Black women:

What is the base level of experience and achievements do you expect of a black man before you would consider him for a romantic relationship, in the following areas: social development and abilities, romantic ability, intimacy experience, sexual experience and ability?

You can answer this for you right now and give a general idea of your age group, and/or you can answer it for the following ages (that you have alredy been thru): 15, 18, 20, 25, 30, 35+

Be honest as we are all adults, no need to be nice, just real.

Thanks,

MrBlak

(btw--Thanks destee for the idea how to get it posted :spin: )

Glad to see you got it posted Brother!!!!!!!!

Now to try and answer your question.

I am 28. My needs are very simple. When lQQking for a mate I have never been the type of person to date a man for personal gain or for the things he has. I always lQQK for qualitites like Honesty, Trustworthyness, Respect, Giving, Hadworking, Gentle, Kind, Strong and HONESTY!....lol
If a man's heart is true, that's enough for me. He can be flippin burgers at a fastfood joint but as long as he's True I don't mind if we may have to strugle to make ends meet or if He has degrees and a wonderful job and can meet my needs with ease as long as I know His heart belongs to me we str8.

Thanks Nita!!
Question for you......if he has had limited dating/relationship experience, would you pass him over thinking it would be too much work to "make it work"?

50+...is a pulse too much to ask for?

Queenie :wave:

50+...is a pulse too much to ask for?

Queenie :wave:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I guess by that age there is nothing to worry about in terms of if the guy has been in a serious relationship before, if he is experienced enuff in the sack, if he can be intimate with a woman etc. That is more something the younger women gotta worry about.....and DO discriminate based on.

Thanks for the post!! :D

LOL @ Queenie.

Greetings, Kings, & Queens, what i look for in a man is, GOD a man who fears GOD is a just man, that means he's righteous, i know that he will sin, we sin daily,but a man who is not afraid, to stand up for what is right. I look for a man who can make me think,and who i can make think, i don't have tyme for games that's for kids, i would like a man who's not afraid to express he's feelings,your human too and i know that men cry too and it's alright. I want a man to be as honest to me has he can, i don't won't a man with his clothes hanging off his ***, i don't want a man who cann't be social, i don't won't a man who speak more street slaine than teenagers, i look for the love in his heart, i look for a man that carry himself with respect, one that know's how too treat a woman,but i guest i'm asking for too much, so i guest i'll still be single for a while. :spinn: i'm 32 by the way. peace & blessings,1 luv!!! renee....

You wont be single for long if you actually go for the type of man you describe and dont find every reason to file him as a "freind" once you find him.....as many women seem to do.

Thanks for the response and best of luck to you!!

MrBlak

very good topic i wanna hear more from the ladies stand point
on a good man that they seek or look for this getting enteresting !
nice one MrBlak............................................ ........................

Gretings, Family.

Let's see, I'm 33, and as one of my sistas mentioned in one of the previous posts, I do desire a GOD fearing man. I'm not saying one who is preaching to me, but one who stands firm in his beliefs in the Most High. A rock, if you will. Also, he must be honest. I can't tolerate lying for any reason. I'm not tripping on his job but he must have one. That's just real. He must be someone that I can respect and who respects me as well. I don't want to sit around all day just thinking of him naked and not retaining anything that he has said. LOL! He must respect the fact that I have a daughter, who lives with me, and is the top priority in my life. If he has children, I hope he gives them the same importance. I like a man who's his own man, and not what he thinks others want him to be. Be You. That will take you far with me.

You know, I've been thinking more on this topic and actually for me, it can be quite a scarey one and I'll tell you why. As I contemplate on the question I keep telling myself that I don't expect much of a man and you know what they say, if you don't expect much, then you always get what you expected. :oops: So I have to force myself to think of what my expectations of a man would be or at least what they really are.

Words like "kind", "generous", "gentle but firey-spirited", "confident", "well-adjusted and not egotistical or arrogant", "honest and trustworthy", "affectionate", "broad knowledged" and "afrocentric"--are what I think about.

Is that too much to ask of one person?

Queenie

Well, I'm 17. At this age you can't expect TOO much. I'm just looking for someone who has a job and can do for himself. I want a man, just like the next girl, who puts God and his family first in his life. I don't want a quiet man. I want someone who I feel comfortable talking to and who feels comfortable with me. I want a man who goes to school, this person doesn't necessarily have to make all A's, but this person does have to have goals as to what he wants to be. I want a man who surprises me with gifts for nothing. Brothas dez days don't do that too much but I guess I'm just a classic romantic freak with that one. I want a man who remembers everything I say and who brings it up in coversation every now and again. This lets me know he was listening and he cares. This type of thing is sincere to my heart and I'm sure the next woman too. It's things like that that makes a woman smile. I want a man who is demanding but not TOO demanding. I want a man to be a man and put his foot down some time. This doesn't have to be done but beating either. So many men get this confused. I want a man who just raises his voice and that lets me know he's for real. You know what I'm sayin'? Anyway, that's not to much to ask for. Every girl has their own type of man they seek to find and well that's my perfect man. (The man who is sitting next to me watching me write this) Well, to sum it all up, I just want a brotha who is REAL.

I'm 16 and when I do get of age to talk about a MAN these are the qualities I look for:
Educated,sense of humor,serious when needed to be,spontaneous,and can read his own mind....forget the man made laws and go by the universal
1.God Fearing
2.Able to commit
3.Real all honesty on the table,because I don't like cleaning a room full of dust and ants
4.Some kind of goal in life
5.If he's broke...he has to be trying to achieve something in his life
6.I believe in the family that prays together stays together...so I want a man that will be strong enough to hold me and him up
7.Treats his mother right
8.Good with people...how will he be good with me if he's not friendly
9.Understanding of my wants and needs
10.Unselfish
11.JUST TO BE HIMSELF.............

Thanks ladies for all these great responses!!!
I am paying attention as I gotta "step up" soon....I aint so young to be sittin around doing nothing like I am so I need all the knowledge on relationships and yall black womens' M.O. as I can get.

Thanks

MrBlak :toast:

Well, I'm 24. With one marriage behind me, I'm re-evaluating what i want from a man. I guess the key things I look for are honesty, a strong family background, a strong work ethic, and a love for Black people/culture. A lot of things are negotiable, but one that is NOT for any reason: he MUST be able to think for himself, be his own man.

oh, and probably the ideal man is one of those I stuck in the friend zone back in high school... so if y'all are out there, forgive me! LOL!

so, how come so many females end up with players, pimps, punks and losers?

is there a dis connect?

so, how come so many females end up with players, pimps, punks and losers?

is there a dis connect?

Speaking for myself, when a guy is nice, and sweet, and loveable.... And SINGLE.. you start to wonder why.. like, there has to be something wrong with him. And then you begin to create things, like, he's boring, he's too nice, he's to predictable... And you start to seek adventure... And end up with hoodlums.

Oh, and a lot of us get with "problem" men because we think we can "fix" them.

Your speeking some truth Toylin....thanks for your participation in my thread.

Not a problem.

I don't expect much but all I ask for is that he:

Loves God and Church
Respectful to his mother and me as well
Independent
Honest
Loyal

I'm 26 years old. I don't look for a man with money, nice car, or a good job. I love when you can be friends with a man first. He learns you, you learn him and together you have a good time. Honesty, humor, sense of style, gentle, but fierce. Ambitious, loyal, and the way you carry your attitude is beautiful. I love a man with a sense of history. I don't like people that believe life started with them. I want him to know God.

I'm in my early 20s, married with a kid. To be honest my marriage is on the rocks. At first, I wanted an intelligent man with a job who was honest, respectful and cared about me. Now, if I had the opportunity, I would like a man who trusts and believes in God and who is willing to treat my kid as his own. I don't care if he has a job or not, especially in these critical economic times, because God will provide us with everything we need. If he is truly committed to God, then everything else like honesty, loyalty, caringness, etc. will not be a problem; he'll know exactly how to treat me.

I'm in my early 20s, married with a kid. To be honest my marriage is on the rocks. At first, I wanted an intelligent man with a job who was honest, respectful and cared about me. Now, if I had the opportunity, I would like a man who trusts and believes in God and who is willing to treat my kid as his own. I don't care if he has a job or not, especially in these critical economic times, because God will provide us with everything we need. If he is truly committed to God, then everything else like honesty, loyalty, caringness, etc. will not be a problem; he'll know exactly how to treat me.

Thanks for the contribution but I am confused.....why do you feel that being religious would have save made him accept your children? Why is intelligence and treating you right less important that the type of relations a man has with god?

I am just curious becuase many god fearing men treat there woman like garbage and dont raise kids right or take responsibility....it is no garentee of a good man.

please get back....you are providing good info here.

Thanks Sangofa and Royal T for your posts.

Do you (sangofa) have any preference for personality types (alpha male, shy guy, laid back, intense ..... etc) ??

I want to take this time to welcome you to Destee.com. WELCOME :D

I see you've made yourself at home...that's beautiful. Think about becoming a Premium Member. I'm sure you will enjoy the benefits of being one.

Make sure you drop by voice chat http://www.destee.com/chat and visit us sometimes. Wednesday night at 9 pm ET would be great. The Family will be having another fabulous discussion with Mr. Neely Fuller, the author of the book partially entitled The United Independent Compensatory Code.... You can find his biography in the Open Forum if you want to know more about him. I'm sure you will enjoy the discussion as well. If you don't have a microphone, it's ok. You can get a desktop mic later and still enjoy the discussion with the Family on tomorrow night.

Enjoy everything that we have to offer...poetry...articles...discussions...and more.

I'm glad you're part of the Family.

:grouphug:

Thanks for the contribution but I am confused.....why do you feel that being religious would have save made him accept your children? Why is intelligence and treating you right less important that the type of relations a man has with god?

I am just curious becuase many god fearing men treat there woman like garbage and dont raise kids right or take responsibility....it is no garentee of a good man.

please get back....you are providing good info here.
I'm not saying that being religious would cause any man to treat other kids as his own, nor am I saying that him treating me with respect is less important. I'm just saying that at that time, I didn't really care if he was religious or not. If a man is TRULY committed to God and not just saying or pretending that he is, then him treating me with respect will be a given. Of course, we all know people who go to church every Sunday and who are at all of the church functions, but outside of church, they treat people, including themselves, like garbage. They are only "playing church" and pretending that they are committted. We know that they aren't truly committed because of their actions. Those actions are not of Him. Therefore, a truly committed person will not be like that. Don't get me wrong, nobody's perfect. There are just some things that you do and some things that you don't do if you believe, trust and obey Him and His Word like you're supposed to.

I'm not saying that being religious would cause any man to treat other kids as his own, nor am I saying that him treating me with respect is less important. I'm just saying that at that time, I didn't really care if he was religious or not. If a man is TRULY committed to God and not just saying or pretending that he is, then him treating me with respect will be a given. Of course, we all know people who go to church every Sunday and who are at all of the church functions, but outside of church, they treat people, including themselves, like garbage. They are only "playing church" and pretending that they are committted. We know that they aren't truly committed because of their actions. Those actions are not of Him. Therefore, a truly committed person will not be like that. Don't get me wrong, nobody's perfect. There are just some things that you do and some things that you don't do if you believe, trust and obey Him and His Word like you're supposed to.

Okay...thanks!
:spin: