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View Full Version : Critique : My Center


flo-real
03-08-2005, 05:59 PM
MY CENTER…
IF I WAS A GENIUS I COULD NOT INVENT HIM…
HE IS THE KING OF MY CASTLE…
THE FRINGE ON MY TASSEL…
THE MEANS BY WHICH I NAVIGATE LIFE’S HASSLE…
HOLD ME DOWN PA…
EVEN WHEN I DON’T HEAR THE SOUND PA…
OF THE WISDOM YOU TRY TO LAY DOWN PA…
I LOVE YOU AS THE LIFE THAT YOU BREED…
THE BREATH OF FRESH AIR THAT I NEED

MY CENTER…
THOUGHT I WAS ALIVE BEFORE I MET HIM…
BUT HAD NOT BEEN BORN YET THEN GOD SENT HIM…
FLOATING IN THE PLACENTA OF WHAT WAS THE BIRTH OF MY EVOLUTION…
EVEN THOUGHT I UNDERSTOOD REVOLUTION…
TILL I FOUND WHAT I LIVE FOR…
IF ONLY I COULD GIVE MORE…
THEN IT WOULD MATCH WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME

MY CENTER…
YOU GIVE ME BALANCE WHEN I AM OFF…
YOU TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN YOU HEAR A COUGH…
YOU GET ME TO DIG MYSELF I’M WRONG…
I YEARN TO HEAR YOUR SONG…
AS YOU ARE THE ANGEL WITH THE GUIDING LIGHT…
YOU THROW IN A LITTLE PASSION IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT…
AND YOU’RE RIGHT THERE WITH ME IN THE HEAT OF THE FIGHT

MY CENTER…
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I CANT SEE IT…
WHEN IT IS MY TURN FOR THE DIFFERENCE YOU ENCOURAGE ME TO BE IT…
WHEN TROUBLE COMES UP TO LIVE FOR US WE FLEE IT…
WHEN I GET HOME UPSET MY TEMPER YOU HELP ME EASE IT…
YOU SEE IT…
WEAK MINDS DISAGREE IT…
WHEN IT COMES TO BEING WITH THEY CANT BELIEVE IT…

MY CENTER…
WHEN I NEED TO GET IT OFF MY MIND YOU’RE THE VENTER…
WHEN I WISH TO FEEL HEAT YOU ENTER…
DID I SAY I LOVE YOU…
DID I PLACE ANYONE ABOVE YOU…
IF DOVING WAS STRONG EXPRESSION I DOVE YOU…
ANYONE TRY TO TAKE YOU AWAY, IF YOU WANT TO GO I LET YOU, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

MY CENTER…
YOU ARE THE LEFT WHEN I’M RIGHT…
YOU FEEL MY BODY IF IT’S LOOSE OR TIGHT…
IF I HAVE TO CRY FOR WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU, YOUR RIGHT…
YOUR FRUIT IS BOUNTIFUL I CAN ONLY BITE…
YOU ARE THE SCIENCE OF MY CURRICULUM…
YOU ARE THE PIT UNDER MY PENDULUM…
AND IF PEANUT BUTTER NEEDS JELLY ON THE BREAD…
I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE THAT’S ONE FOR THE HEAD

MY CENTER…
I LOVE AND NEED YOU …
IF I COULD GET MORE OF YOU THEN I GREED YOU…
IF I COULD PLANT MYSELF IN YOU THEN I SEED YOU…
SONS AND DAUGHTERS ARE WHAT WE CAN HAVE…
AND I’M GLAD THAT I HAD THE CHANCE TO GET WITH YOU AND BE BAD…
AND YOU KNOW WHAT …
IF SOMEONE MAKES YOU UNHAPPY IT MAKES ME MAD…

MY CENTER…

1poetsought
03-09-2005, 04:00 AM
At my core…

If I were a genius I could not reinvent HIM
HE is the king of my castle don't you know
The fringe of my tassel ~
The means by which I navigate

HOLD ME DOWN PA…

Even when I don't hear a sound from YOU
Of the wisdom that YOU lay down
I love the ground YOU walk on
The air that YOU breathe
The things up YOUR sleeve

At my core…
I wasn't alive before meeting HIM
Yet to be born
Floating in the placenta of what was to be
My evolution understood revolution
What HE's meant to me

At my core…
YOU are my equilibrium gong
Checking me when I am wrong
I learned to yearn to hear YOUR song
YOU being my angel with a guiding light
My passion in the middle of the night
And right in the heat of the fight!

At my core…
I love me some YOU
My right hand man
My jelly and jam
My BABY grand

Yes, at my core...

I adore YOU

1poetsought
03-09-2005, 04:08 AM
Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. :ilu:

SwtT
03-09-2005, 09:31 AM
I can't even critque this. It's too hot to be touched. Seriously,. I am feeling this poem.

flo-real
03-09-2005, 11:32 AM
thank you so much for the luv!!

Khasm13
03-09-2005, 12:32 PM
word...welcome to the critique forum flo-real...
i see you came over here with both guns blastin....good ish
this poem was a great example of balancing forces in our life
i started off thinking you were talking about concept
then as i got further into the poem...i started thinking that
you were talking about a person...either way
the concept was digested and it tasted pretty dern good...lol
keep dropin them poet...

one love
khasm

$$RICH$$
07-28-2005, 01:27 AM
very nice mindful trip

dymondtanae
08-10-2005, 08:55 PM
:hot:
that's all that needs to be sad

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