There are many men who are lied to by women into thinking they are a child's father. They go years and years thinking this kid is their's all the while supporting the child (and indirectly the woman too). Then later on down the road these men find out the truth through divorce and child support issues. Sometimes these men are forced to keep paying simply because they have been in this child's life since birth. :puke2: This is rediculous. Something needs to be done.

I think that women who lie about this should be prosecuted and put in prison for fraud. That's what it is. It's fraud. Ruining a man's life because you're a skank should be a crime. What do you guys think? Do you know someone that has gone through this and what was their situation like? I think paternity test should be mandatory at birth whether the couple wants one or not. That's a simple way to stop this problem.

Yes I do think the woman should be punished. I'm not sure I'd choose prison, but they should be charged with a crime.

Laws need to start reflecting the actions of women on a case by case basis and should not be stuck back in the day and age where women did not work and were more dependant on men. Women should not be able to stick child support on a male without first PROVING by DNA or a paternity test that he is in fact the father.

People always say it takes two to tangle, but it also takes TWO to be responsible.

If he didn't use a condom and you didn't make him, then next week you are sexin someone else and now you're guessing who the father is...you are just as responsible for that child coming into this world as he is. A woman who is "guessing" who the baby's daddy is should also be responsible for paying back any child support she recieved in error for a child that did not belong to the man you ASSUMED fathered the child.

The system also makes a man pay child support for a child who is not his...but he raised. Meaning just as long as he ASSUMED he is the father, he can still be held for child support even if he is not the biological father. That is messed up. Seems like you can just go point out a man and MAKE him be the father. Something should be done about that.

The judicial system is very discriminatory toward fathers...especially for those who choose to take part in their childs life but can't.

This is nothing new. My uncle was separated from his 1st wife for 3 years before they got a divorce. During their separation my uncle's wife got pregnant and had a child by another man. My uncle did not have a problem with this because he did not intend to reunite with his wife. However during the divorce trial the judge ruled my uncle had to pay child support for the 3 children born to the marriage...well my uncle had no problem with the oldest 2, because they were his children. The 3rd child though was the one conceived by another man during their separation. My uncle informed the judge this, only to be told that since all 3 children had his name...all 3 were his children. As a result my uncle paid for a child which wasn't his for the next 18 years...this happened during the 1960s.

It is definately fradulent for women to "knowingly" claim the wrong man to be the father of their child, and I think they should be held accountable for doing this. I hesitate suggesting jail time, because these children don't need to be without their mother. However I fully support the women having to pay back the money that was unjustly taken from the man. This is the just thing to do, but the courts don't care about justice in paternity cases. All the courts are concerned about is that someone will pay for a child, and that these children don't become wards of the state. In addition I believe that agencies have been created to collect & process child support...it is now a big booming business. Men beware!!! I wouldn't suggest any single man claim paternity without requesting a DNA test...the stroke of your pen on a birth certificate might as well be signed in blood!

That's true. They should have to pay any money back that they got. It not right because even if the child is not the man's he still has to pay. Even if the woman get's remarried and starts living with another man....the guy who was lied to still has to pay. Kids are being used as a form of employment for some women, who just want to sit back and drain some guys wallet. There are too many women that choose to have kids that they can't take care of and then stick it to a man to finance this bad decision...even when the baby is not his. It does take two to be responsible...but the law says that if you get someone pregnant....unless the woman wants to work......the man is financially responsible.

I think that the punishment should be severe to discourage women from thinking they can do this and get away with a slap on the wrist. People will still do it either way, but if they know that "IF" they get caught all they have to do is pay the money back...they will still chance it. I mean people cheat on their taxes and get caught. and only have to pay it back...that's why they still chance it. Not too many people want to chance going to prison over something like this. Plus, it's not just the financial ruin that men will face, but the fact that he went years and years thinking a child was his. Bonding with the child. Loving the child as his own, then finding out that it was all a lie. Your tucking in another man's child. You're teaching another man's child how to read. I think it would devestate the child to see his/ her mother go to prison...but it's just as devastating to find out later that your dad is not your dad.

I'd also like to add that I don't believe women "mistakenly" list the wrong father. A woman knows exactly who & how many people that she was sleeping with at the time she gets pregnant. If a woman is having unprotected sex with multiple partners at the time she got pregnant, then she doesn't have any idea who the father is. In this situation the women needs to inform all men involved of the situation, instead of choosing who she would most like to be the father.

Yes they should because the process needs to stop!
It's a defamation to a man who belives it is his child and a piece of crap to the guy who knows it aint his child.
I'm sorry, then again I'm not sorry! Lock their tails up! It's not our fault they don't know who the father is and it's not our fault if u don't like who the real father is. It's a sad situation and the law needs to step in and put a hault to this farce!

Yes they should because the process needs to stop!
It's a defamation to a man who belives it is his child and a piece of crap to the guy who knows it aint his child.
I'm sorry, then again I'm not sorry! Lock their tails up! It's not our fault they don't know who the father is and it's not our fault if u don't like who the real father is. It's a sad situation and the law needs to step in and put a hault to this farce!

Exactly. The laws are basically saying it's ok unless you get caught. If a man does anything negative concerning his responsibilty to a child he get's a blow-torch put to his *****, but a woman can just cruise by because she's a woman. It's crazy. On top of that, a man does not have the right to even choose to be a father (after having sex), whereas a woman does. That's just another example. But that's another thread entirely. All women have to do is write your name on a paper and collect money and you're stuck, whether the kid is yours or not. You have to prove that it's not your kid. Women should have to prove it is.

Just thinking...That would put Maury Povich out of business....

Just thinking...That would put Maury Povich out of business....

He does make a living with those paternity test doesn't he. Maury is shoveling alot of dirt these days. :lol:

yes yes yes !!!!!

and yes again....i had a very dear friend that was hurt by a woman he thought he could trust and whom he loved....so yes yes yes!!!!!

I absolutely agree with these posts. The women should be held accountable, particularly they should be made to repay any money paid to them from the wrongly identified father. That father should also be able to sue for damages if it is proven that the mother knew way in advance that he wasn't the father, yet did not inform him. The child support enforcement system is seriously biased. There are plenty of good fathers out there who cannot get a break in the system. There are plenty of mothers who are using their children as ATM machines and for spiteful vendettas against the fathers.

It HAS to stop.

I had a conversation on chat a few days ago with a couple of Destee.com sistas, which saddened me. Basically these women supported that if a man signs a birth certificate, then he is responsible for the child (even if he is later proven to not be the father). Their thinking was that the birth certificate is a "legal document", and if the "named" father has doubts, he shouldn't sign. I tried to explain that a man does not always have immediate doubts about paternity, and that quite often doubt surfaces months, even years later. Thus even though a man signs a birth certificate, I don't see how he can be held legally responsible for a child who he mistakenly believed was his. In other words, I fully acknowledge that a birth certificate is a legal document. However, if a man is informed that a child is his (when in reality it isn't), this document has been signed under "false pretenses". This should be obvious as categories on the birth certificate indicates the "mother" and the "father" (not father figure, mother's boyfriend, or adopted father). When a man signs a birth certificate he does so out of the assumption that he is the biological father of that child. I don't see why the law should penalize him for being deceived (as I stated in an earlier post, women know if they were having unprotected sex with more than 1 man at the time they got pregnant).

The conversation I had with these 2 sistas on this subject went in circles (with them not understanding my point, and me not agreeing with theirs). What really saddens me about this situation though is that these sisters could not see how this unjust system encourages male abandonment. Indeed, it appears that men are being punished for doing the "honorable thing" (being involved with a possible child from the beginning). With current paternity laws, it is to the man's advantage to not be involved with a child in any fashion...until the court sends him a letter to pay child support (or take a DNA test). Since the law does not protect men for signing birth certificates under mistaken paternity. Why would any rational single man do so? Furthermore why support a woman during her pregnacy (since anyone who would sign a birth certificate 2 days after the baby was born, would more than likely have supported the mother while she was pregnant)? In addition there is no reason to support a child after he is born, because monies given can be looked upon from the court as acknowledgement of paternity. No the logical thing to do as a man is to wait until a paternity test be given before a child is acknowledge..since the law does not protect against paternity fraud (and women lie about paternity more than anyone is willing to admit).

It should be apparent how these unjust laws are contributing to the breakdown of families (especially in the black community). The psychological damage this is doing to the children is immeasurable. Current paternity laws need to change..period! What sense does it make to force a man to pay for children which aren't his. Ladies why would you want a man who isn't your child's nature father (or your husband/ex-husband) to pay for them anyway? While this might be a source of income...it doesn't bring a father into their lives...which is what the children need!

The 3rd child though was the one conceived by another man during their separation. My uncle informed the judge this, only to be told that since all 3 children had his name...all 3 were his children. As a result my uncle paid for a child which wasn't his for the next 18 years...this happened during the 1960s.

In the state of Michigan, this is still practiced. During a divorce, if a man is married to a woman, any children conceived in that marriage are his legal children. I think that's how it goes. But they have this thing about establishing paternity. However, the courts recognize two kinds of fathers: biological and legal.

I don't agree with those women that sleep around and then "guess" who the father is. I am disgusted with those Maury shows... "We tested 24 men.. have we founf that father?" They always say, it takes a special man to raise another man's kids..........

Yes, those women who KNOWINGLY list the "wrong" father should be charged with some sort of crime. Men who do not pay child support in the state of Michigan are going to jail, and losing their homes, cars, etc. Those women who lie just to get money, at the very least, should be made to pay the money back.

The only problem is that court cases and DNA tests would be ridculous. There is already an automatic "that's not my kid" from most men.. imagine if the woman could now be prosecuted for lying about paternity. How many men would start denying the child immediately after conception?

PanAfrican wrote: The conversation I had with these 2 sistas on this subject went in circles (with them not understanding my point, and me not agreeing with theirs). What really saddens me about this situation though is that these sisters could not see how this unjust system encourages male abandonment. Indeed, it appears that men are being punished for doing the "honorable thing" (being involved with a possible child from the beginning).

I've argued the point as well. I just dont see how someone can sleep at night knowing they are ripping off an innocent man. I think I was almost kicked out of one of my friend's house behind my viewpoint in relation to this topic.

I for one still believe the laws will have to change.

How do you start a petition?

I don't think a DNA test should be automatic, but on the other hand, I agree that a woman who knowlingly lists the wrong father on the birth certificate should face charges. You would think that the guilt would bother a person, but in some cases, I guess not.

How do you start a petition?

I think it depends on the city/state where you are. Mostly, you may have to check with your local gov't. After that, you have to collect X number of signatures and turn in the proposal to the gov't folks. I know you can do a petition online these days as well. Do a search, and I'll try to do one, too. Are you talking national, or starting with local, because most states play follow the leader anyway. :teach:

How do you start a petition?

Here is the first link I found...

http://www.ehow.com/how_16374_start-petition-legislation.html

Hope this helps a bit!

http://www.petitiononline.com/pfv1/petition.html

I think this is one also. Thanks ladies. Useful info. I know I'm filling this out.

You know, the only problem here comes down to this: Should this law get passed, a woman who gets pregnant has to wait 9 months before she gets any kind of support from her child's father if they are not together, especially. Does the proposed law say anything about waiving the DNA test or anything? Like, I KNOW my ex is my son's father, there should be no question about that. But we're getting divorced. So, say this law was already in effect. I would have to wait until after the child was born, the DNA test results came back, AND for a court order to come in before he takes care of his child..... because he doubts my son is his? (This is hypothetical.. He knows it's his kid. He started paying child support the day he moved out.)

Thanks for the links!!

Toylin, that is a good point. But my understanding is when you're married the baby's father is automatically listed on the birth certificate...with no proof needed.

As for the unmarried women, maybe there just should be an amendment made. What that is...well I don't know without knowing exactly what the law states right now.

Like I said, I think a simple way to end this is to test the fathers and babies at birth...regardless of relationshipl situation. Then the man doesn't look bad for asking to take one and it pretects him and the woman if a breakup does happen down the line. Also, the woman would not be able to slip one by. It's a win win situation. There will be no question later on if things go sour. The only ones that would not agree to this would be the women that are lying or the men that know they might want to walk away from the relationship later without paying child support.

Like I said, I think a simple way to end this is to test the fathers and babies at birth...regardless of relationshipl situation. Then the man doesn't look bad for asking to take one and it pretects him and the woman if a breakup does happen down the line. Also, the woman would not be able to slip one by. It's a win win situation.

The states can't help people with health care situations...they will not take on the cost of processing free DNA tests. I can tell you the hospital I work at wouldn't take on that additional cost either.

yet another stumbling block

I think a simple way to end this is to test the fathers and babies at birth...regardless of relationshipl situation. Then the man doesn't look bad for asking to take one and it pretects him and the woman if a breakup does happen down the line. Also, the woman would not be able to slip one by. It's a win win situation. There will be no question later on if things go sour. The only ones that would not agree to this would be the women that are lying or the men that know they might want to walk away from the relationship later without paying child support.

I agree...this would solve a lot of problems (especially with single parents).

LOCK DA UP FOR FRAUD!!!! AND MAKE HER PAY ALL THE COURT COSTS AND WATEVER PUNITIVE DAMAGES THE MAN HAD INCCURRED

lol!!!!

Brother Manasiac because your post was in violation of our forum rules, I edited the unappropiate portion.


Please refrain from profanity!
Thank you!

The states can't help people with health care situations...they will not take on the cost of processing free DNA tests. I can tell you the hospital I work at wouldn't take on that additional cost either.

yet another stumbling block

Hmmmmm, couldn't the insurance cover it as part of the cost of birth? I hear you though, what about the people who don't have insurance and are on the county or something like that. Yes, another stumbling block indeed. I think there just needs to be something done before a baby leaves the hospital to make sure that they father's name on the birth certificate is correct, before all the lawsuits and paternity issues arise. Then it gets messy. Why not nip it as soon as the baby is born. But I guess it's easier said than done. I just think it would make things alot easier and put minds at ease at the same time.

You know, we've been saying that it would be best if DNA testing was done at birth.. What about the women that call 1,2,5,10 men, tell them that she's pregnant, the baby is theirs, she needs abortion money? What about the sisters who begin demanding support while they're pregnant, for food, for doctor's visits, for clothing? I'm not sure if the laws vary from state to state, but a lot of those same who lie, lie all along. Do you ignore her the whole time she's pregnant, only showing up for the results of the DNA test, and then only if the kid is yours, THEN you show some interest?

We've had some good responses thus far.. let's keep it up!

These are difficult questions Toylin. Women often need the most support during the pregnancy; however, if there is doubt about paternity....obviously the men involved would be cautious about taking on too much responsibility at that time. Of course if a man ignores a pregnant woman, and the child is proven to be his...she will be angry with him (for a reason), and could cut him out of the child's life. This is a lose-lose situation; however, the paternity laws being what they currently are...men don't have that many options to protect themselves.

paternal deceipt should be a felony. just think of the maginitude of impact on everyone's live. it's simply dead wrong, and devastating to the family.

Black is Still beautiful!!!
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