My friend and I had this disussion
she thinks it is ok b/c her and this woman once was friends.....
but i see problems within it so now i want to see what others think of this

why would her man continue to be friends with this woman knowing the woman dont like her....to me its like a form of disrespect....My question is why would your mate befriend another person who use to be your friend and now really just don’t care for you....dont even speak to you and your mate knows this..Would you feel betrayed by your mate or question their friendship with a person who don’t care for you? they dont even speak to you..but make it thier business to speak to your mate. whats really goin on?
I hope this makes sense

I think it's being done to make her jealous. Especially from the girl who doesn't like her. I think that it would be tough to drop a friend that you've had for a while, but if they're not close then what's the use pissing off your girl for an aquaintance. I wouldn't keep her around as a friend unless we were already close befoe getting with my girl. Bottom line...that's messing with my booty-action and we just can't have that. Just kidding. :tongue:

kente417mojo...thank you for your reply...thas what i think as well...but why cant he see it? and why do our sisters hate on each other?

kente417mojo...thank you for your reply...thas what i think as well...but why cant he see it? and why do our sisters hate on each other?


I'm not sure. Maybe he likes playing games or something. Some people get-off on making others jealous. Maybe he sees it and he's enjoying being in the center.

Why do sisters hate on eachother. I've always wondered this also. My ex pointed something out to me a few times. We'd be in the mall and we'd pass a brotha and I'd give him the "what's up brotha" head nod...you guys know the one. Then we'd pass a sista and my ex and the girl would pass and ignore or either give dirty looks to eachother. I never realized it until she pointed it out. Its like there sort of a competion going on.

maybe he do like it..but aint that a disrepect on his half
that can hurt your mates feelings even look at you different...
what is he doin to his relationship
if his mate is not understanding of what is really goin on

i understanding what your saying
but i think it runs deeper then that....
the ones that do the hating is it b/c they are really jealous
are they insecure with them self
what is the real motive behind it
you dont see brothers hating on each other
as much as the sisters do....

Yeah, i don't know what's going through his mind other than loving the attention from both sides of two people that don't like eachother. He's obviously not thinking of the effects it has on his girl.

Maybe the problem is that black women think they are always competing because they outnumber men. Or maybe it's the fact that black women have to contiunuosly feel like the have to compete because the media doesn't look at black women as examples of beauty and elegance like they do for other races. Maybe it's hard to get out of that competitive mode, so they carry it wherever they go. That's all I can think of. What do you think.

to be honest i dont know what to really think
its like a mountian of mind games to see if they
can get under ones skin playin petty and childish games
but the reason i have no clue....

it seems we should be tryin to come together
instead of comin apart...
but they still fight amongst each other
tryin to out do each other..it goes deeper then a man
and woman out rankin men....i believe

Who O why??
LOL...... Ok here I go with this one..... hold on tight yall.... :smokin:

Ok, here is my problem with this why cant he be friends with her? I feel like it is more of a insecure thing than anything else. Do you think you man is playing games? If so why do you feel like this is what she should ask herself.
Men and women view relationships and friendships alot different from what I have witnessed from friends and family members.
I myself don't feel like I should have to cut off a aquantice if I am doing nothing wrong and she does nothing to disrespect the woman I am with. Point blank nobody is going to like everyone. Women seem to display a constent battle between eachother. Forget this shortage of men crap, even there is soe truth 2 it...LOL
I will always pick and choose who my friends are not my mate but I will try to respect her wishes and feelings as long as it is a valid point to be taken.
When a person tries to control who another person associates with it is a bad thing in some ways and somtimes we need to find out thing on our own.

Does your friend associate with anyone who he feels she should not deal with? That might be a problem also that she is not looking at. :teach:

thank you CP for replyin.....right now i dont know how he feels about her friends....but to get to what you said
i dont think is a pickin of your mates friends
to me it is a thing of respect your mates feeling you know that the person dont care for your mate and don not speak to your mate. when your together or not...insecure i dont think in this case is the problem.....

so why do our sisters hate on each other?

Python dear, I have something for you... :smash: :smash: :smash: now take that!!! and next time think about your other half before you answer a question like that. See, respect is due "everyone"...and that's on the real. If a ex-friend of mine no longer like me and won't even speak, ...then when she see me and my husband in passing, best's she keep moving. Why? because you don't have to like a person to speak, infact you don't have to speak by name, all she has to say is: good morning, or good evening, or good afternoon or hello. She don't even have to look up at them, but to speak to one party and it's two there is being ignorance. And because she show disrespect don't mean he have to be a party to it. (just my opinion)

I think it's being done to make her jealous. Especially from the girl who doesn't like her. I think that it would be tough to drop a friend that you've had for a while, but if they're not close then what's the use pissing off your girl for an aquaintance. I wouldn't keep her around as a friend unless we were already close befoe getting with my girl. Bottom line...that's messing with my booty-action and we just can't have that. Just kidding. :tongue:

I agree.
Why you would keep a friend that's hurting your relationship I will never undrstand? The friend knows this is making the mate jealous because if she was really a friend, she would back off and let these two repair and build their relationship.

well nita i dont understand it....either way its a disrepectful thing to do in a relationship
your to think of your mates feeling more so then ya own in situation like that...

if they think how would it really make them feel if thier mate did it to them...
but i guess if they neva been in this situation they can say it wont hurt them but it gots to a thing of mistrust like you living and lovin the enemy
and dont even know it.....

i think it really hurts the relationship and places added stress not needed

I think it's a double edge sword !
if u befriends with me then also my mate u speak to me speak to my
mate also if not then don't speak at all be a frenzy if u like but we will
speak .

You know, my (almost ex) husband and I used to have this problem.. ALot. There was this girl (I say girl because she's younger than me and truly acts her age) who actually introduced us. She was my friend, and then she tried to break us up by spreading lies and distorted truths about my past around town. I refused to speak with her ever again. He used to see her all the time, and would come home telling me how she was doing, what she said, and asking if she could call the house? But on the other hand, I had a male friend, and he wouldn't let the brother get within 100 ft off me....

Beyond that, a lot of times it is about jealousy. For some reason, their are men out there (I've met) that will use a woman's friends as examples of things like: She goes to the gym everyday, why don't you? She treats her man like this, why don't you? She told me I was fine, why don't you? And it goes on and on.

As to why women are in competition with each other..... Part of it (I think) has to do with the men. My ex used to brag about my cooking to some of the women he worked with (who used to cook for him on occasion).. whenever I saw them , they rolled their eyes, smacked their lips, and made foul comments about me.. within my range of hearing!