triniti424
03-17-2005, 05:04 PM
Okay famlee see this is one I had written quite a while ago...
I wanted to know what tips yall had to make it more SPOKEN WORD FRIENDLY
:read: something you think I should revise and why
It seems okay on paper but reading is kina tricky
whaddyall think?
********************************************
As Always I Am…Afflicted Again…Armed with Automatic Aspirations that Are slowly
Becoming Burdens of Blight Because, Believing in Bitter Blessings Begets Bodily Bacterial Bite
Causing Catastrophic Character Concussions, I
Demand and Defy Daring Duties in order to Detain this Debilitating Death, in order to
Escape Electrifying Enigmatic Engagements, Eventually Evolving into Erogenous Expendable Entertainment,
Fighting Freedom For False Featherweight Federations that are steadily Fueling Foolish Futile
Generations, who are Giving up God for Guilt-laced Galvanizing Goods
Hoping on Heavenly Help However
Instead, Ignorance Insists and Immature Insistence Intrigues because,
“Justification” is Just Junction 99 off of a Journey called “this lifetime” and
Keeping Kindred in Keen Knowledge is
Learning to Live with Lacerations of Life’s Liberation Lessons and
Making Mind of Mental Masquerades,
Never Nullifying our Natural Name and accolades,
Only to be Openly Oppressed by Obtrusive Opponents
Pretending to be Purifying our Precious People but all the while
Quietly Quelling souls, and holding Query Quarantine to
Rip and Reform Rapidly Radiating
Souls into, Silent Slaves Steady Sinking, Silent Slaves with hearts Steadily Shrinking
Till, There is no Time To Tell the Tales of The Tired Tattered and Terminated
Until…now…Unrestrained Understanding among the United…Upholding our Unyielding
Victories, Vanquishing Villains and Vile Vagabonds, Vindicating the Venomous Void, and all the
While, Willingly Winning the Weary, Wayward and Weak…creating the Worthy WE
Xceeding Xtra Xpectations of the
Yesteryears I Yield my Yearning till the next
Zap of Zeal I feel
but until then…
The End
I wanted to know what tips yall had to make it more SPOKEN WORD FRIENDLY
:read: something you think I should revise and why
It seems okay on paper but reading is kina tricky
whaddyall think?
********************************************
As Always I Am…Afflicted Again…Armed with Automatic Aspirations that Are slowly
Becoming Burdens of Blight Because, Believing in Bitter Blessings Begets Bodily Bacterial Bite
Causing Catastrophic Character Concussions, I
Demand and Defy Daring Duties in order to Detain this Debilitating Death, in order to
Escape Electrifying Enigmatic Engagements, Eventually Evolving into Erogenous Expendable Entertainment,
Fighting Freedom For False Featherweight Federations that are steadily Fueling Foolish Futile
Generations, who are Giving up God for Guilt-laced Galvanizing Goods
Hoping on Heavenly Help However
Instead, Ignorance Insists and Immature Insistence Intrigues because,
“Justification” is Just Junction 99 off of a Journey called “this lifetime” and
Keeping Kindred in Keen Knowledge is
Learning to Live with Lacerations of Life’s Liberation Lessons and
Making Mind of Mental Masquerades,
Never Nullifying our Natural Name and accolades,
Only to be Openly Oppressed by Obtrusive Opponents
Pretending to be Purifying our Precious People but all the while
Quietly Quelling souls, and holding Query Quarantine to
Rip and Reform Rapidly Radiating
Souls into, Silent Slaves Steady Sinking, Silent Slaves with hearts Steadily Shrinking
Till, There is no Time To Tell the Tales of The Tired Tattered and Terminated
Until…now…Unrestrained Understanding among the United…Upholding our Unyielding
Victories, Vanquishing Villains and Vile Vagabonds, Vindicating the Venomous Void, and all the
While, Willingly Winning the Weary, Wayward and Weak…creating the Worthy WE
Xceeding Xtra Xpectations of the
Yesteryears I Yield my Yearning till the next
Zap of Zeal I feel
but until then…
The End