This story is not indeed a true story, but the implications can happen to anyone we know. Rather its a friend, family member or even to our selves. There was once a girl about I'll say 16 or 17. The average ages for anything happening. We'll call her Crystal. She had a best friend, Danielle, whom she trusted so much. Even told about a boy, Tucker, in school she had a crush on. Now, her friend was leading her on and trying to convince her that the boy didn't feel the same way. "He's jus' a playa jus' like all the other ones", she would tell her. But as persistent as Crystal was, she kept trying and trying to get his attention in anyway. The usual. Accidentally dropping things, engaging in a conversation while in the hall and even went so far to join the Track team to be closer to him.
One day, Tucker decided to tell Crystal that he had feelings for her and asked her on a date. Crystal was so happy, she decided to tell Danielle. She went off the wall when she found out about what happened. Crystal's thoughts raced the entire time she was getting ready. "What will we do? Where will we go? What is his intentions to be with me?". They went to the movies and to a restaurant. While Tucker was driving Crystal home, he decided to drive to his house. Supposingly forgotten something. He asked Crystal to come inside, telling her his parents weren't at home. Then one thing lead to another and no details are needed. Crystal coudn't stop thinking about Tucker. All the thinbgs he said to her. "I love you. You're the only girl for me. I will never hurt you". Crystal and Danielle's relationship was broken up because of it. Crystal could't understand why Danielle couldn't accept the idea of her being with Tucker.
Then, while Crystal was walking down the hall, she noticed Danielle talking to Tucker, yelling and upset. Then she seen Crystal and left. She went to Tucker to asked what happened. He laughed it off and said, "She's jus being your friend. Jealous or something". He gave her a hug and kiss, telling her everything was fine. For the next few days, Crystal was feeling and sick and couldn't understand why. She decided to secretly buy a pregnancy test. Two for just in case. She used the first and was tested positive. Tested with the second, said the same thing. She was so scared and had to tell tucker about it. Tucker was in complete denial. "I was the only person I was with", Crystal said. Tucker told her that he couldn't take care of it.
Crystal told Danielle about it. "I told you, Crystal. You wouldn't listen to me. He played you, he played you, he played you". Crystal didn't know what to do. She had no other way of taking care of the baby without her parent's help. She wound up quitting the track team to get a job. Even stop talking to Tucker. One day, she was walking down the hall when she over heard Tucker in a conversation with the other boys. "Yeah, man I got the both of them. They fell for the oldest trick in the book. That's how a playa survives in the game". She couldn't believe her ears. "What did he mean by the both of us?". Then, Danielle popped in her mind. "Could he have been with her, too?". She went to tell Danielle about what happened. She started to break down and cry. "I'm so sorry Crystal but I didn't wana tell you". "Tell me what?". "Tucker and I have seen each other about a year and a half ago. He convinced me that i was his only girl, he loved me and alot of things. One day, I went to his house to get something and convinced me to have sex with him". The same trick Crystal fell for. It was the same time that Danielle missed alot of days of school. "I wound up getting an abortion. He didn't even care about it. A couple days later, he wound up with another one of his flings". Crystal couldn't believe what she heard. Now she is pregnant. She keep her baby and eventually told her parents about the situation.

There isn't always a happy ending. The only question is what will happen to Tucker? Should he be punished for what he did? Will Crystal and Danielle become friends? How will Crystal's life be changed? These questions are up to the reader.

*This is my first short story on the forum. I'm not sure whether or not if its appropriate. I need alot of help. What should i do next time for writing a short story?*

it takes courage 2 put ur work out here like tht & ask 4 feedbk. u r 2 b commended 4 getting past the 'thinkin bout it' stage of story writing. that's y i say, congratulations to u.

i liked ur story & it comes from the hrt & from whas happenin right now all ova the place.

"I'm not sure whether or not if its appropriate"

absolutely it was appropriate. i liked the way u managed 2 avoid a lot of curse words n ur story (actually, not even 1). also, n general, i wld say, f a topic is important 2 u & close 2 ur hrt, as this one seems 2 b, it is prob important 2 other ppl as well.

"I need alot of help. What should i do next time for writing a short story?"

actually, all writers nd a lot of help, :laugh: . som of them kno it & som don't. i can't tell u what u 'should do' 4 ur next story, but i'd like 2 offer a few suggestions.

i think the beauty of writing is written out, f tht makes any sense. u somewhat condensed ur story 4 us via explanations of what had happened or what was going 2 happen n the future. u cn develop ur writing techniques & keep the reader n suspence by letting the story develop & play out b4 their eyes, allowing them time 2 anticipate a variety of possible outcomes.

1 other suggestion: consider adding a little mor depth 2 ur characters, at least ur main character. b4 the reader becomes concerned about the outcome, they must hv something invested n2 1, or more, of the characters n the story. what does crystal look like physically? does she liv n a mansion or n the projects? how does where she lives & what she looks like impact the course she chooses w her 'boyfriend'? what is her relationship like w her parents? schoolmates? teachers? is she a model student or rebellious & marginal? giv her a personality, so we kno whether 2 luv her or hate her, etc. this is also a way of adding complexity or 'layering' 2 ur story. do u c what i'm trying 2 say?

i hope u don't take this as n any way discouraging or mean spirited cause i don't mean it tht way @ all. f u don't find these suggestions useful, jus ignore them please, but whateva u do, please keep writing b/c the potential is there.

enjoyed the :read:

Thank you so much, Alkebulan for the advice. I will take this to heart. I am not discouraged, it actually inspires me write more short stories. This is my first appearance in the column. So, I was a bit nervous about posting this story here. Once again thank you so much.

this was a great story i really like it
and you did a wonderful job in the creativity
congratulation on the first break through
please continue to release the gift u pose here
in and as a writter u did well lil sistah

Eisha you are better than mostly half of the people who claim they are writers.

You simply wrote something.

Do you know how many folks claim to be writers and do not write?

Keep doing your thang we are behind you 100 percent!

Thank you RICH and MANASIAC for all the love. I will continue to post more stories in the forum.

this is a wonderful story Eshia
yes keep on writing
and you are getting some wonderful advice
my dear:) keep writing :):):)
Peace~N~Love
BlueWater:heart:

:heart: Thank you, Bluewater my mother. I will continue writing. :heart:

I agree with everone your off to a good start keep it up!!

:heart: Thank you, Love Child. I will continue to write. :heart: