View Full Version : Black Teenagers : Confused And Hurt
DestinyLove222 08-17-2004, 08:13 PM I have a problem. Two guys want to go with me but I don't know what to do. They are both ok looking. But I just got out of a bad relationship. My ex told my best friend today that he really wants to go with my other best friend. He just went with me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. But I believe he just told my friend that because the things we shared they couldn't have been fake. If this is really true why couldn't he just tell me hisself. My best friend said that she wouldn't go with him cause he's not her type. What should I do?
Lil_Mama 08-18-2004, 12:32 AM i think that u should wait for a min before u go with them boys cause it seem like u still like ur ex. Maybe you just wanna go with them boys cause u wanna prove to urself that ur over ya ex.I did the same things, i went with someone else to prove to myself i was over my ex, but it was all just a waste of time in the first place cause i was forcing myself to believe i was over him, but i really wasn't.I had to heal first before i could really move on. But listen to ya heart.
daroc 08-18-2004, 12:47 AM iight ima try to stay in orda....
1. 2 guys want u- dang i kno u feel great thats mo than me.... but u dont decide who u want be looking at the physical features- u prolly kno that- and if u dont kno off hand who u really want- my best observation is u dont need either one then- cuz u'll kno if u kno if u want to be wit someone- it would be a choir to find out......
2.u say u jus got out of a relatioship... how old r u? wat type of relationship... how long... cuz if it was sumin deep and heartfelt then u gonna need some time to recover whether u want to admitt it or not... we all need time to refind ourselves after being committed to someone.... its called growth.....
3.and the relationship u was in... musta wasnt that good if ur ex is now tryin to get wit ur friend... he shoudlnt have been someone u was wit fromt he get go if he tryin to play u like that afta wards( no offense)_ if this is the same guy
4.u say the feeling couldnt have been fake... how u kno... and if thats so... what others reason would he tell ur freind that.. u need to think about some other angles..... he may have been loving u for real... but if it was real then he wouldnt disrespect u by saying all he is....regaurding yall relatiohsip and his wants now...( hope that makes sense)
5.tell u himself... see some guys like to play games jus like lots of woman.... or he may be really did care about u enuf to not want to hurt u .....( i have a situation simular- ill share at the end)
6.the friend said he's not her type... thats the wrong answer.... if she was ur friend she should be saying that even if he was her tyoe and she was feelin the whole thing nothing could ever happen cuz u her gurl....
sumin simular happen to me.... i gave my ex screen name to one of my friends .. so they could chat.. they start callin each other and talking... she calls me(he tells me afta she brings it up- his excuse was he aint no how i was gone take it) tellin me she wants to see where this is gonna go- A) do i get mad at myslef for "setting" things up B) mad at her for "crossing the line" C) if he's happy i'm happy D) at like i dont care when i do....
in my opinion when it comes to the friend thing- theres jus some lines u dont cross
and about the 2 guys- u kno want u really need- not want- need- so follow ur heart.....
hope i didnt sound all motherly and stuff... jus trying to lay some advice down if i did....
one
-daroc
daroc 08-18-2004, 12:49 AM SUP LIL- MAMA JUS WANTED TO SAY HI AND WELCOME TO DESTEE
SensualReality 08-19-2004, 05:05 PM Aw,I understand how you feel.Guys...well,some guys just don't know how to let people down easily and people mess up...I'm not saying that he didnt like you or whateva but maybe he was just feeling you and then the feelings died.I'd say move on with ya life and please you the way you know how.And until a person comes that completely knocks you off your feet don't worryin about stressin' yourself over it.Just keep your head up and everything will be ok :wink:
Lloyd 08-24-2004, 06:31 AM Just follow ur heart but try to keep it as well as u can!We live just once,we r young once!Maybe tommorrow u'll say "Aww my God,why have i not try to do this or that"!So don't worry about tommorrow and live the present!Who knows,maybe u'll find...luv!!!
AfroBoricuaRoni 08-24-2004, 11:33 PM Dudes. First off, even though they both might appeal to you, never settle for less than what you deserve. Someone went with you because they so called didn't want to hurt your feelings, well they did anyway. Now just pick the better of the two and let things flow naturally from there. AND ALWAYS say from jump street that things must be kept real as ever. If he ain't feeling you like that or you ain't really all that into him then it's up to the two of you to let the other know, that's just out of respect.
I think that ole boy was lying anyway about not wanting to hurt your feelings. He probably was just mad because it was over. Ex's will say anything to save themselves.
krazelyricks 08-25-2004, 10:28 PM Ummmm....... I remember those days when I had two men after me.....it seems just like yesterday. Well, that's because it wasn't that long ago. Anyway, it depends with this type of thing. Are you looking for a committed relationship? (Two sides to every story) If not, I say talk to both of them. You see, if you are a teen like me, which you probably are.....a relationship doesn't count for diddley. Before I became attached (claimed for) I had plenty of friends I was talking too. I wouldn't have called myself a player but rather a person that was just trying to get what she could get. You see, when a boy our age is just getting his job it means he probably doesn't have much to pay, meaning he mainly spends his paycheck on the person he digs. (I.E you) I say take it and ride with it. (Okay, that was one side. Here's the more mature version that most people will probably tell you). Decide whether or not the boy you chose can benefit you in the long run. Does he have goals? Find out if he has a job, this means he is doing something for himself. Is this person in school? Does he have a car? Find out his past relationship record. How did they end? Once you find out all these details it will be easier to weigh the options. Therefore, you will find what you really want and find out what he wants too.
As for your girl. I don't think that she is a bad friend. She didn't take him up on his offer, that's all that matters. That's way more than I can say for the girls in my neighborhood. They will take your man for all he's worth. Your ex- boyfriend, now I say just forget about him. He's nobody. What kind of man would try to talk to your best friend? You kicked him to the curb ( or he you), then let it stay that way. Don't go back to old flames. Start a new flame every time or keep the old ones burning if they never went out. You feel me?
blklespoet 08-26-2004, 10:30 PM If you just got out of a relationship and are not ready to get into another one just yet then just tell the two guys that want you that you are just out of a relationship and that you aren't ready to jump into another one. Its as simple as that. Whatever happened to communication people?? As for you ex wanting to date your friend, honey I wouldn't even give it no mind because he is probably just trying to hurt you. Just be glad that your girl isn't the type of female that would date her friend's ex.
CsBabygirl 11-15-2004, 02:25 PM girl I know how it is but the one thing that i can tell you is not to go with neither one until you get to know them and don't judge by the looks i know you probably know that but sometimes we need to be reminded. If i were in your situation i would just try and get to know both boys if you don't already know them for yourself and whoever seems like they'll treat you the best thats who you should deal with....
1hotvirgowoman 11-15-2004, 05:14 PM This is what I would do. Get to know the two new dudes for as long as you can before you decide on who you want to be with. Time will tell you about the one you want, and in some cases you may end up with no one- trust me it happens!. But at least you were saved from more drama and heartache. As far as your ex- slowly but surely move on, if he's trying to get with your friend what does that tell you?, he can't be trusted and the last thing you need is to be with someone who's thinking about someone else!. But relax Lil' Mama, you are young, no doubt beautiful inside and out, don't worry about that "Worm" of an Ex, You got some major Hotties after you- You Betta Go Git that, Gyrl!!!!
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