How can a brotha tell when a woman has filed him under "F" for "freind but I dont like him like THAT" ????

What are the signs that a woman will give that man has lost and will only be her "buddy", shoulder to cry on, or someone she "loves like a brother"?

Men--tell me what you noticed before getting shot down or quietly rejected.

Women--give me as much info as you can about what goes thru your head in making the choice.....I promise to use the info for good, not evil. :grin:

Thanks

Hello Mr.Blak

I can think of one hint I find myself saying to let him know that I'm not interested in a relationship. If he says things like, If I was your man I would.......... I usually try to laugh it off and say something like, You are so crazy or you are going to make some women very happy. If he's very persistant, then I just have to gently tell him that I'm not interested and I love having him as my friend.
If I think of something else, I'll be back to post it.
Okay here's a few more! If she always say no,maybe another time, or when you are talking, she easily becomes distracted, or if she is always talking about other guys around you.

hummmm! intresting question i'll sleep on it and come back but do hope to hear more ladies speak out on this hot topic here ! .......Look for my reply back brutha

I usually cut these chicks, women and females off within 24 hours so we do not even get to this point.

However the signs usually is the lack of interest in ever wanting to take the friendship to the next level.

That is why I say twerk em and leave em.

I'd just cut to the chase and say that I see him just as a friend. Now, maybe that is something that could change over time, maybe. How do you tell when someone isn't being honest, or doesn't want to hurt your feelings? I guess you just have to ask point blank for the truth.

Wow, this is a good question. It has been years since I was last "shot down" so I'll have to think about this one....I guess at the top of my head I'd have to say it is a sign of disinterest if she stops calling as often. If she starts talking about other men with you....well, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Hmmm.....I'll come up with more later.

LOL@ Brotha Pan you alright with me.

I agree, if a woman talks about other guys in front of you, that's a definate sign. If she asks advice about men then that's one. If she's always with another chick whenever she goes out with you that's one also. If she openly stares and makes comments about other men in your presence...then there's no hope.

If she openly stares and makes comments about other men in your presence...then there's no hope.

Indeed Kente....Indeed!

Keep the responses coming people... This is hilarious!! :lol:

Queenie :spinstar:

Good respsonses....LOL..I am glad I have not faced some of those signs. I would have had to end it with a quickness and would feel like trash. I pick up on details of a person behviour easily so those behaviours would blow my head off.

I need some people to tell me about subtle signs from a nice type woman who may be undecided, but never wants to be disrespectfull and rejecting a guy. It could be language or what ever.

For those of you who cant help me that way....for guys: what is the nastiest way a woman ever filed you under "friend" and ruined your dreams? Women--what have you done when a guy did not "get it" the first time?

If she tries to pass you off on a friend....then it is safe to say she lost interest!

If she tells you that she doesn't see herself in a relationship anytime soon, then that's a hint. If she says she hasn't met her "ideal boyfriend" then you are a friend for life pal. :toast:

subtle signs from a nice type woman who may be undecided, but never wants to be disrespectfull and rejecting a guy.

She says, althougth I enjoy your company, at this moment I really don't have time nor am I ready to start dating on a romantic level. However you are quite charming and who knows what may happen. Let's just continue to stay as friends for now.

When she introduces you as her brother to her closest friends, It usually means ain't nothing happening.

If she says she hasn't met her "ideal boyfriend" then you are a friend for life pal. :toast:

You ain't never lied man. :lol:
If she asked you if your boy is single.............might as well keep looking! :shades:

when she say hey he's cute ......forget it ur out !
you will know when she give you that look , now bruthas y'all what i'm
talking about that look to say step off without a word
or when you out with her and she make a statement (if we wasn't friend)
right there you know time to push on. :eeek:

If she says she doesn't like lightskinned men, and you look like Jason Kidd....don't plan to move in anytime soon.

If she says she doesn't like short men, and you are the same size as Prince....don't make any wedding plans.

If she says she doesn't like big men, and you're Ruben (American Idol's) twin....don't buy any valentines.

maaaaan. Sometimes I want to tell a brotha that I ain't feeling him but they're so sweet in their approach that it's hard to shoot them down, especially when they're sitting there offering you the world but you aren't interested. I won't force a relationship just because it's what he wants or what most folk think I should do but I'll try to keep him as a friend because who knows how we'll grow on each other. God puts people in your life for a reason, so even if a relationship ain't in the plan at that moment doesn't mean it won't be later. So what's wrong with friendship?

And besides, some people just don't get it. If I'm not strong enough to be straight forward then be strong enough to take a hint.

Rich and pan....you guys are crazy. True though.

I am rolling with laughter at you all! Okay, I know this might be a bit gross but someone told me this once years ago and I never forgot it I laughed so hard.

Usually friends will do things around each other that they won't normally do around anyone else, especially if it's someone they are interested in and like very much. So....IF....she starts farting around you, along with the gas mask you will know immediately which category she puts you in! :flamet: :lol:

(The joke that this friend of mine told me was, you know when the honeymoon is over when people start farting under the covers while in bed.)

Queenie :angel:

yeah NNQueen her friend she would never let loose if she took u as her man !!!
i always wonder if my lady ever fart ! seem like it just don't happen ...lol

OanAfrica man u on point and crazyyyyyyyyy but laid out facts

NNQueen I've seen some married folk in my day who don't care who they blow out of the room, including each other....so much for that one....lol. I think that only applies during the courtship period.
And PanAfrica.... :laugh:

you will know when she start telling folks we just friends
or when she say you don't have to do that for me !
if she start telling you everything trust me y'all friends ....NO Chance

you will know when she start telling folks we just friends
or when she say you don't have to do that for me !
if she start telling you everything trust me y'all friends ....NO Chance
I realized this last list you put up is what I went thru/ am going thru. It ws never the big signs or anything rude. I just today alerted the girl in question that I wnt to hear from her where I stand to tie up loose ends and then move on from there as either a freind or a potential BF of hers.....but not some in between position where I could get played.


Thanks to all for the amuzing and informative responses. :thanks:

Subtle hints of rejection aren't really distinguishable from hints of playing hard to get. Then again what you call playing hard to get is often just that the woman respects herself and doesn't want to jump into something without knowing who she's giving her heart to.

I am a little old fashioned and will let the man initiate romance. If I am interested you wilh know because I will return your calls and your kisses. If I'm not you will know because I will tell you. Until he indicates that he wants to be more than friends then that is all we are. Really the guy who starts off being my friend will win my heart faster than the guy who startts off trying to romance me. I just hate the feeling of being swept off my feet.

Thanks River!!!!

Well, as a female, with platonic male friends, I know what I do. I will talk about other men with someone that I consider to be my "boy", buddy or whatever. I'll even ask him about his women. It's comfortable and casual and I don't feel the need to be "done up" around him. Also, with someone that I am interested in, I will call him. Initiate hooking up, etc. Someone who is my friend or my boy can come around when my girls are there and we're chillin' watching movies, being silly, having our little impromptu male/female debates. I just consider them to be good people who I am not attracted to. True, sometimes your "boy" might flip it on you and throw you off with the "what about us" conversation. Its uncomfortable, but if you care about that person as a friend and a person in general, you will do the right thing and not string them along. That's how I handle things.

ya'll had me cracking up at work...'bout got me fired. :lol:

I must be honest. Being a guy who gets shot down a lot, I can honestly say I've experienced all of them...except for the passing gas thing. That's just straight nasty coming from a woman. And if it's foul....woo lawd. Kill it.

I'd like to share with ya'll an experience I just had with my just a friend dude.

This man has let me know in fifty million different ways that he is NOT my boyfriend. I had a mad crush on him and I think he knew it which is why he felt the need to make himself clear. Instead of slinking away feeling shot down and rejected I accepted that we were not an item but were still friends. As a friend he opened himself to me in ways that a lot of women complain their boyfriends won't. He shared his dreams and goals, his weaknesses and challenges. When he tells me he loves me I don't kid myself about what kind of love he's talking about. I don't try to give him more than he is willling to accept or ask him for more than he is willing to give. I don't drop hints or act like I don't know what's on the menu at McDonald's (ya'll have any chitlins today). He told me that he has come to trust me as a sister. I never made a big speech about wanting to be his friend because I spent more time thinking about what I could do than what I could say to show my intentions. Of course I probably still have a crush on him and would be his lady in a New York minute if he asks me. But I'm not going to burst my lungs waiting for him to ask. I would miss out on so much because the love he gives me right now as a brother and a friend is more precious to me than a diamond ring.

God loves me too much to give me everything I think I want. What I'm trying to say is brothers if you look at women as something more than relationship material then it won't be so painful when they don't see you as such. She just may give you a love far greater than the one you're asking her for.

BTW, this isn't an easy mindset to have. It takes discipline and sacrifice of our selfish needs and desires. There were times when I felt like just throwing myself at him and declaring my undying love. Fortunately when I have a cruch on someone my mouth refuses to open. Just think about what you have to lose and be quiet.