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View Full Version : Critique : Venting


FloReal916
04-20-2005, 01:34 PM
I wrote this piece because this chicken @ the poetry spot was tryna be all in my dudes face tryna persue, when she knew we were working on becoming an item! So I had to flash..poet style, stay tuned for part two!



(Sing) I’m yo girl- you’re my girl- we are girls
Don’t you know that I love you?
Sike!!!!
As a matter of fact lets address the issue of stepping on toes
An opportunity to put you in your place I suppose
You act like you didn’t know that me and ole boy was talking
And when you seen he didn’t pay you no attention your emotions should have got to walkin’
If I was the ghetto type you’d be outlined in chalk
And all that salt you tried to throw in my game
Did nothing but add credibility to my name
Flo- real…got it…when you see us together at the spot
All that rumor- spreading needs to stop
Lets be real…I bet you’d like to know how my shoes feel
Wish you had the talent to appeal to any audience
You wish you could get up right now and represent
(sing) I bet you think this piece is about you…
True- and you’ll never know how good he feels but I do
All caught up over phone calls
Most of your voicemails not returned at all
You even sent the informant by my house
And for a friendly game of cat and mouse I played the game…but obviously
(Sing) You don’t know my name…
SO let me remind you…(sing) Tell me what’s my name? …Flo- Real
Say it so many times until its etched in stone
I’m not just trying to get under your skin but in your bones
cause stepping on toes is behavior I don’t condone
For practice you might consider writing a get back poem
Just to brush up on your style
Cause that imagination of yours that got you thinking you a poet that goes wild- naw it goes stupid
I probably need to put this piece on a CD for you and loop it
Probably in the club writing notes on pieces of a napkin
And if you really was all that- then... why you ain’t got em
Simply because you ain’t me, and I wouldn’t want to be you
And if you get the nerve to respond, we can step outside and see WHAT IT DO!!!!

To be continued......

AHMOSE
04-20-2005, 02:53 PM
GET Back! Home girl.

Thanks for sharing

FloReal916
04-20-2005, 04:25 PM
She don't won't da pain Godsoulja!!! :)

$$RICH$$
04-21-2005, 01:37 AM
very nicely done i like how it was done

1poetsought
04-21-2005, 07:29 PM
(Sing) I’m yo girl- you’re my girl- we are girls
Don’t you know that I love you?
Sike!!!!
As a matter of fact lets address the issue of stepping on toes
An opportunity to put you in your place I suppose
You act like you didn’t know that me and ole boy was talking
And when you seen he didn’t pay you no attention your emotions should have got to walkin’
If I was the ghetto type you’d be outlined in chalk
And all that salt you tried to throw in my game
Did nothing but add credibility to my name
Flo- real…got it…when you see us together at the spot
All that rumor- spreading needs to stop
Lets be real…I bet you’d like to know how my shoes feel
Wish you had the talent to appeal to any audience
You wish you could get up right now and represent
(sing) I bet you think this piece is about you…
True- and you’ll never know how good he feels but I do
All caught up over phone calls
Most of your voicemails not returned at all
You even sent the informant by my house
And for a friendly game of cat and mouse I played the game…but obviously
(Sing) You don’t know my name…
SO let me remind you…(sing) Tell me what’s my name? …Flo- Real
Say it so many times until its etched in stone
I’m not just trying to get under your skin but in your bones
cause stepping on toes is behavior I don’t condone
For practice you might consider writing a get back poem
Just to brush up on your style...


Flo-Real, ('nuff said)
:pie:

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