ra, i've met this guy via internet. we have discovered feelings for each other and we are to meet finally, this weekend. we've been chatting seriously n talkin via phone for the past 3 or so months.

i've expressed that upon our first meeting, sex is out of the question. he said he is ready to settle down, but we have to wait till we bothe meet face to face to see if the chemistry is all that. my question is, even if things work out, should i refrain from sex, cause i'm wondering if it really matters. like even if we don't do anything the first time, what about the second or 7th time. i don't want anything to ruin our realtionship, so helP????
:confused: :confused: :confused:

thanks yall. well i definitely won't with him for a while. that is even if we meet at alll.........:look:

no sex!! it would be different if you reeaallly knew each other, but it would be complete/better if you were married- that's real.

what you have here is a connection; wait until you have a bond (unity) in God.

You don't have a relationship with this man, you have a penpal! I hope you take the time to get to know him and don't rush into anything. Your body is precious, treat it so.

A woman can use sex to get a man but sex will not keep a man. You should, as a sistah, consider any man being intimate with you a privledge!! If he cannot respect your wishes to wait you may have to reevalutate him. I donot look for sex on the first date. I donot want it if it is that easy,considering aids and baby-momma dramma. Just take your time and enjoy the moment. You will know when the time is right. Donot go looking for love let it find you.

Don't do it sistah. Get to know this man before you give this man your most precious gift.

again sexuality ...... i say no to you because sex will not keep him
or will he even want u again like others said i agree will all
what u have is very precious it's your jewel be not a dipping bag
lust be not of such sexuality

don't do it !!!!

I hate to be the voice of dissention but......This is a decision you have to make based on what YOU think and how you feel when faced with the opportunity to share the ulitmate intimacy with this man. Your decision should not be based on what society thinks is right or wrong. It should be based on wheather or not you feel you have a true connection with this man or if in fact he was just a penpal. I agree that if he is not willing to respect your wishes there needs to be an evaluation of the possiblity of your relationship being long term. I believe you all are fooling yourselves if you think that sex is not important. I agree that it should not be the basis for a relationship...so waiting may allow one to assess the situation without confusion. But...If there is no compatiblity sexually there will be problems. However, shallow that may sound it is the truth. The man is more apt to cheat because he is not getting good sex or enough of it. The woman tends to cheat because she is not fulfilied in other areas, but in either case SEX causes over 60 percent of break ups. So... to say it is not important is not realistic.

When is the right time for sex? When its the right time. Seriously, you say you must see what type of chemistry you have but chemistry is an on going thing--it is developed--often we mistake sex drive for chemistry--two different things--when is the right time--the right time--if it is not a natural giving, then it is not the right time--it could be the first time you meet or it could be six months later--the chemistry lies in the relationship--if you develop a relationship, then the rest is moot--it will be the right time--Ra

:)

wow, Aoo7, your sound the most realistic thus far, although i appreciate all comments. folk say, wait till ya married, don't do this or that. there is no absolute truth and nothing is guranteed.

thanks for all the help.

Girl giving your self to a man you heardly know that could be gay, bisexual, or carrying some type of disease is not worth it. If this is something real. He can wait and so can you. Life is too short and too valuable to risk it that way. 1 out of 5 people get some type of incurable disease even when using a condom. Do you want to be that 1 out of 5. Yeah it's hard to tell when sex is the right time but many people have sex because in today's society, having sex is not a big deal, so all i can say is only you know when the right time is. I'm not saying by no means wait til marriage but are you really ready to give you self to him. Do he really deserve that part of you, cause once you do it it's no going back.

Sista the decision is yours. I would not have sex with him. If you want to build a relationship you must first build that friendship. Not one over the internet. You will know if that man is the right one when you meet him. I realize that saying for every good woman there is a good man, but sometimes it takes time to find him. What ever you do take your time and don't be on his. Peace.

Sex??????/ U son't even know this man........Play it safe and keep your butt in your neck of the woods... Let him come to you if you really feel the need 2 meet him.......Take it from me... All that sounds, looks, smells, and feels so good that u just dont want to give it up.......IS NOT ALWAYS GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!! good luck...

dig it.........

For the most part, I agree with both of your perspectives.

I think that when you feel you are really and I mean really ready is when you should have sex. i am 16 and I feel that when I am ready to do it I will do it. Despite what anyone says it is really your decision. Cause this decision and its a big one. It could mean life or death depending on how you do it. Use protection please to protect yourself from STDs. Cause sex can be pleasurable but it can also be deadly.

I think that when you feel you are really and I mean really ready is when you should have sex. i am 16 and I feel that when I am ready to do it I will do it. Despite what anyone says it is really your decision. Cause this decision and its a big one. It could mean life or death depending on how you do it. Use protection please to protect yourself from STDs. Cause sex can be pleasurable but it can also be deadly. Holla if you like what I have to say!

if you want it, do it ...but only if your abollutly sure. Sex down to the last moment should be 100% positve..meaning that you really wanted it at the time...Rather he was a "penpal" or whatever...you can be looking for a quickie or a realtionship.. it all lies within you

Originally posted by Amun-Ra
When is the right time for sex? When its the right time. Seriously, you say you must see what type of chemistry you have but chemistry is an on going thing--it is developed--often we mistake sex drive for chemistry--two different things--when is the right time--the right time--if it is not a natural giving, then it is not the right time--it could be the first time you meet or it could be six months later--the chemistry lies in the relationship--if you develop a relationship, then the rest is moot--it will be the right time--Ra

:)


:toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :kiss: :star: :star: :star: :star:

. . . the night time is the right time. I love that song, but as you repeated "the right time is the right time."

Ra

:D