I often ask this question to many of my friends and their answers are all either It feels good or I like it.Why do teens feel they need to have sex?When you have your life to think about.......It just puzzles me the only thing on your mind should be school work and other constructive things that will educate you and keep you focused.Maybe it's just my opinion,but I would like feedback
:wave:

You know I often wonder the same thing Sensual.......I've not yet given myself fully. I have engaged in something though......but I think the main reason that most teens do it so they can find out what it feels like. Once they feel what it feels like in most cases they sligh away from that for a while.....and sometimes most teen lie about whether or not they having sex or not because they want to be cool. I used to do it when I was in 6th grade. I know that seems early but hey, it was girls doing it way back then. I don't know sensual.....I'm with you on this issue myself. I don't see what they see in it.

thanx Foxi for the response.I have done something once and it was liek you said to see how it felt and I really felt dumb afterwards so now I dont even talk to a boy who ask or even says sumtin about it.I wanna save it for my husband you know when it's right and he'll know I'm only his you know what I'm saying
thanks for your input :wink:

I know only from my own friends, that they do it to feel like an "adult". They even tried to convince me at one time that having sex makes you feel "grown-up" but it doesn't. As of right now, about 95% of my friends that I grew up with is now pregnant with a child, turned out of even have a one or two year old toddler.

dang thas sad forreal, i think that kids have sex cuz theirr curious, plus we live in a society where sex is everywhere u turn(videos.games.posters) so of course there going to want to try it....it's really sad i too have tried a few things just becuz i was "curious" i could have cost me alot though, and i regret it to this day....so i feel where yalll comin from.....
:heart:
-story

me just say this. I made the mistake of having sex when I was a teen. I too was trying to be mature. I wanted to be a adult. The guy I was sneaking around with was an adult and that too was a mistake. Not realizing then that there is a time and place for everything. I was trying to be a woman but in reality I was still a child. I ended up getting pregnant @ 16...had my son when I was 17. Like story said, sex is everywhere. The media always presents sex as this feels good..everybody's doing it type thing. In reality, sex is not always as fun as it is presented to be. There are diseases, infections, and and let's not forget the risk of getting pregnant. All of this can happen even with protection. Teens just have to be wise. Know that sex is meant for marriage. Don't allow peer pressure, media, or the trends of society to deceive you. There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right time. Honestly, I wish I had waited. Sex can affect you in so many ways, mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially. If you're not able to handle the pressure the damage can be great.

I feel u...cause I dont know y teens make those choses to do the wrong things instead of thinking twice before doing so....because if u think twice about something 9/10 they'll chose the right answer...cause they gotta think about the consequences....first of all u can get aides....second of all u can get pregnant..and when u get pregnant u hav to choose whether to giv birth to that child or get an abortion..but I understand u sensation...
:grouphug: :heart:
jdj530

Thank you all for your responses and advice.The issue was just really bugging me,because I'm tired of walking around the school seeing a different girl pregnant everyday or hearing so and so has this Std you know?Thank you all very much and the feedback was truth......
and jd...it's sensual:wink::lol: :grouphug:

well i was a fast @ss teen. luckily i didnt get pregnant or get any dieases. but when you look back on that stuff you are like what in the world was I thinking. i think i mainly did it because i loved the attention of the boys.

I think that sex shuld not b so important in relationship's espeacialy TEEN ones. But I beleive that if the teen is responcible and knows all the conciqueces and responciblities that come along with opening up to a sexual relationship, then I'm ok wit sexual teen relationships...I juts find that the male demand for se, any sort of sex is very high and sometimes iit is hard to ovr come that and that is y I beleive so many teenz du concent to sex... :jumping:

Thanx phenomenal and Shady for your responses.Sex is just not on my list of things to do and people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm waiting til' I'm married.And you're very right,but girls also go after boys just for sex and that's so ugly.....Thinkin it's cute when you just seen as a easy piece of @ss my motto is if he loves you so much he'll wait.If he can't wait that shows what he really needs.
Thanx again for the responses:wave:

Thanx phenomenal and Shady for your responses.Sex is just not on my list of things to do and people look at me like I'm crazy when I say I'm waiting til' I'm married.And you're very right,but girls also go after boys just for sex and that's so ugly.....Thinkin it's cute when you just seen as a easy piece of @ss my motto is if he loves you so much he'll wait.If he can't wait that shows what he really needs.
Thanx again for the responses:wave:

Sister Reality, please refrain from using language that appear on our banned word list. Thank you for your continued cooperation.

Queenie :spinstar:

:geek: yes ma'am :thanks: :peace:

i just finished having a discussion with two of my college friends, who r virgins, about y they have not had sex. I mean, there is really no simple answer, becasue evry1 has personsl reasons. But i found that one of the good questions that i asked them was, whether they are saving it for the perfect moment or the perfect man. And i think thats what so many young girls today tend to have sex for the moment. Having sex, only living through the moment only can bring physical pleasure(which is not always meaningful and latsing). but when one has sex for the other reason, one allows oneself
to experience both mental and physical with someone where mutual feeling coexist.
and im not saying that just because the guy may seem to love you, or he may seem to ur everything... means its ok. becasue in reality the safest way to avoid any risks of gettin anything(std, babbie, whateva) is not doin it at all...but we all kno that neways.

:ohmy: :grouphug:
thanx for the responses

This is a great topic, SensualReality. Maybe you can help me with a question I have. Kids are having sex for the first time at much much younger ages than they did back in my day, in the 1980's. I have heard statistics that say average ages for first-time sexual encounters are as young as 10 or 11. :jawdrop: I have my own theories about this, but I'd like to hear from some of the young people as to why you think kids have sex so young, and what the atmosphere is like at school with regard to sex.

Elementary school and high school can be vicous places. When teenagers have sex for the first time, sometimes it can be like telling the whole school. You know, always looking over your shoulder to see if someone is talking about you or whatnot. Kids these days have hyped sex up to be this huge orgasm each and every time, how it feels so good, the boy will like you for it...and all the other usual crap. In my opinion, about waiting for sex until marriage, I won't sit here and preach about how abstainence is 100% effective, or how you should wait until marriage. Because honestly, I'm glad I didn't wait for marriage. The thought of being with one person for the rest of my life was sweet....but not so sweet. My first time was a harsh experience so I chalked up on it and moved on. Period. And for those on this board that continously say that they wish they hadn't, well, you had. It happened. Move on ( pardon me if I said something to offend)

The kids pretty much a bombarded by things like having sex so that's all they know or it's just pure pressure.They think if they do it they will look cool.That's what I think Gempis...

SwtT...you are right and peopel should move on I'm one to say I wish all the time,but one mistake only makes you stronger.Love the response

KEEP IT COMIN'!

:grouphug:

Personally, when I was in elementary school I was much faster than I was now. I was used to seeing people around me having sex and feeling on each other that I almost had sex at eight years old. That's sad isn't it?Well, not really because it taught me something. It taught me that everything that glitters ain't gold. I mean, people never told me that sex hurted nor that sex could bring preagancies. That is where so many parents go wrong. I think that they should tell their children from the start what sex is and the consequences of the acts and stop being scared to talk to their children about it. There is no certain age that you should tell them. I started asking my mother about sex at six years old. That's right six. She didn't have the nerve to tell me anythign about it until I was twelve and by then it was way too late. I had had five boyfriends and twelve kissing mates by then. That is why so many kids are getting preagnant because they see it around them they don't see the consequences. That's why so many 10 and 11 year olds are getting preagnant. Like I said, that could have been me at eight years old. Parents usually tell their children when they feel comfortable or when their children start to spread (breast and hips) but by then it's too late. That's why I made a promise to myself and I future chullin's that I would always be truthful with them. I'm going to tell them about the evils of the streetz and the games that will be ran on them. I'm going to be real with them, ain't no use in being scare. What's there to be scared of? You had sex to have them why not let them know what's up? Sex is sex and if you're not careful it could easily turn into a hex. Just be real and stop being scare with yo children. I'm a witness and I wish my mother would have told me before I actually started dating and stuff.

This is a great topic, SensualReality. Maybe you can help me with a question I have. Kids are having sex for the first time at much much younger ages than they did back in my day, in the 1980's. I have heard statistics that say average ages for first-time sexual encounters are as young as 10 or 11. :jawdrop:.

I didn't know sex could even feel good at this age. Does it?

I've always seen sex as something not to be taken lightly. I don't know why so many people adopt the masses attitude regarding sex. They see it as a game and a challenge. It's lost all meaning whatsoever. I'm waiting until I'm married not only for religious reasons but for personal reasons as well.

I think sex is a such big issue because not too many people take it as seriously as they ought to.

Like anything else these days, you have the commercial version and then you have the natural version. To the businessperson, if they can package an idea and sell it, they will. The more something is pushed at you and stays in your face, the more accustomed you are to seeing it and possibly becoming numb to it. Sex--let's ALL do it, regardless of the consequences or reasons why we should wait until we know what we're doing and why. That doesn't matter to people who sell "Sex" to make a profit. Even safe sex sells...more condoms have probably been sold in the last 20 years than the total number combined since they were invented. Even drug companies are in on the sell sex campaign. Why let Herpes Simplex II stop you from having sex? Just take the medication and care less about the potential risk. Why is sex such a big issue? Because people are getting rich off of people who are having it, for one thing. Impotent? Hey, welcome to the world of viagra! Frigid and uninterested in sex as a woman? Have no fear, there's a drug for you too that is guaranteed to make you randy as a spring rabbit. You heard about the sister who hit a man with her car while racing home to have sex with her boyfriend? Left the man dying on the hood of her car while she quenched her sexual desires inside. As the man pleaded for help she cried telling him how sorry she was, but she had to satisfy her burning need to have sex...thanks to Ecstasy!!

Younger and younger people having sex...sure they are and not all young girls are having sex with young boys either--many adult men prey upon these highly developed (physically) young girls, and are literally turning them into nothing more than prostitutes...sex in exchange for money and trinkets. Do these young girls know what they are doing? Heck naw...many are doing it because their friends are. Do they care? Yes, for the money and things that money can buy. Does sex feel good to a 6 or 8 year old? If it does, more than likely it's an accident and not because they understand what it takes to have an orgasm. What's also sad is the fact that not only are these young girls exposing themselves to potential diseases and unplanned pregnancies, they are also subjecting themselves to a greater risk of developing cervical cancer as they get older.

Like anything else....sex has been glamorized to the point of it being harmful to our health if we don't handle it properly. The same as for alcohol and tobacco use. It's a huge money-making industry and not about to go away anytime soon.

Queenie :spinstar:

You gave the cold truth........It won't stop anytime soon and it's just plan sad.My lil cousin just turned 7 and already had her first kiss.She knows how to make babies and everything.My nephew is 4 and he already knows the dirty name for a womans vagina................
Seems you gotta teach them as soon as they come into the world.

Sensual, you have written the wisest opinion in the entire thread so far:

Seems you gotta teach them as soon as they come into the world.

My young sister...you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT in what you wrote. This is the very point to what parenting should be all about. When a child is conceived, your body doesn't care whether your mind is mentally developed enough to take responsibility for what is about to happen in approximately 36 weeks--childbirth. At that point, your sexual habits are moot--whether the child was planned or unplanned--biology kicks in and lives change forever.

Therefore, sexual activity has consequences just like any other type of activity in life that one engages in. There can be pleasant and unpleasant experiences that come with having sex. To sell sex like you're selling a pair of tennis shoes or toothpaste, is irresponsible behavior in my opinion and the advertising agencies, movie/music industries are guilty of this fact. People's mind's are constantly being manipulated by the media and we allow it to come into our homes and corrupt the minds of our children. People often believe what they see and seldom stop to question the good or the bad, the right or the wrong of a situation. If the parent's minds are weak and behave irresponsibly, then it's highly likely that their children's minds will be underdeveloped as well, and thusly, succumb to the same ills as their parents.

Under the "right" circumstances, sexual intercourse is a beautiful experience--as it should be because we are biologically designed to enjoy it. But like anything else, it too can be abused and used to bring harm and injury to people.

So whether teens or adults, it's smart to learn early before you do something you will only regret later. Biologically, our bodies, if healthy and functioning properly, are meant to "call" for sex, but you better know what you're doing before you answer the call.

Peace,
Queenie :spinstar:

NNQueen has very eloquently stated some truth here, on which I would like to elaborate. We have a huge problem in the United States in that folks don't talk about sex with their children. They think doing so will encourage kids to do it, that they should pretend it's not happening because it "shouldn't" happen for various reasons, ie religious, spiritual. All the while ignoring the fact that sex does and will happen with young people. And in fact putting taboos on sex only make children more curious about it. Parent's responsibility is to teach their children about it, but many neglect this, resulting in unwanted teen pregnancies, STD's and other problems. Ignoring sex will not make it go away, and "just say no" is denial - it is not dealing with reality.

SensualReality, you are correct. Teach children about sex, just like you teach them to look both ways crossing the street. It is not "dirty," but it does need some guidelines and counsel to be used/done properly and wisely.

Wzup sensual, first of all you know everyone goes for the experience first. Just to say that they DID do it. But then it turns out that most girls had a bad first experience and usually ended up saying they "DIDNT HAVE SEX", my thing is, if it was your choice to go out and experience it... no need to deny it now, even if its not everything you dreamed it would be. So far as down south goes, I'm really glad I moved out of my hometown in South Carolina, because almost all of my friends who are younger than me have popped out a baby. Because honestly there isn't too much to do besides have sex or run the streets. Now me, I'm no sex addict but at age 20, I have had my experiences and I realize that with a certain person, sex can almost be looked at as a form of art, the way two people can please each other in numerous ways is just beyond imagination. At the same time, I don't believe you should just do it to be doing it, nor should you give a person a "chance", you really need to be feeling it for this to happen. I notice in high school and college, bad names for girls are quick to get out, so think twice before you pick the "finest or the thuggest" dude in school. After its all said and done, you may not have that much to brag about, while he has all the words in the world for how easy you were. So to my sisters, stay strong, and make sure you truly have confided in someone before giving it up. I'm not saying you gotta be married, but just know what your getting yourself into.

Thanx for the mass responses family,I hope somebody learned something from this:wave:

You are welcome SReality and thank you for the great topic!

Peace young princess,
Queenie :spinstar:

I know that back when I was about 9 years-old, me and my friends used to make fun of the idea of having sex, and people who did it. We were a group with as much females as us males. Buth then, we thought that we would give it a try to see what it was like. I will tell you the truth, it felt good. Ans ever since then, I feel that same feeling when I have sex. I am not crazy enough to do it with anybody because where I live at anyway, AIDS ans STDs are high enough to keep a distance from young girls. Sex will NOT get in the way of my education, future, or personal obligations, unless I let it, and I will not let it.

What younger teens need to do is stop being afraid to ask for condoms. Just like some people (males and females) are afraid to tell someone that they have AIDS or STDs. Get checked every once in a while. For your protection and your partners.

:oops: I don't understand why sex is such an issue either. To be honest my first time (which was a huge mistake) is one of my bad memories! Since then I refuse to do it until I get married like a had promised myself. In my opinion
sex isn't just a physical thing its spritiual too. When two become one. Thats what makes it so special and should only be shared between two committed "adults". When I say committed I mean "married" and I had chose to say adults because in that stage of life you are mature enough to face possible consequences that come with having sex, if you choose, outside of marriage.
In a case dealing with teenagers it has alot to do with peer pressure, the media,
and how the adults in their lifes play a role in they way they think and feel.

Thank you Cedric for your response...and Honey
You hit it right on the head...I to made the mistake of having sex only once and it was the biggest mistake I have ever made....So now I have decided to save myself for my husband and because God said to....Sex is not just a game and once you think about it it's like a child opening it's gift on Christmas the excitement is gone after you take the wrapping paper off and the anticipation is gone.I could preach about this thang,but I'ma leave it alone.like you said at the age of maturity people can make their own decisions if they choose to do it let them,but if they know what's right in their heart and for themselves they will wait and put their life ahead of them.Then worry about gettin' all hot and sweaty after they are married and don't have to kill the baby that's meant to be born the right way instead of being blasted into a condom.......I'm done :coffee: :lol:

i've good times and bad ones... but dont jugde ur future by ur passt.. cuz if u do u may miss out on sin valueable...dont make a decision based off a bad experience. choose abstinence for the right reasoins not as the easyiest one.... it will feel better when a year down the line u kno u had cnahces to ahve sex.. but didnt fo a good cause.... i kno i did... but when i did choose to break my abstinence.. it was for the wrong reasons and i have to pay the bad consiquences... so jus kno that good is rewarded.... sex is not a bad thing... neither is it the best thing in the world.... its beauty comes wit all the beauty and love that comes wit knowing urslef and ur partner.. other wise it aint nothing but a waste of time.... we each only got one life to live., so live it... before its gone

One of the things that keeps me from having sex especially at my point in time, is thinking about what will happen after having sex. It is as simple as thinking twice before you take your action. I think heavily before I have sex. Usually, the first thing that comes to my mind is how much of a risk I am taking. The second thing that comes to mind is what happens next. I have witnessed people who have sex, and then they do not know the person anymore. I have also witnessed people who have sex and then they are just totally not the same. When you become responsible enough to take responsibility, then that would be a good time to think about having sex. But while you are young, there is absolutely nothing wrong with learning what sex is. I know that when I first had sex I did not know all that it contains.

For me,sex was an issue b/c of many reasons!The first one is the fact that everyone was talking about;the mass media,in school,my parents,my sister n so on...so i wonder why they talk about!I thought it could have been cool!The second one is that my parents forbid me to have sex b/4 marriage n i was runnin' into trouble with'em!The third is that i wanted to show to the others that i wasn't a coward,i was "cool"!N the last one is that when i was growing up,i felt so alone;it was like all the things surrounding me was nonsence,cruel...negative for me!So it was a way for me to escape of this life!Ans,like drug,i became addicted to it.
Now,i've noticed that itz not good!itz strong for me to say "no"!But as i know,man is different of animal by the fact that his action his lead by his reason!As soon as i wanna stay a man,i wanna think b/4 act!If i just follow my desire,i'm not different of a monkey!Thatz what help me this days

I am overwhelmed by these responses.....We have a lot to say on this subject and I'm glad it was a productive thread...Everyone had their own outlooks on it and everyone had their oppinions,some may agree or disagree.But in the end no one knows what may happen.You may not listen to everything that's being said or choose to not have sex.Just take this sound advice

1.think about it first,the good and the bad
2.The person who is it with
3.think about it again if the first time didn't work
4.WRAP THAT JOKA UP!!!!!! :peace:

Dear they do it to feel more responsible and more like an adult, plus with all the sexual images that we see today in television that tells us that its ok and widely accepted for people our age to have sex then what do you expect? Now I know your thinking that we shouldn't be watching so much tv but instead have our heads in the books but not all teenagers have the same guidence and wisdom that you were blessed with.

i dont know y teens mess there life up with sex instead of trying to educate there life. im not thinking about sex that much. Im not saying i dont think about sex every once in a while but i wanna live my life first. you dont now what these people out here got like STD's and stuff. i rather find someone i LOVE and that i CARE about and who i wanna spend my LIFE with before i give up the goods. Us black people need to understand that sex anit everything. If we stay in school and do good then we might can chance peoples views on the black community...1

goodgurl119

HOLLA AT ME
:love:

Well said goodgurl119...welcome to Destee.com!

When I was a teenager and had sex for the first time it was because I thought I was ready. I was a little curious but My hormones was raging. When you have a grow woman's body at like 14/15 your body react as if it was a grown woman's body it get's urges and feeling that's hard to control. I was to immature and too young to know and undertstand the full extent of what I was doing. I think Sex is very overrated cause until you find some one you really love, sex will always just be something to do. When you find that one special person it will be far greater than anything thing you've ever experience. Adults used to tell me that all the time but I didn't understand. But now I do. If you can save your self for sex (oral and penetration)

Poetic Sista

i don't see what that importance of it is......when i was younger i used to think about it all the time and then i year or two later i experienced it and it wasn't anything to be hyped about......It was actually painful.....but it still cool though

CsBaby girl, baby, sex is like a puzzle... the right piece will fit just right and that comes with patience AND age. Sex is God-given to the blessed adult couples in wed-lock. Some folks don't want to wait I know. Some dudes be saying they must test the bike before they buy it. I know. Let's also have an open mind that... Without being too discrete, sex sometimes needs a little merchandise to make it work right. Sometimes, people need to see a doctor too. SOMEBODY OUT THERE KNOWS THIS IS THE TROOF! So with this message, I stress age and patience.

thanks for those words of advice...Its funny that you should say that because i was thinking those same exact thoughts after i posted

I often ask this question to many of my friends and their answers are all either It feels good or I like it.Why do teens feel they need to have sex?When you have your life to think about.......It just puzzles me the only thing on your mind should be school work and other constructive things that will educate you and keep you focused.Maybe it's just my opinion,but I would like feedback
:wave:

Because we're young?

:hearthis: I think teens sometimes feel the need to have sex is because EVERYONE is doing it. But its 2004 and stuff like that should cool down. WHY? AIDS is more popular than ever, teens have to understand the whole responsable thing about sex. Go out and get infomation about it. Ask questions and always I mean always use condoms

Why is sex such a big issue?
some times it's not such a big issue.
depends on the size of the male involved :slobber:

Now and then people have sex because it's the style. When you hit High School people start talking about sex and making sexual remarks. Their are people that stand tall ad say they are a virgin but their is the others that admit that they are a ho just to get attention. Having sex is a normal thing. But just don't sleep around and have protection. It's a different from having sex and making love. So also don't get those two things confuse. The reason I had sex was I thought that person was the one for me and I thought we was going to be together forever.

Why is sex such a big issue?
some times it's not such a big issue.
depends on the size of the male involved :slobber:

Brother James ... this is in the teen forum ... i think your comments should take this into consideration?!

:heart:

Destee

To put it simply, sex (for me as a teen) is a big issue because it feels good and connects me with that one particular person.