I know that most black women are very well aware of the interracial dating disparity between black women and black men. But do black women realize the repercussions of this disparity? I’m sure many black women have heard the line, “Stop worrying about the black men who only date white women, and focus on the black men who will date black women”. But this line of thinking results a large number of women focusing on a much fewer number of men, and as we will see, this also creates problems. The following example is both a simplification, and exaggeration to better illustrate the dating dynamics between men and women.

Imagine if there were 5 single men and 5 single women stuck on an island. The relative social worth of men and women would be about equal, as there would be no extra demand for men or women. Neither men, nor women would have the upper hand in relationships.

Now imagine if there were 8 men and 2 women. The social dynamics would be greatly different. The women would be in great demand, and would have a huge upper-hand in social relationships. Women could basically have requirements, make demands, and make men jump through hoops in order to compete.

Now imagine if there were 6 men and 4 women. While the advantage for women would not be as extreme as in the previous example, the same dynamics are still in effect, and women would still have the upper hand. Keep these examples in mind.

I have heard that as many as 35-40% of black men date interracially, while only about 2% of black women do. This leaves 60-65% of black men who do NOT date interracially, and 98% of black women who do NOT date interracially. This means that 98% of black women are competing for 60-65% of black men. This is where the island example comes in. While this imbalance is not as extreme as the island example, the same dynamics are still at work. Black men have a huge advantage in relationships with black women, and can pretty much make demands, and call the shots.

And to compound this issue, the entertainment industry’s portrayals of black men, and black women have increased this gap in social standing. Black men are increasingly being portrayed as “strong, manly, and handsome”. In other words, black men are often portrayed as “Alpha Males”. By comparison, black women are rarely if ever portrayed as “Alpha Females”. And to make matters worse, when black women ARE portrayed as beautiful, and desirable, they are usually half WHITE or look half white.

Also, black men enjoy much more representation in the entertainment industry than black women. While there have been many studies regarding the under-representation of blacks in the leading roles in movies, it is never broken down by gender. If it was, we would see that yes, black women are indeed under-represented, but black males are actually OVER-represented. So while complaints from the black community bemoan the under-representation of black people in the entertainment industry, more and more roles are being offered to blacks. But these roles seem to be only offered to black MEN, not black women. Think of all of the movies that have come out in the last few years with black males as lead characters. Now compare the number of movies that have black women as lead characters. The gap is very obvious.

My point in all of this is that the social acceptance that black men have begun to enjoy in recent years does not necessarily benefit black women. It should be pointed out that black WOMEN in the media are still under-represented and disrespected in general. Also, the interracial dating disparity will continue to put black women at a disadvantage, and the only way to decrease this disparity is for black women to become more open-minded about dating men of other races. Keep in mind that while stereotypes regarding black women aren’t true, stereotypes regarding men of other races are also not true.

Here we go again.

I know that most black women are very well aware of the interracial dating disparity between black women and black men. But do black women realize the repercussions of this disparity? I’m sure many black women have heard the line, “Stop worrying about the black men who only date white women, and focus on the black men who will date black women”. But this line of thinking results a large number of women focusing on a much fewer number of men, and as we will see, this also creates problems. The following example is both a simplification, and exaggeration to better illustrate the dating dynamics between men and women.

Imagine if there were 5 single men and 5 single women stuck on an island. The relative social worth of men and women would be about equal, as there would be no extra demand for men or women. Neither men, nor women would have the upper hand in relationships.

Now imagine if there were 8 men and 2 women. The social dynamics would be greatly different. The women would be in great demand, and would have a huge upper-hand in social relationships. Women could basically have requirements, make demands, and make men jump through hoops in order to compete.

Now imagine if there were 6 men and 4 women. While the advantage for women would not be as extreme as in the previous example, the same dynamics are still in effect, and women would still have the upper hand. Keep these examples in mind.

I have heard that as many as 35-40% of black men date interracially, while only about 2% of black women do. This leaves 60-65% of black men who do NOT date interracially, and 98% of black women who do NOT date interracially. This means that 98% of black women are competing for 60-65% of black men. This is where the island example comes in. While this imbalance is not as extreme as the island example, the same dynamics are still at work. Black men have a huge advantage in relationships with black women, and can pretty much make demands, and call the shots.

And to compound this issue, the entertainment industry’s portrayals of black men, and black women have increased this gap in social standing. Black men are increasingly being portrayed as “strong, manly, and handsome”. In other words, black men are often portrayed as “Alpha Males”. By comparison, black women are rarely if ever portrayed as “Alpha Females”. And to make matters worse, when black women ARE portrayed as beautiful, and desirable, they are usually half WHITE or look half white.

Also, black men enjoy much more representation in the entertainment industry than black women. While there have been many studies regarding the under-representation of blacks in the leading roles in movies, it is never broken down by gender. If it was, we would see that yes, black women are indeed under-represented, but black males are actually OVER-represented. So while complaints from the black community bemoan the under-representation of black people in the entertainment industry, more and more roles are being offered to blacks. But these roles seem to be only offered to black MEN, not black women. Think of all of the movies that have come out in the last few years with black males as lead characters. Now compare the number of movies that have black women as lead characters. The gap is very obvious.

My point in all of this is that the social acceptance that black men have begun to enjoy in recent years does not necessarily benefit black women. It should be pointed out that black WOMEN in the media are still under-represented and disrespected in general. Also, the interracial dating disparity will continue to put black women at a disadvantage, and the only way to decrease this disparity is for black women to become more open-minded about dating men of other races. Keep in mind that while stereotypes regarding black women aren’t true, stereotypes regarding men of other races are also not true.


You're absolutely right Kente, here we go again! why to some negroes insist on coming to this website trying to convince us that going outside of our race is the solution to our problems. It's as if they think there is a mass exodus black men running to the waiting arms of white, latin and asian women. Give me a D@*n break.

You're absolutely right Kente, here we go again! why to some negroes insist on coming to this website trying to convince us that going outside of our race is the solution to our problems. It's as if they think there is a mass exodus black men running to the waiting arms of white, latin and asian women. Give me a D@*n break.

If you disagree with my argument, then why not address the issue in question rather than putting words into my mouth? I never said there is a "mass exodus of black men running to the waiting arms of white, latin and asian women." I merely provided some statistics, that from my observation are quite accurate.

I also gave a very simple example of supply and demand and how it relates to the social dynamics between men and women. Apperently, you do not understand this concept. Or perhaps you're a black male who DOES understand this concept, but don't want to give up your advantage.

And regarding your comment about going outside of your race, if more black women went outside of their race, the IR disparity WOULD diminish, and the social gap WOULD decrease. It's a simple matter of supply and demand.

You just sound as if you LIKE the fact that black men have all of the leverage in relationships with black women. You have also failed to address the issue of black women being under-represented in the entertainment industry, and generally being overlooked.

one mo time.

40 percent of black me do not date IR.
you are wrong.

i don't think any do on this site.
you are irrelevant.

you keep coming back with the same old s$$$$t
you are irrational.

let it rest my friend.

You just sound as if you LIKE the fact that black men have all of the leverage in relationships with black women.

What planet do you live on where black men have all the leverage in relationships with black women?

If you disagree with my argument, then why not address the issue in question rather than putting words into my mouth? I never said there is a "mass exodus of black men running to the waiting arms of white, latin and asian women." I merely provided some statistics, that from my observation are quite accurate.

I also gave a very simple example of supply and demand and how it relates to the social dynamics between men and women. Apperently, you do not understand this concept. Or perhaps you're a black male who DOES understand this concept, but don't want to give up your advantage.

And regarding your comment about going outside of your race, if more black women went outside of their race, the IR disparity WOULD diminish, and the social gap WOULD decrease. It's a simple matter of supply and demand.

You just sound as if you LIKE the fact that black men have all of the leverage in relationships with black women. You have also failed to address the issue of black women being under-represented in the entertainment industry, and generally being overlooked.


I addressed your alleged statistics as I saw fit to do so. This ridiculous argument has been rehashed, time and time again. Every single perspective with respect to this issues has been thoroughly articulated, with the same results. So please tell the family what it is that you can offer, more enlightening than what has already been said? In fact why are you bringing this up on a website designed to bring black people together, rather than look at "options" from outside our race?

"Black men have all the leverage in a relationship" if that's not a cop out and self-defeatest attitude, I don't know what one is. You sound like you like being a victim.

one mo time.

40 percent of black me do not date IR.
you are wrong.

i don't think any do on this site.
you are irrelevant.

you keep coming back with the same old s$$$$t
you are irrational.

let it rest my friend.

Are you saying there ISN'T a huge interracial dating disparity? Because, if so, we all know that is a lie. And are you saying that the law of supply and demand is just a lie? It has been proven true for generations.

And my argument is totally rational.

What planet do you live on where black men have all the leverage in relationships with black women?


It's called planet Fantasy Island

In fact why are you bringing this up on a website designed to bring black people together, rather than look at "options" from outside our race?

Actually, I AM trying to bring black women together. But, the issues that black women face are not the same as what black men face. Black men are on a higher social rung than black women. Black men are in more demand. And one of the reasons for this is because black men are so willing to date interracially, while black women aren't.

But the interracial dating disparity is only one part of the problem. The difference in the way black men and black women are portrayed in the entertainment industry is also part of the problem.

And to the guy who says I sound like a victim. I am NOT a victim. Victimes don't work through there problems. I see a problem, and I am overcoming it. And I would love to see black women as a whole overcome this problem. This is not being a victim. This is being EMPOWERED.

I'll continue to date and mate with BLACK men only.

I'm not sure why there are people out there who think they need to tell black women that there are OTHER races of men who are available to date. We know that. If we had an interest in pursuing those men...we'd be dating them with or without statistics. Obviously we'd rather not go there.

Actually, I AM trying to bring black women together. But, the issues that black women face are not the same as what black men face. Black men are on a higher social rung than black women. Black men are in more demand. And one of the reasons for this is because black men are so willing to date interracially, while black women aren't.

But the interracial dating disparity is only one part of the problem. The difference in the way black men and black women are portrayed in the entertainment industry is also part of the problem.

And to the guy who says I sound like a victim. I am NOT a victim. Victimes don't work through there problems. I see a problem, and I am overcoming it. And I would love to see black women as a whole overcome this problem. This is not being a victim. This is being EMPOWERED.

You want to bring black women together at the expense of leaving black men out of the equation. Black women and men can only solve their problems together, not by mixing with other races. There are other black men from other countries that many of the black women you claim are suffering from this disparity are not taking into consideration.

Black women are being portrayed poorly in the entertainment industry because they allow it to happen, and are in fact complicit in their own denegration. No different than a black man selling dope and cries about the man being racist when he throws him in jail.

But you are preaching to the choir here. It would be more productive of you to visit a website that dehumanizes black women and men, you'd be hard pressed to find that behaviour here.

I'm not sure why there are people out there who think they need to tell black women that there are OTHER races of men who are available to date. We know that. If we had an interest in pursuing those men...we'd be dating them with or without statistics. Obviously we'd rather not go there.

Beautifully said by a beautiful woman.

You want to bring black women together at the expense of leaving black men out of the equation.

I leave black men out of the equation because they are on a higher social rung than black women are. And the primary reason for this is because of the dating practices of black MEN.

While the IR dating disparity hurts black women socially, it actually BENEFITS black men. So, it is no surprise that black men are so eager to gloss over this problem and say it is not important.

I'll continue to date and mate with BLACK men only.


Of course that is your choice. But realize that it is that type of mentality that allows them to have so much leverage in relationships. They know that they can do whatever they want, and black women like you will keep coming back for more.

So, by all means, keep putting these men up on a pedastal while cementing your social status at the bottom of the pile.

Black women are being portrayed poorly in the entertainment industry because they allow it to happen, and are in fact complicit in their own denegration.

No, it is because black men like you fail to recognize that black women face different issues than you.

For example, you say black people should unite. Yet when united against the lack of black leading roles in movies, it is resolved by increasing the number of roles for black MEN. And when a black WOMAN comes forward and specifically wants to address issues regarding black WOMEN, black men like you say it is divisive, and black men and women should just be united.

I leave black men out of the equation because they are on a higher social rung than black women are. And the primary reason for this is because of the dating practices of black MEN.

While the IR dating disparity hurts black women socially, it actually BENEFITS black men. So, it is no surprise that black men are so eager to gloss over this problem and say it is not important.

Black men have it harder socially than black women. They are more likely to be pulled over by the cops just because of their race & gender, in addition to being looked down on in Corporate America who tends to favor black women. Indeed, the oversexualization of black men by white America is insulting, not uplifting, and it is NOT helping improve social acceptance of black men.

As far as the numbers of black men... I think there's a shortage period. It has nothing to do with IR, because the overwhelming majority of black men date & marry black women. Now, is it having an effect on how black women are treated? Not really, because all of that relates to the individual person. If you date a player, you shouldn't be too surprised if you get played!

Of course that is your choice. But realize that it is that type of mentality that allows them to have so much leverage in relationships. They know that they can do whatever they want, and black women like you will keep coming back for more.

So, by all means, keep putting these men up on a pedastal while cementing your social status at the bottom of the pile.

Oh please... so now dating black men means you'll be at the bottom of the 'social pile'? You do know that there are good black men who will respect their women regardless of how many others are out there right?

And 'these men' that you are talking about, (if you are black), are still your same race! If you have a son he will grow up to be one of 'them.'

No, it is because black men like you fail to recognize that black women face different issues than you.

For example, you say black people should unite. Yet when united against the lack of black leading roles in movies, it is resolved by increasing the number of roles for black MEN. And when a black WOMAN comes forward and specifically wants to address issues regarding black WOMEN, black men like you say it is divisive, and black men and women should just be united.


what are you talking about black men like me? Black women have tremendous economic power, but for some reason they would rather give it to Pastor Fatback than creating their own institutions. Stop blaming black men for what some black women won't do

Family:

The topic of interracial dating, specifically black women dating interracially (to my knowledge there are no threads here encouraging black men to date outside the race) has been exhausted. There is really nothing left to say on the issue. For new members coming to the site, who wish to speak on this issue. I strongly encourage you to either look up other threads on the subject, or refer to my list of Black Conservative/Interracial Dating sites:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33914

Thank You-PanAfrica!

Oh please... so now dating black men means you'll be at the bottom of the 'social pile'? You do know that there are good black men who will respect their women regardless of how many others are out there right?

And 'these men' that you are talking about, (if you are black), are still your same race! If you have a son he will grow up to be one of 'them.'


It seems that she believes that the small portion of black men who do date outside their race, are responsible for the major problems of black women. Now that is a deep pathology

Family:

The topic of interracial dating, specifically black women dating interracially (to my knowledge there are no threads here encouraging black men to date outside the race) has been exhausted. There is really nothing left to say on the issue. For new members coming to the site, who wish to speak on this issue. I strongly encourage you to either look up other threads on the subject, or refer to my list of Black Conservative/Interracial Dating sites:

http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33914

Thank You-PanAfrica!

panafrica...thank you for pointing this confused and obviously bitter black woman in the correct direction...

one love
khasm

Ha ha ha haaaaaaa........

I just KNEW this thread was gonna get turned out.

That's why I just read it and stayed out.

Black men have it harder socially than black women. They are more likely to be pulled over by the cops just because of their race & gender, in addition to being looked down on in Corporate America who tends to favor black women.

I specifically mentioned social issues, not economic, or political issues. Those are different topics and should be debated seperately. Let's stay focused on the topic of social issues.


Indeed, the oversexualization of black men by white America is insulting, not uplifting, and it is NOT helping improve social acceptance of black men.

Insulting to who? I've never heard a black man complain about these stereotypes. In fact, most seem to try to live up to them.


As far as the numbers of black men... I think there's a shortage period. It has nothing to do with IR

Whille the first part of your statement is true, there is no way you can logically claim that the IR discrepancy doesn't contribute to it.


Now, is it having an effect on how black women are treated? Not really, because all of that relates to the individual person. If you date a player, you shouldn't be too surprised if you get played!

This is where you are wrong. Many black men are "players" because they can. They know that the odds are in there favor, so they don't have to worry about competition. If these odds were changed, there would be fewer "players".

I specifically mentioned social issues, not economic, or political issues. Those are different topics and should be debated seperately. Let's stay focused on the topic of social issues.




Insulting to who? I've never heard a black man complain about these stereotypes. In fact, most seem to try to live up to them.




Whille the first part of your statement is true, there is no way you can logically claim that the IR discrepancy doesn't contribute to it.




This is where you are wrong. Many black men are "players" because they can. They know that the odds are in there favor, so they don't have to worry about competition. If these odds were changed, there would be fewer "players".

I think it is clear that you allow the media to shape your opinions. The vast majority of black men date black women if anything the number of black women who date white men are increasing.Stop coming up with cop outs about not being able to find a good black man and work on your own bad points then maybe you will attract the right black man for you.

Here we go again.Excellent Poem,Ego Tripping!!!!!!!!!

Of course that is your choice. But realize that it is that type of mentality that allows them to have so much leverage in relationships. They know that they can do whatever they want, and black women like you will keep coming back for more.

So, by all means, keep putting these men up on a pedastal while cementing your social status at the bottom of the pile.


LOL! That is non-sense. A relationship is not a battle, so neither of us needs to have leverage over the other.

A black man will be with me because he chooses to, just like I choose to be with him.

Are you sure your name isn't Intuition MD?

LOL! That is non-sense. A relationship is not a battle, so neither of us needs to have leverage over the other.

A black man will be with me because he chooses to, just like I choose to be with him.

Are you sure your name isn't Intuition MD?


"Are you sure your name isn't Intuition MD?" if she's not, then she's doing a great impersonation of her :darts:

Brother Sek, I really like this analysis, this is very thought provoking, when looked outside of normal racial eye...

interracial