This posting is not suppose to offend anyone. It is easy for people to ask women - when do they get to the point that they do not feel like dealing with men anymore.

So, I would like to know... the same about men. I have my theories, but I would like to know what the men have to say about this topic.

I hear men stating that they are tired of having to spend their money courting/dating women.

When do men get tired of having sex with so many women and start dating men?

After what number??? 3 women -- 10 women -- 100 women

This is going on... what do you think about this?!?!?!

I've noticed that the more a man experiences and tries new things he increases he chances of having a bisexual experience.

no, you do not slip and fall into bed with another man.
i've never "accidentally" had sex with any one.
and i've had a lot of sex.

smh...here we go...

darling...if you are looking for bi-sexual men and homo-sexual men...take this question to a forum that is for them...you were gone all this time and this is the question you come back with?
you are truly something else...and thas all i'm gonna say in regard to this ignorant question....given the context of this site.

one love
khasm

Look lady, if a heterosexual brother gets worn down by the ladies he will try celibacy until he gets energized again. He won't go out and do the gay thing.
what are you trying to do now ID, called us a bunch of closet homosexuals?
Looks like IntuitionMD is about to get showed the door one mo time.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

Brothers, we shouldn't fear this question...let's use this question to set the record straight...these brothers on the so-called "down-low" are trying to once again confuse our sisters about Black men in general. Maybe our sister has been misinformed or lied to. Let's show Sister IntuitioninMD her supposition is flawed and without credibility.

Sister IntuitioninMD, I have respect for your query, but I’m trying to understand the nature of the question…because I was about to ask what were you smokin’… when you thought up this question…lol.

Have some Black women become so frustrated, that they think that’s the way it works? I never heard this one before…maybe you can give us more info on your theory.

Because if you think Black men try bi-sexuality for the same reason given by some women who become bi-sexual (relationship frustration) then you need to reexamine the overall subject. Matter of fact, the more I try to contemplate what seems to be a recent upsurge in Black women bi-sexuality, I start to understand that Black bi-sexual women are wired much differently in their thinking than possibly Black bi-sexual men or even lesbian white women. Even in this phenomenon, It seems that men and women may have exclusive natures.

if you find yourself sexing someone of the same sex it's because that's what you want to do.
it's really that simple.

everything else is just an excuse.

Brother James I agree, I think "some" Black bi-sexual women are using a certain excuse and there may be some of these "down-load brothers" trying to piggyback off this...in order to justify their reasons for being gay or closet homosexuals. I just want to make sure this type of reasoning and/or falsehood is not spread beyond those who know the truth. That's why your response is important and is now on the record...let's destroy this BS before it grows, like the other lies about Black men...

truth be told sun ship...i can care less as to the reasons md posed this question...to me, she has always hated on the black man since the day of her arrival...

WHO IN THERE COTTON-PICKIN MIND WOULD EQUATE BEING BORED AFTER SLEEPING WITH MULTIPLE WOMEN TO HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR...

this is simply more hater-aid on her part and i for one wish she would go back to wherever same came from...

bitterness of the heart can taint some individuals...and it's very easy to tell who...

one love
khasm

interesting but sad .........

This posting is not suppose to offend anyone. It is easy for people to ask women - when do they get to the point that they do not feel like dealing with men anymore.

So, I would like to know... the same about men. I have my theories, but I would like to know what the men have to say about this topic.

I hear men stating that they are tired of having to spend their money courting/dating women.

When do men get tired of having sex with so many women and start dating men?

After what number??? 3 women -- 10 women -- 100 women

This is going on... what do you think about this?!?!?!

I've noticed that the more a man experiences and tries new things he increases he chances of having a bisexual experience.


I'm a bit confused, do you date Men or woman??

I'm a bit confused, do you date Men or woman??
probably depends on the phases of the moon............. :donttell:

I think "some" Black bi-sexual women are using a certain excuse and there may be some of these "down-load brothers" trying to piggyback off this...in order to justify their reasons for being gay or closet homosexuals. I just want to make sure this type of reasoning and/or falsehood is not spread beyond those who know the truth. That's why your response is important and is now on the record...let's destroy this BS before it grows, like the other lies about Black men...

I believe this is called subsitution. IntuitioninMD is taking the reason many black women claim to be their motivation for becoming lesbians (dissatifaction with their male counterparts), and assigning it to black men. This is not only untrue as it pertains to the black man.....I don't believe it to be the truth about black women either! In order to have a sexual relationship with someone there has to be an attraction. No amount of dissatisfaction with men or women would cause one to start having a homosexual relationships, unless that person already had homosexual feelings.

I find the fascination of "DL" brothers by black women and the media to be both hypocritical & malicious. Indeed I view it to be nothing more than another campaign to demonize the black male. I remember vividly around the time homosexual author (homosexual not bisexual), JL King, started peddling his book on Oprah; New Jersey's white male governor, Jim Mcgreevy, also came public that he was a homosexual who had deceived his white wife for years. Interestingly enough this revelation did not start off discussions about "DL" dudes among white women. Why the double standard?

There are a considerable number of black females who are lesbian. I fail to see how bisexual black men are viewed as perverse when black lesbians are not. Indeed, many of those who are critical of the DL brother, are themselves lesbian. It isn't necessary to demonize others in order to justify ones own actions. This is really going on here. I never read JL King's book, I wasn't interested enough to do so (not even to rent it at the library). However from what I've been told the man is clearly a homosexual, and his book is nothing more than gay propoganda (an effort to add make his lifestyle seem normal). In addition to this, I view the entire concept of bisexuality to be gay propoganda! Either you are gay or you aren't. I view a bisexual as a homosexual that has not accepted who they are.

Our community is too quick to accept psychological studies & social trends which have ulterior motives. Like brother SunShip I think this is BS, and it needs to be dismissed! Black men has already been degraded in this society: We have gone from being 3/4 of a man...to the absentee father...the pimp...the player...now the closet homosexual (I can think of more, but I'm tired). Enough is enough!

Look lady, if a heterosexual brother gets worn down by the ladies he will try celibacy until he gets energized again. He won't go out and do the gay thing.
what are you trying to do now ID, called us a bunch of closet homosexuals?
Looks like IntuitionMD is about to get showed the door one mo time.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

True indeed.

Some time our people do feel more comfortable with denying important issues than acknowledging that Down-Low brothers do exist.

DL brothers would come and interact with a community such as this one and one were there are homosexuals.

I am not speaking for every women or every man. I simply asked a question.

I do not believe .. I read any comments posted that DID mention that there may be SOME men that do get tired of sleeping with so many women that they do begin to experience OTHER things -- bondage, toys, multiple woman at one time -- "swinging" clubs.

As far as a white woman's reaction to a down - low white guy <-- that simply does not make sense because they have accepting homosexual and bisexual behavior for centuries.

James -- asked the question in another posting " Do Black women like sex??? and when I ask a question about an issue that is not based on FICTION -- some people respond with anything but "there may be some black men that do become a bisexual person before they become a homosexual and that some became this way because of their lack of interest in women.

If you want to share your own experiences -- then that is fine too. I want everyone to share. But to try to speak for EVERYONE and act as if there are NOT any black men that have had that experience is a lie.

I do not have to attack my black brothers. I love my black brothers especially the ones that are not homophobic to the extent that they will have to deny the fact that they do no another "brother" that is a homosexual <-- even when he does try to make a past at him.

The TRUTH is that some of our people involve themselves in sexual practices that heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals ALL do and then categorize themselves according to whom they do these acts with...!!! But, if one day someone was to blind fold you... what would you do or NOT do???? In that one moment you could be taken to the other side -- just because of a blind fold. The blindfold allows you to not own up to what you did or what was done to you. It does not change what has happened. Some people use "closed doors" as blindfolds, "silence" and "secrets" as blindfolds <-- in some cases creating the down low brother.

I am not mad at these people or look down on them. I just wanted to discuss this topic with my brothers. :fairy:

I believe this is called subsitution. IntuitioninMD is taking the reason many black women claim to be their motivation for becoming lesbians (dissatifaction with their male counterparts), and assigning it to black men. This is not only untrue as it pertains to the black man.....I don't believe it to be the truth about black women either! In order to have a sexual relationship with someone there has to be an attraction. No amount of dissatisfaction with men or women would cause one to start having a homosexual relationships, unless that person already had homosexual feelings.

I find the fascination of "DL" brothers by black women and the media to be both hypocritical & malicious. Indeed I view it to be nothing more than another campaign to demonize the black male. I remember vividly around the time homosexual author (homosexual not bisexual), JL King, started peddling his book on Oprah; New Jersey's white male governor, Jim Mcgreevy, also came public that he was a homosexual who had deceived his white wife for years. Interestingly enough this revelation did not start off discussions about "DL" dudes among white women. Why the double standard?

There are a considerable number of black females who are lesbian. I fail to see how bisexual black men are viewed as perverse when black lesbians are not. Indeed, many of those who are critical of the DL brother, are themselves lesbian. It isn't necessary to demonize others in order to justify ones own actions. This is really going on here. I never read JL King's book, I wasn't interested enough to do so (not even to rent it at the library). However from what I've been told the man is clearly a homosexual, and his book is nothing more than gay propoganda (an effort to add make his lifestyle seem normal). In addition to this, I view the entire concept of bisexuality to be gay propoganda! Either you are gay or you aren't. I view a bisexual as a homosexual that has not accepted who they are.

Our community is too quick to accept psychological studies & social trends which have ulterior motives. Like brother SunShip I think this is BS, and it needs to be dismissed! Black men has already been degraded in this society: We have gone from being 3/4 of a man...to the absentee father...the pimp...the player...now the closet homosexual (I can think of more, but I'm tired). Enough is enough!


Society is more accepting of gay women regardless of race than it is of gay men.

Society is more accepting of gay women regardless of race than it is of gay men.

Don't get me wrong Karmashines, I'm not campaigning for the acceptance of either. I simply wanted to know what the reason for the double standard is.

Don't get me wrong Karmashines, I'm not campaigning for the acceptance of either. I simply wanted to know what the reason for the double standard is.

I think gay women are more accepted because men secretly think they can 'turn' them back. In other word's women's gayness is not taken seriously.

Gay men are seen as doing the worst thing imagineable to the minds of some men; abandoning society's ideal of masculinity. For many, being a gay man means that you are weak and powerless, thus more deserving to be viewed in a villianous manner.

As far as acceptance... the lack of acceptance of gay men, especially in the black community where emphasis is placed on being a 'real' man, is what contributes to the DL mentality. Why would someone who has gay feelings not be on the DL when they know if they come out there's going to be hell to pay?

Some time our people do feel more comfortable with denying important issues than acknowledging that Down-Low brothers do exist.

DL brothers would come and interact with a community such as this one and one were there are homosexuals.

I am not speaking for every women or every man. I simply asked a question.

I do not believe .. I read any comments posted that DID mention that there may be SOME men that do get tired of sleeping with so many women that they do begin to experience OTHER things -- bondage, toys, multiple woman at one time -- "swinging" clubs.

As far as a white woman's reaction to a down - low white guy <-- that simply does not make sense because they have accepting homosexual and bisexual behavior for centuries.

James -- asked the question in another posting " Do Black women like sex??? and when I ask a question about an issue that is not based on FICTION -- some people respond with anything but "there may be some black men that do become a bisexual person before they become a homosexual and that some became this way because of their lack of interest in women.

If you want to share your own experiences -- then that is fine too. I want everyone to share. But to try to speak for EVERYONE and act as if there are NOT any black men that have had that experience is a lie.

I do not have to attack my black brothers. I love my black brothers especially the ones that are not homophobic to the extent that they will have to deny the fact that they do no another "brother" that is a homosexual <-- even when he does try to make a past at him.

The TRUTH is that some of our people involve themselves in sexual practices that heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals ALL do and then categorize themselves according to whom they do these acts with...!!! But, if one day someone was to blind fold you... what would you do or NOT do???? In that one moment you could be taken to the other side -- just because of a blind fold. The blindfold allows you to not own up to what you did or what was done to you. It does not change what has happened. Some people use "closed doors" as blindfolds, "silence" and "secrets" as blindfolds <-- in some cases creating the down low brother.

I am not mad at these people or look down on them. I just wanted to discuss this topic with my brothers. :fairy:

Why did you ask the question if you have already assumed the anser is yes? And if the anser is yes then there ought to be plenty websites for and about DL brothas. Apparently the answer is no or you would not have to come here looking for straight brothahs to tell you about something they are not.

I think gay women are more accepted because men secretly think they can 'turn' them back. In other word's women's gayness is not taken seriously.

Gay men are seen as doing the worst thing imagineable to the minds of some men; abandoning society's ideal of masculinity. For many, being a gay man means that you are weak and powerless, thus more deserving to be viewed in a villianous manner.

As far as acceptance... the lack of acceptance of gay men, especially in the black community where emphasis is placed on being a 'real' man, is what contributes to the DL mentality. Why would someone who has gay feelings not be on the DL when they know if they come out there's going to be hell to pay?

I think there is the fantasy that both gay men and lesbians can be won back by the right member of the opposite sex. But one of the reasons gay women seem to be more accepted may be because affection between women is itself more acceptable in western society. Women can hug and even kiss one another and it is no big deal. A woman can tell another woman that she is beautiful or that she has a beautiful shape but how many men would tell another man that he is handsome?

You are right, it does have something to do with the concept of "real men." A lesbian is seen as strong. independant and courageous while a gay man, especially one who acts like a drag queen, is seen as shying away from his manly prowess and virility because he is too weak to accept it.

I think there is the fantasy that both gay men and lesbians can be won back by the right member of the opposite sex. But one of the reasons gay women seem to be more accepted may be because affection between women is itself more acceptable in western society. Women can hug and even kiss one another and it is no big deal. A woman can tell another woman that she is beautiful or that she has a beautiful shape but how many men would tell another man that he is handsome?

You are right, it does have something to do with the concept of "real men." A lesbian is seen as strong. independant and courageous while a gay man, especially one who acts like a drag queen, is seen as shying away from his manly prowess and virility because he is too weak to accept it.

in addition to this...most men have dreams of being with two women at the same time...lesbian sex is just one person short of the fantasy equation...

one love
khasm

in addition to this...most men have dreams of being with two women at the same time...lesbian sex is just one person short of the fantasy equation...

While most men (not all) have dreams of being with two women at the same time...the majority can't satisfy one woman any time!

People would rather avoid this subject and this is why the DOWN LOW BROTHER EXIST!!!! This is another way that women are getting HIV in the black community at an alarming rate.

While most men (not all) have dreams of being with two women at the same time...the majority can't satisfy one woman any time!

:lol:...:lol:...:lol:...what you talkin bout willis?


one love
khasm

People would rather avoid this subject and this is why the DOWN LOW BROTHER EXIST!!!! This is another way that women are getting HIV in the black community at an alarming rate.


says who?
f@g bwoy joe turned writer?
if this phenomenon had come from a more reliable source
maybe it would have more credence as an actual fact...
but in reality it originated as a money making scheme
and the white media along with the so-called black media
took it and ran...

actually...i'm quite mad at this DL thing
because i used to use this word all the time and it meant something totally different...now i can't even use it anymore without knumb-skulls thinking that i'm talking about something else...

my opinion about life is that if you go searching for something hard enough, you will eventually find it...

i wonder why the white media is not concerned with their DL gay men?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....i guess it's not news worthy enough...


one love
khasm

People would rather avoid this subject and this is why the DOWN LOW BROTHER EXIST!!!! This is another way that women are getting HIV in the black community at an alarming rate.

It is hard to acknowledge something you aren't doing IntuitioninMD. Repeat after me: "DL Brothers are homosexuals! They are homosexuals who have not accepted who they are". If you want to learn about homosexual behavior, then ask some homosexuals. Why do you think straight men are going to give you insight on homosexual behavior?

People would rather avoid this subject and this is why the DOWN LOW BROTHER EXIST!!!! This is another way that women are getting HIV in the black community at an alarming rate.
Honey you've got mad issues.

Why would you come here talking about what people avoid unless you think the brotthahs here are avoiding something. In other words you are implying that they are closet homosexuals.

Go on and deny this. I expect you to deny this. But weren't you the one who some time agocomplained that Blacks use sarcasm to imply things and then deny wheat they were implying? You swore up and down that you are so direct in your communications. Saying "Some people" so this and "some people do that" do that is not direct communication. It allows you to mtake a low blow against my brothahs and deny that you were talking about them.

So if you aren't implying that men here are in the closet then what is the point of your angst? What is your major malfunction and why are you here posting this garbage?

I have spoken with many of the brothahs here at Destee and I do not know of one who doesn't tell it like he sees it.

If you really, honestly and truly want to know about this issue I looked a website that might help you.

http://www.advocate.com/resources.asp

People would rather avoid this subject and this is why the DOWN LOW BROTHER EXIST!!!! This is another way that women are getting HIV in the black community at an alarming rate.
If you are really, truly and honestly interested in gaining information about hom/bisexual issues I have looked up this site thata may help you

http://www.advocate.com/resources.asp

Some time ago you came here complaining that Blacks use sarcasm to disguise what they are saying in order to deny it. You swore up and down that you are direct in your communications. But you are not being direct in this post. You say "people." What people do you mean exactly. And why should you come to us talking about what "people" do seeing as we are not those "people" and have no control over what they do?

If you are really, truly and honestly interested in gaining information about hom/bisexual issues I have looked up this site thata may help you

http://www.advocate.com/resources.asp

Some time ago you came here complaining that Blacks use sarcasm to disguise what they are saying in order to deny it. You swore up and down that you are direct in your communications. But you are not being direct in this post. You say "people." What people do you mean exactly. And why should you come to us talking about what "people" do seeing as we are not those "people" and have no control over what they do?


You might want to look up the definition of sarcasm.

It is hard to acknowledge something you aren't doing IntuitioninMD. Repeat after me: "DL Brothers are homosexuals! They are homosexuals who have not accepted who they are". If you want to learn about homosexual behavior, then ask some homosexuals. Why do you think straight men are going to give you insight on homosexual behavior?

Repeat after me "Down low brothers are black men that act like they are straight, but they sleep with men. How do you knowt that every black man that comes to this sight is STRAIGHT!!! Some people feel more comfortable denying what is true. How do you think that homosexual or bisexual brother feels when he sees that some of OUR people are denying his existence. Are you telling me that our community does not love all of our people inspite of what the sexual preference is.... I am not sure why some of our people would rather deny the fact that down low brothers exist.

If you are not one of them -- you do not have to reply to this thread. It is that simple. I am glad that you shared. Now, I feel like I know you better and you may feel the same way. The question is still do some men get tothe point that they are tired of dealing with women so they start having sex with men. If your answer is NO -- I am not a down low brother -- than I can respect that. Please allow the down low brothers that do exist and that may visit this sight respond. I am getting the feeling that if they do exist and visit this sight you do not want them to respond. These people are still part of the Black Community and they deserve the love and respect like everyone else.

:) :maddd:

:thinking: :thinking: says who?
f@g bwoy joe turned writer?
if this phenomenon had come from a more reliable source
maybe it would have more credence as an actual fact...
but in reality it originated as a money making scheme


i wonder why the white media is not concerned with their DL gay men?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....i guess it's not news worthy enough...


one love
khasm

Does it really make a difference that he mad money sharing his experience? Would you have liked it if he did not come out and told people that he was a DOWN LOW brother. If someone was to ask me if I am a murderer I would not get upset and start saying that there are not any murders in our communities. Some people feel more comfortable avoiding these types of subjects rather than talking about them. In the white community, they have been accepting of what use to be abnormal sexual behaviors for centuries. Some black men get with some white women because they would do WILDER things in bed. Some of these behaviors could have also aided in the creation of the downlow brother. Yet, some of our people do not want to talk about it. I believe this is a good opportunity for people to share -- especially if you do not want to BECOME A DOWN LOW BROTHER. If you do not want to become an alcoholic -- people need to point out behaviors that may lead to a person being an alcoholic.

:deal:

Repeat after me "Down low brothers are black men that act like they are straight, but they sleep with men. How do you knowt that every black man that comes to this sight is STRAIGHT!!! Some people feel more comfortable denying what is true. How do you think that homosexual or bisexual brother feels when he sees that some of OUR people are denying his existence. Are you telling me that our community does not love all of our people inspite of what the sexual preference is.... I am not sure why some of our people would rather deny the fact that down low brothers exist.

If you are not one of them -- you do not have to reply to this thread. It is that simple. I am glad that you shared. Now, I feel like I know you better and you may feel the same way. The question is still do some men get tothe point that they are tired of dealing with women so they start having sex with men. If your answer is NO -- I am not a down low brother -- than I can respect that. Please allow the down low brothers that do exist and that may visit this sight respond. I am getting the feeling that if they do exist and visit this sight you do not want them to respond. These people are still part of the Black Community and they deserve the love and respect like everyone else.
:) :maddd:

In any case, sister River gave you a website that might have answers to your questions, I suggest you check it out.

In any case, sister River gave you a website that might have answers to your questions, I suggest you check it out.

Are you implying that there are not ANY down low brothers in this community. Are you implying to me or to THEM that they are not welcome here -- Or that you do not care if they are here and that you do not want them to respond to a question like this in this community? Would you rather these men remain silent? Does this question make you feel uncomfortable???

:fairy:

Are you implying that there are not ANY down low brothers in this community. Are you implying to me or to THEM that they are not welcome here -- Or that you do not care if they are here and that you do not want them to respond to a question like this in this community? Would you rather these men remain silent? Does this question make you feel uncomfortable???

:fairy:

IntuitioninMD:

Are you implying that there are down low brothers in this community? If there were, then you would have been given the answers to your questions, instead of grabbing at straws (which is what you are currently doing). I am telling you that it is common sense if you want to know about homosexual behavior, ask some homosexuals. I find it hard to believe that you feel the information you are seeking would be available on this website. There are plenty of places that could provide the answers you seek, this is probably not one of them.

You might want to look up the definition of sarcasm.
Is that your answer? Wow how direct you are.

IntuitioninMD:

Are you implying that there are down low brothers in this community? If there were, then you would have been given the answers to your questions, instead of grabbing at straws (which is what you are currently doing). I am telling you that it is common sense if you want to know about homosexual behavior, ask some homosexuals. I find it hard to believe that you feel the information you are seeking would be available on this website. There are plenty of places that could provide the answers you seek, this is probably not one of them.

Are these questions not allowed in this community????

Are you implying that there are not ANY down low brothers in this community. Are you implying to me or to THEM that they are not welcome here -- Or that you do not care if they are here and that you do not want them to respond to a question like this in this community? Would you rather these men remain silent? Does this question make you feel uncomfortable???

:fairy:
i think silent is the least of our problems.
it's seems as though nowadays you can't shut them up.
i, for one, would rather these men remain silent.

how about shoving a few of them back into the closet! :getout:

Are you implying that there are not ANY down low brothers in this community. Are you implying to me or to THEM that they are not welcome here -- Or that you do not care if they are here and that you do not want them to respond to a question like this in this community? Would you rather these men remain silent? Does this question make you feel uncomfortable???

:fairy:

A man who is truly on the down-low would not be able to admit that he is gay, so asking such a question on a forum that does not cater to homosexual men would be futile. He would not answer truthfully.

Are you implying that there are not ANY down low brothers in this community. Are you implying to me or to THEM that they are not welcome here -- Or that you do not care if they are here and that you do not want them to respond to a question like this in this community? Would you rather these men remain silent? Does this question make you feel uncomfortable???

Sister IntuitioninMD ... the phrase "Down Low Brothers" implies that they do not want others to know. So if there are any here, what makes you think the posting of this thread is going to bring them out of the closet?

In essence you are coaxing them to be something other than they want, yet you suggest that we are implying they are not welcome here ?!?

If they are here, it's you, not us, that is probably making them the most uncomfortable ... seeing how you are trying to change their current status from DownLow to Out in Da Open.


Are these questions not allowed in this community????

Sister IntuitioninMD ... it's not that the questions are not allowed ... i think it is more about the fact that the majority of your queries / posts have proven to be disruptive to our peace.

If it is truly homosexuals that you are wanting to research, you may be better served by going to a site where these folk frequent openly. I'm sure one or two of them were "DL" prior to coming out, and would be happy to guide you on your quest for knowledge.

:heart:

Destee

i think silent is the least of our problems.
it's seems as though nowadays you can't shut them up.
i, for one, would rather these men remain silent.

how about shoving a few of them back into the closet! :getout:

It's hate and intolerance that causes so many to be on the 'down low.'

If someone wants to be gay, they should be allowed to do so without being emotionally tortured by society. As long as they are using protection (which is important for straight people as well), act in a monogamus matter (if they are in such a relationship), their sexual practices is a concern only to themselves and their partner.

So, if the black community, (or any community for that matter), wants to lessen the occurences of 'down-low' people don't denigrate those that do decide to disclose they are homosexual.

I think gay women are more accepted because men secretly think they can 'turn' them back. In other word's women's gayness is not taken seriously.

Gay men are seen as doing the worst thing imagineable to the minds of some men; abandoning society's ideal of masculinity. For many, being a gay man means that you are weak and powerless, thus more deserving to be viewed in a villianous manner.

As far as acceptance... the lack of acceptance of gay men, especially in the black community where emphasis is placed on being a 'real' man, is what contributes to the DL mentality. Why would someone who has gay feelings not be on the DL when they know if they come out there's going to be hell to pay?

I agree. Most black men look at homosexual men as a man who has willingly given up his masculinity. The white man has always wanted to do that since we set foot onto South Carolina soil. We just look at homosexual men (especially openly gay feminine black men) as doing their work for them.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

People would rather avoid this subject and this is why the DOWN LOW BROTHER EXIST!!!! This is another way that women are getting HIV in the black community at an alarming rate.

Here's a little known medical fact for you MD. It's easier for a woman to pass HIV along to a man than the other way around. Women can also pass it along to another woman. Look at the stats dear, more women are getting it than men, and they aren't all getting it from brothers. As far as DL men, they exist for one reason, and that's because there will always be selfish and irresponsible men.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

It's hate and intolerance that causes so many to be on the 'down low.'

If someone wants to be gay, they should be allowed to do so without being emotionally tortured by society. As long as they are using protection (which is important for straight people as well), act in a monogamous matter (if they are in such a relationship), their sexual practices is a concern only to themselves and their partner.

So, if the black community, (or any community for that matter), wants to lessen the occurrences of 'down-low' people don't denigrate those that do decide to disclose they are homosexual.
i'm not haten, i'm tired!
i'm tired of opening my daily newspaper and seeing them staring back at me.
i'm tired of seeing them all over my TV.
i'm really tired of the big boost they gave to Bush's re-election.:censored:
why can't gay people keep it to theirselves? :donttell:

Don't get me wrong Karmashines, I'm not campaigning for the acceptance of either. I simply wanted to know what the reason for the double standard is.

I think there is a double standard because so many MEN think it's HOT or SEXY to see two women together...whereas most women are repulsed by seeing two men together. (although I am equally repulsed by seeing two women together).

Here's a little known medical fact for you MD. It's easier for a woman to pass HIV along to a man than the other way around. Women can also pass it along to another woman. Look at the stats dear, more women are getting it than men, and they aren't all getting it from brothers. As far as DL men, they exist for one reason, and that's because there will always be selfish and irresponsible men.

That's my "BIG" opinion.


BigTown, where did you get that info from, good brother???(smile!)
That sounds crazy, frankly... Like the old "you can get it by touching" mentality... Nah, brother, don't think you can get away with that sort of stuff without passing the muster of providing proof...

Peace!
Isaiah

I think there is a double standard because so many MEN think it's HOT or SEXY to see two women together...whereas most women are repulsed by seeing two men together. (although I am equally repulsed by seeing two women together).

As am I..........!

:thinking: :thinking:

Does it really make a difference that he mad money sharing his experience? Would you have liked it if he did not come out and told people that he was a DOWN LOW brother. If someone was to ask me if I am a murderer I would not get upset and start saying that there are not any murders in our communities. Some people feel more comfortable avoiding these types of subjects rather than talking about them. In the white community, they have been accepting of what use to be abnormal sexual behaviors for centuries. Some black men get with some white women because they would do WILDER things in bed. Some of these behaviors could have also aided in the creation of the downlow brother. Yet, some of our people do not want to talk about it. I believe this is a good opportunity for people to share -- especially if you do not want to BECOME A DOWN LOW BROTHER. If you do not want to become an alcoholic -- people need to point out behaviors that may lead to a person being an alcoholic.

:deal:


if black folks were not so paranoid...it would not make a huge difference...last year, i met this black woman on the street... we went out a couple of times and on the second date she wanted to go to home base...i've been around the block a couple of times in my life and i've reached the point where if a woman is too easy, i don't want her. it turns me off to be frank, i believe that woman and men both should respect their body and themselves. offended that i did not want to get down with her, she labeled me as a down low brotha, in her mind, i had to be if i didn't want to have sex with her.this is the problem that i have with this so called phenomon...

sister md....destee has pointed out the flaws in your logic in terms of asking a question that a dl brother surely would not answer...so i ask, what is your purpose here? in every post you have made since your return to this site....you bash black men...are we really that bad?

one love
khasm

sister md....destee has pointed out the flaws in your logic in terms of asking a question that a dl brother surely would not answer...so i ask, what is your purpose here? in every post you have made since your return to this site....you bash black men...are we really that bad?

one love
khasm

What I find interesting is the fact that I did not directly or indirectly call any of the men DOWN LOW brothers. I have not exhibited hate like some of my fellow community participants.

It is interesting when I bring up an important topic such as this... it is so criticized -- for being a black male bashing attempt. That is foolishness. Most of us on this site may not hang out and go to dinner with one another and it -- like other sites -- still allow a person to express him/herself without everyone REALLY knowing who he or she is.

Destee -- It is sad that you find this posting DISRUPTIVE , but not the "Do black women like sex or Oral Sex -- where another probably black woman like you and I states "... this is how to KEEP yo man" There have been many postings within your community that our KIDS can read and I try to reply to some of the inappropriate postings with positive information for our kids to read.

There is a double standard. There is a person within this community that most of the time spends his time saying that inappropriate but I have never seen you to this person that his comments are inappropriate. I am getting a "we love some Black people , but not all Black people" "We welcome inappropriate and abnormal comments from some but not all.

I was not implying that homosexuals, bi-sexuals, ... are not welcome in this community... I was getting the impression that one of the moderators was saying that this discussion would be better some place else.

There are some black people that are gay that are coming to your website... just like some women who like oral sex... and if those women can feel comfortable talking about their Oral Sex experience .. how come.. we cannot have a mature discussion about Down Low brothers. Yes, down low does mean that they do not want MOST people to know.. but we know that most people that chat over the internet hide their identity to be accepted and to be able to express things that they would not be able to express out in the open.

I have really enjoyed chatting with you -- but I do not agree that this posting is disruptive. There is an element of truth behind the question that I posed. Please review my statements on this thread again... and you will see that I am not being disruptive at all. Furthermore, I did not think that you would have to like every questioned that is posed within your website. Down low brothers and sisters exist. The women can easily express their bisexual fantasies or tendencies.. I know that most like there is at least one down-low brother that visits this website.

I do not go throughout life only talking about topics and issues that the majority of people want to hear. Our people need to be able to discuss issues such as this one without so much bias. I was hoping if there are not any down low men === then there would be no responses.

Please continue to be fair when critiquing my threads.

Thanks Destee :)

I should not have to shut up.. because there are some NON down low men that do not like me asking the down low brothers questions. I think they should feel welcome too.

I should not have to shut up.. because there are some NON down low men that do not like me asking the down low brothers questions. I think they should feel welcome too.
why?

why should a down low brother be welcome?
this is an individual who brings harm and pain to the community.

i would welcome a straight out sissy way before a down low arse hole.
if you can not perceive the damage that people like this do it makes me doubt your judgment.
if you want to hook up with a down low brother why don't you go find one for your self?
why do i have to hear about it? :donttell:

Hotep

There were no such things as Homo-sexuals in (KMT) Afrika un-till some time much, much, much later into the time of some black men and women allowing them selves to be corrupted by the (Westen-Mind) white race. No Original-Mind or Black-so-called Afrikan would even think of the thoughts some of us have learned to think exceptable today. This confused condition exsist today in parts of Afrika "Only" because some have allowed them selves to be saduced by their out-right open-enemy for money.

"In the Afrikan Village, every one takes part in the up-bring of the children, when the young boy in this case reaches a certain age, he is then "Initiated into Man-Hood" by the village elders; he is taught the ways of the "Warrior"!

Among all Europian and Simitic groups, it is historicly documented of this "Strange" perverted behavior between two men. The Arabs history tells of it being common for men to have young boys for this same dis-eased habit. Unles a person is born with the birth defect of being "Hamorphidyte",meaning:born with both sexes; the only excuse a Black-Male in America could have is "Choice". A (Mind) Man is Naturaly attracted to a (Mind) Woman; Male attraction to another Male is "Most" un-natural. So the answer to this question of how long does it take a Black-Man to get tired of the Black-Woman is,..."No Such Thing" in the Natural Order of Things".
During Slavery the Freaky Slave Masters forced his and her Filthy will on our people; this was and is the begining of Corrupted, Perverted, Freakish, Sadistic, Sodomite ,Immoral and un-Natural habits practice by some of our Males today.
Note: Sodomy is Filthy and creates Dis-Ease and there is no question about this.
Brothers and Sisters, "We have allowd the Un-Natural so called Europian to Define Normality for Us"!!

Ase`

BigTown, where did you get that info from, good brother???(smile!)
That sounds crazy, frankly... Like the old "you can get it by touching" mentality... Nah, brother, don't think you can get away with that sort of stuff without passing the muster of providing proof...

Peace!
Isaiah

why does that sound crazy to you? It is a fact that there are more women with HIV than men that is statistically a fact. It's only logical that black men are more at risk at this point. check out the numbers brother!. I'm not suggesting that black women are any less moral than black men or that we should give up our women, I Most def will not. I do however believe that DL men are busters in definate need of an @$$ kicking.

We all need to move carefully.
monogamy is the key.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

Hotep

If a woman is not born with HIV, there is only two ways for her to get this dreded dis-ease.

(1). She has to share Drug nedles or receive a infected Transfusion in a hospital ect.

Or

(2) "She has to get it from a Male who practices Sodomy and gives it to her.


Ase`

During Slavery the Freaky Slave Masters forced his and her Filthy will on our people; this was and is the begining of Corrupted, Perverted, Freakish, Sadistic, Sodomite ,Immoral and un-Natural habits practice by some of our Males today.
Note: Sodomy is Filthy and creates Dis-Ease and there is no question about this.
Brothers and Sisters, "We have allowd the Un-Natural so called Europian to Define Normality for Us"!!

Ase`

Okay -- oral sex and anal sex should go into these categories too -- but for some reason -- we feel more comfortable accepting those behaviors if they are done with the opposite sex. This reminds me of the days when people thought it was okay to treat black people like they were not humans.

Probably most of the time the same things that the down low brother has done with men he has also done with women.

Maybe some down low brothers grew up in families where their mothers were to controlling to the point that they never wanted to move out of the house.

Maybe some of the down low brothers had their first experience when he had his first threesome with 2 men and 1 woman.

Maybe some of the down low brothers were seduced by other men.

Maybe -- just maybe some men became down low brothers because how they were allowed to have sex with some women -- they decided that they wanted that same experience with a man.

Maybe once a brother was viewed as being a metrosexual type person. He cared about his appearance more than the women that he dated.

Maybe he became a down low brother because he had a really bad experience with a woman were she wanted to have anal and oral sex rather than vaginal sex.

Maybe he became a down low brother because he was molested by a woman when he was a kid.

Maybe he became a down low brother because some women have became too fake -- fake hair -- fake eyes -- ...

Maybe he became a down low brother just because he likes being with men and just does not want anyone else to know about it. Usually these men are said to be bi-sexual and not gay.

Maybe things got out of control at a swinging event with the "upper middle class".

Maybe he decided that it is easier for him to please men than women.

Maybe he is more attracted to a males body than the female body.

Maybe he has watched to much pornography.

Maybe he became a down low brother because he has had a sexual experience with a woman that liked toys and experimented on him.

I am a Black woman -- that simply would like to know what signs to look for that he may want to be with a man instead.

I have seen more homophobic responses than anything else.

I know that women have the power to make or break a man.

I am not trying to make any of my masculine black brothers bi-sexuals or homosexuals. If it is not in you... than it is not in you... but do not deny that some people do live that type of life style.

I do not agree that this posting is disruptive.

Sister IntuitioninMd ... you don't have to agree.

You might want to review our forum rules (http://destee.com/rules), where it clearly states ... if in our opinion.

You have already been banned from this community once, and allowed to return (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30919).

Not only do you bring topics that disrupt our peace, your Spirit is disruptive.

You can agree or not agree ... it makes no difference.

:heart:

Destee

I am a Black woman -- that simply would like to know what signs to look for that he may want to be with a man instead.

that is a reasonable question.

now, why don't you go to a gay site and ask those brothers that question?
why do you ask me that question?
i have no experience and i can not help you.

now i have a question for you.
what does your dictionary say for "chill out"?

I am a Black woman -- that simply would like to know what signs to look for that he may want to be with a man instead.
I am not trying to make any of my masculine black brothers bi-sexuals or homosexuals. If it is not in you... than it is not in you... but do not deny that some people do live that type of life style.

Originally posted in the Oral Sex Thread:

Some men like strap-ons and multiple partners.

It looks like you already know the answer to your question IntuitioninMD, if this isn't enough, I hear JL King's ex-wife has a new book out.

:) This is sad.

:) This is sad.

then i guess you'll be leaving ?

:heart:

Destee

then i guess you'll be leaving ?

:heart:

Destee
:look: *singing* i WISH I wish I wishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

:garbage: :getout:

:huh: oh hehehe gee how did those smilies get in here :read: hmmmm

I wonder if a so called "down low" brutha came out to this "community" if they would be embraced and applauded even as Sista Kwango_Likemba was for so openly discussing her homo/bi-sexuality and gender dysmorphia. She even went so far as to apologize for possibly making folks feel uncomfortable by writing about it in this very same forum and was assured by several Destee members that she had nothing to apologize for and that in fact they were honored that she felt safe enough to divulge her feelings with her "family" here at Destee's... I would have to go back and review all of her threads to be completely sure, but I don't remember anyone asking Sister Kwango what her purpose for posting here at Destee's was or telling her that there was no one like her here in this community etc..

How about it Destee Famblee; what makes this thread disruptive while Kwango_Likemba's was not considered to be disruptive in the least ???

Much Peace ~
Akilah
:grouphug:

Sister IntuitionMD is there a point to your questioning? In my threads I'm trying build relationships between men and women. Only by building solid relationships between men and women will we have successful families with both parents involved in their childrens lives. Rebuilding the black family will rebuild the black nation. I will give you the benifit of the doubt. Maybe you are trying to understand the causes that keep us separated to hopefully find a solution to better equip you in dealing with your relation. Maybe you have a positive contribution to make to black people based upon you studies. Or maybe you're venting the frustrations you have with dealing with men. Either way I truly hope there something beneficial that could be said when all is said and done...



Peace my Sister....

I wonder if a so called "down low" brutha came out to this "community" if they would be embraced and applauded even as Sista Kwango_Likemba was for so openly discussing her homo/bi-sexuality and gender dysmorphia. She even went so far as to apologize for possibly making folks feel uncomfortable by writing about it in this very same forum and was assured by several Destee members that she had nothing to apologize for and that in fact they were honored that she felt safe enough to divulge her feelings with her "family" here at Destee's... I would have to go back and review all of her threads to be completely sure, but I don't remember anyone asking Sister Kwango what her purpose for posting here at Destee's was or telling her that there was no one like her here in this community etc..

How about it Destee Famblee; what makes this thread disruptive while Kwango_Likemba's was not considered to be disruptive in the least ???

Much Peace ~
Akilah
:grouphug:

Sister Akilah ... the difference between Sister IntuitioninMD and Sister Kwango is the following:

Sister Kwango has never done anything, to my knowledge, to receive any type of warning, let alone one regarding the breaking of our peace.

Sister IntuitioninMd has not only received many warnings, she's been banned, and even allowed to return.

With thousands of Members, thousands of posts, thousands of threads, we only have so much time to invest in any one Member. Sister IntuitioninMD has used all that time, and then some.

Sister Kwango was asking for help for her own self. She sincerely presented her personal dilema, and was met with much respect, warmth and concern. I'm sure most anyone doing the same, will receive the same.

Sister IntuitioninMD was bringing some homosexual discussion, seeking knowledge, advice, or something ... regarding homosexual issues ... when we have no homosexuals in the house ... at least none that have presented themselves as such.

These are major differences Sister.

:heart:

Destee

I wonder if a so called "down low" brutha came out to this "community" if they would be embraced and applauded even as Sista Kwango_Likemba was for so openly discussing her homo/bi-sexuality and gender dysmorphia. She even went so far as to apologize for possibly making folks feel uncomfortable by writing about it in this very same forum and was assured by several Destee members that she had nothing to apologize for and that in fact they were honored that she felt safe enough to divulge her feelings with her "family" here at Destee's... I would have to go back and review all of her threads to be completely sure, but I don't remember anyone asking Sister Kwango what her purpose for posting here at Destee's was or telling her that there was no one like her here in this community etc..How about it Destee Famblee; what makes this thread disruptive while Kwango_Likemba's was not considered to be disruptive in the least ???

Much Peace ~
Akilah
:grouphug:

The difference between Kwango_Likemba & IntuitioninMD is simply context & presentation. As Destee said Kwango_Likemba wrote threads asking for help & advice. She did this both on her sexuality, and her native country. IntuitioninMD wrote thread to paint black men in a negative light. She is condescending and negative. She is also consistent. If you read through their threads, not just the thread titles, it is quite easy to see that difference between the two.

why does that sound crazy to you? It is a fact that there are more women with HIV than men that is statistically a fact. It's only logical that black men are more at risk at this point. check out the numbers brother!. I'm not suggesting that black women are any less moral than black men or that we should give up our women, I Most def will not. I do however believe that DL men are busters in definate need of an @$$ kicking.

We all need to move carefully.
monogamy is the key.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

Brother Mr. Bigtown, I didn't take exception to your stats based the morality or, lack thereof, of Black Women or Men... I took exception to your implying that Black Women are the ones transmitting HIV/AIDS to Black Men, and are responsible for this epidemic in our communities world-wide...

The fact that less African men might have HIV is two-fold, beloved... One, women outnumber us from jumpstreet, but the most important fact is that African Men are sleeping with MORE than ONE Partner, and are spreading the disease with every sista they're sleeping with...

So, before you get excited with your logic, check out mine, brother... Aint mad at'cha in the least...

And, brother Moorfius, more heterosexual brothers spreading this disease than so-called down-low cats... If it's all about DL cats spreading this disease, alone, then there is more homosexuality in our communities than we realize... I hate to say this, but our high rates of incarceration may be responsible for that... See what I'm talking about is African people taking responsibility for the garbage that goes down in our communities so, at the very least, we can attack the problem intelligently... DENIAL of those problems HURTS US, and serves our enemies our behinds on a silver platter...

Peace!
Isaiah

Peace!
Isaiah

This was sort of a weird thread…after my initial comments I’ve comeback to see this thread has really taken-off…I think the question or suppositions was handled boldly as usual, by the members and family here.

The fact that someone was banned probably doesn’t concern me, one-way or the other…for we are all here by privilege, not by right. In a strange way, though I disagree with the sister’s proposal and probably her overall approach to this subject, I respect her for at least allowing herself to be banned, regardless if we feel she was right or wrong.

I wanted everyone to respond to this subject, because I believe all things can be tried by the fire…and Black men are faced with the most unbelievable lies and distortions inserted into the media and public arena from even a more craftier and vicious approach than what was attempted in the origin of this thread. Even some of the most vehement instigations, are good for sharpening the skills.

I hope what was shown here, is that Black men are secure in their heterosexual masculinity and do not fear this type of querying, but it obvious this sister has some other issues going on and couldn’t handle her business. So...such is life…Also, I applaud Destee, for at least showing enough tolerance, so the sister could get her view across before being banned, regardless how convoluted some believed IntuitionMD reasoning was.

Peace :cool:

Brother Mr. Bigtown, I didn't take exception to your stats based the morality or, lack thereof, of Black Women or Men... I took exception to your implying that Black Women are the ones transmitting HIV/AIDS to Black Men, and are responsible for this epidemic in our communities world-wide...

The fact that less African men might have HIV is two-fold, beloved... One, women outnumber us from jumpstreet, but the most important fact is that African Men are sleeping with MORE than ONE Partner, and are spreading the disease with every sista they're sleeping with...

So, before you get excited with your logic, check out mine, brother... Aint mad at'cha in the least...

And, brother Moorfius, more heterosexual brothers spreading this disease than so-called down-low cats... If it's all about DL cats spreading this disease, alone, then there is more homosexuality in our communities than we realize... I hate to say this, but our high rates of incarceration may be responsible for that... See what I'm talking about is African people taking responsibility for the garbage that goes down in our communities so, at the very least, we can attack the problem intelligently... DENIAL of those problems HURTS US, and serves our enemies our behinds on a silver platter...

Peace!
Isaiah

Peace!
Isaiah

Isaiah my brother, BIGTOWN doesn't get upset when someone disagrees with his "BIG" opinion. I wasn't basing anything on morality (I believe I made that clear) I also wasn't implying that black women are the ones responsible for this plague. You stated that men have multiple partners. May I be so bold as to say that black men aren't the only ones with multiple sex partners brother, and not all black women are sleeping with just black men either. Let's also take into consideration IV drug usage.

What I was merely trying to point out is that most of what you find in the media and on chat forums are discussions about how black women can protect themselves against DL ( black) men and very little discussion about how heterosexual men need to protect ourselves also. It's almost as if we are exempt from catching this deadly desease based on the fact that we are heterosexual. You stated that DL men have multiple sex partners. Unfortunately those evil worms aren't the only ones being deceitful. Many heterosexual men deep down still believe that we can sex up as many women as we want without worrying because we sex up women only. As if our sexuality alone is enough to protect us. With the number of women with HIV being as high as it is, if we have that mentallity, (and far too many of us do) that automatically makes us more at risk.

As far as incarcerated fellas, It is a fact that many of the HIV cases can be traced to them. Most of the long-timers ingage in homosexual acts while in prison, and continue to ingage in them when they are released. That's another reason why I believe black women should not look towards a prison inmate for companionship.

It's time to walk carefully people, monogamy is the key.
For black men and black women.

That's my "BIG" opinion.

I wonder if a so called "down low" brutha came out to this "community" if they would be embraced and applauded even as Sista Kwango_Likemba was for so openly discussing her homo/bi-sexuality and gender dysmorphia. She even went so far as to apologize for possibly making folks feel uncomfortable by writing about it in this very same forum and was assured by several Destee members that she had nothing to apologize for and that in fact they were honored that she felt safe enough to divulge her feelings with her "family" here at Destee's... I would have to go back and review all of her threads to be completely sure, but I don't remember anyone asking Sister Kwango what her purpose for posting here at Destee's was or telling her that there was no one like her here in this community etc..

How about it Destee Famblee; what makes this thread disruptive while Kwango_Likemba's was not considered to be disruptive in the least ???

Much Peace ~
Akilah
:grouphug:
Hey Sistah AAkilah,

I think the main difference is Intuition herself. She has a not so distant history of being disruptive and antagonistic towards Black men. This sudden concern for the DL Brother is just another attack hiding behind a worthy cause.

As you can see we don't have a problem with people expressing how they feel about their personal situations. However, we have a serious problem with people like Intuition coming here with her passive-aggressive antagonism, thinly disguised insinuations and general negative vibes toward our brothas and then towards the sistahs for defending the brothahs. She wants to tell us what people do on white websites. Nobody asked her what they do on white websites. We did however advise her that her questions would be better answered on a gay website

Girlfriend just has a lot of issues that apparently weren't resolved in the least during her sabbatical.

[system] IntuitioninMD enters room.
IntuitioninMD to All You know Destee.. it does not upset me that you
IntuitioninMD to All blocked me from your fake
IntuitioninMD to All website
IntuitioninMD to All you do not value Black peolpe with morals
IntuitioninMD to All the last thing that I said was
IntuitioninMD to All I live on a higher level and then you blocked me
IntuitioninMD to All like you are Hitler
IntuitioninMD to All I am thinking about reporting your website to the authorities any how
IntuitioninMD to All hopefully you will read this when you come back
[system] IntuitioninMD was kicked out by OP - reason:

whoa :read:

hmmmmm... :thinking:

well... we can say sista kwango neva did THAT smh

whoa :read:

hmmmmm... :thinking:

well... we can say sista kwango neva did THAT smh

I believe that is what you call "true colors"!

i wonder what charges she's gonna bring up on us?:explode:


one love
khasm

Some people really need a life.

PEACE

i wonder what charges she's gonna bring up on us?

I would guess: Too Black....Too Strong!