On another thread, a frw of us brought up the point that parents, especially Black parents, seem to threaten their children with violence to make them "act right." What is the worst thing you have said you your kids to keep them in line? What is the worst thing your parents have said to you?

Some of my favorites:

Don't make me hurt you.
I will knock you into next week.
Stop crying before I give you something to cry about.
I brought you into this world, I can take you out.

u know some of those was moma's words

feel like showing out feel this (((((Bam)))))
shut up now before i shut u up!
that was one i heard about many times taking me out whewwww!
so u grown now pack before u become a kid again.
drop them pants i'm going to show u what it feel like to hit somebody!
i will slap u into tomorrow keep it up ...

My folks weren't good with one-liners. If a back hand didn't work the most threatening line was, "wait til your father comes home"! That was enough to make me :cry:

My folks weren't good with one-liners. If a back hand didn't work the most threatening line was, "wait til your father comes home"! That was enough to make me :cry:

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that one. My moms nevre really used that one on us... She'd usually get so mad that she would explode, and she'd yell for my father to "come get yo' daugther!"

This is good I like this thread ....Let me see...hmmmm
1. You look at me like that again and I will blow your
brains out (Mama) she was rough but I needed it
2. I'll break yo (wish I could cuss) a boy! (Daddy)
3. assorted You thank you a man? don't make me put my hands on you , and where is that racetrack I got you ....I got something fo you come henh...

Oh and my Daddy's famous one...come henh bruh let me holla at you fo a tick....

The good old days..

Mississippi Red

Get em boy!! :yo:

My mama used to say some krazy stuff:

"Say it again! I'll knock the living starch outta you!"
"Go get me a switch!.....3 of em!"
"Park It right henh!" (sit your butt down)
"Now, I don' said it ONE time! I'm NOT gon' say it AGAIN!"

My sister, brother and I to this day are still trying to figure out, WHAT IN THE HECK WAS THE LIVING STARCH?!

Ya'll have me in stitches over here.

Ok...here's a few.

1. "Boy....if you don't sit your little narrow *** down."

2. "Bow up in my face again...I swear fo Gawd...I'll stump a mole hill in your ***."

3. "Do it again...Do it again. I dare ya. Do it again."

When she wanted me to be quiet because I was talking too much, she'd say:

4. "Zip it!" :maddd:

5. "Unt uh...move your hand." *pap pap* <<<< getting a spanking

She would send me to the corner store. After giving me instructions, she'd say:

6. "And you'd better get back here before this spit dries up." And then she'd spit in the grass...and I would take off running for the store. :lol:

Ok...my all time favorite is: *...and I really thought she could do this...and was actually trying to do this*

She was combing my hair for church and dem peas was a poppin'...she'd say...

7. "Move again...and I'll slap da black off you."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh Man! Monetary, My stomach hurt from laughing at those! ....You better get back here before this spit dries up.....I can just see you now hauling *** to the store!

My mama used to say some krazy stuff:

"Say it again! I'll knock the living starch outta you!"
"Go get me a switch!.....3 of em!"
"Park It right henh!" (sit your butt down)
"Now, I don' said it ONE time! I'm NOT gon' say it AGAIN!"

My sister, brother and I to this day are still trying to figure out, WHAT IN THE HECK WAS THE LIVING STARCH?!

I think living starch is about the same as the black that Monetary was talking about. Basically, she was threatening your life and ability to walk and talk normally.

My granma wouls ask us straight out: Y'all want the belt? I'm still looking for the fool that said Yeah!

6. "And you'd better get back here before this spit dries up." And then she'd spit in the grass...and I would take off running for the store.

:confused: No wonder you got issues Money! :laugh:

Ya'll are funny. My mother had this one, that I guess I figured out what it meant but...She used to say,"I'll knock the "botts" out of you!" Always perplexed me. So one day I decided to ask her, what are the "botts"? Whew...It was wrong to ask that question, especially right after she said it....smh

Ya'll are funny. My mother had this one, that I guess I figured out what it meant but...She used to say,"I'll knock the "botts" out of you!" Always perplexed me. So one day I decided to ask her, what are the "botts"? Whew...It was wrong to ask that question, especially right after she said it....smh
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Now, that's funny.

Ya'll have me in stitches over here.

Ok...here's a few.

1. "Boy....if you don't sit your little narrow *** down."

2. "Bow up in my face again...I swear fo Gawd...I'll stump a mole hill in your ***."

3. "Do it again...Do it again. I dare ya. Do it again."

When she wanted me to be quiet because I was talking too much, she'd say:

4. "Zip it!" :maddd:

5. "Unt uh...move your hand." *pap pap* <<<< getting a spanking

She would send me to the corner store. After giving me instructions, she'd say:

6. "And you'd better get back here before this spit dries up." And then she'd spit in the grass...and I would take off running for the store. :lol:

Ok...my all time favorite is: *...and I really thought she could do this...and was actually trying to do this*

She was combing my hair for church and dem peas was a poppin'...she'd say...

7. "Move again...and I'll slap da black off you."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

all i can do is laugh..:lol: wheeew you sho ya aint my real brother or my momma and ya momma hung out...:lol:

u know some of those was moma's words

feel like showing out feel this (((((Bam)))))
shut up now before i shut u up!
that was one i heard about many times taking me out whewwww!
so u grown now pack before u become a kid again.
drop them pants i'm going to show u what it feel like to hit somebody!
i will slap u into tomorrow keep it up ...

Rich, you Funny, brotha(LOL!) You, too, Whatzinaname(LOL!)

My moms would do a two-step combo, like maybe she thought she was in church 'bout to git happy feet and shout, or perhaps the Native American in her made her appear to be doing a war dance, or something(smile!) Her eyes would get all big, and her cheeks would blow up...aw man I'd feel like Damon Wayans gettin' thrown down the steps again!(smile!)

After all of that she'd put her hands on her hips, and glower at me long enough for me to want to just dig a hole and crawl into it(smile!) Yikes! Man, I would be happy for her to threaten me after all that drama!!!(smile!)

My Daddy, would just look at you like, "...is you craaazay????" Yo, that's what I'd do my daughters, and it was crazy effective(LOL!) My babies would come to my wriinging their hands, "..dada, i sahree." Now, dats some RESPECT!!!(smile!)

Why do African women like to talk smack to their kids while they're administering dat whippin'... Is that an African Thang???(LoL!) OOO, such emphasis on the downbeat!

Peace!
Isaiah

I am rolling with laughter! :lol: Whew, you gotta luv yo people!! Money I wanna meet yo mama! She sound like a woman after my own heart!! :lol:

Queenie :spinstar:

To re-visit this thread:

Why do parents always feel the need to threaten their children?

To scare them enough to keep them out of situations where the "white man" won't kill them. To get you to behave in ways such that our children aren't noticeable by the "wrong" people. At least that's what I think the origins of African American parenting-style stems from--when we were slaves or enslaved.

Originally we were trying to keep our children "safe" to prevent them from being taken away from us. An African American mother/father would rather beat you or discipline you for doing something stupid and calling "negative" attention to yourself, than have a white person use his/her privilege of whiteness and make another Black victim of you.

MHO...

Queenie :spinstar:

That actually makes sense. Comments like "I'ma beat the black off of you" come to mind. As if we could stop our children from doing things that are "too Black" in the eyes of white folks that may get them killed or worse. I've never thought about it that way.......

To re-visit this thread:

Why do parents always feel the need to threaten their children?

It makes them feel big. It is about fear and control. They have little power outside the home so they overcompensate in the home. Any reference to slavery means nothing.....that is long enough ago that if blacks WANTED to change, they could. It takes no more than ONE generation to correct a problem in parenting style.





To answer Isaiah on the trash talking....why does the B-Ball player trash talk when playing?? Because they enjoy what they are doing, it is a source of pride to them, it helps mentaly defeat the enemy, and it just plain make them fell good about the task they are carying out..........same for black parents beating the crap outta their kids.

I never beat the crap out of my child but a little trash talking never hurt! At least, not in my opinion. In fact, done at the optimum time and done well, it can be quite effective. It requires skill that needs to be mastered though and you can't be weak at heart, especially when the kid is larger than you are. Sometimes you just gotta stand up and say hey, here it is...take it or leave it! :hulk:

Queenie :spinstar:

I never beat the crap out of my child but a little trash talking never hurt! At least, not in my opinion. In fact, done at the optimum time and done well, it can be quite effective. It requires skill that needs to be mastered though and you can't be weak at heart, especially when the kid is larger than you are. Sometimes you just gotta stand up and say hey, here it is...take it or leave it! :hulk:

Queenie :spinstar:

Whaaa??? Queenie talkin' trash??? Nope, I refuse to believe it!!!!(smile!)

Seriously though, Queenie, Black parents wonder why our children talk so much stuff all the time, and I wonder where they got THAT from?*LOL!* My grandmother talked so much stuff to me she was in my head when she wasn't even there... You best believe its effective!!!

Peace!
Isaiah

My daddy was the BEST at talking trash but the scarier part was he could back it up too! :flamet: You may have thought about trying something but after second thoughts (usually after remembering what he said he would do) :thinking: Hmmm..you quickly came to your RIGHT mind! :angel1: Pops was no joke. Moms didn't talk too much...I think in another life she taught Bruce Lee a few of his famous moves! :karate: Believe me, she was effective too!

Queenie (a survivor of the Master of "trash talk")

The best one my momma said was if you call the police on me I'll be one the other line with the belt. i still believe she would have been on the other line too. :whip:

The things black people are proud of .. .......:confused: :insane:

*SMH*

I'm out.


Blak

I don't agree that anyone is expressing pride in the way we were disciplined or communicated to MrBlak and it's obvious you're taking this to heart. Whatever our parents did...rightly or wrongly, depending on the individual's point of view, we are still here today, on the internet, demonstrating that we survived it and are no worse for wear because of it. Many of us are high achievers, intelligent and articulate human beings who know our worth and have good self-esteem. We have become good parents because we remember the values and strong morals that our parents instilled in us at an early age. We are up-to-date on current events, foreign affairs, politics, economics, educated, and many of us are gainfully employed or self-employed, spiritually guided and even still, our mothers and fathers probably talked a lot of trash to us when we were young and whooped our butts when they felt we needed it.

We're not describing our parents as abusive people even though they made us cry every once in a while. They weren't abusive in the sense that the majority society describes it today. Our parents were working class, grassroots people and wanted the BEST for their children. They struggled and worked hard, often making just enough to barely put a meal on our table but my brother and I never thought of ourselves as being poor. They fought battles for us and their people and worked their fingers to the bone to raise us the best way they could in a hostile situation. No, it may not be "pride" as you meant it but whatever you want to call it, it darn sure helped to form me into the great woman that I think I am today and for that I'm definitely grateful to them! :bowdown:

So, yeah, I'm one of those Black people....Queenie :spinstar:

I don't agree that anyone is expressing pride in the way we were disciplined or communicated to MrBlak and it's obvious you're taking this to heart. Whatever our parents did...rightly or wrongly, depending on the individual's point of view, we are still here today, on the internet, demonstrating that we survived it and are no worse for wear because of it. Many of us are high achievers, intelligent and articulate human beings who know our worth and have good self-esteem. We have become good parents because we remember the values and strong morals that our parents instilled in us at an early age. We are up-to-date on current events, foreign affairs, politics, economics, educated, and many of us are gainfully employed or self-employed, spiritually guided and even still, our mothers and fathers probably talked a lot of trash to us when we were young and whooped our butts when they felt we needed it.

We're not describing our parents as abusive people even though they made us cry every once in a while. They weren't abusive in the sense that the majority society describes it today. Our parents were working class, grassroots people and wanted the BEST for their children. They struggled and worked hard, often making just enough to barely put a meal on our table but my brother and I never thought of ourselves as being poor. They fought battles for us and their people and worked their fingers to the bone to raise us the best way they could in a hostile situation. No, it may not be "pride" as you meant it but whatever you want to call it, it darn sure helped to form me into the great woman that I think I am today and for that I'm definitely grateful to them! :bowdown:

So, yeah, I'm one of those Black people....Queenie :spinstar:

Queenie, I can't say enough about you, and your inimitable way of putting perspective on things like seasoning on a fine soul food meal(smile!) Ah, tasty!

Mr. Blak, our parents talked up a storm to keep us outta difficulty with smart-mouthed police, and other crazed fools we might come into contact with when out of their presence. Hell, as a child playing ball in my neighborhood, we talked mad trash, and we laughed it off like it was nothing, because our parents had toughened us mentally... As you know, as a hiphop head, there is a great deal of trash talking that goes on in the genre... Is it conceivable to you that this aspect of RAP would not be possible were it not for our "Power-hungry" parents???(smile!) Brother, have a little more perspective in what you say sometimes... Please???

Peace!
Isaiah

I really enjoyed this thread, as it took me straight back to my youth. My Mom had 3 boys (I'm the eldest) and you know she had to whup some behinds sometimes. :)
And though I thought I hated her back then, she taught me discipline and I am here today because she loved us enough to keep us on the path.

Man, these are some lovely stories. So, then, I guess most of us agree that for all the things our parents said to us "back in the day" made us better people?

Man, That was some funny-stuff!! I'm still laughing @ what yall' said!. Queenie-girl, you were right on point.Mad Props to ya',and yes, Toylin, I definately agree that what my parents said to me has made me a better person fo'sho!.

I like how I am told to have more perspective when I bring in PART of my views on the way blacks communicate and fixate on these ideas....but when every black person has tunnel vision and says the same old lines word for word and acts like there is no other way to raise kids successfully...they are just being real......and I am the closed minded one.

Sorry for not holding the "black" opinion...not that any of you know my whole opinion. You have just seen my anger at the tunnel vision black folks get some times.

I like how I am told to have more perspective when I bring in PART of my views on the way blacks communicate and fixate on these ideas....but when every black person has tunnel vision and says the same old lines word for word and acts like there is no other way to raise kids successfully...they are just being real......and I am the closed minded one.

Sorry for not holding the "black" opinion...not that any of you know my whole opinion. You have just seen my anger at the tunnel vision black folks get some times.

MrBlak, the point where you and I disagree is when you suggested that people who are expressing a different view than yours were taking "pride" in the way they were raised if spanking was involved. I'm certainly not suggesting that there may not be other ways to raise a child because that would be ridiculous. Your opinion is certainly welcomed and I for one, respect it, just don't agree with it. I don't recall reading that you have a child yet but I have and as much as I may want to sit here and say that I never spanked her when she was growing up, I can't because there were times when I honestly believed it was necessary. But that doesn't mean that I didn't attempt to explore other options either before I disciplined her. Like most people, I have a certain set of values and beliefs that I won't compromise on nor tolerate disrespect and when a child has the benefit of knowing the difference which mine did, then I believe that the punishment must fit the infraction. But that's just my opinion and single voice of experience.

Queenie :spinstar:

This is my last post on this and maybe here overall.

You seem to be the reasonable one here..but still are missing the point.

There are a million and one things that go into raising a child and yet blacks dont talk about it....not here, not else where. Only beatings are of interest. I tested this and observed it too. The one test I did when no one paid attention to my observations was to ask black parents to lay out all the different ways to teach kids to not behave and avoid punishment. I did this at the same time that one of the member took my comment about how black would be all over a "what did your mama beat you with" hypothetcal thread. The jerk made the thread and in 24 h, my thread about teaching kids to do right got 3 hits....the "what did your mama beat you with" thred got over 120 replies....and they were talking and laughing about what they were beaten with. When you fixate on something and talk about it all day, when most of what you consider the funniest jokes revolve around it, when any discussion of community improvement includes it, when people in the community who speak out about it are called soft or "white".....YOU ARE PROUD OF IT.

I dont want to hang around so the last thing I will let you know is my opinion: To strike a child open handedly as a last resort is perfectly fine with me. PERIOD.

What I have a problem with is that many take it too far....black people dont spank...they bet with objects....then when people like me speak out...I am told "thats part of being black"....that is called being PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am also against the idea that there is no such thing as abuse......Black people define abuse as at least a step beyond what ever their parents did, so that they can say it does exist....but they were never a victim.....wouldnt matter if mom ripped the meat off their back....they would simply define abuse as being hit over the head with a bat......and YES...I have heard that line numerous times...I did not make it up. Also, has your parents ever spoken to or taught you anything??? If so at that point they were affecting how you turn out without hitting you. If beatings constitute 5% of child rearing....then why does it constitute 99% of conversation on child rearing??????????? (PROUDNESS)

Anyways, I am talking to one person who seems to be listening, you, and a brick wall, the rest of black people. This is the only discussion (where people care to respond to me) I am having on this site and that is no reason to stay.

Have a good life...you are one of few that is reasonable out here NNQueen.

peace

MrBlak

This is my last post on this and maybe here overall.

You seem to be the reasonable one here..but still are missing the point.

There are a million and one things that go into raising a child and yet blacks dont talk about it....not here, not else where. Only beatings are of interest. I tested this and observed it too. The one test I did when no one paid attention to my observations was to ask black parents to lay out all the different ways to teach kids to not behave and avoid punishment. I did this at the same time that one of the member took my comment about how black would be all over a "what did your mama beat you with" hypothetcal thread. The jerk made the thread and in 24 h, my thread about teaching kids to do right got 3 hits....the "what did your mama beat you with" thred got over 120 replies....and they were talking and laughing about what they were beaten with. When you fixate on something and talk about it all day, when most of what you consider the funniest jokes revolve around it, when any discussion of community improvement includes it, when people in the community who speak out about it are called soft or "white".....YOU ARE PROUD OF IT.

I dont want to hang around so the last thing I will let you know is my opinion: To strike a child open handedly as a last resort is perfectly fine with me. PERIOD.

What I have a problem with is that many take it too far....black people dont spank...they bet with objects....then when people like me speak out...I am told "thats part of being black"....that is called being PROUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am also against the idea that there is no such thing as abuse......Black people define abuse as at least a step beyond what ever their parents did, so that they can say it does exist....but they were never a victim.....wouldnt matter if mom ripped the meat off their back....they would simply define abuse as being hit over the head with a bat......and YES...I have heard that line numerous times...I did not make it up. Also, has your parents ever spoken to or taught you anything??? If so at that point they were affecting how you turn out without hitting you. If beatings constitute 5% of child rearing....then why does it constitute 99% of conversation on child rearing??????????? (PROUDNESS)

Anyways, I am talking to one person who seems to be listening, you, and a brick wall, the rest of black people. This is the only discussion (where people care to respond to me) I am having on this site and that is no reason to stay.

Have a good life...you are one of few that is reasonable out here NNQueen.

peace

MrBlak

Mr. Blak, actually, you are right about the violence African parents oft inflict/inflicted on their children... Dr. Joy Leary has done extensive research on what she calls Post-Slavery Traumatic Syndrome, and she points to Black parents beating their children with their clothes off as a carry over from slavery... That blew me away, because of it's obvious logic... So, brother, I can understand where you are coming from on that...

My problem with you is that sometimes you come off as though you've heard it, seen it, and know it all... You being 20-something, I know damned well you haven't... Grant me that???(smile!) It is how you present your thoughts, man... I apologize if I have offended you in the past... I can be very straightforward in my old age... :swim:

Peace!
isaiah