i have quite a few male friends who have told me that their first sexual experience was with a older woman. in a few of these cases, the babysitter was the one who they lost their virginity - the boys being between 8 - 10 and the babysitter in her midteens.

one friend lost his virginity to a mother of his childhood friends. he too was preteen. they continued their "affair" until he went off the college and they remain close.

it seems none of these men feel that they were taken advantage but more like a favor was done.

we have teachers, both male and female, who have been charged with raping students. however it seems that the consequences are not as severe when it's a boy who is being sexual with an older woman. it's almost like a badge of honor. however, when a man is charged it seems that everyone is in a uproar and calling for prosecution.

why aren't there the same feelings and consequences when a boy is "raped" by a woman?

i say this because i would be very upset, livid, if i found out a woman had had sex with my young son.

none of the men i spoke of above, reported these things to their parents.

why isn't it rape when a young boy has sex with a older teen or woman? in my state, the age of consent is 16 years of age.

yes indeed they was raped from their virginity by these older
women even as they feel they wasn't due to the emotional
state of mind their was nothing no different from a female
these young males was rape and they should feel striped
of their rites
AGAIN I SPEAKETH OUT WHO HAS DA RITES TO A VIRGIN !!?

I agree....it was rape.

kebah

well i know the asnwer is yes....

as i mentioned, my friends don't seem to think of being taken advantage of, sexually abused. they were it almost like a crown.
none ever told there parents. they didn't feel ashamed, forced, disgraced, as many girls might experience.

why don't the little boys feel they were raped?

let's not even talk about the fathers, uncles other older relationships who actually encourage may even arrange "the first time" for the little boys.

i was watching a news program about a son of a major mob figure. for his 14th birthday, his father arranged his first sexual experience.

isom eof these friends mentioned they felt pressured by other relatives to engage at sex at an earlier age. to some, it's a badge of manhood.

Originally posted by Thandiwe
why don't the little boys feel they were raped?

let's not even talk about the fathers, uncles other older relationships who actually encourage may even arrange "the first time" for the little boys.

i was watching a news program about a son of a major mob figure. for his 14th birthday, his father arranged his first sexual experience.

isom eof these friends mentioned they felt pressured by other relatives to engage at sex at an earlier age. to some, it's a badge of manhood.

Simply put, they (boys) dont "feel" that way because they dont fully understand what really happened.

kebah

actually when the girls do tell, they are at blame. wore too tight clothing, had a nice body, in the wrong place at the wrong time...

if a boy tell, people often think a boy or man can't be raped.

Yup...its RAPE! Plain and simple, it's STATUTORY RAPE!

Meaning, it was sex with a minor who was under the age of consent by the law.

If a man does the same thing to a young girl, we're talking about the same thing if a woman does it to a young boy. R-A-P-E!

The reason why there is 'no big deal' made about it is also simple. In our feminized culture here in the USA, folk have been 'conditioned' to think that the 'boy' somehow 'needed' this experience.

Sorry. Children don't 'need' a sexual experience to 'prove' that they are 'grown'.

There have ALSO been articles written about 'predatory' female teachers and coaches who have 'seduced' teenage boys in their 'after hours studies'. They have been married women who have taken to 'going after' boys. And, thankfully, they are NOW doing TIME.

But the damage to the boys is going to take a while to undo.

BTW: Its also RAPE if an older teenager has sex with a younger teenager.

Mike Ramey

the year that mary lou latoureau (sp) was brought to the spotlight, there were quite a few reports of female teachers, as well as male teachers, seducing, having sex with young students.

latourneau was the women who had a child or is it two children with her former student. she did receive jail time.

feminized culture? okay. ((((rolleyes)))))

yes, the age of consent here in MN is 16. as i stated none of the men friends i have spoken with, think of it as rape. the men usually don't see any damage being done to them. they see it as a favor.

what's up with that?

again, is it because we aren't emphasizing the value of one's body in our little boys (men)?

Originally posted by kemetstry
:cool:

The little girls often dont feel they were raped either.

True, but I was speaking specifically about the "boys" in question, and not on a universal level at this point. :cool:

The Mary Kay Latourneau (sp) case was just re-visited Sept. 27 by NBC Dateline. The transcript should be up on their site.

It is STILL RAPE! (no rolleyes here!)

Whether or not the victim views it as Rape does NOT change the fact that a crime did happen. That's like saying that a prostitute (male or female) who gets Raped 'deserves' to 'have it happen' because of their lifestyle.

Not to switch gears, but why is it that when an adult man has sex with an underage girl who may 'think' that she is a woman because of her physical appearance--HE is prosecuted like a criminal?

Because a crime has been committed and he deserves to be hauled into court and prosecuted for his actions. Never mind whether or not the victim realizes what has happened...a crime DID occur.

Mike Ramey

again Mike, no disagreement here.

that is my question? why aren't women also prosecuted as a man would? having a son, i know i would be ready to press charges? how can it be considered a crime when the boys themselves don't see it or may not report it to anyone. as i mentioned, none of my friends ever told their parents about losing their virginity to older women or their babysitters.

the affects on a girl seem to be more visable, both physically and mentally. however, the dateline report also noted that boys also suffered from psychological issues that were most likely because of the rape. it was said that the male victims of rape may have problems with anxiety, depression, and the ability to form long lasting relationships.

for the record, Mary Kay has some issues. he sees herself getting back with the young man, now 19 i believe, when she is released from jail in about two years.

she has two children with this young man and four with your former husband. sick woman!

Part of the reason why women aren't prosecuted as vigorously as men in this situation rests within your answer...

A woman that 'deflowers' a young man is seen to have an 'illness', rather than being a pervert! Not to mention the fact that a willing, feminized mainstream press 'plays up' May-December romances between older women/younger men. They can't tell the truth because they wouldn't be able to 'maintain' the 'illusion'.

Let's look at the justice system itself, and use your son as an example. If HE were the victim from a predatory female, I KNOW you would be on the frontlines screaming for BLOOD...which you WOULD be right.

BUT

The female predator is smart. SHE, first, will try to 'buy' your silence in any number of ways. IF that does not work, she will then use threats by 'dragging' your family's good name through the press. Keep in mind that where there is ONE pervert, there are probably more.

Third, she...like I said...is NOT dumb. She will use the third option of hiring GOOD counsel, complete with experts, to try to either 'explain' away the act, or 'nullify' what happened...perhaps going for a lesser charge.

Mary Kay Latorneau (sp) also had an extra ace...a Judge that didn't believe in the fact that the boy could be a 'victim'. He/She gave Latorneau (in the first case) probation...and told her to say away from the boy, OR she would face seven years in prison.

Mary Kay didn't believe it. She does now!

TEACHER Magazine, a few years back, did an extensive investigation on this...and found that NOW one in five cases of teacher/student sexual misconduct is committed by Female teachers...and the number is rising. Their story had no fewer than twelve female teachers--some of them black women--on the cover of their magazine...up on charges of Rape, etc. around the country.

Now, why don't we hear more about it?

It goes BACK to the Press. And, as one who has experience as a Reporter/Editor, I can tell you from jump that NOT all the news makes it into the paper, or onto the airwaves.

Again, WHY don't we see more such prosecutions?

WHY don't the courts see the teenage boys as 'victims'?

Because, the courts, and the press don't WANT to see...and don't want US to see as well.

Bottom Line: In a society where girls think that 'sleeping around' is OK, and more and more girls are getting into fights in school hallways over having a boyfriend--rather than an education, we're seeing a problem.

I have talked with various women who have teenage sons. Their phones never stop ringing, as these Lolitas are calling asking for their sons. Heck, one syndicated columnist did a piece last year on a girl calling his house, asking HIM how SHE could 'get next to' his son!

And, the boy was only twelve.

Mary Kay IS sick...as sick as Susan Smith with the drowning of her kids in Texas. Sick enough to get her roll on...and try to beat the rap. Best tell our sons that not all perverts wear pants.

Some of them wear skirts.

Mike Ramey.

Great topic Thandiwe.

It is a fact that sex is viewed, taught, absorbed, considered, punished, internalized, prioritized, etc., ... differently for males than females. For example, a female's worth is often lessened if she has had many sexual partners, while it is quite the opposite for males (that old "notch in the belt" syndrome).

Society teaches the above to our children at very early ages. This may be why young males are less likely to consider sex a "violation," and subsequently, there are less prosecutions.

Regardless of the above, it is rape when any child is coerced into having sex.

:heart:

Destee

On Point As Usual!

Mike Ramey

wow Mike ... thanks for compliment! :blush:

I'd like to add ... because young males are taught that sex is good (and he is a man) ... and this is all good ... when he finds himself being violated by another man ... he has few (if any) coping skills. Females are taught early to protect themselves this way, because it's been happening and reported so much longer.

Keep an eye on all the babies.

:heart:

Destee

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Mike Ramey
[B]Part of the reason why women aren't prosecuted as vigorously as men in this situation rests within your answer...

A woman that 'deflowers' a young man is seen to have an 'illness', rather than being a pervert! Not to mention the fact that a willing, feminized mainstream press 'plays up' May-December romances between older women/younger men. They can't tell the truth because they wouldn't be able to 'maintain' the 'illusion'." end quote.

Mike, you starting to sound like Voo, I mean Kemetstry. :rotfl this very well may be said about the opposite.

and the may-december romances i would say are much more acceptable for men. let's not even talk about arranged marriages. the young girl is usually matched up with some old geezer. :D

Destee, i have to agree with you on this one. ;)

more about mary kay...

the young man and his mother were suing the police and school board for knowing of the affair and not taking action against mary kay. they boy and his mother lost.

the defense attorney - he stated that in samoian culture is is totally acceptable and expected for a young man to have sex with an older woman.

they also brought the mother's background into the picture. i missed this part but heard reports of child abuse or neglect of this same young man, failure to pay taxes (ohhh, big deal), and a couple of things to tarnish her image.

okay, we have already established that. no one is arguing that it is not rape. Im' wondering why young males don't see it as rape.

Young men don't see it as rape because of society and because it doesn't always feel invasive. Now if they've been raped by a man and they don't have those tendencies, they would feel raped but if it's that good feeling, naturally they'd think it's okay.

I was watching HBO Taxi Confessions and this guy was on there talking about his first sexual experiences, one with his older babysitter when he was 8 and the next watching porns with his friend and friend's dad and the dad performed oral sex on him. I was appalled. Now "regular" sex is not enough for him. He didn't feel that he was raped in either situation.

For girls, notice that when a young pre teen or early teen is involved with a teacher, they believe that the teacher really loves them so the sex they have is making love, not rape. Children don't always feel that they've been raped that's where the word "statutory" comes in.
-7

i agree WildFlower. because of this they don't tell their parents or report it to anyone. the pertatrator gets away. :(

i also agree because it isn't forced or invasive the victim doesn't feel violated.

:confused: :confused: what is meant by an "older teenager " and a "younger teenager"????:confused: :confused:

Yes, it is rape. I remembered a few years ago a girl who I went to high school with got arrested for rape. She was 18 or 19 and the boy like 16 i think. Anyways she got pregnant by the boy and the boy's parents filed charges. These days kids know too much thanks to television and at an ealier age.

i have quite a few male friends who have told me that their first sexual experience was with a older woman. in a few of these cases, the babysitter was the one who they lost their virginity - the boys being between 8 - 10 and the babysitter in her midteens.

one friend lost his virginity to a mother of his childhood friends. he too was preteen. they continued their "affair" until he went off the college and they remain close.

it seems none of these men feel that they were taken advantage but more like a favor was done.

we have teachers, both male and female, who have been charged with raping students. however it seems that the consequences are not as severe when it's a boy who is being sexual with an older woman. it's almost like a badge of honor. however, when a man is charged it seems that everyone is in a uproar and calling for prosecution.

why aren't there the same feelings and consequences when a boy is "raped" by a woman?

i say this because i would be very upset, livid, if i found out a woman had had sex with my young son.

none of the men i spoke of above, reported these things to their parents.

why isn't it rape when a young boy has sex with a older teen or woman? in my state, the age of consent is 16 years of age.

YES!

This is PEDOPHILIA just as it is when in the reverse.

But, our society has such a perverse "DOUBLE-STANDARD" on this.

Once upon a time, a man would even take his son to a whorehouse for his 1st sexual experience or at least encourage his son to have sex with an older woman first before getting with a girl his age so he would have some experience/know what to do.

When it's an older woman and a teenage boy, many men view it as a "rite of passage."

But, let a grown man have sex with Daddy's Little Girl and all H3ll''s gonna break loose!