I just get so upset when small children, especially those who are under five, are cursed at and/or slapped around in public by their parents. And this is a negative trait that I've seen mainly in black people. (And other people do it, too, since I've seen white people go off on their kids, but in most cases, it has been us folks).

This is a generational problem. Perhaps the parent was treated the same way.

I wish this would stop because it's embarrassing to the kids and it will continue on when they become parents.

Children have so much to deal with today in this loveless world. And it's sad when those who are responsible for them being here do not know how to discipline them properly.

I do believe in disciplining but would handle it at home. And rarely have my kids been problems in public. That certain look coming from me was an indication that "you better stop it now".

Do you intervene when parents cuss their kids out? I give a look of displeasure to the parent, and if they are abusing the child, I will say something.

I give a look of tottal disgust. One time in NYC a mother turned to slap her kid for simply asking to go to a fast food joint. She raised her hand and saw an angry 6 foot brother ice grilling her and turn into that restaurant sooooo fast. She kept looking out to see when I passed.

Another time I was on the subway and a kid was slumping on the bench on the opposite platform. The mother grabbed his head and thrust it back so he would sit straight and his head hit the concrete wall (not too hard though). I gave a long stare and was about to go over there....she cut it out.

In both cases they were black. Black people need to take preventative measures instead of waiting for the kid to act up and beating them (the easy way out). My mother taught us from day one NEVER EVER embarass her in public. One look or snapping at us did it. We rarely had to be snapped at in public we knew we would be in trouble at home.....no we didnt get the daylight whipped out of us either. You aint gotta be the most violent to get kids attention.

I think these parents need to realize they look stupid doing that. They need to just drop what they are doing and take the kid home. That will scare the hell out the kid then they get punished on top of it. I remember an argument where black parents were talking about enjoying embarssing their kids and trading stories (boasting) on how they beat their kid anywhere and carry beating implements with them. *SMH* anyone can make a child--only some have the skills to parent. Some dont deserve kids at all and only have them as a means to controll a little peice of the world and the people in it. Power tripping is definitely generational.

In the black community, the nastiness of the grandparents is visited on the grandkids. Poor treatment rarely cycles back to the source.

This is a reason why I do not have children because I would throw a kid against the wall if it were acting all stank in public. I am so glad I do not have to deal with that BS.

Kids learn by example. If the parent is violent, more likely the kid will be violent.

If one does not want to have kids, that's their choice. But it's not the kids that are the problem, the parents are.

And the reactions that kids have in public, we ALL "be there done that". That's why my mother would swat my behind real good.

I didn't have that problem with my children in public because they were corrected at home. I learned to be positive in handling my kids. Yelling and screaming at them will not solve anything.

It hurts me that I have relatives who cuss at their kids worst than a drunk sailor. My nephew cusses at his son so bad that I had to tell him to SHUT UP. And they also have a one year old and that child is screamed and cussed at.

If this is all the children get, they will pass it on.

I do believe that women do it because they are angry. Many black women have been rejected by baby's daddy and they take their anger out on the kids.

These dumb parenting classes don't help at all. They teach that the child is in control. I don't go for "time out", as my mother would say, it's "knock out". These classes teach the parents to let Johnny have his way and let him scream at the malls.

If you don't know how to control your anger, don't have kids.

In the black community, the nastiness of the grandparents is visited on the grandkids. Poor treatment rarely cycles back to the source.[/QUOTE

And some kids did have some nasty grandparents. I'm thankful that my kids' grandparents were not nasty. My mother would give you that look and you would straighten up right away.

I've blown up sometimes with the kids, but I had to apologize for being so harsh. And when they got older and did wrong, they had privileges taken away. Tell a teenager they cannot go to the movies or use the car and stick to it. They will straighten up next time because we know how much teens love to drive.

My kids never bothered with merchandise in the stores. They were taught at home. If people would do this, then they don't have to deal with unruly children out in public. Also, they sat properly and ate their meals at restaurants with no problems. People would comment about their behavior, especially white folks. Well, most of the time we see how unruly white kids are and their parents let them rule the roost.

But to slam a child real hard in public is unacceptable. If I had my kids under control and other parents did to, today's parents can do the same.

But they had bad parents as examples, so we cannot expect anything better.

Really? hmmmmmmmmmm

Sekhemu, do you have something to add?

but it's true. I went to Chicago one summer, and this woman hauled off and slapped the mess out of this young boy no more than 5 who was her nephew I might add, in a public restaurant. When she lQQked up and saw my lQQk, and the lQQk of all the people in the restaurant, she soon apoligized to the child.

I hate to see parents cursing out children of any age, but if their parents did it to them, How are they suppose to know better? My husband's mother curses, her father curses, and naturally he curses. My husband and I quickly got an understanding when we had children that no cursing was allowed in our house. My parents didn't curse me, and I was going to continue their gr8 teachings in my house. I have never cursed my kids not because I'm Miss Goody Two Shoes, but because God hears and sees all and I want him to see me talking right in front of them and others as well.

If you're grown cursing around other grown folks, do ya thing. Just don't help to poison the minds of our youth by showing them our ugly bad habbits.
We all should watch what we say and what we do.

I still would slam them bad rugrats. I swear they are hear to makes us miserable then replace us.

Joke.

I really love other people kids not my own. Kids are so beautiful when you do not have to deal with 24 hours a day. LEt give you an example:

I was playing my ex-niece in law in Barbados, Her name is Delana. Delana would polietly pick up something and throw it on the ground and this went on for about 4 hours until I realized I was being played.

At that moment I realized I was not Fraternal nor a Father because the next Idea in my head was to get me some get back, lol.

But seriously, I think kids should be discplined in public if need be.

(I know yall say I am crazy so go ahead and let it out)

I really love other people kids not my own. Kids are so beautiful when you do not have to deal with 24 hours a day. LEt give you an example:

I was playing my ex-niece in law in Barbados, Her name is Delana. Delana would polietly pick up something and throw it on the ground and this went on for about 4 hours until I realized I was being played.

At that moment I realized I was not Fraternal nor a Father because the next Idea in my head was to get me some get back, lol.

But seriously, I think kids should be discplined in public if need be.

(I know yall say I am crazy so go ahead and let it out)
You certainly aint crazy my man. You know what kind of life you want and you are making it happen. You are same age as me and figured out, obviously a while back, that you prefer to play with others kids and be around them periodically, rather than as a full time parent. I feel that at least a quarter of black parents are really that way and that is why they take out everything on their kids and are so severe. I get sick when I here them dicuss and tke that attitude that black kids are naturally born bad so you gotta beat em from birth or they will beat or kill you. I have actually had a pregnant black woman say to me online "but what if that little n---a tries to stab me? I gotta beat him." She was speaking of an unborn child that was not even at the stage where you knew the sex (turned out to be a girl). That is nuts. Some people need to choose not to be parents and they will be happier and that will be one less abused child.

Anyways, props to you for knowing what you want in life.

Preciate You Mr. Blak, I also figured I did not want kids because I got that I aint yo Baby Daddy Virus. As soon as a chick say she preggo, or her mama dream about fish I do the following:

1. Tell her mama she is dreaming about dolphins and or whales.

2. Explain to the female that I do not have children, I cannot have kids I have a mental vasectomy and I know she lying on me. I also remind her that the physical vasectomy is in the works.

3. I make prepreations to leave the country as soon as possible.

This actually happened and I said after that ordeal, that I aint fend to make no babies no time soon. I am entirely too inmature for children, and I know I will leave the child and never speak to it again. Children are such an expensive obstacle, and I just cannot fade em. Alot of people think this thinking is morbid but I think it is healthy because at least I do not make babies and pretend to take care of them when I don't like these other busters.

PS - PanAfrica, NNqueen and anyone else, if you want to adopt some kids, I can make you some and sell them too you :-)

That pregnant woman spoke evil into her unborn child's life. You know, when you speak negative things, those things will happen. If a person keeps telling a child 'You're no good!", that child will be exactly that way.

I had a friend who always told her son, "You are like your daddy" in a negative way. And the boy has his father's negative traits.

If you don't want children, I don't blame you. It takes a lot to raise them. And my son told me that he does not want to even breathe near a woman who already has children. He don't want any drama and if he would have any, he wants to be married to a positive sister who doesn't have any kids.

I don't agree with strict disciplining in public. There is a way to do it, but too many black parents go off the hook. I cringe when I hear a parent call a toddler such names as mf, b, or tell them to shut the f up. And when they slap them afterwards, that right there gets me angry.

No wonder we have so many black children up for adoption. And a lot of them have suffered at the hands of their parents.

As for me, I love children, but mine are grown. I'm not going down that road again. It was not an easy thing, but I can look back and say that I did my best and at least they didn't cause me a lot of pain.

Manasiac, you're crazy, but at least you got it out. The woman knows how you feel about kids and you are letting them know that you don't want any. Better to make your statements before anything happens. You don't want kids and that's that! Therefore, the woman shouldn't try to "trick" you. And if you don't want any, either get a vasectomy or keep a supply of condoms.

Black and Vj I do feel you guys on the Negative thing. It disturbs me to see Parents talking to ugly to the Kids.

In the black community, the nastiness of the grandparents is visited on the grandkids. Poor treatment rarely cycles back to the source.[/QUOTE

And some kids did have some nasty grandparents. I'm thankful that my kids' grandparents were not nasty. My mother would give you that look and you would straighten up right away.

I've blown up sometimes with the kids, but I had to apologize for being so harsh. And when they got older and did wrong, they had privileges taken away. Tell a teenager they cannot go to the <A TITLE="Click for more information about movies" STYLE="text-decoration: none; border-bottom: medium solid green;" HREF="http://search.targetwords.com/u.search?x=5977|1||||movies|AA1VDw">movies</A> or use the <A TITLE="Click for more information about car" STYLE="text-decoration: none; border-bottom: medium solid green;" HREF="http://search.targetwords.com/u.search?x=5977|1||||cars|AA1VDw">car</A> and stick to it. They will straighten up next time because we know how much teens love to drive.

My kids never bothered with merchandise in the stores. They were taught at home. If people would do this, then they don't have to deal with unruly children out in public. Also, they sat properly and ate their meals at restaurants with no problems. People would comment about their behavior, especially white folks. Well, most of the time we see how unruly white kids are and their parents let them rule the roost.

But to slam a child real hard in public is unacceptable. If I had my kids under control and other parents did to, today's parents can do the same.

But they had bad parents as examples, so we cannot expect anything better.


True some grandparents are not nice people. And some parents are not nice to their parents. Dumping there kids on them with little or no consideration. I would imagine at some point the grandparent would seem a little hostile

You said a mouthful, Sekhemu!

I have a sister in her 50s and she and her husband are in poor health. It angers me to no end when her grown behind son wants to drop his two bad hoodlums off on these sick people and then get an attitude when they say NO. They come to visit and my sister dismantles things, hides her knick-knacks, etc. But when they come to my home, I hide nothing but give them a glare and tap their fingers if they touch my stuff.

And since my nest is empty they assume that it's ok to call me to babysit. That aint happening anymore. On weekends I'm on the road. And even if I'm not, I don't want to watch two unruly kids, especially my nephew's son who is the prince of badness. I was recuperating from surgery when that little bugger wanted to kick me. His mom was watching and didn't even bother to correct him. But I swatted that rear of his and she got angry. I told her she better get him out of my face before I hurt him.

I had other nieces and nephew that I watched in the past and they were so well behaved. But it is the generation of grandnieces and nephews who are hellions and I don't want any bother with them.

You said a mouthful, Sekhemu!

I have a sister in her 50s and she and her husband are in poor health. It angers me to no end when her grown behind son wants to drop his two bad hoodlums off on these sick people and then get an attitude when they say NO. They come to visit and my sister dismantles things, hides her knick-knacks, etc. But when they come to my home, I hide nothing but give them a glare and tap their fingers if they touch my stuff.

And since my nest is empty they assume that it's ok to call me to babysit. That aint happening anymore. On weekends I'm on the road. And even if I'm not, I don't want to watch two unruly kids, especially my nephew's son who is the prince of badness. I was recuperating from surgery when that little bugger wanted to kick me. His mom was watching and didn't even bother to correct him. But I swatted that rear of his and she got angry. I told her she better get him out of my face before I hurt him.

I had other nieces and nephew that I watched in the past and they were so well behaved. But it is the generation of grandnieces and nephews who are hellions and I don't want any bother with them.


Vj you touched on some very important issues. I was telling someone in another thread that I was on the bus last week, and some little boy kept kicking the back of my chair, so I turn around and give him a stern look. His mother was sitting to his left and looked at me like so what he's kickin your chair, and don't say nothing to me about it. you know? like how dare me be annoyed. Too many of our people are coddling these kids. and there's a jail cell waiting for them unfortunately

Every week in Wilmington, Delaware where I live is a murder. And these are young men under 25 that are losing their lives. When you read the reports, you see that they were troublemakers. One lady I knew lost her son but she was a good mother and she shared with me how she taught him better but he hung around with his unruly friends. She just buried him about a month ago.

One young man was about 19 and he had a criminal record. Prior to him being shot to death, he had shot someone. My question was what is this fool doing out of jail?

Many black men and women are on crack around here and don't care about the comings and goings of their children. And these are the ones you hear cussing their kids out. I gave a mean glare to a young black man cussing his son who was about one and barely walking good, calling the boy a mf. I really gave him a stare and he just smiled, but I didn't smile back.

God help our children!

Every week in Wilmington, Delaware where I live is a murder. And these are young men under 25 that are losing their lives. When you read the reports, you see that they were troublemakers. One lady I knew lost her son but she was a good mother and she shared with me how she taught him better but he hung around with his unruly friends. She just buried him about a month ago.

One young man was about 19 and he had a criminal record. Prior to him being shot to death, he had shot someone. My question was what is this fool doing out of jail?

Many black men and women are on crack around here and don't care about the comings and goings of their children. And these are the ones you hear cussing their kids out. I gave a mean glare to a young black man cussing his son who was about one and barely walking good, calling the boy a mf. I really gave him a stare and he just smiled, but I didn't smile back.

God help our children!




Cussing out a baby, man that is foul. There's some deep self-hatred there

When my son was a toddler, he was sooo slow walking and I had patience with him. I would stop and wait for him to catch up to me, and then when he get to me, I would say to him, "It's about time you get here, sweetheart" and my voice was loving towards him. I enjoyed those years and didn't realize that I was being watched by others.

Someone made a comment to me years later when they saw how tall my son had grown. They observed the little toddler trying to keep up with his mother and my loving response to him. And to this day, anyone who knows me would tell you that my son worships the ground I walk on.

I felt sorry for the poor kid who was cussed out by his dad.

My nephew and his wife are just as bad, always cussing their kids out. I've heard the little one-year old grandniece referred to as a "b*tch" or told to shut the f up. I got on my nephew one day and he didn't like it. I told him that's why he can't get a babysitter. I told him that if his hellions ever cuss at me that I would swat their butts and will beat him and his wife if they dare to get smart or raise a hand at me.

I would say about 85% of the time I see black people with their children, any conversation between them is the parents cussing the kids out. I'm shocked when I hear a white person cuss their child.

When my son was a toddler, he was sooo slow walking and I had patience with him. I would stop and wait for him to catch up to me, and then when he get to me, I would say to him, "It's about time you get here, sweetheart" and my voice was loving towards him. I enjoyed those years and didn't realize that I was being watched by others.

Someone made a comment to me years later when they saw how tall my son had grown. They observed the little toddler trying to keep up with his mother and my loving response to him. And to this day, anyone who knows me would tell you that my son worships the ground I walk on.

I felt sorry for the poor kid who was cussed out by his dad.

My nephew and his wife are just as bad, always cussing their kids out. I've heard the little one-year old grandniece referred to as a "b*tch" or told to shut the f up. I got on my nephew one day and he didn't like it. I told him that's why he can't get a babysitter. I told him that if his hellions ever cuss at me that I would swat their butts and will beat him and his wife if they dare to get smart or raise a hand at me.

I would say about 85% of the time I see black people with their children, any conversation between them is the parents cussing the kids out. I'm shocked when I hear a white person cuss their child.


I hear ya, some whites do it too, they just do it in their own areas where we don't live

Yeah, white people can be just as brutal with their kids. I've seen white women who have interracial children do this and they are even worse. Nowadays with the violence towards children (did you hear about the poor children decapitated in Baltimore?) nothing surprises me.

That's why we have a generation of violent kids - they haven't been loved and nurtured enough. Too many single mothers allow no good men in their homes who physically and sexually abuse the children.

I have a niece who was cussed out so badly that I started spending time with her to show her love. We took her on vacation and I think the child had the time of her life. She loves her mother even with the cussing. I just pray that this does not affect her in the future.

I'm not going to be hypocritical and say that I have never cussed at my kids. I would be telling a lie. But I avoided it in public. Doesn't matter whether it was in public or private, God saw it. And eventually I stopped it because of my relationship with God, and I feel good about it. I learned that children thrive with love and acceptance and not with cussing and harsh criticism.

I really love other people kids not my own. Kids are so beautiful when you do not have to deal with 24 hours a day. LEt give you an example:

I was playing my ex-niece in law in Barbados, Her name is Delana. Delana would polietly pick up something and throw it on the ground and this went on for about 4 hours until I realized I was being played.

At that moment I realized I was not Fraternal nor a Father because the next Idea in my head was to get me some get back, lol.

But seriously, I think kids should be discplined in public if need be.

(I know yall say I am crazy so go ahead and let it out)

Hey Manasiac, brotha! It's been a while since we corresponded. I want to congratulate you on your 5 Rep Power points. How did you do it, Brotha?!

Oh yeah, and you made it abundantly clear to me that you did not want kids, so I will not holla at you on that.

Cedric Denson

I am 100% against abusing kids in public. If you want them to act well and behave in public, you teach them to do so before you bring them into public. Some kids do not separate their household and playground behavior from their public behavior. Teach them before you bring them in it. Such as playing hide-and-go-seek in public. They do it, but they are are taught not to do it in public. Teach them.

I am 100% against abusing kids in public. If you want them to act well and behave in public, you teach them to do so before you bring them into public. Some kids do not separate their household and playground behavior from their public behavior. Teach them before you bring them in it. Such as playing hide-and-go-seek in public. They do it, but they are are taught not to do it in public. Teach them.

EXACTLY!!!

My mother taught us rather than the usuall reactionary parenting technique of "yeah.....wait till my kid tries that.....I'll whip em good!!!" ...... how about teaching them that "that" behaviour is inapropriate before they do it???!!!???

Great post!!!

Thank you.


Violence is not always the answer, especially when dealing with kids. We do not whip them to make them smart do we? So we should not have to whip them to behave right.

Cedric Denson

When I was growing up, and my sister does the same thing now with her 2 kids... if we acted out in public, that was it. Trip over. No shopping. No fast food. No nothing. My sister's 6 year old.. once acted up in Blockbuster, where they were trying to rent him some video games. MY sister put those bad boys back on the shelf, got in the car, and drove home, ending with my nephew sitting alone in his room for 20 minutes, with no TV. my son is at the age were I'm waiting for that acting out stuff to begin. So far, he's quiet in public, until people get in his face and try to touch him.