i'm fat and ugly i weigh 250 pounds i'm 18 yrs old and no one in the world likes fat people they think we stink and are lazy and none of the guys ask us out for dates if you're not skinny you're not cute i hate myself i've tried all kinds of diets but i'm never able to stick with it i hate being this way people think fat people just like being fat it's not true i don't know what to do i hate myself so much i wish i could just cut the fat off my body and be beautiful like other girls even my family makes fun of me

Sweetheart, you are young and have so much time to turn your life around. Think positive and get yourself into a positive place. I think that you should first go to a doctor and see if there are any medical reasons as to why your weight is so high. If not, then maybe your doctor can talk to you about liposuction. There are ways to have it covered by medical insurance. You should also look (first and foremost) into exercise. A great deal of the time diet alone is not enough and you need to jump start your metabolism. Losing weight isn't easy, but you are only 18 and it can be done. Also, don't believe the hype about how men only like skinny women, there are lots of thick healthy beautiful women in the world. Try looking at a magazine called Mode, it has fashion and beauty for plus sized women. But most of all, we are all God's children and he loves you...but you must first love yourself. Take care and good luck.

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!!! We are not all meant to be skinny! And trust me when I tell you, there are plenty of men out there who like full-figured sisters whether they be phat, thick, or super-sized. The tricky part is this: In order for others to see your beauty, you must see it first! Two goals to start with:
1. Begin to think of yourself as beautiful. Change the energy that you project. CARRY yourself like you are beautiful, and your inner beauty will begin to shine through. Pamper yourself. Polish yourself like the precious vessel that you are! Walk proud, and attempt to look people in the eye and smile. Get those eyes up off the ground and begin to celebrate the world around you. Realize that you are a singular precious gift that has been given to the world. Treat yourself accordingly.
2. Begin to make lifestyle changes one at a time, for health reasons. You don't have to go on a strict diet, just introduce little changes. Start out by doing something as small as drinking eight full glasses of WATER (not soda!) a day. Then try eating at least five servings of fruit and vegs a day. These are changes that might seem small, but they can make a huge difference over time.

Sista girl I am going to keep it real. I am 30yrs old & was always slim til around the age of 27. In 3yrs I saw my 5'9/150lb frame go from a size 12 to a 18 & 200lbs. When I saw 200lbs on my scale I immediately got my act together & lost 50lbs in a matter of months. My coworkers thought I was on dope. I was disgusted at myself even though I was only a size 18 (which in the black community is considered thick) and the men thougt I was still beautiful because I carried it well. My doctor saw my weight on a form & questioned it because even though I gained I could carry it well because of my height. It didn't matter that everyone around me thought I looked fine, I knew 200lbs could easily turn into 250lbs then 300lbs. You have to nip it in the bud while you are young. As for men........there are those that will tell you that there are men out there who like overweight women. Just think about that. If you were a man would you want an obesed woman. Hell NO! The truth is there are men out there who like women with LOW SELF ESTEEM (LSE) !!! Yes there are beautiful women with LSE but the obesed women number them out 10 to 1. Ain't it funny that the most sorry, lazy, good for nothing men will usually have a big fat girlfriend or wife. I just hope you don't fall into the same trap that alot of sistas fall into. My best friend went from 150lbs at age 18 to 300lbs by the time she was 23yrs old. With LSE all over her face she married the 1st man who told her he loved her. Now 6yrs later she is working 2 jobs to take care of her 3 kids a no good husband who don't believing in working & providing for his family. To those who say that can happen to a slim woman I say show me one slim woman who fell into that trap & I will show you 10 obesed women who fell harder & deeper. Get it together now or you will never be happy.

OBG Sweetheart,

Always put GOD first. You may think that you have
it bad but someone else always has it much worse.

Thank GOD you are still in good health; Thank GOD
you are able to live another day; Thank GOD you
are not homeless and on the street with nothing
to eat

Seek refuge in the Lord and forget about what
men of the opposite sex think. You are so young.
You may not realize it now, but in the long run, the
only thing that matters is your relationship with GOD.

:)

one love

:heart:

HOW DID WE GO FROM OBESITY TO MEN? Oh, I do believe she mentioned she couldn't get a date because she was obese.

just wanted to point that out before
any confusion began to develop

her motivation should not be to lose
weight to catch a man but to lose
weight for herself because she cares
about her health and her well being

we as grown women know good and
well it takes a lot more than BEING SKINNY
to attract members of the opposite sex

there is always going to be something
some man doesn't like

that's why i am suggesting for all of us
as women to put GOD first and do what is
pleasing unto him

that's all that matters :)

surely ya fate is of trust within forth GOD so loveth u
one should love thou self

men knoweth of beauty which sit outside is ugly inside
da weight of such is beautiful

da inner beauty of u is yo heart indeed seek da light of GOD forth u will find peace and comfort need not be bashful nor shame
coz $$RICH$$ luv ya all da same

their is a mate whom await u
a true love whom seek u
in tyme u will feel his vibe

no ya not ugly nor heavy
only to da foolish one's whom see beauty in da booty
but from da heart he so would love u

stay sweet and hold on to faith forth he is yo answer
hate be not of GODS children
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
welcome to da playground of Destee's place
welcome within dis family and many friendz
welcome luv to da house of beauty
hate not forth i am watching thee from above
so da magical $$RICH$$ one send u much love to live by !
hold on to ya unchanging hand.... a man is a man
live for self not a he
be of self not of him
u r lovely sistah
ya a Queen let no man taketh u under........................$R

eating habbits. I know for a fact that if there are cookies in the house then I'm gone eat them. that goes for chips, candy, sodas, ice cream etc.... If you don't buy it you won't eat it.

try keeping a log of the foods you eat and how much. Increase your water intake and get moving. Just walking alone will do the trick. I know it's hard especially if the family have jokes. see if you can get a friend to walk with you.

It's better to do this with someone than to go it alone. Go see your doctor and talk to him/her about nutrition. Or you can talk to a counselor and start loving you from the inside out sweetie.




One

Hate is a very strong word....I wouldn't worry about the weight thing first if it's not a detriment to your health...I would work on loving myself...Because the mind affects the body and you wonder why dieting doesn't seem to work 4 you......... Love ,u must look 2 the hill from whence cometh your help and he (GOD)will direct you in the path that you must go......If u don't love yourself don't expect no one else to.............

Stay up because you are blessed.......

indeed ya love for thou self is the power of ya looks
inside ya mind u will know da true feelings and surely
ya soulmate awaits u in the wings ......u are loved !!!

don't be down on self or feel hate ya love inside is gold

pleas don't think of ur self that weigh , ok there are plenty of people in this world who love big people but you should thank god everyday aight and keep ur head up just be stong ok

First off do not think of yourself as "obese black girl". You are a Nubian Princess. You have to be self confident about yourself. The only bones I like are neck-bones. I like my women cute in the face and thick in the waist. :-) It will be very difficult for teenagers and some adults trying to fit the "image" thing. Every morning when you get up look in the mirror and say, " I am beautiful" and "I am somebody".

hey sweety obd......i wont start talking about how some people saw me when i was young...
but i just wanted to say ....listen to this song off cristina aguilera
you are beautufull..
in gods eye he created you beautifull.....
he do says youre body is a holy temple so you have to love it nurture it..the way it was ment............
the book of love says.........
mm sweet i will get back to ya......
i,m serius i forgot it...but is so strong....
i will be back.(maybe in the mean time you can read some to...that will make you feel better .....really)
by untill i,m back
youre beautifull.......

Beauty of whatever kind, in it's supreme development, invariably
excites the sensitive soul to tears.

I am 27yrs old and I now weigh 228(I use to be 240)
For about as long as I can remeber I've been trying to lose the lbs. I hated being big and still do, but I realized that the anger I have for it can help me lose it. I began to exercise daily, doing everything from walking to jumping around to dancing all in my house. I stopped eating meat, alot of sweets and late night snacking(which isn't easy) I've failed alot, but for every step backwards I took two to three steps forward.

I found that web sites like this, the slimfast site and my journey to living natural and going natural helped me love me and change me. Maybe you should use this site and others to boost your self love:heart:

Also STOP worring about what others think of you, what you think and know about yourself is all that matters. YOU have to
start with YOU before you can allow anything one else to help.

I learn that the hard way. Like I said I am now 228 from 240 doing this in a month(still failing at keeping it straight) but Because I know this is my Biggest goal I'll achieve it and you can too!!!

Please believe in YOU as everyone who responded does.:love:

Don't lose the weight for others, lose it for you. Don't use food as a substitute for dealing with other issues. What is at stake here is your health. Don't try to lose the weight too fast. Don't diet, just stick to healthy foods. Eat nutritious vegetables and fruits, baked fish and chicken (no fried foods), and stay away from breads, cakes and white rice. Eat five small meals a day instead of 3 large ones. Start exercising. It could begin as simple as walking.

You are in my prayers little sister. It won't happen overnight but be patient and remember your goal. Remember this is for you.

See there we go. Things that work for you Regina and others don't always work for others. Some people have to diet in order to lose weight.

I skip meals because it keeps me from binging and purging. I have to find my own way to diet and exercise to lose the weight.

So lil sis, do whats good for You, read what We are ALL saying, but do what's good for >YOU<

GOOD LUCK!!!

Making a lifestyle change with your diet is key. Good nutritious meals and exercise is the key.

Azzura76, this isn't about you my sister...

To our little sis, stay faithful and prayerful.

I'm not making this about myself, I've had my struggle and delt with it.

This battle belongs to this young lady, and I told my story to her because she indeed is not ALONE. What I wrote down for U to read, was simply that. No comments, no actions.

indeed what's best for our sista she will know
hold faith and surely one will guide your direction
but faith is a major key as well eating right the right exercises
the right diet
indeed do what u feel best for u and move forward in time

Lil sister I know your pain. I too am a big beautiful woman. I have very high self esteem. I am proud of who I am, but at 18 I hated being big. I hated how everyone seemed to look at me. I hated how I looked in the mirror. I still have days like that, however I know that I am beautiful outside and more importantly on the inside. I have tried everything from diets to pills to excersise, to Jenny Craig to slim fast. Nothing worked for me. Eventually, I grew to realize that beyond what the rest of the population may think, there are us "big beauties" that cannot lose the weight with diet and excersise. I have looked into gastric bypass surgery. However, it is a BIG decision. I have been looking into it for about two years. Don't rush in! It is a lifelong permanant EXTREME change. Just food for thought. Blessings to you on whatever you choose to do, but if you are not happy with yourself now. If you don't love yourself now, losing weight will not help. After the weight is gone the underlying factor is still there. You have low self-esteem. I'm praying for you. You are beautiful no matter what anyone else has to say about it.
Much Love...Alize

P.S. There are PLENTY of men out here that love them a big woman and aren't afraid to tell you that. So do this only if YOU want it, not because you can't get a date. The men aren't looking because you've got your head hanging. Lift up your head and know that you are beautiful. Carry yourself like a woman and watch how men start to turn their heads. ;)

Regina and KeepiTreal give very good advice. THe fried foods, refined and processed foods like refined sweetners and salts, as well as starches, have a very slow rate of metabollizing and convert to huge amounts of sugars. This is why so many young people are getting Diabetes today. YOung sistah, try not to focus too much on your body, see yourself as a shining spirit with a physical shell....one that be molded and shaped with your own will power. Being obese is not a crime, the crime is to let yourself be subjected by an attitude that keeps you from reaching your potential. You are just 18, and you have the advantage of youth, energy and vigor to rise above this.
Let nothing hold you back. You can do it. I'm believing in you

Hotep

Don't hate yourself.Do something about it.It took 18years to get where you are now.Don't expect a quick fix.The way I look at it if it takes another18 years to lose the fat you are ahead of the game.Your friends will have gone through several boyfriends or husbands and you will just be starting out.Try slim fast twice aday and walk 3miles.on the week ends pig out .Go to church and take your mine off of yourself .In my town most of the overweight women have husbands and me who is 125lbs have only a dog.Being over weight is not healthy but to say you will find a boyfriend just because you are small is not always in the books.The main thing about being small is you feel good about yourself.Go to it my sister.You have to make the first move.Let me know how you are doing.

No matter what size you are you'll never be beautiful to the world if you aren't beautiful to yourself. And would you really care what they thought if you didn't feel the same?
Weight is a struggle that I deal with daily. I was never small but, always in shape. After the birth of my son, it all went downhill from there. I got up to be 220 pounds, that was November. That's we I decided something had to be done. Pronto! I'm only in my early twenties. I'm too young to be unfit. So I cut out sodas and sweets, which wasn't hard for me because I rarely ate them anyway. But that bread, shawty, was the devil. But I was too late. I'm 185 now. I've lulled off but I am still working at it. NOt to mention about to drink myself to death with water. Flush out all of those toxins. But I started too late, even with my change in lifestlye, diet and exercise--cause i exercise four days a week-- i still found out that i have borderline diabetes. not the full fledged thing but still scary as hell. it runs in my family. my grandfather died from it. and a hell of a lot family has it still. so i have to talk care of me. for my sake. especially for my children's sake. all they have is me. so i can't get sick or make them sick but feeding them an unbalanced diet. Just think moderation. okay.
and about you being lazy, honey please, i rest more now then when i was over 200 pounds. everyone has their exertions and limitations. Know yours! And take care of yourself. It's too many health issues threating black folk out there.

And, baby, everything god made is beautiful. Especially black woman.

And don't think weight, think body fat percentage. Stay motivated. Okay. Can't nobody want it for you but yourself.

so sistah love thou self forth many will loveth u as well
come visit our sistah chat where u can be embraced by
the sistah's and build ya self esteem to the fullest at
sistah chat every tuesday night @ 8 PM ET at
www.*************/chat and share yo feelings with them
they can help and give u some direction of peace with self
do visit them and chat with sistah Destee & NNQueen and
many many more ...........please love your self as God so loveth u

Please allow me to first say I appreciate you coming and not being fearful to express your anguish. I have a daughter who is 10 years old and wieghts 166 pds, she to is very self conscience of her weight but I assure her of the fact that it doesnt matter only what you are outside but also inside. So even though others may ridicule you including your family your toughest critics continue to nourished your inner person allow it to grow and blossom looks are superficial but the person of the heart remains bueatiful forever. Never allow anyone to steal your inner soul robbing you of all your dreams and ambitions pray and ask God to lead you to someone who can help you for no matter how hard you try you can never please everyone but he will always be there for the acceptance of you. And my lady there is no where in this world that says one size fits all, for bueaty is in the eyes of the beholder and if what you see is bueatiful than all others will see bueaty inside and out. Stay strong and bueatiful for these are the years never to repeated go out and enjoy life or life will slip by and it won't matter anymore. Much Love Signed Tdogg

You are not ugly. You are beautiful. Your error is that you have not discovered where your personal beauty and magnificence lie. Almost everybody has something that makes them special, magnificent and beautiful, but not many people find it. You won't find yours by looking inward at yourself. You'll find it by looking outward, at other people, and at the things which interest you, the things where you have a greater ability than the average person. Maybe it's late to reply to you, but others may read this and maybe it can help them.

If your friends and family hassle you about your physical appearance, the shame is on them, not on you. Especially coming from family. They should be helping you deal with your overweight, not jabbing at you about it. If they keep hassling you, tell them you've lost respect for them because they judge people by outward appearances, rather than by inner qualities, like character, intelligence, talents, etc.

I found your plea on a search of the Internet, and was alarmed at the expression that you hated yourself. I couldn't let it go by. Maybe because I'm white, you will ignore what I say, but I say it with genuine concern.

Some of the suggestions here are good. If you are religious, faith might help you cope, but it won't take the weight off. Vigorous walking will, and so will reducing meats, replacing them with fresh fruits and veggies. Zero junk foods. Drink plain water - a lot. But realize that it is also true that some people seem destined to be larger than fashion models, and that there really are men who like more ample women. Don't take anyone's advice if they say you had better lose the weight if you want to be happy. Fat people can be very happy. So can ugly people. Losing the weight is good for your health, so try some of the suggestions. I'm an author of a weight-loss book. Write to me privately and I'll give you as much help as I can.

But, while those things are good to know and do, you've missed one of the most important points about happiness. Develop yourself. Find your deep interests and personal talents. In other words, go about your business of pursuing those things. In the process of becoming expert or proficient or knowledgeable, you will gain respect from people. That's where the satisfactions in life begin to grow best. If you can't keep your mind off of yourself and your hatred of yourself, your overweight condition, the things people say, where will you find time to develop your talents? People who are popular are usually not looking for popularity. They're following their own interests, and sometimes people get interested enough to want to tag along. Life is infinitely more than being beautiful or attractive to men.

You ARE already beautiful. Know it, then go looking for the thing or things that make you so.

Something else just occurred to me to tell you. You've already done something rather magnificent. You've inspired this old lady!

Since 1990, I've been disabled from a failed spinal surgery. I retired and moved to Mexico, where I have been helping the indigenous Huichol people empower themselves. I do this because I have the time and want to do something worthwhile. The success of my project has given many of their people better control of their lives. They did most of the work themselves, and are proud of themselves for it.

Your posting made me think. Some Americans also need liberating and empowering. Many are in minority groups. We have a shameful level of prejudice among our people (on *all* sides of the skin-color fence). I ought to spend some of my efforts fighting prejudice among my own people, too. And thank you, sweet girl, for the inspiration!

Prejudice is more than racism. It's hating someone for the "crime" of simply being what they are. If the people hassling you gave their behavior a moment of thought, they'd realize that they are behaving as badly as any racist. Instead of hating your skin color, they're hating your fat. It's the same darned thing, and it's despicable, whether it's aimed at race, or fat, or age, or anything else.

That's what I'm dedicating the rest of my years to: fighting hate and prejudice. Find something that fires you up, a cause, or an area of skill or knowledge. Then get yourself into it deeply, learn more than most people know about it. You'll then be active enough, I can promise you that. Busy people, with goals and visions, don't have time to hate themselves standing in front of the mirror. The best part is that anyone can find a purpose to get excited about. Oh, and read. Read a LOT. How can you become the world's best geologist one day, if you never become one at all because you never discovered that you have an interest in it? Read.

And you're not just a sister of black women. You're mine, too, as I am yours. All goodwilled people are brothers and sisters. Restricting it to one race is a mild aspect of racism, too. It isn't black against white, but non-haters against haters. Both come in all colors and forms. Black IS beautiful, because all human skin colors are beautiful. None makes the people wearing it better than any other people, though. The only things that make anyone "better" in any way are character and accomplishments, but nothing makes anyone worthless unless they commit horrendous acts, like Saddam & Sons. Contrary to the old saying, God does "make junk." Fortunately, not a whole lot of it.

Be neat, clean and well groomed - beyond that, focus yourself on setting a plan for following your personal star. Reach out to other people, too. It makes both you and them feel better.

All the luck in the world to you, my sister.

Sweetie it seems that u ur hating the wrong thing.....if u hate urself how do u expect anyone else to have any other feeling than u do. First and foremost u should "LOVE" urself like u've never loved anyone and do that by taking care of yourself. This is something I had to for myself.......at one point in my life I weighed 210lbs and I am 5'2. It was horrible.....but wut I had to do despite all of my family teasing and jokes .....was set goals for myself and stick with them and ignore the heck outta them......no matter wut they said I didn't let it bother me ....I just thought of the out come of all of my efforts. A year later I know weigh 145lbs. It was hard !!!! but it was so much more gratifying to show everyone that I could do it than to fail and have them make even more comments about my weight. I went though alot to try and take care of myself and I didn't do it because someone thought I was fat or ugly but because I love life and I want to be here as long as I can so that I could enjoy all the good things life has to offer. So don't let wut other people think effect how u feel about urself because when it comes down to it......the only oppinion that matters is urs.

Believe me u can do it!!!!!!

eating habbits. I know for a fact that if there are cookies in the house then I'm gone eat them. that goes for chips, candy, sodas, ice cream etc.... If you don't buy it you won't eat it.

try keeping a log of the foods you eat and how much. Increase your water intake and get moving. Just walking alone will do the trick. I know it's hard especially if the family have jokes. see if you can get a friend to walk with you.

It's better to do this with someone than to go it alone. Go see your doctor and talk to him/her about nutrition. Or you can talk to a counselor and start loving you from the inside out sweetie.




One


I agree. Once you start and see how better you feel, you will appreciate it and not want to poison yourself with these dangerous foods. What really helps is if you surround yourself around people with healthy eating habits. I personally have family members who are always dogging my lifestyle (vegetarian) and they're the most obese and unhealthy people. You wouldn't go to a poor man for financial advice. So stop listening to those who are not healthy.

You may try by socializing with a health conscious crowd who will support your goals in trying to eat and live healthy. Listen to the health station on talk radio instead of music sometimes. This will put you in a right frame of mind. Good Luck!

i am sorry you feel the way you do about yourself. at 18, you should be looking at a brighter future.

maybe if you took just 30 minutes a day to work on you, it wuold help you to be able to see light in the darkness. the weight did not come on overnight. it will not leave overnight. you are beautiful and created by God, find him and find yourself.

In Jesus name,

lis

There are many factors that could be involved when it comes to weight gain (food allergies, leaky gut, parasites, improper food combining, etc). However, here is some advise that may be useful to you. Remember, there could be many factors but this is a good place to start.

Avoid white flour, white rice, processed foods, junk food, sugar, sweets, soft drinks, artificial sweeteners, processed meats, table salt.

Consume more fresh (organic if possible) fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains, brown rice, cold-water fish (such as salmon), soy, nuts and seeds (in small amounts), filtered water, fresh fruit and vegetable juices.

Use only extra virgin olive oil for cooking and stay away from hydrogenated or partly-hydrogenated oils in any form (e.g. margarine); use fatty foods such as avocados, olives, and nuts and seeds in moderation.

Limit your intake of alcohol and caffeine.

Never skip breakfast.

Eat small meals throughout the day.

Make lunch, not dinner, your main meal of the day.

Chew your food at least 30 times before swallowing.

Get regular exercise, such as running, swimming or walking. Increase your flexibility through Yoga or stretching exercises. Do strength training at least a couple times a week.

Do not go grocery shopping when hungry and do not keep unhealthy food in the house.

Don’t give into your cravings immediately. Cravings are like waves, they tend to peak and then subside. If you can keep busy for a little while the craving will usually pass on its own.

The easiest thing to remember for those of you who don't want a complicated program to follow is DON'T EAT ANYTHING WHITE!

Love & Light

First off babe, smile! You're blessed.

Secondly, everyone (no matter how hard they try) is not meant to be the Halle Berry type. Our genes and physical traits were determined way before we even had a chance to have a problem with it.

Loving yourself comes with time. God loves you and He don't make ugly. You are beautiful in any way you decide to be; whether it be with a weave or natural or light or heavy. You are a gift and that's all there is to it.

I'm around the same weight as you are and wear a size 18 & 20 jeans and my best friend is slightly heavier than me and wears a 22 and 24. Girl, we still represent for the big girls. We have an unshakable confidence and self love that came with time and honesty. It's not how much you weigh but how you carry yourself.

There's nothing wrong with being big, but what matters is that you be healthy. Eat good things and exercise. It'll save you in the long run.

Sometimes no matter how much a person may exercise and eat healthy, if they were meant to stay big they will be big. Too many people die trying to fit the paradigm of a white runway model.

Search within yourself. Love the "you" that comes home at night, takes off the make-up and wordly things and stares into a mirror of truth. When everything is everything, as the world changes, when what's in is over and done with, all you have is the real you. Love her. Appreciate her. Take care of her. She's one in a million.

Besides, why look like everyone else? Being a clone ain't even cute honey.

Look at all the big chicks representing for us...Queen Latifah, Angie Stone, Jill Scott, Aretha Franklin, Mo'Nique, Kim Coles, and the list goes on. I can't think of all the rest right now but you get my drift. All of these women are big and beautiful and no one would dare come to them telling them otherwise. They have confidence and pride. You should too.

There is so much more that you should know! Trust me, there are as many people loving big women as they are that love skinny women.

Go to gURL.com. You'll be able to find other girls going through similar things and you can learn from the things they offer there.

"Charm and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised." -Proverbs 31:30 :teach:

Feel free to email me if you want to, if there's anything you'd like to know or if there's anything you have trouble with... AfroBoricuaPrincess@hotmail.com


Take care :x:

You should never hate yourself even though it may feel like things are really bad. Like others have said, you have time to get where you want to be. Never listen to negative things other say about you. It's true, all are not meant to be skinny. Something even more true is that a lot of guys do not like skinny girls at all. I need a little meat on a woman for one. I can't stand a woman that I can't see when she's standing behind a lightpost. That's not hot. I'm really am not good with diet advice, but other members have made many good suggestions regarding them, so just be patient and work on where you want your weight to be. Don't let anyone's stupid comments dictate how you live your life. You be you and everyone else will follow, beautiful. No one is perfect, and the one's that crack on you are the one's who need the most work, and they know it too. Much Love and keep your head up.

One thing I've learned is that the standard height and weight scale used in society may not be the standard for everyone.

The key is your vitals...blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, blood count, etc. For instance, I am overweight and the ONLY problem that affects me right now is my cholesterol is a little high. But the good news is that everything else seems to be fine. I recently had my gallbladder removed and since that time, I have been feeling great! I am eating smaller amounts and three well balanced and proper meals. I just had a good salad with plenty of raw veggies and could barely eat it all.

My jeans that were too tight are quite loose now. I feel so good today because I'm not in pain. The gallbladder pain was horrendous and anyone who has experienced this know what I'm talking about.

I love myself. I had low self esteem problems because I had someone in my life who called me cruel names. But someone else came into my life and accepted me as I was and made me feel beautiful. I am a better person because of him. But in reality, the weight was a problem to me healthwise and I had to do something about it.

Too many of us black folks are dying due to hypertension, heart problems, etc. We got to change our eating habits and watch that weight. Too many times black folks make fun of the white people, talking about their bland foods, salads, etc., while we are killing ourselves with pork, fried and greasy "soul foods", etc. I don't care if folks make fun of my small plateful of food and my constant eating of salads. I'm also careful with WHAT goes into my salad, such as no bacon bits, no croutons, and only lite and minimal salad dressings.

Now that I'm healed, I'm exercising every day and firming up. Today my boss complimented me on my speedy recovery and told me to see her if I need any tips. She's 62 and looks GREAT! Also I am taking calcium since I don't bother with dairy products.

You have to decide that you will loose weight. Make it a matter of prayer. Surround yourself with positive people who are encouraging. Nothing is more sadder than people who make nasty remarks about overweight people. In reality, they are vile and selfhating themselves.

Please do not hate yourself. Do something about the weight. Join Weight Watchers, read health magazines, and most importantly, exercise.

My big secret is that I do not know how much weight I've lost because I will not weigh myself until my birthday in July. It is obvious to all who know me that I've lost weight and I know what I weighed prior to the surgery.

Be encouraged and know that I'm praying for you and that you have an online buddy who cares.

My advice to everyone who is responding is to be positive and not hurt this fragile person. It is your love and concern that will bring this beautiful person down to the proper weight for her and good health!

I hope you can see that you do have people who really care about you.That's why I love it here.Please understand that...man will always find fault in you sis. That's why you have to learn to love yourself. If you want to change.. you must first believe that you can do it. You can become what you want to be....but it has to start with you believing in yourself and loving yourself. Stop worrying about what people say or think. Just know that there's no true love like God's love. That's the ONLY love you can depend on because his love is unchanging.I'm glad you came to the family for help, but none of these things will work until you start having faith. I'm praying for you sister.