I have heard a lot of women on the net say...
"All my friends are men, I don't like women and won't trust them as far as I can see them." "If she is not family, she's not cool."

Many times they say this as if they are bragging about not liking women...their sisters. I've always wondered why this happens.

I've never had problems making friends with women. I have run into one or two that I thought was trifling...but even then I still let them know they didn't have to treat people crazy just to fit in...normally they became comfortable and stopped their nutty behavior.

Why are so many women apt to stop all communication with other women? Why are there no second chances in some friendships? Why do we automatically choose not to trust another woman?

A lot of the issue of not trusting our sisters comes from that whole competition thing. We feel like we're in competition for jobs, friends, men....... Most women automatically compare themselves to other women they pass on the street. Examples:

"Not she is NOT wearing that outfit."
"Look at all that weave!"
"He is so fine, what is he doing with her?"\

I have never had a whole lot of female friends. My reasons where usually that the women I met were too caught up in things like hair, clothes, make-up, spending money..... Most men that I met were into politics, social activism, culture, poetry.. Maybe it's where I grew up. These days, I prefer a mixed group. It just seems to me that when a group of women get together, we usually talk about two thing: other women, and men.

In fact, most of the women I have met all say that they don't have many female friends. Like I said, maybe it's a competition thing. Growing up, we were told (or we gleaned from actions) that while sistas were made to be best friends, it's usually another sista that will stab you in the back. Now, I'm not saying this is true, but to some people, it may well be.

Most women automatically compare themselves to other women they pass on the street. Examples:

"Not she is NOT wearing that outfit."
"Look at all that weave!"
"He is so fine, what is he doing with her?"\

You know, I've heard both men and women say this. But I still don't understand how some women can write ALL women off.

I have a wide variety of friends...ranging in age from 22 to 54 years of age. Each one of them have been instrumental in teaching me something about myself either directly or indirectly.

I'm quicker to give a compliment than I am to be catty. Cattiness just seems so negative.

Why is it that women feel the need to compete with their friends?

if all of your Friends are men and no one is trying to get any honey, why that's a sure sign, you need to lose some weight. :wink:

if all of your Friends are men and no one is trying to get any honey, why that's a sure sign, you need to lose some weight. :wink:

Uh oh.... I'm handing you a bullet-proof vest, a helmet, and a Plexi glass shield for that one. :nono: Watch out, now! :)

Who the heck are you talking to James? Do you ever say anything positive?


The "All My FRIENDS are men" is just the name of the post!

Uh oh.... I'm handing you a bullet-proof vest, a helmet, and a Plexi glass shield for that one. :nono: Watch out, now! :)
i may need two vests! :laugh:

I agree with Toylin. It seems as though women allow men and material/physical things to separate us. I never understood this way of thinking. I have only one female friend, which is sad because I am very open to meeting new people.

friends... associates.... buddies... wathave u.... most of mine are men.. i got bout 3 real female friends.. for me, i tend to have a selective group of female associates - so when it comes to keeping a female freinds somin always goes wrong sooner than later...and the ones i do have are like from middle school- who stuck wit me. as for my male friends- mainly ex's and jus guys i chill wit. i think it all depends on preference... i have my moods where i mainly chill wit nuthing but guys- im mean i dont have sisters- so naturally thats what im used to- and then ohter times- i jus need to chill wit my gurls.

but i do have to aggree wit the competition comment...sometimes we are too judgemental when decidin who to be friends wit before they cross our line- we judge em for crossing one of our freinds or somin....

I have male and female friends, however, one of my best friends is a man. There have been females that I have cut off for underhanded things they have done to me or if I found their motives to be suspicious or self-serving, but no, I do not consider all of my "sisters" in that same vein. I meet each person as an individual, and I will determine my friendship with you based on that.

Women do tend to be more competitive with other women though. Some make you feel like they are scoring you from head to toe. From your clothes to your makeup, your shoes, to the car you're driving. They will talk about you badly and then hit you with the "Hey, girl" when you are walking up to them. I am guilty of having done this before. I am glad that I surrounded myself a few years ago with women of different ages, who knew of actual topics to talk about and who had activities outside of the mall or searching for a new man. These things, make friendships with women more enjoyable and thriving for me.

I am glad that I surrounded myself a few years ago with women of different ages, who knew of actual topics to talk about and who had activities outside of the mall or searching for a new man.

I hear you Jazzymoonchild,
I too guess I consider myself lucky. My friends and I talk about traveling, retirement, work, our childhood, family issues, mortgages, sports, and media. I could talk all day long about all the silly things I tried to do as a child and young adult...usually keeping everyone on the floor laughing.

People will only talk to you about things you allow them to put out there. If you don't like what someone is saying change the subject.

This seems to be an interesting post. I remember during undergraduate school I was always hearing about females not getting along with their roommate(s). I have observed that some females have the tendacy to think that they are royalty and want everything their way. If you object to something they say or do then there is a problem. Maybe she is just a drama queen. Furthermore, it may be because females are more likely to talk things out. We all know how gossip can get spread and then there is trouble not to far behind.

One problem I see in my middle school class is that the children are always putting each other down. Besides that all the fights at school are females!

My father once made the comment (talking about my generation in general) "Y'all talk too much." Meaning we discuss everything with each other... I mean, why would you dish all the good details about last's night romp with your significant other.. and NOT expect someone else to get curious?

We mainly put other's down when we're feeling insecure about ourselves. So, I guess many of us feel threatened when we perceive someone as doing "one better" than us.

I can honestly say that 95 percent of my good friends are men. I wouldn't say that I don't trust women, they just don't appeal to me when it comes to being friends. It's not done deliberately, it just seemed to happen over time. I can say that growing up, I had a house full of male family members, I was a basketball playing tomboy, and I tended to be surrounded by men at all times. The only girls that wanted to be my friends were those who wanted to be "friends (special friends)" with my brothers and cousins. They sort of built that mistrust. So I just never knew if these women were sincere friends or were attempting to get with the men I hung around.

I used to be a tomboy, and to this day I am still. I think that other females feel threatend by me. Not bragging or anything, but I am smart, look decent, and I love sports. Not only that, I have an older brother, and I used to hang out with him and his friends. So, I'm used to having males around. I have male friends because I'm most comfortable around them, not because I'm promiscuous. It's sad when you have to sleep around in order for guys to be around you. I've even had some guys to tell me that they can't hang around me because their girl has a problem with me. I've tried making female friends, but it's not as easy as some people think. Females seem to compete in everything--that's ridiculous! Also, I'm not into the girly things like teasets and things like that. Don't misundertand, I'M NOT A DYKE OR HOMO EITHER!!!!! Honestly, many females are too prissy; they're busy looking for a man wherever they go. What's wrong with going to a game or playing in a rough sport and just chillin' out and have a good time instead of always trying to have your t&a in some dude's face?

I do have to agree with uniquelymade....Since day one I've been surrounded by men and women ALWAYS think you're sleeping with the men you hang around. I even had chicks thinking I was sleeping with my own relatives (they didn't know they were relatives, but still they should've asked or something). I went to college and hung with the football team at a state university and my brothers best friend was a star player. He introduced me to the team and they were my buds (for life), but I always had run ins with the groupies. Some of them went off to the NFL/NBA and now I really get it from the women. It's sad, but it comes with the territory. I welcome all friendships, but SOME women have security issues and it just never works outl.

Royal T has a point.. when she says that some women have security issues. We, as women, are taught to live a double standard. We don't NEED men, but when we find one, we had better hold on to him at any cost. How many times have we heard of women fighting to get their abusive, adulturous husband back, saying things like, "He may beat me and cheat on me and steal my money, but at least he's MINE." *smh* We've always been told ot protect what's ours, and in a lot of cases if we look at our mothers/aunts/whoever, they have taught us this all our lives. How many times have we heard, "what you won't do for your man, another woman will.."? That teaches us to be possesive, and we immediately suspect another woman of trying to encroach on our territory.

SOME WOMEN HAVE HAD FRIENDS WHO THEY THOUGHT THEY COULD TRUST AND IT ENDED UP BAD. I MEAN MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE MALE AND IT'S JUST BECAUSE MEN ARE FUN TO BE AROUND BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I WOULD GET RID OF ALL OF MY HOMEGIRLS IT JUST WOULDN'T BE THE SAME. :eek: