I just want to know why men cheat. I have heard so many different things.
Why would a man risk everything to sleep with another women?
If his women looks decent,is intelligent caring she's got his back no matter what. why would he mess around.Is sleeping around more important then love?Does honesty mean anything.Why won't a man tell the truth if he don't want a serious relationship why don't he just say that?Just keep it real.We women are strong we candle the truth. Just don't insult my intelligence. When it comes to this topic I'm clueless because I'm not a man.

Hello SoBlessed and Welcome ... :wave:

I'm not a man, but i have an opinion regarding why men (and women) cheat. I think they cheat because they want to cheat.

We could attempt to look deeper into each individual case of cheating, and point out some bad childhood experience, or some stressful situation they're currently experiencing, or the fact that they are no longer "in love" with their significant other. We could talk about the high number of Black men that are in prison or dead, and those available are in high demand by most all women, regardless of color. We could talk about the many Sisters that have no respect for themselves or their Sister (his significant other) and is willing to be with him, no matter what ... much of this increasing the Brother's opportunity (i'd imagine) to cheat.

We could talk of these things and more, with all of them being possible contributing factors. But the bottomline is, if they didn't want to cheat, they wouldn't. Adults do what they want ... except maybe getting sick and dying ... and cheating aint on that list. Decisions surrounding cheating, lying, stealing, etc., speak to each individual's character, honor, and integrity, or lack thereof.

Oftentimes, what happens next is ... "Should i remain with them after they've cheated, after they've revealed they have no or very low character, honor, and integrity?" ... that answer too is based on the same as the above ... folk stay if they want to.

Hope i've helped! :)

Welcome to the Family, please make yourself at home.

:heart:

Destee

I hear what your saying. Do you think that every one cheats at one point in their lives? I believe that the bottom line is that people do it beause they want too. I also think that men are weak when it comes to sex(not all men) I just don't get it.Just because a child wants a toy really bad doesn't mean take it.I believe that everyone has a weakness and I also believe that the enemy feeds on that. If you are not walking with the Lord how can he strenghten You? I guess I was looking for an understanding.I'm not saying women don't cheat ME personally has been afected by men cheating.It's just not right. If you are married or in a serious relationship why do you have to worry about is my husband or partner gonna get someone pregnant or is my wife or partner pregnant by me or someone else.What about STDS OR AIDS. IF you want to gamble with your life that is your bussiness but don't gamble or play with mine.Everything that we do effects people.What if there is children involved, how does it effect them.One moment of pleasure can bring a life time of pain.I just don't get it.

I cheat because I usually get tired of the female within 2weeks to 3 weeks. It is easier for me to please multiple people than it is one. And everytime I Try to date one person I usually end up cheatin a week later so, I think some people should just come to grips with the reality that they are not capable of being with one person.

Just my opinion.

Men cheat for the same reason women cheat. It's not a gender thing, it's a stupidity thing. Nowadays I'm just up front with a woman. I'll tell them exactly whats going on like "I don't want a relationship, but we can be friends and do our thing". If I was to get into a relationship I would not cheat though. It's too much work and it doesn't make sense to cheat. Just tell the person that it's not working and move on. It's somewhat of a cowardly way to have your cake and eat it too without having to actually confront someone and be honest. That's just my opinion. But both men and women cheat. Women just seem to know how to lie alot better than men do.

I agree it's a stupidity thing.I think people can be with just one person they choose not to.That's not fair and it's not right.The person on the recieving end is the one that gets hurt.So I believe that ,the whole some people can't be with just one person is an excuse to cheat.Aren't people worried about HIV, AIDS, GENITAL WARTS, HERPES AND OTHER STDS. In which condoms don't protect from all STDS such as HERPES and WARTS.

Well, some people think it's cool to have someone care about them and then screw that person over. I know because when I was younger I used to be like that. Some people need to have that feeling that they are so great that they can get someone sprung then make them feel like crap by cheating on them and making them feel like less of a person in the process. They need to feel like they have so many options that they have to juggle all these men or women into their hectic schedule. Actually, if you think about it it's pretty sad. It says alot about the cheater. That person is not entirely secure with himself/herself. I don't think there is anything wrong with having sex with more than one person as long as everyone knows where they stand. I mean, be an adult, if you don't want a relationship then be upfront. You'll be surprised how many men/women will respect that and still be with you without any type of commitment or headache. It's alot easier than trying to climb your way out of the hole that you dug yourself by trying to be a player.

I just want to know why men cheat. I have heard so many different things.
Why would a man risk everything to sleep with another women?
If his women looks decent,is intelligent caring she's got his back no matter what. why would he mess around.Is sleeping around more important then love?Does honesty mean anything.Why won't a man tell the truth if he don't want a serious relationship why don't he just say that?Just keep it real.We women are strong we candle the truth. Just don't insult my intelligence. When it comes to this topic I'm clueless because I'm not a man.

Destee brought some good things to the table on the issue...and it's one which is too complex to answer. In terms of "Character", our character is based on our socialization, education, and religions, and everything else...so I'm leaving character out of it...for character has too many factors that determine and define it.

In terms of "Adults", exactly when does that reality exist ? When I was younger, they...the dominate society said I wasn't an Adult till 21. Then they changed it to 18. The Scriptures don't consider you to be a man till you're 40. Even what we classify as being ADULT isn't laid out. We have issues of monogamy, polyandry and polygamy in our history and culture. We therefore don't even all have the same conscious or subconscious value system in terms of what we call cheating.

Today you can be monogamous to your heart...tomorrow you may learn something that may shake the very core of what you held to be true in your HEART yesterday. All this is to say that...as individuals we need to define what our reality is and then pray that as we grow, what we learn tomorrow does not destroy what we cling to today. Truth and growth, whether on purpose or not, will do that in ones life.

Did one commit adultery when one slept with someone ? The scriptures state that the act of adultery was commited when you thought about it or had it in your heart. So to be real about, we have some serious redefining to do in terms of what is or is not acceptable. If I live by and follow the prophets of any religion, then I can have several wives. If I choose certain elements of our history and culture to live by, I can have several wives and she can have several husbands. Again, I say this so that you or whoever can define WHAT YOUR REALITY IS OR WILL BE...ALSO BE WARNED THAT GROWING AND LEARNING MAY CHANGE THAT.

People are unfaithful because they are not true to themselves and therefore cannot be true to their partners... and have little or no self-control. But that's just my opinion

Not every "love" relationship is between just two people, and by consent. So the concept of "cheating" is relative to the design of the relationship and the understanding of the people involved. The question is, are some people willing to participate in a monogamous relationship with another person and are there some people who prefer having multiple partners? Those that want a one-on-one relationship should hook-up and those that want multiple partners should do the same. It pays to seek the kind that you want and not assume that everyone is in agreement just because you didn't see a need to discuss it. I agree with kente417mojo, gender has nothing to do with so-called "cheating," but I question whether women are better at lying about it than men.

Peace,
Queenie :spinstar:

Yes Brother Keita ... all folk in the relationship should be aware of how the other(s) defines "adult, adultery, cheating, monogamy, polyandry, polygamy, etc.," and what each expects regarding these things. Hopefully this is done prior to getting too deeply involved.

I agree with Sister Queenie that not all "love" relationships are the same, or have the same expectations. Each one is as unique as the individuals involved.

Some of us may find ourselves defining the relationship based on our hopes, rather than reality. I say get it in writing, just in case you gotta go to Judge Mathis. :wink:

:heart:

Destee

I have been reading Nathan McCall's Makes Me Wanna Holler and from reading it I have gotten a couple of things. He talked about how the men would call each other weak and whipped if they "caught feelings" for a girl. Getting the booty was like a game to them and it made them more macho or baaaaad. So from early on in history they were taught that and those teachings were just passed on. I just wish someone would step in and tell these men that it's not cool at all. It makes them look like dogs and keeps them from gaining any kind of trust from people.

I agree. It's a game to many. It's not about you or the woman, it's about everyone else. When have you ever met a so called "player" that kept all of his/her business to themselves? It's all about getting that "stripe". Letting everyone know that you got so many jocking you that you don't know how to juggle them. It's like achieving something, but in a sad, insecure way. Some may look at you as if you got it going on, but most look at you like you're immature and insecure.

While I can appreciate the "honesty"of Manasiac for admitting that he is not a one woman man. I would be curioius to know, before moving on after a few weeks from these women, do you let them know at the outset that your intentions are basically to hit in and quit it?

Secondly I am a little disappointed at the women on the forum. In another thread, entitled should you be married and clubbing. Manasiac noted that husbands would be wise to bring their wives with thim to the club,or keep them at home.... because a cat like him will "scoop them up" i.e. read... sexual conquest. Sounds like a sexual predator to me. What do you all think about a comment like that?

Well, as far as that comment, I think to each his own as far as how one wants to live their life. Me, I tend to not want to mess around in someone's marriage anymore. That is something very serious, sleeping with someones husband or wife, and might result in one getting cut if you know what I mean. The problem is the stupid women and men who are willing to forsake their vows for a one night stand or whatever comes out of it. That's our society though.

i wondered the same thing to....














i can only think of one thing....




when they are not close to got....

woman as well as man.....



the moment you start lying ....


you give the devil a BIG FOOT....


and that is were the trouble starts...








Lovelibertylady:heart:

While I can appreciate the "honesty"of Manasiac for admitting that he is not a one woman man. I would be curioius to know, before moving on after a few weeks from these women, do you let them know at the outset that your intentions are basically to hit in and quit it?

Secondly I am a little disappointed at the women on the forum. In another thread, entitled should you be married and clubbing. Manasiac noted that husbands would be wise to bring their wives with thim to the club,or keep them at home.... because a cat like him will "scoop them up" i.e. read... sexual conquest. Sounds like a sexual predator to me. What do you all think about a comment like that?

Brother Sekhemu, please don't be disappointed in the women on the forum for not responding to Brother Manasia C's comments. Sometimes it's best to sit back and leave comments like this alone. Not saying that he's doing this, but sometimes people write things just to get a rise out of people. As a parent, I've learned that most children do this to get attention and parents can choose to respond either negatively or positively. Brother MC describes himself in a way that may or may not be true, but we must take him at "face" value. Those of us that don't particularly care for the behavior he describes can judge him for it or choose to leave it alone and let him live his life and deal with the consequences. I believe that LIFE can oftentimes be the BEST teacher, don't you?

Peace,
Queenie :spinstar:

I cheat because I usually get tired of the female within 2weeks to 3 weeks. It is easier for me to please multiple people than it is one. And everytime I Try to date one person I usually end up cheatin a week later so, I think some people should just come to grips with the reality that they are not capable of being with one person.

Just my opinion.


:devil: I have to agree with you totally on this. Some people just aren't capable of being faithful. There's just too much lust and insecurity in their mind and soul. Cheating is a form of lying and liars never trust anyone because they themselves can not be trusted - thus the insecurity factor. However, there is hope and help. I know, because I played the field for several years,then settled down with one man with no regrets, no cheating. All things are possible with God.

I cant speak for all
THe reason i cheat
Is because I havent found one woman
To satisfy me enough not too
I dont usually get into relationships anymore
This is the main reason why I dont
But also I dont like answering to anyone
I like to be able to go out and not feel guilty
Not feel like I have let her down or our relationship down
Yes Yes Playas having feelings too-LOL

Brotha sek that has been the best reason yet,
I cant think of a better one,
but I also agree with the ppl who said that they do it cause they want to.



People are unfaithful because they are not true to themselves and therefore cannot be true to their partners... and have little or no self-control. But that's just my opinion

Most men who cheat do so because their lust for sex overides thier self-control and/or ability to remain monogamous.


But remember it takes Two to Tango.

A man can't cheat by himself, somebody must be voluntarily creeping with him.

Like Chris Rock said: A man is only as loyal as his options.

I've noticed that the most unattractive, hard-luck, sorriest looking men usually are the most honest and faithful because most of the time no one offers him an opportunity to cheat in the first place.

But the bruthaz with plenty of money, in shape...they are the ones that tend to "get around".
Even when thier main KNOW they're cheating they still get away with it because they're in high demand.

Most men who cheat do so because their lust for sex overides thier self-control and/or ability to remain monogamous.


But remember it takes Two to Tango.

A man can't cheat by himself, somebody must be voluntarily creeping with him.

Like Chris Rock said: A man is only as loyal as his options.

I've noticed that the most unattractive, hard-luck, sorriest looking men usually are the most honest and faithful because most of the time no one offers him an opportunity to cheat in the first place.

But the bruthaz with plenty of money, in shape...they are the ones that tend to "get around".
Even when thier main KNOW they're cheating they still get away with it because they're in high demand.


Funny as hell
Yet so true LOL

some men have a need or desire for sexual variety. i know I do.
nowadays that interest has been demonized and we must all go by the female line.

now, no good woman has any interest in variety.
in fact, that is the definition of what a good woman is - she has no interest in anything beyond what her partner can provide.

this is the set up for the battle of the sexes.

some men have a need or desire for sexual variety. i know I do.
nowadays that interest has been demonized and we must all go by the female line.

now, no good woman has any interest in variety.
in fact, that is the definition of what a good woman is - she has no interest in anything beyond what her partner can provide.

this is the set up for the battle of the sexes.

Brother James... now I know you did not in a round about way say that men can have an appetite for sexual variety but a woman can only be good if she is complacent in what 'her man' has to offer?????

Brother James... now I know you did not in a round about way say that men can have an appetite for sexual variety but a woman can only be good if she is complacent in what 'her man' has to offer?????
did I stutter?
currently, a woman is defined as "good" if she has NO need for variety.
men too. a "good" man is one who is strictly interested in his partner.

those who like variety are "cheaters", no good, bad.
that is the way it is today.

what woman will admit to an appetite beyond her partners?

no, mr. james, you did not stutter...:ohmy: ... but somewhere along the lines i assumed you were talking about variety in general and not in relationships...

but variety is relationships means that said person is suspect.. point blank.. no matter the sex...

i assumed you were talking about variety in general and not in relationships......
i am referring to sexual variety.
the enjoyment of more than one sexual partner.

a "good" person only has interest in their partner. anything beyond that is "bad".
i find that quite boring which is one of the reasons I'm not in the game.
it bores me.

Most men who cheat do so because their lust for sex overides thier self-control and/or ability to remain monogamous.


But remember it takes Two to Tango.

A man can't cheat by himself, somebody must be voluntarily creeping with him.

Like Chris Rock said: A man is only as loyal as his options.

I've noticed that the most unattractive, hard-luck, sorriest looking men usually are the most honest and faithful because most of the time no one offers him an opportunity to cheat in the first place.

But the bruthaz with plenty of money, in shape...they are the ones that tend to "get around".
Even when thier main KNOW they're cheating they still get away with it because they're in high demand.

IMO, the sorriest/least attractive men tend to be the boldest of the bunch. They know they have nothing to lose, so they go for the gusto, many of them end up with the dime pieces:ohmy:

There is none! A man is only as faithful as his options!

By reasons of many things it's never set why or when but men do
cheat but we all know they not cheating alone .

often he do it because he can , some because they unwedd, some out
the problems he may be going through at home , some from lack of !
even some because they can't control themselves when they see women

cheating in a relationship have many reasons to why but often never told
stress can send you out there and end up in bed with someone and many
times stupidity has it's say in cheating ........

There are several aspects as to why men cheat. The reason is simple. We are living in a disposable society and what does not work, get rid of it.
Is that right or wrong? That depends on what the purpose of the realtionship was in the beginning.
There is a silent agreement that is made when two people are "into each other" that agreement is based on what the other person is offering. What the man is offering the woman and what the woman is offering the man. If the agreement is not met, then there is a split and then either the man or the woman begins to fulfill themselves in some other way. The problem is the agreement is silent and very rarely is discussed. To discuss it almost would sound like a business deal.
"I expect thus and so from you at this point in our relationship and as time progresses, the stipulations of the agreement are subject to change. Please sign at the bottom of the paper." LOL
It sounds crazy but its true!
If we are in a relationship for "love" then it has to be a divine love that loves regardless of how the toilet tissues is placed in the holder the wrong way. We have to love in spite of the mother in law and all the other family members. We have to overlook all that if that is the agreement. Otherwise we are exploiting ourselves and thats cool too. Just make sure that in the agreement. Section 8c 3rd paragraph where it states
".....in the event that the terms and stipulations for any reason are not held by the opposing party, the proprietor of this document maintains the right to seek to pleasure themselves through exclusive means and is not required to reveal the means and or activity when persuing other forms of pleasure sexually and otherwise...." LOL

There are several aspects as to why men cheat. The reason is simple. We are living in a disposable society and what does not work, get rid of it.
Is that right or wrong? That depends on what the purpose of the realtionship was in the beginning.
There is a silent agreement that is made when two people are "into each other" that agreement is based on what the other person is offering. What the man is offering the woman and what the woman is offering the man. If the agreement is not met, then there is a split and then either the man or the woman begins to fulfill themselves in some other way. The problem is the agreement is silent and very rarely is discussed. To discuss it almost would sound like a business deal.
"I expect thus and so from you at this point in our relationship and as time progresses, the stipulations of the agreement are subject to change. Please sign at the bottom of the paper." LOL
It sounds crazy but its true!
If we are in a relationship for "love" then it has to be a divine love that loves regardless of how the toilet tissues is placed in the holder the wrong way. We have to love in spite of the mother in law and all the other family members. We have to overlook all that if that is the agreement. Otherwise we are exploiting ourselves and thats cool too. Just make sure that in the agreement. Section 8c 3rd paragraph where it states
".....in the event that the terms and stipulations for any reason are not held by the opposing party, the proprietor of this document maintains the right to seek to pleasure themselves through exclusive means and is not required to reveal the means and or activity when persuing other forms of pleasure sexually and otherwise...." LOL

LMAO... LMAO... LMAO...
YOu are crazy as h-e- double hockey sticks; however, everything you say is true. I would go on further to say that relationships aren't truly a business deal until marriage comes into play; do you not sign a binding legal agreement in marriage?
i have always said that marriage is a business arrangement--not that love cannot come into account.

okay okay... question... how are the persons involved suppose to prevent breech of contract if the agreement is rarely, if ever discussed????? LOL....

There are several aspects as to why men cheat. The reason is simple. We are living in a disposable society and what does not work, get rid of it.
Is that right or wrong? That depends on what the purpose of the realtionship was in the beginning.
There is a silent agreement that is made when two people are "into each other" that agreement is based on what the other person is offering. What the man is offering the woman and what the woman is offering the man. If the agreement is not met, then there is a split and then either the man or the woman begins to fulfill themselves in some other way. The problem is the agreement is silent and very rarely is discussed. To discuss it almost would sound like a business deal.
"I expect thus and so from you at this point in our relationship and as time progresses, the stipulations of the agreement are subject to change. Please sign at the bottom of the paper." LOL
It sounds crazy but its true!
If we are in a relationship for "love" then it has to be a divine love that loves regardless of how the toilet tissues is placed in the holder the wrong way. We have to love in spite of the mother in law and all the other family members. We have to overlook all that if that is the agreement. Otherwise we are exploiting ourselves and thats cool too. Just make sure that in the agreement. Section 8c 3rd paragraph where it states
".....in the event that the terms and stipulations for any reason are not held by the opposing party, the proprietor of this document maintains the right to seek to pleasure themselves through exclusive means and is not required to reveal the means and or activity when persuing other forms of pleasure sexually and otherwise...." LOL
hello and welcome to the house.
sit down and make yourself comfortable.
i hope you will enjoy your stay.

A man/woman will only do what you will allow. Both men and women cheat, it is not gender related. There are people who will cheat no matter how good or bad the relationship is. Often times, people go into relationships with preconceived ideas of what they think of the other person in that relationship. Especially women, when we meet a man and the attraction is there and we start seeing more of that person, we tend to start thinking about the future, very far in the future. We have our best foot forward, and we are all shined up like a brand new nickel. You know, the new car smell. Then once the newness wears off, we get complacent. We expect that once intimacy is in the picture, then the other person is committed. Usually with no formal words being exchanged or any conversation which will solidify the commitment of the relationship and its terms. For example: "I won’t except this, and I won’t except that, or don’t even try me", etc. If this would occur, then a lot of relationships would never get started, or each person would have an idea of what the other persons boundaries are and decide if those boundaries work for them or not.

For every action there is a reaction. To truly know what your reaction will be, you need to really know yourself. Once you know and love yourself, then what someone does in a relationship, will not define you. Defining a relationship very early, will define how you will react when situations occur.

Real Men cheat
Cause Wayne Brady makes
Bryant Gumbel look Black-Quote
David Chapelle-LOL

real men cheat
real men must except defeat
giving out the treat
as slanging that thang is neat

by the time you get old
the thang wont be gold

but be limp
looking like a played out pimp
wont be able to make a dent
with that wo out stint
betta enjoy life sit down relax like Clint

Eastwood that is
You feeling lucky punk well do ya
Come make my day (just quoting the cowboy)

this is dedicated to all the men who say's
survey say
Real Men Cheat Yeah!!!!!!!:wink: :hearts1: