>> The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to
>start their
>> family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed
>his wife
>> and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".
>>
>> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
>photographer rang
>> the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't
>know me
>> but I've come to...."
>>
>> "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
>
>> "Really ?" the photographer asked. "Well, good ! I've made a
>specialty of
>> babies."
>>
>> "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
>seat.
>> Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave
>everything to
>> me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps
>a couple
>> on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can
>really
>> spread out."
>>
>> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry
>and me."
>>
>> "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But
>if we try
>> several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,
>I'm sure
>> you'll be pleased with the results."
>>
>> "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
>"Madam, in
>> my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and
>out in five
>> minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
>>
>> "Don't I know !!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed.
>>
>> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
>his baby
>> pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
>>
>> "Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
>> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider
>their mother
>> was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith
>the
>> picture.
>>
>> "She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>>
>> "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get
>the job
>> done right. People were crowding around four and five deep,
>pushing to
>> get a good look."
>>
>> "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
>>
>> "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too.
>The mother
>> was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
>Then
>> darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
>squirrels
>> began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
>>
>> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
>> eh......equipment ?".
>>
>> "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
>so that we
>> can get to work."
>>
>> "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.
>>
>> "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
>big for
>> me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam ?
>> Madam?.....Good Lord, she's fainted !!" :baby:

Poor Mrs. Smith, Lol.