What do you do with a man that never wants to go anywhere or has already done eveything? I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 33. They say that age doesn't make a difference, but listen to this..My problem is that my man never wants to go out and have fun. When I say lets go out to eat, he'll go to whatever restaurant of my choice and bring the food home. When I say lets go to the movies, he goes and buy the DVD's. It's to the point, that even when we go to Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc; he sits in the car. He tells me that he's done with the "publicity stunts" and prefers my company at home. On the other hand, when the fellas want to go out, they don't have to ask him twice. If I say something about going out, he acts like I've committed a felony and catches a nasty attitude. Although I'm 24, I look very young and he looks every bit of his 33 years. Do you think that he may be embarassed because I look like a child, has something to hide, or a combination of both? Help, I'm bored and don't know what to do.

not by far are the age different a major here and there is so much more
his young 33 need to see yet on the other hand in such relationship i
can't see him shying away due the the young face but what i've seen is
some men who act this way are hiding something or may feel he don't
want to be seen with you outside the home .

Have you talked to him about this and communicate on the issue
to see how he react , if he so fast to run the street with friends then
there is a problem in the relationship your not aware of or see !

there are men who don't shop and home bound but to not go anywhere
with his mate is foul play signs of many likes of cheating / a lie told
or he just don't care these are things you have to seek out why!
spice up the relationship .......the answer is in the house ask him !

What do you do with a man that never wants to go anywhere or has already done eveything? I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 33. They say that age doesn't make a difference, but listen to this..My problem is that my man never wants to go out and have fun. When I say lets go out to eat, he'll go to whatever restaurant of my choice and bring the food home. When I say lets go to the movies, he goes and buy the DVD's. It's to the point, that even when we go to Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc; he sits in the car. He tells me that he's done with the "publicity stunts" and prefers my company at home. On the other hand, when the fellas want to go out, they don't have to ask him twice. If I say something about going out, he acts like I've committed a felony and catches a nasty attitude. Although I'm 24, I look very young and he looks every bit of his 33 years. Do you think that he may be embarassed because I look like a child, has something to hide, or a combination of both? Help, I'm bored and don't know what to do.

sista..to ME.. u should tell him each and everything u wrote in this post.. its laid out plain and simple... again..i am a big advocate on COMMUNICATION..
my big question here is .. was your man this way when u met him?? age does make a difference to a "degree" it really all boils down to the individual really..

somethings that struck me as a red flag and left me highly suspicious ..was that it being difficult for him to do even simple things with u and he catches attitude from just asking to go out???..going out with u equates to "publicity stunts"as he calls it lol but when his friends want to do something theres not asking twice and its cool.. no sis that wouldn't settle well with me and we would def. have to sit down there is obviously something wrong right there... we can all speculate but only he can tell u what the deal really is..

if the both of u really want to be together and have fulfillmentand understanding on both ends verbalize just that (BOTH)and sit down and talk sis....and come to a medium-- both have to be willing.. if not why waste eachothers time.. move on and find someone more compatible.. life is too short..ans sista's please pat attention to warning signs/red flags.. don't let things linger...

if the both of u really want to be together and have fulfillmentand understanding on both ends verbalize just that (BOTH)and sit down and talk sis....and come to a medium-- both have to be willing.. if not why waste eachothers time.. move on and find someone more compatible.. life is too short..ans sista's please pat attention to warning signs/red flags.. don't let things linger...

This is absolutely true, and it is the same advice I would give for this situation.

What do you do with a man that never wants to go anywhere or has already done eveything? I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 33. They say that age doesn't make a difference, but listen to this..My problem is that my man never wants to go out and have fun. When I say lets go out to eat, he'll go to whatever restaurant of my choice and bring the food home. When I say lets go to the movies, he goes and buy the DVD's. It's to the point, that even when we go to Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc; he sits in the car. He tells me that he's done with the "publicity stunts" and prefers my company at home. On the other hand, when the fellas want to go out, they don't have to ask him twice. If I say something about going out, he acts like I've committed a felony and catches a nasty attitude. Although I'm 24, I look very young and he looks every bit of his 33 years. Do you think that he may be embarassed because I look like a child, has something to hide, or a combination of both? Help, I'm bored and don't know what to do.




To me, it seems like he's either hiding something from you or he's embarrassed to be seen with you. Do you keep yourself well groomed?. That may be a factor. If you are heavy set that may be another factor. It's sad but true- looks DO play a role in things. I doubt that your situation has anything to do with your age difference. Have you brought this subject up to him?

To answer your question..I keep myself well groomed. I get my hair and nails done every week. I dress in the latest fashions, so I absolutely know that this is not the problem. My size doesn't play a factor either because, I'm 5'2 (small-medium frame). He hasn't brought the age up as a factor, but the things that I want to go and do (movies, dine out, travel), he always says that he's done that 10 years ago; which would put him at age 23 (around the age I am now). I keep expressing my wants, but they just go in one ear and out the other, so enventually, before I cheat, I think I will just leave the relationship. Thanks.

What do you do with a man that never wants to go anywhere or has already done eveything? I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 33. They say that age doesn't make a difference, but listen to this..My problem is that my man never wants to go out and have fun. When I say lets go out to eat, he'll go to whatever restaurant of my choice and bring the food home. When I say lets go to the movies, he goes and buy the DVD's. It's to the point, that even when we go to Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc; he sits in the car. He tells me that he's done with the "publicity stunts" and prefers my company at home. On the other hand, when the fellas want to go out, they don't have to ask him twice. If I say something about going out, he acts like I've committed a felony and catches a nasty attitude. Although I'm 24, I look very young and he looks every bit of his 33 years. Do you think that he may be embarassed because I look like a child, has something to hide, or a combination of both? Help, I'm bored and don't know what to do.

It sounds like a playa trying to play to me. Or, it's the older dominant man thing (hence, age difference) coming into play.

Nevertheless, it's important that you follow the correct procedure in dealing with such situations. And that is, listen to Soulfulmixx. Follow her suggestions. Before you just up and leave the man, ask of him what you really want to know. That way, you will not have any doubts in your mind as to whether or not you did the right thing by ending the relationship.

peace

He hasn't brought the age up as a factor, but the things that I want to go and do (movies, dine out, travel), he always says that he's done that 10 years ago

Question, do you ever offer to pay when you go out, or does he pick up each and every bill? Movies aren't expensive, but dining out and traveling can be if your partner is not willing to dig in her purse once in a while. Maybe that's why he wants to chill at home, because he wants to save his money for something more important.

If that's not the problem then I'd agree with what everyone else said. Maybe you need to find someone that's not boring. Some people would rather stay at home, but to do it excessively is a problem. Maybe he's depressed.

brings up a good point. He could be trying to do something special for you...and not going out is a good way of saving up the money to do so. We all tend to do things like that every now and again without letting the other person know. So, talk to him first. You may not know what he has in store for you. :D

peace

brings up a good point. He could be trying to do something special for you...and not going out is a good way of saving up the money to do so. We all tend to do things like that every now and again without letting the other person know. So, talk to him first. You may not know what he has in store for you. :D

peace

Yeah, that too, but what I'm trying to get at is that maybe he's tired of being the only one shelling out money just to entertain her. If I'm in a relationship and she can't treat me sometimes when we go out......then we're not going out that often. Especially if she's the type that always wants to do something. I've noticed that the women that bore easily are the ones that never pay for anything. I mean, of course a person is going to always want to go out on the town if they never pay for anything. If they had to actually contribute they'd be more willing to have a nice dinner and movie night at home.

^5 kente...you have a valid point...right now all we can do is assume because the original poster has only give'n her side of the story and even her side is incomplete...we do not even know how long they have been dating...

one love
khasm

Yeah, that too, but what I'm trying to get at is that maybe he's tired of being the only one shelling out money just to entertain her. If I'm in a relationship and she can't treat me sometimes when we go out......then we're not going out that often. Especially if she's the type that always wants to do something. I've noticed that the women that bore easily are the ones that never pay for anything. I mean, of course a person is going to always want to go out on the town if they never pay for anything. If they had to actually contribute they'd be more willing to have a nice dinner and movie night at home.

Good point...very good point. HOWEVER...:D...most men don't mind paying when they go out as long as they have the funds to do so. I don't. It's when I don't have the funds for this and that when she knows darn well that we're trying to do something else that is planned. That irritates me. I'd leave a woman like that if she doesn't change her ways.

we do not even know how long they have been dating...


Good point. Some men do get that feeling that they're being used if a woman expects him to pay and wants to go out all the time. You've got a good point there, bruh. But, in that case, I'd ask her to shell out just to see what she'd say. If she declines, she has to go. If she says yes, then I'd pay anyway...after she shells out a few times to keep her honest. :D

What do you do with a man that never wants to go anywhere or has already done eveything? I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 33. They say that age doesn't make a difference, but listen to this..My problem is that my man never wants to go out and have fun. When I say lets go out to eat, he'll go to whatever restaurant of my choice and bring the food home. When I say lets go to the movies, he goes and buy the DVD's. It's to the point, that even when we go to Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc; he sits in the car. He tells me that he's done with the "publicity stunts" and prefers my company at home. On the other hand, when the fellas want to go out, they don't have to ask him twice. If I say something about going out, he acts like I've committed a felony and catches a nasty attitude. Although I'm 24, I look very young and he looks every bit of his 33 years. Do you think that he may be embarassed because I look like a child, has something to hide, or a combination of both? Help, I'm bored and don't know what to do.



Sweetheart sounds like your man has maybe one of several things going on. First if he unwilling to romance you or even go into stores with you he's either cheap and afraid you'll ask him to buy you something or he has other women and doesn't want to blow his cover by being seen by someone he's seeing on the side or someone who knows the other person he's seeing. Either way he is not taking you serious and doesn't respect your needs. At 33 years old he knows how to romance a women. The thing that should raise your suspicion is how he is ready to hit the streets when his boys come calling. I'm no expert sweetheart but it sounds like it's time to move forward without him.


Peace & Love lil sis

Radical Faith

No money is not a factor. I pull my weight and he pulls his. We communicate on this subject all the time. He usually tells me that he's done lived the life that I'm trying to live, so what am I to do?


Move on sweetheart. As much as it hurts it is best. I'll be 38 this year and I can tell you romancing your woman never gets old. These are things that men must do to please his woman. You simply want to share good times and fun experiences him and he is rejecting you. In relationships there is compromise. Sometime men must do things they'd rather not but because of his love for his woman he not only will do them but enjoy them because he sees how much his woman is enjoying herself. Rarely in a relationship is there a 50/50 mutual sharing situation but both people together equal 100%. Express without begging how you would real like to share fun experiences with him. If he is still hesitant then maybe his level of committment is not strong enough to hold the relationship together. Think it about it sweetie.


Peace & Love lil sis

Radical Faith

well said RF.....i agree at age 33 there are so much more he haven't seen
or done yet truely this guy is hiding something and playing you sistas to
perfection move on it's time even if it hurt right now u will heal and mend
to a new found love that respect your needs and wishies don't cheat it's not
the answer just trouble move forward but trust in your self it's the right thing to do
many have given very good sound advice ......I wish u well and good luck !!!!

Honestly, I think that everyone on here is giving you really great advice. You really need to let your feeiling be known because he can't fault you for being the age that you are and wanting to exprience things no more than you can blame him for being the age that he is. Here's my two cents, My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 1/2 years and he is 10 years older I'm 23 and he's 33. We have a wonderful relationship and I believe that honesty and compromise really helped us out in this department We are both homebodies but I like to go out more than he does. It sounds like your man is probably using that old "been there, done that" attitude as a cop-out because since he has you he doesn't feel like he still needs to do the things that he did in the beginning. Ask him about and if need be call him out because although the age difference can present issues don't let him hide behind it. Dang you just wanted him to go to Walmart!

Yes, just Wal-Mart. I don't know what the problem is, but I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself. I'm going to try one more time and if I don't get the response that I want, then I have to move on. We have been together going on 3 yrs. I was really tied up in school and work full-time, but now I want to live my life to the fullest, but being with him is dull.

Girl I think your're right. A relationship that doesn't go anywhere is dead. It sounds like you've just accomplished alot and now when you can breathe easy and start having fun he's being a Dr. KillJoy instead of the fun companion you need right now. Do you think that maybe he is feeling insecure ?

Maybe. When I say anything about just going out on my own, he tends to shut me out. Then silly me will keep asking him what wrong, trying to come to some sort of compromise and end up staying home because he is uncomfortable. But I wonder why it is so easy for him to just get up and go with his friends? I met this guy at work and it is a relief to be able to talk about the same ambitions and goals; and also we take interest in alot of the same things. I just wish I could get this with my boyfriend, He is not a bad guy, I'm just bored to death.

sista move on and let go the bored life u hold and another laying on u
get out have fun u live once , if you worry about what he think and not go
u will lock yourself out a good thing sound like he want you down and out
as he fulfill his life and have fun his way did you know it's a two way street
take heed from the replies above and move forward most of all you bored
your self with this inflicted problem when the answer is aboard inside u....

What do you do with a man that never wants to go anywhere or has already done eveything? I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 33. They say that age doesn't make a difference, but listen to this..My problem is that my man never wants to go out and have fun. When I say lets go out to eat, he'll go to whatever restaurant of my choice and bring the food home. When I say lets go to the movies, he goes and buy the DVD's. It's to the point, that even when we go to Wal-Mart, Walgreens, etc; he sits in the car. He tells me that he's done with the "publicity stunts" and prefers my company at home. On the other hand, when the fellas want to go out, they don't have to ask him twice. If I say something about going out, he acts like I've committed a felony and catches a nasty attitude. Although I'm 24, I look very young and he looks every bit of his 33 years. Do you think that he may be embarassed because I look like a child, has something to hide, or a combination of both? Help, I'm bored and don't know what to do.

I hope this doesn't sound offensive to you, but saying he's done with publicity stunts is just downright stupid. You're his girlfriend, not a publicity stunt. He should be happy to have you on his arm.

It would be one thing if he just didn't want to go out because of finances. I've had this issue with my husband since we got married, though we have a new baby too, so going out isn't as easy as it used to be. However, for you it seems to be he doesn't have a problem going out, just with you.

I think you should move on and find someone else. You are too young to be wasting your time on a relationship like this where you are clearly not valued, at least not how women should be valued in a normal bf/gf situation.