at what age do u think it is appropriate for UR daughter to be having sex?

my kid- lil sis - has been having sex for a while since she was like 15( she jus turned 16). i dont kno the true reasons behind y, but there are past years of abuse. her father, who is a single parent, recently found out that she has been having sex and is extremely dissapointed and upset, which is natural. i requested to speak to her, but her dad has basically cut all forms of communication. in my opinion that is only going to make things worst, but that is not my child , and i cannot tell a parent what to do. plus her dad is a cop... and monitors everything she does (everything)
but neways...they( he dad and step mother - who lives else where) are treated this as if she has a chronic disorder or somin- like she has a diseasel- and needs professional help. i think she might need help- counselling- due to her past abuses- but i also believe that if someone wants to do something (have sex)- they will.and expecially- kids love breakin rules set for them. and never did she seem to me that she wasn't the one wantin it- like a guy was forcing her.
i dont want to see my kid sis endin up wit an std or a child...but i dont want her to feel like sex is not natural( even tho she is only 16) and the things she has done were wrong ( b/c then she will feel "wrong"). cuz everyone makes mistakes and does things for the wrong reasons at one pt in life.

so back to my question...when do u think it is appropriate for ur daughter to be having sex.... and would you want to kno after the matter has evolved..or in its early stages. also..any advice to me in helping her understand and get through this time when her dad is pissed- when she feels lost? i dont want to encourage her to continue what she is doing...but i dont want to shun her like a criminal....

My daughter is an adult now, so she makes her own decisions regarding sex.

However, I would not tolerate her having sex while a minor. And I would be like this father, upset.

Sex can lead to pregnancy and STDs or AIDS. People seem to forget that.

14 and 15 year old girls need to be focused on their education. When they mess around with these boys, and if they get pregnant, there's a 95% chance that the boy will dump them. When I was a teenager, so many times I've heard boys badmouthing girls who "gave it up".

Nobody is promoting waiting until marriage these days. If a young man my son's age is NOT having sex, he's called a homo. My son is 19 and a virgin by choice. He does not want to sleep around with some girl who has a high chance of ruining his life forever.

AIDS is striking teenagers at a high rate these days. I have not encouraged my kids to have sex and I don't run to the store to get condoms for them. Women have argued with me about putting my daughter on the pill when she turned 13 "because you know they are going to have sex". NOT true! There are some young people who are abstinent. And it's not a sin if they don't have sex.

I'm not for encouraging kids to have sex. I might not sound "politically correct" but when it comes down to my relationship with God, who forbids sex outside of marriage, I have told my daughter that sex belongs inside marriage....period.

thanx vj57

even tho u r right... my kid sis gets good grades and doesnt break any other rules her father has set for her. and the guys that she is/has sleepin wit r her age..16
that doesnt make it betta but she is not jus a girl sleepin around

and about puting ur child on the pill.... my mother never urged me to have sex, however she put me on it at 16ish to kno that if any thing does happen i will be atleast partially protect. that didnt make me run and go sleep around- it acually gave me responsibility- b/c it showed that my mother trusted me to protect myself. we have an open relationship- sometomes i think too open- but i dont see allot of my friends will relationships like this with their parents.
i kno there is no book out there that teaches a parent how to raise there child the right way- so mistakes are bound to be made- but do u think that a parent is afraid to give their child guidance, leway, trust, responsibility, advice, and instructions on these important topics in life due to their own insecurites or is it b/c they always kno better?

jus a question vj57- would u rather ur child have protected sex and u kno about it b/c yall discussed it- and u assisted in the protection-or- not knowin whether its protected or not- cuz yall havent discussed it - i think it is one thing to turn ur nose up at sex- thats ok- but to not think about the what ifs- and be safe- jus in case- is kinda odd- ( i hope that makes sense)

jus lookin for help to understand where parents come from.....

I understand what you are say, Daroc, but just the same I wasn't naive in thinking that my daughter wouldn't.

I was raised differently by a mother who encouraged it and to this day, it hurts at times. I didn't want no involvement with men, but to focus on my education, which I did. She encouraged me to be with older men which I didn't do.

I remember the time I was sitting at a table enjoying a good book when this guy who was in our home began to harrass me, telling me I should get my head out of the book and learn how to be a woman. When he touched me, I slapped the hell out of him. He was older, ugly and smelled like booze, but he was willing to give me money.

I promised myself that my daughter would not be raised that way. I would encouage her to focus on her education. Don't get me wrong...we had very candid and open talks about sex. And she saw for herself the results of girls having sex as teens...pregnancies, girls being abandoned by their boyfriends or being spoken of in negative terms.

A boy who messes around with girls is called a lover and is encouraged to have sex at an early age. There have been fathers who took their sons to prostitutes to make a MAN out of them. Even my son's father said that when our son turned 13, he would get him with a woman. I laid him out and at the time my son turned 13, he wasn't even in his life.

My daughter was not allowed to hang out late at night. I gave her other activities to keep her focused. And getting her on the pill...to me that is giving her a license to have sex. And even those women who fussed at me for not putting her on the pill...their daughters were put on the pill and STILL got pregnant at 14 or 15...every LAST one of them!

I also told my daughter that she would foot the responsibility IF she messed around and got pregnant. Meaning that I would NOT raise a grandchild! I stared her straight in the face when I said this and my kids know that I'm no joke! I'm nearly 47 years old, single, and I'm not raising grandkids.

We have to keep in mind that the pill does not prevent sexual diseases that are out there. It can take one time to mess up your life.

The same speech has been given to my son. We have a loving pastor at our church who mentors my son and advises him, according to God's word, that sex is beautiful and best reserved for marriage. There are young girls who are always up in my son's face - he's a very handsome young man. But these girls are 14 - 16 and some of them already have babies! And why should he put his life in danger with these girls? They had unprotected sex! And in our area, HIV/AIDS is extremely HIGH! The state of DE ranks HIGH in this disease.

Waiting until marriage (for both couple) will guarantee no disease. I will not promote having sex before marriage now that I'm a Christian, and that goes for me, too. I did so in the past out of ignorance, but repented. NOW I know the truth and no ding ding without the ring ring here.

I might not sound "politically correct" but I don't care. God is not into what's "politically correct".

I guess my past angered me enough to want my kids to have a different outcome. Another thing that affected me was a friend whose mother SOLD her to a man at the age of 12. The man was OLD and the girl didn't want to go that route. I saw the pain in her face because she wanted to be a young girl with dolls and not a baby.

I hear you both on the matter. Vj57 You are a very fortunate mom. Your experiences have taught you a valuable lesson and you in turn have taught your children. Unfortunately not all children listen to the message that their parents give them. Some still venture out inspite of what you tell and teach them. For these children that do, I will tell them that if you decide to go against what I tell you, You must protect yourself. Condoms, birth controls is a must! They are aware of the possibilities that they can become pregnant/get someone pregnant. They are aware of the diseases that are out here but somehow some still take the hard road. As individuals we all have a path to walk. Every path will have some type of effect. As a parent all we can really do is teach them the difference from right and wrong. We can't live their life for them not matter how much we want to sometimes. But we can provide them with the information they will need and pray to GOD that he watch over them and guide them safely home. There's a old saying that I once heard, It goes something like this; You can lead a cow to the waters, but you can't make it drink. When all else fail, as a parent, what else can you do?

thanks vj57 and purplemoons... both angles helped

purplemoons: sometimes i feel like parents dont always understand that they can't controll their childs actions until a problem happens.

my mom taught us wrong from right, and she did a good job, and my older brother got pretty much str8 a's in school, and always held a job=- and all the while was selling drugs under her house with out her knowing-until he got caught

i understand help is always needed- and that is what most of us sometimes need to change- but it does always stop/change a persons actions- and i gues that is learned with trail and error

are parents scarred to let thier children makes their own mistakes....or like i said- do they always kno better?

and b/c this situation was mainly a father/ daughter thing- hopefully i can get some advice or the viewpoint of the men out there- come on family
even tho a womans point of view is helpful as well

I have 3 girls and the only time I would feel comfortable with them having sex is if they were married. Sex is something you have to be prepared for emotionally and mentally. I had sex as a teen and I was in no way prepared for it. There are things that I'm dealing with as a result of having sex, one being a baby..a 11 year old baby now....
I thank God I didn't catch a STD because there where kids doing the same thing I was @ my high school who are gone today from complications with AIDS. Like you said, if they want to have sex, they will find a way to. All you can do is inform her on the risks and consequences.
Good Luck with your little sister, I hope for the best :grouphug:

to me once they reach 17 it's hard to fine a young lady who not
having sex at this time most become ready to venture into sexuality
but 18 they are young adults anytime before that would be out the question
and yes i would like to know to asure them the right safety and how to be
protected from STD and AIDS and all the others that can be harmful
if a parent build a trust worthy bond and open relationship with the child
their will be nothing they would be afraid to take about ......
surely we want to think about when we all first started and many may have
started very early in age and don't want the child to make the same mistake
but at 15 , 16 sexual contact should not be at this point kids should be
more into the books and what career mark they are going to take in life
many parents teach the value of life and when sex is a time to venture into .

I was attending a meeting at a church years ago and took my daughter. The guest speaker was my gynecologist, a black brother who I felt was an expertise in his field and had the concerns of women at heart.

The doctor said that we as Christian parents wish that our children would save sex for marriage. But we have to be realistic that many times this will not happen.

He was seeing too many young girls getting pregnant at very early ages, such as 11 and how it impacted their lives.

Of course he recommended birth control pills and condoms, but mainly he advised us parents to talk to our children and encourage them to talk to us.

One white lady at my job told me recently that she had a good rapport with her daughters. And when her 17 year old came to her and told her that she felt she was going to have sex and wanted to be put on the pill, she was upset, but complied with it. And the girl, who is now in her 30s, still does not have children out of her personal choice.

My friend said she wanted to "spazz out", but she realized that at least her daughter came to her.

My daughter is 24 and has a guy living with her. I'm not in agreement with this, but she's an adult and has the right to make her own decisions. I mainly disapprove because the man is living on her and seems to be unreliable.

We talked yesterday and she told me that she was glad I was strict with her, not letting her hang out at night and putting both of them under curfews. I had told my daughter that I was not putting her on the pill because I'm not giving her a license to have sex. She shared with me that one of her buddies had about four abortions during her school years and was supposed to be taking the Pill. And she knew of other girls on the Pill who eventually got pregnant.

My daughter did go on the Pill at age 17 and this was due to irregular periods that still plague her. When her father found her pills, he was upset, but she calmly explained to him about her periods. Her stepmother called me and I told her that was true and that upon the examination she was still a virgin. (She was taking a low dosage pill).

I refused to get her on the pills except for the irregular periods. I'm thankful that she did at least listen to me and people who argued that I was too strict now see the wisdom behind what I did.

I think the key is to have regular discussions with your children. When they become of age where the can understand certain issues. Include them in on the discussions.

My eldest daughter will be 20yrs old this year and she is still a virgin. Although I was'nt very strict with her, She just was one of those children that you could trust to do the right thing.

She always abided by my rules. I had her at 18yrs young and I was the complete opposite of her. Well, not that much the opposite. LOL But, I talked with her alot and pointed out to her the things that were happening around us as we grew up. I explained them as they were happening right before our eyes.

My mother loved me dearly, as most mother's love their children but we did'nt have open discussions about issues that were going on in my neighborhood. Her mother died in the south when she was a very young girl and her father just supplied the food and shelter while she raised her four brother's the best way she new how for a child her age. I understood this and this was the reason why I raised my daughter with open discussions. I was a sheltered child. Imagine that growing up in the ghetto. :confused: heck, I did'nt even know what oral sex was until I was sixteen and a boy asked me if I have oral sex. Stupidly, I said yes and he said to me, well, if you do me, I'll do you! Sister, I was shocked when I realized what he was asking me. I ran away from him so fast, I must have left a trail of smoke behind me. LOL

But as parents, we should discuss the issues that go on in our neighborhood with our children. Make them aware of the issues. Set-up a foundation for support and openness. One of the worst things we can do as parents is instill the notion that children should been seen and not heard. They are little people with feelings and questions. They do have a voice.

I got two more along with my two nieces to raise. I pray that the creator guides me so that I can guide them to be responsible adults. Lord knows I need all the support I can get. They are growing up in a different age than when I grew up and people are more bold with their cruelty and neglect. I always ask the creator to bless me with strength, knowledge, and wisdom.

Lord knows I need it! :nuts:

thanks for all the support and advice

im glad i am fortunate enough to have an open relationship with my mother- but sometimes i think she forgets- that kids cant alwys tell all- it hhas helped me allot( being that im the only girl)

i understand what u r sayi about the pill- vj57- but it goes back to my question- would u rather not kno?

and jus b/c its given out doesnt mean that its being taken- many kids are naive to think they can take it when they feel like it and it still works

i guess it all depends on the individual


They are growing up in a different age than when I grew up and people are more bold with their cruelty and neglect.
allot of parents dont realize times have changed ...and i think that holds them back sometimes..

but thanks agian for helping me understand where parents come from- hopefully when(if) i have kids i will kno what to do

Parents need to realize that NOT every kid is having sex. My grandniece was so angry at her mother for demanding that she go on the pill. She wasn't even interested in boys at the age of 16. She was an honor student and focused on her studies.

Sometimes the children feel pushed into having sex. If you have a good rapport with your kids, there's a good possibility that they will listen.

My son refused condoms from my niece. He told her bluntly that he didn't need condoms if he's not having sex. She thought him QUEER for being a virgin at 19.

I wish people would stop condemning a young man or woman for retaining their virginity. They are not GAY or LESBIAN because they are not having sex. When I was celibate for a long time, my sexuality was questioned. I didn't care - for I would tell you off if you dared questioned me.

I know one woman who NEVER had sex with a man and she's 48. Just never desired it. And not a lesbian.

We have to tell our children the truth....that sex even with condoms or the pill cannot stop one from getting HIV/AIDS.

I told my niece to NEVER get in my son's face again about having sex. She said that she will be glad when he gets laid...I told her that she should worry about her situation and stay out of his. This really angers me to no end.

If your daughter is a virgin and she wants to stay that way until marriage, I'm proud of her. We know that 20 year old virgins are a rarity.

When I was growing up, I didn't know a thing about oral sex. These 9-10 year old kids know what it is. The only penises I ever saw when I was in my teens was that of the baby boys (nephews) that I changed diapers on. Nowadays you got girls in elementary school being pregnant.

it seems like u r ventin..but be my guess and go ahead- it helps

it seems like u want acknowlegement... im happy that u have kids that make their own decisions- and wheter thats good or bad in ur eyes- doesnt mater- but im happy they kno what is the right thing......

and no all kids dont have sex.... my mom thought i wasnt into guys enough when i was youger- cuz i was a tomboy- and she heard rumors of me being gay- which i think was some of her reasons as well for putin me on da pill- but i think more than likely- it serves as a good thing-( i didnt really know what that was til the doc told me about it) if parents nurture that subject with their child- rather than jus gettin it fo them and leavin the matter alone....

can u be permiscuous ( prolly spelled wrong- but yall get what im sayin) if still a virgin> cuz its allot to do without having intercourse these days?

some people think that jus cuz ur a virgin means that u have sex- thats not always tru- and jus cuz u r one- dont mean that u aint doin things jus as "bad"

Who's venting?

daroc

I don't think one can be promiscuous and still be a virgin but one can be flirtatious and still be a virgin.

You are so right when you said that children can't and often wont tell a parent everything.

However, as a parent we seem to notice when something is going on with our children. They give off signs with their behavior and body language. Although we can't pinpoint the specific, we still intuitively know when something is different. What I do is sileintly watch and observe. What children don't seem to understand is that we were once children (smile) and alot of the issues that they face in their life, we too have been there done that.

Although I might not know right away what the problem is, I do eventually find out and address the matter. I let them know that I don't expect them to be perfect and that I too have made my mistakes but whats important is that we correct them and grow from them and they can always talk to me. I may be upset but I will do the best that I can to bring them clarity.

There are so many things for children to get into besides sex. you are indeed correct about that! Being a virgin does'nt make them less exposed to the other issues. As parents we need to be open to all possibilities.

Vj57

Wow! you say some children feel pushed into having sex by their parents? I am not aware of that. I know peer pressure plays a huge facter in that, But parents do also? I never thought of it that way. I think when a child makes a statement of such, it might just be a cop out to why they will have sex. Surely they know that thier parent don't want them to have sex at a young age. I can vision a unfitt parent cohersing her child to have sex with someone for royaltys but not a responsible one. Maybe I'm wrong about this one! It's something I will have to think on a little more.

As far as children condeming other's for not having sex, This type of pressure will always be around. Your son handled it appropiately. He is a head strong individual and knows what he wants. He must have done you proud!

DELETED - SEE ME FOR INPUT

Well said Cedric Denson!

Two things we as parents should remember: 1. How did our parents discuss sex with us? 2. How old we were we when we first "did it"? I have years before I have to worry about my son (he's 9 months), but I know those years will go by very fast. I also have to remember how I processed information, or rather, non-information, about sex when I was a teenager. I lost my virginity when I was 16. I knew what I was doing; at the same time, I wished my parents had been more open and honest with me. I couldn't even talk to my older sister; to this day, she acts like sex is a dirty word. So, to wrap things up, I would say say that because it's not our choice about when our kids have sex, (as it wasn't our parent's choice when we had sex for the first time) just be honest. Talk to your kids. Make sure they know everything that can possibly go wrong. You wouldn't send a solider to war without showing him how to use a gun, now would you?

Two things we as parents should remember: 1. How did our parents discuss sex with us? 2. How old we were we when we first "did it"? I have years before I have to worry about my son (he's 9 months), but I know those years will go by very fast. I also have to remember how I processed information, or rather, non-information, about sex when I was a teenager. I lost my virginity when I was 16. I knew what I was doing; at the same time, I wished my parents had been more open and honest with me. I couldn't even talk to my older sister; to this day, she acts like sex is a dirty word. So, to wrap things up, I would say say that because it's not our choice about when our kids have sex, (as it wasn't our parent's choice when we had sex for the first time) just be honest. Talk to your kids. Make sure they know everything that can possibly go wrong. You wouldn't send a solider to war without showing him how to use a gun, now would you?

Excellent response!!

I see you have a bit more time to be posting these days :shades:

Greetings, Kings, & Queens, My little girl just turn 13, and i teach her to get her education, first their will be plenty of tyme for young men later on in life. I also take her around the inner city to see girls her age and older with kids, and i tell her that riseing kids is not easy. I even gave her an experiment,meaning my brother has an 8 month old daugther, and my daugther had to take care of her for the weekend,as if she was hers,I got to say, she enjoyed the baby but she said she don't won't a baby any tyme soon, she also said that she have much more respect for me as a mother to her, she didn't no that being a parent was so much work,and she only had the baby for 1 weekend. I also so teach her to respect her body, and to dress with respect,that you don't have to show your body to be sexy,that you can be sexy without showing to much of your body,and i don't show my skin,little girl do what their mothers do, so if mommie dresses (lets say to whorish) then of course the daugthers want to be like mommie. So mothers watch how you dress around your daugthers. peace and blessings, my Kings & Queens. :)

Good advice Renee...thank you, and welcome to Destee!

I guess I'm the lucky one. I for one did not engage in sexual activites till I was 23 years old. My wife claims that I made up for it. But my point is that, I just couldn't see myself being a father or running the risk of it. Besides, I was too off the hook to be in a relationship before that. As for my daughter ? HMMmm ? Well, given the way she is right now...I couldn't see her engaging in those activities till she is grown...hopefully anyway.

My daughter and I are exactly 20 years apart, and we have grown up together. In fact, I would say that we are still doing so. Because of our very close relationship, we are able to talk to each other. She is nowhere near ready mentally or even physically to engage in sexual activity. She still doesn't like to see people kissing. Outside of hugging, everything else makes her blush. So for these reasons, besides the fact that she's 12, I hope she waits either until she's married, or at least over the age of 18.

Sister Jazzy, I can relate to what you wrote. My daughter and I are also 20 years apart in age and we also grew up together and are very close and she's now 33 years old. From a very young age I taught her to think and not be afraid to ask questions. I also demonstrated to her that she could trust me and to I taught her to always tell me the truth no matter what the consequences might be. That was the biggest payoff for us both because she always came to me whenever she was curious about sex and I knew that I could trust that she would make the best decisions for her when it came time for her to engage. She too was 19 when she decided that she wanted to and I was ok with it. I've learned that it's not always about what parents want. Our children are just younger versions of ourselves and if you develop good relationships with your chidren, they will do often behave responsibly.

Queenie :spinstar:

My daughter is a virgin and will be 17 next month. I'm very proud of her decisions thus far. Especially her decision to wait until after high school to have a boyfriend.

I never really discouraged my daughter not to have sex, I've told her she should wait, and let her know the consequences but it's a conversation that we've only had once. What I did was encourage her to enjoy her childhood, and enjoy it to the fullest until she turns 18-that way she will have little regrets. I have tried to remind her that childhood is precious...and only comes once in a lifetime and many people don't get to enjoy it. But I loved my childhood and wanted her to have the same experience.

I have shown her living examples of people we know, how they made certain choices and their lives turned out one way or another. My daughter used to look up to my God sister Brandy. I took Brandy in when she was 13, tried to raise her for 2 years. That girl was out of control. I had to tell my daughter that although I loved Brandy like she was my daughter,that Brandy was headed in a direction that wasn't going to be too pleasant because she wouldn't listen or take guidance. My daughter was 8 at the time. Brandy did not finish high school. Brandy got pregnant at 16. Brandy barely keeps a job.

I think my daughter learned a lot from Brandy...even if that wasn't positive. It was because of Brandy that my advice to just be a child hit home with my daughter.

My daughter tells me all the time that she is happy that she never tried to date. She says from what she's whitnessed at her high school with her friends, that relationships are too much stress and that many kids who are dating in school don't seem happy. Great observation. One thing that she has learned is how to be friends with the opposite sex. That is priceless.

she must have sex when she will be married. (i hope! i'll do all my best to see her to do like that) :peace:

My daughter or my son for that matter should have sex when they are married and out of my house. I will be happy if they are married and planning to give me a grandchild. Any other reason or age would not make me happy.


Peace

Radical Faith

hopefully when she's a mature, married adult, she would enjoy that gift God has given husband and wife to have.
she will make her own decisions but not w/o the strong influence of my involvement...

wow, good topic.

Greetings, Kings, & Queens, My little girl just turn 13, and i teach her to get her education, first their will be plenty of tyme for young men later on in life. I also take her around the inner city to see girls her age and older with kids, and i tell her that riseing kids is not easy. I even gave her an experiment,meaning my brother has an 8 month old daugther, and my daugther had to take care of her for the weekend,as if she was hers,I got to say, she enjoyed the baby but she said she don't won't a baby any tyme soon, she also said that she have much more respect for me as a mother to her, she didn't no that being a parent was so much work,and she only had the baby for 1 weekend. I also so teach her to respect her body, and to dress with respect,that you don't have to show your body to be sexy,that you can be sexy without showing to much of your body,and i don't show my skin,little girl do what their mothers do, so if mommie dresses (lets say to whorish) then of course the daugthers want to be like mommie. So mothers watch how you dress around your daugthers. peace and blessings, my Kings & Queens. :)

Sistah Renee,

Thank you for being a responsible sistah. :great: What you did reminds me of the school experiment with the computerized doll "Baby Think It Over". The teens were given a doll that registered when they were "fed", "changed", "cuddled", or " abused". It would cry and would have to be held with a "key" in place for an unspecified time or it wouldn't stop. Giving her a "LIVE" baby to deal with for a weekend, was an excellent test. If a teen is mature enough to handle that, then alot more of these teens, BOYS and GIRLS, need to understand the REAL demands of being a parent.

Too many times I have seen shows like Maury that will have young girls on there wanting to be moms, 13 years old and up. :hammer: It amazes me when I see the moms at wit's end. I truly believe that these problems didn't just come out of the blue. You can't JUST start trying to instill values and morals into an adolescent. You have to start as soon as that child recognizes the difference between right and wrong.

There is such a need for mentorship programs that will reach young people and teach them about self esteem, self awareness, good decision making skills and critical thinking. I would love to see more of my BROTHERS take some of their younger boys under their wings and teach about accountability. This can only happen if (WE) realize that our future generations are influenced by the MINDSETS of today.

Well, first off, parents should be concerned about both their sons and daughters having sex, not just the daughters. Too many times parents expect their girls to be the models of chastity while the boys can do whatever they want sexually. Nowadays, with AIDS, and DNA testing, men can be just as ruined by indiscriminate sex as women. In fact, someone had made a thread on here talking about how one of their friends had screwed up his life having so many 'illigitimate' kids.

With that being said, I personally think that sex/dating before a person (boy or girl) is 16 is inappropriate. True, nature may say you're ready to reproduce by 13, but our culture doesn't. There really is no reason for a 13, 14, 15 year-old to be pursuing a romantic relationship. And even at 16, 17, it is questionable whether dating should be allowed. But, there is a point where you have to let your kid spread their wings and allow them some freedom.

What concerns me more so than my son or any other future kids having sex is whether or not they're doing it with someone they love in a committed relationship.

Well, we all know our youth will not refrain from having sex, just because we suggest they do so. They will always be curious, their hormones are raging throughout adolescense. I would suggest my daughter remain chaste until she is out of the house, and established. 21+. Since this is not guaranteed, I will keep her involved in extra-curricular activities, distracting her from it. No dating until 16........thus allowing her a healthy amount of exposure to the opposite sex before she gets out in the world at18.

W-H-A-T,oh let's say seventy five or so,i'm the father of a daughter..I DON'T EVER WANT HER HAVIN SEX[of course somewhere down the line some little smooth talkin sucker is gonna get his wish][ARE CHASTITY BELTS STILL LEGAL?]where was i oh yeah and anyhow i hope that she will be finished with her college career and working at her life's chosen profession and maybe married..AND EVEN THEN I DON'T WANNA HEAR BOUT NO SEX!!!

lol.. i had absolutely no extra curriculars..... and my mother aint force abstinence down my throat either and i waited exactly one day after i graduated, virginity becomes more of a burden these days, the men I have come in contact with either felt i was too good for them, or didnt want to be the one to do it.. or wanted to do it to the degree that it was just to say they did it. I was sexually aware for a long time.. and i had a boyfriend of a year.. who would not deflower me..
in college ive seen it become so depressing for young ladies..
I didnt want to be the one who went to college and lost thier virginity to thier s.o.s only to find out its another knotch on the headboard for him...
My freshman roomate tried to commit suicide when that happened to her, while i sat back and looked like.. (geese, im glad i got that out of the way) ive also seen young women depressed to the point of no return.. some may say that these are rare incidences....but ask yourself
how many virgins you knew in college?
most didnt go to college a virgin..
the term "fresh meat" originated there I believe..
like vultures.. the young men watch..
study...
and not to mention that most college campus are std havens...
so what would you rather..
high school.. and she know how to protect herself properly...
or college? when shes anxious.. super nervous.. and unknowing?

I mean... c'mont now.. we still got frown @ss women out there that think if they wear a condom they safe..
shoot..
I aint never knew condoms break until one did,
I aint never know that there are 23 deseases you can catch with a condom,
or that.. when you start havin sex that you increase your chances of gettin gbladder/yeast infections...
I mean i didnt know..
women dont talk that much..
and lets be tru.. the gals dont either...
truth be told..
Id rather she did it when she was ready than me to put some redickioulous age above her head..
cause guess what..
sex happens at school all the time..
those extra curriculars..
away games...
what you think those times are dead?
children these days dont think oral is sex..
untill they end up with ghonerreah in thier throats,
or oral herpes... on thier tounge in theier mouths..
now truly...
do you discuss all this with your child..
maybe its time someone did..
before they be tossin salad.. and givin oral..
and end up with a bad case of oral herpes.. and ecoli...
welcome to the real world..
and being a virgin dosent mean that you dont do other stuff..
yall remember that rite..


Well, we all know our youth will not refrain from having sex, just because we suggest they do so. They will always be curious, their hormones are raging throughout adolescense. I would suggest my daughter remain chaste until she is out of the house, and established. 21+. Since this is not guaranteed, I will keep her involved in extra-curricular activities, distracting her from it. No dating until 16........thus allowing her a healthy amount of exposure to the opposite sex before she gets out in the world at18.

When she graduates from college! so I'm hoping she'll be a doctor:coffee: