American eyes take a beating everyday as they are exposed to size 16 women wearing size 4 women’s’ clothes. The styles today, as they were yesterday, fit proportionate women with size 2 to 8 bodies—period. There is no leeway for oversize *****, bellies or breasts.

My eyes are regularly offended by size 18 ***** stretching a pair of size 8 jeans to the screaming point. It makes a great topic for humor, but it really hurts my eyes. I know I am setting myself up to be drop kicked across the room, but I have to say it—everybody, with the emphasis on body, can't wear everything and that goes for men and women.

I am talking about women first because they seem to be prone to doing more than men; although I am sure that there are those who are ready to debate that point. I know the bare midriff look with hip-huggers is in, but I don't want to see your C-section scar or the several places where your belly button could be hiding.

Come on ladies, rolls go on the bakery shelf, not out in public. I saw a lady walk past me at the airport and it looked like she had a package of hotdogs strapped around her waist. That is unnecessary. For you women with big breastes, if you have more than 2.567 inches of cleavage—leave the scooped top on the shelf. Cleavage is nice, but a view of the San Andreus fault is disgusting. Obviously, if you breasts touch your belt, or worse, if you can tuck them in to your belt—the tube top isn’t for you. If your bra size is a 36-long—forget it! Capri pants are popular and they look good on some women, but if your are too short, they look like high-waters.

How do you fix this? Get you some honest friends. Friends who will tell you that your *** is too big to wear certain things. Recently, my sister asked both of her sister-in-laws what they thought of a skirt she proposed to wear to a dance. They both rejected it immediately. She wore it anyway. They didn't tell her why, but I did. She's 46-years-old, has a wide flat ***, has no figure and has school teacher legs because they look like pencils in her shoes. She doesn’s have any business wearing a mini-skirt that would look better on me than her and I told her so.

She wore it anyway. I didn't tell her how many glares I cut at men and women who wanted to say something about her as she walked past. As a brother protecting his sister, I don't want to hear anyone say anything bad about her, except me. I'm her brother, I love her and I am only saying what I think she should know.

I don't wear Speedo swimming trunks, not because I don't like them, but because I don't want overhear someone talking about that "look at that fool in those tight *** swimming trunks." I like the baggy style of pants, but I'm only 5'9 and they make me look like I'm about three feet tall. I don't wear muscle shirts anymore because my muscles are on vacation. I've given up wearing my favorite things out of respect for myself and others. I still weigh 185 pounds, just like I did in high school, unfortunately for me it has shifted South and it ain't pretty.

"Well this is who I am and if other folks don't like it they can kiss my ***," I hear many people say and that is their prerogative, but don't be offended when you hear snickers and giggles when you walk past. Remember the next time you are buying clothes, just because it’s in your size doesn't mean you ought to wear it.


(Of course, I'm bear baiting, but what are friends for. Is anyone else willing to defend or attack?)


:D

most know what they can wear or not they just stick self in
like a packed can of beans
now some big women look good strap in fitted stuff
but ya right why fool self thing it's all good when ya a mess
we have bruthas like dis too
what the hell da world has come too !!!????

LOL! So you told her and she wore it anyway :)

So I guess for a fix, we need more than honest friends huh? We've all seen what you have described, and we probably have asked the same question. The mindset of those that wear these outfits are probably best described by what I heard on American Idols during the auditions...to the world some of the contestants couldn't sing a lick and it was obvious to everyone but them...those contestants actually thought they had a nice voice....these folks probably think they really look good....afterall beauty is in the eye of the beholder :D

I'm just being realistic--my *** has grown and I know some things just don't look good on me because my *** is just to big, but I don't force it--I can't trick myself because I see very well what walks past the mirror each morning--however, I still look good in a fitted suit or casual slacks with Italian loafers--so, that's what I wear--my sistem will never change--the snickers are even louder now as she is approaching 50--she doesn't get it--oh well--to each his or her own, but I'll keep my gut to myself--Ra

;)

indeed ya right man ...............
why go out and make a fool out one self
showing rolls like a rolla costa ride or something
when ya butt get too big and ya age growing as well
face da facts ya no teenager no mo !!!!
high school dips has turn to old flab
so wear what's best to fit ya body style
well we only can speak our minds but so few listen
til somebody on da streets make big fun of them
it will happen .............me i'll just flow wit my new ways
and what look best on me not trying to get in them
squeeze push pull stuff i know i will look silly in
man what's wrong wit ' em !?????

I ain't cute no more PERIOD--Ra

:D

now I am in no way a small sista, but I ain't no Discovery Channel Special either. Im 5'6 and weigh 160. My weight is up and down but 160 is my max. You will neva and I mean neva catch me expozing my gut (yeah 2 kids) or the twinz (they ain't gone act right)... I mean me and my hubby have fights because he wants to see me in revealing stuff. But if it's made outta spandex or that other clingy material you can forget that crap I ain't wearing it.

I too am eye assaulted on a daily basis by the plus size women wearing the petite size clothes. It's very difficult for me to find clothes that fit just right. I'm not small then I'm not big either. I'm in the middle. It takes me hours to find a shirt because a sista is top heavy if you know what I mean. I got hips, I got ***, I got legs and thighs.... so it takes even longer to find pants, shorts and skirts (which I think are cut for white girls thank God for FUBU and Baby Phat, brang the dayum prices down). The only thing I can just buy is a joggin suit and my hubby would have a bonefied fit if we went out and I had that on.

Not hating on the larger sisters but dayum yall just cause it's in your size don't mean you need to wear it. There is plenty of stuff that I could wear but I'd spend half of the time digging it outta my butt or pulling the shirt down or adjusting something and that just wouldn't be no fun at all if I'm trying to strut.........


and for all the brovas that think that tight *** muscle shirt is showing off ya six pack.... take another look cause all that dunlap (stomach done lapped ova the belt) ain't sexy. You can be sexy and wear clothes that fit..... men and women need to do a double take before they go out the house and learn to take the advice of ya peeps who tell you you look like a hotdayummess..... we really mean that

Ra I got yo back


One

u right some need to cross da mirror coz they sho nuff
headed to a laugh in ..............

I know how I look and I don't want anybody talking about anymore than they do--I forgot about thaty pulling things out of your crack and wrestling **** down over your stomach--whoo--how about those pants that make your legs sore--they say you got to suffer to be beautiful--I cain't do it--Ra

:)

You make a very good point. I believe that a lot of woman should listen to you on this. I'm a senior<will be this fall> in high school. I can't tell you haow many big woman are try to to that. I myself used to be guilty of the exact same thing that you're talking about. I'm 5,5 and I weight 145 . Those low riders ain't cuttin it either. The majority of African-American woman have ***....and it's developing at a young age. I go to a school where the majority of the race is white. I see skinny white girls that can wear low riders.....(personally, I don't like jeans that it's fashionable to show the crack of my asss..it ain't cute)But then I turn around and I see..........girls as young as 14 i low riders and tops that ....:eek: don't ask man...Lots of girls are delveloping younger and younger. And to me, it's all starts at the home

Amun-Ra, I didn't take what you wrote as your intention to insult anyone, but to speak the truth. So I accept it as something positive and think it's information that could be very helpful to us as a Black community.

The way we dress today is influenced by whom? Not only are these outfits fashion disasters they are also health hazards. Instead of a fashion label some should also come with the surgeon general's warning label sewed in. The way they are designed, the way they are cut...some of them might as well include a label: NOT MADE FOR BLACK PEOPLE.

To add to your list, let's not forget the infamously famous "thong". Will someone tell me what the purpose of a thong is? What is so natural about walking around with a piece of elastic string stuffed in your butt? Is it sexy? Is it functional? If you don't want a panty line, then go panty-free. That makes far more sense to me.

You speak of cleavage and how much you think should be appropriate to advertise. Has anyone told Aretha? A man created the bra...a chest harness and for what? Who is it bothering if women's breasts are set free to jiggle and sway as they see fit? All breasts aren't small and perky or artifically enhanced--let's face it. But I agree Black women should wear outfits that enhance her beauty and not draw away from it.

What is the purpose of pantyhose? Yet millions of women stuff themselves in these elastic tubes like armor everyday. Some would feel naked without them. But they often prohibit fresh air reaching places that need it. They can be hot and be uncomfortable.

Gynecologists are seeing an increase in all kinds of rashes, vaginal infections and physical aches and pains in women caused by clothes not made for Black women's bodies. Yet we still wear these clothes because they're the latest style and we suffer the consequences .

We need to stop believing the hype. Most fashion designers are European and as quiet as it's kept, the average white woman isn't a size 2 or 4 either. But because that's what's portrayed in the media, flashing across our televisions in music videos by the majority of today's young artists, women in our society are running to the stores buying up these clothes without giving it a second thought as to how she looks when she stuffs herself into those outfits.

The voluntary act of starving one's self (anorexia/bulimia) is on the rise among our young women. Binge eating and throwing up or not eating at all--to try and be skinny. Some of our women are doing unnatural and unhealthy things to try to look like a toothpick. They see J-Lo on the latest cover of Vibe magazine with her cosmetically and airbrushed curved behind stuck out toward the camera with a pair of smoke shorts on (white women call them hotpants) and they want to look like her. How many care whether that's how she looks naturally or not?

More and more Black women are going under the knife seeking cosmetic surgery to "enhance" their natural beauty or just change how they look altogether. They want the pseudo-European look now. False breasts, thinned noses, flatter stomachs, slimmer thighs and smaller butts. Do they care that Miss Jackson doesn't really look like that? Of course not, they just wanna be like her.

Now Black women need to know the difference between being obese or over-weight and having natural curves. I read an article in Essence magazine a few years ago entitled, "Fat Is A Black Woman's Issue." Essentially it was saying that because Black women don't fit the stereotype of beauty in America, she develops issues with the way she looks and begins to hate her looks. So she over-eats.

We are not meant to look like sticks. We need to start loving ourselves and stop trying to conform (or assimilate into) to whatever the media says we should look like and how we should dress. Quit looking at Victoria Secret, stop believing the hype, love your curves and dress them in ways that compliment them and you. If you wanna turn heads when you walk in a room, let it be because people find you pleasing to the eye and not blinded by the sight.

Self-confidence, self-love, self-awareness, knowledge. . . does more to make you beautiful than the clothes you wear.

Peace and thanks for the topic!

I don't agree with every single thing Amun Ra and $$Rich$$ said, but ya'll got me rolling over here, I hear that comment all the time from my friends regarding "big" size women, but remember the majority of women in America are over size 12. So what you think is tacky or disgusting is the normal size for women nowadays. NNQueen you made some real good points.

What you say seem to be true--Frequently, in the black community itg is mentioned that both men and women suffer from a lack of esteem, but sometimes I think we have far too much esteem for ourselves and not enough common sense--Ra

:)

Common sense. What is that and what sense should be "common" among us?

Large, soft breasts with deep cleavages in low necklines, round bellies with sunken navels exposed, stretch marks, surgical scars for all to see, plump and dimpled butts straining from trying to be contained in low riding slacks with just a wee bit of cleavage showing, thick thighs showing from underneath a short skirt. Is it a lack of common sense if people reveal their true selves or should the truth be hidden? Don't we prefer it when people are being honest? If people think they look good and you don't agree, then who's problem is it really?

Is it that people who dress in revealing clothes lack self-esteem or could it be just the opposite and they have healthy esteem? Too much esteem? To the degree that people willfully dress as they please? Why do we judge? If we cover up what we consider "flaws" with our own bodies, that only shows what we think of ourselves as compared to....what....some standard? And if so, by whose standards? Do we not like our bodies? Do we see a "problem" with our bodies because we may be soft in some areas and plump in others? If we don't like what we see, why should we judge others who do?

People who see a person's body and is repulsed by it, what are they really thinking? ..ooO(that is ugly...they're too fat...now they should be ashamed of themselves to wear something like that! What were they thinking, that they looked good?) By what standard do we define "beauty" or how do we really decide what's eye-appealing? Do you think if we lived in a culture where large breasts hanging low, rounder tummies and broad hips were the "norm", we'd be repulsed when we saw women like this?

Should it be illegal for women to breastfeed in public or show their pregnant bellies in public? Is that repulsive to some too? It's cultural folks.

I'd rather challenge American society's standards of beauty and the fashion industry that perpetuates America's myths of beauty and give my sisters something to work with that works to flatter them. In the meantime, let them strut their stuff as long as it's not creating health problems for them.

The beholder that doesn't see "beauty" when they look, well, by which ruler are you using to measure it?

I was beginning to wonder if we would have a dissenting word--yes! We criticize because we can--that is the only reason--on the other hand, I worry that we are not taken seriously and that we cannot do the same things as others folks--right or wrong--that is what I see--we have to be twice or thrice as good--everybody does it isn't enough--we must critique ourselves as a people and part of that has to do with what we laugh at behind the scenes and stand up for in public forums--it is a double edged sword--I have a list of things that as black people I think we cannot afford to be a part of, but it runs aground the shores of individual freedom and a benevolent dictator is still a dictator--I just know we can do better at a whole lot of things, but it means self-denial and that is something that I don't think we are ready to do. For instance, there isn't a thing wrong with taking a drink, but as a people liquor is the last thing we need when it comes to clear thinking and getting ahead. I love to party. Everyone loves to party, but maybe we should be busting *** developing businesses and ideas and let the rest party themselves into second-class citizenship. I care too much and that is the problem because I tend to see things in black and white and there is so much room in-between.

Ra

:heart:

Affects of westernized thinking when it comes to beauty.

http://www.csmonitor.com/atcsmonitor/specials/women/mirror/mirror122399.html

I was well into a long dissertation when my computer went to the next page and I lost all I had typed--basically, all said was that essentially the world is a global village and westernism has touuched or tainted, however you like it, the remiander of the world. That doesn't mean it is all bad. Personally, I prefer dark, thin people as my amorous favorites. That is probably a very liited view considering the host of possibilities in what has become a global village. Perhaps, I am limiting myself unnaturally. There is a tendency toward thinking that everything out of Africa is good and everything out of Europe is bad which is absurd. Good ideas, inventions and technology are independent of their political origins as early settlers discovered when they stole idea and inventions from the Indians and slaves. They were good ideas. Unfortunately, there is a brand of Afrocentrism going about that lays claim to every significant discovery and invention in history with a straight face. Although, the current scientific theory shows that we all came out of Africa, claiming all people of African descent is also ludicrous because there is no clear line to make a delineation. Are the Egyptians Africans? Technically, they are. They live on the African continent, ergo, they must be Africans; or are they? Are the Spaniards who were conquered by the Moors of African descent? Yes and no. In the final analysis each determines their origins and lays claim to a particularly ethnicity. Claiming after the fact is no better than claiming relationship with a famous person. Eastern thought is often given short shrift even though Eastern cultures were civilized long before Western society climbed out of the trees and moved into caves. My point? Simply that we all have our individual tastes and they run according to local custom with local communities. For instance, in my home town there is a clear preference for big women among the black agrarian culture there. It has been like that for as long as I remember, but just a few miles away, slim women rule. What makes up the difference--I don't know. Maybe it is agrarian attitude versus an urban reality. Who knows, but it is fun to think about--why do we make the choices we do? Family? Friends? Society? All of the above? I wish I knew, but as you can see, I have no problem giving an opinion which means that everyone else can have one too and as to who is right--I don't think that can ever be settled.

Ra

:heart:

what i'm saying is a big woman can look good at her size
but i mean look what they try to wear these tyte tops and
stuff that strips them from their beauty and guys too
they are even worse once u spread understand u can't get into that no more and it don't make u look good
don't get me wrong i have seen big women with high esteem
and i tell u they look good too the fashion of cloth they wear
make them look even better but if it don't fit don't force it !!!!
$R

okay wooooo here I go....

me I am not how you say a big girl but I have some parts of my body that is juicer or thicker (as I like to say) then the average video girl. I know my limits my breast size is 34 C and I know that some shirts are cut too low and I just can't and will not wear it. it pains me to see a woman with my size breast OR bigger and a low cut shirt showing the strecth marks from the strain on her chest. also my behind is not as big as most but I am not absolutely flat I wear capris but if they are tight (which they hardly are because my body is beautiful without the tight fitting clothes) I wear a shirt that covers what God gave me. I look at talk shows since summer has rolled around and I'm not teaching and the shows (i.e. Jenny, Ricki, and yes Jerry) are just down right outrageous I am digusted at women especially beautiful black women disgracing thereselves in such a way that there body looks like who did it and why?

my body is one thing that I do have control over and I don't feel the need to put myself in tight clothing or clevage showing bras/shirts. I know some women actually seriously think they look good with there tight clothes and me being the person I am hate and yes seriously I hate hurting another feeling in any way because I know the feeling. BUT I will tell you what not to wear or what don't and won't look respectable to alls eyes if you are my girl my man or a friendly woman in a store.

I luv to see my sistahs and bruthas lookin good but some are just incapable of seeing what they really look like. I try my damnest to let people know it's just how I was brought up, if a womans hair is messed up I reach out put it back how it was or either tell her. BUT here is the problem people, women mostly get pissed the fullest when you even offer your advice. All the issues ya'll are discussin travels right back to the person. You never know what people think they look like, you never know what kind of day there having, all you know is that what they have on is not appealing to your eyes. I know I'm kinda traveling in circles but what I'm sayin is that basically ignorance is bliss. Women and men would rather ignore your comments, giggles, staring eyes, and offerings of help then actually take the time and listen to your advice. Because of course they have mirrors and they know they looked good when they woke up and put on those clothes, most will tell you there the best lookin out there. Well I don't know what to say but **** it's a never ending circle. We can not and probably will not change many peoples point of view on what they wear because to each his or her own right?

well it's gettin late and I have to post a few other things so until next time

I'm just sayin...

p.s. Amun I don't appreciate the commment about teachers legs I'm in teacher and my legs don't look like pencils lol I'm jus sayin

lol...........serenti.......i know ya leg is nice
but i have seen a lot of my teachers legs
and they was small .............i had one who had great legs
in high school

We cannot become the fashion police--itg is illegal and people are going to wear what they want to wear regardless of the assault on others eyes--the best we can do is look away and laugh to ourselves and hope that we have friends and family strong enough not to let us go out into the world looking like clowns--I was on the beach recently and I saw what others had been telling me about--fake toenails! I was too outdone. I thought they were lying trying to be funny--they weren't--oh well--I'll keep hiding my flaws the best I can so I don't have to see them--you see to be aware of what is best for you and work with what you have--we can dress well without looking like circus performers--I saw that on Oprah--she had a before and after for big women and I was amazed--just a few tips on what clothes to wear made the difference--Ra

;)

You are so right. People these days are so quick to try to call someone a "hater" or worse, that they don't take the time to open their own eyes. The hardest people to judge will always be ourselves. Its a fact of life. But I am a size 16, and a size 10 or 12 may be mocking me or sitting lustily on a hanger, but lust is one of the seven deadly sins ya know. Women realize with age or wisdom what is good for them and what is not. If they don't, I think they may be entering the Desperate Zone. :lol: But all trials pass with time. One day these females will understand the say "If the milk is free, why buy the cow."

but let me hush my mouth jet like brett!!! :sand:

I try to front when da young gals are around but they know I got everything sucked until I don ranb out of breaf--Ra

:D

lol @RICH

Amun-Ra this might be on another tip but the otha day I was lookin at Jenny Jones because of course I had nothin to do and they were having shows on young girls (ages 14-17) that wore skimpy or too revealing clothes. Some of the girls were of course a little overweight and when they came out the crowd booed them. Now I think in my own personal opinion that no one can hurt you like a. family b. a lover c.a friend. and d. a stranger I think all those are explanatory but if not just ask well anyway they came on the show because of there clothes and attitudes and of course little did they know they were getting a make over too. SO of course they had the man from boot camp come scare the devils out of them and when they came out they were made over and lookin quite beautiful if you ask me. and at the end of the show like always they started crying and saying I luv you mom I'm gonna dress like this from now on. Weeeeell they did updates and 60% of the teens didn't change at all. I really do I wish I could help my fellow bruthas and sistah (of all races) in what they wear and takin it even further their attitude but some people are just how do you say stuck in there ways. It's gonna take a real harsh comment from one of the above people (i.e. family, lover) to really get some since into them until then we can only offer at every chance we get. :)

p.s. you know you silly suckin it in when the youngins come around lol

lol @ serenti---those shows are so generic!!! Especially w/ jenny jones. u mau catch one on ricki or some1 else but jenny seems to have pride in doin that. this may seems a little stupid, but one time, i was watching an episode of south park (i usually don't watch too much of the idiot box) where cartman dressed like a hoochie teen to go on a show and whoever was the baddest won about 300 dollars or somethin like that. and the whole time all he said was "whateva!! I do what i want!!!" girl if u woulda heard it....:lol:

Anyway the moral of the story is none of television is really what it seems....unless u watchin the discovery channel or maternity ward or somethin like that. I doubt those teens really gave a **** what jenny was gonna do to them or what she was gonna say. they probably knew the business anyway.

And you were so right about the abcd thing. That is so true!!!

:heart: :heart: PLAY :heart: :heart:

Pimp see I kind of figured that and I'm glad you cleared it up for me. It just like even though it's generic that's mostly how it happens in real like if someone tries to help you change I'm not saying you won't but more likely then not you'll stay stuck in your ways. I'm glad you found that my abcd thing was right lol my mama told me that when I was a little girl. I don't know what to make of this situation, I guess all we can do is pray our fellow bruthas and sistahs will one day come to their senses. lol :) much luv until then/

One of dem young gals come tell me I look good and I can go home and pretend she meant it--makes my day--but I cain't never hold my breath long enough--besides they gray in my mustache gives me away instead of making me distinguished--so I carry my big *** home and think of all that young, firm flesh and then I cry myself to sleep and wake up thinking of new ways to embarass myself--Ra

:D

@ Amun Ra

You give me joke but have to agree with you on your observations on women squeezing into clothes that is not their size and does not compliment them in anyway shape or form.

I'm joking about it--nut it really isn't that funny--I am conscious of everything about myself including my odor, dandruff, hygiene and how my clothes fit and I won't give people a reson to talk about me behind my back even though I know they do anyway--so they can kiss my big behind!

:)