My friend challengd me to write this....Its not my style so bear with me....


Darkness Falls over me
Engulfing my body
Turning it inside out
My organs spill on the floor
Too graphic to describe
I'm commiting suicide inside of my own mind
Only imagining just what it would be like to be in deaths reach
It's as painless as the time i pierced my own tongue
Except i hit a vein
Dark red fluid flows through my mouth
Filling my tub
I baptise myself in my own blood
Pretending it's the blood of Christ
My lungs are filled
Theres no need for air
Oxygen only turns my blue blood red
But i prefer the darker shade
I'm falling...falling...I can feel the breeze on my scalp
I've torn out my hair follicles
I'm so free, I care less if i land on a sharp rock
I just love the feeling of my heart racing
So it can stop beating
As death catches me in its arms....
_________________

this a style seem to fit you well
the concept & structure is great
and it flowed in motion try working
your poetry more this way .

As I read this piece I can feel the ruggedness of the character in the story. Very very engaging piece it makes the reader take hold of the images that you are creating. :bullseye:

As you've shown time and again, style is no impediment when you're Vesatile!