Just the other day I was out with my mother eating breakfast, and a large interracial family walks into our dining area and takes a seat. My back was turned to them so I couldn't really see, but she looks at them and says " It's nothing worse then to see a mother who can't fix her child's hair." Now of course that's bad, but it was in the context of the situation. The child's mother was white. It made me wonder if interracial parents consider the needs of their mixed children before actually having the child? What do you think of this?

Just the other day I was out with my mother eating breakfast, and a large interracial family walks into our dining area and takes a seat. My back was turned to them so I couldn't really see, but she looks at them and says " It's nothing worse then to see a mother who can't fix her child's hair." Now of course that's bad, but it was in the context of the situation. The child's mother was white. It made me wonder if interracial parents consider the needs of their mixed children before actually having the child? What do you think of this?

I doubt that they do..... considering myself.. I know that if i were to have a child with someone out of my race... one of the considerations wouldn't have been if she could do the childs hair... I mean.. yeah its selfish... but you made me think... does anyone whether interacial... or same race consider the child's future or how the child would feel in each situation?

I've taken such things into consideration before... i just doubt i would have then...

Just the other day I was out with my mother eating breakfast, and a large interracial family walks into our dining area and takes a seat. My back was turned to them so I couldn't really see, but she looks at them and says " It's nothing worse then to see a mother who can't fix her child's hair." Now of course that's bad, but it was in the context of the situation. The child's mother was white. It made me wonder if interracial parents consider the needs of their mixed children before actually having the child? What do you think of this?

There are many black women that don't know how to manage their hair. They go to a beautician and take their kids along with them. Not knowing how to style hair doesn't make you a bad mother.

As far as the needs of a biracial child.. their needs are pretty much like anyone elses. The problem comes when the parent or parents encourages them to identify more with the 'accepted' race than the one that isn't 'accepted.' If a half-white half-black child identifies themselves as 'white' well, of course they're going to have problems because whites in general still see you as black. If they identify as black then they will have less problems.

.' If a half-white half-black child identifies themselves as 'white' well, of course they're going to have problems because whites in general still see you as black. If they identify as black then they will have less problems.

I think that it all depends on what traits you have recieved from your parents as to which side you will be more comfortable on. Ideally you are better off claiming both. I know this sounds a little strange but if you dont have predominately black/white features than it is very difficult to fit into any one area. People in general are going to see you as mixed race. You should embrace this and not hide what you are. and what you are is 50% one race and 50% another race so you really can't identify with one over the other.

I've seen many white mothers who were at a loss with what to do with their child's hair when it came out more on the nappy side. If they were mixed boys they'd just cut their hair, but if they were girls they had problems. I once worked in a department store and a white lady came through my check out with her mixed daughter and was buying a brush. The lady seemed to be really distressed and said, "If this doesn't work on your hair I don't know what to do!" I told her I could help her, trying not to laugh in her face. I also knew anothe white woman with a little girl and I did the child's hair and she asks me, "How did you do that?" I had to show her how to comb her child's hair. Recently a young white girl asked me what she should do with her baby daughter's hair because the child's dad's sister was telling her that she couldn't wash her hair everyday like she was a white kid. I guess not all white women are like that though. I disagree that people in general view mixed race children as 50% white and 50% black, especially whites. At least that's not how where I'm from. Most white people view them as black. Point, period, blank. So I do think that before a white woman has a biracial child she should be prepared to know that child will have a very different view of his or her life than the way she was raised, that the child may not be accepted in the same way she was by her family and peers, and that it's important the child be taught of their black heritage and ancestory as well as educated in black history. I once knew a boy during childhood who was plainly mixed and lived with his grandmother because his mother's white husband refused to have him live with them in their house. We were playing once and he got mad and called us "*******". We just looked at him and were like, "So? You are too." And he was like, "No I'm not." I told him, "Look in the mirror when you go home. The next time your cousins come over look at them and look at yourself. You don't look like them." So we all went home and I suppose he acked his grandma if it was true and she told him that it wasn't. he came the next day and said his grandma told him he was white. I told him his grandma was lying because my grandma knows his mama and daddy. After a few weeks of him questioning her, his grandmother finally told him the truth.

I've seen many white mothers who were at a loss with what to do with their child's hair when it came out more on the nappy side. If they were mixed boys they'd just cut their hair, but if they were girls they had problems. I once worked in a department store and a white lady came through my check out with her mixed daughter and was buying a brush. The lady seemed to be really distressed and said, "If this doesn't work on your hair I don't know what to do!" I told her I could help her, trying not to laugh in her face. I also knew anothe white woman with a little girl and I did the child's hair and she asks me, "How did you do that?" I had to show her how to comb her child's hair. Recently a young white girl asked me what she should do with her baby daughter's hair because the child's dad's sister was telling her that she couldn't wash her hair everyday like she was a white kid. I guess not all white women are like that though. I disagree that people in general view mixed race children as 50% white and 50% black, especially whites. At least that's not how where I'm from. Most white people view them as black. Point, period, blank. So I do think that before a white woman has a biracial child she should be prepared to know that child will have a very different view of his or her life than the way she was raised, that the child may not be accepted in the same way she was by her family and peers, and that it's important the child be taught of their black heritage and ancestory as well as educated in black history. I once knew a boy during childhood who was plainly mixed and lived with his grandmother because his mother's white husband refused to have him live with them in their house. We were playing once and he got mad and called us "*******". We just looked at him and were like, "So? You are too." And he was like, "No I'm not." I told him, "Look in the mirror when you go home. The next time your cousins come over look at them and look at yourself. You don't look like them." So we all went home and I suppose he acked his grandma if it was true and she told him that it wasn't. he came the next day and said his grandma told him he was white. I told him his grandma was lying because my grandma knows his mama and daddy. After a few weeks of him questioning her, his grandmother finally told him the truth.

Talk about having an identity crisis!

I disagree that people in general view mixed race children as 50% white and 50% black, especially whites. At least that's not how where I'm from. Most white people view them as black. Point, period, blank. So I do think that before a white woman has a biracial child she should be prepared to know that child will have a very different view of his or her life than the way she was raised, that the child may not be accepted in the same way she was by her family and peers, and that it's important the child be taught of their black heritage and ancestory as well as educated in black history. I once knew a boy during childhood who was plainly mixed and lived with his grandmother because his mother's white husband refused to have him live with them in their house. We were playing once and he got mad and called us "*******". We just looked at him and were like, "So? You are too." And he was like, "No I'm not." I told him, "Look in the mirror when you go home. The next time your cousins come over look at them and look at yourself. You don't look like them." So we all went home and I suppose he acked his grandma if it was true and she told him that it wasn't. he came the next day and said his grandma told him he was white. I told him his grandma was lying because my grandma knows his mama and daddy. After a few weeks of him questioning her, his grandmother finally told him the truth.

The black community in general has been more accepting of biracials, so long as the biracial person acknowledges them. I don't even think there's too much of a problem with a biracial verbally acknowledging both racial bloodlines.... it's when he or she aligns more with the 'other' side that causes problems.

The black community in general has been more accepting of biracials, so long as the biracial person acknowledges them. I don't even think there's too much of a problem with a biracial verbally acknowledging both racial bloodlines.... it's when he or she aligns more with the 'other' side that causes problems.

Colorism is a problem in this country. I'm trying to recall what thread a person said AA's have "muddied" the blood by mixing with whites. I don't know if we are more accepting of biracials many hate the whole idea of interracial dating, so the resulting children have that to deal with also.

As far as what to do with a childs hair, that's why beauty shops were created.

The black community in general has been more accepting of biracials, so long as the biracial person acknowledges them. I don't even think there's too much of a problem with a biracial verbally acknowledging both racial bloodlines.... it's when he or she aligns more with the 'other' side that causes problems.

Very true. I have a lot of biracial cousins and on top of that I come from a Creole ancestory, so I have cousins who are so light it's hard to tell what color they are. But where I'm from, Kansas, the white people in general view mixed children as black. When I was a teenager it was real popular for the black boys to go to a small town about 15 miles outside of our city where there were only white families, white girls. A lot of these girls ended up pregnant and their parents marched them right to abortion clinics. I lnow a white woman that at 18 began dating my nephew. She got pregnant by him and her mother forced her to have an abortion. She refused to stay away from him so her mama disowned her. She had two kids by him and her mother refused to acknowledge them. They were married but divorced and she married a white man and had a child by him, now her mother talks to her. But the first two kids refuse to call her mother "grandma". More often than not I've known white girls/women who said that their parents would disown them if they dated black men. But that was off the subject. In response to your quote, I don't think it's a good idea for a biracial person to consider themselves "more white". Not to say that they should consider themselves "more black", either. True they are half and half but do white people where you're from view them as white or say it really doesn't matter? I know of another lady who's daughter is dating a biracial man but they refer to him as being black and were into a dispute with some people they knew. They go regularly to a western/country club and the people called their daughter a n****r lover. The biracial man even worked at the same club as a bouncer and they didn't acknowledge the fact that his mother was white.

Very true. I have a lot of biracial cousins and on top of that I come from a Creole ancestory, so I have cousins who are so light it's hard to tell what color they are. But where I'm from, Kansas, the white people in general view mixed children as black. When I was a teenager it was real popular for the black boys to go to a small town about 15 miles outside of our city where there were only white families, white girls. A lot of these girls ended up pregnant and their parents marched them right to abortion clinics. I lnow a white woman that at 18 began dating my nephew. She got pregnant by him and her mother forced her to have an abortion. She refused to stay away from him so her mama disowned her. She had two kids by him and her mother refused to acknowledge them. They were married but divorced and she married a white man and had a child by him, now her mother talks to her. But the first two kids refuse to call her mother "grandma". More often than not I've known white girls/women who said that their parents would disown them if they dated black men. But that was off the subject. In response to your quote, I don't think it's a good idea for a biracial person to consider themselves "more white". Not to say that they should consider themselves "more black", either. True they are half and half but do white people where you're from view them as white or say it really doesn't matter? I know of another lady who's daughter is dating a biracial man but they refer to him as being black and were into a dispute with some people they knew. They go regularly to a western/country club and the people called their daughter a n****r lover. The biracial man even worked at the same club as a bouncer and they didn't acknowledge the fact that his mother was white.

Well, it doesn't matter what others say... if you have one white parent and one black parent you are half-white, half-black and you have every right to claim such heritage.

What I'm talking about is when biracials culturally identify themselves more with whites to the point that they reject their black side. You can claim biracial heritage and identify culturally with your black side more. Halle Berry, for example, has indicated her mulatto heritage, but clearly identifies more with her black side. Those who chose to culturally align with their black side won't suffer as much as those who align with their white side, (or any other race that is deemed to be better than black).

Well, it doesn't matter what others say... if you have one white parent and one black parent you are half-white, half-black and you have every right to claim such heritage.

What I'm talking about is when biracials culturally identify themselves more with whites to the point that they reject their black side. You can claim biracial heritage and identify culturally with your black side more. Halle Berry, for example, has indicated her mulatto heritage, but clearly identifies more with her black side. Those who chose to culturally align with their black side won't suffer as much as those who align with their white side, (or any other race that is deemed to be better than black).

Well, yes, that's basically what I'm saying. I know few biracial people who want to consider themselves white and only white. There are old American laws that state even a drop of black blood is too much and that if you are biracial like Latin and white, you can claim either Latin or white or both but if either of your parents is black then so are you. That was brought up on a very old episode of Montell Williams, well over 10 years ago I think.

Interracial kids need the same things as any other child...no more no less..the need love, guidance, affection, need to be taught how to and how not to act and how to treat folks, everything else is up to the parents...if they choose to identify more with one side or the other then that's up to them...there are no mandatory rules governing the issue as such. Society has to label people and because of this tendancy has problems with people of mixed race..especially the ones where you just can't really tell what they are...so folks just pick a label based on what race they think the child looks more like........I think the whole interracial kids have different needs than other kids thing is completely silly...

MississippiRed

Interracial kids need the same things as any other child...no more no less..the need love, guidance, affection, need to be taught how to and how not to act and how to treat folks, everything else is up to the parents...if they choose to identify more with one side or the other then that's up to them...there are no mandatory rules governing the issue as such. Society has to label people and because of this tendancy has problems with people of mixed race..especially the ones where you just can't really tell what they are...so folks just pick a label based on what race they think the child looks more like........I think the whole interracial kids have different needs than other kids thing is completely silly...

MississippiRed


I have a question? Are you in fact from Mississippi? That's about a "south" as you get and myself coming from a family in Louisianna I've heard more than once that it's an old southeren law (this was also on an Oprah episode) that "one drop of black blood" made you black and if your daddy was black then so are you.
Although we were talking about the things white women should consider when having biracial children, I agree that all children need the things you described. But can you honestly say that black children have the same needs as white children when it comes to growing, developing, and education? And if not, then wouldn't that mean that biracial children have slightly different needs as well? With two children of my own I've taught them a lot of black history, something the schools here scarcely touch on and something I myself really didn't know existed until I entered into highschool. I know I must teach my black daughters that they are eventually going to witness vast differences in the way society will treat them vs. some of their white friends or peers.

Yeah I'm a Mississippi native . To me the operative word in this question is needs....and when I think of needs I think of basic needs the ones we all need and to me we all need the same thing..I dont' think Black kids have special needs moreso than white kids..I belive that Black children should have to know Black history but in the same vein I believe white kids should learn about themselves like the Mexicans, and Asians or whoever else is in the mix. I believe kids of mixed race should learn about both sides of their racial makeup or however many sides there are.the good the bad and the ugly but I don't consider that a special need. As far as telling my kids that at some point they will run into racism nah I haven't told them that I'll let them form their own opinions of folks as they grow, I'm only here to give them advice and try to steer them in the right direction ....I tell them to watch everyone and to not trust folks because of any preconceived notion of how folks will be...I'm a half breed myself and have learned through life that you have to watch everyone but I believe that is good advice for any child coming up in this world..so what I teach my kids is no different than what I think every child should know so I wouldn't consider it to be special or different from what any other child should learn....and yeah that was a law any Black blood made you Black mother or father but that law only worked for the people that had Black blood and in fact looked Black ..as you know a lot of folk down there passed and still do..

Red

I know people will disagree with this but anytime a people come together on the basis of physical appearance then there will be serious problems anyway. A people become a people when they share the same values general view of the world around them as well as common ancestry, just look at the Chinese and Japanese they don't consider themselves the same people though to us it is impossible to tell them apart it seems the only reason why we do this is because Europeans bond with each other on this level being that they have pale skin keen features. I've had mixed friends and in even have a aunt this is black and hispanic but she says her father was white which is impossible because I've never seen a half white kid with jet black wavy hair in my life and I've lived in Rockford,IL and you don't see more interracial couples than there for every 5 black men there you will see 4 with white women.

" because I've never seen a half white kid with jet black wavy hair in my life "

I have. There are all White people with black hair.

You know what? There are alot of black people in my family and most of them have brownish hair color and when they had children one of the childred would either have green or blue eyes because of the white that is in then because eye color is one of those things that are recessive. The women that I am talking about has no children or grandchildren with blue,green, or gray eyes which is another reason why I know she isn't half white aside from the fact so many Mexicans and Puerto Ricans would try to communicate with her in spanish thinking she was hispanic. Black people have a real problem with color, for example me and my sister look exactly alike the only difference is she is light brown skinned and I am a deep chocolate color, but most people will say I look like my other sister who is my same complexion but has none of my facial features, isn't this wrong? I've lived in Rockford,IL and for every 1 black man you see with a black woman you see 4 more with white a
woman so I know about interracial dating and the way the children look like from it,home boy.

My cousin who happens to be the son this wavy black haired woman who is very light-skinned but with nappy hair had a daughter with another light-skinned woman and the child they both produced was as black as night, but do you want to know the catch? This child with very dark complexion had the face its father and the hair of wavy haired women, but he said that it was not his child because he made no dark skin children. Isn't that something? Here this child is looking exotic like one of those children from India but he fathers no dark skin children.

You can watch the Maury Show and see this ignorance though just go and look. I know too many ignorant negroes that will disown a kid because of the color of its skin and I'm sitting up thinking like this is insanity especially when African Americans are one of the most mixed ethnic groups barring Latino people. You never see blonde haired couples disowning there brunette daughter or son do you? I know I'm getting off track with the interracial dating but we have some ignorant people in the hood though, I mean really.

Interracial kids need the same things as any other child...no more no less..the need love, guidance, affection, need to be taught how to and how not to act and how to treat folks, everything else is up to the parents...if they choose to identify more with one side or the other then that's up to them...there are no mandatory rules governing the issue as such. Society has to label people and because of this tendancy has problems with people of mixed race..especially the ones where you just can't really tell what they are...so folks just pick a label based on what race they think the child looks more like........I think the whole interracial kids have different needs than other kids thing is completely silly...

MississippiRed

I had disagreed with this view due to being a child that grew up in a predominately lower to middle class white community and the few bi-racial kids that I knew and the way they were treated by their white families and other white kids. One of the client's I work with is in foster care. He's white but the woman that cares for him is black. She has adopted two other kids, one is a biracial girl age 14. She's been very protected and shelterd. She has always fone to a Christian private school and was supposed to attend public highschool next year. She told her mother she was afraid to go to public school and so she's going back to the Christian school next month. Anyhow, being half white and the only biracial child at this school (her brother is black and the only black child at the school, no hispanics or other nationalities) all of her friends are white, she doesn't listen to urban, hip hop, or rap, she listens to pop and rock by white artists and all of the boys she's attracted to at school, on TV, ect., are white. There's nothing wrong with that but as I said before, she's been sheltered and protected. She got her feelings hurt the other day. She was at a public swimming pool and met some white girls that she didn't know. They saw her watching a white boy and asked her why she was staring at him. She told them she thought he was cute and they asked if she wanted them to go talk to him for her. They came back and told her that he said he didn't talk to girls outside of his race. The white girls in turn seemed to be mocking her because of this. She said that no one had ever told her that before. She was telling me about it and I told her that unfortunately she's going to encounter people who feel that way. She told me that she considered herself to be white also, although she's darker than I am and has more of a coarse texture to her hair.

She told me that she considered herself to be white also, although she's darker than I am and has more of a coarse texture to her hair.

When a person who isn't white, tries to live as a white person...they are in for a lifetime of hurt feelings & heart break! However, I can't say that I'm surprised at this young ladies attitude, because most biracials identify with their white heritage more than any other.

When a person who isn't white, tries to live as a white person...they are in for a lifetime of hurt feelings & heart break! However, I can't say that I'm surprised at this young ladies attitude, because most biracials identify with their white heritage more than any other.

I agree, that's why I believe biracial children do indeed have different needs than black and especially white children. Like you were saying, a lot more of them identify with their white heritage. This girl's situation is unusual because her birth mother is black and her father whom she's never met is white. Her adopted mother is balck and cousin to her birth mother so she's never grown up in a white household, but at the same times still has these ideals about herself. As well many biracial people will tell you, "It doesn't matter." when it makes a huge difference.

This girl's situation is unusual because her birth mother is black and her father whom she's never met is white. Her adopted mother is balck and cousin to her birth mother so she's never grown up in a white household, but at the same times still has these ideals about herself.

She has grown up in white society, which depending on the strength of one's foundation can have a greater influence than family!

interracial

In the U.K. where I grew up, there are many interracial people, both black/white and Indian/white and also other mixes. I remember there was this one older white woman, who had a daughter who was obviously part Indian (I could tell). I never actually talked to them but overheard them talking, and I guess the girl never knew her father. Anyway it really bothered me that this girl (well, she must have been in her 20's) knew nothing about her Indian side, or even aknowledged her Indian side. And yet she must have known she was part Indian? I saw her around often, she went and dyed her hair completly blond, to futher disingage herself from her Indian side. And it was still so obvious that she was partly Indian. I pity such a person, they are lost, if you don't know yourself, what can you know?

It's a really good question do inter-racial kids suffer more than kids with just one race in them? I think the answer is definatly 'yes they do'. It is real hard to grow up anyway and iter-racial children have an added burden on them. I feel that my kids are not accepted by Indians or the Whites completly, I have had to parent them with extra thought and guidance, but I made sure that they knew both their Indian and as well as their white side. They are nobody's fool (thank god), and have had to be wise beyond their years. I have had to protect them just that extra bit more. But in the end I hope that having loved them with all my heart and soal will see them through. People can be very unkind to mixed race kids. I have got to the point where I don't want to socialise with Indians at all now, it's just too painful, to have to answer stupid questions and have my kids ridiculed right in front of me. That they don't need. They are who they are, strong, good, knowledgable kids, who do well in school. They will no doubt one day become the same sort of adults. I supose the good thing is there are more and more inter-racial people around now than ever and I think that is a good thing.

In the U.K. where I grew up, there are many interracial people, both black/white and Indian/white and also other mixes. I remember there was this one older white woman, who had a daughter who was obviously part Indian (I could tell). I never actually talked to them but overheard them talking, and I guess the girl never knew her father. Anyway it really bothered me that this girl (well, she must have been in her 20's) knew nothing about her Indian side, or even aknowledged her Indian side. And yet she must have known she was part Indian? I saw her around often, she went and dyed her hair completly blond, to futher disingage herself from her Indian side. And it was still so obvious that she was partly Indian. I pity such a person, they are lost, if you don't know yourself, what can you know?

It's a really good question do inter-racial kids suffer more than kids with just one race in them? I think the answer is definatly 'yes they do'. It is real hard to grow up anyway and iter-racial children have an added burden on them. I feel that my kids are not accepted by Indians or the Whites completly, I have had to parent them with extra thought and guidance, but I made sure that they knew both their Indian and as well as their white side. They are nobody's fool (thank god), and have had to be wise beyond their years. I have had to protect them just that extra bit more. But in the end I hope that having loved them with all my heart and soal will see them through. People can be very unkind to mixed race kids. I have got to the point where I don't want to socialise with Indians at all now, it's just too painful, to have to answer stupid questions and have my kids ridiculed right in front of me. That they don't need. They are who they are, strong, good, knowledgable kids, who do well in school. They will no doubt one day become the same sort of adults. I supose the good thing is there are more and more inter-racial people around now than ever and I think that is a good thing.

Shamila:

I believe you've been told that this website is devoted to black issues and black people loving each other. There has been some concern about what exactly a person who isn't black can possibly add to a site devoted to black people?. In all honesty you continue to add to this concern as each post from you makes it apparent that the only topics on which you have anything of merit to say in on the subject of interracial mating and mixing. If you have been reading the latest responses from the majority of the members and moderators on this subject, we have grown quite tired of it. We've also expressed (openly) concerns that the continuous stream of new members obessed with this subject are trying to change the focus of the website. To make a long story short, we do not promote Interracial Dating. There are hundreds of websites on the internet that do so. This is not one of them and it will not be one of them. This is a site committed to bringing black men and women together. To the overwhelming majority of membes on this site, we do not view having more and more inter-racial people around now as a "good thing". However since you are neither a black person nor involved in a relationship with your own, I don't expect you to understand the desire for black people to promote loving black people. For this reason I will once again list the following Interracial Dating/Discussion websites that you will probably find the solidarity that you're seeking:

1 http://www.saltandpeppersingles.com/

2 http://www.cherish.com/interracial-dating.dating

3 http://u.webring.com/hub?ring=interraciallove

4 http://www.lookbetteronline.com/dating/Dating_sites/Interracial_Dating.asp

5 http://lovedatingsites.com/28_Interracial_Dating.html

6 http://www.excite.co.uk/directory/Society/Relationships/Dating/Personals/Interracial

7 http://www.mulatto.org/

8 http://www.mixedfolks.com/

9 http://mindkandy.com/

10 http://www.pioneerthinking.com/cgi-bin/mb/YaBB.pl

11 http://multirace.org/multirace.htm

12 http://www.luvshades.com/match/comm/index.php?c=10&sid=ed2fc93c12ba662526b4c9e643379c2f

13 http://dmoz.org/Society/Ethnicity/Multiracial/Chats_and_Forums/

14 http://mulattocomm.proboards30.com/

15 http://www.multiracial.com/links/links-clubs.html

16 http://thetopazclubgal.tripod.com/id2.html

17 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MixedUnity/

18 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SWIRLinc/

19 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mrif/

20 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tmanewsletter/

21 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/allmixedup2/

22 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mulattoez/

23 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/biracialbabies3/

24 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/biracial/

25 http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bi_racial_blessings/

P.S. I found the following links with a 5 minute google search. Anyone who would like to discuss this subject can easily do the same. It is plain to see that there are dozens of websites devoted to interracial discussions and mixed raced people (the yahoo group listing had 256 sites devoted soley to biracial/interacial discussions). However there are less than a handful of websites devoted to black people loving and building with black people. Why not respect the purpose of all of these websites and simply "get in where we fit it"? Thank you

-PanAfrica

Just because a subject hits the nerves of some, doesn't mean it's obsolete to everyone else. There are plenty of redundant topics that have no benefit to Black folks here...........and no, not everyone has an agenda........we're just not so sensitive about something that only affects a small fraction of our community :rolleyes:

Just because a subject hits the nerves of some, doesn't mean it's obsolete to everyone else. There are plenty of redundant topics that have no benefit to Black folks here...........and no, not everyone has an agenda........we're just not so sensitive about something that only affects a small fraction of our community :rolleyes:


This subject has done more than strike the nerve of "some" on here spicy. Needless to say, the only persons on here who can not get enough of this subject are those who happen to be in IRs or of mixed blood themselves. If this truly affects a small fraction of "our" community, I wonder why that small fraction continues to make its way onto Destee.com? As I demonstrated with Shamila there are dozens (hundreds actually) of websites which welcome these discussions, and devote themselves completely to it. What is the logic in trying to make a place to be something other than what it is, when there are hundreds of places that offer what you are looking for?

This subject has done more than strike the nerve of "some" on here spicy.OK.Needless to say, the only persons on here who can not get enough of this subject are those who happen to be in IRs or of mixed blood themselves. You may want to tell that to people who begin threads similar to this one here. 1 person begins a thread, hundreds of others respond, including you, does that mean you are interested in IR? We all have the right to express our opinions.If this truly affects a small fraction of "our" community, I wonder why that small fraction continues to make its way onto Destee.com?Are mixed people or people in IR barred from Destee.com? As I demonstrated with Shamila there are dozens (hundreds actually) of websites which welcome these discussions, and devote themselves completely to it. What is the logic in trying to make a place to be something other than what it is, when there are hundreds of places that offer what you are looking for?For instance, Shamila isn't entertaining the idea of Blacks in IR, she is not a self proclaimed Black, neither are her children. What's the big deal. She shared an experience. Just because some can't relate to it, doesn't mean she should be shunned. If that's the case, no non-Blacks, including bi-racials(in your definition of non-Blackness) should be allowed here. Plain & simple. Perhaps it should be in the "Rules and Regulations" that IR discussions are grounds for getting banned.

Spicybrown, thank you so much for sticking up for me. It is true I honestly donot have any 'agenda' here at all. For some unknown reason I felt that I should be on this site, don't ask me to explain it, I don't understand it myself. And now I sound really cookie!

I guess I don't mind coming out of my 'comfort zone', I think it's good if people can come out of their 'comfort zones' once in a while, because that is when you start to grow emotionally. I think what I say is valid, yes, I know this is a black site, but I think what I have to say may be of some interest to some here.

To be honest I don't normally look for sites to post on, so I won't be checking out any of the others you mentioned, but thanks for taking the trouble to find them for me anyway.

It seems to me that a lot of the problems faced by black people are also faced by many others, maybe not in the same way or to the same extent, but in the end we are all just human beings trying to survive in a world full of problems.

Spicybrown, thank you so much for sticking up for me. It is true I honestly donot have any 'agenda' here at all. For some unknown reason I felt that I should be on this site, don't ask me to explain it, I don't understand it myself. And now I sound really cookie!

I guess I don't mind coming out of my 'comfort zone', I think it's good if people can come out of their 'comfort zones' once in a while, because that is when you start to grow emotionally. I think what I say is valid, yes, I know this is a black site, but I think what I have to say may be of some interest to some here.

To be honest I don't normally look for sites to post on, so I won't be checking out any of the others you mentioned, but thanks for taking the trouble to find them for me anyway.

It seems to me that a lot of the problems faced by black people are also faced by many others, maybe not in the same way or to the same extent, but in the end we are all just human beings trying to survive in a world full of problems.


Hello Shamila,

As a friendly reminder, this site does not promote interracial relationships. It is a site about the promotion of BLACK love and unity and the healing of BLACK relationships. Those particular links were provided as resources for people such as yourself who are interested in the topic. Thanks for being mindful and respectful of OUR space. Enjoy your stay.

For some unknown reason I felt that I should be on this site, don't ask me to explain it, I don't understand it myself. And now I sound really cookie!

This reason is unknown to me as well

To be honest I don't normally look for sites to post on, so I won't be checking out any of the others you mentioned, but thanks for taking the trouble to find them for me anyway.

Yet you found this one. Despite being told you have little to offer us, and generously being provided alternatives you insist on staying?

I guess I don't mind coming out of my 'comfort zone', I think it's good if people can come out of their 'comfort zones' once in a while, because that is when you start to grow emotionally. I think what I say is valid, yes, I know this is a black site, but I think what I have to say may be of some interest to some here....It seems to me that a lot of the problems faced by black people are also faced by many others, maybe not in the same way or to the same extent, but in the end we are all just human beings trying to survive in a world full of problems.

You remind me of a white woman that came on here about a year ago expressing an identification with African Americans, despite having no concrete connecton with us (not even the same nationality). For this reason I'll repeat to you what I told her: Now that you are aware this website is about Loving, Encouraging, Embracing, Teaching and Building With Our (Black) People...you should not be surprised that many will not see value in your experiences. Indeed why do you seem to believe you have something to "teach" us, and that we need to hear what you have to say? That is quite pompous & arrogant of you to suggest (like we are just sitting around doing nothing but waiting for some non-black woman to come and lead us)! I would venture to say that you have more to learn from us, than we ever would learn from you. Not only that, I can certainly say that many of us (if not most of us) do not need or want to learn anything from you. If you insist on staying (you haven't provided a reason to be kicked out thus far)...I advise you listen & learn, instead of offering suggestions!