, bowing, waving and blowing kisses at us?

Where is the growth in this? In the meantime, where is the growth that can only be seen from receiving constructive criticism?

Please do not think that my time is any less valuable than yours. And as a result, please do not depreciate the value of that time, by cheapening any intent I might have here.

Just like America, people speak out because they wish to attempt to make things better, for themselves and others.

If a person mumbles under their breath and then quietly leaves, you should then be wondering what their intent was here to begin with.

Bear also in mind, that a person's declaration of leaving is not just for you (as the site's owner), but also for others as well.

Anyway ... like i said, i'm not sure what this is rooted in.

It's seems that this lack of knowledge is getting the best of you then. Still, not ONCE have I seen where you've ASKED those whom you'd admonished for being "offended", as to WHY they were offended?

As this site's owner/administrator (I'm not totally sure what your official title is), should that have been your initial course of action?

When the patrons of my site began to complain about the goings-on of my site, I chose to address them all, and then take action, both for their benefit, as well as that of my name that was/is attached to that endeavor.

I showed my commitment to them, by shutting the site down, and re-creating it, with a better environment aesthetically and condusively, for the purpose of honoring my pledge of creating a place for them.

Executions notwithstanding, is this not the same intent that you have for yourself and your site? To be the best you/it can be?

Sister Nisa made some accusations toward me, that i found quite offensive (ironic since she claims to be concerned about me being offended):


Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisa
I've brought up other issues as far as moderation to her,and it was not addressed.

This is absolutely not true, and i challenge you Sister Nisa to present the issue you brought to me, that i did not address.

I won't attempt to continue to speak for this sister, as her words have been more than sufficient........However speaking on my own behalf, I've taken notice to what I'd previously state was a laissez-faire approach of yours.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisa
She wants 10 dollars a month,but how can you be a negress and pro black. I won't support it.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisa
Also where is the business site...if Destee owns a business...I mean I would think it would help her if she posted it...Im not for supporting someone else...if they aren't honest.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisa
I question if i'm providing income or supporting a site...




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisa
The moderation...brothers..no offense to you..get away with alot of stuff..that if the sisters said..they would be banned...seems like trying to get approval from men...the desperation is rediculous...



The above posts really puzzle me, because Sister Nisa, you have never given a dime to help support this community. Not one! What are you talking about?! You have been here for almost a year, taking full advantage of all that we offer, never paying a dime and no one ever making you feel uncomfortable because you don't. We have even given you, and others, the opportunity to win Premium Memberships! We give Premium Memberships away! I happen to know that there is a Brother here who paid for you to have a Premium Membership, out of his own pocket! And you come and post this foolishness about me, and the character and integrity of this community and what we're doing here!?! How dare you?!

All of this I find ironic, on different levels.

On one aspect, my site, as well as numerous others offer many of the same features that are offered here, yet those others offer them for free (please note, that when I say "FREE", I mean free to the members; the site owners--myself included--absorb the cost for these privileges.......And in regards to your statement about being "poor" in another thread, neither myself nor some other site owners are affluent by any means).

But that is truly neither here nor there on my part.

What is of importance however, is the fact that there are "Premium Members" here who have complained about some of the very same things (the very same things that NISA and I have complained about--the same things that that you claim not to know the "root of") that we "Non-Premium" Members have said.

What value then, does the Premium status have, over the non-premium status?

I have stood up for you, both publicly and privately. I have defended you at every turn. And all the time you have these kind of thoughts about me? Sister, while you are worrying about someone else offending me ... please know that it is you who has offended me!

As I am in no ways privy to this, there is no way that I can speak on this.

Brother SAMURAI ... since you have jumped all in this, claiming to know what's going on ... let me let you know, that you do not know!

This, coming from the person who has stated:

I'm not sure what exactly this is all rooted in, surely it can't be about a word.

Anyway ... like i said, i'm not sure what this is rooted in.

Thus, what precisely is it, that you think I "don't know"? And how is it to be measured against you apparently and admitted ly "don't know"?

You go on and on about Brother Ralfa'il, but i have spent quite a bit of time trying to correct your behavior in this community ... not just Brother Ralfa'il's.

Really?

And yet again, you have apparently not examined the CRUX of the issues here.

All of my detrimental actions--WITHOUT EXCEPTION--have been because of the brother you mention, and not in spite of it.

I issued a challenge to you in another thread, in which I would be willing to sacrifice my membership on this site, if you could find 2 consecutive people (not including this brother) that I have outright offended on this site.

You chose to simply ignore and talk over that challenge, instead of addressing it.

That is an issue of moderation that I noticed, and that NISA noticed as well.

I guarantee that you will not find a single person. In fact, as even this brother has (jealously) admitted, most people here are singing my praises.

Not to brag or boast, but simply to speak in defense of myself, I have brought more to this site in the less than 2 months that I have been here, than the year(s) that many members have been here.

In the meantime, you have an individual that has:

*Disrespected women on numerous occasions, by talking down to them, making sexual advances to them, etc. (isn't this the same brother who has repeatedly stated--once to YOU, no less, that he has "no need for you" as an independent woman?? And this is who you defend???? :confused: )

*Disrespected the religious/spiritual beliefs of others, by making false claims and spreading false information about various religions and their practicioners

*Challenged the sexuality of the brothers here on numerous occasions

*Called people out of their names on numerous occasions ("SISSY", "***", etc).

*Disrupting positive dialogue with arrogance, ignorance, and spiteful demeanor.

Etc, etc, etc.......


Now, I will admit, as I have admitted before, that I am/was not blameless in these situations.

However, if you had TRULY scrutinized those situations, you would see that my participation in them was in attempt to counterspond against these issues that this one and sole brother alone created.

As you issued a challenge to NISA, I (re)issue one to you, in that you will find no instances outside of my dealing with this one brother, that I have purposefully disrupted your site.


You have offended me because you are talking about me, and this community while not knowing every particular interaction that has taken place between Sister Nisa and i. You can't know, because i don't know ...

Once again, this coming from a person who has admitted not even knowing what's going on.

Will you at least ONCE, ask me what the issue is, so that I can explain it to you in depth, so that you can gain a better understanding?

and i was present at every word exchanged between Sister Nisa and myself since she joined this community! How can you know what i don't know, and i was there?!!! You're doing too much Brother.

I have no idea what you are talking about, and apparently, as you have admitted, neither do you.

When I spoke on the Sister's behalf, I spoke STRICTLY on the things that I am knowledgeable of, and nothing more.

I made ALLUSIONS (not implications; perhaps that was the word you were previously looking for?) about the things that are my concerns. Once again, had you asked me/us for clarification, then perhaps these things wouldn't have grown to become such the issue in my/our mind/s.


I really feel like closing this thread, but i won't.

You won't, but you did.

I'll probably not respond to it anymore, 'cause i'm tired.

Sister Nisa and Brother SAMURAI ... i wish you both well ... wherever you decide to spend your time.

Much Love and Peace Family.

For the record, I never stated that I would definitely going to leave.

I stated that it was being considered, and still is. But I thank you for the well-wishes, and extend them in return to you.

PEACE

Brother SAMURAI ... i've added your above post to this thread ... thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Now that you've had the opportunity to respond, this thread is closed again.

:heart:

Destee