hello you
irresistible
but untouchable
how can it be
irresistible
but untouchable
is this good for me? no bad? or both
do I know do I care
do you know do you care
i wonder
am wondering
what does he think.. how does he feel
wanna ask. wanna know.. wanna show .but cant
how dare I
why do I
irrational, illogical, irresistible

you

in my head
wont go away
wanna call.. wanna play
how can i fix my lips to say
shhhh
dont
hush your mouth
close your eyes
kissed my lips
opened my eyes
in my dream
you gave in...
irrational, illogical
me
irresistible

you

my mentor
my friend..
must end

The Who, The What, The When, The Where
The Whys
The Wise
The You
tall
handsome
articulate
intelligent
understanding
compassionate
perceptive
you wanna listen
but never talk
never say
unspoken gestures
leave my brain
wondering..wandering
if.when.where.how.why
Wise..Why..You
irrational, illogical, irresistible

My Rationale
make myself fix it
how
can i fix it
do i want to
i wanna know
am i crazy?
deranged?
Jimmy Walker?

mentor.. friend
u can help
no u make it worse
U GOTTA GO
'NUF SAID

welcome to destee sepiatea...interesting name and first poem...i hope to see more poems from you in the future...now, let's get down to business...

ok... in the first couple of lines you confused me....i'm thinking that you are talking about a person but in the forth line you say....

how can it be

i'm thinking that how can he be would fit better in that instance...the story that you weave in this poem is leaves the reader wondering what exactly is going on with this mystery person and youself...this is good, i enjoyed thinking...what type of situation is this with this mentor dude...lol
now...the rhymes of the poetry were sometimes good and sometimes they off...here is an example of the latter...

my mentor
my friend..
must end

The Who, The What, The When, The Where

you should switch the when with the where in this instance...it's rhymes better...also since Irrational, Illogical, Irresistible is your title...every time you say this combination of words, they should be together like that.

other then that, this poem flowed very smoothly and was easy for the reader to read. maybe you can tell us how this mentor thing ended in your next poem ;)...let's get our growth on!

one love
khasm

I find that this poem equates to what for me, is a totally positive experience. The poet takes the reader on a wild adventure of sound reasoning, logically coming to the foregone poetic conclusion of the piece (or, is that "peace"...).

nuff said ~ :bully:

Thank you both for taking the time to read.. I am going to Khasm, I am going to make the changes you suggested, because I wanted to perfect it. Althought the rhymes were off at times, I totally agree, but I couldn't figure another way to express the statements.
You ask:
what type of situation is this with this mentor dude...lol
Harmless flirting grew into an actual relationship, which can never be taken to that next level because both are attached, and at this point to end the relationship means to end the friend & mentorship, which is hard b/c he is truly my friend first.
I choose the name Sepiatea b/c Sepia is a beautiful hue of brown that has many tonal ranges, all of which are beautiful.. Just like black people. Tea is a warm relaxing drink as I.. am a warm and relaxing person to talk to ;)
I'm glad yall can feel me. First of many more to come..

Tee

Nice poem...enjoyed it.

However, from this peace, I get a woman attracted to a man who is her mentor. This attraction only exists in her head. He doesn't know how she feels about him. So, the poem becomes her mentally grappling with the fact that she has feelings for her mentor, what these feelings mean, whether they are good or bad, and how to deal with them. It's all seen from her mind's eye...in her head. I can't tell if there exists a relationship between the two of them or not. Since it's not explicitly mentioned, I assume not. So, to me, she's dealing with her attraction to him in her mind.

:)

Hi sepia :) :wave: Love the name and its true...sepia does have a beautiful range of hues much like our people :)

alrighty than... :read:

I did enjoy the read, it gave of the feel of a stream of consiousness type write. Straight from your consiousness and onto paper.
As I read it you came to form
and it was like watching you watch yourself and this "mentor/friend"
there was a sense of desperation and confusion amidst the lines
though it wasnt quite defined for me it was there
I could see you evaluating and pondering over your own situation
and then...
there was a feel of frustration and then the end. :read:

now...

Irrational, Illogical, Irresistible

I like the title it speaks to the centralized theme of your piece

is this good for me? no bad? or both
"no bad" kinda confused me...I wasnt sure if you were going for a "slang" type spin ie..."my bad" or something of that sort :read: and if you were you could incorporate that in the rest of the piece to show uniformity

Then there are parts in the piece where you seem to be quietly reflecting and then thinking outloud, if you want you could use text changes....
ie...

"you

in my head
wont go away
wanna call.. wanna play
how can i fix my lips to say
shhhh, dont
hush your mouth
close your eyes"

but then again I am not sure that is what you are going for :read:

But in due time poet i hope you find what you desire for "poetic perfection" :) :wave:

very nice and had depth this poem hits good
nice job poet