Hi all ....

yeah i,m back brused and broken .

Yesterday my day went well came here after a sunny day...
everything was fine and ok to at desthee...
than i went back home..and i still had to call my dad cause he is leaving to morrow back to his home country.....after 60 years of hard work here
he is retiaring and going back to the sun...
i,m so happy for him...and sinds my 21 t,th we started to get to know eachother better and become close.....

So i asked him to know what time his plain will be leaving....
cause i,m going to wave him out....
So i got him on the Phone ..we talked and i told him Verry enthousistic that
after long searching and hard searching i finaly found a temporary job.....
wich is a maid...
My Real profession sumthing different(i work usual with kids and old ones and problem kids) ....but its hard to find a fulltime job in that now beside i,m planning to leave this country to..
Besides that in sinds sept they made and administartion fault wich made it inposible to work in the other workfield.....(with in thedaycare center)
I was with out a job....after that i could work now and than on that work field...in the mean time i looked hart for another job .....
and i was satisfied if i could find anything...even Phlipping burger in burger king cause i see that there is nothing wrong with that .....
i mean You can eat you can Pay youre bills.......Its doesnt say anything a bout youre inteligance....


So i was struggeling finaly got a job witch starts in the second week of april..

and i told him this My dad......

than he said sumthing that broke my heart....


He said "'what and were is it....than i told him it.....

Than he said ....""Its sad that you sank so low """


i couldt believe that this came out of the person i cinsidered as one of my best friend.......The bond with my mom is not so close eather cause she lives far and when i was young she always was gone...

than i asked him......""What do you mean""'

than he said ...""'welll you used to sing and have a name....
you were famous .....(i was like huh. famous .....he saw that as famous ......??? :ohmy: we were a little bit here yeah in my country ....but that was not the reason i was singing ..to become famous....i just wanted to share my music with people ...express) People knew you ..............

Than i was like.......Huh.....aww.....So you are looking low to people clean rooms and houses and buildings...

I thought you werent like this ....I MEAN its WORk isnt it......

I mean if the cleaner of the building were i live passes one cleaning round...

The stank of the smell is like unhuman......

i always look and great with him...with much respect as i would great Arita franklin...

and i even made a song about that...


Than i suddenly reminds that when i sumthimes spend time with him...
and people called and asked him...who is with you than he always said,...
cause i have another sister....

""You know the one Who sings""'

and i was like...huh...

Why not just my name or say sumthing like

""you know the one who is nice and kind"'

"'you know the one Who Stood By ME when i was 3 monds in jail WHEN MY SON.....USED ME ....To send A drugs packeT....
and the one who stood by me after that.....
the one who went wallking with her crutches (because in that time she was just operated)to the Phonecell and called my loyar everyday to convinse my inocens.....
who plead with my other brothers and sisters.....to write a witness paper ... of how i am ,......cause i am realy inocent (and he realy was i,m 100% shure of that and my brother admited afterwards)

The one who sat there in the courtroom supporting her father after she jusr recoverd from her first loved one who was seperated from her from two years because of a same kind of situation....""



I was like.....


So there is not more to this artistical lady......

is that all you like about me ....
is that wat is inportent only to my dad...?

not who i am ...besides the singin...

My spirrituall growth..?

how i walk....

I was like ..

So he is not proud of me besides the Llalalalal
:madd:

i,m serius this hurts like hell

wasnt i a brave girl....

You know the not messing around you know with tha guys and all that stuff...

I mean he wasnt there at my school gratuation......Neither was Mom..

i forgive ...i still wanted to get to know the good site of him..(wich he has)



And all the time i had the feeling he knew me.....

and Now.......



How would you feel guys!!!!

if youre dad said this...



and he is leaving tommorow........
jee what a goodbye...



i,m realy REaly Realy realy hurt here....

second time in these Two monds....

that someone stabbed me....




( yeah i know and i,m loving myself ,,,ok and i,m looking and walking with jesus .......but there is no doubt it that you know when you are in a relationship with anybody ....you love you will always get hurt......
i know ...i know...yeah yeah yeah ..that life ....)



But is my hurt right.....

or not ,....

its there....


So How Would you feel when youre dad said this to you....?















deephurtlady....

:( and you know in this way i dont want to sing somethimes...



expectations ....

expectations...


i only wanted to share......

Hello My Dear Darling Sister LibertyLady !!! :love:

I Love You !!!!

This is so beautiful, you are so rare. A Sister that shares her whole heart completely, putting it all on the table ... to us. Thank You Sister. This is so healthy too!!! To share one's concerns with those that care. I'm glad you know we care Sister. Not allowing negative energy to fester in you, but to get it out, share it ... with at least one somebody, is very very good for you. So proud of you for doing the things that are good for you.

You have shared a lot here with us. Bless your sweet heart. You know what i would do in this situation? I'd continue to love my Father as i have always loved him. I would try to understand and balance the fact that i know he loves me ... you're too sweet not to love ... yet he has said or done something that hurt me.

There is no parent that has not said or done something, that hurt their child. When you become a parent, you will realize even more, that parents make mistakes too. Some parents make worse mistakes than others, but we all make them. I am a parent and i have made them. I have also been a child, and realize that both my Mother and Father made some too.

But once you are an adult, you can no longer think like a child. At least i don't believe we're suppose to. :) Thinking like the young adult that you are, requires that you be fully responsible for your own actions, not the actions of others. Your responsibility in this, is to love your Father always, to forgive your Father always, because he is your Father. This is what children should do for their parents. If you don't do this for your parents, you cannot teach your children to do it for you and their Father.

So my Dear Darling Sister LibertyLady ... continue being your wonderful self, do whatever you have to do for you life to be how you want it to be ... and i'm so very proud to read that that is exactly what you are doing.

Oh yeah, i'd make these last hours with my Father as wonderful as possible. Not only these last hours, but all the hours that God blesses you to have each other.

Stay Encouraged and Congratulations on your new Job Sister !!! :toast:

I Love You.

:heart:

Destee

Goodness, I feel your pain sister. Look, cleaning is nothing to look down on. You have the right idea about life. We have all taken jobs that we necessarily don't want to do. I don't know that many people who are doing what they want to do as far as occupation. The fact that you say you'll work anywhere is commendable in itself. Most people think they are too good for certain types of work, but they are not too good to be unemployed or on welfare? :confused:
I think that was very inconsiderate what he said to you and I don't think it was fair. There's more to a person besides what they do for a living. You could just as easily be robbing people or selling drugs to make ends meet. I think the things that you have done to stand by your dad are more important than that. Life isn't smooth and we all have to grit and bear sometimes. Doesn't mean you are at a low point, just means that you aren't where you know you're gonna be soon. Nothing wrong with that so please don't feel that there is. You definately sound like a really sweet person and enjoy your new job, and sing LOUD while you are working too. So everyone can hear you. Even me in Cali. Much love Liberty and keep your head up and enjoy life no matter what people say. :peace:

thank you verry much ....Desthee an kenteMojo :crying:
you both spoke some words and send me love ....
witch i needed today....

to make the right desision....

the thing what you said ...Desthee is what did me good and is gods will...ofcourse i wil forgive....

and what you said Kente made feel good to made me feel someone understands...and i will keep that in mine...thank you bro..


i,.m still hurt but i feel much and much beter...

Today i couldnt speak to any of my friends they were all bussy..
and some areliving in another city and its expencive to call...
and i have a good neighbour soulfriend but his mother just past away...
so i kinda want to be there for him...
i coulnt ,tell him my hurt...



:love: ...
Thank yall...

yall also my fam ...
believe me...
some off ya have said some uplifting words to me
in lonely and hard (confusing)times
and i keep promoting this site... ...




Love a little feel much better libertylady!

my sistah truely what u do is beautiful cleaning bring forth neatness
and less pest i honor u so be as u are and whom u are sistah wow!
i mean seem like they miss the reality of life and work well expressed
openly

Well i was there..


he made a fault in the time ..and he was already Inside....(you know with the gate...)


aww man airports....


and sumthing went wrong with him reaching me....(cellphone)


and me reaching ....him ....



but i was there.....

i hurts man
cause ....
i havent spoke to him..
and he maybe thinks i,m still mad...(i was not just sad)
and that i didnt wanted to come..
it hurt cause it wasnt already not easy to say goodbey and wave and stuff..
and this makes it more hurtfull..

and i didnt hang up the phone mad or sumthing not at alll..
we said just nice goodbey and i said i would be there....

I always have learned not to leave eachother in a fight or angryness

because you never know if you will see that person again...

...I feel a lot of pain right now....

I know he is not dead..but still ....




welll it happend for a reason...

I just hopes he arrives save...thats all...



.....

surely he will and let not ya heart be troubled nor sad
in time ya smile will be and he will call sooner then u know
hold the faith close
i feel u sistah

Thanks rich :crying: :grouphug: