Would you ever try to choose what your child should do in life? Things like where they should go to college, what they should major in and ultimately what sort of career they should choose?

Or
Do you simply make suggestions and hope they listen?

Yes I would and I have my reasons for this. I will choose the school because it's my $$$ and im not paying for school if you don't know what you want to do. I think the asians have a good point when they do this for their children and how many of us wish we did listen to our parents about where we went to school and what we choose to study? It's mu opinion but it's real one.

I would let the kid do what they want, I would rather the child find their own destiny, than for me to dictate a false one.

I would let the kid do what they want, I would rather the child find their own destiny, than for me to dictate a false one.

Me too. You can try to be like your kids but you cannot make them be like you!

I would keep the kid informed of what work they would have to put in to make it in any feild they choose so they dont choose based upon what they think is the easy way out. I would let them know that if they screw up due to goofing off in school, I will simply cut the money supply till they get serious.

You can talk all day about what they "should do", but that does not mean they will want to or even have the ability to do it. I think parents push THIER dreams off on the kids....the same thing happens with fathers and the sports they get their sons into some times....and it usually backfires in many ways.

As far as college goes I will pick the college they go to now all else..that's on them...I will give them the information I feel they need to make a good decision but in the end it's their decision to make and I will support them right wrong or otherwise

Mississippi Red

I will take my child to every Black College ona campus tour that I believe will be great for them. I have faith that my first born will be a spitting image of me. What reason will they have to go against me? In this case.....Daddy Know's Best!!!!

But just like Manasiac said, They can choose the destiny, and I will shut it down if it is false. I am not expecting them to go into Computers like I am, but they will be Honors students, they will go to a top quality Black College (FAMU leading the list), and they will earn Master's Degrees and become somebody. Because with me, it is all about the books first! By the time my child turns 10, they will fall in love with college. I mean right now, I am currently surrounded by a family that strongly values education! Something highly worth adapting to!

Cedric Denson

Cedric you contradict yourself everytime you talk about kids and not controlling thier destiny let me give you some examples:

"I will choose the boys my daugters dates" --Ced in a n old post

"but they will be Honors students, they will go to a top quality Black College (FAMU leading the list), and they will earn Master's Degrees and become somebody."
" -- Dat Pimp Ced

"By the time my child turns 10, they will fall in love with college" -- Cedric "The Totalitarian" Denson

I mean dude, you got to be real here, these are some lofty ambitions to accomplish, especially when dealing with a human that has it''s own will.

I would give advice but leave the choice up to them for i trust
in the choices they make , but in some areas i must lay the law
to prefection for i am and will be the solo guide to lead them into
a better future for them self but it really is what they do with it
and how well they can handle it alone .........

We all as parents want our kids to be something in life…and be good at what they do I would not pick my kids school nor the life they want…. I would give them proper information and allow them to pick the school or career of their choice….but I think the final decision should be theirs. If they are not happy with your choice…higher chance for them to drop out or just neglect schooling….

And if you notice they do have minds after graduation I think its best to let them make there choices we are only the guide and hope they follow our lead and do good in life They will never learn life if they are not allowed to make mistakes to learn from…We cant protect them always and I am a over protective mom….

Cedric you contradict yourself everytime you talk about kids and not controlling thier destiny let me give you some examples:

"I will choose the boys my daugters dates" --Ced in a n old post

"but they will be Honors students, they will go to a top quality Black College (FAMU leading the list), and they will earn Master's Degrees and become somebody."
" -- Dat Pimp Ced

"By the time my child turns 10, they will fall in love with college" -- Cedric "The Totalitarian" Denson

I mean dude, you got to be real here, these are some lofty ambitions to accomplish, especially when dealing with a human that has it''s own will.

Yes, I am aware that I contradict myself most of the time when I say something, but I grow up and I learn better every single day. In that old post, I said what I said the the mindset of an uptight father. At this present time, I am learning to cut my child loose a little bit when or if I have one. When I said that I would choose the boys, I was saying that just showing how serious I will be about who my daughter (or son) dates. It has nothing to do with pimpin', it has something to do with me keeping my children away from the wrong boys and girls. I don't want my children getting into relationships where they will be hurt. By me saying what I said, that just proves how serious I am about it.

The reason my children will fall in love with college, is because I am in a family that values education. They will have a father who takes it very seriously, and my family believe it or not has been very good with 'spitting images.' I doubt that will stop with me. Most of the ancestors that I have take after either their mothers or fathers. I took a bit of my mother, and made it far, and I took a bit of my father, and made it far. With all of the family influence, besides the abuse I suffered from them, I took their skills and turned out the be the Most Likely to Succeed out of everyone in the family. All of the knowledge that I take in, gets passed right on to my children. I am set to have children when I am ready to have children, and when I have them, I will be ready to feed them this knowledge. They will learn from a very caring father. How can I prove it? I have a younger brother, 11 years-old. He gets a bit of his mother, bit of his father, bit of me (who takes good care of him), and he has turned out to be a very intelligent child who loves to read and write, and who loves visiting college campuses. If that is not proof enough after 11 years, then I don't know what is. Back then you could be right Manasiac, I was a 'totalitarian', but I learned that they will pick up on that when they grow up. With all that our family teaches the children, the children make the right decisions themselves; we don't have to make decisions for them. I didn't think about that before. I am at the point in life where I am growing up and learning alot. Many thigns will change when I get older, and they will change because I will change. But when I change, I will be a lot smarter than I am now. In years, I could be regretting most of what I say now because I will know better.

Always remember, my actions speak for my words 90% of the time. That will be passed on in the strong family that I build myself, just like everyone else. I set goals in life and I complete them. If raising children to be Honors' students is a goal of mine (long-term goal), then it can and will happen. And all it will take is me, and God.

As far as me having lofty ambitions and my own will, I have God on my side. He knows that my goals take time, and that is exactly how I operate. That is what I do. I am not into the dream business. I don't have dreams. Someone once said, "You can do anything as long as you put your mind to it." Someone also said, "The journey of 1,000 miles begins with one stpe." In life, I take one step at a time. I am not ready to begin making babies yet, but when I am, I know it will be a success. I have faith in God that things will be fine when I get older.

Cedric Denson

You cannot control people like that man. You need more than God to control another being that has it own will power.

I mean I feel your points but you need to really look at reality man. What if your kids do not want to be honors students, what if they want to be average regular kids?

I mean, I really dig the sense of strongness, but I just wonders what happens if your kids end up the opposite of what you try to drill them in?

Well one of my mothers favorite saying is, " If you make your bed hard. You have to lay in it. " So children should have choices. But there has to be guidance. I'm teaching my son, about electronics and how to make himself some money, because today, you can't rely on a business degree, or a marketing degree to get work.

Professions change and you must have many skills. To fall back on. I will let him decide if he wants to study in college. I don't want him to get into his junior year and change his mind about his major. I don't have a problem with him getting a job after graduation. Get that job and have your employer pay for your education. There are no hard fast rule. One thing to know is you should never stop educating yourself. It is never to late to get a degree, or sharpen your skills.

:whip: I look at this way. Some people aren't college material.

Some need Devry. Or another technical trade school. I know plenty of folks who took six years to get their degrees. They still cranked out a good living while their employer paid the cost.

You cannot control people like that man. You need more than God to control another being that has it own will power.

I mean I feel your points but you need to really look at reality man. What if your kids do not want to be honors students, what if they want to be average regular kids?

I mean, I really dig the sense of strongness, but I just wonders what happens if your kids end up the opposite of what you try to drill them in?

I cannot guarantee that they will be as good as I say they will be, but aI can have faith in them making it very far in life, and that if mostly what I care about.

I am the LAST one in my family to fail on something that I put my mind to. Yes, they can turn out to be something that is the opposite of what I say say will be, but it has not happened with ANYONE in family in the past generations. I didn't need more than God to save myself from living on the streets and going to prison, I didn't need more than God to get me back in school so that I can graduate with Honors, and head to a great quality college, and I did not need more than God to get me through each day. I should have said before, on the outside, that is who everyone knows me as. On the inside, nobosy knows what I am about except me and God. I may sound unbelievable to you, but I have been on with this lifestyle for about 5 years now, and I have come very far. I have done it all by myself. I'm doing things and getting places that I never though could happen.

My actions speak louder than my words. I am capable of doing big things, and I will do big things. I am not just passing knowledge on to my children; I pass it on to children in the community. I spend good time with children in my community, and that is why it hurts when I always have to get away from them. These are children that go home and are abused by people in their households, whether they may be mothers, fathers, old brothers, whoever. They see me, and I work with them very well.

I am not trying to control anyone, I am just showing how serious I am in black unity, a better environment for younger children, and what kind of family I will be building. I am taking in as much knowledge as I can, and that knowledge will give me power in the future!

I understand that you are telling me that I am going overboard, but I am a very much different from your original young brotha. I don't want to make you think that I am a genius or something, because I have weaknesses just like everyone else. But I do have a mind that will take me a long way. I will succeed in life, and when I do, I will pass on to my family, my community, and society itself.

Cedric Denson

Ced playa, just calm down and remember that children evenutally make their own decisions.

Oh yeah, of course they will have their decisions, I am just showing you how serious I am about raising a successful family. I have come very far in what I want to succeed in in life. I WILL NOT fall back from the progress that I am making. I didn't want to get all hype about this either, but in my family, NOT ONE PERSON has went against what the family does. It is traditional that we take after either our mothers or fathers in my family. When I go on to succeed, I will put the family back on track. We bearly talk to one another, it will be me shining headlines that puts the family back together. And the children of the family will defintely turn out successful. We help eachother, and keep eachother up, regardless of the past.

When I put my mind to it, things can and will happen. They have in the past 5 years, they will in the next 10.


Oh yeah, by the way Manasiac, I hope you are preparing for Hurricane Jeanne. It just wiped out Haiti. Lucky me, I'm gonna be up in New York for a banquet. I just hope that you and everyone else on here who lives down here are fine. And what did you hear about Hurricane Lisa? Rumors are flying around, and I am getting sick and tired of these Hurricanes.

Cedric Denson