Sup everybody
I'm a newbie on this site and I had a question.

I wanted to know how brothas felt about dating sistas with natural hair (afro's, locs, twist etc). Some females I've talked to and know personally think mostly if not all brothas dislike sistas with natural hair and prefer the "premed" look (straight hair) females to them. They also say they receive more attention from white guys more then black guys. I wonder why?

Me personally, I admirer the "Afro centric" look in our women of color and see nothing wrong with how there hair looks. I think its sexier and different. Many brothas in my area have natural hairstyles but tend to be with straight hair sistas.I have locs and it's like a rare site to see a female around my age (i'm 19) with natural hair where I live.

Maybe its just me

Lucky

I agree. I love locs, twists and any natural hair on a sista. The problem is most sistas that I see perm the mess out of their hair. I think sistas do get more attention because their hair is straight because that's what's in. I myself love natural women more than permed because it's just better to be natural. Lose the make-up too sistas........you don't need it. :shades:

The natural look is just fine with me!! I love locks and twists. Some definitely look cute with a little fro or a blow-out type look. I have not prob with the permed look either.

As for your comment.....white people seem to love ethnic black hair styles. This is especially true of dreadlocks. A black person, male or female, that has locs will magnetize white people of the opposite sex very easily. I have seen this in action.

I have noticed this too MrBlak. I guess because it is so different than what they are accustomed to.

Sup everybody
I'm a newbie on this site and I had a question.

I wanted to know how brothas felt about dating sistas with natural hair (afro's, locs, twist etc). Some females I've talked to and know personally think mostly if not all brothas dislike sistas with natural hair and prefer the "premed" look (straight hair) females to them. They also say they receive more attention from white guys more then black guys. I wonder why?

Me personally, I admirer the "Afro centric" look in our women of color and see nothing wrong with how there hair looks. I think its sexier and different. Many brothas in my area have natural hairstyles but tend to be with straight hair sistas.I have locs and it's like a rare site to see a female around my age (i'm 19) with natural hair where I live.

Maybe its just me

Lucky

I too have noticed that brothas with Locks are not usually with sistas who have the same, but that could be because there are more sisters who are permed than those who are not. You know we be looking good either way chile...you know it. I am a natural sistah and my hubby loves it...thank God.

I agree. I love locs, twists and any natural hair on a sista. The problem is most sistas that I see perm the mess out of their hair. I think sistas do get more attention because their hair is straight because that's what's in. I myself love natural women more than permed because it's just better to be natural. Lose the make-up too sistas........you don't need it. :shades:


I hear ya bro. but every now and then I have to break down wit the make up. :D Forgive me.

i agree with you kente...i prefer the natural look to the western-look all day long...i especially love women with afro's because it is a statement against the visual images this country defines as being beautiful...any woman who is not afraid to let her natural hair grow without perming it, is ok with me...makeup is cool, just as long as it is not caked on like a actress in a stage play...the look of black people in the 70's is ideal to me...
one love
khasm

Well I have tried to date the Natrual Sister and she never is really into me because I do not have dreads or I am not an arm-chair revolutionary. So I tend to stick with my sisters who got perms, they seem to never have problems with me or what I wear or how I look.

Just an Opinion.

I remember a time not long ago, when you wore locks, then called Dredlocks, that white people were threatened by us wearing our hair that way.

My how things have changed

I wear my hair permed and that's my personal choice. The decision for a sistah to wear her hair natural is her personal choice.

To sum it all, it does not make me less black because of my hair choice.

And I could care less about how a black man feels about my hair. And I do wear lipstick. MY choice!

This is one pet peeve I have with black people. Does it make me a lesser black person because I perm my hair? And I see white people wearing braids and dreads...if they want to do it, more power to them.

I refuse to wear dreads and I get so **** tired of black people telling me that I would look good in dreads. No black man (or woman) better get in my face and tell me what to do with my hair.

I see black women with natural styles and that's fine. I have no problem with how the next sister wears her hair, just keep it well groomed.

We have to stop this! We need to stick with what we like and stop making it "gospel" for others.

I don't care what white people like in reference to my hair. I'm going to do it MY way.

I wear my hair permed and that's my personal choice. The decision for a sistah to wear her hair natural is her personal choice.

To sum it all, it does not make me less black because of my hair choice.

And I could care less about how a black man feels about my hair. And I do wear lipstick. MY choice!

This is one pet peeve I have with black people. Does it make me a lesser black person because I perm my hair? And I see white people wearing braids and dreads...if they want to do it, more power to them.

I refuse to wear dreads and I get so **** tired of black people telling me that I would look good in dreads. No black man (or woman) better get in my face and tell me what to do with my hair.

I see black women with natural styles and that's fine. I have no problem with how the next sister wears her hair, just keep it well groomed.

We have to stop this! We need to stick with what we like and stop making it "gospel" for others.

I don't care what white people like in reference to my hair. I'm going to do it MY way.
You are absolutely right. we brothas have every right to our preference, but it aint our hair so it would be retarded to tell yall how you should rock it. A woman comfortable with HER OWN STYLE, not trying to be what others tell her to is very attractive. :toast:

I still don't see how "WE" figure we can define what beauty is. I think beauty can be found in natural women and un-natural women. We get too caught up in how a person lQQks. Many of us may be turning away the perfect mate God has created for us because she has a perm, or she wears false nails...smh
It's all silly to me to define a person on what they wear or how they wear their hair. I believe that's why the divorce rate is so high. We lQQk for the wrong stuff in people. We get turned on because he's natural, or she has long st8 hair, and underneath all that, He or She may turn out to be a Fool...
I just wish we start lQQking @ the things that really count like the persons heart or their mind. Isn't that what God lQQks at???...Our hearts. I'm sure He wont be concerned if we processed, pressed, or permed. So I say don't let this world define what can't be defined. Beauty is many things. YOU are beauty with your locks, press, or perm. I mean if you wear Yacky, jus don't let it get Tacky, If you wear tracks, bond it good in the back..lol..If you wear it srt8 don't hesitate you lQQk gr8. If you wear a wig don't get it snatched off you dig? If you wear braids make sure it's laid, If you wear twists or locks keepin it natural still rocks!!! Be You...Be beauty, redefine and change peoples frame of mind.Don't ever let the world tell you different.

Feelin you vj57

I feel ya VJ. The Hair does not make the person. The Hair is Just Hair.

vj57...you replyed to this thread (in my opinion) as if you were personally attacted, and I'm sure from what I read, that wasn't the case. It was just a question of HOW not GOTTA wear their hair.

a NATURAL SISTA ......is her beauty skin deep not hair or shade of skin
she can be natural within i think too many look at the wrong things in dating
or finding a mate

Nah Queen she responded with some realness. I feel her post. I think she was just expressing her disgust in other situations on the forum. I get tired of people telling me I need dreads too.

so much bitterness when the talk of looking natural comes up...the willie lynch syndrome still has a hold on us as a people...all i'm saying(generally) is that i prefer a woman with minimum additions to her body...how do we feel about michael jackson and lil kim?...because to a lesser degree, women that perm their hair are akin to them...now don't get it twisted, i'm not telling anyone what to do with their body, but we must ,as a people, start reconizing things for what they really are if we are to move past them...
one love
khasm

Really, should we be getting all heated over hair? I think people were just stating what they like. No one said permed hair is for suckas. Even if someone did say that, it's their opinion. I myself rather date a woman with natural hair. The same way most women say they'd rather date a dude with a job. No one gets all bent out of shape about that. It's all about preference and no one is downing anyone as far as I can see. I don't think it is right for someone to try and change someone elses mind as far as hairstyles. To each his/her own. There are beautiful natural women as well as women with permed hair.

[QUOTE][QUOTE=MANASIAC]Nah Queen she responded with some realness. I feel her post. I think she was just expressing her disgust in other situations on the forum. I get tired of people telling me I need dreads to


I think she was just expressing her disgust in other situations on the forum.

But why should one pay for what somebody else did? I only steped to her aid because it seem to me like she (vj57) was about to explode. I could have replyed to this thread and really gave the 2-1-1 of what damage perming the hair is doing to the BRAIN, do anybody think that the LYE in these perms ...just sit on the hair? No! :nono: ...it gets in the pores and go straight to the BRAINS...
...but who's preaching, peace

to me it don't matter nappy head , straight hair , curls , breads , twist
she still natural and a Queen just different strokes for different folkz
so it don't mean one so right as to the other as being wrong keeping it real !

Uhhh :eeek: I didn't know that stuff get's in the pores and to the brain. That's bad. I guess it makes since though.

to each they own
beauty is found within
not by looks

i wear my hair natural and i also wear braids
far as the lye in perms goin through pours
i dont know bout all that i like to see some
proof on that one..i been doing hair over 15 years
and i have never saw a report like this so sister queentswana
can u enlighten us on this please

Angel

Vj Chillin Queen she is not fend to blow up. she was just typing.

vj57...you replyed to this thread (in my opinion) as if you were personally attacted, and I'm sure from what I read, that wasn't the case. It was just a question of HOW not GOTTA wear their hair.


lol I thought it was just me thinkin her reply was a little defensive.

The information that you requested is in "keita's forum, being that he is an historian, re-searcher and schalor ...he provided all and any information you need on chemicals of the hair. It's very important that anyone who ever relaxed their hair should read this artical.
vj57...
manaisac...
maybe after reading this you will understand better about what I was attemping to say. please take the time to read this very important information ...and I thank you in advance.

inter at..."keita's forum-poet of the month"

I hear you, perm does seep into the pores and sits on the brain.
Jus like smoking makes your lungs black and will Kill you.
Drinking eats up the liver
And so many other things we do to ourselves that are not natural, but it's all a choice, a personal choice. Thru that the person is Still the same.






[QUOTE][QUOTE=MANASIAC]Nah Queen she responded with some realness. I feel her post. I think she was just expressing her disgust in other situations on the forum. I get tired of people telling me I need dreads to


I think she was just expressing her disgust in other situations on the forum.

But why should one pay for what somebody else did? I only steped to her aid because it seem to me like she (vj57) was about to explode. I could have replyed to this thread and really gave the 2-1-1 of what damage perming the hair is doing to the BRAIN, do anybody think that the LYE in these perms ...just sit on the hair? No! :nono: ...it gets in the pores and go straight to the BRAINS...
...but who's preaching, peace

No black person in their right mind chooses death over life, unless their minds have been tampered with from childhood. Therefore the choice they made was not actually a personal choice but a choice that was implanted within them. this would in effect make their choice appear to be a personal one when it was infact a choice foreign to their life process.

As someone who has done many, many things to her hair over the years, I feel the need to speak.

I had the whole press n curl thing form the time i could walk until I was 8. Got a pern at 8, had one until I was 17. Had a wild, unruly 'fro until I was 21. I permed again. At 24 (my birthday present to myself) I cut that stuff out of my head. Do I feel different? Not really, because it's just hair.

However, I've noticed some differences of how I'm treated by males depending upon how i wear my hair. I lived in DC for a year.. Went from permed to natural in that time. When I was permed, I was approached like, "Ay, yo, shawty. Roll me them digits." When I went natural, I got more of a "My sista! Please acompany me to the Poetry Slam this weekend?"

My husband loves natural hair.. on other people. He raves about Whoopi's dreads, Cassandra Wilson's loc's....but asked me 5 million times why I cut my hair because his idea woman is supposed to look like a video chick, with a perfect body, long, "good" hair, etc........ Folks get so caught up in the package they forget to open it up and try it on for size....

i know that no one has really talked about this one in a while but i just wanted to say. umm.....

i went natural april of last year and i cannot begin to tell you how many people tell me... all the time how cute i was when my hair was before i cut it. i would nice with it long again because it'll grow fairly long.

family, friends, people who know me from radio. for a while it really bothered me but i finally had to let what other people thought go. it was driving me crazy.

my boyfriend will never admit this to me but i see the way he stares at me when my hair is pressed as opposed to just being in some variation of a fro, braids or twists!

AND IT'S A **** SHAME I CAN'T WALK AROUND WITH THE HAIR THE GOOD LORD GAVE ME WITHOUT SOMEONE COMMENTING ABOUT THAT NATURAL THING!

i have "good hair", forgive me for saying it, i know the sistas with "hard hair" feel it worse.
Stay up and be easy Sistas!
You are beautiful the way God made you!

Oh and BTW, Natural means natural, no i don't want to put a texturizer in it! that's not Natural!

sorry now i'm going back to my norm self!
LOL

ifucomesofly

I love natural hair; in fact I prefer it you lovely black sisters. Black women are the most beautiful creatures (not as in insects and fish) on the planet. Unfortunately, television and society as a whole has told you that you need long flowing hair or even worse blonde hair (UGHH) to be pretty. Ladies you just don't know how pretty you REALLY are....

I have to second that. I love natural women. That's so sexy.....you can't even imagine. It doesn't even mean you're unkept, but just not full of fake chemicals and extensions and things like that. Just 100% beauty. You have to appreciate that.

Natural women are the sexiest thing on Earth. The natty-dred sista with a head-wrap or a sista with the Angela Davis fro' be my type of women.

And why aren't any of you natural hair loving brothas in Michigan for the upteenth time? :) J/K I'm glad to see that so many brothas will get to know a sista, not just stop at the package and try to make judgement calls.

I'm one of those brothers with lots of 9 ether spirals (<--only a few know) and I seem to only attract sisters with straights...What's up with that? I've seen so many beautiful black women with natty hair but they always seem to be taken...Guess that speaks volumes. I try to hang with the straighty's but usually we don't have much in common by way of lifestyle because say what you want, but your hair is often a symbol of where your conciousness/mind is (pun intended). Except those fashionably natural people...that's another thread.

I've dabbled into the natural look. (I prefer 2 sport a really fierce precision cut) but I did the loc/twist thing. A lot of brothas who wore dreads themselves were feeling that. But then, some thought I was trying 2 get back on the SHIP or something! And wouldn't give me the time of day! I think it is a beautiful look especially on our darker complexioned sistahs and brothas. This is just my feeling, but I also think that some brothas aren't into the look because the sista who wears it embodies STRENGTH/ATTITUDE and for some men that's like a threat. -And white people did seem to be threatened by this look in the workplace not too long ago and it probably was the STRENGTH/ATTITUDE thing going on there as well. White men have told me that it looks EXOTIC. -that's their word for it. Some are attracted to us overly tanned exotic sistas. Forgive me for talking too much but last thing:

On a show called the "Hook-up" comes on TV ONE(BET Like Network) a brotha from cleveland had to choose 1 out 3 beautiful sistas, 2 who wore natural styles......That brotha chose the lighter-skinned sistah with the natural curly and she rejected him and chose the 1,000 dollar check behind door #1! What's up with that!

Sup everybody

I wanted to know how brothas felt about dating sistas with natural hair (afro's, locs, twist etc). Some females I've talked to and know personally think mostly if not all brothas dislike sistas with natural hair and prefer the "premed" look (straight hair) females to them. They also say they receive more attention from white guys more then black guys. I wonder why?

Lucky


Word of Advice my sistah:

DO NOT change for anyone. If you like your Natural hairstyle, keep it that way. If one group of men do not like you because of how you look....there is bound to be another group that will like you for both who you are and how your hairstyle is. Believe it.

You do not need to impress ANYONE!

You are God's Gift to women. It should not be up to them to determine how you should look. Stay the way you are.

Cedric Denson

Personally I love sisters period. Straight hair or natural hair.
However, I just love to see a sister with her hair natural. I think it brings out her natural beauty and self confidence.

Perception is a motherf'er. I've heard some sisters say that brothers won't pay them any mind if they didn't straighten their hair. Not true. Although there are some men who do tell their women that, they are personally dealing with some insecurities themselves in being black.

Black men are not going to stop dating and sleeping with and procreating with black women if all black women got up one morning and decided to wear their hair natural. It's a personal insecurity on both black men and black women's minds that lead them to believe that natural hair is not attractive. We don't need white people to validate what is acceptable in our culture.

It's known that black women have a lot of booty, and black men love them for that. We black men almost always expect to see some booty on a sister when we meet or just see them. We black men also love our black women with some meat on their bones, which is contrary to the standard of beauty in white culture. So....what I'm gettin at is that, we as black people set the standard as to what is socially acceptable within our culture. We validate our own existence, when it comes to our women's divine physiques. Once we begin validating the whole natural hair issue, then other people will respect that as well.

White people know we spend most of our time running around trying to act like them and they find it amusing (see the scene with the mob boss in Spike Lee's latest film "She Hate Me"). The straight hair thing is an insecurity we have as black people, not white society telling us we have to straighten our hair.
And that's just the Truth Ruth.

You can slide me someone with a do or whatever, I could care less, as long as she aint evil as hell. She will be floating in the ocean if so, dreads or not, natural or not.

Word of Advice my sistah:

DO NOT change for anyone. If you like your Natural hairstyle, keep it that way. If one group of men do not like you because of how you look....there is bound to be another group that will like you for both who you are and how your hairstyle is. Believe it.

You do not need to impress ANYONE!

You are God's Gift to women. It should not be up to them to determine how you should look. Stay the way you are.

Cedric Denson

Lucky= Brother. I'm a dude.

i greatly prefer women with natural hair.

Im probably going to be alone on this but I've been attracted to many sistas who cut off most of their hair (remember the group Zhane?)

This goes to show there is somebody for everybody.

i love natural hair, it says character, priciple, and shows a womens natural beuty.my favorite is the angela davis fro-sexy, love the twist and sun look. black people dnt have str8 hair(which is why we can do so much wit it) so stop tryin, that goes for al sharpton, dj quik, snoop dogg, and james brown also......

Im probably going to be alone on this but I've been attracted to many sistas who cut off most of their hair (remember the group Zhane?)

Why did Lauren Hill scalp herself. She was so beautiful with her locs. Man, she was perfect. Anyway, I agree.....weaves, extensions, perms, wigs...are just plain ugly IMO. If I can pull it out it probably shouldn't be in there. :smash: IMO...those things make women look insecure..like make-up, push-up bras, implants, face lifts, bo-tox, excessively longfake nails, color contacts etc.

Lauren is still natural with her little fro...

Why did Lauren Hill scalp herself. She was so beautiful with her locs. Man, she was perfect. Anyway, I agree.....weaves, extensions, perms, wigs...are just plain ugly IMO. If I can pull it out it probably shouldn't be in there. :smash: IMO...those things make women look insecure..like make-up, push-up bras, implants, face lifts, bo-tox, excessively longfake nails, color contacts etc.




Yo dawg, as long as she stays natural, she's alright with me but I do think she look better with them locs. I do feel you, Im just not feelin' women who perm or press their hair, wear contact lens and alot of make-up.

yeah I hate that

Well I started out natural. My mother wouldn't :nono: put any chemicals in my hair. She wouldn't even str8en it. I used to beg her too. I had long thick, curly hair too. Finally I permed it when I was like 14. That lasted all but a year. It looked nice but when I wanted it to curl it wouldn't, my hair started breaking off cause the perm was too strong and I used regular. Through high school I mostly wore braids. :( But the perm had damaged my hair and the texture was gone. When I got in college, I was 18 I did the big chop :jumping: :jumping: :jumping: . For those of you that don't know that's when you cut all your hair off before gettin your hair locked up. Then I started locking. I had to cut them last oct. so now I'm back to the beginning. I cut all of my hair off again and now it's a baby fro. But it's really curly. I'll be getting it twisted on friday. So this is the beginning of locing all over again. Man :o. It's gonna take forever. But any way. I love being natural. It's such freedom. Alot of people say their hair don't act right if it's not permed, for me, my hair don't act right unless it's natural. I'm Nappy and absolutely happy :spin: .


Poetic Sista

So why did you cut your locks Poeticsoulsista?
How long were they b4 you cut'em?

They were just getting to my shoulder. I cut them off because I was starting a whole new everything. I wanted a new beginning. With me my hair is a spiritual connection to God, who I am and who I want to be. When I have a new beginning I like to cut my locs and start fresh. It's like .... I don't want the stress I had before my new beginning on my shoulders. There was so much going on at that time, I need to feel free and serene. When I cut them, It was like breathing again. So When I start them on friday. I'm gonna go through my ritual, have them blessed by my best friend probably and then take my vow of 5 years. :confused: May be. I'm still meditating on how long I'm gonna keep them. Every time I change my locs change. It's like a rebirth well not rebirth more like my next level in my rites of passage.

Poetic Sista

I am a natural sister..and my love..loves it... i have a pic on here of it in the family picture album :) :)

Sup everybody
I'm a newbie on this site and I had a question.

I wanted to know how brothas felt about dating sistas with natural hair (afro's, locs, twist etc). Some females I've talked to and know personally think mostly if not all brothas dislike sistas with natural hair and prefer the "premed" look (straight hair) females to them. They also say they receive more attention from white guys more then black guys. I wonder why?

Me personally, I admirer the "Afro centric" look in our women of color and see nothing wrong with how there hair looks. I think its sexier and different. Many brothas in my area have natural hairstyles but tend to be with straight hair sistas.I have locs and it's like a rare site to see a female around my age (i'm 19) with natural hair where I live.

Maybe its just me

Lucky

Yes, it is strange. When my hair was in braids, I get a lot of compliments from whites, while getting rude remarks from some blacks. I was younger though, so a lot of that could've been because of the immature nature of adolescents.

As far as black men and natural hair... I think the black community in general is uptight about kinky hair. Other races don't seem to be as bothered by it, but then again blacks are the only race on the planet that have received such stigma for how God/Nature decided to make their hair.

I've noticed black women with natural hair tend to gravitate towards white men and vice versa to be honest, except for braids.

Yes, it is strange. When my hair was in braids, I get a lot of compliments from whites, while getting rude remarks from some blacks. I was younger though, so a lot of that could've been because of the immature nature of adolescents.

As far as black men and natural hair... I think the black community in general is uptight about kinky hair. Other races don't seem to be as bothered by it, but then again blacks are the only race on the planet that have received such stigma for how God/Nature decided to make their hair.
We are the only people on Earth who have kinky hair. No one else has hair like to ours. Personally, it makes me feel good to have hair that curls up so tight that Moses couldn't part it. There's nothing like the feeling when a man runs his finger gently along the furrows of my cornrows or a white girl touches my fro and says wow it's so soft. How did you get it so soft? I said I use Downey.

Black women that are natural are as beautiful as beautiful gets. I mean, there's nothing better than a woman that you can wake up next to and look right into her beautiful face, without her jumping up and running to the bathroom first. Black women have beautiful hair and should stay away from all the chemicals and poison that makes it break down and fall out. There's nothing good about straight hair IMO. I love braids, curly hair, cornrows, locs and all that....and so do most people, whether they say it or not. :dj:

umm... to apply some vadidation to 'perms', or what they really are--relaxers, damaging hair... my grandmother has done hair for over fifty years and my mother for over twenty... i have a great deal of cousins and other family members that 'do' hair as well... essentially i've been around quite a few beauty shops in my day... most stylists that i know say that they don't see any long term effects... i don't buy that ish

the way my mind works.... i started to think why are all these sisters getting relaxers ever FOUR or FIVE weeks... i mean come on... your scalp aught to be irritated... there are no long term clinical trials to tell me that it isn't harmful... and why are a lot of black women's hair thinning and balding out... it cannot all hereditary... something in the milk ain't clean...

a woman should be able to wear her hair as she pleases... however... i would beg these sisters to relax on the relexers... once every (at least) 6 to 8 or hopefully 10 weeks unless you have a short cut... then it would prolly have to be 6...

umm... to apply some vadidation to 'perms', or what they really are--relaxers, damaging hair... my grandmother has done hair for over fifty years and my mother for over twenty... i have a great deal of cousins and other family members that 'do' hair as well... essentially i've been around quite a few beauty shops in my day... most stylists that i know say that they don't see any long term effects... i don't buy that ish

the way my mind works.... i started to think why are all these sisters getting relaxers ever FOUR or FIVE weeks... i mean come on... your scalp aught to be irritated... there are no long term clinical trials to tell me that it isn't harmful... and why are a lot of black women's hair thinning and balding out... it cannot all hereditary... something in the milk ain't clean...

a woman should be able to wear her hair as she pleases... however... i would beg these sisters to relax on the relexers... once every (at least) 6 to 8 or hopefully 10 weeks unless you have a short cut... then it would prolly have to be 6...

I agree, some sisters I know relax their hair everytime it has a few kinks in it, and they use "super" on top of that:nono: The furthest I'll go is a coarse childrens relaxer, and I have a head full of hair.....don't want the wispy look, just enough to straighten it in order to do most hairstyles. I do my roots every 8 weeks if desired.

The natural look is just fine with me!! I love locks and twists. Some definitely look cute with a little fro or a blow-out type look. I have not prob with the permed look either.

As for your comment.....white people seem to love ethnic black hair styles. This is especially true of dreadlocks. A black person, male or female, that has locs will magnetize white people of the opposite sex very easily. I have seen this in action.

They do seem to love it <natural hair> I have locks, and I get comments and that many more inquiries on how I did it, does it hurt, how long has it been growing...are they braids?....lol!!!!! they just love it...i've often wondered does my hair intimidate guys, do i seem too bold, too brave because i went beyond the realm of what others think of my hair? funny thing.

Sup everybody
I'm a newbie on this site and I had a question.

I wanted to know how brothas felt about dating sistas with natural hair (afro's, locs, twist etc). Some females I've talked to and know personally think mostly if not all brothas dislike sistas with natural hair and prefer the "premed" look (straight hair) females to them. They also say they receive more attention from white guys more then black guys. I wonder why?

Me personally, I admirer the "Afro centric" look in our women of color and see nothing wrong with how there hair looks. I think its sexier and different. Many brothas in my area have natural hairstyles but tend to be with straight hair sistas.I have locs and it's like a rare site to see a female around my age (i'm 19) with natural hair where I live.

Maybe its just me

Lucky


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Yes, it is strange. When my hair was in braids, I get a lot of compliments from whites, while getting rude remarks from some blacks. I was younger though, so a lot of that could've been because of the immature nature of adolescents.

As far as black men and natural hair... I think the black community in general is uptight about kinky hair. Other races don't seem to be as bothered by it, but then again blacks are the only race on the planet that have received such stigma for how God/Nature decided to make their hair.

I've noticed black women with natural hair tend to gravitate towards white men and vice versa to be honest, except for braids.


Karma, sadly, what you and OBA state is truer than Blacks would like to admit. As you said, whites are in awe over it because they don't understand how such "kinky" hair can be incredibly soft(softer than theirs),

The gravitation of Sisters with natural hair to white men that Oba witnesses is actually an illusion. Most Brothers are not checking for natural hair. Plain & Simple. I know some people who claim to like natural hair vs. relaxed because with natural hair, it can be straightened without chemicals.

It would be nice if we can just forget our hairstory and move on in life. In the end we can still function with or without hair:sand:

Humans tend to base our lack of evidence on this miniscule life-time. The effects of that burning poison are rubbed deep into your scalp, which lies just above your brain and right within your crown chakra. Right off the bat, it sounds like a bad idea. The difference is there. It's just a matter of whether we notice it or not. Like not noticing the difference of being a vegetarian until you stop eating meat and become one. And then taking in the genetic implications. No need for it what-so-ever other than the superficial, imaginary quality of life for which one hopes.
If someone led me to do that, I would also question my leader as many women unfortunately feel the need to do.
I love my wife’s locks. Beautiful!! But if she ever cut them off I wouldn't appreciate running my hand over a head more bald than my own. But some women ARE indeed beautiful with low cuts. Same goes for perms. I just can't see validating it.

Humans tend to base our lack of evidence on this miniscule life-time. The effects of that burning poison are rubbed deep into your scalp, which lies just above your brain and right within your crown chakra. Right off the bat, it sounds like a bad idea. The difference is there. It's just a matter of whether we notice it or not. Like not noticing the difference of being a vegetarian until you stop eating meat and become one. And then taking in the genetic implications. No need for it what-so-ever other than the superficial, imaginary quality of life for which one hopes.
If someone led me to do that, I would also question my leader as many women unfortunately feel the need to do.
I love my wife’s locks. Beautiful!! But if she ever cut them off I wouldn't appreciate running my hand over a head more bald than my own. But some women ARE indeed beautiful with low cuts. Same goes for perms. I just can't see validating it.

It's good you are one of the few Brothers who can appreciate natural hair on Black women (not natural as in ramen-noodle type wavy or spiraled, or coiled hair, but kinky, afro pick type hair). I was only telling the truth, as 80% of BW straighten their hair, be it by heat or chemicals.

my wife has braids and looks great.

So, is the criteria on which you Brothas base your attraction more wholistic than us Sistas realize? I'd like to know whether or not my theory is correct.

Thanks! :)

-Aglo
it is for the high end brother.

So, is the criteria on which you Brothas base your attraction more wholistic than us Sistas realize? I'd like to know whether or not my theory is correct.

Thanks! :)

-Aglo
it is for the high end brother.

Okay, well what about the AVERAGE Brotha?
most cats are looking at the total package and the vibe.

It's good you are one of the few Brothers who can appreciate natural hair on Black women (not natural as in ramen-noodle type wavy or spiraled, or coiled hair, but kinky, afro pick type hair). I was only telling the truth, as 80% of BW straighten their hair, be it by heat or chemicals.

Point well taken, Sis. I was just speaking in general.
Our people seem to see it like this: if you can't grow it, sew it. If you can't achieve it, weave it. If you can't earn it, perm it (I could prolly come up with a few more :) ). Everyone is not the same as everyone else. Just bc the majority of brothas tend to lend attention to the 7-8 Ether hair (e.g., Brazilians, Ethiopians, etc), doesn't make the stronger, kinkier 9 Ether hair any less beautiful. And a perm won't get you any closer to that anyway. Their hair is still alive. It still conducts. Perms just kill the hair (But I suppose I could see the potential desire to want to manipulate it into styles and such).

Beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. And I would wager that plenty of Bros like plenty of different types of Women. And if he can't appreciate a Black woman rightfully proud of her natural hair, is this someone she wants? He's doing you a favor by showing his true self before you even speak. jmo

When I was a bit less mature, I would always associate a natural sister with "conscious" or "stronger minded." Not someone I would approach if all I was interested in was "some." So, maybe that's what some on this site are experiencing. I don't know.

I would appreciate one of our beautiful sistas with perms to break down how they feel when their perm "grows out," when they perm their hair, and after it's straightened. Not judgmental at all, just genuinely interested. "How does it make you feeeel?" :rolleyes:

Point well taken, Sis. Oui, tres bien. I was just speaking in general.
Our people seem to see it like this: if you can't grow it, sew it. If you can't achieve it, weave it. If you can't earn it, perm it (I could prolly come up with a few more :) ). Yes, very familiar with those urban terms. LOL I have the length though Everyone is not the same as everyone else. Just bc the majority of brothas tend to lend attention to the 7-8 Ether hair (e.g., Brazilians, Ethiopians, etc), doesn't make the stronger, kinkier 9 Ether hair any less beautiful. So sweet, I agree. And a perm won't get you any closer to that anyway.That's what many people mistakingly believe, that's impossible, unless you already have a finer grade of hair. Their hair is still alive. Interesting, most folks grow up believing it's just dead protein. It still conducts. Does it conduct only on the ends, or on any part of the hair strand? Perms just kill the hair (But I suppose I could see the potential desire to want to manipulate it into styles and such).

Beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. Glad you think outside the box:look: And I would wager that plenty of Bros like plenty of different types of Women. And if he can't appreciate a Black woman rightfully proud of her natural hair, is this someone she wants? He's doing you a favor by showing his true self before you even speak. I Agree. jmo

When I was a bit less mature, I would always associate a natural sister with "conscious" or "stronger minded." Not someone I would approach if all I was interested in was "some." Not you personally, but I figured that. So, maybe that's what some on this site are experiencing. The Sisters....most likely. I don't know.

I would appreciate one of our beautiful sistas with perms to break down how they feel when their perm "grows out," I don't feel bad when my growth comes in. I haven't relaxed in 6 months, been wearing braids, and other styles. The relaxer I have in my hair is so mild that I can wet it, and some kink will still be there, or to give it the straightness, it would require a few strokes of a brush. when they perm their hair, and after it's straightened. Not a major difference. I'm a water baby, so now that my hair is relaxed, I must maintain it that way or chop the relaxed part off....which I don't want to. My hair has grown too long to do that. Not judgmental at all, just genuinely interested.umm hmm....:devil: "How does it make you feeeel?" You funny:lol: :rolleyes:

Here is another question for the Brothas to tag along with the main question:

Do you men really care all that much what a woman wears, hairstyle, make-up, etc? How high do these things rate in the area of attraction?

My guess is not very. Based on my experiences and observations, it is women who are so concerned about these things. I think we as women spend a lot of energy subconsciously to please other women.

When I cut off my perm and started locking, it was women who had the most to say about it. The older women in my family for the most part expressed disapproval. Now that my locks are shoulder-length, they are more accepting. The men in my life have seemed indifferent.

Same with clothes, accessories, and make-up. I stopped stressing over these things, because I've come to the conclusion that men have higher proirities when it comes to being attracted to women--like body type, features, health, lifestyle and personality. In other words, it's not so much the hairstyles, clothes, and cosmetics we choose, but how these things coordinate with the total pacakage.

So, is the criteria on which you Brothas base your attraction more wholistic than us Sistas realize? I'd like to know whether or not my theory is correct.

Thanks! :)

-Aglo


agian, there will be folks who disagree but....20 years of teaching inner city kids affirms for me " Based on my experiences and observations, it is "women" who are so concerned about these things."

When it comes to clothes are "style" I Do think, at lleast for me, HOW a woman dresses IS important. Why" Because it is also important HOW I dress. I am happily from the days of "dress to impress" and am in no way a "tennis shoe pimp"....You don't have to be flashy but I don't run with folks who are trashy.

personally....i love Queens....permed, nappy, straight...etc......long as it aint bright orange, red, white, purple with streaks, blond or someother unnatural color......yuuuuckkk

it is weird, tho....I do love sistas closer to natural, and if the sistas got a afro, I just lose it...i mean that hits me on some past-life, subconscious level...i just feel more affinityand love towards her for some strange reason....maybe because she is buckin the trend of black hair being permed....that rebellion thing, that's so sexy...
.
But just becaue a sistas got a afro or dreads, does'nt necessarily mean she is conscious or elevated. you can find a drunk sista in a bar with dreads these days.....

Ive dated both natural and un-naturals.....to me, it's what's inside the head that turns me on, rather than the hairstyle.....I tend to leave that up to the women to decide.

long as it aint day-glo orange.

I have natural hair. For years before my dicision to become natural, I tried to do the salon thing.. 6 hours everyother sat in a chair. Empty pockets to the tune of 120.00 month. It was freeing to be natural. It freed up time in my life to enjoy things. Because of this savings I was able to pay down some bills become nearly debtfree. All because I was able to be me. I learned all over again how to deal with my natural hair. I have be wearing sisterlocs for one year and prior to locking I was natural for 3 years. I get much attention from sisters saying they wish to have the courage to do the same but for what ever reason they decide not to.

I have noticed that everysince I went natural I haven't been dating. It's been almost 4 years since I had a relationship. lol I can't say it's because of my hair, but I have less men in my area that want a women natural. I am in a profession where most black people try to fit in. Very few people of color in the profession so I tend to be very different than the norm.

This is my first time posting and I have enjoyed reading what others have written on the subject.

I have natural hair. For years before my dicision to become natural, I tried to do the salon thing.. 6 hours everyother sat in a chair. Empty pockets to the tune of 120.00 month. It was freeing to be natural. It freed up time in my life to enjoy things. Because of this savings I was able to pay down some bills become nearly debtfree. All because I was able to be me. I learned all over again how to deal with my natural hair. I have be wearing sisterlocs for one year and prior to locking I was natural for 3 years. I get much attention from sisters saying they wish to have the courage to do the same but for what ever reason they decide not to.

I have noticed that everysince I went natural I haven't been dating. It's been almost 4 years since I had a relationship. lol I can't say it's because of my hair, but I have less men in my area that want a women natural. I am in a profession where most black people try to fit in. Very few people of color in the profession so I tend to be very different than the norm.

This is my first time posting and I have enjoyed reading what others have written on the subject.
i got your back.
i think you are doing the right thing.
hang in there with you natural self and i hope the dating situation will go in your favor.
good luck and peace.

I wonder how the Brother's feel about a woman who has processed and/or extensioned hair, yet, wears no make-up or skazzy attire? Is that as 'natural' in any way?

I wonder how the Brother's feel about a woman who has processed and/or extensioned hair, yet, wears no make-up or skazzy attire? Is that as 'natural' in any way?
i think natural is the hair that grows out of your head.

I'm aware of the definition of 'natural hair". I probably shouldn't have "hijacked" the convo from natural hair to overall naturalness:oops:

My badd...

I probably shouldn't have "hijacked" the convo from natural hair to overall naturalness

naturalness is good, as long as you can agree on what that is.......

when you speak of sistas who are let's say plain which is a different concept
then natural .
spicy pose the question in a new thread .

so much bitterness when the talk of looking natural comes up...the willie lynch syndrome still has a hold on us as a people...all i'm saying(generally) is that i prefer a woman with minimum additions to her body...how do we feel about michael jackson and lil kim?...because to a lesser degree, women that perm their hair are akin to them...now don't get it twisted, i'm not telling anyone what to do with their body, but we must ,as a people, start reconizing things for what they really are if we are to move past them...
one love
khasm
Tell it like it is. brotha Khasm.

I've heard people who smoke cigatettes say the same thing. They don't want to hear about cancer and second hand smoke and the awful smell. They say "It's my body. I'm just exercising my right to pleasure. I am a consenting adult. I can do what I want with my money." Anything but "I'm adducted." This analogy is very valid when you consider that the chemicals of hair relaxers don't just sit on the hair. They seep under the skin and even into and under the skull. But just like smokers sistas who feel they must perm their hair don't want to hear about the damage they are dong to themselves.

So I applaud brothas who spread the word that sistas don't have to do this damage to themselves--that their own natural beauty is not only acceptable but preferred.

Those of us who embrace an afrocentric standard of beauty should not feel surprised if we get flack from those who still embrace the eurocentric standard. For so long we have been bombardded with eurocentric images of beauty. For so long we have been rejected because of our curly hair and dark skin. That kind of programming is not going to just go away overnight. It takes courage to wake up.

The degree to which bw try to fit in and be like every other "race" just sickens me.

Sad no longer works. Nothing short of Confused, Crazy, and Blatantly Insane will do.

*Nauseous* :puke2:

Especially when perming hair becomes a "right of passage" in our homes. As if the young girls aren't beautiful without it.

Utterly disgusting, really.

The degree to which bw try to fit in and be like every other "race" just sickens me.

Sad no longer works. Nothing short of Confused, Crazy, and Blatantly Insane will do.

*Nauseous* :puke2:

Especially when perming hair becomes a "right of passage" in our homes. As if the young girls aren't beautiful without it.

Utterly disgusting, really.


Indeed brother. This is why I have made the decision that this perpetual cycle of self-hate stops with me, with my generation, and will not be passed on to my children. It would literally kill me to tell (or see my future wife tell) my daughter than she needs to fry her God-given hair. I simply won't allow it.

I wonder how the Brother's feel about a woman who has processed and/or extensioned hair, yet, wears no make-up or skazzy attire? Is that as 'natural' in any way?

That isn't what I would call "natural". You simply haven't accentuated your appearance, where you are probably already visually pleasing so that you don't have to. If you look good without the makeup, then I am sure you would be stunning with natural hair.

True indeed, to the last 4 posts.

PEACE

call me crazy, i like nappy hair, always have.....

Point well taken, Sis. I was just speaking in general.
Our people seem to see it like this: if you can't grow it, sew it. If you can't achieve it, weave it. If you can't earn it, perm it (I could prolly come up with a few more :) ). Everyone is not the same as everyone else. Just bc the majority of brothas tend to lend attention to the 7-8 Ether hair (e.g., Brazilians, Ethiopians, etc), doesn't make the stronger, kinkier 9 Ether hair any less beautiful. And a perm won't get you any closer to that anyway. Their hair is still alive. It still conducts. Perms just kill the hair (But I suppose I could see the potential desire to want to manipulate it into styles and such).

Beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. And I would wager that plenty of Bros like plenty of different types of Women. And if he can't appreciate a Black woman rightfully proud of her natural hair, is this someone she wants? He's doing you a favor by showing his true self before you even speak. jmo

When I was a bit less mature, I would always associate a natural sister with "conscious" or "stronger minded." Not someone I would approach if all I was interested in was "some." So, maybe that's what some on this site are experiencing. I don't know.

I would appreciate one of our beautiful sistas with perms to break down how they feel when their perm "grows out," when they perm their hair, and after it's straightened. Not judgmental at all, just genuinely interested. "How does it make you feeeel?" :rolleyes:
Brotha Sefirot,

I remember when I used to perm my hair and when the roots grew I would feel trapped. I knew the perm was damaging my hair. I was scared to wash it there would be so much hair in the tub. But I knew if I didn't get a touch up the point where the perm met my natural hair would weaken and break off anyway. So I was dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. But when I wash my natural hair it never comes out.

I feel what you are saying. My hair lets a weak minded, unconscious man know from a radius of 25 miles not to come near me. It doesn't bother me if only one man in a room full of men likes natural hair cuz one is all I need.

That isn't what I would call "natural". You simply haven't accentuated your appearance, where you are probably already visually pleasing so that you don't have to. If you look good without the makeup, then I am sure you would be stunning with natural hair.

Well, I am what you would call 'visually natural'. My hair is processed, but not so much so where you can "TELL". In other words; not relaxed to the max, and not as of late. Everything else... natural. Most sisters wouldn't admit this; but if I want a drastic change of look, I may get a piece... extension... or wig, but won't go way out on my OWN hair

in my opinion natual hair is a statement especially in the united states. plus sisters look sooooooooooooooo sexy with it drives me crazy!!! especially a big afro that is to hooooT.

I remember when I used to perm my hair and when the roots grew I would feel trapped. I knew the perm was damaging my hair. I was scared to wash it there would be so much hair in the tub. But I knew if I didn't get a touch up the point where the perm met my natural hair would weaken and break off anyway. So I was dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. But when I wash my natural hair it never comes out.
I feel you. Sounds like a tough place to be. Seems like it would get to that point with more of our Sisters...where the solution eventually appears clear.
Even my uncle shaved his curl this year. And he's had it literally for as long as I've known him. If he can snap out of it there's still hope :)

I was listening to Mike Baisden. He had a caller on talking about how you give up smoking just like you start it...with one cigarette. She said she was a habitual chain smoker, and one day she was without a lighter. She continued that her solution was to dig in the toaster for a light. I could imagine her hand getting burned when the cigarette dropped in and shaking the toaster...anyway, it was then that she realized she was an addict, and unnecessarily so. It didn't make sense. So she just quit.
I feel what you are saying. My hair lets a weak minded, unconscious man know from a radius of 25 miles not to come near me. It doesn't bother me if only one man in a room full of men likes natural hair cuz one is all I need.
I applaud you, Sis. You do the thang :lift:
But it bothers me to no end when there is only one woman in a room full of women who likes natural hair (actually even that's so rare that I'd probably appreciate it just the same). Seems like it should be the other way around where there are only a handful with perms and such. We've got to get there somehow. I just can't imagine how. Like either it's going to be extremely gradual, or something sporadic is going to happen to shake the reality into the lot of us all.

in my opinion natual hair is a statement especially in the united states. plus sisters look sooooooooooooooo sexy with it drives me crazy!!! especially a big afro that is to hooooT.

:darts:

I feel you. Sounds like a tough place to be. Seems like it would get to that point with more of our Sisters...where the solution eventually appears clear.

I am afraid it isn't so clear. I see sisters all the time going bald on the sides of their heads from all the chemical processing and then trying to pull the little bit of hair into a pony tail. So sad...

I am afraid it isn't so clear. I see sisters all the time going bald on the sides of their heads from all the chemical processing and then trying to pull the little bit of hair into a pony tail. So sad...






SAD BUT TRUE, TO ME ITS A COMPLEX TOO MUCH THINKING WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY TO MY NAPS, PERSONALLY I DON'T EVEN CARE. MY HAIR IS APART OF ME AND I WANT TO KEEP IT ON MY HEAD AND I FEEL NATURAL IS THE BEST WAY TO GO.

SWEETTEE, LOVE

I am afraid it isn't so clear. I see sisters all the time going bald on the sides of their heads from all the chemical processing and then trying to pull the little bit of hair into a pony tail. So sad...
I've decided to help create a platform for conscious Blacks. Any assistance is welcome and necessary.
I would like to coordinate a hub from which all different concentrations of empowerment stem.
I think a central component should be that of agreed upon holistic Black standards to be taught in schools, primarily inner-city public schools, but private and charter as well.

Why stagnate our children/future with these menial state standards when they are substandard at best?
I teach reality in my class daily. And as long as it is true, there is nothing that the board can do about it (in the event that they were pressured to...which, I'm certain is just around the corner :) ).

I'll post something more when I have something more substancial.
But I just decided that I can talk about it till I turn blue.
What are words without actions...complaints without proposed solutions?

If we fail to take responsibility for our youth/future, then we all know who will.