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View Full Version : Critique : My First drop: Entitled "Why"


AHMOSE
03-31-2005, 01:24 PM
Why

Why is my life a mess
Why can’t I have a taste of success

Why when people see me they tighten up on their purse
Thinking I’m going to rob them or worse

Why when I go into a store I got people following me
I always ask them is their a show going on that I can see

Why do people assume I’m a thug
I do my best to show these people love

Why they got Federal Agents watching me
Watching me! Me! Me!
Networking is beneficial cant you see

Why can’t these people seem to understand
I’m no different from them because I’m a Blackman

Why can’t anyone seem to fill my pain
I’m expressing my feelings even though
I’m hurt, angry and shame

Why is all this happening to me
It’s hard living up to who and what you’ve been called to be

Why me! Why me! Why did God choose me
Obviously God is trying to teach me something what I can’t see

God has a plan for you and for me
Why because of dreams and visions He has for our lives
If we just open our eyes and see
Why because God loves you and me
Why because it’s our destiny!

By Godssoulja

Copyright © MM – MMIV Poetic Ministries

Nisa
03-31-2005, 01:28 PM
Nice drop.For the first time. Are you sure that its your first time? :nightowl:
Anyways it was real real nice..nothing to critique..except it was an excellent job.. Encore Encore..

queentswana
03-31-2005, 02:06 PM
You ask why is your life a mess?
I think, in your life, you've been quite blessed

The reason why some tighten up their purse
they simply refuse to put God first

Here's why no one can fill your pain
you got to learn to call the right name

this is an awesome piece poet, and thanks for allowing me to follow the flow, it was well worth the read, keep flowing your fine work of art.

AHMOSE
03-31-2005, 02:15 PM
Thank you Ladies for the words of imput....

Mit Mit
04-09-2005, 03:41 PM
Godsoulja that was very inspirational for me I always used to ask myself (why?) but not anymore because God came into my life. I truly enjoyed your poem it touch my heart and soul Thanks

$$RICH$$
04-10-2005, 12:46 AM
why ! why ! this so on point
and why this seem to be no joke
why this awesome drop is so tyte
i see now the poetic light
what u did here was outstanding and thumbs up !
don't change a thing it's a smash hit...................

1poetsought
04-10-2005, 11:51 PM
Every time it rains, it rains, pennies from Heaven.

Keep those drops comin' bro.

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