Destee briefly touched on this subject in her "Are Latinos Africans?" thread, but I would like to outright ask how people would feel about dating black people from different countries? It is no secret that African American men & women have had some difficulties in recent years in terms of what we expect from one another, and dating prospects within the African American community. Indeed there have been numerous radioshows and magazine articles in Essence, Sister-to-Sister, Ebony, Black Male, etc, on this subject. Typical in these debates will be statistics showing the number of African American men in prisons, the number of homosexuals in the African American community; single mothers raising children without the support of any male figure; the ratio of educated black women compared to that of educated black men; and arguments about the so-called shortage of black males.

In almost all of these debates, choosing to date different cultures is a proposed solution to the perceived shortage of desirable dating prospects in the African American community. By different cultures, the authors and participants of these debates are refering to different races: Meaning Whites, Hispanics, and Asians. However, it is not necessary to go outside of the race to explore different cultures and attitudes towards dating, family, and male-female relations.

Black people are literally all over the world. Occupying over 40 different countries in Africa alone, as well as countries in Europe, the Caribbean, South America, Canada, and Asia. Each country has its own unique culture, beliefs, and value system. Therefore the attitudes and social structure that many African Americans believe to be representative of black people in general, are in reality unique to African Americans, not blacks across the Diaspora. One example to illustrate this is the high number of single mother families among African Americans is unique to blacks in this country. Africans generally don't have this problem, as African men strongly believe in taking care of their kids (in some parts of Nigeria if a man leaves his wife, he takes the kids with him).

It is easier to relate with someone of our own race rather than someone of a different race (no matter where they come from). It will be beneficial to the black community to look towards our sistas & brothas in the Diaspora before we seek to date outside the race.

Peace-PanAfrica

i agree coz their is many places that has their own beliefs
yet so many cross over to different cultures seeking love
and seeing how others live and relationships work
some fine it best for them and some can't handle the way
it works
we need to build on our own coz we understand the struggle

i may b about 2 find out how i feel about it.

about 18 months ago, i purchased the names & addresses of 5 ghanian women that were seeking companionship or potential partners from other countries. i sent an introductory letter to all 5. 3 of them wrote me back. the correspondance continued along nicely for about 8 months. then, 1 of the women simply stopped writing. of the remaining two, it became clear that 1 of them had something entirely different n mind from myself, so, i wished her well but terminated the correspondence.

i hope to meet the 1 & only ghanaian female i m still corresponding w later this yr when i travel to ghana. so, i m open to meeting, dateing, friendship or whatever is mutually desired, but i hope 2 b n a much better position 2 answer ur ? later on this yr.

I wouldn't be opposed to developing a friendship with Black men from other countries. In fact, I think that could be rather interesting. I find African men intriguing and the one's I've met personally, were extremely kind and very respectful. They had a quiet and gentle nature about them; no posturing or display of arrogance like many of my Black American brothers. I found that to be refreshing. The one problem I would have though is if their culture permits abuse of women or oppresses women. I don't accept abusiveness from Black American men. Also, there are certain "freedoms" that I have now that would be extremely difficult, almost painful for me to live without.

It is a misperception that all African men believe in Polygamy, and that women in Africa have no rights. Customs vary greatly by different ethnic groups. My wife's ethnic group (the Bubi of Equatorial Guinea) for example do not believe in polygamy. In fact she would kick my butt if I tried to bring another woman home..........lol! I don't want to break down every ethnic group in Africa's maritial beliefs because it would take to long. However it is safe to say that a good number do not believe in Polygamy. And of the one's that do, most no longer practice it for economic reasons. Also women in Africa have more rights today than they ever have (as witnessed in the ever increasing number of African women in colleges and becoming professionals).

Your concerns are still valid though NNQueen. I would advice any person (male or female) that is involved with an African to learn about their culture from the beginning. In order to see the beliefs and value system of their culture, and to compare that with your beliefs and value system. Actually this goes for anyone that is involved with someone from a different country.

Yes, I would date a Sister from another country. I totally believe in doing what's best for the relationship and the family...and hence, our people. Understanding her culture, beliefs, and value system is a must...and she must understand mine. And from there, we can choose to follow what we wish...live the way we so choose to live...as long as it's grounded in the will of GOD.

I think it would be quite interesting as well to date someone from a different country as NNQueen as stated.

However, at this time, my mind is thoroughly set on an African American Sister in America.

it's all good indeed like panafrica said learn them going in
i would

I do think it's great to date, marry other people of African heritage.. It is an adventure to explore other perspectives. I marreid a woman from California of Arab/Eritrian heritage, But grow up in the states. it is a wonderfull expeirance I would not change for the world. I am a Afro-Rican by the way, of African/Taino ancestry.

Hi Corvo and welcome to the forum! :)

I don't have a problem with "Africans" but many of the ones I've met seem to feel as if "African-Americans" are not "authetic" (since we weren't born on the continent), are under-educated and are lazy. I've debated with many who seem to exploit the disconnection that currently exists between the 2 groups. They (the ones I spoke to) feel as if we use slavery as a crutch to validate our lowly status in this country and as the direct descendants of nurse-maids, field-hands, cooks, we are beneath them. To them we aren't "pure" Africans--we circulate too much colonialized blood--we are just mongels who happen to share distant ancestors.
They've bought into the stereotypes that are perpetuated about African-Americans in this country that we are all criminally-inclined, morally-lacking and spiritually-devoid.
I have a cousin who lives in London--most of the African men over there are highly respected because they came "abroad" to be educated so their presence amongst White Britons is justified. Whereas African-Americans just exist on the perphiery of White America leeching off what we feel we're owed--unless you're an entertainer or athlete. When a white Briton looks at a African in London--he sees possibley a Doctor, a Professor, etc. When a white American looks at an African-American in New York he sees a possible drug-dealer, a mugger, etc.
So we should be asking our African Brothas and Sistas would they date their American counterparts?.................

Hello Monteg

From my experience (married to an African, friends to many Africans, and belonging to a few African organizations), I think the Africans you've meet do not represent all Africans in this country. It is true that many African immigrants who come to this country mostly have high standards. As they should, because most are highly educated, and have come here to advance themselves. However, I don't think most Africans are hostile to African Americans (despite what the media portrays). If you should a knowledge and respect for their culture most will look at you like a brother/sister

Hey would any brotha date me???? I think so, I think I would date a black brotha from ANY other part of the world...simply because even though we are brought up in different parts of the world and we grow up in different political, economic and social climates, i would like to believe we are all beads in the same necklace...different colours and some are big, some are small, different shades of the same colour but we all form a significant character in that string...i draw the line when it comes to dating white guys...but that's an issue on its own i suppose...

Now monetg (scorp), what you wrote upset me! True, the people that you talked to aren't representative of ALL Africans, but still...to know that even SOME feel that way is bothersome.

Now I'm very curious. Since I work on a large college campus, we do have all types of programs and curricula that focuses on Africa and Africans. I'm inclined to contact an African graduate student group to seek their opinions. They represent just about every African country so I should get a good cross-mix of opinions.

I'm happy to say that the ones I have met were always nice and respectful. I've made some good friends--male and female. Many have invited me to visit them in Africa and serve as my host/esse and guide. The majority I've met are from S. Africa (Durban, Capetown and Johannesburg), Swaziland, Uganda, Sierre Leone and Zimbabwe.

But you know the truth, even though I said I'd enjoy building a friendship with a Black man from a different country, I wonder whether this American culture could make that a difficult thing for me to do. I say that because I'm accustomed to being independent and speaking up. You all didn't know that about me, huh? :D

Awwww, Queen...you know we know...and respect it...and welcome it.

Well, let me put my spin on this issue. I must agree with monetg. Some Africans can be a trip about how they perceive us. I'd like to share two conversations that I had with two friends of mine...an African (Eritrean) and a Black American (This convo took place last night - 5/13/03).

At Wasthington State University (WSU), I had the opportunity to meet a large group of Africans from Nigeria, Swaziland, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Rwanda, Eritrea, and Kenya. Black Americans and Africans socialized quite often...as it should be. As an Eritrean friend and I were discussing different topics of interest to us, someone brought up the topic of dating. She shared a conversation she had with her Mama about which men to date and/or marry from which region or country. Her Mama wanted her to date and marry someone from her village. If not, any African in Africa would do...except a Nigerian. And I asked...why? She said that Nigerians are looked down upon because they are selfish and manipulative...very conniving. (I asked another African male friend of mine was this true...and he confirmed it. He was from Swaziland.) However, if she was to marry a man from America, marry a White man. Ok...at this point, I sat up. Not jumping all over her for that comment, I asked...why did your Mama feel that way? She said that there was an Eritrean woman who had married a Black American man...and he treated her horribly. One Black man from America treated one Eritrean woman horribly...and you condemn ALL Black men in or from America? She said she knows that it is wrong, but that's what her Mama told her. I was shocked...stunned.

I had a conversation with a Black American friend of mine last night. She shared with me a conversation she had with an African. If I remember correctly, he was born and raised in Ghana but now lives in Sierra Leone. He shared with her his perception of White people and Black Americans. He believes White people are helping Africans in Africa. And, he also believes that White people brought with them knowledge...but that Africans were too ignorant to receive it. He said that Black Americans are ungrateful for the opportunity to be in America. She was blown away by these comments....so much so that she was 40 minutes late to her class. He went on to say that they are taught that White people have done so much for Africans (in Africa and abroad) but Africans don't appreciate it. She tried to explain to him that Black Americans are oppressed in America just like Africans all over are being oppressed. But the more she listed the injustices of White people, the more he became irate. So, she ended the discussion of White people...and initiated a discussion about what all Africans can do to make our situation better. From then on, they were able to settle down into a nice, friendly conversation about Africans worldwide.

In the African group at WSU, there existed a diverse perception of Black Americans between them. Some think like the brotha in the previous conversation...that Black Americans are lazy and ungrateful. And some understand the plight of Black Americans and that the struggle continues. We've got a long way to go...but we can prevail.

Deep!!!

Deep? Not necessarily so. It isn't surprising to encounter an African that has a stereotypical view of African Americans because many base their views on media images they see about us (tv news reports, newspaper reports, etc). Unfortunately some misguided individuals buy into those views and act on them. We have the same in our community. African Americans that base their views about Africans by what we see on TV (savage, bones in their noses, always at war, all infested with HIV, etc).

Not only that but we have individuals in our community that promote stereotypes against ourselves: All black men are dogs, don't take care of their child, all want white women, etc. All black women are hoes, all have multiple kids by multiple men, are gold diggers, etc. However, it is not wise to base our opinion on an entire people/continent because of encounters with a misguided few.

Truth be told I have also encountered Africans who turn their nose down on African Americans, but I have encounter many more who look at African Americans as brothers and sisters. I tend to think the latter are in the majority.

Deep meaning that we have a lot of work to do.

We have to stop the madness and start using our common sense. We've all (native Africans and African Americans) been exposed to slavery, domination over and control by others for too long. Sysematic racism is powerful and it effectively divides us to the point that we don't love and trust our own.

I didn't interpret the examples given about how some Africans think about African Americans to mean that they all feel this way and I think it's good to know these things because our homecoming won't be a simple transition for any of us. We have some hurdles to overcome as we can see.

I hope no one here reads anything more into what has been shared other than information that serves as perfect examples of how a racist system stereotypes us in negative ways and controls how the information is reported for the purpose of dividing and oppressing us. The oppressive system even portrays itself in an honest way, and they don't care if you like it or not just as long as we don't come together as a NATION and create an uprising. If we all got angry at the same time and had the same target for that anger...can you imagine what that would be like?

Hello Panny,

I would also like to think that the Africans who look down on us are a minority and that the majority of our Brothas and Sistas accept and embrace us.
But Panny, we both know how "tribal" and clannish our people are. Not that that's a bad thing, it's a reality thing.

I am also inthe presence of Afrakans all the time.. Everyone has different opinions of Afrakans of the diaspora. The ones to realize that many of us have a knowledge of Afraka, its peoples, languages, customs etc., are very appreciative that we take the time to read and learn about our motherland and their culture.

For instance, when I meet a Nigerian, I ask them if they are Ibo, Hausa, Yoroba. When I meet a Afrakan from Senegal, I know that the speak Wolof. When I meet a Kenyan, I say, you are from the eastern part of AFraka, or as Sierra Leonian, I tell them that my neice was married to one of their brothers.

It makes me realize that we should take time to learn about the motherland and appreciate where they are from there. It is a good ice breaker.

Anyway, the Afrakans I come across are also quite colonized, mentally. They are almost if not worse then us in terms of knowing who the real enemy is.

One conscious Afrakan told me that the europeans have caused so much strife(AIDS, Wars, Starvation, etc) in Afraka that Afrakans don't have time to read about the true history of Afraka. They are too busy putting out fires. This is so true.

When you mention to the average AFrakan historical people, like Nkrumah, Lumumba, Chiek Anta Diop, they look at you cross eyed. They are just trying to survive in amerikkka and send their poor relatives money.

I trully believe the the Afrakans of the diaspora, particularly amerikkka will spearhead the true revolution in AFraka. We have the knowledge, access to information, education, skills. We have a lot to offer.

white folks are doing everything in their power to seperate us, please believe me. We absolutely must reclaim Afraka and form true and meaningful relationships with our people there. Let us begin now!!

Hi folks,
I'm a continental African expressing a view. I live in the Uk now,
and there are many relationships between Africans and
Afro-Carribeans, and Africans and Black-British people. Some
also result in marriage. As for me personally, I might find it
difficult because I want someone who actually speaks my
language. I want to raise kids who know their language/culture
and the society they come from, pairing up with someone who
doesn't meet this criteria messes up my plans :( Of course I have
other things I look for in a woman as well, eg character, integrity,
cleanliness, honesty, personality, intellgence etc.

Holler back folks.

Cheers

What language do you speak araegba? There's nothing wrong with wanting to practice your cultural heritage and pass it on to your children. I would agree that it would be easier as well as less hypocritical to do this if your wife was from the same culture as yours. I feel the same way about preferring to choose a Black man to spend my life with over men of other races/cultural backgrounds. I realize that this personal choice has its limitations but it's my choice nevertheless because I'm that committed to the continuation of my race AND I simply adore Black men over and above all other men.

Hello NNQueen, thanks for your response.

I speak the Yoruba language of West Africa. I have met many
women from the Carribean, Black Brits and even other races, but
I have had to be honest with myself. I do not see myself marrying
a woman with whom I will just be speaking English. I also do not
see myself raising monolingual English kids, or kids who see their
father's socio-cultural background as something strange bizzare
and shameful. There several black-Brits whose parents/ancestors
came directly from Africa. Most of them know very little about their
background, and do not really care about such things. Although it
is their parents fault for speaking only English to them, and not
teaching them their cultural heritage.

Regards

Here is another topic I think needs to be dusted off, and re-introduced to the family! :couple:

while i've hooked up with a west Indian, here and there, I've never had a positive experience with an African female.

while i've hooked up with a west Indian, here and there, I've never had a positive experience with an African female.

That's cool brotherJames...what was your experience with sistas from the Caribbean?

I would definately have no problem dating a woman from another country. I think I'd actually rather start meeting people from other countries. I wish I came across more women from other countries because I'm starting to run into the same type of females when it comes to American women. I'm going to be traveling to either Brazil or Costa Rica at the beggining of the year and I hope to meet some beautiful women and actually see first hand what they are about.

I think what I'm about to say will sound really strange. But here in Seattle there are many different groups of Africans that I seem to run into a lot. I have met and befriended a few African women but haven't really met any African men.

One day I was at the gas station pumping gas when an African man approached me. He told me he thought I was a beautiful woman and gave me his business card. He then stated he was not like the American black men and that I should give him a call. I was embarrassed and had no idea WHY. I still don't know why, but I felt underdressed in my business suit...almost ashamed even though the ladies I have met from Africa no longer where their traditional head coverings and traditional outfits. Needless to say I never called...

That's cool brotherJames...what was your experience with sistas from the Caribbean?
from Haiti, their mothers didn't like me.
end of story. :slobber:

All I know is I'm going to marry a Black woman and have Black children. I was born in Zambia and raised in Canada, by the way (since age 3, I'm almost 19 now). Don't take this the wrong way, but I could NEVER go out of my way to marry an American or Caribbean Black woman, if I fall in love with an INDIVIDUAL, then so be it. I say that in case the theme of this is "lets marry and unite". At one point I looked to AA's as a refuge from racist White people I had to deal with ( I have to deal with every SINGLE day actually, White people are SO STRANGE and CRUEL HEARTED its inconceivable,I WISH you knew, I live in a predominatly White neighborhood in a city near Toronto, just one example, the other day I was walking home at night time when a car full of white boys swerved towards me, one spat at me but missed and the other yelled "******" loud as hell and drove off like cowards giving me the finger,that's nothing though, I have had TRAUMATIZING experiences with White people, it's a wonder I can still laugh and smile, I don't even want to get into it because I have obsessive compulsive thinking which can trigger deep depression, I'm rambling on as it is ), I used to be a die hard pan-Africanist but I can NEVER look at AA's as a group the same and as my people with "Africans aren't Black" , "Africans are ugly and smell like ****" "Africans swing from trees", "F Africans and their issues" etc. I can't really justify hating White people as a group for everything I've been through with them but let AA's, or even some Caribbean Black people I've had bad experiences with(I think Africans get along better with West Indians then AA's generally though), off the hook because we're both Black. This complicates things, either hate both groups, or take individuals accordingly.It took a LONG, PAINFUL/FRUSTRATING journey for me to come to that 'individual vs. group thing', even though it seems like common sense, I had to teach myself not think emotionally over rationally. I still can't feel I can relate to White people though, I have no White friends, even though I respect those who are warm hearted, and I would NEVER get with a White girl, I'm not physically or romantically attracted to them and I want to have pure ( primarily anyways, since I have 1/8th Scottish ancestry ) Black children. I went off, but my point is I can't go out of my way to be like "I love AA women" after the way so many AA's treat Africans, some of the stories I've heard are so heartless and inhumane. If I fall in love with an individual, that will be one thing.The funny thing is though, I'd love to marry a beautiful African queen from somewhere like Nigeria or Eritrea (probably born/raised in Canada or the US), and I've seen plenty of FINE, BEAUTIFUL African females ( I'm currently in love with YaYa from America's Next Top Model ), but I can't see myself marrying a girl from Zambia or even the whole southern Africa region, it's too close to home, I'd rather my children could could say "I'm 1/2 Nigerian, 1/2 Zambian" or "I'm 1/2 Ethiopian, 1/2 Zambian", all the borders in Africa, except for Ethiopia ( and Liberia set up by the American Colonization Society) were set up by European colonialists, so I see myself as a Black African first and foremost.

just one question Afriking? If you grew up in Canada, how much contact have you had with African Americans? I'm sorry about the negative experiences you've had with other blacks in your country, but seeing your age, I'm sure that a large part of these encounters are the ignorance of youth. As you grow older and meet more people, I'm sure you'll find blacks who are more welcoming!

"just one question Afriking? If you grew up in Canada, how much contact have you had with African Americans? I'm sorry about the negative experiences you've had with other blacks in your country, but seeing your age, I'm sure that a large part of these encounters are the ignorance of youth. As you grow older and meet more people, I'm sure you'll find blacks who are more welcoming!"

I haven't had a lot of negative experiences with other Black people in Canada, who are mostly WI. Unfortanatly, it's not just young people who are ignorant, it's grown men and women who could be in their 30s, 40s, 50, 60s,I once had a 30 something your old AA schoolteacher bluntly insist that Africans were not Black and he hoped all Aids infested, tree swinging Africans died of Ebola, Africa was a **** continent etc., I can't count how many times I've heard AA's make anti-African statements just on messageboards,no I haven't had much personal contact w/ AA's face to face,so yes, that may sound stupid as hell that I'd go by tv or the internet, but it's not hard to put together that if someone will say "**** Africa" on a messageboard, the messageboard didn't type it in by itself, someone who lives in the real world did and they'd just as soon say it in the real world, the internet is just another form of communication.Whether I'd find more American/Caribbean Black people who are welcoming of Africans or not, I don't need anyone, so noone can make me or break me, I fear and respect noone but GOD.

I once had a 30 something your old AA schoolteacher bluntly insist that Africans were not Black and he hoped all Aids infested, tree swinging Africans died of Ebola, Africa was a **** continent etc., I can't count how many times I've heard AA's make anti-African statements just on messageboards,no I haven't had much personal contact w/ AA's face to face,so yes, that may sound stupid as hell that I'd go by tv or the internet, but it's not hard to put together that if someone will say "**** Africa" on a messageboard, the messageboard didn't type it in by itself, someone who lives in the real world did and they'd just as soon say it in the real world, the internet is just another form of communication.

I can confidently say that this person does not represent most African Americans, don't base your entire attitude of a people off of a handful of individuals!

I am 61 and in my life experiences (before I was marry) I have found that foreign men tended to be more aware and understanding the plight of the Africans in the diaspora. I met my husband in the 1960's when I traveled to France. He is from Cameroon. Because of him I became well-instructed in his language and he in mine. When I was much younger- 15, I met a soldier who was American. I was really in love with him (or maybe it was my infatuation). But, his attitude was arrogant towards us Cubans as he felt that "American negros" were superior to us "Spanish negros". I never forgot the way he made me feel. I could not understand why although he loved me for my attitude, he secretly loathed me for being so much darker than him.

After Fidel changed the political course of our country, so did the way we see ourselves change. I began to understand that many people from the U.S. believed themselves better and more enlightened than everyone else-- that they could tell the rest of the world what to do. Discrimination based on the notion of "race" was abolished in Cuba and I began to work more on establishing a nation that eradicated this superior-inferior complex. While we struggled to move towards our own development, we faced many disheartening situations with the U.S. Even the African descended people in the U.S. seemed to folow the path of their Anglo countrymen in many things.

Today in 2004- as I tune into Canadien television, I see the news and the television stations that show U.S. shows and wonder what has happened to that country. Men and women make themselves to look like they are sexual clowns. They value beauty over brains and money over the helping of their brothers and sisters. Men disrespect women and glorify drug usage. They even seem to like wearing jail clothes as if that was something to be proud of. The awards show for Black entertainers is marked with violence. I wonder where all those outstanding achievements in the past by the U.S. afros has gone to? The African Americans chose to continue to revert towards the development of a separate race based class instead of uniting with the rest of their countrymen in order to save it from some eventual disaster (both economicaly and god forbid through a nuclear confrontation with another nation). There's nothing wrong with pride, but not at other's expense. It seems to me like what is occurring is a reversal into the barbaric days of the "wild west" where the U.S. felt it was their duty to take over someone else's land in the name of the Monroe Doctrine (1823 ). Shoot up the world and take it over whether for oil or for any other purpose.

As many latin, spanish and asian countries begin to close themselves off in socialistic government networks (Spain, Venezuela, Brazil, China, Bolivia, Uruguay, etc.), the whole world turns quickly against everything that the U.S. stands for. And- in this day and age- the results of this loss of internacional friendship will prove deadly for your nation. The nuclear strikes and the murder of over a hundred thousand Iraqis which your country has inflicted on that sovreign nation for profit has left many other sovreign countries embittered. While I do understand that it is each individual who is responsible for their actions, the fact that Bush was re elected show that the majority of the people in your country support what he does- afros, latinos and anglos alike.

As far as dating Americans (meaning the U.S. because america is mostly latino- centro and sudamerica) I think before many foreign people connect romanticaly with U.S. americans, those from your nation must first have to understand that they are not in control of the world and that they can not tell the rest of us how we should live. We have our own ideas. And afro people especialy should be more in tune with what it feels like to be oppressed because the U.S. has done it to them in much the same way they are now doing it to us. True understanding, a mutual understanding comes about when nacions do not attempt to pillage another in order to get their points across. Of the afros I have met in my lifetime, a good number DO understand that this U.S. superiority is a problem. They are many who DO understand that the U.S. and europe is simply out for profit. There are many others, however, who simply don't care how the rest of the world feels and proceeds to push THEIR ideologies upon the rest of us as if we should be open and willing to accept what they are saying.

As far as dating Americans (meaning the U.S. because america is mostly latino- centro and sudamerica) I think before many foreign people connect romanticaly with U.S. americans, those from your nation must first have to understand that they are not in control of the world and that they can not tell the rest of us how we should live. We have our own ideas. And afro people especialy should be more in tune with what it feels like to be oppressed because the U.S. has done it to them in much the same way they are now doing it to us. True understanding, a mutual understanding comes about when nacions do not attempt to pillage another in order to get their points across. Of the afros I have met in my lifetime, a good number DO understand that this U.S. superiority is a problem. They are many who DO understand that the U.S. and europe is simply out for profit. There are many others, however, who simply don't care how the rest of the world feels and proceeds to push THEIR ideologies upon the rest of us as if we should be open and willing to accept what they are saying.

Pre-conceived ideas & notions are a natural part of dating someone from a different culture. However if one is serious about the person they are with, they will learn about the culture. Also it needs to be noted that US citizens are not the only ones guilty of making false pretenses of "superiority". As evidenced in many threads within this forum alone, the same can be said of Africans throughout the Diaspora. Yet if we are ever going to unite as a people, we can not continue to focus on the relatively small differences we have. Inter-cultural dating between Africans in the Diaspora can be a powerful tool the bridge the gaps....an incredible opportunity to appreciate other Black people throughout the world. It is worth a try!

[QUOTE=AfriKing]I once had a 30 something your old AA schoolteacher bluntly insist that Africans were not Black and he hoped all Aids infested, tree swinging Africans died of Ebola, Africa was a **** continent etc., I can't count how many times I've heard AA's make anti-African statements [QUOTE]

I can't imagine a black person making such hateful comments about other black people. However I also wouldn't have believed there would be a black man on the US Supreme Court, who is against the advancements of the Civil Rights Movement! To an outsider looking in, the actions (rulings) of Clarence Thomas is representative of African Americans, because he is a black man. In reality 90% of African Americans disagree with Thomas and his "conservative" views. I think Africans in the Diaspora need to become more aware of what is reflective of African Americans as a whole, and what are the actions of some misguided individuals!

Pre-conceived ideas & notions are a natural part of dating someone from a different culture. However if one is serious about the person they are with, they will learn about the culture. Also it needs to be noted that US citizens are not the only ones guilty of making false pretenses of "superiority". As evidenced in many threads within this forum alone, the same can be said of Africans throughout the Diaspora. Yet if we are ever going to unite as a people, we can not continue to focus on the relatively small differences we have. Inter-cultural dating between Africans in the Diaspora can be a powerful tool the bridge the gaps....an incredible opportunity to appreciate other Black people throughout the world. It is worth a try!

I understand what you are saying, but my point is that YOUR country who has supposedly MORE ACCESS to information should really be more INFROMED. For some reason, an ignorance of people beyond your borders prevails even in the internet age.

I do travel extensively and am still a Cuban citizen (my work allows me to do so). But, those Americans which I come into contact with when I am here in Canada aren't always courteous. It is as if unlimited "freedom" has made people think they can do, say or act in just about any which way and absolutely get away with it. On average, I have seen more U.S. persons be very disrespectful and arrogant to each other as well as those who are from abroad than people from any other nation I have visited. Furthermore, a bad upbringing and the fact that education is not compulsory cannot be to blame because every human being should be personally held accountable for what they do with their lives. With all the FREEDOM in your country, a good conscious should rule one's nature... unfettered from the pain and agony of bad government policies and outright poverty. But, it is as if some people do not understand how GOOD they have it.

Someone made a comment in another message here on this board that somehow related being "homeless" with being "crazy". I don't think people realize what happens when the pain of poverty overtakes you. They make a snide type of remark and laugh about it or brush it off as if they are immune to understandng that "homeless" person's pain. I find that this REACHING OUT TO OTHERS does not really exist in your Capitalist Republic. Everyone is out for their own greed and gain. The individual is given preference over the community. The U.S. should be the LAST ONES to tell the world about how to be more united. They don't even want liberal Democrats to control.... and they are as close to the Socialist left as your nation will ever get to be!

I am lucky to have achieved all that I have in life so far. I have a great marriage, respectable children and grandchildren. I am dedicated to being a doctor who has the ability to communicate with peopole in 6 different languages. I have gained a lot in this life, but I still teach humility to my family something that is lacking in this children who rap on television, get caught in various porn scandals or even stab each for no apparent reason. Something should be done to focus the attention on YOUR OWN COMMUNITY before you attempt to solve the problems of the world.... something the U.S. doesn't seem to get.

First of all, what I find so fascinating about many of the comments of people who are Africans or African Americanos not born and raised in the United States is that they always talk about their knowledge of American hegemonism, America’s supremist attitude and U.S. propaganda and then respond to the images and sound bites that are allowed to be disseminated throughout the world, as relating to African American life, as being truthful and something to base their opinions upon.

Moo Moo and Afriking, your knowledge and opinions of African Americans are shallow and are just what the American imperialist wants you to believe. If I was to base my opinions of people of African descent (outside of the U.S.) on some of the ignorant Africans and Afro Latinos I have met in my lifetime, I would be doing the continental African population and the whole African diasporic community a disservice. I have met more Latinos of African descent who believe they are not Afro-Latino or Black than I have met African Americans that believe such. I have met many continental African Christians who still believe that Jesus was a blonde haired, blue-eyed white man and that their original tribal deities and worships were a form of devil worship.

You are both at the wrong forum for this type of stereotyping and generalization of African Americans in the United States.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

First of all, what I find so fascinating about many of the comments of people who are Africans or African Americanos not born and raised in the United States is that they always talk about their knowledge of American hegemonism, America’s supremist attitude and U.S. propaganda and then respond to the images and sound bites that are allowed to be disseminated throughout the world, as relating to African American life, as being truthful and something to base their opinions upon.

Moo Moo and Afriking, your knowledge and opinions of African Americans are shallow and are just what the American imperialist wants you to believe. If I was to base my opinions of people of African descent (outside of the U.S.) on some of the ignorant Africans and Afro Latinos I have met in my lifetime, I would be doing the continental African population and the whole African diasporic community a disservice. I have met more Latinos of African descent who believe they are not Afro-Latino or Black than I have met African Americans that believe such. I have met many continental African Christians who still believe that Jesus was a blonde haired, blue-eyed white man and that their original tribal deities and worships were a form of devil worship.

You are both at the wrong forum for this type of stereotyping and generalization of African Americans in the United States.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

"I have met many continental African Christians who still believe that Jesus was a blonde haired, blue-eyed white man and that their original tribal deities and worships were a form of devil worship."

I think many Africans suffer from colonial mentality the same way many AA's suffer from slave mentality.

"You are both at the wrong forum for this type of stereotyping and generalization of African Americans in the United States. "

I'm not generalizing anyone, but I think you're being naive as hell if you really want me to believe most AA's view Africans as long lost brothers and sisters. I understand, not all AA's are ignorant or hatefull to continental Africans, but MANY are VERY hateful and ignorant towards us, and will openly tell you this, so I don't think you can just dismiss my 'concerns'.

First of all, what I find so fascinating about many of the comments of people who are Africans or African Americanos not born and raised in the United States is that they always talk about their knowledge of American hegemonism, America’s supremist attitude and U.S. propaganda and then respond to the images and sound bites that are allowed to be disseminated throughout the world, as relating to African American life, as being truthful and something to base their opinions upon.

Moo Moo and Afriking, your knowledge and opinions of African Americans are shallow and are just what the American imperialist wants you to believe. If I was to base my opinions of people of African descent (outside of the U.S.) on some of the ignorant Africans and Afro Latinos I have met in my lifetime, I would be doing the continental African population and the whole African diasporic community a disservice. I have met more Latinos of African descent who believe they are not Afro-Latino or Black than I have met African Americans that believe such. I have met many continental African Christians who still believe that Jesus was a blonde haired, blue-eyed white man and that their original tribal deities and worships were a form of devil worship.

You are both at the wrong forum for this type of stereotyping and generalization of African Americans in the United States.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship


Michael Jackson and O.J. Simpson... these are quite spectacular examples of those whom the world sees as not wanting to embrace their identity. Don't you think? Let me know if Celia was not proud of who she was.

Furthermore, the majority of YOUR country (even those of Afro descent) are Jesus conservatives. Cubans in CUBA are mostly into AFRICAN beliefs without much of the Christian trappings of pre-1959 practices. The difference between Cuba nd the U.S. is that WE don't get caught in overzealous racial pride and simply MOVE ON as a united front of PEOPLE... without having to constantly blame the WHITE man for our troubles. I understand racism is real, however there comes a point when you should just figure out a way to mend the divide and lift your nation out of the mire. If we have done it, why can't anyone else?

There is a poll on this board (placed by your own moderator who casually erased my own comment) asking people who do you side with WHITES or BLACKS. It is a crowning example of your pride of separation. After having fought against segregation and inequality, it seems like Jim Crow laws are resurfacing again only this time it's the Afros in the U.S. who seem to embrace it.

Unity through separation? OK, I get it. :laugh:

Like I said both of you are lacking in your knowledge of African American life, religion and culture.

First of all, Afriking if you think continental Africans have their arms open-wide in acceptance to Africans in America, this is more than laughable. The unprovoked arrogance, social alienation and almost xenophobic attitudes of continental Africans, towards African Americans is almost a given. And Moo moo, if the best you can come up with to base your argument are buffoons like O.J. and Michael Jackson than you are more propagandized than I thought.

If you search the history of the post at this forum (Destee.com) most cross-cultural negativism is started by and almost always initiated by African Latinos and continental Africans.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

What I find interesting about some Latinos and Afro Latinos ideas about race is that you always talk about a non-bias, homogenous society in Latin America, were race and color is not important, but when you study the history of Latin America, from the days of having your “white papers” and how there were so many sub-categories of race and/or color, to looking at the ruling oligarchies historically (light, bright and d-amn near white) of most Latino countries, it seems that your ideas of race and color are just that... “idealistic” and illusional.

Every Latino I have spoken to have given me some negative term directed towards Blacks in their native Spanish lingo that could be analogous to the infamous and condescending term “n-igger” …be it “Chumbo” in Panama or “Pahatto” in Peru, every nationality in the world has a way to refer to Blacks (Negros/Africanos) in a derogative manner.


Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

Hope and intelligence rules. Aggression and your obvious lack of cultural knowledge of Latin America does not. ;)

Hope and intelligence rules. Aggression and your obvious lack of cultural knowledge of Latin America does not. ;)

If this is true, than historically and intelligently refute what I have said.

I'm sorry Moo moo "Color still rule in Latin America!!"

In a non-racist society were race doesn't matter, you shouldn't have the vast majority of your athletes looking like Michael Jordan and Venus Williams (an obvious man and woman of African descent) and historically the majority of your leaders, be they political, business and/or social elites looking like Fidel Castro, throughout the Latin world.

Though there were (and still are) many extraordinary men and women of African descent in Latin American history, dark-skinned people are still at the bottom for the most part and there are many Afro-Latinos who are organizing and politicizing around this fact.

You need to read more about the plight of Afro Latinos in their own words.

Brother Sun Ship

I started this thread as an effort to bring Africans in the Diaspora together. I didn't really need confirmation to know that relationships/marriages between Blacks from other countries can be successful, because the proof is laying beside me (my Spanish born, African wife). Unfortunately many Africans in the Diaspora can not bring themselves to unite, even if their lives depended on it (which it does)! People of African descent make up the majority of the world's population. People of African descent are also at the bottom of the social-economic ladder of most countries they occupy. The power that could be gained if Africans in the Diaspora united should be obvious to all of those who have African blood (it certainly is to white people). Yet too many of us are ready, willing, and able to use any difference be it nationality, language, or skin tone...to maintain divides. This is disappointing, but I guess it shouldn't be too surprising. I do know many Afro-Latinos & Continental Africans, and am glad to say that Moo Moo & Afriking do not reflect all of them!

In a non-racist society were race doesn't matter, you shouldn't have the vast majority of your athletes looking like Michael Jordan and Venus Williams (an obvious man and woman of African descent) and historically the majority of your leaders, be they political, business and/or social elites looking like Fidel Castro, throughout the Latin world.

Brother Sun Ship:

Moo Moo is old enough that she should be well aware of this trend, and the implications behind it...if she hasn't made the connection yet, it is because she has purposely ignored it!

"....historically the majority of your leaders, be they political, business and/or social elites looking like Fidel Castro, throughout the Latin world."

So... who do you have? Condoleeza Rice? Al Sharpton? or is it Colin Powell who is of Jamaican ancestry.

So... who do you have? Condoleeza Rice? Al Sharpton? or is it Colin Powell who is of Jamaican ancestry.

You missed the point of brother Sun Ship's statement (which doesn't really surprise me). What he was saying is that if "Latin" America is as color blind as it would have the world believe. Why are all it's political leaders white, especially in countries with a majority black population (Cuba, Brazil, etc)? Indeed not only are all it's politicians white, but virtual all of Latino media has a white face with the exception of black athletes. This observation was not meant to be a pointless: Who's leaders are better comparison? However I do find it ironic that you point out Colin Powell's heritage. It is evidence that African Americans don't have as much of a problem with blacks from a different nationality as you'd like to believe. I think this discussion is better suited to my African stereotypes thread, it purpose was meant to be more positive than some narrow minded new members are making it!

I am using this article as one of many examples of what can happen when racism goes unchecked in Latin America, because of ignorance, illusive thinking and naïveté. Basically when people just don’t care and love to live in a Latin American racial fantasy or Oz.

I couldn’t find the original article I had copied (years ago) with the actual portrayal of the Domino’s Pizza ad, showing Africans with bones in their noses and a bone knotted on top of their heads, but the context of this article shows how strongly Blacks and others in Canada feel about this kind of elusive racism in Latin America.


The following article about Domino's Pizza was published in Toronto's Sunday Sun on June 22, 1997, written by Money Editor Linda Leatherdale.

Anti-racists slam Domino's
Angered by ad, ARA suggests chain's pizzerias be torched.
by Linda Leatherdale, Money Editor, The Sunday Sun
June 22, 1997

This is very disturbing, and very wrong.

Toronto's Anti-Racist Action (ARA) group is using the Internet to encourage people to "torch every Domino's pizzeria on the planet".

This horrific message promoting a terrorist act is found on the ARA's website, where the group blasts Domino's for a very distasteful advertisement that was used by an independent franchisee in Guatemala two years ago.

The ad, published in Spanish, is equally disturbing and wrong. It read: "We realize that you work like blacks, and naturally you will eat like cannibals. That's why we're making you this great offer for pizza."

The Latin American ad, which ran for less than a week, was pulled after Domino's International ordered the franchisee to "cease and desist" and to apologize to the public.

From his office in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Domino's International vice-president Tim McIntyre lashed out at the ARA for threatening 5,500 Domino pizzeria owners in 54 countries (200 in Canada), of whom the majority are independent operators. He said none of them had anything to do with the Guatemala ad.


_____________________________

I have met so many nice african and carribbean men and I definitely wouldn't have a problem dating one.

:nono: Like attracts like. If most of the AA you've met didn't like your butt, maybe you're not as nice as you would like to believe. You're the commone denominator, check yourself.

I have met so many nice african and carribbean men and I definitely wouldn't have a problem dating one. Like attracts like. If most of the AA you've met didn't like your butt, maybe you're not as nice as you would like to believe. You're the commone denominator, check yourself.

Well that certainly says it all doesn't it? Thank you for your input blackeyes, and thank you for bringing the topic back to its original focus.

Not at all. I am quite a nice person. In any event, you can act aggressive and sarcastic all you want. It simply cements your rudeness.

There are not that many African descended people in the Senate last time I checked until maybe now (not appointed like Condoleeza or Powell). Why do you not just ELECT THEM into these higher offices? Isn't your government more tolerant than anyone else's in the world? Or, did it take a half-African half-white senator to make it palpable for Illinois' race tasting buds?

How Many Black Senators Have There Been?

Barack Obama is often described as an odds-on favorite to become the third black senator "since Reconstruction." That phrase seems to imply that there was an abundance of black senators before or during Reconstruction. Was that really the case?

Not an abundance, for sure, but two African-Americans were elected to the Senate during the post-Civil War occupation of the South. The first was Hiram Rhoades Revels, a Mississippi state senator who was selected in 1870 to fill the seat vacated by Jefferson Davis, who'd left to become president of the defunct Confederacy. Prior to the passage of the 17th Amendment in 1913, senators were chosen by state legislatures rather than a popular vote. And at that time, the Mississippi state legislature included a handful of African-Americans and was dominated by Republican carpetbaggers, northerners who'd come South to get involved in politics. Their election of Revels to Davis' former Senate seat was a symbol of the Republicans' desire for the postbellum South to accept the tolerant precepts of the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments.

Since he was only elected to serve out the remainder of Davis' term, Revels spent just one year in the Senate; he would go on to become the president of Alcorn College (now Alcorn State University). The first African-American to serve a full Senate term was also from Mississippi: Blanche K. Bruce. A sheriff, tax collector, and education official from the Delta, Bruce was elected by the legislature in 1874. At his swearing-in ceremony, the state's white senior senator refused to accompany his new colleague to the podium. Instead, Bruce was accompanied by Roscoe Conkling of New York; the two became fast friends, and Bruce later named his only child after Conkling.

Mbote (greetings ) brother Panafrica,

batu nioso pe (and everybody too),

This is an interesting topic you started here I like it. I can speak of my own experience on this topic as a Kongolese woman married to a Black American man. I have to be honest though, culturally it seems like we have nothing in common. My husband is westernized, and I am very Afrocentric.. We work things out because we love each other. He loves me, and he could care less of my race or where I come form. But me I love him especially because he is a BLACK MAN, I also feel I need to gives him back HIS ROOTS through me and our future kids.

By seapking about the westernized mindset of my huband, I am talking about his views on life, his interests, his manners, his fashion/food/artistic tastes all that is Western.. He didn't even know where my country was before he met me! Through him I see that American society has uptrooted so many Black Americans it's sad. But when Black Americans realise that, and care, they have to do something about it. It's then we Black-Africans have to come to help..

Now, I have to speak about Kongolese men. Well, they are very Nationalists (I am speaking about Kongolese men not all Black-Africans). Kongolese men rarely marry women form other countries, even Black women. It has nothing to do with prejudice, it's just the fact that Kongolese men are stuck in their own ways, and if a woman cannot cook them the meals they are used to, speak their languages, know and respect their traditions they won't marry them period. They might date them, but they will certainly not marry them. That's why among the Black-African immigrant population in Western countries it's very rare to see Kongolese men married with white women. They hate that, good for that one!

Kongolese women on the other hand, we date/marry outside our countrymen no problem. Kongolese women marry Senegalese, Ivorians, West-Indians, Black Americans, our men are cool with that. Kongolese men are the most tolerant people. They are not abusive men. They love peace and comfort. Most Kongolese women are bosses over their men. They run the homes, the family businesses. They are respected and very desired by Kongolese men, and by other Black-African men in Africa believe me..

Borther Panafrica, of course marring within the Black Diaspora will help us build better ties and unity. Besides, the African-American population in the US is decreasing, and the non-Black hispanic population is seriously taking over here as the most numerous and the most powerful minority. So all Black-Latinos, Black-Africans, Black-Carribeans and Black-Americans need to bind together. We need to start marrying more between us, and make more babies. By making more babies we create more Black folks, by having more Black folks on the planet (specially in Western countries), we have more Black population with the power to fight and crush White Supremacy. But it's up to each one of us to see this priority..

Yenge Ye Zola (Peace and Love)

Not at all. I am quite a nice person. In any event, you can act aggressive all you want. It simply cements how sarcastic and rude many U.S. people are. There are not that many African descended people in Congress last time I checked until maybe now (not appointed like Condoleeza or Powell). Why do you not just ELECT THEM into these higher offices? Did it take a half-African half-white senator to make it palpable for Illinois' race tasting buds?

If you are quite a nice person MooMoo maybe you should start displaying it? Also I hope that you are aware that this website was founded by an African American woman (Destee)! One who has always welcomed Blacks from every country in the world, as do I. However if you want to be welcomed to a place, you should be a considerate guest. I believe this is universal to all cultures. It is rude to insult the host people, and expect a warm reception in return.

As far as cementing your opinion that Americans (including African Americans) are sarcastic & rude, you seem determined to validate this belief no matter what is said. Your experience with African Americans is limited, and everything you have thus far written is a reflection of that. You write about US policies like African Americans support them, in truth African Americans have been victims of these policies. You ask why there aren't more African American congress people? Well in case you didn't notice blacks aren't the only people in America who vote!!

It is sad when a thread about black people loving other black people can't happen without someone coming to spread hate! This thread is about dating across the African Diaspora. This doesn't just mean African Americans dating Africans. It refers to every African in the Diaspora. If I'm not mistaken Moo Moo you said that you are a Black Cuban married to a African Man from Cameroon. Therefore you are an example of what I was talking about, you could have used this forum to talk about your husband, instead of expressing your prejudice against African Americans. Ultimately you are free to feel about Americans & African Americans as you wish. However being that this is a African American founded & dominated website, this probably isn't the place for you. Good Luck on your journey!

Borther Panafrica, of course marring within the Black Diaspora will help us build better ties and unity. Besides, the African-American population in the US is decreasing, and the non-Black hispanic population is seriously taking over here as the most numerous and the most powerful minority. So all Black-Latinos, Black-Africans, Black-Carribeans and Black-Americans need to bind together. We need to start marrying more between us, and make more babies. By making more babies we create more Black folks, by having more Black folks on the planet (specially in Western countries), we have more Black population with the power to fight and crush White Supremacy. But it's up to each one of us to see this priority

You are absolutely correct sister Abantu, and it is refreshing to encounter people who realize this. We are all reflections of our environments, therefore I'm not surprised your husband is extremely westernized. For all my studying of Africa and other countries...so am I (which my wife frequently points out to me). Yet through each other we can learn and come to an understanding. Inter-cultural marriage between Africans in the Diaspora can only make us stronger, it is already happening, and I hope it will increase with time!

"Well in case you didn't notice blacks aren't the only people in America who vote!!"

I am an extremely nice person, panafrica. But, don't assume that I have not come into contact with Afroamericans because I most certainly have. I work in an international field and I notice the aggression and frustration that many of them express from time to time (more than most others). They are always correct... even if they are obviously not. Everyone else is always wrong. There's this chip on your shoulder mentality with some of them, I have found. It's something I've run into time and time again on my missions.

I have also run into them in these forums whenever I get online from my daughter house here in Toronto. The only thing about going online to speak with people is that, whenever someone has a strong belief about something, they sit inside a forum an INVENT A BUNCH OF DIFFRENT SCREEN NAMES TO USE WHEN THEY WANT JUST TO GET SOME SPECIFIC POINT ACROSS WHENEVER THE MOOD HITS THEM. And when you think you are speaking to several people, it is actually the same person. Some go so far as to hold conversations with themselves thinking no one understands what is happening. I may be old, but abuela is not stupid to these tricks people use. I am 61 not 16.

If you ask ME to be nice, then why don't you ask it of your own countrymen and women in order to mend your racial divide? What are you doing to stop men from beating their wives or girlfriends? Are you doing something with drug prevention? Maybe then if you stopped hating so much on whites they would stop hating on those blessed with beautiful dark black skin like you and I and maybe Martin Luther King's Dream would actually be a reality instead of a nightmare. Speaking of that, I ran into a man the other day and we had a conversation. He was a very light complexioned Afroamerican, but his spouse was as dark as me. From the conversation I gathered that they did not feel "black enough" so they decided to date somene darker than them and I mean he was like a pale red color, and that sister was chocolate like me. I wondered if he really loved her or if it was just him trying to erase the fact that he had an inferiority complex of not being "black enough". He was against white people too until I pointed out that he was red enough to look like his ancestors could also be white as well. It made him angry to think that he could possibly have some white ancestors, but because he held onto his U.S. belief that one drop makes you black, you couldn't tell him anything. To me it was amusing. What an imbalance to have in your life at such a young age, I thought.

I even speak to white americans as well. You have to put yourselves in a place to dialogue in order to save your nation from an eventual demise. Other wise, segregation and divided loyalties will rule and weaken your country. I understand you feel African descended people in the US are disenfranchised, but you must not stop trying to connect.

Kiambote A Bantu,

If you or anyone else is afraid of white supremacy then how unfortunate that your mind is on black supremacy instead of doing things like saving black lives and establishing more connections with those who could assist your causes. As a doctor, I have travel through Africa and South America using my Godgiven talents to heal those afflict with AIDS and other maladies. I fight for the changes in anti-HIV drug policies to save those who may not otherwise be able to get to a medical doctor. I teach those incline to be prostitutes how to have safe sex and prevent infection. I do my part to save my people.

As far as the comment of nonblack latinos taking over as the largest minority, I think you mean to say latino period because black latinos are included in that number as well. Just like you would like to establish panafricanism, we are and have established panlatinoism. As a communal people, socialism and democracy are paving our roads in the majority of the americas. It is already becoming a reality in many latinoamerican countries. There is nothing that Bush or his cohorts can do to stop us from doing what suits us best.

As for African men not outmarrying, I have been happy for 40 years now. My husband is now living comfortably in Cuba waiting for me to cook him his next meal. You can make a sweeping generalization that that doesn't happen amongst Congolese men, but we have outlasted this supposed outmarriage rule that African men don't date anyone who is not African. In any event he is from the Mandinka, not Congo so I don't know why you interected that specific into this conversation.


May you all be blessed.

Again MooMoo if you are as nice as you claim then you need to show it!! As it stands someone as educated, accomplished & old as yourself should know how to conduct themselves in someone else's house. If you didn't learn proper etiquette in medical school, you need to pick it up (this is an important life skill)!

For a medical doctor you have poor reading comprehension & inadequate reasoning skills. Abantu's comment were directed towards me, not you. She clearly stated that men from "her" country (the Kongo) don't usually date outside the culture, and she made a specific point to say this doesn't apply to all African men. Also don't tout Latin American superiority to me, the Destee crowd is a well read, educated group. If South America & the Spanish Caribbean are great as you claim, they wouldn't have the unheard of emmigration numbers they do! Latinos are fleeing their "native" countries by the millions (hundreds of millions) to seek better economic opportunities in America, Canada, and Europe. Thousands of Cubans risk their lives to flee the country every year! Why exactly is that? This doesn't sound like paradise to me? For all of America's faults (and there are an abundance), African Americans aren't risking life & limb to flee the United States.

It is obvious your bias clouds your judgement, as a result I am not going to continue debating with you. I do believe at 61 years of age, you still have some growing to do! Hopefully one day you will reach out to all Africans in the Diaspora as you have to continential Africans.

P.S. Keep up the good work with AIDs patients in Africa!

Moo Moo, you should be aware that the majority of the Latino population in the US is Caucasian or Mexican ( 80% or + of them) Check the census surveys if you don't believe me. The non-black Latino group, who is the majority of Latinos in the US, has more economical and political power than ALL BLACKS (the small group of black Latinos included) in the US. You should know this.

Plus, it's true Kongolese men (I precised I'm not talking about all black-Africans you should read my posts better) dislike to marry non-Kongolese women. Cameroun men can do as they please. If they are not as much stuck on their traditions like Kongolose men that's fine. Every people can act the way they want, or are used to, tha'ts their rights that we like it or not.

I find you arrogant, you need to chill. You are welcomed in this black-Amercan community you should take advantage of that to get to know Black Americans better, and not make enemies with them. For what? So we keep being WEAK unlike other races. That's not my plan, and it should not be yours too if you are a true Pan-Africanist. Are you?

Borther Panafrica I feel you professor ;)..

Yengue Ye Zola.

Cubans who leave the island leave because of the embargo and the hope to get a better life economically. They sometimes do like me and become a doctor. Our salaries are not the same because of the contracts we have. The U.S. would love to crush our Natin, but almost 5 decades have passed and nothing like that has even remotely happened. The U.S. threatens anyone who trades with us and is basically trying to MURDER THE CUBAN PEOPLE BY STARVATION, but through all the pain and heartache we go through we have as a majority RESISTED. Even after the fall of the U.S.S.R. infant mortality in Cuba continued to decline from 11 per 1000 live births in 1989 to 6 in 2003 (comparing to the U.S.). Life expectancy rose to 74 years in post-Soviet Cuba even though our food stuffs were cut in half because of the U.S. embargo. I wonder why is that?

Further more your insulting tone is rude and arrogant. Debating with you is like talking with someone who has no real life experience. You almost sound like that young man I met who had the heavy insecurity issues about not being black enough. He felt he had a lot to prove. I speak 6 languages. How many do you speak, read and write with substantial proficiency, panafrica? Hmm? I don't even have to tack on the Afro- to my nationality because, honestly, I exude my African ness to the fullest where ever I go.

As for A bantu, there was a conversation going on and you made a comment which didn't seem to fit the flow of what we were speaking about at the time. Simple as that. In regards to Latino populations in the U.S. thank you very much but, I do know the numbers. I was merely correcting YOU. :teach:

May Obatala always bless you and guide you.
Marimar

The amount of languages you speak is irrelevant to this conversation Moo Moo. You seem to have learned everything except how to conduct yourself among other people (although proper manners are taught at home, not in universities). Sister Abantu is correct, you do have an opportunity to better learn with & converse with African American...to build bridges across cultural divides. However this is clearly not your intent. I hope you have more to contribute than you have thus far Moo Moo...your nonsense is not going to be tolerated for too much longer!

If you feel this way, stay silent. I don't think you are up to a 61 year old proud African woman who is sure of who she is and her standing in the world. I am of a higher standard when it comes to discussion. You have become deluded with hurt pride because I have brought my own inteliigence to the table. Your reaction is a typical one. Disrespectful and rude to elderly people. In any event, the few posts I have contributed, I've tried to share as much as I could. Unfortunately, I don't have all that kind of FREE time to sit at a computer and go back and forth with who has the more powerful bit of information. In the REAL world, I am secure. I don't need "screen names" calling me "professor" or whatever the case. I am silently rewarded for the good I do in the world. My bridges are all over Africa.

At this point, let me officially end this because there are more important things to do than show contempt.

May Obatala always bless you.
Marimar Zambrana, Lcda. (University Professor and Medical Doctor)

I should be learning from a 61 year old doctor Moo Moo, you are absolutely correct. That is why your presence has been a disappointment! If you look at all the responses from your 20 post (from myself, Sun Ship, Abantu, etc)...you are not the positive spirit that you pretend! I'm glad you decided to end this, we all have better things to do.

May you always be blessed!
:wink:

Moo moo you contributed nothing good to this discussion. All you have do ne is to show how rude you are. Brother Panafrica is an enlightened man indeed, and he is the master of diplomacy. So he is to me a true professor, a mentor. Who you think you are? Because you are a doctor and you speak several languages it doesn't make you a better person than anyone of us. You are a black woman (if you truly are) and you should never treat another black person with animosity. Besides, you have no reason to do so in this forum, we are just having conversions no fighting to protect our scarce possessions, food or whatever. Even that, as conscious and Pan-Africanist blacks we should be able to share all together. Fight togheter agaisnt the enemy (the white men), starve together (if indeed food is scarse), most of all we need to stick together! Please have faith in your own people, you should be an exemple of Pan-Africanism you being married to Cameroun man. Plus, you are a woman, please in the name of the ancestors, and the loas have some class. Try to convey our femine typical traits as being gentle, loving and understanding (true without being stupid).

We are not united now as a race this is a fact, and because we are not, and the other races are and organized, we are weak. If we really care about our peoples, the lives of our kids in the future, and our dignity as human beings as proud heirs of Nubian, Kemit, Songhay, Kongo, Zulu et other mighty African Civilizations we MUST come together, heal together, make babies together and demand our rightful place in this world. Make it your priority Moo moo and all will be fine.

Be blessed.

Yengue Ye Zola.

Like I said both of you are lacking in your knowledge of African American life, religion and culture.

First of all, Afriking if you think continental Africans have their arms open-wide in acceptance to Africans in America, this is more than laughable. The unprovoked arrogance, social alienation and almost xenophobic attitudes of continental Africans, towards African Americans is almost a given. And Moo moo, if the best you can come up with to base your argument are buffoons like O.J. and Michael Jackson than you are more propagandized than I thought.

If you search the history of the post at this forum (Destee.com) most cross-cultural negativism is started by and almost always initiated by African Latinos and continental Africans.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

Sunship, for someone who claims to be a pan-Africanist you seem so incredibly biased and not willing to listen to the slightest critism of some AA people.It goes to show that at the end of the day, your primary concern is for Black Americans and your viewpoint first and foremost is a Black American one, but I'm not mad at you for that. All I have ever said in this forum was that many AA's are incredibly ingorant and cruel to Africans, which they are, I didn't say ALL were, I didn't even say MOST were, but you have to be naive as hell if you don't think there are MANY AA's who are very hatefull and cruel to Africans. I never said that all continental Africans had their arms open to AA's, many do, not all, has it ever occured to you that some resent AA's for the way they treat us, and I'm sure some are downright ignorant for the sake of it. I've never, face to face, heard Africans make disparing comments against AA's, but I did watch this documentary on Black Sudanese refugess called Lost Boys of the Sudan where there was some blatant stereotyping of Black Americans as criminals and theives.Point this out to me, and I won't deny it. Instead of trying to reason with me, and see where I'm coming from, you took what I was saying and exaggerated the hell out of it, all I said was there are MANY AA's who are unbelievably cruel and ignorant to Africans, nothing else, you're going to sit here and tell me that there are NO AA's who are hatefull and cruel to Africans at all? Not all Black Americans consider themselves the pan-Africanists you do. How many Black Americans want to be called "African" American? Many Black Americans view Africans as a completely different RACE. I have heard quite a few AA's bluntly deny that they were even of African DESCENT, or lessen that significance with " all humans came from Africa anyways" or "I have White/Native American ancestry" ( yet they still consider themselves 'Black' ). But you're right Sunship, no young Black American men have ever started physical confrontations with Africans just because they were African, no AA's have ever made fun of Africans because of their names or accents, 'African bootyscratcher' was popularized by White people, no AA's have ever made ignorant comments like "Africans are ugly as **** and swing from trees" "all Africans are jet black and are dying of aids", "Africans smell", I fabricated ALL of that into my memory.I once heard of an AA woman who told her little girl to stay away from Africans because their dirty, the little girl told this to some African man, that she couldn't be near him cuz her mother said Africans were dirty , and I've heard way worse then that. ALL AA's with NO exceptions are proud of their African heritage and consider Africans to be their distant cousins. I never said it didn't go both ways, I simply said many AA's, for whatever reasons, are incredibly hateful and ignorant towards Africans and don't want anything to do with Africa/Africans.

"I do know many Afro-Latinos & Continental Africans, and am glad to say that Moo Moo & Afriking do not reflect all of them!"

I reflect my **** self, but what have I said that's so anti-AA in this thread? Just pointing out that there are some ignorant AA's?

People at this point I'm going to kindly ask that we stick to the topic of the thread, which is Dating across the African Diaspora. If you agree please say so, if not say no thank you. However this is not the appropriate place to air grievances towards particular nationalities. If that is your focus, kindly start a new thread specifically about that subject.

I respect your interjection Brother panafrica, but in some way this huge gap in the understanding of each others grievances is at the core of our ability to intermingle or even date as expressed by this threads title. Moo moo and Afriking have come to this forum prepare to take on Black American imperialist (in the former) and African American morons who hate Africans just because they are Africans (in the latter). Neither has looked deeper into why they have had certain experiences in their lives, with certain African Americans and they feel there’s a need to vent their anger here.

Let me allude to what I have seen in my lifetime, when it comes to the question of cross-cultural dating, relationships and even marriage. I have had almost every female in my family date a continental African or an Afro-Latino, at one time or another. I have dated many women who had once dated an African male native to Africa. Some of these relationships were probably good, some bad and some indifferent, mostly all were short lived, except for the ones that ended in marriage. I use to wonder why African American males and continental African females relationships were so few and in-between…I agree some of this, may have had to deal with certain hang-ups and misconceptions some African American men had with what they thought was a suitable mate, but there was also a lot of bashing, generalization and condescending talk about African American males by continental African men. The sisters would tell me how these African brothers would say awful things about us and invent hypothetical and stereotypical scenarios in which the African male would have the better ethics or mores than his African American male counterpart. These African brothers would tell their own African sisters not to marry us or get involved with us and that we were basically “no good”, dangerous, lazy and untrustworthy, while these same brothers would lust and woo after our females.

This is a truth some African males don’t want aired in public.

I love the African Latinos and Africans in my family dearly and we are very close. I just see them as family members. One of them has been in my family before I was born and I have the highest regard and respect for him.

What Moo moo and Afriking don’t understand is that the people they have encountered don’t hate them, but they hate the African or Black person inside of their self. Europeans have done a job on our minds all over the world. I could fill up this forum for the next 100 pages talking about and showing examples of how African, Afro-Latinos and African Americans have been buffooned and maligned for what we look like and how we dance, talk, sing and live. This has happened in North America, the Caribbean, South America and Africa proper. And any Black person who says this has not affected the psyche and the well being of these people of African descent, is either fantasizing or outright lying.

Be you me, If Cuba was a predominately white Latino country, America would have found some type of functional relationship between our two countries and would have removed its embargo years ago and the rest of the white European world would be collectively pouring billions of dollars into Cuba, as we speak.

For every African American who has an unjustified hatred or preconceived idea about Africans and Afro-Latinos, you can find an African or Afro-Latino with some of the same prejudice about them (AA’s).

In ending, …your argument may be with American imperialism, the historically vicious mental onslaught of white supremacy or European cultural hegemonism, or even the twisted arrogance of some mis-educated and brainwashed African Americans, but not with the progressive thinkers in this forum.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

I respect your interjection Brother panafrica, but in some way this huge gap in the understanding of each others grievances is at the core of our ability to intermingle or even date as expressed by this threads title. Moo moo and Afriking have come to this forum prepare to take on Black American imperialist (in the former) and African American morons who hate Africans just because they are Africans (in the latter). Neither has looked deeper into why they have had certain experiences in their lives, with certain African Americans and they feel there’s a need to vent their anger here.

Let me allude to what I have seen in my lifetime, when it comes to the question of cross-cultural dating, relationships and even marriage. I have had almost every female in my family date a continental African or an Afro-Latino, at one time or another. I have dated many women who had once dated an African male native to Africa. Some of these relationships were probably good, some bad and some indifferent, mostly all were short lived, except for the ones that ended in marriage. I use to wonder why African American males and continental African females relationships were so few and in-between…I agree some of this, may have had to deal with certain hang-ups and misconceptions some African American men had with what they thought was a suitable mate, but there was also a lot of bashing, generalization and condescending talk about African American males by continental African men. The sisters would tell me how these African brothers would say awful things about us and invent hypothetical and stereotypical scenarios in which the African male would have the better ethics or mores than his African American male counterpart. These African brothers would tell their own African sisters not to marry us or get involved with us and that we were basically “no good”, dangerous, lazy and untrustworthy, while these same brothers would lust and woo after our females.

This is a truth some African males don’t want aired in public.

I love the African Latinos and Africans in my family dearly and we are very close. I just see them as family members. One of them has been in my family before I was born and I have the highest regard and respect for him.

What Moo moo and Afriking don’t understand is that the people they have encountered don’t hate them, but they hate the African or Black person inside of their self. Europeans have done a job on our minds all over the world. I could fill up this forum for the next 100 pages talking about and showing examples of how African, Afro-Latinos and African Americans have been buffooned and maligned for what we look like and how we dance, talk, sing and live. This has happened in North America, the Caribbean, South America and Africa proper. And any Black person who says this has not affected the psyche and the well being of these people of African descent, is either fantasizing or outright lying.

Be you me, If Cuba was a predominately white Latino country, America would have found some type of functional relationship between our two countries and would have removed its embargo years ago and the rest of the white European world would be collectively pouring billions of dollars into Cuba, as we speak.

For every African American who has an unjustified hatred or preconceived idea about Africans and Afro-Latinos, you can find an African or Afro-Latino with some of the same prejudice about them (AA’s).

In ending, …your argument may be with American imperialism, the historically vicious mental onslaught of white supremacy or European cultural hegemonism, or even the twisted arrogance of some mis-educated and brainwashed African Americans, but not with the progressive thinkers in this forum.

Peace,

Brother Sun Ship

"What Moo moo and Afriking don’t understand is that the people they have encountered don’t hate them, but they hate the African or Black person inside of their self. "

I think many Black Americans themselves have yet to understand this, why are you telling me this and biting my head off, all the hell I said was there are many AA's who are incredibly ignorant and hateful towards Africans, nothing more, nothing less, I didn't even come to any conclusion on it.

" agree some of this, may have had to deal with certain hang-ups and misconceptions some African American men had with what they thought was a suitable mate, but there was also a lot of bashing, generalization and condescending talk about African American males by continental African men. The sisters would tell me how these African brothers would say awful things about us and invent hypothetical and stereotypical scenarios in which the African male would have the better ethics or mores than his African American male counterpart. These African brothers would tell their own African sisters not to marry us or get involved with us and that we were basically “no good”, dangerous, lazy and untrustworthy, while these same brothers would lust and woo after our females. "

I am not lusting for or trying to woo after AA women, I plan on going to college in the US and moving there permanently, I will not be lusting after or trying to woo after AA women.I would never talk bad about AA men and get with an AA woman, this wouldn't make much sense considering there are ignorant anti-African AA women, and there are AA men who consider themselves pan-Africanist or have nothing against Africans. An AA woman is the female version of an AA male,I wouldn't get with a woman and disrespect the men in her family, I hate when the most unbelievably RACIST and IGNORANT White girls can the say the most ignorant/racist **** about Africa or Black people in general, and these broads be trying to flirt w/ me and trying to get w/ me. (One white girl called me a 'stupid ******' because I wasn't interested in her, I heard one white girl say she was thankful she wasn't Black because the hair is harder to manage, yet liked me, but all this is another chapter). It's not fair how you're trying to say "oh this is what AfriKing thinks of us", what is so complicated about SOME AA'S ARE VERY HATEFUL AND IGNORANT TOWARDS AFRICANS. I know AA's are all perfect angels, but there's a lot of bashing, generalizations and condension of Black Americans against Africans too, and while I'm not trying to justify any ignorance Africans may have to AA's, I sincerely think a lot of the resentment is a self-defense mechanism. I haven't stereotyped AA's as 'lazy, untrustworthy, no, good, dangerous', don't disrespect my African heritage and we won't have a problem. And I could care less if an African queen got with an AA man, I just don't want to see an African queen w/ a white boy to be honest, with the stereotypical and preconceived notions many AA's have of us, I don't think most AA's have any interest in dating/marrying Africans, male or female.

what is going on in here people?

Let me create a scenerio. If there was no organizations for unwanted children and oneday on your way home a child was sitting alone at a curb. Would you leave that child there or kill it because it was from a race of people who have done nothing but humiliated you. What if that child personally has never caused you harm? And if that child does call you a name, do you blame that child or do you blame the people who has taught the child to say such things?

I think that most grown folks arent much different from that child. They are ignorant until someone shows them something different from what they were taught or thought to believe. Ignorance has no color or race. The neglect to not look within ourselves to find out how ones issues might relate to us, is ignorance. A wise brother once said, that to know yourself is to know other people!

As an African American female, I have been the burnt of many ignorant rants. Some by African American, spanish, white, red, blue, yellow, and green. The thing is, yes it hurt my feelings that someone could think ill of me but I know who I am. I could careless what a person who don't even know my person has to say about me. It didn't make me feel like the next person was equally ignorant because he/she looked like the people who judged me.

Brother Afriking, you said that you will not lust after African American women. Did you say this meaning that you will not lust after any woman or just African American women? Or are you admitting that you find most African Americans to be Ignorant? I saw where you said that you didn't think that we all was this way and in the same breath you say you wouldn't lust after African American women. Please explain this to me.

Sister Moo Moo, out of all the African American people you have met in your life, you haven't met anyone who was kind to you? And if you have, have the negative out weighed the positive people? If so, I think that maybe you have not allowed yourself to meet many African American people.

There was a time when I wouldn't date any one else but African American men, but it wasn't because I thought them lesser than me. It was because I only knew AA. I didn't allow myself the opportunity to get to know anyone outside of AA. Now that I am more consciously aware of my Brothers and Sisters from outside of the Americas, I see myself embracing my people of all cultural upbringing. And the good news is that I am not rare. Many AA's have been doing this for years as opposed to the ones who are ignorant.

The Bottom line, Will I date African people from outside of America? You can bet on the Ancestors I will! Do I care what some Africans who dont even know me may think? you can bet my beautiful Black skin I don't.

Mbote (greetings ) brother Panafrica,

batu nioso pe (and everybody too),

This is an interesting topic you started here I like it. I can speak of my own experience on this topic as a Kongolese woman married to a Black American man. I have to be honest though, culturally it seems like we have nothing in common. My husband is westernized, and I am very Afrocentric.. We work things out because we love each other. He loves me, and he could care less of my race or where I come form. But me I love him especially because he is a BLACK MAN, I also feel I need to gives him back HIS ROOTS through me and our future kids.

By seapking about the westernized mindset of my huband, I am talking about his views on life, his interests, his manners, his fashion/food/artistic tastes all that is Western.. He didn't even know where my country was before he met me! Through him I see that American society has uptrooted so many Black Americans it's sad. But when Black Americans realise that, and care, they have to do something about it. It's then we Black-Africans have to come to help..

Now, I have to speak about Kongolese men. Well, they are very Nationalists (I am speaking about Kongolese men not all Black-Africans). Kongolese men rarely marry women form other countries, even Black women. It has nothing to do with prejudice, it's just the fact that Kongolese men are stuck in their own ways, and if a woman cannot cook them the meals they are used to, speak their languages, know and respect their traditions they won't marry them period. They might date them, but they will certainly not marry them. That's why among the Black-African immigrant population in Western countries it's very rare to see Kongolese men married with white women. They hate that, good for that one!

Kongolese women on the other hand, we date/marry outside our countrymen no problem. Kongolese women marry Senegalese, Ivorians, West-Indians, Black Americans, our men are cool with that. Kongolese men are the most tolerant people. They are not abusive men. They love peace and comfort. Most Kongolese women are bosses over their men. They run the homes, the family businesses. They are respected and very desired by Kongolese men, and by other Black-African men in Africa believe me..

Borther Panafrica, of course marring within the Black Diaspora will help us build better ties and unity. Besides, the African-American population in the US is decreasing, and the non-Black hispanic population is seriously taking over here as the most numerous and the most powerful minority. So all Black-Latinos, Black-Africans, Black-Carribeans and Black-Americans need to bind together. We need to start marrying more between us, and make more babies. By making more babies we create more Black folks, by having more Black folks on the planet (specially in Western countries), we have more Black population with the power to fight and crush White Supremacy. But it's up to each one of us to see this priority..

Yenge Ye Zola (Peace and Love)
"We need to start marrying more between us, and make more babies. By making more babies we create more Black folks, by having more Black folks on the planet (specially in Western countries), we have more Black population with the power to fight and crush White Supremacy. But it's up to each one of us to see this priority..".

I mean no respect by this comment, maybe im being ignorant, but how exactly does africans and other blacks mixing help others. Africans, were firstly the first blacks to exist, and would be if it wasnt for the shameful history of slavery. Due to colonization, alot of African culture has been dissolved. One priority, is for African culture to be promoted. Africans mixing with other blacks hardly does this. If you encourage Africans to mix, okay, but please stress the importance on the maintenaince of the African culture, because without this, we are nothing. Living in Britain, i see so many mixed relationships between africans and carribeans, and nearly all the time, the african adopts the western culture. Remember, western culture is "White culture", and based on this, many of my people and myself see no difference in marrying a white or a carribean, as they both generally have loose morals, broken families. The blacks who need to be priority are Africans, as we are the alpha, and probably be the omega. Within Africa, there is aids, famine, westernisation, problems that need to be dealt with, but instead of you mentioning this, you seem so concerned with blacks within the west. Despite the fact that i live in the west, i would give my life to my people back home, but not the ones over here, as they deserve it, after all the suffering they have gone through. P.S, i noticed the word "Dating" has come up alot. Being an African, i was raised to believe that a respectable woman did not involve herself with alot of men. "dating", may i stress, a western concept, is something, that in many ways, divides a group of people, not unites them. I hope your not offended by this, please write back.

what is going on in here people?

Let me create a scenerio. If there was no organizations for unwanted children and oneday on your way home a child was sitting alone at a curb. Would you leave that child there or kill it because it was from a race of people who have done nothing but humiliated you. What if that child personally has never caused you harm? And if that child does call you a name, do you blame that child or do you blame the people who has taught the child to say such things?

I think that most grown folks arent much different from that child. They are ignorant until someone shows them something different from what they were taught or thought to believe. Ignorance has no color or race. The neglect to not look within ourselves to find out how ones issues might relate to us, is ignorance. A wise brother once said, that to know yourself is to know other people!

As an African American female, I have been the burnt of many ignorant rants. Some by African American, spanish, white, red, blue, yellow, and green. The thing is, yes it hurt my feelings that someone could think ill of me but I know who I am. I could careless what a person who don't even know my person has to say about me. It didn't make me feel like the next person was equally ignorant because he/she looked like the people who judged me.

Brother Afriking, you said that you will not lust after African American women. Did you say this meaning that you will not lust after any woman or just African American women? Or are you admitting that you find most African Americans to be Ignorant? I saw where you said that you didn't think that we all was this way and in the same breath you say you wouldn't lust after African American women. Please explain this to me.

Sister Moo Moo, out of all the African American people you have met in your life, you haven't met anyone who was kind to you? And if you have, have the negative out weighed the positive people? If so, I think that maybe you have not allowed yourself to meet many African American people.

There was a time when I wouldn't date any one else but African American men, but it wasn't because I thought them lesser than me. It was because I only knew AA. I didn't allow myself the opportunity to get to know anyone outside of AA. Now that I am more consciously aware of my Brothers and Sisters from outside of the Americas, I see myself embracing my people of all cultural upbringing. And the good news is that I am not rare. Many AA's have been doing this for years as opposed to the ones who are ignorant.

The Bottom line, Will I date African people from outside of America? You can bet on the Ancestors I will! Do I care what some Africans who dont even know me may think? you can bet my beautiful Black skin I don't.

"Let me create a scenerio. If there was no organizations for unwanted children and oneday on your way home a child was sitting alone at a curb. Would you leave that child there or kill it because it was from a race of people who have done nothing but humiliated you. What if that child personally has never caused you harm? And if that child does call you a name, do you blame that child or do you blame the people who has taught the child to say such things? "

I don't really understand that scenario

"They are ignorant until someone shows them something different from what they were taught or thought to believe."

Some people remain ignorant no matter what someone shows them.

"
Brother Afriking, you said that you will not lust after African American women. Did you say this meaning that you will not lust after any woman or just African American women? Or are you admitting that you find most African Americans to be Ignorant? I saw where you said that you didn't think that we all was this way and in the same breath you say you wouldn't lust after African American women. Please explain this to me."

The other poster said some African men are condescending towards African American men, stereotype AA men and yet still lust after AA women. I meant, I'm not Dinka from the Barbershop, I don't lust after AA women as a group, I could fall in love w/ an AA woman if she wasn't ignorant/prejudiced against Africans, acknowledged her African heritage and we were generally compatible, I could see myself married to an African queen, a Black Caribbean queen, a B.A.P, a Black Brazillian queen etc., but I'm not lusting after AA women generally, I think that would be self-hating for me to prefer AA women over African women, especially considering I stumbled across the Black Planet page of the most inconceivably finest and sexiest woman I've ever seen in my whole life yesterday who was from Ethiopia, and all the other fine *** African queens from Nigeria ( esp. Nigeria ), Burundi, South Africa, Eritrea, Botswana, Senegal etc., and fine *** Caribbean Black women too for that matter. All I know is I will only date/marry Black women and will under no circumstances ever date ir.

As 19877 has proved, there are still some Africans who are from the continent, who love to put their selves on a higher moral and ethical level than people of African descent who are not born in Africa.

His assertions that diasporic Africans are demoralizing the continental Africans they encounter or are involved with, is the old comical excuse, known as, “the devil made me do it”.

Whites usually blamed blacks in the west for everything that is morally wrong in their culture, now our African brothers are using us for their own indiscretions and de-culturalization. 19877 there is plenty of immorality and unethical behavior already in Africa (as with any modern country or culture); And plenty of westernized/colonized thinking in Africa that has no need for influence from and cannot be blamed on African diasporic people in the western hemisphere or other places.

Africans from the continent who marry African Americans or others and further adopt western Euro-centric or American ideologies were usually already half way there and were subconsciously yearning for more western culture and indoctrination.

We are all descendant from a group of ancestors, that make us the African people we are today, There is no such thing as “The African” for African anthromorphology and culture vary like plants and the seasons and if the truth be told we were not just Africans, but the first people to dominate ALL the earth. As Ivan Van Sertima proved in his award-winning book, we were here in America before Columbus, with great culture and civilization.

If we are anything, we are “the original Earthlings”.

Also, I commend Sister Abantu, for her eye-opening and encouraging post.

Ashe,

Brother Sun Ship

I mean no respect by this comment, maybe im being ignorant, but how exactly does africans and other blacks mixing help others. If you encourage Africans to mix, okay, but please stress the importance on the maintenaince of the African culture, because without this, we are nothing. Living in Britain, i see so many mixed relationships between africans and carribeans, and nearly all the time, the african adopts the western culture. Remember, western culture is "White culture", and based on this, many of my people and myself see no difference in marrying a white or a carribean, as they both generally have loose morals, broken families.

Welcome to Destee.com 19877, I hope you enjoy these forums, and consider becoming a premium member. Before I answer some of your questions, I do
need to make some clarifications, because there seems to be a common theme within this thread. Dating across the African Diaspora means Black People dating Black People from other countries. While this includes continential Africans dating Blacks from other countries, it is not exclusive to this particular mixing. Dating across the African Diaspora could be an African American Man dating an Black French Woman; an Afro-Brazilian dating a West Indian, a Haitian dating a Black Britain, etc.

Now to answer some of your questions: I understand your concern about the adoption of western culture when Africans mix with Blacks in the West; however, an African living in the West is already exposed to that lifestyle. This exposure increases with each passing generation that remains in Western culture! Therefore to a certain extent you will have to make some adjustments for where you are currently living, if not, why not just go back to your original country?

I always encourage people who are involved with someone from another culture (either through dating or marriage), to learn about that culture. If one can not understand or respect that culture, then they should not be involved with the person. I also encourage "meaningful" relationships & marriage. Indeed I am married to a African woman (born in Spain to African parents). However "dating" is part of the culture of Blacks in the West. This might not be part of our original African culture, but it is so ingrained in Western society, that it wouldn't be easily (or realistically) shed! Different people do have different concepts of what dating is. It doesn't always mean that you sleep with every person you see, or go out with every person you can. If done properly dating allows a person to get to know a potential mate better. It provides an opportunity to closer examine a person to see if they are worthy of marriage.

Lastly how can Black people marrying Black people not be beneficial? I'm promoting not just the preservation of culture, but the preservation of race & heritage...bloodline! Through disease, poverty, war, famine, immigration, prision, and genocide the Black race in decreasing worldwide (as other races are increasing). This is why Black People need to marry other Black People. This can be within the same culture or a different culture. It is a matter of survival! If this is not a sufficient reason, I can think of no other!

posted by Afrking
The other poster said some African men are condescending towards African American men, stereotype AA men and yet still lust after AA women. I meant, I'm not Dinka from the Barbershop, I don't lust after AA women as a group, I could fall in love w/ an AA woman if she wasn't ignorant/prejudiced against Africans, acknowledged her African heritage and we were generally compatible, I could see myself married to an African queen, a Black Caribbean queen, a B.A.P, a Black Brazillian queen etc., but I'm not lusting after AA women generally, I think that would be self-hating for me to prefer AA women over African women, especially considering I stumbled across the Black Planet page of the most inconceivably finest and sexiest woman I've ever seen in my whole life yesterday who was from Ethiopia, and all the other fine *** African queens from Nigeria ( esp. Nigeria ), Burundi, South Africa, Eritrea, Botswana, Senegal etc., and fine *** Caribbean Black women too for that matter. All I know is I will only date/marry Black women and will under no circumstances ever date ir.

Thank you Brother for explaining that a little more to me! :thanks:

I know that scenerio was out there. :laugh: I put it there to say simply, sometimes people are truly not aware of the harm that they may actually be causing. They are just following what they was taught without even questioning why? Just like a child will mimic the actions of others in it's surroundings or what has been done to them. We tend to show a child a little more tolerence. Some adults are still like children. It is sad but true. Also, some people do remain Ignorant even after the are shown, but should we not try to show them anyway. I hope this was a little more clearer.

I would love to see my people embracing each other more and not always pointing out the faults of one another. We all have done things that needed corrections. But if no one is willing to show how to make that adjustments by leading as an example, then we will probably forever be divided.

[QUOTE=Moo moo]I understand what you are saying, but my point is that YOUR country who has supposedly MORE ACCESS to information should really be more INFROMED. For some reason, an ignorance of people beyond your borders prevails even in the internet age.

I do travel extensively and am still a Cuban citizen (my work allows me to do so). But, those Americans which I come into contact with when I am here in Canada aren't always courteous. It is as if unlimited "freedom" has made