For the brothers who have raised girls: What types of issues were you faced with? How did you talk to your little girls about puberty? Refraining from sex? Did you monitor who she dated, or did you let her date at all as a teenager? How did you handle conversations about her sexuality, and the way that she dressed? Were mood swings a problem? These questions are not just for single fathers, they are for any men who have raised daughters. I myself am a father of a little girl, so I'd like an idea of what I will be experiencing. :D I was raised in a home with all men (3 boys, 0 girls), therefore I have little reference to go on.

Okay I of course am not a man, but my father and I have always been close.

One thing I would like to tell you is that I respected my father for staying true to his word. When I was 9 he told me that I should never be afraid to come to him and tell him what is going on in my life; I should never be afraid to ask him anything, and no matter what I said he would not get angry.
The fact that he made those statements and stuck by it helped us remain close all these years. So when I had questions or feedback regarding issues about sex, life, boyfriends, he always spoke to me without anger or fear. He simply explained his viewpoint and I usually took that to heart. My mother always claimed she would listen but always got angry when I asked personal or "deep" questions.

I usually asked my father about MEN before asking my mother. I felt he had more insight on the way men regarded women. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 17 although my father told me I could date at 16.

Your daughter will more than likely get moody when she starts her menstrual cycle. But encourage sports and activities which usually lessen cramps and stress.

In short, just keep an open relationship and represent the things you want her to recognize as good in men.

Hey CarrieMonet

Thank You for your response, and great advice. I will try to keep this in mind as the years progress.

To a brother who is raising a female child, it is just like a women raising a boy child. Every man has had a figure mother in there lifes, the blessing of being a man and raising a girl child is to think as a man, and give the wisdom to a girl child that she shall be prepared for the world. Wisdom to know and wisdom to apply, every action has a re-action, and every reaction has
an effect. Spirituality comes first to build conscious of who one is.

This subject is near and dear to my heart!

I am a single father of a nine year old girl... I share all those concerns.

Forunately for me... she is pretty well adjusted, but confused about her mom. I don't think she is very confused about me though. She has a good family structure that has developed around her. She has her Aunts, and Uncle John.. of course my Mom is always around to make sure she knows how to act proper..

I had to buy her a bra! SHE IS ONLY NINE! LOL.. You should have seen me at Walmart.. buying a bra... hell.. I have no idea what kind of bra she needs!? The saleswoman was very helpful...

I have found that people in general are very helpful. I have a lot of shortcomings, and am not afraid to let somebody know when I have no idea what to do. Somebody always steps up to lend a helping hand.

Raymond

Thank you Ashanta & Captain Ray for your responses.

In truth my daughter is still a toddler, but my concern is increased because I work in a high school. I see young ladies on a daily basis behaving in ways I hope my daughter won't. I can't really go to my parents for advice because again they only had boys. Although there are some common issues between boys & girls, there are many gender specific issues that I will need help with.

I share that concern Panafrica.. My little girl is nine going on 20! She doesnt understand why I wont let her wear make-up, or where the "hippie" clothes that the other kids are all wearing.. she thinks I am just being mean..

I am not.. I just want her to grow up healthy, and not get caught up in all the trash...

I suppose the best anyone can do is their best. That's what I am shooting for. Hopefully Corina will benefit from it.

Raymond

blessings my brother your daughter is very bless, little girls are father babies anyway, teach her how to be a lady, find out her talents and develope them, keep the communication open for anything she tells you, never let her catch you in a lye, be honest the soul of a parent will follow her in life. Share with her home work and responsibilities, teach her to cook and be responsible for her self, please don't buy her love teach her that anything you get in this life must be earn, and most of all teach her to be selective, your mother is there and my king the most important thing, take her hands and take her to church, don't send her, be there with her, building a foundation in her life
is important, teach her wisdom and always make time for quality time.
My daughter is 31 she graduated from long island university. B.S. in Psycology and begin her first year in Law school in may. I must confess one thing I did not do a good job is controling her mouth, oh my God that is her weapon . She is grown now but I guess that will help her through law school.
My brother God bless you and there are many good black men out here.
But the system dose not talk about it.

there are many good black men out here.
But the system dose not talk about it.

Don't I know it.....thanks for the advice.

i got a tip for single fathers:

I think you need to get the mother on child support and or alimony.

Because she will do the same to you and plus it is her kid too she can help take care of it.

Just a thought.

Manasiac :uzi:

Manasiac...

Yeah! Wouldn't that be nice! I am afraid there is a different standard when women owe child-support. It's a sad fact of life.. but one that I have to deal with. It is true that if the table were turned, I would be held responsible..

The consensus seems to be though, that because I am a man, I will provide... and I will. No ifs, no ands, no buts.

Hey man, that's life. As long as my girl grows up healthy and strong, I don't mind.

Raymond

Hey Ray,

I believe you can get spousal support with the right legal defense. David Justice was paid Alimony by Halle Berry when they broke up, and In a court of law with the right legal articulator gender is thrown out of the window.

Manasiac :uzi:

Spousal support is not something I would seek. Child support however would be nice, if only symbolically. I really don't need her money. That has never been the point. It's the principal of the thing.


It's no big deal really.. well it is, but it's not a crisis for us. We pay the bills, and eat pretty well.... and I still have enough left over for high speed Internet access!! things aren't all bad.

Raymond

yo corel preciate the chicks dude.