Men do not understand this reality in our lives. Their response may be to poo poo it as an excuse for criminal behavior--the female version of "the devil made me do it." What can we do to help them understand the very real emotional impact Ladies' Week has on us and still maintain their respect? What can they do to help us ride the white horse with dignity?

Think about it, there is pre-menstrual stree, menstrual strese and post menstrual stress. That leaves only one week out of the whole month when we can reasonably be expected to behave reasonably. Something must be done. Ladies, put your heads together.

Hello Sister River ... Great Topic! :toast:

After first reading your words, i was a bit confused ... huh? ... what did Sister River just say?!!! ... but then i read it again ... and got all excited as my understanding became clearer!

I'm glad to be responding first, because my period is my friend! i love her! :love: i look forward to her arrival, we commune together, it is a peaceful and nice change of pace, our monthly visit together. I have never experienced cramps or the pre-menstrual stuff. As a matter of fact, she arrives so quietly, i'm often surprised when i notice she's here. Such a sweet guest.

When pregnant with my first child, i was told that labor pains are like really really really really really really :) bad cramps. That left me like before, still not knowing what the labor pains would be like! ... but i do know now! :eeek:

While this has been my experience with my dear darling friend, i realize it is not the same for others, so i look forward to the discussion.

How closely linked are menstration and menopause? Menopause has me a bit queezy, anticipating her arrival! :eeek: Matter of fact, i've been wanting to start a thread about her, so i'll just do that ... so we can keep this one focused.

Thanks Sister River ... for allowing me to introduce my friend to yall !!! :wave:

:heart:

Destee

Hello Sister River ... Great Topic! :toast:

After first reading your words, i was a bit confused ... huh? ... what did Sister River just say?!!! ... but then i read it again ... and got all excited as my understanding became clearer!

I'm glad to be responding first, because my period is my friend! i love her! :love: i look forward to her arrival, we commune together, it is a peaceful and nice change of pace, our monthly visit together. I have never experienced cramps or the pre-menstrual stuff. As a matter of fact, she arrives so quietly, i'm often surprised when i notice she's here. Such a sweet guest.

When pregnant with my first child, i was told that labor pains are like really really really really really really :) bad cramps. That left me like before, still not knowing what the labor pains would be like! ... but i do know now! :eeek:

While this has been my experience with my dear darling friend, i realize it is not the same for others, so i look forward to the discussion.

How closely linked are menstration and menopause? Menopause has me a bit queezy, anticipating her arrival! :eeek: Matter of fact, i've been wanting to start a thread about her, so i'll just do that ... so we can keep this one focused.

Thanks Sister River ... for allowing me to introduce my friend to yall !!! :wave:

:heart:

Destee

Destee Said: I'm glad to be responding first, because my period is my friend! i love her! :love: i look forward to her arrival, we commune together, it is a peaceful and nice change of pace, our monthly visit together. I have never experienced cramps or the pre-menstrual stuff. As a matter of fact, she arrives so quietly, i'm often surprised when i notice she's here. Such a sweet guest.

Oh my, do I envy you. Gurl I ain never heard nobody talk about their period like this. At first I thought you were joking, but you are serious aren't you?

Yes Yes Yes !!!!!! Of course i am serious !!!!!! :love:

God is my witness ... and i thank Him for her!

It is my hope that she is an indicator of how my experience with menopause will be.

If she is ... c'mon menopause ... let's do this thang! :birthday:

:heart:

Destee

:lol: @ If the supermarket is out of Essence magazine I take it personally

that is too funneee ... hahahaha ... :lol:

:heart:

Destee

Hey ladies....the "period" is my friend also.:bowdown: I stress when she doesn't show up, so I'm sympathetic to your situation. I know women's cycle that I deal with. When they tell me they started their period, they are amazed when I say something like "you're a couple of days late aren't you"? :peace:

Wonderful! wonderful! I hope this topic really flies.

Destee, you are the most blessed woman I have ever seen.

My friend never sneaks up on me. She sends her telegram a week in advance "Ready or not here I come!" I am blessed that my father and my Father taught me to stand back from my emotions and look at myself from a bird's eye view before opening my mouth or falling in love, otherwise I'd get a visit from the men in the long white coats.

Hey ladies....the "period" is my friend also.:bowdown: I stress when she doesn't show up, so I'm sympathetic to your situation. I know women's cycle that I deal with. When they tell me they started their period, they are amazed when I say something like "you're a couple of days late aren't you"? :peace:
I was wondering why the squirrels were asking about you. Now I know. Sugar, you are a nut :nuts:

My friend and I parted ways more than 10 years ago. It wasn't easy to see her leave but I was told that it was for the best. :bawling:

When we first met we struggled from the beginning. She arrived quietly at first but soon let her presence be known each month and I grew to not like her very much. When she came to visit she usually stayed much longer than her welcome and I celebrated whenever she left. That meant that I could do things I enjoyed doing that she stopped me from doing because she got in the way.

But as time passed, I began to understand her better and looked forward to her arrival each month with a breath of anxious anticipation. If she was late, I would send a telegram demanding to know what was taking her so long and when she finally arrived, I was relieved to see her and my life would be calm once again.

The time that she didn't show up at all, my daughter arrived 9 months later. When she returned, we were much calmer with each other and lived happily together until it was time for us to part and move on, going our separate ways.

It's sorta funny because in a way I miss her and in a way I don't. She's a fond memory now, she served her purpose well and now I must live out the rest of my life without her.

Peace,
Queenie :heart:

i be tired my first day- den afta dat im good- its like a visit from a friend- jus last a couple days- and then she gone.

i be tired my first day- den afta dat im good- its like a visit from a friend- jus last a couple days- and then she gone.


A couple of days.....that's beautiful.


:idea: Why am I constantly in this thread? :lol: :smash:

yeah it is- huh u tellin me- im grateful!

This one is obviously a woman's topic, if there ever was one. However, I never believed in PMS, because the women in my life don't have it. In 22 years of living with my parents, I never saw my mother acting stressed out and crazy (because of Aunt Flow's monthly visit). In 5 years being with my wife, she also has never lost her mind due to PMS. I have known some woman who had wild mood swings...supposedly because of "PMS"; however, these same women usually act kinda snotty 365 days out of the year anyway. I do know PMS is "scientifically proven"; however, I also know some scientist will say anything to get attention. :laugh: I don't know...maybe PMS is legit, but if it is...I am glad that my lady doesn't have it. Wild mood swings & nastiness is my #1 turnoff.

Aw Queenie,

Yep it's just like that. She has reduced me to tears over every little thing yet when she behaves herself and does what she is supposed to do no matter how much it hurts there's that feeling of all is well.

Daroc, been over at da postin' in Ebonics thread I see :shades:

River...just like you to go straight to the real...

First let me say that when my daughter first got her menstrual..My friends and I had a party for her...a celebration of "crossing" from girl to young lady. She was a little embarrassed at first , but as we told her stories and made her laugh (and groan) she moved away from it being "the curse".
I think that is one way to begin to get young girls seeing it as a positive ,important and womanly part of growing.
I knew when it was coming (since my body just retained water till i looked like a bubble)and was happy to see it leave.. I definitely had mood swings, but (thanks to my mother) i knew it was just part of the cycle of things and didn't get caught up in the stress..I accepted and enjoyed my womanhood. And, yes, didn't always like having it(especially in the summer) but we didn't have the terms PMS,etc..so we/i found ways to find humor and joy and everything else during that week (for me it was more than a week! it was eight days without fail and the blood pressure would drop down to nothing)

You will notice i said had...I am waiting for Destee to start the menopause thread..cause i can definitely talk about that...just remember destee, no wait we must have a womens private chat...no men entering...somethings are not for them to hear.. or see!.It should be one on ne..now if they want to do research they can...but even then, it just isn't all written down...for menstrual or meno.. nor even voice chat because somone other than the ones listening can hear it....for me this is where technology and the human connection truly are apart..

Yes, I was thinking about that. The brothahs do read in this forum so there is still a limit to how much of our hair we can let down. Is it possible for Destee to make forums where people are allowed based on the gender they enteredd when they register or maybe assign male and female administrative assistants to give permissions to members to their respective forums--a place where we can walk around in our victoria's secrets and the brothahs can walk around in their fruit of the looms?

River...just like you to go straight to the real...

First let me say that when my daughter first got her menstrual..My friends and I had a party for her...a celebration of "crossing" from girl to young lady. She was a little embarrassed at first , but as we told her stories and made her laugh (and groan) she moved away from it being "the curse".
I think that is one way to begin to get young girls seeing it as a positive ,important and womanly part of growing.
I knew when it was coming (since my body just retained water till i looked like a bubble)and was happy to see it leave.. I definitely had mood swings, but (thanks to my mother) i knew it was just part of the cycle of things and didn't get caught up in the stress..I accepted and enjoyed my womanhood. And, yes, didn't always like having it(especially in the summer) but we didn't have the terms PMS,etc..so we/i found ways to find humor and joy and everything else during that week (for me it was more than a week! it was eight days without fail and the blood pressure would drop down to nothing)

You will notice i said had...I am waiting for Destee to start the menopause thread..cause i can definitely talk about that...just remember destee, no wait we must have a womens private chat...no men entering...somethings are not for them to hear.. or see!.It should be one on ne..now if they want to do research they can...but even then, it just isn't all written down...for menstrual or meno.. nor even voice chat because somone other than the ones listening can hear it....for me this is where technology and the human connection truly are apart..

:lol: Sister deepy you are funny. I would love to join you in a discussion of menopause because sooner or later, we're all gonna go through it...the women that is. I'm told that daughters can look to their mothers if they want to know what their experiences will be. For me, that's really scarey! :driveby:

Queenie :)

Pryer to my girlfriend visiting I become very exhausted. Sometimes I even develope an unnatural desire to eat all that I can depending on which path she chooses to travel.

Once she arrives a lost of appetite comes into play. Although she rarely cramps my style, she travels lightly and her stay is very short, I still anticipate her departure.

Depending on the road she travels her arrival can take up to two days, and the need to stretch and bend out the ruff edges is most suitable. Sometimes she even gets a little excited by the change of her environment and a little chocolate helps her to settle in.

I never known her to raise a fit unless some transitional changes were going on, Other than that, you could almost forget that she is there.

Well I feel very good right now. I think I am growing up. Girlie came yesterday and she brought her whole crew with her. Today an extremely upsetting thing happened at Church. I almost broke down in tears but I did not. I almost marched out the door but I did not. I was sorely tempted to tell the pastor that I would not be coming back but I did not. Instead I prayed and put it in God's hands and He sent the right people for me to talk to. I am happy. I believe this situation will be resolved without a lot of drama.

Weelll Sistahs
Let me tell you about my so called friend of 15 years. I can't stand her! Why? She tells me she's coming about a week before she arrives and it makes me nausious. When she arrives she stabs me in the abdomen with strong force and most of the time Advil or Motrin can't stop the pain. We have been fighting the entire time that I have known her. :smash: A few times when we faught in highschool and elementry and she actually knocked me out;when I came to in the nurses office I would start vomiting from the pain in my stomach. I get so depressed when she's coming that I eat EVERYTHING in sight, I get angry about little things, I hate and love everybody at the same time, I have back pains and look pregnant. She comes so strong that I have to get on the pill or Depo shot to calm her down. I am truly getting tired of her because she is ugly, messy, expensive and to think she only comes for only 3 days. As a matter of fact she is here now. :peace:

Aisha

Awe Aisha! I am truly sorry
that your friend is so mean!

Have you tried putting a warm
pack against your abdomin
when she tells you that
she'll be visiting soon?

Sometimes she just needs
a little warmth to welcome
her home.

Thanks for the advice PurpleMoons but the heat makes me sick for some reason. Pathetic Huh. :)

No sis not pathetic at all!
Maybe its something you
can add to your diet that
will help!

Hopefully someone will come
along with some great suggestions!

Well i will say this....
I dont like her she dont feel like a friend to me
and the week before my kids probably
want me to go on vaction,
for that matter anyone around might be thinking
they need a vaction from me.... :crying:

After dealing with a woman Debra and Shannon, during their Ladies Weeks, I completly understand what is happening. Right now Debra is in her most aggrevating state, but I think that is due to Pre-menopausal stages and the fact that she releases emotional energy based upon her new body changes. Also couple that with a woman who has Fribroid Tumors and is preparing for surgery and is anemic, and you get an emotional rollercoaster.

Example:

She got irate at me because I did not know where the pads were.

LOLLLLLLL

However with that said, I do try to hang around and assist during this period, I realize that she needs help and the best child I can be is the one who does not abandon ship during one of her critical times of need.

Usually during my two goddesses week, is when I politely put up a sign in my life that says:

"Out to Lunch Until Next Week, please call if you need assistance"

However, I understand what a woman goes thru and I even got the skills enough to detect the way certain thangs and flow, and I can even buy them thangs if you use em, so I guess you can say Debra raised me right.

This was a great thread River. I hope more brothers get a chance to read and respond.

It's weird because I never knew when my mom or sister had theirs. but I have some female friends and I seem to be able to tell when they are having their periods. One of my friends gets really sensitive and she cries about the littliest things. Everything is an issue. She's a real baby. Then I have a friend that get's depressed and sad and nothing cheers her up long-term. I agree MANASIAC....sometimes I have to put up that sign because like Popeye used to say, :flame: "that's all I can stand, I can't stands no more". :flame: I have to jump ship sometimes. I'll only get in the way if I stay. Like panafrica said though........I don't know if PMS is scientifically proven or not. Maybe it's just a reason to yell on people and justify it. Just playin ladies.

Sister Aisha...I can definitely relate. When my friend first arrived, she was quiet that very first day. I said, "Oh, hello, and how are you?" She'd say, "Fine, just thought you oughta know, I'll be around for a while, and the next time, I'll be announcing my arrival." Hmmmmm....what, pray tell, did she mean by that?

Well, I soon found out...month in and month out...the little angel turned into a full blown, bona-fide "B" every 28 days! :flame: Your stomach and back would hurt soooo bad, you'd wallow and moan and groan. Your breasts would be sensitive, you'd be lethargic and didn't want to do much of anything but sleep. Just the sight of a man would make your eyes glaze over.... :bazooka:

Midol? HA! Your guts would laugh at you... :lol: your muscles would say, "ut oh...here she goes, she's trying those pills again--everybody tense up!! :bawling:

People advised you to try to ignore it, exercise, drink hot tea, use a hot compress on your stomach...which you all tried, but the pain would only return in FULL FORCE!! :mad: :eek:

But recent studies have shown that PMS is legitimate and real and guess what? It comes in varying degrees from mild to extremely severe. The severe type need prescribed medication to control--women can suffer from uncontrollable rage and many have killed spouses and boyfriends during this phase. But mood swings are the norm and there are several homeopathic treatments (using natural herbs) available to women to calm the affects.

It can be a painful experience, but it's all a part of being a woman and so we shouldn't be faulted for something that is a part of our natural make-up.

IMO--Queenie :spinstar:

My friend and I have fought some long, and tiring battles. Back in middle school and high school, she used to make me sick. Literally. Vomiting, nausea, headaches.. everything! Once I turned 18, it all went away, magically. Usually she's come visit, bring her friend Cramps, who would only stay for a day, then my friend wuld leave about 4 days later. Since I gave birth, my friend's visits have been blissfully short and pain-free. I still get the urge to consume everything saltly and edible, though. *shrugs*

I had a girlfriend that used to eat lemons with salt on it:lips: when it was that time of the month. Why does that seem to work? That's weird.

I guess I'm a lot like Destee.

I have never had cramps and therefore have never resented my monthly visitor. I actually feel the most sexy when my period is down...I have no explaination for that, but I tend to wear the sexiest under clothes and really nice business attire during that time.

Now that I've reached the ripe young age of 37, I notice I do get bloated more than I have in the past, but it is only for 36 hours prior to the visit. My friend stays for 4 days and I'm ready for the world again. When the water retention is at it's peak I can be irritable, but that is the only sympton of PMS I've ever had...and it's the only sign I get that my period is coming.

When I went into labor, that was the first time in life that I ever understood what a cramp was...and I was THANKFUL I didn't have to suffer with it monthly.

My daughter gets cramps bad. I tell her to watch what she eats 4 days prior to her period...increasing fruits and veggies & avoiding simple starches keeps her from getting bad cramps.

Hey sister Carrie :wave:
You might want to tell your daughter to also reduce her caffine and salt intake. That helped me some when I was younger. Also try massaging her lower back just right above her hip. Someone did that to me once and my cramps stopped immediatley but came back a few minutes after they stopped. Hope that helps her. Poor girl, I've been there. :spin:


Aisha

I have it really bad:crying:

I cry at the drop of hat! I am also short tempered and cramping very badly.
I have endometriosis and it's not a good feeling at all.
herbal tea or Remi maybe both!

I'm finding that self-knowledge really helps. When I was in the Church I'd go through the most debilitating depression every month. Somebody could walk across the room and something about the way they walked I would see as proof that I was a waste of good shin who crawled into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

But my teachers here and my wise anunt Shirley helped me to see that those feelings are completely under my control. I could be in the throws of the strongest feeling but if I just stop and say what is today? Oh I know where this feeling is coming from.

Shoot, girl I am on rightnow. I have not cried or yelled at anyone. Last week seemed like everthing was going wrong--I heard something crash but paid it no attention. Then I lost the book my teacher gave us an assignment out of and the computer I connect to the class network on stopped responding to the keyboard. When I got back to my room I discovered the crash I'd heard was a mirror falling and breaking.

The rush of depression will try to come back and it will in full force if I let it. But I recognized it for what it was and as a result I had a very good week.

This has been a public service message brought to you by Da River

I do not view the "emotional" changes that come with PMS as being a bad thing unless it is unreasable and destroying relationships.

To me nature doesn't make mistakes... I think that special time was designed as a woman's way of being more in touch with her spiritual side. It is to help her know what she needs to do to make her life better. I know for me PMS, pregnancy, etc. have never created any "new" feelings... it just makes me more sensitive to things that were already bothering me. When I'm not in that state I would probably just ignore it.

Our perception of the time of the month is not the most healthy, in my opinion. There have been other cultures to praise this aspect of life and acknowledge its spiritual benefits. I think things would be a lot better if American culture could too.

I think truly PMS is a learned behaviour.. like anxiety attacks or something. So i partially agree with pan. The only effect ive ever had was horried cramping.. so bad id black out. but... nothing my dr. anint fix with a shot when i was having these episodes.. now im here.... on depo.. cause it was the only thing i could do.. poison my body to reclaim my life. I dont have a period anymore.. but i do know when im supposed to... the little flutterings of ur uterus.. or tense lower back. Ive ever had the stress... or mood swings.. neither has my mother... I think the more "mature" ladies on here may have the stress because they aint gettin none.. thatd make me pissed.. lol.. but also.. as women we want every little mmt to be attended to... if ur man aint givin u that intimacy ... the cuddlin, kissin.. n such,. and brushes u off like a piece of lint id be pissed too.... but pms usually is a reason to let all the things that has been bothering you out.. and you get them off your chest.. and then you belittle it by saying pms.. ladies stand up.. speak ur mind.. u dont need pms.

I am very different from everybody
During "Ladies' week", I'm just sleepy all the time.
I don't cramp,get headaches, or anything like that.
I'm just sleepy at during that time.

I think truly PMS is a learned behaviour.. like anxiety attacks or something. So i partially agree with pan. The only effect ive ever had was horried cramping.. so bad id black out. but... nothing my dr. anint fix with a shot when i was having these episodes.. now im here.... on depo.. cause it was the only thing i could do.. poison my body to reclaim my life. I dont have a period anymore.. but i do know when im supposed to... the little flutterings of ur uterus.. or tense lower back. Ive ever had the stress... or mood swings.. neither has my mother... I think the more "mature" ladies on here may have the stress because they aint gettin none.. thatd make me pissed.. lol.. but also.. as women we want every little mmt to be attended to... if ur man aint givin u that intimacy ... the cuddlin, kissin.. n such,. and brushes u off like a piece of lint id be pissed too.... but pms usually is a reason to let all the things that has been bothering you out.. and you get them off your chest.. and then you belittle it by saying pms.. ladies stand up.. speak ur mind.. u dont need pms.

For me it is a remarkable difference in how I feel emotionally. Sometimes these feelings are more spiritual... during pregnancy or PMS I tend to think more about that for some reason along with getting a wealth of creative ideas for things. Other times it's getting more depressed or angry at something and having more nerve to address the situation.

For me it is a remarkable difference in how I feel emotionally. Sometimes these feelings are more spiritual... during pregnancy or PMS I tend to think more about that for some reason along with getting a wealth of creative ideas for things. Other times it's getting more depressed or angry at something and having more nerve to address the situation.
That is a deeply spiritual time, sista karma. Our man Amen says that a woman is attracting a lot of sublunar energy at that time. I haven't the foggiest idea what sublunar energy is.

thats normal.. thats me.. its comes from being aneimic.


I am very different from everybody
During "Ladies' week", I'm just sleepy all the time.
I don't cramp,get headaches, or anything like that.
I'm just sleepy at during that time.

That is a deeply spiritual time, sista karma. Our man Amen says that a woman is attracting a lot of sublunar energy at that time. I haven't the foggiest idea what sublunar energy is.

:thinking: lol Personally, nothing distinctive happens during but before I get ummmm...
:luvv:---> :kiss:--> :hearts4: ---> :idea: ---> :nuts: ---> :love: ---> :couple: ---> :bellyd: ---> :luv: ---> :nuts: ---> :hearts3: ---> :massage: ---> :kiss1: ---> :flirt:
During... my emotions peak... when I am happy I'm ecstatic, when I'm sad I'm ecstatic, when I'm confused I'm ecstatic... :thinking: so yeah! lol

:thinking: lol Personally, nothing distinctive happens during but before I get ummmm...
:luvv:---> :kiss:--> :hearts4: ---> :idea: ---> :nuts: ---> :love: ---> :couple: ---> :bellyd: ---> :luv: ---> :nuts: ---> :hearts3: ---> :massage: ---> :kiss1: ---> :flirt:
During... my emotions peak... when I am happy I'm ecstatic, when I'm sad I'm ecstatic, when I'm confused I'm ecstatic... :thinking: so yeah! lol
You're just an ecstatic woman, sista triniti:)

You Ladies' had me thinking there was an event called Ldies' Week somewhere that I wasn't invited to...but then I caught on with the "white horse" comment.
My period and I have a love-hate relationship. I hate when she's around but I love what she represents. She is my personal sign that the body I so often take for granted is miraculous---even if it only lasts a few days a month. But during that time, my body readies itself to give life and if no life is conceived--the decorations are taken down and discarded and she readies for the next possible bash.
The cramps lay me low but I think some women use Lady's Week as an excuse to be "hags-on-rags". Don't come at me wrong becuase you feel bloated, or crampy, or whatver cuz I got my own bloat and cramps to deal with.
As far as the fellas are concerned, how they deal with it is on them. Just as how we deal their "seasons" (baseball, basketball, and football) is on us, right Ladies? ............................. :grouphug: