As my first post as a member, I feel like I have to ask my black community their opinion about something I exprienced. Please do not hold back any of your thoughts to make me feel better or anything like that, I'd really appretiate RAW honesty.

Well It was my second semester at Penn State University, and out of sheer boredom, I started talking to some guy over the internet, that went to a technical school in florida, but he lived at home. He seemed like a really nice guy, and that he and I shared common interests. I also thought it was great as well that we were different too. So we chit-chatted about almost anything for a good 3 months. I started getting deep feelings for him and we decided that he would pay me a visit. My parents didn't know anything about his visiting, I know I had to tell them at some point, and that they were going to be pissed as well. Anyways, so he visited, and we hung out with my friends for a great majority of the day... went to the mall and watched a movie.

That night was the most romantic of my life, Im 19 years old, and it was the first time I had ever kissed a guy. We never had sex. He was very concerned about taking things too far, and I really appretiated him for that We talked about getting to know eacother much better than that before taking that step.

I told my parents the following day of his visit. We continued to keep in touch, and when I was out of school and at home, we wrote one another and talked on the phone.

Naturally, My parents didn't appretiate our communication... Im in love with some guy in florida talking to him every chance I get. me charging my credit card for calling cards, and expending the minuites on my cell phone.
My parents came to a breaking point where they just said to me, "you have two choices, you keep him, or you get out of this house. You would then be completely on your own" As much as I felt these deep feelings of love for him, I knew that turning my back on my family would be a stupid choice. I was supposedly not allowed to even tell him what had happened but my conscience stood in the way. I had done that once before and i had nightmares about it...

So I told him what happened, and all of a sudden he tells him that I must be really happy not being able to be with him, that for the time he and I had been a couple, the feelings that I told him I had never exsisted to him. That hurt a lot, him saying this. But I still told him that when I am on my own, and I completely taking care of myself, we could see eacother again. I told him there is no way, I have already betrayed my parents trust by telling him, and I asked him, "what am I supposed to do? sneak around my family"? and he told me"we have to do what we have to do to be together."

After he had said all these things to me, I sat down and thought a long while. Would a person that supposedly loves me ask me to turn my back on my family? Forget my futures and goals? I would have never asked that of him because I know that I love him. Would he have ever doubted my feelings for him?
Was this all some sort of game to him?
I was in complete confusion until I determined, that NO, he doesn't really love me at all. The person that I was in love with was in fact, a mirage.

And I broke up with him....
a regret it a little, but I feel like it was a chapter in my life, I needed to close...

Was I wrong by breaking up with him? I know there was something I should have done differently, but what is it?
let me know...
naturalsista:confused:

Ah. Good ole personal experiences. One to grow on.

I thought it to be a hard choice to "keep him or get out of the house". Your parents are keeping your future in mind thats all. The guy is in FLORIDA. Hello! You are starting your education and all the necessaries to ensure your existence beyond college.

If dude cant be friends after what your parents decided. He is not looking after YOUR best interest. No matter how lubby dubby and new the experience of FIRST TIME SMOOCH is.

SMOOCH on the guys at PENN STATE but study your book as well.

:toast:

No, I don't belive that you were being harsh at all. I asked you for your raw opinions and thoughts right? You had many true statemets, esp. the part that I have lived a very sheltered life. I don't think I need anything sugar-coated right now, so thanx very much to everyone who has replied. Your responses were very helpful.

Much luv.
naturalsista:D

Sista, This is like dejavu'

My opinion is, You've made the correct decision. I was a year younger than you. I married him. My first love. I had no idea what I was getting into and my parent tried to inform me, but I was inlove and he was my first contact(serious)with a man. It lasted 18yrs and we were happy until I started to get out more(school/working) and seeing what I missed/missing out on. All my parents asked of me was to finish school. While he was in school getting his education I was home being a housewife and mother. I'm doing great now, but its so very easy to get off course. I had my life maped out at a very young age and one bump can redirect you. If you were shelter as I was? Take it slow. Don't let anyone rush you into anything. Also keep in mind that you know your parents love you and want what's best for you. Everyone else you have to wonder.

I agree with Sherykah wholeheartedly
You have my best wishes. Coco

first kiss
in love with a myth
i see it as if he might have liked u
yet at any cost he really didn't love u
never never would he step in the way
of your future nor school just to be bonded
and who say it would last
ya family only wants whats best for u
so trust me fine ya self a male friend closer
to u and take it from there........u did the right
thing u also answered ya self
always becareful and go in wit ya eyes wide open
good luck to u...:heart: :kiss:

You did the right thing -
You got your whole life to deal with men
concentrate on your goals and the people
helping you reach them.



somebody's momma

MisTy

At any rate he acted immaturaly and did not understand UR situation our of imaturity or he was just plain selfish, but Yes U made the correct decision to say no. I am sure UR parents R proud of U 4 UR honest decision in the end. When U have UR parents blessings U know U will be blessed.