Hello Family,

I grew up having to say these things and taught my children the same.

When children respond as above, is it a sign of respect?

Is it a sign of disrespect if they don't?

Do you teach / require your children to do this?

:heart:

Destee

Hello, I guess this is a new forum.

I am not a parent yet....SORRY. I'll just speak my peice and leave. I just wanted to give my perspective incase no one else comes from where I do.

I never had to call my parents or anyone Sir or Ma'am. This is actually a cultural thing and one can be perfectly respectful and never say it. Down in the US, especially the south, I guess the culture is that you do say those things.

People should teach their kids what is generally acceptble where they live I suppose. I personally will teach my future kids as I was taught. Everyone who is much older is Mr or Mrs__________ unless they say otherwize, then you call them as they want to be called. Mom and Dad are just that "mom(my) and dad(dy)". I will not require the word "sir" or "maam" added onto a yes or no response. JMO

I look forward to reading in this forum but wont post too often unless asked.

MrBlak ... Hello and Welcome! :wave:

Yes, this is a new forum, suggested by our Sister PurpleMoons. I appreciate you adding your views to this, and all the other forums you've been participating in. It's a pleasure to have you with us. Please don't hesitate in responding to any thread, in any forum. We want you to make yourself at home, because you are.

I agree that the Sir and Ma'am responses are no doubt a vestige of the south, here in the States. I'm sure it's the way slaves had to respond ... hmmmm ... thanks for giving me more to think about regarding this.

Much Love and Peace.

:heart:

Destee

I was'nt raised to to say the sirs/ma,ams either but was taught to respond
by saying yes and no instead of un huh and naw! I do my best to instill this in my children also. Kids today seem to be so caught up on speaking ebonics that they don't seem to understand that this language is foreign to our senoirs and is looked upon as disrepect. Just the other day while sitting on my porch, One of my many nephews was riding on a bike with out brakes. He jumped off the bike to keep from crashing and his bike rammed into the neighbors car, Who was also sitting on his porch and witness the whole thing.
Instead of my nephew apologizing the formal way, he says to the man, (oh! My bad!) I was furious! I asked him what was that? That is no way to apoligize for what had happened and commanded him to apoligize formally. Although I no he was sincere when he said this, which to him means the same thing as an apology, it just did'nt feel appropriate to me. Anyhow, every time I hear them speaking to an adult like they are their age, I,ll be sure to correct them on their responses. I'm their constant reminder and to them, I'm a big pain in the but! Hehehe!

Destee, I do/did not teach my daughter to say sir/mam either because it wasn't taught to me, nor was Yes/no instilled in me either but...common sense allowed me along with much growth to teach her the proper way to speak and answer her elders, ...I didn't stop there, I taught her to say yes/no to ALL young or old because Everyone is due respect...everyone. Even as I write...I have never disrespected my mother and she wasn't always right. And when she's around older people that totally show disrespect to her? I taught her to simply excuse herself...and just leave. Purplemoons you are so right about the language of the young, I also here things like:
hit me up, hip me on the hip, holla, dog, my bad, yo, and I can't remember all the things they say...but I do not allow it in my house period! :nono:
my reason for not allowing this kind of language in my house is because we (all of us aldults) don't need no future "yo's in the world...we need presidents.

i think it should be taught. i firmly believe in respect of elders no matter what language i am communicating in.

Yes ma'am and Yes Sir are words of respect. It was not common among the slaves. Upon approaching a woman centuries ago, men tipped their hats and would say, "Good afternoon, Ma'am!" They wouldn't even curse in front of women.

I was taught those courtesies and it has been passed down to my children. Any man or woman old enough to be my parents are addressed as "Mr. Jim" or "Miss Sue". The word "aunt" or "uncle" is used for my parents' siblings. My children refer to their grandparents as "Mom-Mom", "Grandmom" or "Pop-pop".
Everyone refers to my dad as "Pop".

I have no problem with using those titles and I know my kis do the same.

I hate that word "holla". My daughter uses it and it irritates me. Instead of her saying, "Mom, could you call me back when you get in?", she says, "Holla back!"

Manners and respect will get you far in life. There is nothing demeaning or slavish about these words.

My children tho still young and in training, have been taught to say yes/no sir, or yes/no maam. It just sounds better, and it does show respect to the adult.

Mr.Blak,
Please, your opinion counts to and I love to hear your feed back. So make yourself @ home alright :)

I've given Destee's question much thought and although I too was born and raised in the south, I was never expected to speak using "sir" or "ma'm" when communicating verbally to anyone, regardless of their age. I was however, taught to respond using titles for older people such as "Mr.", "Mrs." "aunt", "cousin", "uncle", etc. Although in many instances when it comes to family, we may often be allowed to use other terms of endearment and respect depending on the preferences of those to whom we speak to. When my mother's father was still alive, everyone always referred to him as "Papa" and that was acceptable to him and still considered respectful when his grandchildren called him that too. I don't see anything wrong with teaching your children to say "sir" or "ma'm" if that's what you like, although to me it sounds so...British...so I never chose to teach my daughter to speak that way. Then too, my daughter was raised in an entirely different environment than I was so knowing that, I didn't want white people having a slavery flashback and getting all confused if she happened to speak that way to them (cause I'd have to mess them up) so I taught her a different way to address adults.

Queenie :D

Yes Ma'am - Yes Sir - No Ma'am - No Sir!

It just shows that you were raised the right way, your parents were raised the right way, theit parents were raised the right way, and most of all, your kids were raised the right way.

It shows that parents are even able to tech their children the simplest bit of respect.

BETTER THAN YES MASSA...NO MASSA!

Cedric Denson

I was raised in the north with summers spent in the south with maternal grandparents. I was taught to say 'Yes Sir' and 'Ma'am' to my elders and to those whom I wanted to show special respect. The last part, which allows personal choice, is a key psychological response-ability no Black child should be without. I have found it to be the best way to command respect in every environment and institution I've been, whether it was in the governor's office, the miltary or the criminal justus system. I have taught my children (all adults now) to do the same.

Yes i was raised to say yes sir , yes ma'am respect my elders
even when they maybe wrong , I strongly teach my children this
as i was taught and as my parents was taught and this line runs
deep but i also was taught to not bow and holla yes sir to slave massa
children , in saying that i don't say sir or ma'am to whites but i do respect
all people as i want to be respected , i think every home should do it
but i know many don't or was not taught to do so .

I was raised to say yes mam, no mam.. to my grandparents.. and others of their generations. For other adults a simple yes or no will do.. verses the yea, or nah... or what. Tone is very inportant with all of these however..


However I do laugh when we complain about all the other euro influences.. and what has been inherited to us in form of language ans beliefs of them.. yet:

Sir-
Sir Used as an honorific before the given name or the full name of baronets and knights. (are we baronets or knights)
Used as a form of polite address for a man: Don't forget your hat, sir.
Used as a salutation in a letter: Dear Sir or Madam.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=sir

and the term Mam..
means mamma. Sounds slave like to me. callin your Masters wife your mama.

I wasn't raised to say Ma'am and Sir. But I was raised to be respectful to everyone, particularly those who are much older than I. Also, to say yes instead of yea, and to address my elders as Mr., Mrs., or Miss, not only using their first names. I've taught my children the same.
An odd thing though. Years ago, when my daughter was very young, my mother in law, at the time, told her it was okay with her, if my daughter called her by her first name. I was floored. I said, no way was she going to refer to her grandmother by her first name. I said that I would find that to be highly disrespectful. My response surprised her, but she grew to appreciate it.

However I do laugh when we complain about all the other euro influences.. and what has been inherited to us in form of language ans beliefs of them.. yet:

Sir-
Sir Used as an honorific before the given name or the full name of baronets and knights. (are we baronets or knights)
Used as a form of polite address for a man: Don't forget your hat, sir.
Used as a salutation in a letter: Dear Sir or Madam.
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=sir

and the term Mam..
means mamma. Sounds slave like to me. callin your Masters wife your mama.

That is a good point!