As a Black man, what is your greatest fear and how do you deal with it?

Queenie :spinstar:

The only things I'm afraid of are:

-being buried alive
-something happening to my mother or brother
-dying before my mother or after my brother

That's it.

I deal with it by praying for my mother and brother everyday. That's all you can do. As far as being a black man goes, I'm not afraid of anything that has to do with that.

My Blessed Sister Queenie, surely with these question you are stirring and staring deep into the soul of a Black man. If anyone has the right surely, you do (Black woman).

But, pray tell, why do you ask such.

Peace and Love,

Brother Sun Ship

i fear that black people will never "get it".
my hope has been that i live to see another time like the sixties before i die.

i'm afraid that won't happen.

As a Black Man, I have many fears:

I fear that:

When I die, everything that I worked hard for will never pay off.

My family will not be so safe as long as White America hold every inch of power in this country.

Black folks will only continue killing eachother until there are not enough of us left.

Once day, when I become as prestigious as they come, soemone will step to my door and threaten my life, my family's life, and the people around me.

Sometimes I fear that when I get to Heaven, God has a surprise for me for all of the sins that were not washed away from me.

Not anyone will pick up where I left off when I pass on.

If I do not play my part in the struggle for Black power, black folks will never reach the top.

Our communities will be destroyed along with us if we continue to allow poison in them.

By the end of this decade, almost every prison will be crowded of innocent Young Black Men.

Not many people will step up and end the degradation of the sistahs.

That's all for now. However, I will count on God to be with us everyday until then end, and I will have FAITH in God to believe that this will never happen.

Cedric Denson

I fear giving birth to children I do not want.

The remedy, cutting off women I do not like and abstaining.

I fear giving birth to children I do not want.

The remedy, cutting off women I do not like and abstaining.

I that is your fear, you are taking the right preventative steps.

It is not really a fear but a concern. It is my biggest concern, It is hard for me to say I fear anything but I am highly concerned about creating unwanted children.

I understand brother Man, I can't say I fear anything either. My biggest concern as a man, is being able to provide for my family as I want to (as well as being able to leave them well off, when I am gone). My biggest concern as a black man, is improving the social-economic status of the African community worldwide.

Amen to that.

My fear is possibly having to one day pass a stone. I hear it's like giving birth for a man. I try to drink alot of water and no soda.

My fear is possibly having to one day pass a stone. I hear it's like giving birth for a man. I try to drink alot of water and no soda.
it ain't so bad once you get over the shock. :eek:

it ain't so bad once you get over the shock. :eek:

No way man. I hope I never have to go through that. Don't tell me you have?

:insane:

as a black man i fear not !
any humanize being,
but worry about my children being safe and after my living they be povided
for , and how & what i leave behind affect them.
I worry about the unity of black people coming together something we
struggle so hard to do still today , i worry about my living on earth as a man
in the hardship of life
I don't fear evil, i challenge it, but worry about how evil has killed us faster
then anything on earth the black on black crimes

My Blessed Sister Queenie, surely with these question you are stirring and staring deep into the soul of a Black man. If anyone has the right surely, you do (Black woman).

But, pray tell, why do you ask such.

Peace and Love,

Brother Sun Ship

Brother Sun Ship....your question gave me reason to pause to think of how to answer it. My reason for asking the question of my brothers didn't come from any premeditated thoughts, I can assure you. It was something that struck me suddenly after reading many of the comments made by brothers in various threads. Very often brothers here show a side of themselves that is strong and exudes power, self-awareness, discipline and courage. Brothers demonstrate their intelligence along with their sense of who they are in the world and how they face the many challenges they confront throughout the day. Brothers seem to be full of self-assurance and they don't quiver or whimper when dealing with issues around their manhood, as friends, husbands, fathers, etc. Brothers here very often show us their versatility, their clear sense as to what they like and don't like about women and many confess their devout love and devotion to Black women. You all aren't afraid to show us your "romantic" side and tell us what you're willing and capable of doing to romance a woman. You even have revealed your weaknesses when it comes to women and have no qualms about taking responsibility for things you do with women. You share your spiritual beliefs and definitely aren't afraid to engage in a good debate about such. Black men have shown their ability to apologize when there's a need to. Brothers have this wonderful way of "bonding" with each other and paying respect when you agree or even disagree with an opinion. All these things you easily reveal. But truth be told, anyone in their right mind knows that it must be a struggle for Black men everyday to stay focused, continue to move forward, not get discouraged and stop and just make it through a day. Knowing full well how you're often the target and made the excuse for so many ills in our society, the question came to me and I really wanted to know the "realness" of the men that I voluntarily claim and see myself emotionally and spiritually attached to. I don't imagine that you see "boogie men" in the dark when you go to bed at night, but when you're alone, or lying awake in bed at night, or when your mind drifts off in the middle of a meeting or maybe a conversation....what crosses your mind? What does it feel like to have someone depend on you so much or expect so much of you? How easy is it to deliver what you think you're expected to or should deliver? What is your greatest fear as a Black man?

Hopefully this made sense and helps you to better understand where I'm coming from and why. I sure hope that my sisters are reading what is being written and are enlightened and warmed by it. I know, so far, I have been and I know there's more that our men want to share because I believe this is going to get deeper as we go along.

Queenie :spinstar: :heart:

No way man. I hope I never have to go through that. Don't tell me you have?

:insane:
yes, i have.
i never speak of anything that i have not personally been through.

it is a very sharp pain as if some one is sticking you in the gut with a pin.
i learned that the body has nerves and therefore pain, in places that you would never imagine.
as soon as it pops out, you feel better.
if it happened again, i would down a six pack of beer and get so drunk i wouldn't care.

This is very nice of you Queen. I'm not used to this sort of thing ( a woman asking about ME and what I'm thinking about).

I feel the same way about unwanted kids as another guy on here said. That's why I don't go around just sleeping with any ol' woman. I'd like to have a wife and kids someday, so as for what I think about at night I sometimes think about that. Though lately I feel that that's impossible, there are some fears I would have if I were married. I would be afraid to die before my kids were old enough to take care of themselves. I'd be afraid of leaving my wife alone to raise the kids by herself. I'd be afraid for my children, because people are so cruel to children nowadays.

To be honest, I'm afraid I'll never experience marriage and/or fatherhood.

I'm afraid of dying before my mother does. I think I said that earlier but I think about that a lot. It would break her. Not break her heart but break HER.

That's why I try to take care of myself and stay out of trouble; for her sake.

There are other days I'm afraid of this life and want to move on. Take that however you please.

Anyway, thanks for the interest in us and what we think. Like I said, I don't get asked questions like this often by women.

As I read the title of this thread, I asked myself, “What would it profit a man to reveal any of his weaknesses on the Internet”. I don’t know if most brothers could or should release substantive revelations about the deepest regions of their souls for the world to scrutinize via the web, but still, I think your question is sincere and full of merit.

Most of the responses I have read so forth seem full of honesty, as my Brothers reflect on some of their fears and battles. A few of the response deal with something that has become almost a proverb, basically this, “a Black man yearns to prepare his sons (and family) for his own death”. Though this reflection of proverbial insight may in some way apply to the male species (man) in general, I think it takes on an special urgency and super-realness to Black men, like no others.

Death has always seemed imminent, in the social order of Black maleness; we are never given much of chance for survival (from the cradle to eldership) and always know we are statistical a step away from death and we are constantly seeing life-altering dangers no statistic can quantify.

It was once said, “if social security payments never received by Black men who died before 65, were rewarded our community; we wouldn’t need to receive reparations. I don’t know how true this is, but I can easily relate to it’s reasoning.

I will like to add something to this interesting thread of exposures, dealing with the fears of Black men. One is, It could be easy for me to fear that which I see and experience in my community daily the apathy, disease, dysgenics, confusion, ignorance, genocidal socialization (in real time) and the complete annihilation of cultural and spiritual continuity, but the greater fear is that from the cultural elite and intellectuals down to the grassroots Afro-centrist and political activist, there has developed a culture of denial, misdirected optimism and rhetorical radicalism that may be expediting the last days of a mighty people.


My second fear is based on quoting something you posted, Blessed Sister Queenie,

“ But truth be told, anyone in their right mind knows that it must be a struggle for Black men everyday to stay focused, continue to move forward, not get discouraged and stop and just make it through a day. Knowing full well how you're often the target and made the excuse for so many ills in our society…”

My fear is, most Black women have refused to embrace the depth of this statement and never will.

Now I would like to turn this discussion back to my brothers in the struggle.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

... there has developed a culture of denial, misdirected optimism and rhetorical radicalism that may be expediting the last days of a mighty people ...

Brother Sun Ship ... the words you shared above prompted me to start an entire new thread to discuss it. You can find it here ... Misdirected Optimism (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30024) ... as i don't want to get in the way of the topic already being discussed here. If you don't mind, please read and respond to it for me.

Thank you Sister Queenie for always being sensitive to the needs of our Sisters and Brothers. A special thanks to all the Brothers who have responded, it only helps us understand you all the more better. It is an honor.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee

:thinking: Brother Sun Ship you raised a very good point about whether Black men should reveal this much of themselves on the internet. It's amazing how sometimes I forget that it's through this medium that I am having these discussions and not on a more "personal" level. It's a shame that we have to be so cautious but it's smart of us when we don't forget that it may be necessary. On that note, I will then suggest to anyone that wants to respond to keep Brother Sun Ships comment in mind and share only what you feel comfortable in sharing. Just based on what I've read so far alone, I've been inspired, enlightened and filled with compassion. I thank each of you who have and will reply to this thread.

Peace Queenie :heart:

Brother Sun Ship ... the words you shared above prompted me to start an entire new thread to discuss it. You can find it here ... Misdirected Optimism (http://destee.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30024) ... as i don't want to get in the way of the topic already being discussed here. If you don't mind, please read and respond to it for me.

Thank you Sister Queenie for always being sensitive to the needs of our Sisters and Brothers. A special thanks to all the Brothers who have responded, it only helps us understand you all the more better. It is an honor.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee

I thank you Sister Des for providing us with a place to come and have these types of discussions. It's a pleasure for me to contribute!

Queenie :heart:

I have no fear. I have faith. Those things that I can control, I control them to the best of my ability. Those things I can't control I leave to God and accept His answers. I've learned to pray.


Peace

Radical Faith

My only real fear is looking like a fool when I get around a girl I am attracted to since my social skills are lacking and people got all these stereotypes of, and expectations on, black men when it comes to relationships and people have been harsh in the past.

There is no point fearing anything else....I just deal with it as it comes....the more opposition I face from society the more I push to make it so I can tell them all to kiss my ***** in the end and get over one time.

What I am trying to avoid is being more than a statistic. These days white America tries to imply that I can not learn, keep a job, be a farther, etc. I am not trying to be a great man, just a man!

These days white America tries to imply that I can not learn, keep a job, be a farther, etc. I am not trying to be a great man, just a man!

The statistics of white America won't even let us become men at all...I wouldn't put to much thought into the stats of them. I am a married, employed, college educated black man with a child (who I provide for & live with), yet I have never added to any of these list. Neither have any other brothers who I know that fall under these "positive categories (and I know a lot of brothers who are living right)....to say these statistics are flawed is an understatement. Be the best man possible for your family...for your self...not to prove the white man wrong.

Very Good question. What is fear? Fear according to Funk & Wagnalls Dictionary of the English Language,...Fear:An emotion excited by Threatening evil or impending pain,accompanied by a desire to avoid or escape it. Harriet Tubman had to shoot and kill her own brother because he became "fearful" and wanted to turn back to "Slavery". She told him,"No you don't *****,you com dis fa an you goin all de way or I'll kill you, you ain't gon go back an let yo massa beat the truth out you and you tells him wars wea goin,..he (Her Brother) started to run and Harriet (Mother of the Underground Rail-Road to Freedom) took out her 45 and shot him dead. In some African tribes a pratice that still goes on to this day, for a young boy becoming of age, to prove his "Man-Hood" he has to go out alone in the jungle to "Kill" a Lion. Here in America the ex-slaves don't have any such ancient rituals of any kind to teach our young men,it is a "hit or miss" life style. "In a true man,(Man means Mind) there is no room (Or Place) for fear", except for G-d alone. "Behold the only thing that is greater than your self". Brothers and Sisters

Sincerely

Moorfius....welcome and thank you for the history lesson. I'm looking forward to reading more of your discussion comments.

Queenie :spinstar:

that is so true moorfius well said and thankz for the reality check to the mental mind

i fear that black people will never "get it".
my hope has been that i live to see another time like the sixties before i die.

i'm afraid that won't happen.

James... I have the same fear....

I am like.. what.. do we.. have.. to do.. to GET BACK ON TRACK. :oops:

As a Black Man, I have many fears:

I fear that:

When I die, everything that I worked hard for will never pay off.

My family will not be so safe as long as White America hold every inch of power in this country.

Black folks will only continue killing eachother until there are not enough of us left.

Once day, when I become as prestigious as they come, soemone will step to my door and threaten my life, my family's life, and the people around me.

Sometimes I fear that when I get to Heaven, God has a surprise for me for all of the sins that were not washed away from me.

Not anyone will pick up where I left off when I pass on.

If I do not play my part in the struggle for Black power, black folks will never reach the top.

Our communities will be destroyed along with us if we continue to allow poison in them.

By the end of this decade, almost every prison will be crowded of innocent Young Black Men.

Not many people will step up and end the degradation of the sistahs.

That's all for now. However, I will count on God to be with us everyday until then end, and I will have FAITH in God to believe that this will never happen.

Cedric Denson

That's deep, and it makes sense.

My biggest fear is not 2 be able to nurture my offspring, physically or monetarily.

I have heard so many women speak ill of their fathers cuz they weren't around when they were children & many people say that a lot of women have problems in their relationships because of that void left by the absence of their fathers.

My fear is that I will not be able to make it
On my own but I have that I will survive
No matter what the conditions are for real