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View Full Version : Critique : Mother Poverty


Elise
04-30-2005, 04:20 PM
Mother Poverty

She`s seen babies being born
and babies dying of deadly disease, STDs
She`s heard the footsteps of a runaway
roaming the streets
She`s seen the beating and killing
of a young boy trying to be tough
She`s heard the screaming and yelling
of a wife who`s had enough
She`s felt the pain of a mother
who lost her child to sex and drugs
She`s heard the cry of an orphan
who`s never heard the word love
She`s seen the bruises swell on a woman`s fave
as a man takes out his anger
She`s heard the sudden pounding of a child`s heart
who knows they`re in danger
She`s felt the anxiousness of a man
committing adultry
She`s seen the disfiguring burns on a woman`s face
who was once beautiful and sultry
She`s felt the despair of a wife
who lost her husband to Iraq
She`s felt the hopelessness of a teenage girl
who just found out her assumed pregnancy was fact
She`s seen the lowliness in an addicts eyes
who cannot find the strength to quit
She`s felt the depression of an AIDs patient
after the doctors informed her that she was another statistic
Mother Poverty... what way to live is this?

$$RICH$$
04-30-2005, 05:01 PM
the concept is nice and laid on the line
leaves question why ....nice write poet

1poetsought
04-30-2005, 09:06 PM
This poem makes its point in eloquent fashion. Good job, poet.

Always check your spelling.

Ireadastory
05-04-2005, 02:00 PM
Great write and really heartfelt.

Khasm13
05-10-2005, 01:18 PM
She`s seen the bruises swell on a woman`s fave
as a man takes out his anger
She`s heard the sudden pounding of a child`s heart
who knows they`re in danger
She`s felt the anxiousness of a man
committing adultry
She`s seen the disfiguring burns on a woman`s face
who was once beautiful and sultry


strong words poet....besides some grammatical errors, i would not change a thing...that above stanza hit me the hardest...keep flowing

one love
khasm

$$RICH$$
05-09-2006, 07:04 PM
bringing back a powerful piece

abstract219
06-21-2006, 08:23 PM
im with khasm...dont change a thing...it is a raw, gripping piece.

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